23rd of June, 2351

Things have been hectic. Since I ‘reconsidered’ my plans, there has been some unrest. As if it was my fault! Luckily, both the chieftain and the shaman supported me, seeing as how I came closer to fulfilling their destiny than anyone else. I like them; they’re quite smart for simple savages. Then again, so am I!

It took some persuading, but I convinced the tribe to attack their pegasi – and equally barbaric – neighbours, who held another relic. Normally, the earth ponies would get shredded, but this time they had me. While my strength would be of little use against aerial foes, my intelligence saved the day once again. All it took was feigning retreat and letting the pegasi pursue us deeper into the jungle. There, the trees grew thick and the foliage dense, and our enemies suddenly found themselves grounded. They surrendered when our reserves popped up on all sides.

A glorious victory that cleared up any possible doubts about the right of my leadership. My soldiers ransacked their village, taking the Spear of Xiuhtecuhtli and vast amounts of gold, and rounded up all the pegasi. I wasn’t sure what to do with them at first – the tribal way would be to sacrifice them all on the top of the nearest temple, but I found that rather inefficient. They could be used for labour instead. I have an idea of what to do with them later on, but it still needs a bit more thought.

Nevertheless, the ritual will take place tonight, and I’ll double the guards in case there are any uninvited visitors.

Heh. Didn’t help him much. One of the pegasi got away and searched for ‘the hero that has defeated Ahuizotl ‘the Terrible’ once before already.’ I went there again, disguised as one of his new slaves, bypassed all the guards without a problem, and took it from right under his nose! One would think that if I did it once, he’d be better prepared, but no. Moron.

24th of June, 2351

This mare again! If it had happened once, I’d have thought it was just some random ‘adventurer’ that came in the wrong place at the wrong time, but twice? Is she some self-proclaimed vigilante that considers me a villain, or is she a mercenary? If so, who hired her?

‘Vigilante,’ eh? I like the sound of that. ‘Daring Do, the protector of the Tenochtitlan Valley.’

What’s worse, every time I see her, I remember Parfait. I swear their coats are the exact same colour! Is this some joke played on me by destiny? At least their manes are different, although only barely. Every glance at her hurts me inside, yet I can’t look away either! I have to get rid of her somehow.

‘My crush dumped me, boo-hoo, whine whine whine!’ Get over it, Ahuizotl. You’re a big boy now!

It was fortunate that I won so grandiosely the day before. Had there been more losses on our side, I’m sure they would’ve dethroned me! This mustn’t repeat again. I, despite my utter resentment, ventured into that blasted city again and hired a private investigator to find some information about that mare. I have a feeling she’ll try to foil my future endeavours as well.

A... private investigator? My first book came out at around that time, meaning... Horsefeathers!

25th of June, 2351

The investigator was fast. He delivered a fat file to me this very morning and took the agreed sum of gold without a word.

The picture he took was rather peculiar. Was I fooled twice by a drunkard?

Alright, fine! I celebrated a bit, so what? I was in the money for the first time in my life; I deserved a little party! Doesn’t make me a drunk.

Her name is, apparently, ‘Daring Do,’ and she has spent quite some time adventuring. Nothing too important, though. Mostly grave robbing from ancient pyramids and then dealing with the consequential curses and woken guardians.

“What? Grave robbing?” She slammed her hooves on the desk. “You take that back you mutt-brain! I’m an almost-graduated archaeologist; I was discovering them! I mean what’s the point of having all these priceless works of art collect dust in some old grave? They’re better off in museums and private collections!”

She moved to the Tenochtitlan Valley a few months ago and released a book called ‘Daring Do and the Pharaoh’s Secret,’ the first book of her ‘Saddle Arabia’ series, that quickly rose in popularity and earned her a decent amount of bits. She has shown no desire to quit adventuring.

Well, ‘Daring Do,’ you have proven yourself to be quite a nuisance not to be taken lightly. Next time, I’ll be better prepared.

She started flipping pages. When was the next time he tried to destroy the valley? August? No, September. Or was it October?

