The five days after we got back from Rainbow Falls passed rather slowly.

On the first day, I woke up, took Sunset to Ponyville, met up with Twilight, flew with her back to the castle, left her alone to work on her project, and went to study magic by myself. We had a quick lunch and I got what was possibly the worst feeding I’d had since me and Twilight started dating before I went into town to see what was going on for a few hours and did my regent thing, picked up Sunset and spent some time at Fluttershy’s while they visited and I was stuck feeding the animals, took Sunset home and then went back to my own studies under her supervision while she worked on Tia’s project. Then Twilight left at nightfall.

On the second day, I woke up, took Sunset to Ponyville a little earlier so she could help Fluttershy with the morning chores, met up with Twilight, flew with her back to the castle, left her alone to work on her project and went to study magic by myself, had a quick lunch that was still pretty bad, supplemented my hunger with mirror clones, got blown off by Twilight in favor of her research, went into town to see Rarity for a few hours and judge ponies, picked up Sunset and spent some time at Fluttershy’s while they visited and I was stuck feeding the animals, took Sunset home and then went back to my own studies under her supervision while she worked on Tia’s project. Then Twilight left when night came.

The third day, I woke up, took Sunset to Ponyville a little earlier so she could help Fluttershy with the morning chores, met up with Twilight, flew with her back to the castle, left her alone to work on her project, and went to study magic by myself, had a quick lunch that was the worst ever, supplemented my hunger with mirror clones once again, got told by Twilight she was too busy to do anything when I asked, went into town to get AJ for some cloning, picked up Sunset and spent some time at Fluttershy’s while they visited and I was stuck feeding the animals, took Sunset home and then went back to my own studies under her supervision while she worked on Tia’s project. Twilight left after the sun set.

Day four, I woke up, took Sunset to Ponyville a little earlier so she could help Fluttershy with the morning chores, met up with Twilight, flew with her back to the castle, left her alone to work on her project and went to study magic by myself, groaned as Twilight skipped lunch and I just ate mirror clones, asked a purple pony who didn’t bother looking up from her work to respond to my questions if she wanted to do anything, went into town to hang out with Pinkie for a few hours, picked up Sunset and spent some time at Fluttershy’s while she gave the pegasus a massage and I was stuck feeding the animals, took Sunset home and then went back to my own studies under her supervision while she worked on Tia’s project. Twilight left after the sun set.

On the fifth morning, we went to Fluttershy’s and found her doing her usual routine…

“Up and down. Up and down. Up and down.”

I shared a nervous look with Sunset as we watched the yellow pegasus pushed herself up from the ground using her wings while a squirrel sat on her back to provide extra weight.

Fluttershy had apparently taken Dash’s orders to train hard pretty seriously. It had been some time since the qualifying rounds, and she was spending several hours a day trying to get in shape for the competition that was months away. Although considering with what happened during the whole Tornado Day montage and everything, I truly believed that if she applied herself, Fluttershy might actually of been able to hit average pegasus speed in time for the Games.

What I found impressive was that Dash wasn’t making her train. Rainbow had kind of lost interest in the idea of being Fluttershy’s personal trainer out of the need to keep in shape herself, and to coax Derpy into taking up the whole changeling double offer so the gray pegasus didn't have to give up time with her kids to play in the Games. So Fluttershy was actually getting up to work out without anyone else telling her to. She was even putting her animals on hold the first day we came by.

“Hey Fluttershy, you got a minute, we need to talk to you for a bit,” I called out when she got to her tenth wingup and began to falter.

“Just…one…more,” she managed before falling on her stomach. “Ouch!”

Sunset winced, and moved over to her side. “Hey, are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” the pegasus replied as she got to her proverbial feet and took a cleansing breath before she looked over at the two of us. “What’s going on girls?”

The two of us shared a nervous look, and then I took the lead. “Um…Twilight’s gotten the go ahead to visit the Crystal Empire and…we’re going to be going with her. So, I’m afraid the whole animal feeding that we’ve been helping out with so you can exercise is um…on hold.” And using changelings to do the work for us wasn't really an option. I think they still scared Fluttershy half to death.

Fluttershy got a little disappointed at hearing the news. “Oh…that’s…okay. You told me when Twilight sent the letter to Cadence after all.”

“We’ll be back in a few days, swear,” Sunset promised.

To which I had to add, “So I’m afraid no more help with the animals in the morning.”

Another spike of disappointment tickled my nose as Fluttershy took in a breath. “I understand.”

I waited around for a few seconds, then looked over to Sunset, and back to the guards I had following her around. “Escort Sunset to the train station and wait with the luggage.”

The human looked down at me. “But there’s still plenty of time-”

A look silenced the girl, and I inclined my head towards her guards.

As Sunset headed off, #619 spoke up. “Hey boss, are we gonna get food this time? Because you didn’t ship any with us when we went to Rainbow Falls and I was kind of starve-okay going now,” the disguised changeling said when I glared at it.

Although, it did kind of have a point. Note to self, have some McDonalds loaded for changing food, I thought. Big Macs weren’t the most filling Apple we had, but they were nutritious enough.

Fully alone, I turned back to Fluttershy. “Okay Fluttershy, what’s wrong?”

She flinched, and fear quickly went up to outpace her disappoint. “Wrong? Nothing’s-”

“I’m empathic, remember?” I reminded her. “The magic kind, which means I can tell what your feeling. So please don’t try and give me the same lines you feed everyone else. If there’s something wrong, tell me and…maybe we can fix it. I’m trying to help you here.” It came out a little grumpier sounding than I would have liked, but a week getting the shaft from Twilight was kind of getting to me.

Not that I was a clingy...changeling-friend, but when a girl comes over to your house to read papers...it tends to get annoying.

Fluttershy’s nervousness skyrocketed, and I was starting to wish I had kept my mouth shut. After waiting a good three minutes, she finally spoke. “No you’re not.”

That…

Okay, that kind of made me stop. Just…stop.

“Um…it…wait, what?” I managed as my brain tried to process what I had just heard.

For her part, Fluttershy just pulled back on herself and hid behind her mane. “I…I know you don’t like me,” she went on. “I know the only reason you come here is to walk Sunset through the forest, and…that you’re mad at me because I wanted to join Rainbow Dash’s racing team.”

“Oh…um…okay that’s um…” I managed to uh…manage.

It was like…I’m not exactly sure how to describe what was going through my mind at that moment because, it was just…huh?

I felt as if…well…people always talk about how the most evil kind of people in the world like to kick puppies. When Fluttershy said that, I kind of felt like I had just woke up and realized that’s what I had been doing for the past several days.

The logical side of my mind jumped up in my defense and said I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings, and I was right for not wanting her in the race with Rainbow because she majorly sucked when it came to her speed. Then, when it won out over the emotional side of my brain and declared kicking puppies wasn’t all that bad a thing to do, I kind of just stood there.

My brain just lurched along, and I could only just barely think of something to say. “Well…no…I’m not really mad at you,” I mumbled. “I mean, Dash talked to me, and…I guess if I’ve got to say I’m upset at anything, it would have to be this weird…disconnect there seems to be between the two of you.”

Fluttershy looked over at me in confusion. “Disconnect?”

I reached up to scratch my head, and then realized I had hooves half-way up before putting the foreleg back down. My nights as a dreamy were-human were starting to give me bad habits. “It’s…okay…I know you and Rainbow have been…drifting apart lately,” I told her, which got another spike of sadness from the pony. “And I know, some of it…maybe even a lot of it is because I’ve been doing my best to hang out with her.”

“I know I shouldn’t be upset about it,” she mumbled. “The things she does with you…and Twilight sometimes…I just…I wish I could do them too. But…” she looked down at her exercise gear, and sighed. “They’re not really for me.”

“So…why’d you want to join the Games?” I asked. The biggest athletic event in Equestria, with all the ponies watching her and pressure to perform really didn’t seem like Fluttershy’s cup of tea. In fact, it was like anti-tea for her.

