“Rainbow?” Twilight said, lying on the lower bunk.

“We’re not having sex,” Rainbow said, lying on the floor.

“But we already said hi and agreed with each other about politics.”

“I just want a roof, so that’s fine by me.”

“So we’re not having sex.”

“That’s right.”

She gave her a knockout bolt, got off the bed, and enjoyed her Rainbow Dash doll. However, she got an interruption she didn’t expect.

“Twilight?”

“Oh, you’re awake.”

“I don’t mind if you have sex with me when I’m unconscious, but I don’t like to wake up to it.”

“Yeah, I know... I must’ve screwed up the spell a bit.”

“Well—”

She was knocked out again. She satisfied herself before Rainbow woke up the next time, and she spent the next few hours on Tuyau de Vidéos, referred to in most cases as TdV, the continent’s dominant video-sharing site.

“Wow, is it really that late? I... oh crap, Rainbow’s been unconscious for more than four hours. This could be bad.”

She teleported them outside Zecora’s hut and knocked, but she didn’t get an answer. She then decided to go in anyway, but the door was locked. She then shot an orange ray at the door, and it shattered into hundreds of splintered shards. She then saw that Zecora was asleep on the floor with only a pillow for comfort. She then walked up to her. “WAKE UP!” she said as she slapped her, which didn’t work. She then bowed and screamed the phrase directly into her ear.

“Nnn? Twilight?”

“I need you to fix Rainbow Dash.”

“Why do you need me to do that so often?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“What’s the problem?”

“I—she’s been unconscious for a few hours.”

“From what?”

“Does it matter? You’ve never needed to know that before. Why do you have all these questions delving deep into my ponial life?”

“Was it a blunt force, was it fainting from learning something really shocking....”

“It was an instant KO spell.”

“Okay. Do you have her?”

Twilight brought her in.

“Good.” She got up. “Let’s see, leaf of—where’s my leaf of the frunzos? If it’s not on this shelf... maybe I put it here? Okay, it’s here. It shouldn’t be over here.” She put a few leaves into a cauldron that was already filled with water. “Now go out of here and back in.”

She went out, came back in, and saw a conscious, standing Rainbow Dash.

“Hi, Rainbow.”

“Hi.”

She took them back to the treehouse. “You aren’t mad at me, are you?”

“Nah. Although I’d prefer if you didn’t knock me out instantly so I could enjoy it a little. Like, I like it when you strangle me.”

“I’ll do what I want.”

The next day, Rainbow and Applejack were talking.

“You’re kinda young to drink,” Applejack said.

“I don’t see you not drinking.”

“Yeah, but that’s different since... well, you still shouldn’t do it.”

“What else can I do tonight? Talk with my girlfriend? Get us out of this featureless white room Twilight trapped us in?”

“Ah just wanna know whah you suddenly have an interest in it.”

“I’m going to the bar where Vinyl Scratch works, I’m going to meet her, and I’m going to have alcohol and sex with her.”

“And they’d let you in because....”

“Because I’m Rainbow Dash.”

“Ah guess we’ll see. Now let’s figure out how to get out of here.”

“Maybe if I bang the wall really hard in despair.”

She went up to a wall and hit both her forehooves against it as hard as she could. A rumbling sound came from above, then the ceiling started to crack, then it caved in. Rainbow was knocked out and just about buried, with Applejack merely cartoonishly gaining a layer of dirt. She cleared some rocks off her girlfriend and turned her body face-up.

“What to do, what to do... mm... yeah. HEEELP!”

Twilight and Pinkie Pie were in a dense forest.

“Did you hear a ‘helllp’ from somewhere?” Pinkie Pie said.

“Faintly. Maybe it had something to do with the collapsing sound behind us.”

They both turned around. “Maybe the collapsing sound had something to do with that pit that wasn’t there before.”

“Maybe. I’ll go and investigate.”

Twilight teleported to the edge of the pit.

“Twahlaht! Rainbow maht be hurt!”

“This wasn’t supposed to cave in. You were supposed to find the secret door and have a wacky secretly filmed adventure. Anyway, I’ll take her to the hospital.”

“Can you get me outta here too?”

“Sure.”

She took them all to the hospital.

“Fix Rainbow,” Twilight said to the receptionist, putting her facedown on the desk.

She held down a button on the desk. “Peach Pie, please come to the front desk.”

Like magic, a nurse appeared in front of the desk. With no hesitation, she teleported back away, taking Rainbow Dash with her.

“Well, that’s done,” Twilight said. “Should I take you back somewhere?”

“Ah’d lahke to know what happened.”

“We can do those in either order.”

“Well, as long as Rainbow’s here, Ah guess Ah should go back home.”

