Okay...let's give this another shot. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, easing myself onto them. My knees buckled, shaking violently for a moment before I managed to force myself into a stand.

Oh, fuck the Hell yes... I grinned madly, looking around. "It feels great to be back!"
-----

Fluttershy and Twilight walked towards the hospital, Spike riding atop Twilight's back. "You don't have to come with me if you don't want to..." The pegasus half-whispered, reluctant to break the awkward silence.

"The best way to get over an irrational fear is exposure to whatever triggers it," Twilight responded clinically, as if quoting a book. "If I can prove to myself that he's not a monster, there'll be no reason to fear him. If he's unconscious, I should be able to get near him without...regressing." She muttered the last word as if it was painful to say, only perking up when Spike patted her withers in support.

"That's very brave, Twilight...I don't know if I'd be able to face something I'm scared of like that." Fluttershy trembled, gulping. "Like dragons..."

"You dealt just fine with that dragon a few years ago," Twilight responded, eyebrow raised in confusion. "You're still scared?"

"That was special. I saw him bullying you girls and I just...snapped." Fluttershy looked away, a troubled look on her face. "I don't wanna ever do that again."

"Well, pony-eating monster or not, Jason's no dragon," Twilight reasoned, "and he's been unconscious for a week. He's as harmless right now as he's ever gonna be."

"Ohh, but what if he never wakes up? The poor thing's been treated just terribly, and I just hurt him even more!" Fluttershy's voice rose with her anxiety, until she stopped walking altogether. "I poisoned him and he's gonna die and it'll be all my fault!" She plopped to the ground, forelegs covering her head and mane splayed out on the dirt.

"...Maybe that's not such a bad thing," Twilight mumbled under her breath.

"Twilight!" Spike shouted, an angry and troubled look in his eye.

"Just hear me out!" Twilight exclaimed, forelegs raised defensively. "Even if Jason fully recovers...what are the chances of him having anything even close to a normal life?" She lowered her ears, eyes drifting to the ground. "Just face it...after three years, nopony will accept him. And after the way he acted the last couple times I've been around him, I don't think he wants to keep going...Maybe what Fluttershy did was a kindness."

The mare in question sniffled, pulling herself to her hooves. "I don't wanna talk about this anymore..."
-----

I walked through the hall, my sheet wrapped around my waist and my cloak hanging around my shoulders. The hospital sheets were less than half the size of my royal toga, but I'd still managed to fashion a crude pouch for the colostomy and catheter bags. The latter held some troubling news: the small bit of urine in the bag held a distinctly red color.

No...No no no no, God, you've fucked me over at every turn so far, do NOT give me this!

Don't think about it.

I wandered the empty halls, searching for the exit. I willed my heart to slow, trying to force my suspicions from my head. As such, I nearly walked into somepony.

"Sorry," I muttered, not bothering to look down before trying to walk around them. I made it four steps before something slammed into my back and wrapped around my waist in a crushing grip. "FUCK!" I nearly fell over, looking over my shoulder to see what had attacked me. "Fluttershy? The fuck?"

"You're alive!" She squealed, her muzzle digging into my back. "You're awake!"

"Uhh...yeah. I guess I am." This was unbelievably awkward. "So...I hear you poisoned me?" Aaand I just made it MORE awkward.

"It was an accident." That voice was familiar...I turned back to face the mare it came from, my expression turning neutral.

"Twilight." Okay, look around for an escape route, but don't make it obvious.

"She meant to calm you down, not poison you. It was a mistake." Twilight insisted, staying remarkably civil. What're you playing at...?

"I heard I was pumped with enough tranquilizer to kill a few ponies."

"Four."

"My point exactly." I nodded, arms crossed. "So Doctor Horse wasn't lying." I'd read his nametag. Fucking pony names...

"Charlie's the best doctor in Ponyville," Twilight said, "he wouldn't lie to a patient.

Charlie Horse? Seriously, fucking...Charlie Horse? That's hilarious.

"Right...So!" I clapped my hands, leaving them together. "How can I help you?"

"Twilight wanted to study you so she'd stop being such a crazy-pony." Oh hey, Spike was here.

"Spike!" Twilight groaned, before sighing in frustration. "That's...not wholly inaccurate. But since you're awake, maybe I could interview you instead?"

"Seriously? ...Fine." Not like I had anything better to do. "Your place or mine?"
-----

I sat in the library, on a stool that only came halfway up my shin. I rested my chin on my knees, staring flatly at Twilight. "Well?"

She cleared her throat, shuffling through a few pieces of paper. "Alright...first, what does your...diet usually consist of?"

"Seriously? That's what you're worried about?" Fucking ponies... I sighed and tried to formulate a response. "Humans can eat pretty much anything we like. Fruits, vegetables, nuts, meat, fish..." I shrugged. "We each have our preferences. Personally, I could eat Italian every day. Fucking love pasta."

Twilight shuddered, licking her lips. "And...where do you get your meat?"

"Chicken, turkey, pretty much any large bird." Twilight looked simultaneously relieved and sickened. "Cow, pig, some people eat sheep. Pretty much anything that doesn't talk." And now it was just sickened.

"What do you mean 'doesn't talk'?!" Twilight shouted, shooting to her hooves. "Cows are just as intelligent as ponies, what kind of mon-"

"In your world, yes." I held up a hand, silencing the ranting mare. "Which is exactly why I haven't tried eating any here. In my world, humans are the only intelligent species. Cows, pigs, sheep, even horses and ponies are about as smart there as the average doorknob." I would've gone with 'sapient', but since the word came from 'homo-sapiens', I doubted they used it.

