I awoke with a start. I was exhausted, sweat coated my body and I had a burning migraine. Every part of me was in pain. I was lying in a field of grass, the sky was clear except for a few clouds dotted around. There was a river a couple of meters to my right.

I tried to remember how I got there only to discover I couldn't remember anything prior to waking up. I knew I was a unicorn and I also knew a variety of spells and incantations but I couldn't remember any of my past experiences.

I slowly stood up and winced in pain. My body felt like it was trying to recover from being hit by a train. I walked over to the river, splashed some water onto my face and drank for a while. I sighed a breath of relief and tried to remember how I'd gotten there in the first place.

Just as expected, I failed.

Okay then, I thought, let's start with something simpler. I sat there for a minute, trying to remember my name. I knew it began with a 'C' and was made of two words. I sat there thinking for about five minutes until it came to me:

Cloud Calculation.

I smiled in relief. Thank Realta I can remember my name. Wait, who in Tartarus is Realta? And why am I thanking her? I put a hoof to my head. Thinking too hard was making the migraine worse and the confusion wasn't helping.

Suddenly, an idea came to me. My cutie mark! That'll give me some insight of stuff about me! I craned my neck around to look at my butt, ignoring the fact that the sentence I had just thought didn't make much sense. It's my brain after all, I could talk or think or whatever any way I wanted to. Anyway, I should continue think-narrating what I'm doing.

My neck was very stiff and sore to the point where I couldn't stretch far enough to see my butt, so instead I decided to check it in the reflection of the water. It was hard to make out but it looked like some sort of circle, with some smaller circles inside of it. I had no idea what it was supposed to be. I guess I'll find out what it is when I've fully recovered. Wait, what's that sound?

I heard the flapping of wings and looked up to see a small golden carriage flying overhead, being pulled by two pegasi in golden armour. A purple unicorn was leaning over the side with an angry look on their face. Looking at the direction it had come from I could see a mountainside city in the distance.

If I follow this carriage I should be able to find civilization. I stood up and began running after the carriage. My legs immediately started aching even more. I sighed.

I just hope it isn't too far.

The carriage stuttered to a halt. The stallions pulling it whinnied and kicked in the air dramatically as their passengers exited the vehicle.

"Thank you, Sirs!" Exclaimed the purple unicorn. The stallions huffed in response, then took off and flew back in the direction they had come from.

"Maybe the ponies in Ponyville have interesting things to talk about," said a small purple dragon as I finally caught up to them. He motioned to me before continuing. "Come on, Twilight, just try!"

"Uh... Hello?" She asked.

"Huh... Huh... H-hey!" I asked, gasping for air. The two looked at me with confused faces.

"Are you okay?"

"Probably not! Huh... Where am I?"

"You're in Ponyville," explained the dragon. "What's wrong?"

"Many things are wrong, purple guy. Many, many things."

"Huh?"

"Do you know where the library is?"

"Yes, it's not far from here," replied the unicorn, still looking confused, "but it's closed as there's no librarian at the moment."

"But we're gonna be staying there for the next couple of days, so we could let you in when we've finished checking up on stuff!" Exclaimed the dragon, balancing on his tail. The unicorn shot him a venomous look.

"Spike! We can't just-"

"C'mon, Twilight!" He begged. "This is your chance to make some friends!" The unicorn (apparently called Twilight) sighed.

"Fine! I'll let him in when I finish checking on the preparations, okay?!" There was a moment of silence before I spoke.

"Uh... Okay. Whatever I have to do to get in that library."

A pink Earth Pony walked up to us and looked at us for a couple of seconds. Suddenly, she jumped into the air and gasped loudly before vanishing into thin air.

"Well, that happened. I'm Cloud by the way; Cloud Calculation."

"Summer Sun Celebration official overseer's checklist," Spike read from a scroll in his... Uh... What do you call them? Claws? "Number one, banquet preparations: Sweet Apple Acres." We were quickly approaching a farm. The plan was for me to follow them around as they checked on the preparations for something called the 'Summer Sun Celebration'. I didn't ask about it so I could avoid any questions about how I didn't know about an upcoming event in a village I was in. I wasn't entirely sure why I wanted to go to the library, something just told me in my gut that I should consult a book.