She put them just outside the barn. “What explanation do you need beyond the secret filming?”

“Ah mean, we were already gonna be filmed. Whah not Rarity?”

“It was supposed to be a fun adventure for two of our friends. Rarity isn’t our friend.”

“Our?”

“Pinkie Pie was in on it too.”

“Okay. If Rainbow dahs, Ah’ll snap your neck if the universe is still around. That ain’t a joke.”

“You don’t have to worry, I’d definitely kill myself if I did that.”

“Have you... put thought into that before?”

“Yeah.”

“Ah’m goin’ insahde now.”

Not for the first time, Rainbow Dash unexpectedly woke up in a hospital. She had a sore back, but what concerned her more was what Vinyl Scratch was thinking and the fact that she would be in a hospital for a length of time she had no way to tell. The first thing that really happened was a peach-coloured pony with a brown mane and a white hat with a Star of Life coming in.

“You still alive?” she said to Rainbow’s roommate, hidden by a curtain. “‘Cause before when you were asleep, you were breathing.” She waited for a response and didn’t get one. “She’s prob’ly still sleeping.” She went to Rainbow Dash. “Oh, hey, you’re conscious.”

“Is Applejack okay?”

“She was never in here.”

“That’s good. When can I leave?”

“Now.”

“Cool.”

Everything was arranged again, and the next day, Rainbow finally got to meet her, this time at her house. Vinyl Scratch was watching a show that consisted of a single fifty-minute shot of a vacant swingset, only to be forced to decide between answering the door and watching it. If it was her good twin DJ-PON3 trying to lure her to the light side again, she wasn’t interested, but it could’ve been the package. She stressed over it for a few seconds, then went for the door.

“Hey,” Rainbow said. “After all this trouble, it’s good to vinylly see you.”

“It’s good to see you too. Come in.”

She did. “What the hell do you have on there?”

“The Swingset Hour.”

“The what?”

“It’s a shot of a swingset.”

“And that’s it?”

“Yes.”

“Do you watch it?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay... so do you ever take your sunglasses off?”

“Anypony who sees my eyes is instantly forever bound to my will.”

“Oh. Well, that’s all right, we can still have sex with them off. I’m on the side of evil anyway.”

“When did you turn evil?”

“Well, maybe not evil, more apathetic. Which is more like evil, I guess. Anyway, I already have sex with and obey the commands of...”

“Yeah?”

“...Of...”

“Who?”

“Of... Trixie.”

“Who?”

“No, it isn’t her. I have sex with and obey the commands of Twilight.”

“Holy fuck, really?”

“And Applejack. My main girlfriend is Applejack and my side one is Twilight.”

“Holy fuck.”

“If you tell anypony, you’ll be killed.”

“I mean, it was always a reasonable possibility, but... wow. Go away, I need a minute.”

She went away for a minute. “Rainbow?” Vinyl called.

“Yeah?”

“You can come back now.”

She came back. “Are you good now?”

“Yeah. It wasn’t the biggest shock of my life, but it was pretty good.”

“So are we having sex?”

“I’m ready when you are. Where should we do it?”

“On your bed.”

“I never expected you to be so boring, but okay.”

They went to the bedroom, which had a bed rear and centre, enough space in front of it for the arc of the door, a bedstand with a lamp, and that was it. The space between the bed and the side walls was just wide enough for a pony to walk down.

“This is your legendary bedroom?”

“Yeah.”

“I kind of expected things to be bigger.” They both went in and Rainbow closed the door. “I can’t even turn around.”

Vinyl Scratch climbed on the bed. “Come on.”

With an awkward twist of her body, she got on. “At least the actual bed is pretty big....”

“175 centimetres wide and 200 long. Those measurements mean something to me.”

“Why?”

“Because they’re the size of my sex mattress.”

“Do you have a non-sex mattress?”

“Yeah, I have another room I usually sleep in. I know, I know, why do you need two bedrooms. And the answer is I don’t. But when I met the pony who was selling this place, I got a pretty good deal, if you know what I mean.”

“You had sex with her?”

“What? No. I used my mind control powers, dolt. I kept in touch with her until I made her kill somepony and she ended up in prison.”

“Cool. So we still aren’t having sex yet.”

“What do you wanna do?”

“I was hoping you’d be the dominant leading one.”

“Leading one? We can’t just be equal?”

“That’s not how I do things.”

“Fine, I’ll be dominant to you. Very dominant?”

“Very dominant.”

“Very dominant?”

“Break the dial off.”