Fluttershy sighed. “I wanted to…show Rainbow that I could do those kinds of things with her too,” she went on before half-hiding behind her mane again. “And um…well…there was a…tiny, tiny part of me that…got excited about it.”

“Being in the Games?”

Still in her half-withdrawn state, Fluttershy nodded. “There are…um…well, I don’t really like exciting things but…when they’re over, there’s this rush of a feeling in me, and I feel really good even though what happened was scary. And then I thought about the Games, and how they’ve got all those ponies around to help if something goes wrong, and I just…um…well…I thought it might be…fun.

“But, I know I’m not the best flier so…I’m…doing what Rainbow Dash asked me to. I-I don’t know if I’ll be good enough in time for the Games, but…”

Well crap, I thought to myself as Fluttershy just stopped and looked away from me. Considering my face was in restrained pensive mode, she probably thought I was holding back some disagreements with her. “That’s actually…pretty responsible of you Fluttershy. I’m impressed.” I honestly was too, and...it really is hard to be mad at anyone that’s actually trying their best. Not the whole, 'I’m not going to do any preparation at all best' but actually putting time and effort into something.

Fluttershy looked over at me. “Well…I did hear you…back at the hotel room when we were in Rainbow Falls,” she said. “And if I want to spend time with Rainbow Dash, doing things she wants to do, then I need to make sure I can do those things instead of just…letting her carry me through them.”

I winced. “Sorry about that,” said the insensitive jerk that was me. “I um…I’m just very protective of Dash.”

“I am too.”

We just stared at each other a bit, and I cleared my throat. “And…um…I’m sorry if it seems like, I’ve uh…been avoiding you lately. It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s just…um…” It actually took me a few moments to put what I was trying to say into words.

“Look, I’m from a completely different world where tons of things work differently, and I used to be human like Sunset.”

Fully out of her shell constructed from her mane and coat, the pegasus nodded. “Yes. I remember that. I’ve been talking to Sunset a lot about how animals are in the human world. What she says is very confusing. Why do you have animal shelters, but then not take care of a lot of them?”

I just thanked God I had been around Sunset and Fluttershy enough for the past few days. I didn’t really drop in on their conversations, but Sunset was kind of loud for pony ears when she got going.

“Oh…that, um…well…” Once again I had to pause for a moment. My explanation needed to have a nice G rating. “For the most part, animals where I come from get along fine by themselves. We also have pets of course, but it’s mostly just dogs, cats, a few people have rabbits or turtles, but it’s nothing like…well, you and your bear friend…or the snakes, and birds are just kind of a thing you can put a feeder out and watch.”

Fluttershy brightened up considerably at that. “Oh my, that’s nice of you. The birds must really appreciate it,” she told me. “But where you’re from, it’s like the Everfree is…everywhere?”

I half-shrugged. “More or less. I mean, we have farms with cows…for the um, milk,” I kind of explained since pony's didn't need to know about our bovine death camps. “But…nothing with like what you’ve got.”

Then, I looked around for a moment. “I guess one of the reasons I try to um…avoid…you…no offense,” I added as quickly as I could. Of course there was also the reason I found Fluttershy the hottest piece of tail around and…hell, I could get a pony with a timid, will of jello personality like hers in bed without mind control. Hell, she up and Stared down the vampire fruit bats after saying no to the whole idea, even though the little pony didn't take the Stare lightly.

“What do you mean?” Fluttershy asked.

I sighed. “It’s just…well…okay, let’s try this… I adore Luna, but that whole night sky thing she does…it’s just so different from the basic fundamentals of how I know the universe should work that I tend to stay the hay away from her to keep it from ever being brought up. With you…it’s not as bad, not nearly, but…when I come around here and see a bear hanging out with a rabbit,” I had to pause for a second to think of how to say what I wanted to without confusing Fluttershy or upsetting her even more.

Which was of course another reason I tended to avoid her. Twilight, Rainbow, Applejack and Rarity would call me on saying something stupid. Fluttershy, and to a lesser extent Pinkie tended to just let me kick them in the proverbial crotch and suffer silence. Which wasn’t really silence, since I was a changeling and had the psychic sniffer thing going on. She'd get upset and wouldn't say they were upset and...it was like pulling teeth to talk to Pinkie when she was down.

“I have to choke down years and years of knowledge that says bears are to be avoided,” I finished without adding ‘or use my newfound magical powers to blow him up’.

Fluttershy looked thoughtful for a few seconds, and then turned her attention back to me. “So, you’re still adjusting to being in Ponyville…or, Equestria, I mean,” she told/asked me. The question was obviously rhetorical, because she just kept going on after she nodded to herself. “I can understand that. It took me a long time to get used to living in Ponyville, and…well…you’re not even from Equestria. I’m sorry, I just forget that sometimes.”

And stop apologizing for everything, I mentally commanded her in the non-psychic way. Seriously, it’s one of the most fucking annoying things in the world, and I can’t get mad at you for it because you’ll just fucking cry! “No it’s um…I’m the one that needs to make the adjustments.”

A shake of her head told me Fluttershy didn’t think she conversation should be ending there. “No, I should have been more considerate,” she said, obviously thinking something was wrong if the distance between us wasn’t her fault. “It’s just you know so many things about everypony, I sometimes forget you’re still new here.”

I sighed and just let her have the guilt. My inner hero didn’t get off the couch for people who weren’t at least trying to save themselves, and I was still holding onto some resentment to another pony thanks to what had been happening all week. “So um…are we better?” I asked. “I mean…I know…we’re not…um…”

Hell, when it came down to it, I didn’t even know how to talk to her.

Fluttershy apparently picked up on what I was trying to say, which made one of us, and nodded. “I understand. And…I think so,” she said before pausing in thought for a moment. Then, she got this kind of…hopeful expression on her face. “Oh! Um…next week, I’m going to western Equestria for a seminar on breezes, and I remember how Twilight said you were very interested in Equestrian wildlife when you first got here. So…I was wondering…um, if you would…like to come? And…maybe ask Sunset too?”

Well, if she was offering an olive branch, it wasn’t like I could refuse or anything. “Um…sure,” I agreed less than wholeheartedly. “But um…what’s a breezie?”

“Well, you remember when you made Rainbow Dash really tiny and cute?”

After getting all the extra luggage and happy meals loaded, I caught up to Sunset and apologized for the whole forcefulness thing and Fluttershy's trip. She was kind of put off by it considering it would cut into my time of learning how to turn her back into a quadruped, but agreed to go along anyway if I brought some studying materials.

Then we went into Twilight’s private car and I had found she had gotten the interior redone, despite the short amount of time it had been idle. Ponyville’s quick refurbishing and rebuilding business had made a few changes to the interior to reflect its new passenger needs as well as a few minor improvements.

There was still the six bench seats with places to sit front and back, allowing for twelve to twenty four ponies to ride in the car, depending if they sat laying down or doggy style. Although, they had been raised up half a foot, and an armrest had been added to the isle area. A few obviously intentional grooves had also been made in the floor between the seats, although what they were for I could only guess. The other adjustments though…I was pretty certain a taller than the average pony bipedal creature would be much happier sitting down than she usually was.

There was also two creatures waiting for us inside. The bigger purple one smiled as we came in, but the smaller one with more scales frowned at our appearance. “Oh, you’re bringing her along?”

“Spike!” Twilight scolded him.

Spike looked back at her mother/sister/owner/employer that never paid him anything unless you counted the gems, in which case he was way overpaid. “Twilight, she’s evil! She almost-”

“Go check the bags,” Twilight ordered as she pointed towards the princess car’s rear door to where our private luggage and sleeping car was attached.

As soon as the dragon was gone, the pretty purple pony princess turned back to look at the two of us and gave a nervous smile. “Sorry, he’s just…sore about stuff.”

I had to fight the urge to glare in Spike’s direction. No need for his fucking owner to get mad at me for being angry with her dumb animal. I was having enough cold shoulders from the purple pony as of late.

“No, it’s alright,” Sunset sighed and sagged, which made me clench my teeth.

