Chapter 25: The Incredibly World Altering Pretty Pony Princess Meeting

“So…how did it go with Sunset?”

I asked the question as soon as Celestia appeared in my mindscape while doing my best not to look at anything on the nude woman’s body…and failing miserably. When you’ve got a perfect expression of western beauty standing in front of you with hair that could only come from a fantasy world or the greatest dye job in existence, you didn’t not look at every inch of her body. It would be…rude.

Especially if she didn’t actually care about being naked, and actually went out of her way to kind of shove said things in my face because she was a goddess and didn’t get human squeamishness. So it was obviously something she worked to either get rid of, or drive me insane with. I think she also found it funny to see me blush.

Not that anything she ever did was overly sexual either. But when a seven foot woman who is literally a goddess (no matter what the hell she says, if you raise the sun and live past one thousand you’re a fucking deity in my book) hugs you, freaking cuddles up next to you during a movie, or stands there playing with her newly discovered tits after turning into an overblown example of feminine sexuality, you don’t need to try and be sexy. You just are.

The goddess looked around at the mostly-same room that she had always appeared in for the last few weeks, then frowned at the pair of chairs and table with the board game on top of it. “Well enough. Now, what’s this?”

“I thought we’d try something different,” I told her a little nervously. Different as in not sitting next to a naked woman for the hour it took to get used to her being next to me. “I still have television stuff planned, but…it’s becoming kind of…monotonous. We show up, watch stuff I’ve already seen, and you comment on it.”

Tia shrugged and took her seat. “Oh very well,” she said before sitting down and…rubbing her but on the leather seat while I mentally kicked myself for not making the chairs out of something else of the non-animal skin variety. “Interesting material.”

“So um…do you have anything like chess in Equestria?” I asked. Pinkie Pie had shown me plenty of games with human counterparts and others that were pony only, but sitting around board games where you had to think for more than ten seconds really wasn’t her style.

The goddess looked at the pieces for a moment, and then back up at me. “I believe we have something similar, but go over how it works if you would.”

I shrugged, and then did as asked. As it turned out, Equestrians didn’t have chess. At least that’s what I got from Celestia’s reaction to the explanation of all the names, movements, and goals of the overall game. When I was done, the goddess leaned back in her chair, and smiled at me while I could feel a bit of…mischievousness coming from her.

“What do you think about a little wager?” she asked with a smirk.

About a million alarm bells started going on in my head over that. I mean shit, even if she had never even heard of the damn game before, Celestia was still a creature that could count her lifespan in millennia, ruled over a country for over a thousand years, and was probably older than anything else in Equestria, even counting the plants and the top layer of the mountains that had probably worn down while she sat on her giant ass.

On the other hand, she tended to crack under pressure by making really stupid decisions when the chips were down. So… “If I win you have to put on some extremely baggy clothes that completely hide your figure and cover yourself up all the way.”

What can I say? It was one of those offers I couldn’t refuse.

“And if I win…well, I’ll think of something, I’m sure,” she said.

I frowned at that. That was like making a blank check for…well…Tia wasn’t really the devil or anything, but…she was one hell of a troll. I could come up with about ten embarrassingly stupid things she could ask for me to do within the two seconds it took for me to make my reply.

“Yeah sure, whatever.”

It wasn’t like she was going to win anyway…

Ten minutes after we began, Tia put her knight down and smiled. “And that’s checkmate.”

My eye twitched, and I looked back up at the naked woman and her chest of plus four distraction. “It…you…that was… Just how similar is the Equestrian version of this game to the human one?” I demanded evenly with a frown on my face.

“Except for the fact that the main piece is a prince and the queen is a princess, they’re exactly similar,” she said with a smile as I glared at the lying woman. Which…wasn’t really true. Because of how the whole mindscape thing worked, you couldn’t really outright lie since we weren’t really ’talking’ to each other, but Tia was good at finding loopholes. “And leading with your king? Honestly my friend, political philosophy makes for bad battle strategy.”

I moaned and slumped in my seat. “Fine, what do you want?”

The smile on Tia’s face took on an almost Cheshire look. “Oh…I’m sure I’ll think of something,” she said before giggling as I cringed. “Don’t look so worried, it’s not as if I’m going to make you do anything regretful.”

“Fine,” I drawled out. “But seriously…what is it?”

“I told you, I’ll think of something.”

The day Equestria forever changed started out pretty good for me. I awoke snuggled up next to Twilight after going through several hours of conversation and a few movies with Tia. As well as a few more rounds on the chessboard which she managed to win. Just because I let her of course.

I was nice like that.

But the important thing was I was snuggled up next to Twilight after spending hours with an impossible hot woman from a culture in which personal space was considered a bad thing. After that, I was horny as hell and right next to the perfect outlet for my non-love related hunger that was actually kind of related to love in the fact that I did love Twilight, but I just didn’t need to feed off her at the moment.

I just enjoyed the moment for as long as I could before the little goddess moaned and shifted, telling me that she was awake and ready for the day. “Morning beautiful,” I said into her ear before giving it a couple of light kisses. “How’re you feeling?”

Twilight turned around a little bit more until she was laying on her back, and smiled at me. “Better than I was last night,” she said before giving me a little peck on the lips. “But that’s to expected since I just woke up and had a full night of restful sleep to lower my levels of stress and-why are you biting my ear?”

