This fic is written in honor of Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw. The writer. The reviewer. The legend.

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Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw is not your regular video game reviewer. He is a reviewer who is forced to constantly review terrible games against his will due to an inescapable contract that he has with the Escapist Magazine. He was, in fact, just finishing up his latest review of the game "Twisted Metal" for the Playstation 3.

"...Whereupon she storms in and wrenches the controllers away from her children so hard their little arms snap off at the elbow," Yahtzee said quietly to himself as he typed on his computer. Pausing to think for a few seconds, he added one final thought. "Huh. Actually, on second thought, I'm down with that. Carry on, Twisted Metal."

With that done, Yahtzee grunted and stood up, stretching his arms and flexing his fingers.

"Finally done," he muttered to himself. "That game actually wasn't half bad. Much better than most garbage I am forced to look at, like Duke Nukem Forever."

Yahtzee shuddered at the thought of seeing that game again, even if it was just for a nanosecond. The door to Yahtzee's chamber then swung open. Yahtzee looked through the door and let out a disgruntled groan. It was a small, black imp holding a small parchment in one hand and a package in the other. It drooled out of the side of its mouth as it stared ahead blankly. Imps are mindless drones brainwashed by the Escapist Magazine to do their evil bidding. Most of them are actually used as paper weights and ammunition in the buildings automated cannons.

"What do you want?" Yahtzee asked, knowing that they could not speak. "I don't suppose you're here to free me, are you you little wanker?"

The imp looked up at Yahtzee and put the small piece of paper in it's mouth and balanced the package on his head like a hat. Yahtzee yanked the piece of paper out of it's mouth and smacked it with it. The imp fell down, but did not make any noise.

"It's like stealing candy from a blind, deaf, and dumb retarded quadruple amputee," he said, snickering to himself, smiling wickedly on the inside, for he had no mouth to smile with.

Yahtzee stopped looking at the imp slowly try to get up, and started to read the paper.

             Dear Prisoner Yahtzee,

You may be wondering why we have sent you this letter. I am sure your hopes are that we are going to free you once and for all. That is why I say in the most respectable manner that this will never happen. It's in your contract. We are, however, sending this to inform you that you have to do another review that will have to be completed for tomorrow. We know that you have already completed a review for tomorrow, but we realized all but too late that the video game we provided was somewhat decent. Instead, we want you to review this new game that just came out, from an unfunded indie developer located somewhere in Alaska.

What can we say, we are evil and our consumers demand blood, and the reviews you do where you praise the game do not bring in the numbers.

We hope you do not in any shape, way, or form enjoy this garbage.

-Signed, your evil overlord.

"I just finished writing my bloody review," Yahtzee exclaimed angrily, crumpling the letter up in his hands. "How on earth do they expect me to pull another review out of my derriere in just one night?"

The imp finally managed to get up just as Yahtzee finished his sentence. Yahtzee scowled and grabbed the package from the imp and kicked it back on to the ground. He then trudged back in to his room and slammed the door behind him. He cursed under his breath and threw the letter in the trash. He sat back down on his chair and ripped open the package to look at it, but when he opened it he slammed his eyes shut.

"What kind of game is this?" he asked furiously, shielding his eyes.

Yahtzee slowly retracted his hand from his face and looked at the case of the game. The case was extremely vividly colored and the title seamlessly blended in with the other colors of the case.

"Well, I'm hating this already," he muttered, squinting to see the title of the game.

He paused when he read the title. He then read it again to make sure, and once again to make sure he made sure.

"My Little Pony and the New Element?" Yahtzee said with a sick laugh. "They really are evil. What system is this even for?"

Yahtzee looked over the case but could not see any sign of which console it ran on. No Xbox 360 logo. No Playstation 3 logo. And certainly no Wii logo. He shrugged and threw it in to his computers disc drive, hoping that it would not work and he would have a reason to not play it. The desktops toolbar showed that there was indeed a disc in the drive, but it was labeled *Unknown Error*. He double clicked on the little icon and it a small symbol appeared in the middle of his desktop. It was a white castle with the letter c implanted on the flag. On the bottom right of the screen, a notice was given that read "MLP.exe has been installed".

"Well isn't this off to a fabulous start?" he grumbled as nothing happened when he clicked it. "Hurry up, I need to do this before I die of a brain hemorrhage."

He then hit his computer and double clicked it again. This time the screen changed and showed a logo that read Hasbro on it. He rolled his eyes and clicked his mouse, trying to skip the introduction. He groaned as it kept rolling on, without any hint of it being able to be skipped. Small letters appeared on the screen and Yahtzee leaned in close and squinted his eyes to read what it said. The letters appeared to be blurred and it took him a couple seconds to read each word.

"This. Product. Is. Not. To. Be. Held. Responsible. For. Any. Sudden. Changes. Of. Disposition. Players. May. Suffer. From. Severe. Happiness," he rolled his eyes as he finished. "How cute. I already want to shove a sword in to my chest and rip it upwards."

Another small screen appeared with even smaller words on it. Yahtzee felt his patience wearing thin as he squinted his eyes even harder to read these words.  He brought his face as close as humanly possible to the screen as he could.

"Hi!" the computer said at full volume. "My name is Twilight Sparkle..."

"Gah!" Yahtzee exclaimed, turning down the volume of his computer to a comfortable four percent.

"And this is Equestria!" the pony which was now visible on the screen, and apparently named Twilight Sparkle, said. "This is where me and my friends live and have our wonderful adventures. Would you like to have a wonderful adventure?"

"No," he said to himself. "No I would not like that. Not in the slightest bit."