“Has he been like this since Sunset got back?” I asked in a grumble. My time at the library since then had decreased significantly to something approaching nil. There had been one night about…maybe two weeks ago when Spike had been out of town and we finished a date in the library but other than that, it had been pretty sparse.

Hell, I had barely seen Spike at all since I stopped being Flash Sentry. Even the gems he got from me were via Twilight, when she picked up a few on the way home.

Twilight sighed and nodded before she took a seat one of the cushioned benches and I laid down next to her before we had our forelegs meet and she gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. That and the Smell coming off of her told me I wasn’t going to like her answer.

“Why do you think I go over to the castle to work since Sunset and I made up?” the alicorn asked with a sigh. “I…may have even let Spike’s animosity affect my thinking when I was…upset with Sunset’s return.”

Equestria’s lone human let out a low moan and slumped in her seat. “I can’t really blame him. I did kidnap him after all.”

The sight of Sunset getting her mood killed again ruffled my feathers. Especially considering just who was the one doing the down putting. The same creature that had kept me from actually sleeping with Twilight for the past couple of nights and made me come out of my Tia companion coma to be greeted by an empty bed.

Yeah, despite the ‘plans’ to talk with Spike, Twilight had taken the whole idea to do it in the northern Empire to heart. So after several days of doing nothing, followed by a few days of crystal correspondence for Twilight to get permission to visit the Crystal Empire from her own fucking sister-in-law, we were finally getting to go.

Several days of falling asleep without Twilight beside me. Several days of waking up without Twilight next to me. Several days of having to study magic that wouldn’t do a damn thing to help Sunset while all I got to eat was some zebra clones and a little snack from Twilight at lunchtime because she didn’t want to be too tired to get through the rest of the day. So after a fucking week of near starvation, no contact with Twilight outside of business luncheons where I got her off but next to nothing in return, and not a single fucking word about her plans to do anything about trying to make us a closer couple, I was pretty fucking apathetic towards the girl and her wants for me and him to get along.

Screw Spike’s feelings when it comes to me and Twilight, I told myself with a snort before coming up with a counter-character assassination. “Oh please, like he’s one to judge,” I in a grumble before looking over to Twilight. “How much property damage and endangerment did he cause we he let his greed run amok?”

Sunset got a little curious while Twilight winced. “He did where in the what now?” the redhead asked.

“Princess Celestia paid for the repairs,” Twilight said in a sad tone. “And…gave the ponies who wanted to move away twenty percent above the appraisal price for their homes.”

That caught my attention. I didn’t know any of the ponies in town had decided to run off. But...I guess there was a big difference between living next to the Everfree, and having a ticking time bomb of a monster in town beside you.

Somehow, being the talented bug-pony of a person that I was, I managed to feel vindicated, interested, and guilty all at the same time as I looked over to Sunset. “You were alone in a world with no magic, where you didn’t have jack after Tia kicked you out of the only home you’ve ever known,” I told her before the proverbial voice in my head said I probably shouldn’t have mentioned that last part in a grumble. “And now you’re trying to get free of that, turn yourself into a better pony. So ignore stuff like that. Especially when it’s coming from creatures that, despite being surrounded by loved ones and told not to do something, still go through with their indulgences.”

Twilight cleared her throat and talked to me in a cheerless tone while she Smelled of emotional pain. “Okay Fairy, that’s enough. You made your point.”

Needles to say, the day section of our trip to the Crystal Empire was less than super-rifficly fantabulous of an enjoyable ride.

It turned out the grooves in the floor where to place the pegs of tables that might as well have been TV trays with their size. Thanks to the seating, we ended up playing a very long game of pony scrabble using teams, with me and Sunset set against Twilight and Spike. Of course we had to switch things around, and I ended up sitting next to the human instead of being able to grab a few minor caresses from Twilight, but I was used to the lack of real intimacy in favor of her just giving Spike a glorified nightlight.

Of course, things were tense the whole day. There wasn’t any fighting or screaming or anything, but I didn’t need to hear anything to know how everyone felt. Twilight was upset, Sunset was down, Spike was angry, and considering that I could detect the later two’s emotions even while in pony form, when my sense of Smell is so strongly attuned to them that I can’t shut it off kind of out of whack when it came to other species, it was some pretty heavy depression, which just pissed me all the more off at the dragon. Then, the time came to hit the hay and the four of us went to get some sleep. Unfortunately, the sleeping car we were using was made for ponies, and while the dragon could sleep in it just fine, the human looked a little cramped.

But my bed in the wall wasn’t much better, half of it was taken up by an irritable alicorn that wanted to lay on her back rather than be involved with close physical contact. I managed to get her into a fetlock lock, but Twilight didn’t turn over or anything.

“You didn’t have to be so rough with Spike, Fairy,” she told me shortly after I climbed into bed.

I let out a sigh and looked over to Twilight. “Twilight, after four days of bliss being together with you in Rainbow Falls, being able to be with the mare I love, I have to go back to getting a quick nibble and cuddle at lunch,” I told her. “All because he doesn’t want me…what is it with him anyway? I mean, okay…I get the no sex thing at the treehouse, he still sleeps next to you and has some abandonment issues, and he woke up and you weren’t there and…I get it. But I was in the castle before Sunset came around.

“Ever since then, the library has been a no relationship zone, and I’m just wondering what the buck is going on,” I continued. “I know I’m not the best special somepony, and I ran off for four days and lied about who I was, but…I’m the one with the relationship problems that you fix, and you’re the one with the personal problems that I can solve. That’s our…thing. It’s how we balance each other. And I’m just wondering what the hay is going on when you’re the one who’s bringing relationship problems to the table.”

Twilight sighed. “I don’t know,” she mumbled sadly.

“Have you talked to him about us?”

“No.”

I groaned. “Well why not?”

“He doesn’t want to go to the changeling castle so we can all talk, and…well…I don’t really know how to bring the topic of you up with him,” Twilight went on.

“Um, he does know we’re together, right?” I asked.

Twilight snickered. “Yes, I think he may have been able to pick up on that,” she said before rolling over towards me. “Can you just…try to be a little more accommodating?”

The question made me tense. “And how am I supposed to do that?”

“W-What?” Twilight asked.

“We already don’t sleep together, or spend time with each other most mornings, especially since we got back from Rainbow Falls. You come over for lunch and we have some cheap sex, and I can’t believe I’m actually saying this but, that’s a bad thing. At least when we had it,” I told her. “Our last real date was two weeks ago when Spike was out of town and you didn’t have to run back and eat the dinner he was preparing so his feelings wouldn’t be hurt, and I know I am sounding like the needy fillyfriend here, which once again is just sounding wrong and freakish considering I’m supposed to be the guy in this relationship Twilight, and I know I don’t have much of a right because I ditched you for four days but…what else do you want from me?”

“Just…give him some time, okay?” she asked.

My rather focused ant-Spikiness let out a resounding NO at the words and I felt like hitting something, but after a nice long intake of breath, I managed to not get up and slay another dragon. “You gave me time,” I told myself more than Twilight. “And I have kind of ignored the issue so…fine, okay. You can have all the time you want.”

To be honest, it pissed me off. Fuck love and tolerance and all that shit. More often than not, I spent my day doing Twilight's job, then helping another one of her friends out with her job, then going through the motions learning magic with Sunset because it knew it was all a waste of time that I was just doing to give her enough time to get used to being stuck as a human, and it was starting to become annoying that I wasn't getting anything out of it.

But oh no, I couldn't tell Twilight that.

So I rolled out of our little hole in the car's wall.

“Fae. Where are you going?”

“Where I belong apparently!” I snapped back at her, ending the conversation before it could continue when I went into the cargo hold where the other changelings lay unresponsive in stasis.

It was a little after sunrise when we got to our destination.

The Crystal Empire looked in much better shape than the last time I had seen it. Of course since the last time I had see it the place had been recovering from a changeling invasion that my mother had spearheaded while under the effects of what was probably the second most powerful mystical artifact in Equestria, the bar had been set pretty low. So instead of seeing frightened ponies huddling in their homes, I was greeted by a roaring crowd of ponies that were so disorganized in their cheering, I couldn’t even make out what they were saying.