I took a second to suck on the purple pony’s protuberance before letting go and rolled on top of Twilight. “Because your mouth was running too fast to catch,” I said before kissing her on the lips. “Now how about we start this off with a nice little breakfast that’ll give one of us something to snack on, and leave the other feeling good all morning?”

Twilight let out a few breaths of a laugh, and returned the sensual smile. “Sounds good to me,” she said with another kiss. “It’s been weeks since I got you off.”

With the conversation taking that weird five-hundred and twenty degree turn that made my mind go in circles for a few seconds, I lost control of pretty much everything as Twilight rolled us over until she was on top, and licking her lips. The sensation of movement helped me regain my mind though. “Wait, what?”

Or at least my speech.

“It’s been weeks since I’ve been able to taste you,” she said before kissing me again on the lips. “I missed it.” Another kiss. “Plus, it’s the morning, I’m pretty sure I’ll have to pee soon and don’t want to stop halfway though to go to the bathroom because somepony is doing things to me that would cause a loss of bladder control.”

The logic at the end was what made me unable to come up with an argument.

As for the sex as a girl thing. Well…me and Twilight did it sparingly at best. Despite her alicorn libido that could have doubled for pony nymphomania as far as I could tell, I had only been on the receiving end of orgasmic pleasure…less than ten times in total.

Don’t get me wrong, nothing against sex as a girl and an orgasm was an orgasm, but…I was still kind of a closet girl…sex…receiver.

So…long story short, Twilight played me like a little trumpet, pushing all the right buttons and getting plenty of sound out the other end she was blowing into. I don’t know if it was because she really was a girl, or if the purple alicorn had been reading a book on the subject, but by the time Twilight was done with me and went to the bathroom, she had to come back to carry me in to the shower. Then I became her bath toy for an hour, and I think her lips cleaned me off more than the water did.

Then we had to start all over with the actual washing, and by the time we were done, Twilight’s hooves had actually managed to become a bit prune from being in the shower.

We met up with the girls and guy (ie Shining Armor) to have breakfast with the princesses. Thankfully, it was a private setting rather than the political seating nightmare from the other day, and I parked my ass next to Sunset, who sat next to Tia, with Luna, then Cadence and Shiny, who was next to Rarity, Fluttershy, AJ, Pinkie, Rainbow and Twilight, who was on my other side to complete the round table seating. For a second, I wondered if Tia had conjured the damn thing since it fit us all so perfectly and she was so into this big ten most valuable ponies kick that she considered social equals that she didn’t want to put anyone at the head of the table.

“So…how’d it go last night with Celestia?” I asked the physically youngest girl at the table.

Sunset looked over to me with a nervous smile. “Well, we’re still working things out. But…it went…good.”

Then, Twilight looked past me and chimed in. “What went good with Celestia?”

“Um…Celestia…decided to…adopt me,” Sunset explained nervously.

All the ponies at the table stopped eating, and looked over to the human. The attention made Sunset sink down a little, but she gave them all a nervous smile.

“There will be no ceremony or major show of it of course,” Celestia chimed in with a voice that just ripped with royalty-ness. “This is a family matter, and I’ll not have my daughter brought out to be picked apart by the members of court. Most ponies don’t even know of her existence beyond Ponyville, and after what happened with that pegasus, I do not wish for her to be seen as a way to…coerce me into anything.”

The fact Tia was even thinking about something like that both impressed and worried me. Although she had talked about Equestrian politics plenty, the goddess usually just complained about how much the nobility whined and made everything go so slowly. Devious plots of the non-rear end kind were never even mentioned. I really hoped she was just reacting to Sunset’s species shyness when it came to new ponies.

I raised an eyebrow. “So wait, it’s like a secret or something?”

Sunset chuckled nervously. “Like I said, we’re still working things out.”

On the other side of the table, I detected a bit of worry from Fluttershy. “So, are you moving back to Canterlot?”

A laugh and a headshake came from the former unicorn as she held up her hands. “No, still going to be living around Ponyville until I can get turned back into a unicorn. Then…well…we’ll see how things go.”

“Well congratulations Sunset!” Twilight chimed in. “I’m glad you and the princess were able to make a real connection. I mean, after all those things you said when we were working together-”

Tia raised an eyebrow. “What things?”

To which Sunset spun around and held up her hands. “Nothing! Nothing important!” she assured the goddess before looking around. “So how’s everyone else doing? Um…still working out Fluttershy?”

I watched as Celestia rolled her eyes, but continued to let the conversation get off its original track and onto a new one as she put on a ‘girl will be girls’ kind of smile. The others also managed to pick up on the hint, and soon everyone is going on about what happened over the past week with the princesses. Rainbow went on for ten minutes about a new practice course she was planning, Fluttershy admitted to the others about how she was still in training for the Equestria Games, and still excited about it. Luna got into a conversation with Rarity about some new Equestrian fashion rave in Canterlot that she didn’t understand, which the fashionista was delighted to no end to explain and end up with three orders from the goddess for dresses in said style fitted to her personal tastes. Pinkie said she needed to throw a party for Sunset and Tia, but agreed to keep it on the down low by having it at the Everfree Castle. Applejack grumbled a bit about work and how Granny was insisting they keep up their apple stand in town despite the fact they made more off of cider thanks to how they didn’t need to stand around for half a day, five days a week, doing nothing and but shouting ‘buy some apples’.