"Yeehaw!" An orange earth pony ran towards an apple tree. Just before she ran into it she stopped, spun around on her forelegs and bucked the tree, causing all of the apples to fall into buckets that just so happened to be in the right places to catch the apples.

"Let's get this over with..." Groaned Twilight, walking toward the mare. "Good afternoon. My name is Twilight Sparkle-" She was cut off as the mare pulled her into a vigorous hoofshake.

"Well, howdy-do, Miss Twilight, a pleasure makin' your acquaintance! Ah'm Applejack! We here at Sweet Apple Acres sure do like makin' new friends!"

"Friends?" Twilight asked, her voice shaking from the hoofshake. "Actually, I-"

"So, what can ah do you for?" Asked Applejack as she went back into a normal standing position. Twilight's hoof was still shaking violently until Spike stooped it for her. She glared at him as he giggled. Twilight cleared her throat before continuing with what she was trying to say.

"Well, I am in fact here to supervise preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration. And you're in charge of the food?"

"We sure as sugar are! Would you care to sample some?"

"As long as it doesn't take too long..." Before Twilight had even finished her sentence, Applejack had ran to a triangle started banging it with a stick. What's the word for using a triangle anyway? It wouldn't be playing it, she was just banging a stick randomly-

"Soup's on everypony!" Applejack's yelling broke my train of thought. A stampede of ponies crashed into us, pulling us to a table. Applejack popped up next to us. "Now, why don't ah introduce y'all to the Apple family?"

"We're kinda in a hurry so-" I began before being cut off.

"This here's Apple Fritter," Realta damn it! I hate being cut off! "Apple Bumpkin, Red Gala, Red Delicious, Golden Delicious, Caramel Apple, Apple Strudel, Apple Tart, Baked Apples, Apple Brioche, Apple Cinnamon Crisp..." She stopped for a second to breath, "Big Macintosh, Apple Bloom and," she shoved an apple into Twilight's mouth, "Granny Smith. Up n' at 'em, Granny Smith, we got guests." Granny Smith snorted a little as she woke up.

"Wha..?" She asked, dazed. "Soup's on? Ah'm up, here ah come, ah'm comin'..." Applejack turned to Twilight again.

"Why, ah'd say you're already part of the family!" Twilight responded with the most dramatic spit take I had ever seen from as far back as I could remember. Ha ha! Mental wordplay for the win! Get it, me? 'Cause I cant remember anything? Yes, me, I get it. Stop think talking to myself and pay attention! Aw... Okay... I turned back to the situation at hoof, ignoring that I just talked to myself in my mind.

"...Stay for brunch?" Asked the filly previously referred to as Apple Bloom.

"Sorry, but we have an awful lot to do..." Replied Twilight. The Apple family sighed sadly, almost looking like they were trying to guilt trip her. Twilight rolled her eyes, "Fine." The Apple family cheered, making me further suspicious of the guilt trip.

"Don't worry, Cloud," Spike said to me, "this shouldn't take that long." I sighed. I just hope he's right...

"Food's all taken care of, next is weather," read Spike. Twilight groaned.

"Ugh... I ate too much pie..." She slurred.

"Hmm, there's supposed to be a Pegasus Pony named Rainbow Dash clearing the clouds."

"Well, they're doing a lousy job," I stated. This is gonna be my entire day isn't it? I should have brought a mental book... How would that even work? You're the dominant thought voice, you tell me! A loud thud and splash brought me away from my mental argument with myself. Twilight and a rainbow maned pony were lying in a puddle of mud.

"Probably Rainbow Dash," I muttered.

"Makes sense," Spike agreed. Rainbow Dash stood up and gave a sheepish laugh.