Although, it took me about two seconds to figure out what was going on. I looked over to Twilight and smirked. “Well, it good to know some ponies in Equestria know how to treat their heroes,” I told the alicorn as we got off the train with Sunset trailing behind us.

I couldn’t help it. I was still pissed off as hell at her for all this fucking give Spike everything shit she was pulling, but...the fucking alicorn princess deserved some God damned recognition considering she had risked life and limb to save the Empire from Sombra.

Twilight blushed a giggled a bit at the attention before we took a second to look at the signs.

Welcome Oh Brave And Glorious One!

“I don’t think all those words should have been capitalized,” Twilight mumbled before her eyes darted to another banner of a sign while mine followed suit.

THE CRYSTAL EMPIRE WELCOMES ITS ONE TRUE CHAMPION AND SAVIOR!

That one got a few blinks of confusion from me before I leaned over to whisper to Twilight. “Uh…I thought the whole Sombra thing was a team effort with them buying you time to get the job done.”

“It was,” Twilight mumbled back to me.

ALL HAIL HE WHO SAVED THE EMPIRE!

That sign made me blink. “Wait…are they talking about me?” I asked myself when he met up on the platform when Sunset walked out. “I mean…sure Tia and the girls would have gotten mangled or something, but I’m pretty sure getting my plot kicked for ten minutes before I got in a lucky shot doesn’t really classify me as a hero.”

“To me it does,” Twilight said before she gave me a light nuzzle, making it a little harder to remember I was mad at her.

Then Twilight’s servant exited the train while lugging her saddlebags over his shoulder while three crystal ponies managed to push their way past the guards and to the edge of the platform.

“Look! There he is!”

“Oh my Celestia it’s him!”

“I wanna have his foals!”

I quickly hid behind Twilight before the mob of screaming naked women could do unspeakable acts of depravity to me. “You know I wanted to be called a guy again, but…I’m starting to think this is a bit much.”

Aaaaaaaaaand then, everything started to go insane.

“SPIKE SPIKE SPIKE!”

“Huh?” I managed.

“SPIKE SPIKE SPIKE!”

Twilight cocked her head in confusion. “Say what?”

“SPIKE SPIKE SPIKE!”

“Twilight…what’s going on?” I asked.

“SPIKE SPIKE SPIKE!”

“I’m…not sure,” she replied.

“SPIKE SPIKE SPIKE!”

We got behind our escort and walked towards the castle at the center of the city.

“SPIKE SPIKE SPIKE!”

Except for Spike of course, I had to jump aside to keep from being run over by a palanquin…twice, once for coming, and one for going. Thankfully my guards were there to carry our bags.

“SPIKE SPIKE SPIKE!”

But of course that didn’t stop the mob from trying to rupture my eardrums with their inane chanting.

“SPIKE SPIKE SPIKE!”

And of course as soon as Spike left, the tidal wave of the crowd decided the road no longer needed to be sectioned off and quickly surged to block us.

“SPIKE SPIKE SPIKE!”

The mob of ponies (or herd?) stretched from the train station, all the way to the crystal palace. Apparently, Spike was some sort of big hero in the Crystal Empire because he carried the Crystal Heart for a few feet…or fumbled the damn thing before Cadence got it on the recovery.

There was even a giant statue of him that looked about three times the size of your average pony outside the place holding the damn thing in one hand. We saw it after a good two hours of wading through the crowd of fucked up fans that actually thought Spike was worth something.

Two.

Fucking.

Hours.

And no, Twilight didn’t want to fly, because we’d be leaving our escort to the mercy of the mob.

So, we walked a little, and waited a lot, and walked a little, and waited some more. For two fucking hours.

Didn't matter that some of us were royalty, or Twilight had some business with their princess, or anything else, oh no. The bunch of wannabe earth ponies just wanted to get in our way to celebrate Spike for some reason I didn't want to know about while I got stuck with a girl that would rather have her nose in a book than talk to people, and a borderline danger-zone depressed human. And when you were plenty pissed off at a purple pony princess, two hours flt like forever.

But, we did get to our destination, eventually. “Okay, would some pony around here mind telling me just what the hay that was all about?” I asked as we made it into the palace and the door closed behind us to keep out the insanity. And by that I mean the ponies screaming Spike’s name like he was some kind of hero instead of Twilight. Even as irritated as I was at her, I wasn't about to not give the little goddess her due.

While a new guard approached, I found myself looking around the rather large entrance hall that the guards had brought us into before saying we needed to wait inside for Princess Cadence.

The crystal-ness of the crystal palace could not be overstated. It was actually pretty cool looking, like something out of Frozen, only the natural designs and multi-layered surfaces went beyond anything that CGI could match. Plus, it was a hell of a lot more colorful, crystals of all colors were splayed throughout the place to give color to the walls, floor, and everything. Thanks to the thickness of it all, nothing was transparent, and I could see my own reflection in pretty much everything except for a few crystals that were so opaque they didn't even give a reflection, but those were a rarity.

The first room was big enough to double as a parking garage floor. The layout consisted of some fancy star designs on the floor, and four large double doors made from opaque crystal that were each flanked by a pair of crystal pillars were arrayed in front of us at about ten feet intervals, while a pair of stairs led up to the second floor of the palace was set between them all.

“You mean you don’t know about the Brave and Honorable Spike, the Brave and Glorious even though you’re traveling with him?” an orange pegasus in golden armor that drew Sunset’s attention as soon as he opened his mouth. “I’d be happy to tell you all about it and even show you at the state dinner the monument Princess…um…I can’t seem to remember your name. And…why is your flank blank?”

I didn’t let Flash finish speaking and dropped my disguise before giving him a level stare. “I trust this is sufficient explanation?”

Oh how I wish I had been trying to get a read on the pegasus’s emotions at that moment, because the way his eyes just widened in fear and he let out this ridiculously girlish scream. “Changelings!” Flash shouted as he rose into the air in gold old unbridled terror. “Invasion! Changelings! THE CHANGELINGS ARE ATTACKING! ALL GUARDS TO ARMS TO ARMS! GET WORD TO THE PRINCE AND PRINCESS THE CHANGELING’S ARE ATTACKING!”

I laughed at the reaction and turned to Twilight with a smile on my devilishly demonic face that showed my fangs. “Oh look Twilight, Flash remembers me.” Or at least had enough psychological trauma left over for the whole ordeal that changelings where now a phobia of his.

It was nice to know I left a lasting impression of unbridled terror in some ponies.

“FAIRY!”

“Oh lighten up Twilight, it’s not like I actually did anything,” I said with a roll of my eyes.

“Then maybe you should take a look around!” she grumbled before pointing to some of the other guards in the room.

I did like she asked and frowned at what I saw. Several of the guards were scowling at me, their legs were tense, and a few of the ones that were carrying actual weapons had them out of their sheaths, or reared back to throw. “What the buck is up with them?”

Twilight sighed. “Don’t you remember what happened the last time changelings were in the Crystal Empire?”

“Yeah,” I replied with a growl. “I tried to get myself killed just to buy Luna and Tia enough time for them to rescue you and Cadence.”

“They don’t know that,” Twilight told me in a low voice. “The story we told everypony was the princesses did it all, and you surrendered after Chrysalis was defeated.”

That little reminder had me gritting my teeth. In my defense, it probably wouldn’t be rubbing me the wrong way so much if we hadn’t just walked past the Spike fan club that he got for carrying the crystal luggage while my near sacrificial experience had earned me the animosity of the very ponies I saved. So this is the feeling the X-men were trying to convey, I told myself while making a decision. If I ever stumbled on the Marvel Universe, Magneto would have my full support. Fuck the ungrateful humanity.

It sucked, a harkening back to the first few days I had been in Ponyville and…oh hell, it wasn’t even that! Most of the ponies there got to know me as an alicorn first and foremost, then learned I was in fact the changeling that terrorized their town in the least destructive rampage of Ponyville’s history. Even then, a combination of looks and pheromones kept the stallions wanting me, and a free brothel during that time of the month kind of had ponies warming up to changelings in less than a week.

