After puking my brains out for a while, Nerdy told me that he had a few classes to attend before the baking contest started. I went to the school library to learn a bit more about this strange alien world.

One of the first I picked up was a book on Primotaur anatomy. It was interesting to see just how different the species was to Ponies. In fact, I was having a lot of fun. I was learning information that no other Equestrian had learnt before.

I eventually reached the section on Primotaur genitalia.

After puking my brains out for a while, it was time for the baking competition. We were in a long room that had been segregated into two kitchens. Only one other student had entered the competition, apparently everypone else was too freaked out by whoever they were to enter against them. However, Nerdy desperately needed grocery money, so he had no choice.

The two of us stood in our side of the double kitchen, waiting for our opponent to arrive.

"Y'know, I've always wondered what puking was like," I said, trying to make conversation. "And now I know." Nerdy turned to me with a confused expression.

"What?" He asked.

"The body I'm normally in doesn't have a gag reflex."

"How do you know puking's a thing in the first place?"

"It's not impossible. The wrong food at the wrong time can make your stomach clench and then it all goes shooting up."

"Oh. Okay."

"Puking's a rare thing among Ponies. Griffons, Minotaurs and Dogs all have gag reflexes, so they don't have to worry about it."

"Did... Did you just say Ponies?"

"Yeah."

"Like the Horse kind?"

"No, Horses live much further east."

"What are you-?" He was cut off by the doors to the room slamming open to reveal a Primotaur that I couldn't tell the gender of. It had breasts the size of Rainbow's ego, sunglasses that were the blackest of blacks and a ginger beard that went down its stomach. Its clothing was just as strange, consisting of a pirate hat on top of a viking helmet, a Primotaur version of a diving suit, things that resembled boxing gloves on its hands and what looked like Primotaur slippers on its feet.

"'Sup, motherfuckers?!" It yelled in the deepest voice I'd ever heard as it stomped into its side of the double kitchen.

"What the buck is that thing?!" I exclaimed.

"That's Munch Yum," Nerdy explained, "our competitor. She's the best student chef in the school."

"'She'?"

"Yeah, it's gonna be difficult to win against her, but if this recipe is as good as you're saying it is then-"

"Wait, what was your plan before you met me?"

"I, uh... Hadn't thought of one yet..." He scratched the back of his head awkwardly.

"Eh, good enough." I pulled the recipe out of my bag. "Now let's win this thing!"

After the firefighters left, we had to sit and watch as the judge gave the prize money to Munch Yum.

"Fun fact," I said, trying to break the tense silence between Nerdy and me, "my daughter is mortal enemies with the fire department back home." Nerdy turned to me with a confused expression on his gross monkey face. Don't be rude! They're my thoughts! I can't tell me what to do!

"You have a daughter?" He asked.

"Yeah. She turned twenty one a few months ago and was born the other week."

"What?"

"Time travel, multiverse, you probably wouldn't be interested. I-"

"Do you even know what my name is?!" His sudden outburst took me off guard, making me go silent for a second.

"Uh... Nerdy Shut-In?"

"That's fucking right! So don't you dare say that I wouldn't be interested in real life sci-fi shit!"

"Are you feeling oka-?"

"Anything even remotely scientific is like a skyscraper filled with pornography for the mind!"

"I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or-"

"So you'd better tell me all it about that shit right fucking now!" There was an awkward silence. It was at this moment that I realised that a decently sized crowd had formed near the kitchen's doorway, all watching us.

"So... You really like sci-fi stuff?" Nerdy sighed.

"Yeah. Sorry for getting so extreme there."

"How about action and adventure?" He looked at me with a confused frown.

"Yeah?"

"Terrible puns, most based around sex and references?" He nodded, the frown still on his face.

"Of course. Where are you going with-?" I flung an arm around his shoulders, pulled him to his feet, pushed us through the crowd and walked down the hallway with him.

"Come along, new best friend," I said cheerily, "let me tell you of my adventures. I awoke with a start..."

Author's Notes:

Anyone remember Munch Yum from chapter ten?

---

Cloud's doing a great job of finding the crown so far.
Absolutely flawless.