“Ah mean, Ah know it’s traditional and all, but…Big Mac says this is the first year we’ve done more than keep the farm from going deeper into debt,” Applejack said.

Celestia frowned. "Applejack, if you required monetary assistance, the crown would have been happy to give you aid considering-"

A second before Tia could finish, the farmer held up her hooves to ward the goddess off. “Well, we don’t really need the help no more princess,” she explained. “Not that I ain’t um…grateful and all for the offer.”

“However did your family fall into such financial trouble in the first place?” Luna asked. “You are the holders to most of the land around Ponyville, are you not? Should your family not be the most wealthy in town then?”

The archaic reasoning had me needing to style a groan. Despite Equestria’s...modern traditionalism, with its kind of 80s to 90s tech and old world values...the idea that land went hand and hand with money died off in the 1700s. But then, it was Luna that was talking.

Applejack cleared her throat and looked down at the table as she blushed. “Well Ah don’t rightly remember how things came to be, yer High-”

“Luna,” the goddess of the night corrected before Applejack could finish.

“Ehem, Luna,” AJ managed.

I sighed and opened my big mouth. “Despite the fact you’ve got a geographical monopoly on Ponyville when it comes to apples, the market of the small town is only six hundred, with a transient population of maybe three hundred during events like Cider Season. So the amount of ponies you can see to personally is rather limited.

“On top of which your family’s refusal to produce any other crops in massive quantities means that everypony else that grows fruits and vegetables can charge larger amounts for less food that they’ve grown of parcels of lands your family has had to sell of in the hundred odd years that Ponyville has existed to save the larger parts of the farm. Because of the competition, you have to make the one product you have more appealing by selling it for less, thus cutting into your profits while increasing your workload since you need to produce more to make up for the lesser cost,” I explained in a dry tone as everyone looked at me. “On top of which, because your family is everywhere in Equestria, you can’t try exporting your business to another town since it would be competing with them. Then there’s the deals with Filthy Rich’s family to provide them with apples at an even lesser cost that they buy en mass to make up for the fact you can only sell so much to Ponyville thanks to its small size, which he then ships around to Equestria, which of course still puts the apples you grow in competition with your larger family, but at no real profit to you. Not to mention the whole zap apple jam thing that he’s kind of screwing you with, what with your particular farm being the only supplier and all.”

By the time I was done, everyone in the room was just staring at me, while a few of the girls had their mouths hanging open. Applejack among them.

“Wait,” she said after quickly shaking her head to wipe her expression off. “Yer sayin’ the reason mah farm was in trouble is because Ah was so good at buckin’ apples?”

The question got another sigh out of me. There was a reason I never really explained such things to Applejack before. After all, in the mind of most ponies hard work went hand in hand with success. That it could also be detrimental was kind of a hard idea to sell. Hell, human farmers had trouble recognizing the same problem throughout history, but on a much larger scale.

So rather than get into an argument about it, I decided to slide into another topic, or at least turn AJ’s argumentative question into an agreement by simply nodding my head and talking about something else before she could ask how everything worked. “Hence why I worked out a deal with the cider production. Since most of the big city businesses, the bars and restaurants, just buy apples and produce their own cider, which cuts into the quality thanks to the fact the apples have aged a bit by the time they get around to making it. You’re able to find markets for your over abundance of apples by specializing in one product that’s superior to the average cider sold in restaurants,” I explained before shrugging a little. “Hay, you’re not even really competing with your family in the cider department since your comparatively low production ability means you can only sell via special order at a much higher price.”

Applejack just nodded slowly. “Always wondered why you insisted we charged ponies so much more than what we did during cider season,” she mumbled after her head stopped moving. “Not to mention just how the hay we were selling so much we’ve still got a backlog of orders.”

Rarity let out a little laugh. “Well like I’ve said before, I’m glad somepony with a little business sense managed to get an idea through that thick head of yours darling,” Rarity comment before turning her attention back to me. “Honestly, I tried to get the Apples to expand into other areas, but...well, you’ve seen for yourself how they can be.”

Then, with everyone still looking at me, got a little embarrassed and cleared my throat. “So um…what’d you and Shiny do after the whole song thing Cadence?”

“Um…” the goddess of love said with a stunned expression while Shiny got a little flushed in a way that told me exactly what she did with him after taking the stallion to her room to ‘recover’ like I had.

A wall of purple blocked my view of the other guy in the room that knew firsthand what an alicorn’s libido was like after a fucking rock concert, and I looked back around me to Twilight. “Uh, yeah Twilight?”

“What do you mean Filthy Rich is screwing Applejack?”

“Yeah,” Rainbow chimed in. “He’s not twisting him around or anything. You know...like a screw?” she replied to my confused expression. "This is one of those human things, isn't it? You're not really talking about screws."

Celestia cleared her throat. “Actually, if going by the human euphemism, in our culture it would equate to…Mr Rich shoving an alicorn-sized horn up the Apple family’s collective plothole.”

All the ponies winced. Sunset just facepalmed. “Good one Mom.”

Twilight groaned. “Princess, I knew what she meant, it’s not the first time I’ve heard the saying.”

“Oh well…simply trying to convey the meaning in the most understandable way possible Twilight,” the giant pony replied before she TK’d her morning tea up to her mouth to take a sip.

Cadence cleared her throat. “And on that note, I think we should be off to begin our princess summit. It was lovely seeing you all again. Um…Auntie, are we going to be done by lunch? I’d love to spend some more time with the girls before they head home.”

