“It does?” Applejack said. “Cool.”

The official Sweet Apple Acres phone rang.

“Ah’ll get it,” Applejack said even though there was no one else in the room. She picked the phone up.

“Hello?”

“This is Agent D███. Your immediate presence is requested at base.”

“Understood. Ah’ll be there in three minutes.”

“You better.”

Π minutes later, Applejack arrived at the purposefulness-confused secret base. Rainbow Dash and Twilight were there.

“You’re late,” Rainbow said.

“Yeah, yeah, what’m Ah here for?”

“I’m thinking about admitting the huge love secret.”

“What? What made you turn around on this all of a sudden?”

“Scootaloo presented an extremely convincing argument.”

“What’d she say?”

“It’s gonna get out sometime, so it should be from us. And the rest of the world would be happy to hear that we’re finally together anyway.”

“Yeah, but there are two things they won’t be happy to hear.”

“Praytell such matters, fairest Applejack.”

“One, that they’ve been lahed ta forever. Two, that you an’ Twahlaht are together.”

“Ye fyrſt ſhalt happenen in eventuals. It will be best should we tell them ourselves. I admit that the second could be quite a shock to them, but we have a good explanation for it and I need not repeat it to you.”

“‘Kay, but what makes this a particularly good tahme ta tell ‘em?”

“As you apparently need to be reminded, tomorrow is the inaugural Secret Admission Day.”

“What?”

“Secret Admission Day and its opposite, General Lachrymosy Absence Day, were part of a solution proposed by a schoolteacher to fix Ponyville’s appallingly flat happiness curve. So, quat say you regarding ye proposal?”

“Ah think we shoulda admitted it a long tahme ago.”

“Twilight, quat ist thy vote?”

“I just don’t know when the right time is...” Twilight said.

“I just talked about how this time is right.”

“I don’t know... can’t we wait until August? Ponies will be happy to see anything at all happen in August.”

“Fine, then. We shalt begin on August the... um... eighth. On the eighth of August, all ye world shalt knoweth.”

“Why are you talking like that?”

“Talking like what?”

“With all the faux Old and Middle English stuff.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You know what you’re doing.”

“Seriously, I don’t know what you mean.”

“Whatever, it doesn’t matter. So the eighth day of August?”

“Verily.”

“Sure,” Applejack said.

“So should we leave now?” Twilight said. “This is the first time this has ever happened.”

“If either of you want to have sex with me or somethin’, I’m good with that,” Rainbow said.

“Sure,” Applejack and Twilight said in unison, “I don’t have anything to do.”

“Hey!” Applejack said.

“It’s been three days since I’ve had sex with her.”

“You know she loves me more.”

“It’s been longer, that’s what matters.”

“Ah have an idea.”

“What?”

“Ask Rainbow.”

They turned to Rainbow.

“I want AJ,” Rainbow said.

“Come on! It’s been three days for me!”

“One, AJ’s my first girlfriend. Second, I don’t feel like you today.”

“Come on!” Twilight went down and held Rainbow’s leg. “I need this, Rainbow!”

“Seriously, you need to go to a clinic or something.”

“I’ll do something for you.”

“That would be prostitution.”

“So? It’s not like it’s illegal. This is Equestria, summer home of freedom. And all we have is a transcriber in the corner there. That’s our only witness, and she’s not even going to say or release anything.”

“I’m not gonna do this.”

“Fine. I’ll just rape you, then.”

“You’ll have to get off the floor first. And I’m going to have sex with Applejack, not you.”

“Did you just call her Applejack?”

“Didn’t mean to. Anyway, go away.”

“Fine.”

She teleported away. Without a Twilight to view, Rainbow and Applejack looked at each other.

“‘Applejack’?” Applejack said.

“I’m sorry.”

“Ah’ll forgive ya.”

“I don’t have to beg?”

“Don’t. So wanna have sex now?”

“Sure.”

Next Chapter: Chapter 121: U-17 Hoofball Match Estimated time remaining: 9 Hours, 41 Minutes