I was somewhat surprised by the scene I caused just by walking through Canterlot. I'd never seen such blatant cowardice, let alone because of me. At least the Ponyville ponies had the decency to chase me away instead of running around in circles. This was just obnoxious, and I was in no mood for the headache the screaming was giving me.

"THE HORROR! THE HORROR!"

I took a deep breath and bit my tongue, walking towards the castle. Just shut up and keep moving, it'll all be over soon...

It was my luck that all of Canterlot's roads inevitably ran to the castle. All I had to do was follow mine and I'd get there relatively unmolested.

Thwap!

Yep, just keep calm and ignore the annoying stick.

Thwap! "Begone, beast!" Thwap!

...

Thwap!

Jason's gonna have to smack a bitch. I turned and reached for whatever was hitting me, grabbing what looked like a saber from a unicorn's levitation. The blade bit into my palm from how tight I was clenching my fist, but it didn't break the skin. Dull. From the rattling, it'll probably fall apart if I hold it wrong. I turned my unimpressed gaze to the shaking stallion, frozen in place.

I closed my eyes and took a deep, hissing inhale, exhaling and directing my irritated stare back to the terrified pony. "This yours?" It was a stupid question, he had a very obvious empty sheath slung over his barrel. Still, I wanted to give him a chance to walk away. Not quite sure why. Maybe I'm just a really nice guy.

The stallion gulped and raised his head. "It is an ancient family heirloom, passed to me from my father, and his father before him! It has slain many a beast, monster!"

No it hadn't. A sword like this couldn't slay butter. I'd seen these at malls and flea-markets back on Earth. If I was right, then one sharp bend over my knee should—

Snap!

"Bwa-bu-bu...b-but how?!" The stallion sputtered, glancing between the blade and handle which had suddenly been liberated from each other. I bit my lip to keep from grunting, dropping the pieces to the ground and turning to walk away.

I decided to keep quiet and continue walking. I still had a princess to talk to.
-----

For the first time in what felt like forever, all of Twilight's friends were together in the same room. Despite the... tension between them, all five had agreed to accompany her to speak to Celestia. And while Rainbow Dash and Rarity were the only ones who mirrored her understanding of the trouble Equestria could face, none of the others had commented on her dislike for the human.

Nevertheless, she still felt like they were drifting away from her. And it hurt. Pinkie's sullen, hostile mood was by far the most jarring, but Applejack's look of disappointment and utter disgust twisted the knife deeper. Even Fluttershy had been driven back into her shell, staying as far away from the group as she could without being too noticeable and refusing to speak unless spoken to.

"Please, Princess...I wouldn't come all the way here unless this was urgent!" Twilight pleaded. "We need to organize a search-party and track down the human before he causes any more trouble. We need to hurry!"

Princess Celestia's expression was unreadable, a poker face perfected through millennia of politics. After a moment, she nodded. "A search-party will be formed. I will have the guard comb all of Equestria if I have to."

Twilight grinned and nodded, "thank you Prin—"

"But not for the reasons you've mentioned."

Twilight's smile turned to a confused, somewhat apprehensive frown. "...Why not?"

Celestia let a small frown show through her mask. "I may have only known the human for a day, but he hardly seemed the type to cause trouble. He was enchanted by Equestria from the moment he arrived. If he truly is 'on the loose' as you say, I doubt he is so of his own will."

Twilight blinked, even more confused than before. "Only for a day? But you told me he was a dear friend!"

Celestia's frown turned just as confused, but before she could respond, the doors were thrown open. A scrawny, weathered man walked through, bare except for a grimy, muddy towel haphazardly draped around his bony hips. Dark ropy hair nearly obscured shadowed eyes, and the scruffy human had a seemingly permanent scowl. "Princess! We need...to..."
-----

I threw open the throne-room doors as dramatically as I could, storming through with a purpose. "PRINCESS!" I bellowed, making sure my voice carried. "We need...to...uhh..." I was suddenly and painfully aware of the other occupants of the room. In particular, a certain blue one. Who looked ready to charge.

Oh, fuck me.

I had only a split second to react. I slammed the doors shut and walked back where I came from, just as a rumbling THUD made the door shake, followed by angry muffled shouts. I quickened my pace to a stiff speed-walk, muttering a mantra of "No, no, no, no," taking a turn up a staircase as soon as I could.

Maybe if I get out of her line of sight, I'll—

The voices became much clearer as the door was opened, one voice in particular getting closer very quickly.

Oh FUCK! I leapt up the stairs two and three at a time, tearing off into the first hall I saw. My bare feet slapped against the stone floor with every step, blood roaring through my ears so loudly I could scarcely hear anything else. I could practically feel Rainbow's breath on my neck, inwardly thanking whoever was listening that I had the advantage in winding, cramped hallways.

Still, I didn't dare try and hide. I didn't dare turn back. My jumbled mind couldn't put together a clear picture of what would happen if I was caught, but I had enough experience to know that it would be bad.

