“This is what I do all day,” Scootaloo said. “Just sit or lie curled up in a box. My life doesn’t have much detail to it.”

“Where do you get water?” camerapony #5 said off some paper he was levitating.

“There’s a water fountain at the park, so ever since the mysterious bottles stopped, I’ve used that. I don’t know what happened to the last non-mysterious bottle I had from the Crème, but I’m getting another one next morning anyway.”

“And that’s where you go for literally all of your water?”

“I get some with my breakfast.”

“Fair enough. Not that there would be an unfair answer to that. Well, I guess if you stole it.”

“Can I have the next question?”

“Your next question is... carry the zero... how do you survive on so little food?”

“I don’t need to eat much because I don’t really do anything most of the time. I’m just lying here all day.”

“Okay, this question was sent in by sikudahlu98: what’s your favourite flavour of Crème Crujiente doughnut?”

“I probably like the apple cider ones the best. The dichocolate ones are pretty good too.”

“Next question: why are you so racist?”

“I’m racist?”

“Just the kind of denial a racist would do.”

“I demand a quote.”

“‘I’m racist’ –Scootaloo.”

“That’s from after you asked me the question.”

“It doesn’t change the fact that you’re racist.”

“If you’re going to keep doing this, I’ll just stop talking to you.”

“Okay, for 10,000 bits, here’s the next question: do you clop to Rainbow Dash?”

“Who asked me that?”

“It’s on my list.”

“No....”

“Trailing off. Sounds like you’re lying.”

“I’m a foal.”

“So?”

“Not like a teenager, like a little foal.”

“I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt for now.”

“Is that actually on the list or are you just crazy?”

“It’s a little of both.”

“That doesn’t even—”

“Moving on, how do you feel about not being able to see Rainbow Dash for two to three weeks?”

“I was looking forward to it, but it’s not like it’s a regular thing for me to see her or anything. So I don’t lose anything.”

“How do you feel about the blockbuster film Your Girlfriend?”

“I haven’t seen it.”

“What?! I mean, okay, sounds good. Next question: camerapony #5 makes... hey, who wrote this one?”

Transcriber #2 raised her hoof.

“First you imdoorate the Sweet Apple Acres door and now this?”

Transcriber #2 nodded.

“Fuck you.”

Transcriber #2 shrugged.

“Is that what you want? Do you want me to fuck you? Because I’ll—”

“Look, I’m just sitting against this uncomfortable brick wall typing up the interview here, I don’t need you to do gritty rape on me.”

“Well, I don’t need your... blue... pegasus... um... yeah, your blue pegasusness. You look like you wanted to rip off Wonderbolt suits or Rainbow Dash but couldn’t decide which.”

“That’s racist.”

“So, Scootaloo, just a couple more questions. Have you ever stolen anything?”

“No, I’ve never gotten that desperate. The worst I’ve done is some annoying beggary.”

“You mean like pestering ponies walking by you all ‘Spare food?’?”

“Yep. I’m a foal and cute, so it usually works pretty well. Of course, the only thing on this random side street grid is a Crème Crujiente, so ponies don’t come by that often. But a lot of ponies in this neighbourhood know me, so, not meaning to mock them, but they think ‘aw, Scootaloo needs food, I should support her’, so they help sometimes.”

“I see. Next question. You’re so young, how do you know what CRTs are?”

“I don’t remember.”

“Okay. Final question.”

“Wait. Final question? You said there were a couple more questions two questions ago.”

“You know, ‘a couple’ doesn’t have to literally mean a couple,” camerapony #5 wrongly stated.

“Yes, it does. That’s what a few is for. Have you ever heard that word?”

“Look, xkcd did it first,” transcriber #2 said, “So can we just move on?”

“Final question,” camerapony #5 said, “What do you spend the most time thinking about when you’re curled up in your homeless pony box?”

“Mostly I act anxious about food, especially when I haven’t had any for the past day or so. I also have soppy thoughts about wishing Apple Bloom and/or Sweetie Belle were here, ‘cause I do get kinda lonely sometimes. Not that I’d want them to be in this situation, but you know. It’s not very often, but sometimes if it feels fun, I cry about it.”

“You should cry now, it’ll be good for the cameras.”

“No, it’s like, really rare. When I feel like acting soppy and I have nothing else to draw upon. But anyway, transcriber #2?”

“Oh. What?” transcriber #2 said.

“You look familiar, are you the same pony from my last chapter?”

“Yeah.”

“Not trying to be angry at you—okay, I am—but why were you so not wanting to talk with me?”

“You weren’t thinking about stuff. There’s nothing I actually hate about you.”

“You still don’t need my life coaching?”

“Still don’t need your life coaching.”

“Okay.”

Next Chapter: Chapter 112: Butterscotch Gets a Job Estimated time remaining: 10 Hours, 19 Minutes