"D-Did you just fly?!" Asked a voice from ahead of us. I looked up to see a skinny Primotaur staring at me.

"Uh... Yes?" I replied. There was an awkward silence.

"Oh." There was another awkward silence.

"Well, bye." Before I could move, a bell rang out and everywhere was flooded with Primotaurs.

"What's going on?!" Asked Twilight, shouting above the noise.

"I don't know!" I shouted back.

"How do you not know?!"

"I joined some sort of military thing when I was fourteen and the rest I have no idea about! How do you not know?!"

"I was personally tutored by the Princess!" The crowd seemed to calm down quite a bit, becoming a bit quieter.

"At least we can kinda hear each other now."

"Well lookie what we have here," said a masculine but still clearly female voice from behind me. I turned around to see what seemed to be a very large female Primotaur. "A couple a' newbies!" She grinned with a frown and did something with her whatevers to make a cracking sound.

"Hello, friend," I greeted cheerily, waving a whatever, "isn't today a most wonderful day?"

"It'll be a slightly more 'wonderful' day for you if you gimme your lunch money!" I laughed.

"Go eat a thousand dicks and die in a fire!" I replied happily. The crowd around us (who I'd just noticed were watching) gasped loudly. The Primotaur snarled.

"What the fuck did you just say, you little punk?!"

"The world would be less disgusting without you in it!" The Primotaur starting shaking a little from anger.

"I'm gonna fucking kill you!" She balled up her whatever and swung it at me. I guess that's the equivalent of punching here. Even in the body of a Primotaur, I dodged past it easily. She growled and took a couple more shots at me, but compared to what I was used to dodging, she was slower than Trixie's brain. Boom! I went there! I'm not even paying attention and somehow dodging just fine. What even. I guess all the training with Striker paid off back then!

I started paying attention again and saw that she was coming at me with a heavy swing. I bent backwards and let it sail over me. As I turned to face her, I noticed somepony (or Primo or whatever) running at me from behind. I decided to have some fun and show off, so I jumped into air, kicked off of a Support Circle which I summoned for just a second, did a back flip and landed behind them (somehow without falling over).

"Wait," said the Primotaur who saw me fly, "isn't this what happened in Spi-?"

"He's all yours, Gilda," interrupted the one that charged at me. 'Gilda' shoved them to the ground and turned back to me. Screaming, she swung punch after punch at me, but hit only air. After a few seconds of this, I summoned a few tiny Kinetic Circles around all five sticky-out bits on one of my whatevers and grabbed one of Gilda's punches mid swing, using the Kinetic Circles to make up for the little muscle my current body had. Interesting... If my Circles are small and weak enough, they don't drain me too badly... I grinned.

I summoned a bigger, but still small, Kinetic Circle around my spare whatever and lightly KC Punched Gilda in the chest (is that what it's called? I believe so), sending her flying down the hallway. The crowd started cheering. They quickly stopped when I head a familiar voice from down the hallway.

"What's goin' on down there?!" Shouted Filch. As the crowd scattered, something grabbed my whatever and pulled me into a cupboard. It took me a second to realise it was the Primotaur that saw me fly.

"What are you-?" I started to ask before getting cut off.

"If Filch had caught you, you would've been in loads of trouble," he whisper-explained.

"Oh," I whispered back, "thanks. But why are you helping me?"

"I need a favour." Of course he has to say that while we're in a closet... It's a cupboard, not a closet. You know what I mean.

"What?"

"You're an alien, right?"

"Uh..."

"I need you to help me win a baking competition." There was an awkward silence.

"Does anything you just said actually correlate?"

"I need the prize money to buy groceries." There was an awkward silence.

"Is your family poor, or...?"

"My parents are out of town and I spent all the money they left me on a special edition of the Dark Knight trilogy."

"On what?" The Primotaur looked shocked.

"How do you not know-! Oh, right, alien, yeah."

"That reminds me; how does me being an alien help with a baking competition?"

"You probably know some alien recipes or something, right?"

"No, I'm terrible at baking! Even if I did know any, I can barely use this body, let alone kitchen utensils!"

"You can just tell me what to do!"

"I just said that I don't know any-! Wait a minute..." I stuck a whatever into my backpack.

Current contents:
-1x Apple brand cider (15% strength).
-1x Pancake recipe.
-1x Tin of high sugar sweets - 'Pinkie Simulators'.
-1x Note.

Yes! I still have- Wait, where's the fake tiara? I left it in Celestia's office. Oh yeah. Anyway, I still have- Wait, why do I only have one bottle of cider? I only brought one. Oh yeah. Anyway, I still have- Wait, what's the note? Would I just finish the bucking sentence?! Jeez, calm down, me!

"Are you okay?" Asked the Primotaur. "You haven't moved for a few minutes."

"Yeah, I'm fine," I replied. I pulled out the pancake recipe I borrowed from Violent and grinned. "You want alien food? I've got the recipe for the best pancakes in the universe!" He grinned back.

"Great!"

"Oh, in return, can my friends and I stay at your place for a few days?"

"Sure. Oh, I'm Nerdy Shut-In, by the way." He stuck out a whatever.

"Cloud Calculation." I shook his whatever. Wow, that sounded so much better in my unconscious mind... "What are these things called?" I waved my whatever around. DAMMIT BRAIN.

"Hands."

"Good to know."

Author's Notes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qe6nYTUkAuw&feature=youtu.be

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Nerdy Shut-In is finally introduced!
Let the penis jokes/adventures begin!