"Uh... 'Scuse me?" She apologized, still laughing a little. "Here, let me help you." She grabbed a nearby cloud and put it over Twilight's head. She bounced on it, releasing a small torrent of rain which soaked Twilight. Rainbow laughed a little more.

"Oops, I guess I over did it. Um... Uh... How about this?" She started flying in rapid circles around Twilight. "My very own patented," a small rainbow coloured tornado surrounded Twilight, "Rain-Blow Dry!" Hehehe! Blow! Oh, do shut up... "No no, don't thank me," Rainbow insisted as she flew down to the ground. She starred at Twilight, realizing she had messed up her mane.

Rainbow Dash and Spike fell over laughing. Smash into her, soak her then laugh in her face about her mane? What a whorse. I know right? Such a plot hole. Twilight groaned.

"Let me guess," she started, "you're Rainbow Dash?" Rainbow stood up, knocking over Spike.

"The one and only!" She flew onto the air slightly, getting into Twilight's personal space. "Why? You heard of me?"

"I heard you were supposed to be keeping the sky clear." Twilight sighed. "I'm Twilight Sparkle, and the Princess sent me to check on the weather." Rainbow had lay down on the cloud above the mud puddle.

"Yeah, yeah. That'll be a snap." Rainbow waved her hoof as she talked. "I'll do it in a jiffy, just as soon as I'm done practicing." Oh that is bucking it! She's literally doing nothing!

"Practice doing what?" I snapped at her. "Lying around being useless? You seem to be fine already." She turned to me looking pissed.

"Hey! Screw you, Stick-Head! I can clear the sky in ten seconds flat!"

"Ten? Hah! That's nothing, I can clear it in three!" I readied myself into a balanced stance and started blasting homing magic bolts like I was crazy. Every bolt hit its target and true to my word, it was clear in three seconds. Rainbow, Twilight and Spike all stared at me, mouths agape. Hah! Howd'ya like them apples, bitch! Good thing my time estimation was right.

"B-but I'm the fastest thing there is..." Rainbow stuttered. "How can some stupid magic be faster?!" I glanced at her cutie mark. It was a cloud with a lightning bolt that matched her mane.

"Don't compete with something out of your league, Thunder Thighs. C'mon, Spike, what's next on the list?" I asked as I walked off, leaving the confused Pegasus where she was.

"Town Hall decorations. Beautiful..." Ribbons and flags and stuff. Kinda meh. It's not bad, but it is a bit simple.

"Well, this is fine. We'll get to the library at no time," I stated as Twilight entered.

"Not the decor, her!" Spike said, pointing to white unicorn with a curly, purple mane. She started to choose between different ribbons when Twilight quietly cleared her throat.

"Cloud, I want to talk to you about what happened back there," Twilight explained, motioning towards the doorway. "Why did you do that? Sure, Rainbow was annoying but wasn't what you did a bit much?" I was about to answer her but before I could I heard a scream, and the white unicorn dashed over to us.

"Oh my stars, darling! Whatever happened to your coiffure?!" She asked. It was messed up by a cu-

"Oh, you mean my mane? Well, it's a long story. I'm just here to check on the decorations, and then I'll be out of your hair!" Twilight replied. Badum tish.

"Out of my hair? What about your hair?!" She started pushing Twilight towards a backdoor to the building.

"Wait! Where are we going?! Help!" Spike followed them, drooling as he stared at the unicorn. I followed him, bringing up the rear. Heh, rear. Oh for Realta's sake, not again.

I stopped paying attention for a while, and let my mind go on autopilot. When I started paying attention again, Spike was sitting on Twilight's back in a daze of happiness and Twilight was trying to get my attention.

"...Oud. Cloud!" She shouted, getting my attention. "As I was trying to say before, why did you act how you did towards Rainbow Dash?"

"I hate self centered plot-holes."

"But you completely overreacted! You were worse than she was to you!"

"Yes, I was. If you're gonna have a counter attack, you've gotta hit hard."

"But you'll get bad karma for doing things like that!"

"I don't believe in karma or fate, I just roll with the punches." Probably.

"But-"

"Stop starting sentences with 'but'."

