Gathered at a court had Rarity, Zecora, Judgarini, a jury, and some other ponies who aren’t important in the context of this chapter.

“Court’s now, like, in session,” Judgarini said nonchalantly whilst doing something on her product-placed iPad. “Anypony wanna, like, make an opening statement or something?”

“Yes,” Zecora said. “You see, your honour, Applejack knocked out Rarity. Knocked out Rarity. That’s all she did. Ponies have KOed each other before and nothing has happened. I rest my case.”

“Wait,” Judgarini said, “So, like, all she did was knock out Rarity?”

“That’s correct, your honour.”

“Hey, jury, what do you think?”

The jury whispered to each other for a moment.

“We don’t see what the big deal is,” juror #3 said.

“The defendant should, like, be let out of jail,” Judgarini said. She banged the gavel. “Court’s, like, done.”

“I’m going to appeal this to the next court up,” Rarity said.

“Oh, come on,” Zecora said. “She knocked a pony unconscious. What if you couldn’t do that? Everypony would be in prison.”

“It is my choice and you will have to deal with it.”

THE NEXT DAY!

Gathered at a court had Rarity, Zecora, judge22001500, a jury, the Really Close Connection with Applejack Group (Rainbow, Big Mac, and Apple Bloom), and the Connection with Rarity Group (Sweetie Belle).

“The time is 3:13:37 PM,” judge22001500 announced. “It is time for the Equestrian national anthem.”

Twelve minutes later!

“Supreme final national unappealable because it’s the top level court is now in session,” the judge judged. “Zecora, please call the coin toss.”

“Edge.”

The judge flipped a coin, somehow. “The result is heads. Rarity, you may make an opening statement.”

“Thank you, your honour,” Rarity said. “judge22001500. Ponies of the jury. Ponies of the world. I ask you: if you go to a pony’s house and hit them with a lid of cast iron, knocking them out, should they be punished? I will answer my own question in this case: yes, they should be punished. The defendant should remain in prison. I rest my case.”

“I request permission to make a response,” Zecora said.

“I’ll allow it,” Ol’ Judgy, as his friends call him, said.

“Thank you, your honour. judge22001500 and ponies of the jury, it is true that my client, Applejack Apple, KOed Rarity with a cast iron urn lid. However, I ask you to consider this fact: ponies are knocked out by their friends every day in Ponyville, and nothing bad ever comes of it. For example, Twilight has magicked Rainbow Dash KOed dozens of times. Do we think she should be impenitentiaried for this? Allow me to provide an answer to my own question: no. Apple Bloom KOed and raped Diamond Tiara for being a jerk, and what did Applejack do? K Rarity O for being a jerk. There wasn’t even any rape. So how can you keep her in a penitentiary when ‘crimes’ of equal or greater value have been performed without being punitively punished? I rest my case.”

“I’d like to call a surprise witness to the stand,” Rarity said. “Sweetie Belle!”

Sweetie Belle went to the stand, as did Rarity.

“Is it true,” Rarity said, “That Applejack knocked me out?”

“Yes,” Sweetie Belle said.

“I rest my case.”

And so Sweetie Belle and Rarity returned to their previous locations.

“Your honour,” Zecora said, “I would like to make a statement.”

“I’ll allow it.”

“Thank you, your honour. Now, I would like to point to the case of Belle v. Pie and Error: field “familyname” has no value, in which Zecora and Pinkie Pie were brought to court for knocking out Rarity Belle and Sweetie Belle. They were not given any punitive charges, because it was not different from any of the other many KOings which were and still are taking place in Ponyville and, indeed, the majority of Equestria. This case is extremely similar: the defendant has simply knocked out Rarity and done nothing else to her. I rest my case.”

“Your honour,” Rarity said, “She did not ‘just knock me out’. She was taking me somewhere, likely to be beaten and raped, before she was caught by law enforcement. I rest my case.”

“You’ve heard both sides,” judge22001500 said to the jury. “Enter the private jury discussion room and make a decision.”

There was a spinny background and logo transition to virtually the same shot as before.

“We’ve made a decision,” juror #3 said. “We declare the defendant...”

Three seconds of silence followed.

“...Not guilty due to the jerk amendment.”

“But she was taking me somewhere,” Rarity said. “Who knows what she was planning to do?!”

“Yes, but this ignores one crucial point,” Zecora said. “You’re Rarity. And we must remember the jerk amendment: no one cares what happens to jerks.”

“Well, I’m appealing this decision to the next court. Wait....”

Three more seconds of silence.

“I’m moving to a country where they punish unprovoked acts of assault,” Rarity said.

A flood of “See ya”, “‘Kay”, and “Have fun”-type comments followed.

“Sweetie Belle?” said Rarity. “Did you just tell me to have fun?”

“Yes, I did, why?”

“But you’re coming with me.”

“But I want to stay here. I don’t have any friends in not here.”

“We’re moving to Pferdland and that’s final.”

“Fine, I’ll just live on a street corner like Scootaloo.”

“Fine! You’re a waste of money anyway!”

“I’m glad I’ll never have to see your somewhat literally fake face ever again!”

“I’m glad I’ll never have to deal with you always fucking with my fucking shit!”

“I’m glad I’ll never have to listen to you whinge to me about how much the world hates you ever again! Especially when your speech is constantly filled with comments about how awesome and genius you are. And how immature everypony... well, you know what, why you suck is well-documented. The point is that everypony hates you and won’t be sad to see you go.”

“But you’re my little sister and daughter figure! Won’t you be at least slightly sad about us separating?”

“I’m the one who wants us to be apart in the first place!”

“Fine. I’m glad I’ll never have to... well... I like you. Please don’t actually leave.”

Silence.

“Oh, um,” judge22001500 said before clearing his throat, “Court is now out of session.”

Zecora got about halfway to the door before getting tackled (not like that) by Rainbow Dash.

“Thankyouthankyouthankyou,” Rainbow said, holding her in an inadvertently like that way.

“Um... you’re welcome. You know, you’re Rainbow Dash, it doesn’t seem—”

“I love you, Zecora.”

“What?”

“Now we can finally talk for long hours and snog and have sex and—”

“What?”

“Um, in a platonic way, and ‘we’ are myself and AJ.”

“Oh.”

Rainbow got off Zecora and they both got up.

“Sorry,” Rainbow apologised sorrily, a sense of regret imbued in her sorrowful, guilty words.

“It’s okay. I’ll live.”

“So I’ll just be goin’, then....”

And so everyone left the building, except for judge22001500, who still had six more cases to go through.

Next Chapter: Chapter 142½: The Lost Episode Estimated time remaining: 4 Hours, 2 Minutes