But not in the Crystal Empire!

Oh no!

They had been conquered and spared from certain death by the changelings and…yeah, I should have been understanding, with love and tolerance and all that shit but…after days and days of getting blown off by Twilight in lieu of her research project when I had been expecting things to get better between us…I wasn’t in the mood to start kowtowing to a bunch of sparkling ponies.

“Now let me just reapply your disguise and-”

Or a Sparkle pony either for that matter.

“No.”

Twilight blinked. “W-What?”

I looked over to her with a frown. “I said no. In fact…” I looked over to my minions. “Drop the disguises and don’t change form for as long as we’re in the Empire.”

As #619 and Beast followed my orders, I walked past Twilight while she was running her damn mouth. “What in the name of Celestia is wrong with-”

“ANNOUNCING HER ROYAL HIGHNESS PRINCESS CADENCE AND THE GREAT AND POWERFUL SPIKE THE BRAVE AND GLORIOUS, SAVIOR AND CHAMPION OF THE CRYSTAL EMPIRE AND DEFENDER OF THE REALM, THE GREATEST HERO IN ALL OF EQUESTRIA!” a booming voice called out from the door at the top of the stairs, cutting Twilight off and drawing my attention.

Once again, I found myself grinding my teeth in annoyance as the baby dragon was carried in on his fucking miniature throne by a quartet of guards while another pony in servants garb trailed behind him with a bucket of gems tied around her neck like a basket. As soon as they stopped, she fed him one.

A few seconds later, Cadence trotted down the steps and…frowned at me. “Omnifarious? Why are you um…I thought you couldn’t look like that while in Equestria?” she asked in an odd tone. “The treaty you sighed-”

The reminder of that stupid treaty got a growl out of me and a narrowing of my eyes. Honestly, I had no idea what the fuck I was thinking, signing something that had a stipulation like that. Anyone with half a brain knew that a black-coated pony without a cutie mark was a changeling. “So then lock me up already!”

“W-What?” Cadence asked as she reeled back in surprise. “Nopony’s going to-” She looked over to Twilight. “Twilight, what’s going on?”

Twilight sighed and shook her head. “I have no idea. She’s been…cranky all morning.”

Oh, so now even when I sound and look like a guy, I’m still female, I grumbled to myself. And here I thought she was sympathetic to my gender problems. So much for that theory.

“Well um…maybe you’ll all feel better after brunch?” she asked sweetly in the way only ponies seemed to be able to do. “A lot of the crystal nobles are going to join us, and we’re going to have a bard reciting. I know it’s a little old fashioned but…Crystal Empire.”

As Twilight started talking about how nice that sounded and trotted past me to talk to Cadence, I made it a point to glare at the guards that got too close to me, Sunset and her escort before following them up the stairs to a meal that was pretty much useless to me.

As it turned out, the food was useless to Sunset too, and she poked at what looked like some kind of gemstone pineapple on her plate while she sat next to me and my changelings took up a seat on our sides while more than half the guards in the room were stationed at our backs; ten in all. They weren’t much for conversation.

Twilight was sitting next to Cadence, while Spike had the seat of honor next to Shiny, followed by an older-looking pony that seemed to be an advisor, and then a snooty noble, followed by a stuffy noble, a fat noble, a nervous noble sat where the table started to curve, and then there was a skinny crystal noble, one wearing glasses, a mustached noble, a pair of twins, and then a bug-pony sat next to a bipedal creature with red and yellow hair that sat next to me, who was stuck next to a smaller bug pony at the end of the table on Shiny’s side.

Basically, I was shoved out to the ass end of nowhere, and was a little put off by it. I wouldn’t have minded, but…

Okay, yeah I minded it. I minded it a lot. No stipulations either. I minded it so much that I sent a glare towards Cadence that she didn’t see, although Twilight apparently caught a glimpse and actually scowled back at me for some fucking reason that just made me want to punch a pony. The whole thing made me short in disgust while I listened to the damn entertainment.

“And then, the great and powerful Spike heroically battled the dark crystal golems that the mad king did send against him-”

It did wonders for my mood. The kind of wonders that turn normal people into psychopaths. “Would somepony care to explain to me why a royal dignitary and his charge are getting insulted like this?” I growled to no one in particular.

“Quiet monster!” one of the guards that was wearing armor a bit fancier than the others ordered. “The Great Spike told us about you and your pet demon! I wouldn’t let you within a thousand miles of the Crystal Empire if it weren’t for you being pets of Princess Sparkle!”

Sunset flinched at the demon comment, and my whole body shook with rage as I really did use everything I could to keep from turning around and beating the stallion behind me to death. After all, Twilight wouldn’t like it. It would cause a disturbance. Sunset might get hurt in the crossfire when I decided to see if crystal ponies got broken bones, or just shattered on impact with a wall.

It didn’t help I had to listen as the heroic tale of Spike the invincible champion. The dragon who single-handedly saved the Crystal Empire by overcoming Sombrero's dark traps, minions, and his own worst nightmare to retrieve the Crystal Heart and bring it to Princess Cadence just in time for her to activate its magic and repel the unicorn king. But thanks to my inability not to pay attention when only one person is talking thanks to years of college lectures, I lost that battle.

No…angry wasn’t describing what I was feeling at the moment as I saw Sunset slumped down in her seat. Blinding, murderous rage was closer to the actual emotion that was trying to consume me. But of course, if I ripped out the guard’s tongue and shoved it down his throat, Twilight would be upset all from her seat next to her fucking sister-in-law that stuck me in no man’s land on the word of an overgrown iguana that apparently lied a few things into the royal ears while the rest of us were fighting through his mob of adoring fans.

But…somehow, I didn’t. Maybe it was the fact that it was ten to one, and any murders might draw the wrong kind of attention. Maybe it was the fact that Twilight had frowned at me for some reason. Although I’m going to be altruistic and blame my lack of killing a crystal pony that so deserved to die on the fact that there was an off chance that Sunset could get caught in the crossfire.

Hell, for all I knew, crystal ponies exploded when they died and Sunset would have been hit by crystal shrapnel.

So, I grit my teeth and took it while reminding myself that we were just here for a day or two.

Then the bard began the tale of how Spike freed the princesses from the evil Chrysalis, and led them in battle to drive the evil beings out of the Empire before he single-handily slew the changeling queen and forced her inept daughter into a surrender as I apparently begged for my life. That got a chuckle out of the guards.

Well why not? I told myself while making sure to memorize each other their faces for when I sent my best five changelings in to kill their children and rape their wives in front of the bastards before killing the fools with an overload of pain nerves. They still celebrate Nightmare Night after all. Coming down each and every year just to eat children really made me wonder why Luna didn’t just take over Equestria back then.

Unless of course, you know...it was total bullshit and she never ate a single foal even as Nightmare Moon or spent a single second free before her imprisonment ended. But hey, that was impossible! Impossible I say! After all, if an entire fucking holiday was created celebrating the moon tyrant and how she enjoyed eating children, then it must be true!

If the damn breakfast/lunch had lasted any longer than the half-and-a half it took to tell the three brave tales of Spike the Glorious and whatever the fuck else title a stupid horse could think up as he saved the Crystal Empire from Sombra, led an expedition into an unknown land of bipedal monsters like Sunset (which was the sparsest of the tales even though it did mention her demonic transformation), and managed to rescue all four princess’s from Mom’s evil clutches before making me surrender, I think I would have murdered someone.

Then, when it was FINALLY over, I watched as the royals and their ‘hero’ were taken out of the room. Oh but when I tried to get up to follow Twilight, I caught the hint of a glare shot in my direction by the purple pony, another fucking guard came over to where we were sitting and glared down at us. “Princess Cadence orders that the changelings and their demon are to be taken to proper quarters until she summons them.”

I whirled on them and glared. “Excuse me?”

“The orders of the princess are not to be questioned by monsters you filthy bug!” the guard in the fancy armor spat.

