I don’t know how many times I’ve narrated a door being knocked in the last fiscal year alone, but it happened again, and this time it was Octavia’s.

“Hello,” Octavia said with a worried voice and accompanying nervous smile to the two oppositely-sexed and oppositely-personalitied policeponies at her door.

“We’ve received a report that you have cocaine inside your house,” the male policepony, Enforcy, said in the same voice that every other policepony possesses.

“Come in,” Octavia said. She got out of the doorway’s presence so that they could actually come in. She was still noticeably nervous despite the fact that she couldn’t think of anything illegal she had done.

Lyra came in because she heard hoofsteps and wondered what was going on. She went up to Octavia.

“Hello, Lyra.”

“Octavia? Why are there police in our—well, your—house?”

“Applejack thinks I’m keeping and using cocaine here.”

“That’s strange. Why would she think that?”

“Because I knew its chemical name in that fanciness contest with Rarity.”

“The one where you almost won the provincial youth title?”

“No, the last one.”

“Oh. Right, I remember that. How did you know it, anyway?”

“I learnt it on a wiki walk and just happened to remember it.”

“I see. Is that what you told her?”

“Yes. She didn’t believe me.”

“That’s strange. Why wouldn’t she believe you?”

“I don’t know. She’s typically pretty trusting of other ponies.”

“Yes. I wonder how that happened... are you crying? Why are you crying?”

“You made me think of how I lost the provincial youth title.”

“Oh. I’m so sorry, I swear I didn’t mean to....”

“It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean to remind me of anything.”

“But I did. I need to be more careful.”

“It’s my fault anyway, I shouldn’t be crying about it, especially this long after it happened.”

“I would support you, but I actually agree that that’s kind of pathetic of you sometimes.”

“Thank you for being honest....”

“I’m sorry, but... I really don’t want to lie to you.”

“No, I like that if you have a problem with me, you’re the type to say so.”

“That’s good, since it’s what I’ve been assuming for years.”

“I’m trying to find a way to say how much I love everything about you that’s not horribly cliché, but I can’t find anything.”

“It’s okay. Hey, you’re still crying a little.” Lyra wiped the tears from her face. “Do you need to snog? Yes, you do.”

It only lasted for five minutes, which is obviously really short, but okay.

“Te amo,” Lyra said in an attempt to be fancy.

“Je t’aime,” Octavia said.

“Was that French? That sounded like French.”

“Yes, that was French.”

“I hate you.”

“If you hate me, we can break up.”

They kissed again for a minute, which was pretty much the opposite.

“You know what we need for this?” Lyra said.

“What?”

“We need to be on the floor. Everything’s hotter when you’re not standing.”

“It doesn’t sound hazardous to our health, we should try it at least once.”

“It’s not like the floor’s dirty with how obsessed with cleaning you are.”

“I like things to be clean, is that so wrong of me?”

“No. I told you once, I like mocking you for things I like. Come on.”

And so they snogged for a couple minutes lying on the floor.

“This is all I want to do, all day,” Lyra said.

“Seriously all day?”

“I don’t want to eat or drink or anything. I just want to kiss you all day.”

“I think you’re only saying that because the pink mist descended on you.”

Lyra forced Octavia into another depressingly short kiss.

“You’re probably right and being all level-headed or something,” Lyra said.

“Thank you, I suppose.”

“I’m going to kiss you for at least five minutes straight,” she seriously thought this was a long time, “And I’m not going to let you go even if you need to breathe.”

“So you’ll let me pass out to show how much you love me.”

“That’s right.”

“Are you actually not going to let me—”

Lyra didn’t give Octavia a chance to finish her sentence before she resumed, which went on for a few minutes and in which they almost had sex by accident.

“I’m sorry I never let you kiss me,” Octavia said.

“It’s okay, you fixed that. Also, I think we should stop doing this, because we almost had sex there. That would’ve been really awkward.”

“I agree, we shouldn’t do this.”

“You only needed to say one of those, but anyway, should we get up?”

“I think we should.”

They got up.

“Do you have any idea how great of a pony you are, Octavia?”

“You’re better than I am.”

“No, you’re better.”

“I like you more.”

“You’re better.”

“No, you are better.”

“You’re way more sophisticated and classy than I am. Everypony could take something from you.”

“Well, you’re willing to actually have a little fun sometimes. I’m just this uptight stick in the mud.”

“Oh, way to make sophistication and properness sound bad. You’re better than me and you know it.”

“You can be too proper if you end up acting intolerant of less crazy ponies like I am.”

“Maybe we’ll just have to agree to disagree.”

“I suppose we will.”

They stared each other down for a few seconds.

“You’ll never want to have sex with me, will you?” Lyra said. “Because I actually have been wanting that for about a month now. Sorry if this seems a bit sudden, but just saying it without thinking too much is the only way I was able to tell you.”

“Do you have a problem with me not wanting sex?”

“No. But you better want it sometime or I won’t leave you because it’ll just make you more fancy.”

“So you don’t really care?”

“Why would I? There are no right or wrong answers for that sort of thing.”

“You just said—”

“I know. Hey, how long do you think this search will take?”

THE NEXT DAY!

Octavia was nomming on a sandwich when the female policepony, Denuntia, came into the kitchen.

“We’ve finished searching your house,” Denuntia said.

“How did it go?”

“We don’t have any evidence that the call was based on anything.”

“I see.”

“The caller will be given a two-hour prison sentence for wasting our time.”

“Sounds like justice.”

And so everyone realised that nothing actually happened.

Next Chapter: Chapter 126: Why You Don’t Mix Balloons and Bricks Estimated time remaining: 9 Hours, 25 Minutes