"Ugh! Fine! Let's get this over with! Spike, what's next?" Spike cleared his throat.

"Uh, music! The last one!"

Finally... Why am I even going to the library? What book is gonna explain memory loss and waking up in a field? I could look up a memory erasing spell. See if the side effects match my condition. Ugh... 'Condition'. I make it sound like an illness. Am I ever gonna question thinking to myself like this? Probably not. I should probably start paying more attention, who knows what I've missed doing this. Do I think I'm insane? I mean really, this could be a split personality thing. Nah, I'll be fine. I stopped think-talking to myself and started paying attention again. A yellow Pegasus was obsessing over Spike.

"...Oooo cute!" She exclaimed.

"Well, well, well!" Said Spike, smugly looking at Twilight (who for some reason was sprawled on the ground).

"Oh my, he talks! I didn't know dragons could talk! That's just so incredibly wonderful I-I just don't even know what to say!" Twilight levitated Spike onto her back with telekinesis.

"Well, in that case we'd better be going!" Twilight started walking off. The yellow mare ran to catch up.

"Oh! Wait, wait! What's his name?"

"I'm Spike!" Answered Spike. Twilight started to look annoyed.

"Hi, Spike. I'm Fluttershy. Wow, a talking dragon! And what do dragons talk about?"

"Well, what do you wanna know?"

"Absolutely everything!" She exclaimed, looking excited. Twilight groaned, looking exasperated. I followed, looking... Damn it! What's another adjective beginning with 'e'?! Why am I asking me this?! It's not important! I'm going for the rule of three! It makes it look nice! What do you mean 'look nice'?! It's a thought in my head! The multiverse is endless! Somewhere out there there's an alien creature writing this story out from projections in his head that I'm sending him so-

The Hybrid Changeling looked up from his keyboard.

"Wait, what?"

"...and that's the story of my whole entire life! Well, up until today," Spike finished. I didn't know what was worse, the fact that we had been listening to this for two hours or that he had finished in only two hours. "Do you wanna hear about today?" For Realta's sake! Just stop! Why do I keep thinking Realta? Why am I asking me?! We're literally the same pony!

"...This is where I'm staying while in Ponyville and my poor baby dragon needs his sleep," explained Twilight.

"No I do- Whoa!" Twilight bucked Spike off of her back mid sentence.

"Aw, wook at dat! He's so sweepy he can't even keep his widdle bawance!" Spike gave Twilight the stink eye.

"Poor thing," said Fluttershy, picking him up and flying inside, "you simply must get into bed..." Twilight dashed in pushing Fluttershy out. I slipped through the door.

"Yes, yes," agreed Twilight, "we'll get right on that. Well, goodnight!" She slammed the door in Fluttershy's face. Spike glared at her as she walked over to us.

"Well, thanks for letting me in," I said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have research to do."

"Likewise. Now where's the light?" Suddenly the lights flicked on to reveal the room was filled with ponies.

"SURPRISE!" They yelled. Twilight and I both groaned. The pink Earth Pony from earlier today popped up in front of us.

"Surprise!" She exclaimed. "Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie, and I threw this party for you three! Were you surprised? Were you? Were you? Huh-huh-huh?"

"Very surprised. Libraries are supposed to be quiet," explained Twilight. I groaned again.

"Well, that's silly! What kind of welcome party would this be if it were quiet? I mean, duh, bo-ring! You see, I saw you when you first got here, remember? You were talking to each other and I was all," Pinkie gasped dramatically, "remember? You see I've never seen you before and if I've never seen you before that means you're new, 'cause I know everypony, and I mean everypony in Ponyville!"

Twilight groaned some more and walked over to a table with refreshments. She grabbed a bottle and started pouring herself a drink. I grabbed a bottle of cider. I have achieved nothing today... I must at least get wasted...