It felt like every single part of my body wanted me to lash out and kill the pompous idiot. I would have too, I REALLY would have, but…something stopped me. It was nothing physical, or magical, or…anything really. It was like that tiny voice people claim to hear inside their heads when they really don’t hear anything, telling them that what they’re doing is wrong, or that jumping off a skyscraper was a stupid idea.

So once again, despite being ready to foam at the mouth, I held back.

God did I hate it.

And what made me do it in the first place.

The quarters we were given as honored guests of the princess and royal dignitaries was smaller than a Japanese college studio apartment that had been cut in half. The only thing it had was two pairs of bunk beds and even then, the door couldn’t be opened all the way. In order for us all to just fit in the room, I had the changelings get on the top bunk and enter hibernation. I did the same for a good thirty minutes to check on the hive-mind and relay some instructions to the changelings at the castle, as well as one of the changelings in my telepathic communications network stationed in Canterlot.

It was about an hour before I managed to calm myself down a little to actually talk some with Sunset. “Sorry about what happened at breakfast-lunch. You want to talk about it?” I asked while doing my best to sound…sympathetic, I guess. Truth was, a I was still pretty grouchy.

“It’s okay-”

“If you start saying something like you deserve it Sunset, I swear I will-”

“No!” Sunset told me as she raised her hands to stop me from talking. “You…you’re right. These ponies don’t know me. Whatever they just say is just stupid words, and I’m much too smart to let something like a bunch of stupid words to affect me.”

That a least made me smile a little. “That’s…good to hear.”

“I think I asked you this once but…why are you so…on my side so much?” she asked while hunched over thanks to the fact pony beds didn’t lend well to human heights.

I sighed and licked my lips. “Because…I guess…you’re the oddity,” I told her while trying to make sure it came out right. “I mean…okay… Twilight drove an entire town into a riot, Discord tortured ponies for fun, Luna let the Nightmare into her and tried to kill every living thing on the planet, and you? You threw a book at Celestia, and told her no. They get forgiven at the drop of a hat, and you? You get banished to the human world, permanently.”

Sunset flinched at that, but I forced myself to keep going. “Celestia showing up was an accident, and Twilight? She left you there, and every time I think about that I just…I just want to scream at her!” I exclaimed before on this rather nice rant that I had developing. “Oh, and now we have Spike! Yeah, apparently when a pony lies about how she beat up a space bear, or accepts praise for things she’s actually done, or gets a trophy for it, that’s bad! But when a dragon lies his rear-end off, turns a whole bucking kingdom against a girl doing her best to try and turn her life around, oh nononono! He can go ahead and do that!”

“F-Fae, you’re starting to scare me,” Sunset managed.

“SCARE YOU?” I demanded…before I realized I was yelling and…had been for a little while now. The girl in front of me was trembling in fact, and I couldn’t help but gape at the sight just a little. “What? You…Sunset, I’m not…” I took a breath to help me get some time and looked back to her. “Oh come on Sunset, I managed to hold myself back from tearing apart a few guards, I think I can keep myself from laying a hoof on you! Give me some credit here.”

She sighed, and nodded. “Not like I have much choice,” the girl mumbled before Sunset looked back up to me. “But…um…you seem a little…on edge lately. Is anything wrong?”

“No,” I grumbled before we went back to waiting.

Sunset went pretty quiet after that, and for a long time too. Another hour passed, and then another. I thought of leaving, but oh as it turned out, the fucking guards outside our ‘guest quarters’ wouldn’t hear of that.

Oh how I wanted to snap their pathetic necks. But no…no, I couldn’t do that.

Then came a question I’d been wondering. “Okay, I have to know…did you ever meet Cadence? Before now, I mean.”

Sunset let out a groan. “Yes.”

My brony world-building hunger became aroused. “Well…you can’t just leave me hanging like that. I mean…come on.”

“Look, it was before I found out that Princess Celestia can turn ponies into alicorns, okay?” she grumbled. “I met her, thought she was a real niece instead of adopted, and thought she was the same as every other pony I had met, wanting to be friends and stuff. She must have been new to the alicorn thing, because her magic sucked. Needless to say, we didn’t hit it off.”

And that was the end of the great Cadence meets Sunset story. From the way Sunset looked, she didn't want to talk about it, and there was no way in hell that I was going to press her on it. In fact, it had to have been close to seven o’clock by the time I got around to talking to Sunset again. We made some minor conversation about television shows, movies, and I had to correct her on several things that Earthquestria got wrong, most of them name-related. It was eight o’clock before I got to anything real important.

“Okay you’re right, something is bothering me,” I admitted to the girl.

Sunset’s stomach growled, and my lips curled. “You okay?”

“Just a little hungry,” she replied while holding her stomach. “But hey, misery loves company. So…what’s eating you?”

That became the signal to open the floodgates. To be honest, I couldn’t even believe Sunset needed to ask that question. She was there for most of it.

“You mean despite the fact that the pony I chose to have a relationship with has kicked me to the curb in order to do paperwork?” I demanded. “Oh sure, as soon as we get her away from that, it’s all lovey and dovey and bla bla blabla! But the minute we got back to Ponyville, Twilight’s Twilight-ness goes into overtime, and I’m lucky to get an hour a week with her. Hell, I’m living off artificial love again! And do you have any idea how much worse it tastes that the real thing? Not that I actually think I’m getting the real thing anymore!"

I got to my pony-feet and tried to pace around the room. It didn't work so well. So I just ended up all the more agitated, and sat back on the bed pony-style, which was more of a laying down than anything. “So, I guess this is how it ends,” I grumbled.

“What ends?”

“Me and Twilight!” I snapped at her. And that was just the beginning. “It’s been hours since we see her, before her idiot of a sister has us shoved in this room and for what? Showing ponies what I really look like? Well Excuse me for being born a changeling and, oh, I don’t know, RISKING MY LIFE FOR EQUESTRIA! No! The dragon that carries the luggage gets all the fame, even though it’s a bucking lie! So you know, what? Let her have her dragon, let her have her stupid…whatever, but the next time I see Twilight, I’m telling her it’s bucking over!”

I panted a little bit at my rant and... Okay, there's some psychobabble about how ranting is supposed to be good for you, how its supposed to get things off your chest and clear your head, get rid of all those bad thought and bla bla bla. But for me, the truth is that it just reminds me about everything that's wrong with...well, everything. Instead of getting some dark emotion off my chest and cleaning myself, I was madder than ever thanks to going over the 'reasons that I'm pissed off right now' checklist.

“W-what?”

“Oh come on!” I yelled at Sunset. “You’re actually there to see all this! You see all this bucking manure I have to put up with from her over the past week! It’s all project, project, project, for Princess bucking Celestia! Buck, I didn’t know just how much of a shaft I was getting until she stopped doing it for half a week up in Rainbow Falls! Getting a pat on the head from Tia is obviously more important to her than anything else!” Hell, even back before that, Twilight didn’t even visit me when I was having my stupid psychotic episode because Celestia told her not to so…fuck her!

Sunset looked at me with wide eyes. “I-I didn’t say anything!”

After hearing that, I don’t know why I was in any way surprised when the door slowly opened, as much as it could anyway, and I saw Twilight standing in the hallway. I was in Equestria after all, and stupid rants about girlfriends just wouldn’t be right if they weren’t overheard by the ponies they were actually about.

Twilight had an odd look on her face. It wasn’t the angry scowl she had on earlier, or some hurt expression I half-expected to see. There was just this…blankness to her look. To be honest, I didn’t give much of a damn about her feelings after being stuck in a broom closet of a bedroom for a day with a starving teenager. Plus, since I was one-hundred-percent changeling, her feelings weren’t forced on me and I could tell her to fuck off without having to smell her God damned mood. All part of the joys of going au natural.

So I just let out a growling sigh. “Oh, well great. You here to escort me to the dungeon now for being a changeling?” I asked with a frown. “Because I think I’d actually have more room than what your bucking sister gave me.”

The alicorn jump-flinched at the question and looked around the room. “What? I-I didn’t…” She stopped and looked at the guards standing outside our room. “W-Who ordered you to put my friends in here?” she demanded.

“The Captain did, Princess.”