The head goddess looked over to me for a second, and then back to her adopted niece. “I don’t believe it will take that long to review the information and make a decision.”

“Oh Sunset, do you want to come and see the Crystal Gardens with me? They’re lovely,” Fluttershy spoke up.

Although I didn’t know if the ponies could read her body language, Sunset obviously got a little put off by the question. “Um…well…I need to talk to the princesses about all the information I-”

“I had my changelings review all the documents Sunset, including what you and Twilight went over,” I cut in to help her out. Unless of course she was trying to avoid telling Fluttershy no, in which case I kind of just cut off her only escape route.

Twilight giggled. “You really did want to show me up in front of Celestia, huh?”

I sighed and lowered my head. “Rather not think about it Twilight.”

She just kissed me on the cheek, and then all the attention was back on the human in the room.

“Right…about that then…”

Celestia spoke, cutting Sunset off. “I don’t mean to trouble you, but I would like it for at least three of you to be near my daughter at all times while she’s in the Empire,” the goddess told them before looking down at the redhead that was still sitting on her floor cushion. “I know I’m probably just worrying over nothing but…there might still be some misunderstandings concerning Sunset and…humans are much more fragile than ponies. Even a pony not meaning to do her harm could…especially in her weakened condition…she…”

As Celestia faltered, Rainbow flew up into her face. “You can count on me Princess. I’ll make sure nopony lays a hoof on her!”

“Oh, a-and me,” Fluttershy chirped in. "She can have my help looking out too, I mean."

“AND MY PINKIE SENSE!” the pink party pony cried out with a raised hoof, making us all look at her for a moment and kind of just killing all the conversation.

After a minute, Rarity looked over to the dark alicorn. “Pardon me…Luna,” she said before clearing her throat. Apparently Ms Prim and Proper still had a problem with calling the giant ponies by their names in private. “But…what exactly is it that you are having this summit about?”

Luna looked over to Tia, who took up the conversation after taking a look around the room. “Well…since it is all of you, I don’t see a problem in explaining things,” she said. “After my sister returned, she noticed an…oddity among the older members of Equestrian society.”

“How you couldn’t see it I’ll never understand sister,” the dark goddess said.

Celestia cleared her throat. “Yes well…I had to live with our little ponies for so long…I just didn’t notice it thanks to the passing of years and the gradual change.”

“Yet the obviousness of it…” Luna paused and shook her head with a tiny smile. “And here I thought you were supposed to be the smart one, and let me have my impulsiveness.”

For a moment, Tia got a sad look on her face, and then swept her gaze across the room and all of us. “As of late Luna, I think I am finding you are the wiser by far,” she said in a soft voice.

I cleared my throat. “Yeah, yeah…Luna’s both cute and smart, we get it,” I deadpanned, getting a surprised look from the alicorn of the night.

Which she was, cute I mean, in a super sexy kind of way. Where before Cadence had been hot, Luna was…absolutely beautiful. Everything about her was perfect, yet somehow without being untouchable. Plus, everything I knew about pony society, coat colors, and all that said Luna was advertised pretty much the perfect fun-loving girlfriend that would make a guy hard just from being in the same room.

Hell, just seeing her blush make me imagine what it would be like to be with her.

No! Bad bug-pony! I told myself. You’re with Twilight! You picked Twilight, you stuck with Twilight, you LOVE Twilight. Not Rainbow, and not Luna either. Don’t be doing shit that’s going to hurt her anymore than she already is! DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE!

“Right,” Twilight drawled. “So um…what were you saying Princess Celestia?”

The addition of her title got a raised eye from the largest of the goddesses, but she didn’t bring it up. “Tell me Twilight, what is the average lifespan for a pony? Assuming they have access to the usual medical amenities.”

Twilight thought about it for half a second it looked like. “Well there is some variation depending on the breed, and um…some speculation about an ascended alicorn’s lifespan,” she added hesitantly before looking at Celestia with a bit of unease. When the goddess didn’t say anything, Twilight just went on. “But…ponies usually live anywhere from seventy years for pegasi, to nearly one hundred when it comes to earth ponies, with unicorns falling in the in-between. Of course there are exceptions, but…those are the usual life spans.”

Rainbow let out a snort. “Yeah, because pegasi can barely fly after seventy. Let’s see how long a unicorn would last if their horns went out at forty.”

“In my day it was between forty and fifty for all of the tribes,” Luna said simply. “So imagine my surprise when I came back to find that eighty wasn’t just heard of, it was easily surpassed in several cases.”

Celestia took up the conversation again. “Now Twilight, how many major settlements does Equestria have?”

“Counting the Crystal Empire…eight,” she replied after whispering to herself a few names like Vanhoover, Fillydelphia, and Manehattan.

“I remember there being only six before I disappeared,” Luna said evenly as Tia looked over to her. “Not counting the Crystal Empire.”

The oddity couldn’t have been more standoutish to me if Luna had raised a giant sign saying ‘SOMETHING IS SERIOUSLY WRONG HERE’ in bold black letters. I mean, I knew Equestria was grossly under populated in comparison to America, despite them being basically the same size and what not. But even the U.S. could have boasted more than six major cities back in the 1900s. Hell, the country had had more than that when it became the U.S.

