“So lahke ‘some ponies golfed, the end’,” Apple Bloom said.

“Not miniature, golf episode,” camerapony #4 said, “Miniature golf, episode.”

“Oh. That sounds better. Ah wonder if that letter that wasn’t there yesterday has anythin’ to do with it....”

For reasons of plot, Applejack walked into the room. I don’t know which room “the room” is, but it’s not important anyway.

“Hey... sugar... cube....” said Applejack.

“Trahin’ to have character again?”

“Yeah.”

“Ah wouldn’t worry about it.”

“Hey, was that letter there before?”

“No.”

Applejack picked up the letter. “It says it’s for... ‘Applemac’.”

“That’s a pretty bad ship.”

“What’s your problem with me an’ Big Mac havin’ sex?”

“Incest.”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “Whatever.” She tore the envelope open with her teeth and took out the letter. “Dear Applejack Apple, you’ve been invahted to the first Programme Productions Miniature Golf Cup Series Championship at Snails Memorial Miniature Golf Course at Dapác. Sahned, your front door.”

“That sounds golftacular,” Apple Bloom said.

“Ah’ll look up directions an’ subsequently go.”

“Look,” Twilight said. “A letter for Rainbow.”

“I like how I get so many collateral appearances out of your contract,” Spike said.

“When she gets up, um... actually, I don’t know what would make her particularly excited about this letter—well, envelope, we don’t know what’s in it—so never mind.” Silence filled the air with catlike precision. “Do you feel like setting something on fire?”

“No. Why, do you?”

“Is that a problem?”

“What’s ‘something’?”

“I was mainly thinking of trees and other ponies.”

“Then yes.”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with the occasional urge to kill.”

“Well, if you carefully choose which ponies you’re killing like Big Mac fangirls do, that’s one thing, but just killing random ponies is another.”

“I disagree. It’s a political opinion so you can’t challenge it.”

Rainbow woke up and did boring morning things and went to the room with Twilight in it.

“Hi, –––––,” Twilight said. “There’s a letter for you.”

“Cool.” Rainbow took the envelope out of Twilight’s hoof and opened it without the use of a grapefruit. Inside the envelope was a letter, which Rainbow read aloud:

“Dear Rainbow Dash, you’ve been invited to the first Programme Productions Miniature Golf Cup Series Championship at Snails Memorial Miniature Golf Course at Dapác. Signed, you from the future.”

“That sounds golftacular,” Twilight said.

“Why would they bring me and not you, though?”

“I don’t know, but they must have something planned, right?”

“Yeah, but it just seems weird. Oh well.”

And so Applejack made it to the golf course with skill, strength, strategy, nerve, and just a pinch of love. She got her club and ball, waited for Rainbow, Rainbow arrived in the same way, said hi to Applejack, and did the same things. You know, I thought seeing all this extra footage previously hidden by commercials would be exciting.

“Ah don’ understand how we’re gonna do this with hooves an’ quadrupedalness,” Applejack said.

“Yeah... you know, Twilight didn’t get invited.”

“Really?”

“No, Rainbow Dash is lying to Applejack.”

“Well, you didn’t tell me about Twahlaht.”

“You didn’t think Big Mac was important.”

“Maybe we should just break up.”

“Fine. ...Please take me back.”

“Ah’m sorry Ah ever left you.”

They snogged for thirty minutes.

“Hey,” the pony in the little building said, “You can’t have sex on the property.”

“Is there a rule that says that?” Rainbow said. “No swearing, no hitting ponies with clubs, but nothing about sex.”

“There’s the generic ‘management may expel you for any reason’ rule.”

“Fine. Can you get off me, AJ?”

“Yeah.” She got up. “Where’s everypony else? Are we it?”

“It seems like there would be more ponies here.”

“That’s what Ah just said.”

“I was just agreeing with you.”

“Wanna get up?”

“Sure.” Rainbow stood up. “Everypony who they would’ve invited is close enough.”

“Yeah, so it seems lahke....” Then she realised it. “They set us up. There’s no mini-golf tournament, they just wanted us to do an Appledash chapter.”

“Well, there’s no way we’re doing that any more today.”

Silence.

“Ah’ll see ya for crazy passionate sex tomorrow,” Applejack said.

“I’ll see you for calm, passionate sex tomorrow.”

“Really? Ah mean, Ah know ponies’ sexual preferences don’t matter with the rest ah their personality, but... really?”

“What makes this a special case?”

“Fine, but you know it’s not as fun.”

“Well, sometimes I want something different.”

“We don’t do the same thing every tahme. Unlike what Ah’ve heard from you about Twahlaht....”

“That’s it, we’re throwin’ down.”

“Ah heard it from you.”

Rainbow slapped Applejack in the left cheek, which was countered with nothing.

“It’s your turn,” Rainbow said.

“Ah’m not gonna resort to vahlence to solve mah problems.”

“Fine. Bad day.”

“Adequate riddance.”

Rainbow flew away, whilst Applejack decided she might as well play a round of mini-golf.

Next Chapter: Chapter 145: Octavia and Pinkie Pie: Ultimate Friction Estimated time remaining: 3 Hours, 46 Minutes