I continued running, I'm not sure for how long. Several times I was certain I'd felt the breeze from a pair of wings, but had been too terrified to turn around to check. My heart felt like it was trying to break out of my chest, and I could feel my body trembling through the exertion of running for my life. My breath was coming in ragged gasps, until I ducked into an open door and slammed it behind me. Locking the knob and pressing my back to the wood, I slid down to the ground.

Christ, I was tired... I pressed my head into my hands, ignoring the violent tremors running through my body, "J-just leave me ALONE!" I shouted, curling my body slightly when the door shook from a heavy blow.

I knew I couldn't run anymore. I didn't want to. I shakily stood just as I heard the wood start to give, making my way to a large window. I slid the glass aside, and stepped out onto a small stone balcony. The chill of the high-altitude bit my skin, but I didn't have the energy to react. I looked down at the ground, the buildings and roads looking more like a play-set than a full city. I could hardly make out the ponies on the street, faint dots against the ground. "Fuck..." I grit my teeth and screwed my eyes shut. "FUUUUUUUCK!!!"

The door splintered open, and I turned around to greet my pursuers. Crouched low with wings spread was, of course, Rainbow Dash. Applejack stood behind her, looking wholly uncomfortable. Twilight and Fluttershy followed soon after, each looking far more winded than the previous two. There was no sign of the others.

"Wait until the princess sees I caught the human all by myself!" Rainbow crowed, giving a positively vicious grin. I took a step back, my back bumping into the balcony ledge. I gripped it for dear life.

"N-no...wait..." Twilight wheezed, getting her breath under control. "Just capture him so we can send him back where he came from!"

I decided to interject, however weak my voice was. "I can't go back. Ever. That was the deal." I turned towards the rail and hoisted myself up until I was balanced on top, slowly turning towards the ponies.

The telltale clip-clop of hooves on stone made my eyes jerk up to meet the orange mare, her Stetson held down over her chest and eyes pleading. "Jason, ya aint gotta do this...Ah can take ya back to the farm! Would ya like that? Ah'll cook for ya every day, ya aint gotta lift a hoof!"

I shook my head and closed my eyes. "You just don't get it, do you?" I gulped and opened my arms. "There is no going back. If I don't end it, it'll never end."

I tilted my head back and allowed myself to drop.

Falling, especially from a high place, isn't entirely unpleasant if you just let go. The weightlessness and wind rushing past you is almost therapeutic, in a way. As long as I didn't open my eyes, I could pretend it was all a dream. That I was just skydiving, something I'd always wanted to try but never had the guts to go through with.

A faint smile wormed its way onto my face. Finally, finally it was over...

Except it wasn't. A golden light filtered through my eyelids, and I felt my body jerk violently as I was halted in midair. An unpleasant warm, tingling sensation enveloped me, and when I opened my eyes, I saw myself slowly rising back towards the castle. No, no, no, NO! "LET ME GO! LET ME GO GOD DAMN YOU!" I thrashed and swung my fists ineffectually, even as I was deposited onto the stone floor.

I heard more than saw Celestia walk towards me. A large, white feathered wing came down over my shoulders, but I slapped it away and staggered to my feet. My hands clenched and relaxed almost against my own will, and my breath came in short, shaky huffs between clenched teeth. "Don't touch me!"

To her credit, Celestia didn't flinch. Retracting her wing, she took a step forward. "It doesn't have to be like this. We can help, if you—"

"Fuck you!" I snarled. "After everything that's happened, you think I want your help?"

"HEY!" And suddenly, magenta eyes were glaring at me from a nose away. "Nopony talks that way to the princess!"

I growled and reared my fist back, but before I could let it fly, the pegasus was tugged out of reach by Celestia's magic. The alicorn's expression was clearly a mask of calmness, trying to placate me. It didn't work. "What do you want, Jason?"

It took me a second to form a response. In the three years I'd been here, I'd hardly had time to focus on that. At first I wanted to be accepted. Hell, up until a few months ago I'd hoped it could happen. But now... "I want to be left alone. I don't want to see you or your ponies again as long as I live." But surely she wouldn't agree to something like that.

"Deal." ...What? "On one condition." There we go. "Stay in Canterlot for one month. I'll send these ones back to Ponyville. You will be given a room in the castle, and I will personally oversee your rehabilitation."

I bit my lip. A month in the castle? Therapy? What did Celestia think she was doing? It would only delay the inevitable. Then again...it would only delay the inevitable. If she kept to her word, then I'd be free to go after, and she couldn't do shit.

I really had no choice. I could jump again, but she'd just catch me. Again.

"...Fine. One month."

"Wait-wait-wait...you're really gonna let him loose in Canterlot?!" Rainbow rounded on Celestia. "What if he takes off? Or hurts somepony?"

"I have to agree, Princess." Twilight voiced, trying to remain calm. "He is clearly very unpredictable. There's no way to make sure he won't go berserk."

"Fuck you too, nerd." I grumbled.

Celestia raised a hoof to silence us before continuing. "Should he cause any harm to any pony or property, he will be held responsible. However, seeing as most of his time will be spent with either my sister or myself, the chances he will have the opportunity are slim."

A couple years ago, the prospect of meeting Princess Luna would have made me giddy. As it was, I rolled my eyes and continued my grumbling.

Fucking ponies...