She lifted the sunglasses up. As the photographs showed, her eyes were red and really pretty, but seeing them in real life was something else. Comparing eyes to gemstones was a very overapplied thing, but it was genuinely how she felt looking into them, something she hadn’t ever felt for the eyes of any other pony. Even the eyes of Applejack, the apple of her eye, never struck her as even slightly vitreous.

“You okay?”

“Neh? Bwa?”

“I mean, I’m pretty used to this, but usually ponies don’t stare so long they start drooling. And you should be the last one to get caught up in that stuff anyway.”

“Sorry... I guess I just....” She hugged her. “You’re pretty.”

“You’re doing more of what I said—”

“Can’t I do something else for just one moment? Every time I try to do or say something fancy or emotional, everypony’s always like ‘oh, you can’t do that, you’re Rainbow Dash’. Well, why not? Do I have to constantly act as one-dimensional as possible to be considered normal?” She stopped hugging her. “Do I? I mean, I’m not completely changin’ my personality, it’s just that I’d like to express more than one type of thought my whole life.”

“I didn’t know this was a common thing.”

“I don’t know how you would, I just needed to get that out. Anyway, do what you like to me.”

She levitated her sunglasses to the bedstand and pulled Rainbow down from sitting to lying. After that, it was all bumps rolling around under a blanket and it was impossible to tell what was going on.

After some sex which, discounting the romantic element, was better than Applejack, they emerged from the covers and spent five more minutes kissing.

“You’re better than both my girlfriends,” Rainbow said.

“Thanks. You’re... well....”

“I know.”

“You didn’t suck. You were okay. Better than most of the random ponies I have sex with, although that’s not saying much.”

“I’m Rainbow Dash, I should be good at sex. Why am I not?”

“You made me happy.”

“Yeah, but you’re....”

“Don’t compare yourself to me, I’m the greatest. So, hey, is there a time you have to leave by?”

“No.”

“Then you’re staying overnight.”

“Okay.”

“‘Okay’?”

“Yes, Master.”

“That’s better.”

They had sex again.

“Rainbow Dash?”

“I’m right here.”

“I appreciate how you didn’t try to kill me after I hypnotised you. Usually I have to say ‘don’t hurt me, don’t go away’ really quickly right after I do it.”

“I’ll go outside and kill somepony right now if you want.”

“That’s all right. You do realise I’m going to use you for evil at some point, though.”

“Yeah.”

From that point onward, they didn’t have any more sex or talk about any evil plans. They met each other like normal people, slept together, had sex in multiple rooms, and then it was time for Rainbow to leave.

“Do you have to go?” Vinyl said as Rainbow went out the door.

She turned around. “There are more sexual partners who need me.”

“You mean the same two you always fuck? Come on, stay here.”

“Yes, and there’s a good reason for it. Worry not, for this won’t be the last time we meet.”

“I’ll do my best to stay happy without you....”

“You’ll be fine. You’ve done it before.” She flew off.

“Hey, Twilight!”

Not happy to be interrupted from reading in the middle of the top room, Twilight took her victim in her magic. “I am going to fucking rape you until you cry so much you faint from dehydration.”

“I was just saying hi,” Spike said.

She looked up from the book. “Oh, you’re Spike.” She dropped him. “Don’t worry, I won’t rape you.”

Rainbow Dash came in. “Hey, Twilight!”

Twilight threw her across the room and into the wall. She fell unconscious.

“Twilight?”

“She’ll be fine.”

Rainbow woke up within the hour. When she tried to stand up, she found that one of her legs didn’t work. “Twilight?”

“What?” she said, not looking away from the book.

“You broke my leg.”

“Fine.” She looked at her and teleported them to Zecora’s.

Rainbow knocked on the door once, then fell over. Wondering what the sounds were, Zecora went and opened the door.

“Twilight broke my leg.”

“Seriously, Twilight, what is this about?”

She put a hoof forward and made her horn glow. “Just give her the thing.”

Zecora and Rainbow went in, leaving Twilight to hear everything from the outside.

“Is that a syringe?”

“What does it look like?”

“It’s just that you don’t really use aaaah! Fuck. Fuck, is this right?”

“Your leg should be fixed in about ten seconds,” Zecora said over her patient’s rapid and very loud breathing. “This is much more reliable than the berries I used to use for broken legs.”

She hyperventilated for another second or two. “I... ah... okay, it feels better.”

“Don’t get up yet.”

“Okay... oh, wow, that feels kinda good. You know, it feels—aaaah!”

“Now you can get up.”

“Okay, thanks.”

She exited the hut on four hooves and they went back.

“Sex,” Rainbow said.

“In an hour, okay? In the meantime... I don’t know, it’s your time.” Next Chapter: Chapter 60: The Secret Meeting of the Inside Estimated time remaining: 13 Hours, 13 Minutes