"Great!" Twilight said, closing her eyes. "But first, I want you to meet my friends. I, as well as each of my friends, are the holders of the Elements of Harmony."

A screenshot then appeared on the screen, showing a picture of a purple unicorn.

"This is me, Twilight Sparkle," she continued. "I represent the element of Magic! I am very studious and I am usually found reading my books, because I believe that learning can be fun. Do you think learning can be fun?"

"Not at all," he replied bemusedly.

"Me too!" Twilight said. "I'm glad you like to learn because we will be doing a lot of that."

"Dammit. Skip damn you. SKIP!" he yelled, clicking his mouse furiously to skip the scene, but to no avail.

The screen then changed to show a second snapshot of an orange pony kicking a tree.

"This pony is named Applejack," Twilight said. "She represents the spirit of Honesty. She is a hardworking southern earth pony who is extremely dependable."

"Howdy!" Another voice said.

"For the love of everything, kill me now," he whimpered spitefully, throwing his mouse at the wall.

A third snapshot appeared, this time one with a blue pony with a rainbow colored mane.

"This pony is named Rainbow Dash. Can you say Rainbow Dash?"

"No I can't," he mumbled.

"Great job!" Twilight said with a wide smile that made Yahtzee sick to his stomach. "Rainbow Dash is a pegasus and she represents the element of Loyalty! She is an excellent athlete and she is not afraid to help her friends in a pinch."

"Hey there, I can't wait to meet you," a boyish voice called out.

"I give up," he sighed, throwing his hands in the air. "I don't even care anymore."

A fourth snapshot appeared, this time of a white unicorn.

"This unicorn is named Rarity," Twilight said. "She represents the element of Generosity. She is always there for her friends and is always ready to sacrifice her time to spend it with her friends."

"It is a pleasure to meet you," arefined voice said.

"Fantastic," he said with fake enthusiasm. "Please, do go on. I ever so wish to learn the ways of friendship..."

A fifth snapshot appeared, showing a yellow pegasus on the grass with a bunny next to her.

"This is Fluttershy," Twilight continued.

Yahtzee put the palm of his hand on his face and groaned.

"She represents the value of Kindness," she explained. "She is a quiet pony who loves to play with her many animal friends."

"Hello," a quiet and oddly soothing voice said.

"Fascinating." Yahtzee cried out. "Why won't it end?"

Another snapshot appeared, this time of a pink pony, that Yahtzee could already tell he was going to despise.

"This is Pinkie Pie. She represents the element of Laughter!" Twilight added.

As Twilight said that a shrill laughter burst out of the speakers and Yahtzee slammed his hands on his ears.

"She is a party pony and she is always glad to meet new ponies and make them smile," she explained.

"Hello there!" a high pitched voice exclaimed.

Another snapshot appeared on the screen, showing a picture of all of the ponies in a group.

"As you can see, we all have greatly different backgrounds, but that makes us closer to each other, even though our personalities differ greatly."

"Well done," Yahtzee said, clapping slowly. "You have officially showed me that friendship is beautiful. I don't even have to play the game now!"

"We hope to see you soon in Equestria so we can become your friend too!" Twilight laughed happily.

The title screen then flashed showing the new game button. Yahtzee was about to shut off his monitor but found himself strangely captivated by the bright ponies.

"You know what?" Yahtzee asked to nobody in particular. "I'll give this a shot. It can't be any worse than any of the other pathetic drivel I have played."

Yahtzee clicked the new game button and was prompted to give his name. In which he typed his name and hit enter. The screen then changed and showed a view of a town.

"This is Ponyville," Twilight Sparkle, the voice Yahtzee had already grown weary of, said. "This is where my friends and I live, and this is where we are going to meet for the first time."

"And hopefully the last," Yahtzee chuckled briefly to himself.

The screen then zoomed in to a town to show Twilight Sparkle standing still, smiling.

"Why hello there!" Twilight Sparkle said, trotting up to the screen, smiling widely. "You must be new in to-"

Yahtzee stared at the screen in disbelief. Ten seconds in to the game it already froze.

"For crying out loud, the creators of this just want me to hate everything, don't they?" he growled.

Yahtzee hit the computer in an attempt to get it to start again, but to no success. Yahtzee groaned and opened up the back of his tower. The imp from the hallway then managed to open the door and walk in.

"I don't expect you know how to fix a computer, do you?" he asked, looking at the small, black simpleton.

The imp stared at him and walked to the computer and ripped out a wire.

"That's not helping!" Yahtzee yelled, striking the imp on the back of the head.

The imp got back up and tried to put the wire back but was unable to, due to the rip in the chord. The imp then put the chord in it's mouth and got severely electrocuted, causing it to fall to the ground, much to Yahtzee's amusement.

"Hey that was great, mind doing it again?" he said in a sadistically gleeful voice.

The imp got up and spun around the room in a daze, just to fall on to Yahtzee's lap. Yahtzee kicked the imp off and groaned. Yahtzee looked at his computer and hit it again, but this time he got sent flying backwards in to his wall. Yahtzee grunted in pain. He opened his eyes and saw the imp in front of him so he kicked it as hard as he could. The kick hurt Yahtzee's foot and he doubled over with the pain.

"Are you okay?"asked an oddly familiar boyish voice.

"No, I think I may have broken something." Yahtzee said, slowly trying to stand up.

"Oh my, maybe we should bring you to a doctor," another familiar voice said, this time it was quiet... and meek.

Yahtzee slowly opened his eyes and looked up to be greeted by a bouncing pink pony, causing him to yelp and fall backwards.

"Hi," the pink pony exclaimed. "My name is Pinkie Pie, what's your name?"