25th of September, 2351

Obtaining the relic has been rather troublesome. The Crown of Xiuhtecuhtli is the last of his artefacts, and the tomb it was hidden in was well trapped. Good thing there are so many ponies willing to take extreme risks for just a few ounces on this yellow metal.

I have to succeed this time. This is my last chance – even if the museum wasn’t so well guarded after the last five attempts I made at stealing the artefacts back, I can tell the tribe won’t tolerate another failure. I might even have to craft a plan B. It shouldn’t be necessary, however. The temple is well protected from Daring Do and any other of her ilk now, after the ‘alterations’ I made.

He just keeps on underestimating me, doesn’t he? I have to give it to him, though. I was kind of impressed when I saw his defences...

Sweet Celestia, what the heck? Daring regained her balance and stared at the pool of lava she nearly fell into. This... this wasn’t here last time! And neither were the snakes, scorpions, spikes, darts, and who knows what else!

She huffed and looked around the room she’d waltzed into. Except for the little ‘island’ she stood on, it was all lava with only a few rocks popping up here and there, stretching all the way towards the door on the other side. Tiny holes covered the walls and, at seemingly random times, shot out a dart. She looked up and spotted numerous armed figures standing on the balconies above. To top it all off, a massive boulder crashed right behind her, blocking any means of escape. “This is ridiculous! Are you all crazy?” Crazier than usual, at least?

The room reverberated with a deep chuckle. “I’ve been waiting for you, Daring Do.”

The door across the lava lake opened to reveal Ahuizotl.

“How do you know my name, Ahvuilabtl?”

“It’s Ahuizotl, you airhead!” He cleared his throat. “Well, not that it matters now. You shall perish whether you can pronounce my name correctly or not.”

“Oh yeah?” Daring cocked her brow. “And you’re telling me this because...? I mean if you wanted me dead, your goons would’ve already shot so many arrows through me that I’d look like a pincushion. Or do you just like to brag?”

He snorted. “‘Bragging’ is beneath me. I only wanted to give you the courtesy of last words.”

In other words, you’re bragging. “Last words? How about ‘Ahuizactal is a doofus?’” She took off and held her trusty, reinforced hat in her hooves, using it as a shield against the darts.

“It’s Ahuizotl, you– Shoot at her, what are you waiting for?”

The tribals fired as one, their arrows whizzing centimetres away from her, some even getting caught in her tail and mane. The hat looked more and more like a hedgehog as she countered each and every arrow aimed at her, and the lava underneath singed her tail after she dived to avoid a ballista bolt. Freaking ballistas? Really? Despite all that, she managed to fly to the other end of the room uninjured.

“Accept your death with dignity, Daring Do!”

She rolled her eyes and dove towards him, swooping through the open door into the rooms behind while very nearly hitting his head.

Daring shot through several hallways before slowing down, and her face broke into a wide grin. I... I can’t believe I’m still alive. His archers are the shoddiest I’ve ever seen! She landed in a large, spacious hall and looked at her hat. Yeah, this is ruined. She threw it away and focused on a large pedestal in the room’s centre.

While the rest of the building suffered under the thick cover of plants and the ancient stone looked like it was going to fall any second, the pedestal seemed freshly carved, its white surface covered by various decorative ornaments. The purpose of it was obvious – a large crown made of solid gold that sat atop it, unprotected and ripe for the taking.

Come to mama.

Daring trotted over and reached for it, but her hoof stopped moving moments before it made contact and her eyes stared at the circlet.

I hate him. I hate him so freaking much.

A large spider eyed her from inside the crown, its mandibles as big as knives and dripping with poison. It turned towards the hoof and flexed its legs.

“Shoo! Go away! Eat some mosquitoes or whatever.”

The spider didn’t move an inch.

She groaned and put her hoof next to the artefact. “You asked for it, buddy.” She swept the crown off the pedestal.

Now that shou– The spider was faster than it looked and sprung from inside the crown right onto her hoof, clutching its eight long, furry legs around it.

Sweet-mother-of-Celestia!

“Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!” Tears sprung into Daring’s eyes as she spun like a giddy-go-round, screaming while trying to shake off her front leg.