Okay, so there weren’t that many big cities in Equestria, I understood that. Ponies liked country living. Even with Rarity being in love with Manehattan and Canterlot as she was, still resided in Ponyville because she liked it in the one horse crazy town.

Twilight nodded with a pensive frown on her face. “Well, we do have several more small towns than when you were last in Equestria. I still don’t see what the problem is.”

For a minute, I wondered just how she had known that off the top of her head. Then remembered that the purple princess had gone through all the small towns before moving onto the major ones that…she said would have taken up a great deal more time than the smaller settlements despite there only being a few major settlements.

“Twilight, how many towns?” I asked.

The alicorn looked back at me. “Well, Equestria has about twenty small communities about the size of Ponyville…which is actually kind of under populated when you look at the others, to be honest. Although we’ve had…one hundred and five in all over the past millennium. Not counting the communities that never really got off the ground, or the ones that are waiting to start right now.”

I frowned. “How in the hay did we go from over one hundred to twenty? And what’s up with the small town stuff anyway? It’s like there’s either a big city or small town and nothing in-between, what’s with that?”

“No it’s not…well…” Twilight paused for a moment. “Okay, usually, a large group of ponies from one of the larger cities will get together and migrate to another location like with Appleloosa. That was started…what? Three years ago, Applejack?”

“Uh, two actually.”

Twilight nodded. “Right. Anyway, usually a group of earth ponies, or pegasi if it’s a town like Rainbow Falls, get together and move out to settle the land.Then other ponies move in once the infrastructure is in place and there’s a reliable food source. Mostly, it’s unattached mares and stallions since its as hard as hay for a pony to find an unwed stallion in the cities.”

All the girls had to nod in agreement to that, while Cadence piped in. “Well, unless you can pick one up while they’re still in school,” she said before nuzzling her husband.

“But even then it’s hard as hay,” Rarity grumbled.

Rainbow nodded and frowned. “Not to mention they’re so bucking immature as colts, or when they grow up for that matter. More trouble than its worth.”

I sucked in the side of my mouth and bit down hard. It kept me from laughing, rolling my eyes, or saying anything at all. I made a promise not to poke at Rainbow when I first got to Ponyville as long as she didn’t need it, and I intended to keep it. Everyone else just kind of…backed away from Rainbow Dash and found something else to look at.

Okay, that was...odd.

“…Anyway,” Twilight went on after the silence that statement caused. “Of course, there are also tax benefits and business opportunities in the small towns, but for the most part, they really are there to find a special somepony after the first generation of families have foals. By then, the infrastructure is made and everypony is ready to um…start looking for…well, a special somepony.”

I filled in the blanks. “Then they match up, move back to the big cities, and the process repeats. Leaving an even bigger gender inequality like there is in Ponyville, until the towns can’t sustain their own populations and ponies move back to the cities.”

“Or more unattached stallions move to the smaller town,” Pinkie chipped in.

“But with Ponyville being on the edge of the Everfree Forest…” Fluttershy let that little bit of information just lay where it was. Considering the town had its own personal disaster relief fund to tap into for reconstruction…I completely understood why no one wanted to be around the death trap that was Ponyville. Hell, the town probably deserved its own X many days without a disaster sign out front.

Pinkie could throw a party when we hit double digits.

I gulped, and asked the question that was just begging to be asked. Considering the timeframe that Tia had wanted Twilight and Sunset to look up... “Luna…about how many ponies lived in Equestria when you were last here?”

The goddess tapped her hoof with her chin. “Well, I wasn’t completely up to date on the full numbers, but…oh…maybe a million? No…maybe a million and…one hundred thousand, one hundred and fifty? That sounds about right,” she looked over to Tia. “Does that sound right to you sister?”

I didn’t bother to listen to Tia’s response. I just checked my mental files for a piece of MLP trivia that I had latched onto after completing the census. It was the fact that the total population of Equestria was about 3 million, not counting the tiny little settlements of less than one hundred ponies spread around here and there.

“Are you telling me that in one thousand years, your population has only grown by-” I stopped myself as the facts they had just talked about came to mind. With a doubled lifespan factored in, tripling the population wasn’t even that much of an increase. Ponies were just living longer.

Apparently everyone noticed my unease, and I glanced around the room before gulping.

Celestia looked over to me. “Is there a problem?”

I licked my lips like people like to do when they’re way too nervous. “Um…yeah…Celestia…we better get that meeting started now.”

It took an hour to get everything set up for the summit. Despite my good memory, I needed to check tons of facts back in the hive mind and write plenty of things down on paper to make sure I didn’t flub any statistics. By the time I was done, everything else had been set up, and the girls had long since departed to have fun while I went to the Equestrian equivalent of a hot seat business meeting.

After I got in the room, I looked around and noticed wasn’t anything special, at least not in the Crystal Empire. The room where the fate of Equestria would be decided was just someplace about the size of your average living room, made completely from crystal with a small rectangular table that all the princesses sat at. Honestly, I had been expecting some a little more formal, and larger.

Then, I presented my findings, and spelled out the obvious conclusions that they meant.

Twilight stared at me in shock, as if I told her the world was ending.

Mostly because I kind of just did.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE’RE DYING OUT?”

I winced at Twilight’s terrified shriek of a question as we stood in the meeting room that the princesses had chosen for the summit.

“Well, I wouldn’t go that far,” Tia cut in right before I addressed Twilight’s…loudness.

