“Rainbow,” Twilight said, “I don’t think sliced bread was invented by ‘Robert Sliced’.”

“It’s true!”

“It’s called sliced bread because of the word sliced describing the bread.”

“It’s true!”

“No, it’s not.”

“It’s true!”

“If you don’t stop, I’ll start making a bunch of geography puns.”

“It’s true!”

“It’s false.”

“It’s true!”

“Rainbow.” Twilight stamped her hoof for effect. “Shut up.”

“Fine....”

“Now, what is true is the word ‘rohwed’, meaning to slice bread.”

“You made that up.”

“It’s real.”

“Whatever. What’s important is when you’re raping me.”

“I can lodge you without raping you.”

“You can what?”

“I can lodge—”

“What the hell does that mean in that context?”

“I’m not explaining it to you.”

“Anyway, whatever it is, I’d like to see you try.”

“Lucky for you, you will see me try.”

Rainbow took a feather from one of her wings and held it out to Twilight.

“I’m stronger than that,” Twilight said.

“I won’t judge you.”

“I don’t need your fucking feather.” Twilight took the feather and tried to throw it on the floor, but it floated gently since it was a feather.

“You sure you’re stronger than that?”

“Yes.”

“I guess we’ll see.”

Two seconds later...

Twilight clutched her head, consequently falling to the floor. “I can’t take it anymore!”

“Come on, Twilight, you’ve done two seconds before.”

“But it’s so hard when you’re just right there.”

“Come on, Twilight. Be strong.”

“Strength was my dump stat.”

“Not literal physical strength, like mental strength.”

“Okay. I can maybe do that. Do you mean just rape or sexual assault in general?”

“Just rape, I guess.”

Twilight got up. “I think I can do that.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

“Luckily for you, you will see me try.”

“Look, I only have a finite number of feathers.”

“I know... hey, can I clop?”

“You’ve done it before.”

“May I clop under the terms of the challenge?”

“It’s not really in the spirit, I think.”

“Fine... can we still snog?”

“If you’re sure it won’t accidentally lead to sex.”

“Wait, I know! If I get Spike in the room, then I won’t do it!”

“I’m already here,” Spike said.

“Oh. Are there any other ponies... well, not necessarily ponies, but not people... you know what I mean. Anypony else here?”

“Yeah,” Apple Bloom said.

“Get out of my house, Apple Bloom.”

“Fine....”

And so Apple Bloom left without a parent or legal guardian to accompany her.

“Rainbow?” Twilight said.

“I’m still here.”

“Well, I can’t just say something to you without saying your name first.”

“What is it?”

“Have you sold that house yet?”

“I have a couple interested ponies, so it’ll probably be sold soon.”

“That sounds like it’s boring to you but not to ponies with attention spans.”

“It is.”

“Do you know where Apple Bloom is?” Applejack said.

“No idea,” Big Mac said.

“Don’t you mean ‘eenope’?”

“Eenope.”

“Wait, does that mean... anyway, Ah can’t find ‘er.”

“She’s disappeared before and been fine.”

“Ah know, but she’s always back bah twenty-two.”

“And?”

“An’ it’s 22:01!”

“She’s probably okay.”

“But if it’s not now, then when do we start to get worried?!”

“What would happen to her?”

“She could be dead right now! Somepony coulda killed ‘er!”

“I don’t think we should be worried.”

“We have to find ‘er!”

“I don’t think we should be worried.”

“She could be dead right now! Somepony coulda killed ‘er!”

Eventually, the loop was broken by a knock on the door.

“Ah’ll get it,” Applejack said, and so she did. “Apple Bloom! You’re alahve!”

“Er... hi?” She walked in without tripping and causing a national ban on wooden floors.

“You’re late, Ah thought somethin’ mahta happened.”

“Ah’m fine....”

“What made you come here so late?”

“Y’know, traffic.”

Silence.

“Ah thought that was good,” Apple Bloom said. “But anyway, the chapter started kahnda later than Ah expected.”

“Well, you’re safe now, that’s what matters.”

“Did you generically worry the whole tahme or did you actually look for me?”

“Er... Ah did lookin’ for a few minutes, but then Ah didn’t really know where to look since you weren’t at here....”

“And that’s how I plan to arbitrage my way into riches,” Rainbow said. “Can you help me get to the fourth dimension and back?”

“You can’t go to the fourth dimension, Rainbow.”

“How would you know, Spike?”

“It’s true,” Twilight said, “You can’t go to the fourth dimension.”

“Are you sure? No way?”

“It’s impossible.”

“With current magic?”

“It’s impossible. Laws of thermodynamics impossible.”

“Fine.”

“So... want some carambola juice?”

“Some what juice?”

“Carambola.”

“What the fuck is carambola?”

“It’s also called starfruit.”

“Oh. That has juice?”

“Yes.”

“Weird.”

“Is it?”

“I don’t know. I’m under eighteen so my idea of ‘weird’ doesn’t really mean anything.”

“Anyway, you want some?”

“How did you get it?”

“I don’t know, they were selling it at the Price✓Rong.”

“Then I’ll go there and ask the... um... well, it’s not like it affects my life anyway.”

“Sounds like somepony’s been eating sour carambolas.”

Next Chapter: Chapter 157: XTREEM GRAND CAÑON VAKATION!!! Estimated time remaining: 7 Hours, 28 Minutes