Meanwhile, Ahuizotl ascended the stairs and leaned against the wall, a small smirk playing upon his face.

“Ah, here you are, Daring Do. I see you have fou–”

“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up and get it off me! Quiiiick!” Her face turned red and wet like a freshly cut watermelon. “I swear I’m going to finish you off for this! I’ll push you into your stupid lava pool; I’ll tie that stupid tail of yours to a boulder and send it rolling downhill! I’ll–” The spider finally lost it’s grip and flew off her hoof – right onto Ahuizotl.

He chuckled and swept it off. “You’re foolish to think I’d be afraid of something I used to eat back at– Hey! Hooves off my crown!”

“Too late.” Daring grabbed it from the floor and sat it atop her head, flexing her wings. “So, any parting words? You know, to repay your courtesy earlier.”

Ahuizotl’s gaze dug into her as he repeatedly clenched his fists. “I’ll... I’ll pay you if you give it to me. I have heaps of gold, piles of it! You wouldn’t have to care about money for the rest of your life!”

Daring furrowed her brow and rubbed her chin. “Nice offer, buuuut... I’m not really doing it for the money, so no deal. Sorry. See you next time!” She took off, laughing.

“Curse you, Daring Do! You dirty little thief!” He rushed after her, shaking his tail-fist like a rattlesnake.

“You ruined my hat – I had to replace it somehow!” she called at him as she flew into the horizon.

I wonder who put him up to all those crazy contraptions. Ridiculous, every last one of them. I admit I’m kind of flattered he went to such lengths to defend against me, though. I mean most bad guys just hire a hitpony or something.

26th of September, 2351

I can’t believe it; all is lost! They don’t know the crown is gone yet since I said she took a replica, but it won’t be long. I have to make my move by then.

Curse that Daring Do – curse her to Tartarus! The pegasi worked day and night to build that trap. Can’t she show a bit of respect for their work and die as intended? It’s true this is, in part, my fault: I shouldn’t have gone in there. The door would be closed and she’d have no chance then. But could I not come? She looks so much like Parfait; I had to go and watch. Still, the tribals should’ve been better! There were dozens of them, and her only casualty was a hat? They deserve what’s coming to them!

If only things had gone a bit differently. I’d be on my way south right now. The gall when she refused my offer! ‘Not doing it for the money’ – well what does she do it for then? Either she styles herself as some hero of sorts, which I find doubtful, or she goes through all the trouble for the thrills. She doesn’t actually care one bit for the city or the ponies in it; she just wants to experience an adventure!

“What?” She jumped up from her seat, her eyes intent on burning a hole in the page. “Lies! Who does he think he is, slandering me like that? I care about ponies! So what if I enjoy the adrenaline coursing through my veins, the tingling on my spine, or the... the feeling when I take a breath, knowing it could be my last?”

Her eyes glazed over before she shook her head and scowled again.

“Doesn’t mean things like... uh... justice, kindness... honour... and all the rest mean nothing to me!”

She frowned and sat back down. “Shows what a blockhead he is. And here I was, thinking he had a brain in that head of his, that some of those traps were rather smart. I guess I can’t expect much from an evil villain that crawled out of the jungle.”

It’s aggravating that somepony like that could defeat me time and time again. I’d wager she even found my trap entertaining! Well, Daring Do, this kind of ‘fun’ will be your doom one day.

My mom told this to me countless times already; I don’t need you repeating it.

It doesn’t matter anymore. I have to focus on the plan.

27th of September, 2351

The plan worked. In a way. Sort of. The idea was to free the slaves, present myself as their liberator, defeat the earth pony tribe, and carry on with my plans. The pegasi, while a bit bitter for making them slaves in the first place, agreed to follow, as I was their only way to freedom and have already proven myself a capable leader. The plan worked well up until there.

Then a guard walked in on me undoing their chains and called for reinforcements. Unequipped and weak, the pegasi stood no chance in a fight, so I ordered retreat. Now we’re stuck trudging through this confounded jungle with several patrols looking for us! Blast it! I suppose my plans for revenge will have to be postponed until I find a new way to get back at the city, because the temple is clearly no longer an option. If I at least had some funds...