“But Twilight’s cooking ramen!” Spike said.

“You can finish it yourself,” Twilight said, “It’s fucking ramen.”

“Nice parenting.”

“It’s called guardianing, Spike.”

“Whatever. Nice guardianing.”

Knock-knock!

“I will retrieve the door,” Twilight said.

Twilight got the door without going through the joke.

“Twahlaht!” said Rainbow in Applejack’s voice. “Ah’m in Rainbow’s body, ya need ta help me!”

“But this universe’s magic system doesn’t allow for that to happen.”

“Oh,” Rainbow said in Rainbow Dash’s voice. “Okay. Then I’m Rainbow.”

“Cool. So what did you come here for? Free lodging? To ask me a question?”

“You know why I’m here.”

“Well, I am not yesterday’s Twilight anymore. I don’t need to have sex every other day like some sort of... of... sex-addicted pony. You can take your teenage horniness somewhere else, because I don’t want it.”

“Okay.” Rainbow started to turned around and didn’t even get the apex of her first step in before Twilight pulled her back by the neck.

“Not really,” Twilight said somewhat hastily, “It was a joke, I’m sorry.”

“I know, I was just fucking with you.”

“Well, how about you literally fuck with me. Come on.”

“I haven’t done anything on Facebook in three hours, everypony’s gonna think I’m dead.”

“Fine. But make it quick.”

Eight minutes and 32.15 seconds later!

“‘Kay,” Rainbow said, “Now can you not rape me?”

“Sort of.”

“What do you mean ‘sort of’?”

“I was thinking sexual assault.”

“But I wouldn’t care if you did that.”

And as such Twilight did that. Spike was eating the ramen and watching. He said something, but he was simultaneously eating ramen so no one was able to make it out. After several minutes of snogging on the floor, Rainbow stopped, Twilight for some reason letting her even though the entire point was that she wouldn’t.

“Why am I attracted to you?” Rainbow said, her tone making it clear it was the romantic version of the phrase and not the literal, angry kind. “I get why I like AJ, but why you?”

“Because Twidash is hotter than Appledash.”

“You’re supposed to say ‘there are some things you just can’t explain’ or something, which is the opposite of what you said.”

“Because that’s so like me.”

“Well, I know, but... I thought maybe you’d wanna at least try to be all romantic.”

“I just wanna fuck.”

“No, I just wanna fuck. You have a romantic interest in me.”

“So do you.”

“Fuck, I forgot.”

“You forgot? Do you love me or not?”

“Yeah, I just forgot for a moment.”

“I’m not sure how I feel about that.”

“You can always leave me if you want.”

“I’m sure how I feel about that.”

They started holding each other and kissing again and blah blah love. Hey, Spike, you got anything interesting to say?

“Hmm,” transcriber #1 said, “Maybe if I say it to him instead of typing it, he’ll answer. Hey, Spike!”

“Huh?” Spike looked to his left. “What?”

“You have anything interesting to say whilst Twilight and Rainbow have boring happiness?”

“Not really.”

“Maybe we can just end the chapter here.”

Rainbow overheard it and stopped the kissing, holding unaffected. “Before we have sex?”

“It’s not like you won’t have sex if the chapter ends before then.”

“Well, I know, but... um... okay, I’ll admit it, I want ponies to watch.”

“We’ll still watch you, don’t worry.”

“Cool.”

Next Chapter: Chapter 117: Narration by Applejack Estimated time remaining: 7 Hours, 11 Minutes