“S-Shiny didn’t order this! He’s been with me and Cadence all day!” Twilight exclaimed. "Just like me!"

Yeah, I told her through my non-existent telepathy. And I’ve been down here, waiting for YOU!

“The Captain, Princess Sparkle not the Prince.”

Another voice outside snickered from outside. “Shiny! Gotta remember that one!”

“Well then let them out, I need to talk with my…um, with the changeling queen,” Twilight said, which got a scowl from me thanks to the female mention. Dar God in Heaven did I hate that. Not just the female thing, but Twilight of all ponies/people calling me that when I at least looked and sounded like a guy.

“So now I’m the changeling queen huh?” I snapped at Twilight. “Good to know Princess.”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that Princess.”

Twilight turned away from me to glare at him. “And why not?” she demanded.

“Only Crystal Royalty gives us orders ma’am,” the guard on the right replied. “You’re just the boss of…um…hey Glimmer, what’s the Prince’s little sister supposed to be the princess of again?”

“Ugh! Fine!” Twilight exclaimed. “I’ll go get my brother! Fairy, just…stay there! I need to ask you…just…please stay there. Please!”

I frowned back at her as the door slammed shut before I could say anything. “Oh well that’s nice.”

It took an hour of waiting before I finally heard hooves outside the door again. Which means it was about nine something. I had gone back to grumbling with Sunset about this whole fucking thing. That alone was probably why I didn’t just kill the guards outside the door, make my way to the Crystal Heart, gorge myself, and level the whole fucking Empire.

“Why are four of my guests being detained in the abandoned servant’s quarters?” the familiar and angry voice of a certain pink pony princess demanded from out in the hallway.

“Ma’am, the Captain said-”

“If the Captain of MY guard decides to put ponies that are accompanying my little sister here under invitation, into rooms so small they’ve been made obsolete, then don’t you think there’s something a little wrong with that? And don’t Ma’am me, it’s HIGHNESS! Now open the bucking doors before I get angry.”

The crystal doors opened, and I saw Cadenza standing out in the hallway with a scowl on her face. “Ugh! I can’t believe they actually put you all in here.”

I scowled back at her. “So what the buck took you so long Cadenza?”

Cadenza gave me an odd look with a raised eyebrow and then let out a sigh. “What happened between you and Twilight?”

“She showed up, promised to go get Shining Armor, hours ago!” I shouted. “What’d you do? Have tea?”

The nervous laugh told me everything I needed to know. “Well…yes,” she replied with a sigh. “I’m sorry it’s my fault. Twilight ran to me in tears saying how she made you angry, and with everything else-”

“What everything else?” I asked in a low tone.

“Um…” Sunset spoke up, “before we start talking…can I please have something non-crystal to eat? Fruits aren’t that lasting and…human mouths aren’t made for crystal food. Please…I’m hungry.”

After the two of us got some food from Cadenza that Sunset could eat and unloaded a couple of Big Macs for my changelings to snack on, Cadenza led us to what I guess was a private dining room, and I sat down at the empty table built for about four ponies, or maybe six. To be honest, I wasn't paying much attention to anything beyond my own simmering anger at the moment.

“I guess I should start from-no,” Cadenza stopped herself. “I should apologize. The two you’ve been treated in my Empire is…disgraceful.” She bowed her head, and I took the moment in which she wasn’t watching to roll my eyes at the apology.

“I had no idea what was going on. I was with Twilight and Shiny the whole day showing her the sighs after we um…grounded Spike,” she told me with a wince.

That caught my attention and peeked my interest a bit. “Why?”

Cadenza cleared her throat. “While you were…headed to the castle. Spike decided to tell everypony about how you and um...Sunset the demon, had apparently bewitched Twilight-”

“HE WHAT?” I demanded before getting all indignant and stood up while I reached a whole new level of anger because...

The whole idea behind warping a pony's mind was two things to me: frightening, and sickening. On the frightening part, I was afraid of it because the idea was just so tempting. I mean, one little mental nudge, and Twilight would have been back with me. I could have easily made it so the past week would never happen again. And while I was at it, I could have made her never argue with me again, never try and get me into a dress again, kick Spike out of the house like the little shit deserved, and...well, make her do whatever I wanted, no matter how dark, twisted or raunchy. And I had a pretty dark and twisted imagination even by human standards.

As for the sickening part, well...I was an American. We abhorred the idea of slavery to the point where it might have well have been religious fervor on general principal. And mind control was pretty much the ultimate form of slavery. It wasn't just putting a person in chains and forcing them to choose between work and pain, or servitude or death. It was actually taking that choice away from them altogether. So, yeah...hated it so much the very thought of using that kind of magic even in the simplest form disgusted me.

“Fae, please-”

“What?” I demanded of the pink princess. “Calm down? Or maybe, forgive him? Or hey, how about, roll over and die, because another member of Twilight’s stupid family thinks I’m using mind control or something on her? Hey, while we're on the subject of me messing with a pony's mind. What do you think Cadenza?”

Once again, Cadenza sighed and shook her head. “I would have thought you would have been more understanding. That’s what Twilight has been saying about you at least.”

“Yeah well, after a day of watching Sunset starve, Twilight can suck it!” I barked back at her.

At Cadenza’s confused look, Sunset cleared her throat. “It’s a um, human euphemism. It basically means…um…well I guess the best translation would be he just told Twilight to go fuck herself since-”

Cadenza sighed. “I understood that much,” the pink pony princess said as she looked over to Sunset. “And how are you Sunset?”

Like usual the human just hugged herself and looked away. “I’m fine.”

“That’s human body language for, I feel terrible,” I told her. I decided to leave off the part about how Sunset was having trouble sleeping at night, how she couldn’t go back to sleep, sometimes cry and other times you just scream into her pillow because she had a pair of hands. I also didn’t tell Sunset there were four changelings outside her window at all times in case she tried to jump. Until she did that, or came to me asking for help, there wasn’t all that much I could do. She avoided the subject of how badly she was doing pretty good.

Cadenza sighed again. “I see.”

“So are we done?” I asked with a frown. “Because I have to be asleep by ten thirty to keep Celestia’s consciousness from being torn apart by the changeling hive-mind.”

“I’m trying to tell you what happened!” Cadenza insisted.

“I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED!” I shouted back at her. “Twilight decided to get all insecure because one of her stupid little friends doesn’t want to hang around some nothing little town for the rest of her life! So then she ran to you, and locked me in a closet all day while the two of you connected. Did I miss anything?”

And once again, Cadenza sighed. “That was because of Spike. He…he said that you…threatened him to try and stop you from…well, he’s a terrible liar, so it didn't long to figure out what was going on. Twilight of course grounded him and we spent the day-”

I rolled my eyes. “Doing whatever the buck she wanted,” I cut in. “Just like how she blew me off for the past five days-”

“Listen, Twilight doesn’t mean to-”

“I don’t care what she means to do, only what she does!” I exclaimed.

Cadenza held up her hooves. “You’re angry, I understand that, but… Twilight came to me an hour ago, saying you were going to leave her, and I told her to have a drink and calm down, and tell me what was going on-”

“Meanwhile, I’m in a box,” I added.

“Yes, you were still locked in a room. So if you need to be angry at somepony for that, be angry at me,” Cadenza went on.

“I told her to calm down for ten minutes, and drink some tea, and you must know how she gets when she’s explaining things, so please, I’m begging you,” she said in a tone that was far from begging. “Just please, tell me that you’re not planning on ending your relationship with her. Please tell me that was just Twilight overacting.”

I opened my mouth to tell her to fuck off, but…she just looked at me with these pleading eyes that were just…not Cadence. At least not the Cadence I knew from when we ran into each other last time. Last time she was all bossy, and scary…now, she was just fucking terrified.

And of course, it did to me what every fucking pony face did on the verge of panic, or tears, or some other shit did. I sighed, groaned. “Fine. Give me the whole bucking story.”