“Look, Twilight, you said yourself that the gender ratio for ponies is…five to one?” I asked, waiting for her nod to continue. “And a lot of families shoot for a stallion, but normally stop after the first four foals if they don’t get one. If a couple manages a stallion right of the bat like with your mom and dad, then it’s…usually two, right?”

She gave me another nod.

“Well…how many ponies have the resources to care for four foals? There’s got to be plenty that just stop at one or two,” I theorized to the alicorn sitting on the far left of the table, next to Cadence.

The alicorn rubbed her forehead. “How could nopony have noticed this before? How come we haven’t been…well…there doesn’t seem to be a shortage of ponies!”

Celestia sighed and lowered her head. “Because ponies have been living longer lives. A few are having more foals, but for the most part…the amount of foals being born has remained constant with a few rises and dips every now and then, correct?”

I groaned and slumped a little. “Tia, did you already know everything before you even told Twilight and Sunset to look into it?”

“Not in such detail, but…I took at look at the Canterlot birth records and found nothing wrong,” she said. “Until I remembered that Canterlot ponies can usually choose which gender their first foal is going to be thanks to the easy access to alchemical experts. Then I looked at Ponyville birth records and…noticed what might have been a problem. So I had Twilight and Sunset double check everything using information from all across Equestria.”

Cadence sighed. “Alright…so we have a…lack of stallions problem,” the princess said. “It’s not exactly news Auntie. Everypony knows a good husband is hard to find.”

Tia looked over to Cadence for a few seconds, and then to me. “How many ponies were born last year?”

I looked a my notes before answering. “About four-hundred thousand,” I said. When Tia frowned, I rolled my eyes and glanced at my papers again. “Four hundred twelve thousand, two hundred thirty three.”

“And how many died?” Celestia went on. “The exact number.”

Once again, I looked at some of the papers on the desk in front of me. “Four hundred sixty eight thousand, five hundred sixty nine.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “So…more ponies died than we born. It was a bad year.Not-not anything to get panicked about.”

Celestia looked back at me. “What was the discrepancy for the year before that?”

“Um…thirty five thousand, twenty eight,” I said after some math. “In the negative.”

“Was the year before that also a loss?” she continued.

A few seconds later, I nodded. “Um…yes.”

“And over the last ten years?” Tia went on.

That one took some time to answer. “Um…there was a total loss of…one hundred and fifty eight thousand, nine hundred and twenty two,” I said before looking up to see faces of barely restrained horror in Twilight and Cadence’s faces and found myself needing to find some ray of light. “Well um…that’s just…um…there are some other, really small towns that aren’t big enough to warrant a full count so there might be a few…hundred more births.”

Of course it wasn’t much of a bright light.

Overall, Equestria had about an equal amount of population, and truly settled land as America did during the Colonial Period. Ponies just spread things out a lot more. Despite the increased technology, the gender leaning counteracted the number of healthy males born. The tribes had probably managed to increase their population through cross-breed marriages when Equestria had been founded,with pegasi doing it with unicorns and such, but…from the looks of things, the pony population looked to be…kind of stagnant.

If the average family had four kids, with the chances of getting a guy five to one, I could see how the population might drop a little bit if it was just cold numbers, but something still didn’t add up. There was always the group that could beat the odds, and Twilight had mentioned the magical potions in Canterlot to guarantee a boy being born, so…there had to have been something I was missing.

Obviously the longer lifespan meant for more time to breed, so it was possible that ponies had started making five foals instead of four… With a pony like Twilight not noticing? I asked myself.

Unless four foals was the new normal, and the old average was around three. But that wouldn’t have allowed for any kind of increase over the years.

Cadence broke me out of my considerations. “This…this can’t be a continuing trend,” she said. “We can’t have been having less ponies born than died for more than a decade.”

“We would have had to of had a population growth at some time, right?” Twilight asked the other princesses. “At least to get us to where we are now.”

Then the purple pony princess looked over to the giant pony goddess. “Wait Princess, are you saying…what? Get to work on my um…gender solution for Fae and use it on ponies?” she asked hesitantly. “It’s not…the transformation is still only skin deep, with a few extra nerve endings to add extra...tactile sensations. I don’t think it would create um…reproductive organs that…produced…reproductive fluids.”

For a second, Celestia looked up at Twilight, then shook her head with a little laugh. “I had forgotten about that to be honest,” she mumbled. “But no…what I wanted to check was my belief that the total number of ponies in Equestria hasn’t really…increased as much as it should over the years.

“I know the loss of Luna would mean more…problems would cause the loss of life, but I had hoped we were…making up the losses of increased violence caused,” she admitted. “But from the looks of things. It seems we have an issue I had not considered, and it needs to be dealt with.”

Luna raised an eyebrow. “Sister, you know I can’t stand it when you’re cryptic,” she said before sparing a glance at me. “Besides, from what our friend says, our ponies are getting along fine enough. A decade of loss is regrettable, but…as there is a low tide, so to there is a high. There must have been to triple our numbers during my absence, despite the increased danger.”

The words made my latch onto an explanation. “Actually, that may be why the pony population has gone up over the years. At least a little,” I said, drawing the attention of the princesses. “Um…well, I don’t know how it really is with ponies but…with humans…a brush with our own mortality, like during a long stint of serving in the army kind of triggers an almost instinctive need to breed. To…leave something behind, or create a living legacy for after we die.”

