“Behind this desk,” said the judge, Judgaroni, in a stereotypical boxing/wrestling commentator voice, “Weighing in at a total of 500 miles, Pinkie Pie and Zecora!”

The crowd and jury cheered wildly.

“And behind this desk, weighing in at a total of 7.9 reviews, Rarity and Sweetie Belle!”

The crowd and jury cheered wildly.

“Let’s get ready to rumble!”

They cheered wildly.

“I call a surprise witness to the stand!” Pinkie said. “Camerapony #3!”

“But I’m filming.”

“To the stand!”

Camerapony #3 and Pinkie Pie went up to the stand.

“Is it true,” Pinkie said, “That Zecora and I performed injuration, theft, or any other crime on Rarity and/or Sweetie Belle?”

“Yes,” camerapony #3 said. “Spiking anything is illegal.”

“Perhaps. But is this a just law? What loss did we actually cause them? Is this the end of harmlessly knocking somepony out for a prank? The end of being able to pinch somepony without getting charged for assault? I ask you—the jury—is this the end... of fun?”

“How would you pinch with a h—”

“What kind of authoritarian world would we live in if you could do nothing to a pony without asking them first? Ponies being jailed for innocent forced kissing is just one thing we as a society would be allowing if you let them win. I rest my case.”

Pinkie walked back behind her desk.

“Your Honour,” Rarity said, “The defendants claim that they did nothing to us. Nothing illegal. This is wrong. As said by camerapony #3 earlier, spiking things is prohibited by Equestrian federal law. If you, the jury, have any sense of justice, you will jail these miscreants to the full π years permitted by law. I rest my case.”

“You’ve heard what the teams have to say,” Judgaroni said. “You should now converse in the private jury room location.”

“OBJECTION!” Zecora said, banging once on the desk.

“Your Honour,” Rarity said, “You cannot possibly allow this right as the jury are about to be sent into the private discussion room.”

“I’ll allow it.”

“Thank you, Your Honour,” Zecora said. “You see... it was for science.”

Everyone in the room except Zecora gasped.

“I’d like to raise an objection,” Rarity said. “What science was this for?”

“We were testing the effects of generic knockout powder.”

“Generic knockout powder is already quite well-understood.”

“Perhaps, but I ask the jury, does it hurt to have more data points? Let me answer my own question: no.”

Judgaroni banged the gavel. “I declare the defendant...” for some reason, he trailed off, and everyone spent several seconds staring at him waiting. “Not guilty by way of science.”

Everyone in the crowd and jury immediately started talking with someone else in the crowd or jury.

Judgaroni banged the gavel again. “Order in the court!”

Everyone stopped talking and looked at Judgaroni.

“I hereby award the defendants one full acquittal each.”

“OBJECTION!” Rarity said.

“The decision’s already been made. Court is now out of session.”

No one talked.

“Go away,” Judgaroni said. Everyone began to leave.

“This is ridiculous,” Rarity said to her chosen talking partner, Sweetie Belle. “They spike our drinks and get no punishment whatsoever! What sick, lawless world do we live in?”

“Hasbro,” Sweetie Belle said.

“Don’t get snarky with me, Sweetie Belle. This is a blatant injustice.”

“Well, I think Pinkie Pie had a good message. Yes, there should be limits, but what would this culture be if knocking out your friends was illegal?”

“You’re seriously on their side? I don’t even know who you are anymore.”

“I’m Sweetie Belle.”

“Don’t do that.”

“You’re just grumpy because you lost.”

“Don’t do that.”

“Fine. I’m gonna hang out with my friends who actually understand me.”

“Fine.”

“You saved me from π years in jail!” Pinkie said.

“So will you stop bugging me about the poem?”

“I guess, if you really want. Oh, and I should correct myself, I think I would’ve gotten something like the silver ratio in years in jail.”

“What?”

“Well, I bought this book, ‘Reduce Your Jail Time By Up To 25%’, and it’s supposed to have techniques in it to reduce your jail time by up to 25%. But anyway, what’s important is that you saved me from years in prison. I couldn’t handle prison, man!”

“Um... you’re welcome.”

The sounds of walking, not silence, ensued for them. They went outside the building with a moderate sense of love and friendship (for Pinkie, strong, but she feels like that towards everyone), and made it only a few metres past the door before dialogue ensued:

“Sugarcube Corner’s actually that way,” Pinkie said in a rather sad, “the whole world is meh” tone, “So I guess I should go.”

“Okay. Bye.”

“Bye.”

The credits rolled, then there was a shot of Pinkie laying on her bed doing nothing. The door to her house... type... situation in Sugarcube Corner was knocked. She walked over to the door and, surprisingly, answered it.

“Hi, Carrot Cake,” Pinkie said, rubbing an eye and sounding generally tired even though it was barely past twenty.

“Hi, Pinkie. I just wanted to tell you that per your contract you’ll have to work tomorrow, since you spent the entire day at court.”

“Sounds good. I’ve got some news for you too.”

“What is it?”

“I think Zecora might be my love interest.”

Next Chapter: Chapter 128: Withstander: Corvidae Islands: Episode 8: What’s the Point of Withstanding When We’re All Going To Die Anyway Estimated time remaining: 6 Hours, 12 Minutes