From the way Cadence told it, Spike had shown up without us and listened to the rather embellished story about how he ‘saved’ the Crystal Empire by carrying the luggage through traps, monsters, the son of Sombra, and whatever the fuck else the bard decided to think up at the time. The tale about the how he saved the Crystal Empire from me was of course complete bullshit, rather than the eight-percent pure like the first tale of Spike the bla bla bla, and the part about him leading an expedition to Earthquestria had been made up five minutes prior to my arrival with his help when he told all the ponies about Sunset.

“And Twilight let this junk…just…happen?” I demanded.

Cadence cleared her throat. “Um…well…she said, you’d…probably like it better if we just let him have his day in the sun,” she said. “I take it that wasn’t the case?”

Well that fucking figures, I told myself. I bitch to her about Rainbow Dash, and the next thing I know, the worst possible circumstances happen to…what? Try and prove me wrong?

Okay fine, Equestria morals win. Any type of fame is bad and can only end in disaster as it turns good people into Tiger Woods. So, yeah, I fully expected Spike to be sleeping with crystal hookers when next I saw him.

“And then what?” I asked in a grumble. Because getting an explanation of everything was not helping my mood. It was just reminding me why I was pissed off.

“During the breakfast, that’s when Spike told us about how you’ve been...threatening him, and then the meal ended and Twilight walked out in a huff,” Cadence went on. “We talked to Spike and…Twilight started asking questions. She wanted details about how you threatened him and he couldn’t answer without stuttering or adding details in after he told them. Honestly…I think Spike thinks you’re trying to take Twilight away from him.”

I let out a snort. “So first her bucking pet and now me?” I asked.

Cadence nodded. “She said you know about Spike’s abandonment problems and-”

“I honestly don’t care about Spike’s stupid little problems when he decides to try and sic and entire bucking city on a girl who can barely sleep at night and tries to guilt trip her to death,” I told Cadenza evenly before she could go on about poor Spikey-Wikey. “And I really don’t give a buck about Twilight’s hurt feelings after she left a girl who hasn’t eaten anything all day to starve while she talks to you about her relationship problems. Me getting shoved aside to do paperwork for Celestia is one thing, but leaving a girl who hasn’t had food all day so that she can whine about things to you-”

“I told you that was my fault!” Cadenza went on. “If you’d just calm down for a second, and listen.”

Fuck that, I thought to myself. I was through listening. I was done being the rational one that got shoved aside and put on hold when ponies like Rainbow got an exception to Twilight’s Celestia worship.

I took in a deep breath, and fixed Cadenza with a level gaze. Then, just to let all of this hit home, I lied through my teeth. “I am calm,” I told her. “That’s the thing about raging anger, it burns out pretty quickly when you're just sitting around. So now that I’m nice, calm, cool and collected. So you can do me a favor and tell Twilight something for me, because I have to go to sleep before Celestia in the next few minutes.”

Of course I was far from calm and all those things, but there was no need to tell her that. That was the thing with being locked in a fucking room all day, it tended to let your anger boil pretty easily.

Cadenza gulped. “Omnifarious,” she began as she raised a hoof. “You’re still angry, and-”

"Where's Twilight?" I demanded loud enough to cut Cadenza off.

"Well, she was upset so...I said I'd handle this, and-"

“The day Twilight’s parents decided to scream and run away rather than give me a chance, I made a decision if it came to a choice between her family and me, I would make her choose her family. Spike’s part of her family, so she can have him. Because I’m done. I’m not gonna turn this into some stupid tug of war between me and him. He wins, it’s over, and I’ll be heading back to Ponyville at first light. You want to handle something? Go tell Twilight if she doesn't even want to bother meeting with me now, then we're done!”

“You know, as I remember, you left her for five days too,” Sunset spoke up. “At least, that’s what Princess Celestia said about how she and you came to get me.”

I looked over to the redhead and frowned. “And?”

Sunset raised an eyebrow. “So…don’t you think you should be a little more accommodating?”

“You’ve been in a human world. News flash, we’re all hypocrites,” I replied before walking away.

“Omnifarious! Just wait until tomorrow morning and-” was all Cadenza managed to get before I teleported away.

One thing good about being locked in a room all day was that it meant I knew the damn place well enough to just pop right into the middle of it. After making sure the guards weren’t around, I looked at the two sleeping changelings, and then kicked #619 and #666 awake.

“Wake up, I’ve got a job for the two of you.”

For a minute I thought about telling them to just go snag Spike and throw him off tallest tower in the Crystal Empire. Oh how tempted I was to just murder the little bastard. Or hell, there were a few normal ponies around whose shape they could take. I could have them be angry guards that heard about Sunset being a demon and decided to take care of the problem. A few broken bones, and the guilt would crush his sorry little heart and get Twilight so pissed off at him…

But I was through with this pony relationship shit and playing second fiddle to everything else in Twilight’s God damned life, and none of that would solve any of my problems, I decided to just cut my ties here and now.

“Go find Spike the dragon and tell him it’s over, he won,” I said. “Tell him he gets Twilight all to himself.”

The changelings gave me an odd look. #619 was the one to speak. “That’s it?”

“Yep.”

“I don’t get it,” Beast told me.

I snorted as I climbed into bed. “Of course you don’t. You’re not supposed to. Now do as you’re told, I have information to review.”

When used correctly, the information processing ability of a hive mind is more powerful than any computer on the planet. A drone can read a message, or a page with information on it, go into stasis, in a magical cloud network of over nine thousand brains. Fifteen hundred intelligent drones and warriors can go through a room full of birth records in death certificates in a little under four hours. From there, all the information is stored in-mind, and ready to be called up to accessed and downloaded.

For a quick comparison on just how fast information can be absorbed. It takes a pegasus about three months of flight camp to become a kind of decent flier, and your average unicorn twice as long to get magic down. I gained complete mastery of my changing magic and wings from being the equivalent of a newborn in less than a minute after coming out of my pod.

All of the information on Equestria’s births and deaths for the past thousand years took considerably less time to process. On top of which, I got the big picture as well as all the little details. I didn’t quite understand what Tia was needing to know, it was all pretty basic information and showed what anyone with a brain would have expected. Five minutes after looking at all the mental graphs and charts showing the only five things that Twilight’s search had in common, or as close as you could get to looking when the world was just a gigantic mass of thoughts and information.

Then I found myself human in a familiar house, sat down, and waited for Tia to show up.

She didn’t disappoint, a second later, the goddess appeared in all her glory. She looked down at me, then sighed and spoke. “So, anything happen to you today?”

“Nothing really important.”

Celestia raised an eyebrow. “I thought you said we couldn’t lie here.”

“Like I said, nothing really important happened,” I told her. “Well, according to me, anyway. Something happen to you?”

“I felt a…mass of anger, earlier today. From you."

That peeked my interest. “Since when can you feel my emotions?” Ad was it just today? Or always? Back in Tambleon I had been a changeling like today, so...did that have something to do with it? I...

I choked my curiosity over that little fact to death. What the hell did I care if Tia knew I was pissed off? It wasn't like she wasn't going to get a full report when we met up every night.

Tia shrugged. “I did it once before…back in Tambelon,” she told me. “I wasn’t sure what it was but…today was so much stronger and…what’s going on?”

“Hmm, probably has something to do with me being in changeling form,” I mumbled.

“Omnifarious,” the goddess spoke again.

“I’m not selfless.”

Tia frowned at me. “What?”

I reached for the remote. “I said I’m not selfless,” I told her. “Now sit down and watch the damn movie. We’re starting with episode four and then going to five before hitting the first three to do it like a flashback but...you’ll get it when it’s over in a couple nights.”

Being all cautious and junk, the goddess took a seat next to me. “I’m not sure I understand.”

“Just watch and you'll get it soon-”

“No, not the movie...what’s wrong?”

I grit my teeth. “I...finished with all your data today. Call your fucking summit.”

Celestia frowned at me. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Are you going to?”

“Not if you want to know about all that stuff you told Twilight to read.”

Tia sighed. “I’ll get Luna and meet you in the Crystal Empire tomorrow afternoon for the summit then.”

The news made me frown. If Celestia was coming like I had just asked...there was no way I was going anywhere. So much for leaving at dawn.