"You mean sapient?" Fuck you too, Twilight.

I sighed and ran my hand down my face. "Yes, Twilight, 'sapient'." I raised an eyebrow. "That word comes from the scientific name for humans, how do you even have it?"

"Sapiens Equus Minisculus, the ancient Equestrian name for ponies." Twilight muttered, visibly trying to calm herself down.

"Breathe, Twilight." I moved to stand, but she shrieked and shot into the air, hovering by the ceiling. I slowly sat back down, and after a couple minutes so did she.

"Maybe we should move on with the interview..." She muttered, gathering her tossed about papers in her magic. "Next is...I hear you talk about somepony named 'God' a lot. Is she your version of Celestia?"

I openly laughed. "No, no, not even close. God's just an imaginary creator of the world. Or at least if he is real, he's been telling me to go fuck myself for the last few years." I shrugged. "I just say it because it feels good to blame something other than myself."

"Odd...I'd never talk about Celestia like that." Twilight thought out loud. "You called it a 'he'. So your species follows a male leader?"

"I just told you, God isn't real. But yeah, most leaders in human society are men. Or were, at least. Women are starting to catch up."

"So you're patriarchal?" I nodded. "And what about your mating habits, do you form herds, or just get together during mating-season?"

I blinked. What... I cleared my throat and continued. "Most humans like to think we're monogamous and mate for life, but it usually doesn't happen. We get distracted easily." I shrugged. "When a man or woman finds out their lover's been unfaithful, it usually means the end of the relationship." I chuckled bitterly. "If they get married before it happens, the woman gets to take the man's house and half his stuff."

"...Uh huh...did you ever have a...lover?"

I stood and made for the door. "I'm done here."

"Wait!" The door glowed in a magenta aura, and I heard the lock click into place. I turned to glare at her, my cloak beginning to shift in an invisible breeze. For a moment I was a bit confused at the suddenly animated garment, but a faint buzzing, scratching in the back of my mind reminded me to not think about it.

Everything is fine.

"You do realize that you're locked in here with me, not the other way around."

"Just answer the question, then you can leave." Twilight pressed, glancing between me and the cloak. "Did you have a lover?"

I closed my eyes and sighed, slumping slightly. "Yeah...I did."

Click.

Without another word, I walked through the open door and out of the library. Hopefully for good.
-----

Once back in the hospital, Nurse Redheart who I still have yet to skullfuck led me back to my room. Once inside, she closed the door without a word, leaving me with just my thoughts and my neighbor.

"It's a Hell of a thing, ain't it?" I said, looking at the curtain hiding them from view. The heart-monitor was beeping too quickly for them to be asleep. I still didn't expect a response, but having a captive audience was better than talking to myself. "Spend your whole life getting shat on, fucked over, and beat up, then what does life decide to throw at you? Cancer." I chuckled to myself, barely stopping the laughter from escalating. "Motherfucking cancer! And you know the funniest part? Even if you fucking ponies have some magical cancer-cure, I'll bet money that I'll never see it. Just one last great 'fuck you' from Equestria."

I knew what that ache in my abdomen was. I knew why I was pissing blood. I knew why I was craving sleep after a fucking week-long coma.

I'd gone through it all before.

"Well fuck you too, Equestria!" I shouted, eyes wide and grin manic. "Fuck Celestia, fuck Luna, fuck Twilight, fuck Pinkie, Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, and fuck Rainbow Dash!" I giggled, feeling something wet roll down my cheek. "I don't even know you...but you know what?" I threw back the curtain, "fuck you too!"

Oh...ohohohohohoooo what have we here? "...Hello, Rainbow."

Rainbow Dash laid in the bed, squirming as far away from me as she could. A respirator was hooked up to an endotracheal breathing-tube like my own, and her neck was wrapped in a brace. I chuckled darkly, soaking in the feeling of opportunity.

"You know...I think I know why you did what you did," I started, tracing a finger down the hose leading to her breathing tube. "Being up here, out of reach of the little pissants down below, powerless to stop me...it is empowering." I leaned down until I was right by her face, my mouth by her ear. "I could do absolutely anything to you...anything I wanted." My hand clamped down on the hose, cutting off her oxygen.

I held it for several seconds, watching Rainbow start to panic and shake against the mattress. Her chest heaved as she tried to take in air that just wasn't there.

I let go. Rainbow took in lungfulls of life-giving oxygen, quickly settling down. She continued to tremble slightly, looking up at me with a terrified, confused expression. I scowled. "So, given that, do you know why you're going to live?"

She tried to shake her head. It was almost imperceptible, but I caught it. I grabbed her mane and hissed, "because I'm not like you." I sat up, glaring balefully at the terrified, bedridden pegasus. "Now... I want you to remember this moment. I want you to think long and hard about all the things you've put me through these last three years. I want you to think about all the things I could do to you...And I want you to thank me for not being sadistic enough to give you exactly what you deserve."

My expression morphed into a sickeningly-sweet smile, and I gave her a quick scratch behind the ear. I turned and walked back to my own bed, pulling the curtain closed before climbing in. "Sweet dreams, Rainbow Dash."

Author's Notes:

Much thanks to Asmodaeus for his contribution to this chapter.