But then, ponies are pretty different psychologically than humans. I’ve been around them long enough to figure that out. Although, you can live among them for a week and think you learn everything, when you’re laying mostly dead in the snow from the beating your mother gave you, they can still manage to surprise you by pulling you out and carrying you home.

“Interesting theory,” Celestia mumbled. “But, I called us all here today to fix this…problem. Hopefully without having to make several wars and increase the number of foals born thanks to ponies being made too aware of their mortality.” There was a smile on her face and the voice said that Tia wasn’t mad at me or anything, but I still felt as if I should have kept my mouth shut.

Once again, Luna seemed to be at odds with her co-goddess. “I see no problem to fix sister. Now that I have returned, the number of ponies shall even itself out and-”

“I don’t want them to even out Luna,” Celestia told her sister before her tone became worried. “Look at our world sister. The buffalo have been reduced to a single tribe, and the elephants have become little more than legend in these days. The diamond dogs are but a shadow of what they once were, and need I speak of the creatures that once roamed these lands when we were but foals? A thousand years have passed, and we have not increased the number of ponies in our land once age has been factored in. How long until our stagnant population becomes one of never-ending decline?”

Luna sighed. “And what is your solution sister? An increase in alchemical concoctions? Is that not…costly? If I remember correctly-”

“Nothing so roundabout, what I propose is…” Celestia paused, then outlined her plan, the reasoning behind it, and her projected outcomes. Despite the insanity that went into the foundation of it, the other princesses didn’t declare her mad and tell Twilight to help them send Celestia into the sun.

In fact…

Twilight’s eyes widened. “That’s an…interesting idea.”

Luna frowned. “Surely you are not serious sister.”

Cadence just sat there silently in deep thought.

I felt like banging my head against a table and had to settle for groaning before I spoke. “Are you kidding me?”

Tia looked over to me with a confused expression. “You don’t agree with my assessment?” she asked. “I’ve run the numbers and looked at the data. Everything seems sound. It will take a few years to catch on, but…what?”

Apparently my twitching eye managed to get noticed by the goddess. “That’s…you…” I grit my teeth and let out a breath. “That’s going to cause more problems than it’s going to solve Tia!”

“Not likely,” she replied. “After all, we are ponies, not humans. And you don’t get a vote anyway. So hush up and let the princesses do our jobs.”

I…well, if it were anyone else, I would have called them a stupid idiot and probably thrown a few things at them, but…Tia was my…um…really annoying dream roommate that I had to deal with every night. So I wisely kept my mouth shut to avoid personal problems down the line.

With me sufficiently cowed, she looked back to the others. “So, would anypony like to discuss my idea, or shall we put it to a vote as is?”

Cadence spoke up. “Um, yes…what if the…opposite were to happen?” she asked. “I mean, two…and one…you know…” Apparently, I wasn’t the only one having trouble wrapping my head around the idea Tia...copied.

For a moment, Celestia just looked at her, then nodded. “Well I suppose we can’t allow one without the other. Although as the years pass by, we’ll probably be seeing seven or more mixed groups.”

“Do you honestly think such a thing will catch on?” Luna deadpanned.

Celestia shrugged. “I don’t see what not. Now…shall I call a vote? Twilight? Do you have any objections or last minute changes you want to make to my proposal?”

The little purple goddess actually looked at me for a few moments out of the corner of her eye, then looked back to Celestia. “No…I’m good, and ready to vote.”

Luna cleared her throat. “Very well then, I say neigh! Tis too strange and new. I do not like it.” With that, she managed to sit back on her haunches and crossed her forelegs in what almost looked like a pout.

“I vote yes,” Twilight said a second later without any stumbles, making me nearly swallow my tongue. Thankfully, I didn’t think she noticed.

Cadence looked down the table at her adopted aunt, and frowned. “You do realize that Twilight and I will have to take part in all this if we are to convince the ponies of its correctness, right?” she said with a frown. “Me especially.”

“I was well aware of that, yes.”

The smaller alicorn groaned. “As much as I may end up regretting this…I vote yes. On the following stipulation, all parties must agree, and any new unions must be made with all parties involved, and then that’s it. You don’t just get to keep…adding on.”

A few seconds later, even Luna was agreeing to the added stipulations. The measure passed two to one, with the dark goddess still going against it, even with Cadence’s reforms.

With the issue apparently taken care of, the super important meeting degenerated into ten minutes of predictable girl talk, and I found myself wanting to be anywhere else by the time it was over. As for me, I was sworn to secrecy regarding the events of the summit, as Equestria needed to be informed of everything at the same time to avoid any misunderstandings.

Then came the other issue that completely hit me out of the blue. Hell, I didn’t even think Tia meant to bring it up except for the fact that I was standing right in front of her.

“Oh, there is one more thing,” Celestia said as the meeting began to break up, having long since degenerated into something government meetings shouldn’t be. “I know this isn’t why I called the summit, but…after yesterdays events…I do have another proposal to make.”

The second was even more horrifying than the first…and passed three to zero.

I felt like crying after that.

The rest of the day passed kind of in a daze. We met up with the other girls, talked, and Twilight let slip the good news about the summit that she was allowed to talk about. Rarity was ecstatic, Rainbow didn’t seem to care, Fluttershy was her usual self about everything, Pinkie wanted to throw another party for reasons that made me cringe, Sunset pointed and laughed, and AJ found it just as funny despite the fact she was able to hold back better than the human.