"And if you're new, that meant you hadn't met anypony yet, and if you hadn't met anypony yet, you must not have any friends, and if you don't have any friends then you must be lonely, and that made me so sad, then I had an idea, and that's why I went," she gasped again before continuing, "I must throw a great big ginormous super duper spectacular welcome party and invite everypony in Ponyville! See? And now you have lots and lots of friends!" The others we had met today popped up.

How much cider will it take to die from alcohol poisoning? I looked at the label on the bottle. It was non-alcoholic. Tears formed in my eyes. I had to suffer through all this and I can't even get wasted?

"Are you alright, sugarcube?" Applejack asked Twilight. I looked over to see that she also had tears forming in her eyes. She ran upstairs and I followed.

"At least there's plenty of books up here," I reasoned as I flicked through spell books. "Didn't you say you needed to research something as well?"

"I thought I'd have time to learn about the Elements of Harmony but, silly me, all this ridiculous friend-making has kept me from it!" She complained, rolling around in a bed.

"Uh... Sure. Hey, do you know what books would have information on memory spells?"

"Legend has it that on the longest day of the thousandth year, the stars will aid in her escape, and she will bring about everlasting night," rambled Twilight. "I hope the Princess was right... I hope it really is just an old pony's tale..." I sighed. None of the spell books I had checked had anything on memory altering spells, and now Twilight was talking to herself. Isn't that what I do all the time in my head? Yes, but I'm not crazy. Probably. Spike burst through the door.

"C'mon you two, it's time to watch the sunrise!"

"No thanks," I replied, looking back to the book I was holding, "I have stuff to research."

"What?! But you've gotta watch the sunrise with us, Cloud!"

"Why?"

"Because we let you into the library and you owe us!" I sighed.

"Dammit. Fine."

We went to Town Hall and Pinkie started talking again. This time I didn't even listen. Birds started chirping out a song, orchestrated by Fluttershy. A grey maned mare walked into the light of a spotlight.

"Fillies and gentlecolts," she announced, "as mayor of Ponyville, it is my great pleasure to announce the beginning of the Summer Sun Celebration!" The audience cheered. "In just a few moments, our town will witness the magic of the sunrise, and celebrate this, the longest day of the year! And now, it is my great honor to introduce to you the ruler of our land," Twilight looked stressed, "the very pony who gives us the sun and the moon each and every day, the good, the wise, the bringer of harmony to all of Equestria..." She paused dramatically. "...Princess Celestia!"

The birds chirped along to fanfare as Rarity pulled on a rope. Curtains pulled back to reveal... An empty stage. Ponies around me started whispering about their worries.

"This can't be good..." Stated Twilight. The spotlights focused back on the mayor.

"Remain calm, everypony, there must be a reasonable explanation!"

"Ooh, ooh, I love guessing games!" Exclaimed Pinkie. Oh for bucks sake, shut up...

"She's gone!" Rarity yelled, making ponies in the audience gasp.

"Ooh, she's good!" Said the pink Pony. Suddenly, Pinkie yelped. I looked back towards the stage the see a jet black pony wearing a misty blue coloured armour, with a mane like a misty night sky.

"Oh no..." Twilight whispered, "Nightmare Moon!" Spike fainted.

"Oh, my beloved subjects," 'Nightmare Moon' said with a silky voice, "it's been so long since I've seen your precious, little sun-loving faces."

"What did you do with our Princess?!" Yelled the air head. Nightmare chuckled.

"Why, am I not royal enough for you? Don't you know who I am?" If I had wings, they would be stiff right now... Now's not the time! It's never the time! "Does my crown no longer count now that I have been imprisoned for a thousand years? Did you not recall the legend? Did you not see the signs?"

"I did!" Shouted Twilight. "And I know who you are! You're the Mare in the Moon – Nightmare Moon!"

"Well well well, somepony who remembers me. Then you also know why I'm here."

"You're here to... to..." Twilight gulped and Nightmare laughed.

"Remember this day, little ponies, for it was your last; from this moment forth, the night will last forever!" She laughed as she cast dramatic lightning spells.

I have such a boner right now... Shut up, me! You shut up!

Author's Notes:

Revised 17/12/14.