Rarity and I had gone to Canterlot. I was there because it was time for me to sustain the paradox and become a time traveler. Why was Rarity there, you ask? Who cares!

After the carriage landed, I'd grabbed my stetson and made my way to the castle. God-Horse was making sure that Rarity wouldn't mess anything up, so I had to wait a few minutes. She soon returned and directed me to the doctor that the other me had said to go to in order to learn the right healing spells.

His name was Rib Remover. He was a magic surgeon, renowned across Equestria for his skills and intellect with medical magic. He gained his fame very quickly. So quickly, in fact, that Celestia herself hoof picked him to be the CMO (Chief Medical Officer) of Equestria. With his amazing skill and my insane magical talent, it only took an hour for me to learn the spell I needed. I returned to Celestia quickly after, finding her in her study having a cup of tea with Luna.

"Hey, Gods," I called to them as I walked towards them.

"Hello, Cloud," Celestia greeted.

"You will call us by our titles, Whelp!" Luna exclaimed angrily.

"Okay, let me try that again." I teleported outside the door again and re-entered, this time bowing dramatically. "Oh! Your Highnesses! How honored I am to be graced by your presence!" Luna gave me a death glare. "May I intrude on your grateful nature to assist with temporal conundrums?"

"Y-You may!" Laughed Celestia. I summoned a Support Circle underneath me and floated towards them, still bowing. When I was close, I dismissed it and got even lower to the floor.

"Is this official enough or do you want me to start kissing your hooves?" Luna rolled her eyes and refilled her cup, leaving an awkward silence. She wants me so bad.

"Anyway," said Celestia, breaking the silence, "I'm going to send you back from here. Explain to past me what's going on and what spells to send you, then fly to Ponyville and teleport into the library to beat yourself up. While you're knocked out, perform the surgery then write yourself a note about what's going on. I assume Doctor Remover taught you the spell?" I nodded. "Good. The time spell I'll be using will only be active for a couple of hours, so do what you need to quickly. Make sure you do everything that you remember seeing yourself do." I guess that includes crying to Twilight...

"What will happen to the version of me that went back originally?"

"No clue."

"Great. Thanks."

"You saw yourself go back in the library, right?"

"Yeah."

"Then that's where you'll be when you come back."

"Okay." I stretched out, producing several satisfying pops from my back. "Let's do this." Celestia ignited her horn, surrounding me in a yellow light. Suddenly, every part of me seemed to be sucked inward, until I felt like I had been torn inside out.

Hello, pain. How are you today? Oh, me? I've been fine. Y'know, lying around, being bored, that sort of thing. Wow. This seems a lot less sane from this angle. What the buck?! This is either a psychic message, or I've developed another alternate personality... It's not quite as simple as that. Why not? Would you just open your eyes already?! Okay! Jeez, calm down. I opened my eyes.

It looked like I was inside a cloud. Everything was very cloudy. And misty. Mistfully cloudy. A room of cloudy mist. With cloud walls. And ceiling. My skills at description are amazing as always. In front of me stood... Me. In another stetson identical to the one I was wearing.

"What?" I asked. I reached a hoof down to me and helped me up

"Yeah," I replied, "this is a thing." I sat down on the floor/cloud. I did the same. "I assume you're the alternate timeline me that I should have created?"

"Probably, assuming you're the first version of me."

"Huh. I didn't expect the timelines to merge like this."

"What do I mean?" I smirked.

"I'd tell myself to not refer to me as also me, but I both already know I can't resist." I grinned.

"Yeah."

"Anyway, I- Wait, have I altered the past yet or did I just go back?"

"I just went back, why?"

"Why am I merging so soon?"

"I don't understand what I mean." I thought to myself for a moment, leaving me confused.

"Hmm... I don't see why- Oh! It probably means that the paradox was automatically sustained by me just going back."

"It automatically fixed it for me? Why?" I shrugged.

"I dunno. I guess we're just gonna be here for a while." There was an awkward silence.

"So why did I break the universe?" I shifted my hooves awkwardly.

"Uh... I kinda attacked Twilight, Rainbitch and Applejack..."

"That's not that ba-"

"...And then left their rapidly dying bodies in the middle of the Everfree with the other three, causing them to die by being viciously ripped apart by monsters."

"Oh." There was another awkward silence. "So that was why I saw me crying to Twilight?" I looked surprised.

"I saw me do that?"

"Yeah, I did. It makes sense why I did that now, so I can stop wondering all the time."

"Yeah. So how did things go in the new timeline?"

"Well; I met my daughter from half of a parallel Equestria conceived by me who was impregnated by future me, I found out I was from an alternate universe, I gassed the Colosseum, I smashed the lieutenant of dicks, I became a consensually abusive parent and I saved a bunch of random Ponies in Ponyville." I stared at myself in disbelief. "What about me?" I shook my head vigorously to jump-start my brain.

"I, uh, killed some Dogs, I killed some Buffalo, I killed my friends, I destroyed the universe, and, uh... That's pretty much it."

"Oh. That's... Different." There were a few more minutes of silence. "It doesn't look like we're leaving anytime soon, so... Wanna bang?" I grinned.

"Some things never change."

And then the fun was doubled!

Author's Notes:

Yeah, not much happened, but I didn't want to skip too far ahead because nothing interesting was happening with the episodes, and I needed to get this to happen at some point anyway.
At least there's not long until the Changelings have their fun!

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The story's gonna be on hold for a bit while I plan and start a new story and stuff.
More info here.