After lunch, Cadence put us on her personal train for Canterlot and Ponyville with the Crystal Mirror and a private sleeping car for each of us. By the time the sun went down, I was finally able to come out of my…funk, and just looked up at the ceiling of the car while sharing Twilight’s bed.

Still, I was so out of it, I didn’t even feel like sex.

That was how disturbed I was.

“I still can’t believe she did something like that,” I mumbled.

The covers rustled as Twilight shrugged. “Well it does make sense and I’ve got…wait, you mean Celestia’s plan to increase the pony population, or your elevation to the higher royalty?”

I groaned. “Twilight, just call them what they are, herding, and princess-hood,” I replied.

Honestly I don’t know which of the two disturbed me more. The whole polygamy thing was…I had gone over it with Tia and why it was considered a bad idea on Earth. Religious connotations aside, which was a mixed bag no matter which team you rooted for, the whole idea of multiple partner relationships just… Jealousy, and inequality, and all that jazz. Of course there were all the arguments against the arguments that were against polygamy, but…when it came down to it…everything I knew about the subject was rendered null and void by the simple fact I was dealing with another species.

Ponies weren’t humans, it was a fact they had proven to me several times before.

On the other hand, ponies had to have a human actually think up polygamy so…I doubted they knew how to deal with the idea all that well. For ponies, everything was all one true love. The idea that you could have three girls and two guys in one relationship...I didn’t know how they’d take it.

“Twilight,” I finally spoke again. “Why did you…agree to Celestia’s proposal.”

The little goddess snickered. “Well, you already have wings and a horn. You already have subjects a kingdom of your own…sort of. Plus, you’ve stepped up to defend Equestria twice, and in areas outside your jurisdiction. So why not call you a-”

A moan from me stopped her from talking. “I meant the other one,” I said.

I got a whiff of confusion coming from her Scent. “What was wrong with it? To be honest, I think it’s an interesting idea. We already have four mares for every stallion out there, and I know from talks with Cadence that it leaves a lot of broken hearts. If a stallion can be with more than one mare, everypony is happy and Equestria’s breeding potential is significantly increased.”

“And you don’t think this is going to cause some huge problem when a guy decides he likes one girl more than another?”

Twilight looked over to me with an even expression. “I have five best friends and you, and I manage to love you all equally. How is a stallion having two mares any different?”

I wanted to shoot back that there is an instinctual need and possessiveness in the female of the sex, but…that was humans. For the most part, pony relationship psychology was still a mystery to me.

The fact Twilight put me on equal level with the girls though…I didn’t know whether to take that as a complement, or an insult, or just be fucking terrified of what it could mean. The girls were supposed to be as close as family. Super close do anything for each other family. That she considered me in that little group…it put a bit of pressure on my shoulders I didn’t need.

So I just looked back up at the ceiling of our car.

And waited for Twilight to change the topic or that alicorn libido to kick in and start demanding some attention.

…

…

…

“So, when do you want to ask Rainbow Dash if she’s…agreeable to dating us.”

A minute passed.

I blinked at the ceiling.

Then, looked over to the mare with wide eyes.

Since you know, there was no way I could have heard what I just heard come out of Twilight's mouth.

“I um…what?”

Twilight gave me that look of hers that said, “I’m not blind Fairy,” she actually said to back up the look before she became all hesitant. “I…I know you like Rainbow…a lot.”

My heartbeat increased, and I gulped. “W-Wait, Twilight! I…you…” I got out before taking in a deep breath. “Twilight…okay, yeah, I like Rainbow…a lot. But, I picked you. I love you.”

Rainbow was the girl you hung out with, and fantasized about, and wondered what could be while not really doing anything with. Twilight was the girl you married. She was smart, cute, stable...in a social kind of way, and a little crazy so things wouldn’t get too boring. And that was that. End of story.

Twilight was the logical choice, and Rainbow was...Rainbow.

Twilight swallowed, and turned all the way on her side. “I know,” she replied before taking another deep breath. “But Cadence is right. She and I are going to have to…participate in these new marriage laws. And…Rainbow…

“Well, ever since she taught me to fly and we’ve spent more and more time together, I um…well…I can see a future with her...and you. The three of us, together,” she finished before licking her lips nervously. Then her eyes widened. “Oh, y-you’d be the stallion, of course. I um…now that we’ve gotten done with Celestia’s project, we can get back to work on Sunset, and I can fit time in for you again, magically I mean. Plus…wait, I suppose we’ll have to add another mare to make a full herd though. Um…any ideas?”

I went back to looking up at the ceiling. The possibility of trying to get Rainbow into a triangle of a relationship, never mind what Twilight was planning with another pony on top of that…it was starting to make me a little worried. I mean, me Twi and Dash? I could…see it…maybe.

Me, TwiDash and pony X?

That may have been pushing it a little too much.

In fact, I’d rather deal with a naked, gloating Tia as she tried to cuddle me into a lust filled insanity. “I think we should get some sleep.”

Twilight yawned at the suggestion. “Okay…see you in the morning, give my best to the princess.”

“Night,” I replied before kissing my pretty purple pony princess filly friend forever on the lips. Then she had me roll around until she was the big spoon, and I was out a few seconds later.

Unfortunately, changelings didn’t dream, and Tia was in a playful mood.