“So, I’ve bared my soul and told you one of the darkest stories my mind has conjured up. Anyone else want to share, or am I the only mental sinner here?”

Luna looks at me. “You all know of my fall. Speaking it again will do nothing here, I think.”

Celestia looks around the table at the ponies and sighs. “When I was younger, much younger, I partook in medicinal herbs, smoking them regularly.”

That got me. “What? The Princess of the Sun was a stoner‽ So, how often did you get... baked?” My mood has definitely improved

“... There were several mornings the sun rose red and sluggish.” I fight back the urge to burst out in laughter. Celestia got so high, the sun was hit by the secondhand smoke!

Pinkie had no problem laughing, though, and I see that Celestia’s cheeks are slightly pinkish, likely from embarrassment. Luna join in with Pinkie’s mirth, and it’s a little bit before they stop and look serious-ish again. Pinkie looks around. “Weeeell, once I took an entire cake that was a big order, and ate it all by myself, and had to make an entire new one by morning, so the Cakes wouldn’t notice, and I never told them, but they noticed the big dip in their supplies and I felt really bad about it for a few years, especially in the week after because I couldn’t eat sugar without throwing up.” Everyone blinks, even the changelings. It takes a moment for the entire paragraph to sink into my brain, and I know I get it faster than everyone else. Mainly because I can see their faces begin to go from confused, to upset, to aghast, to mirthful.

“Pinkie, you are so crazy!” This is really helping me get over my vision, even if what I mentally did was much worse. I wonder what kind of dirt Rainbow Dash has...

One by one, we all turn to look at Twilight, who sinks down into her chair at the attention. “Well, Twilight? Have you anything to add to this pile of embarrassments and fallacies?” Luna asked.

Twilight squeaked and shook her head, hiding beneath the edge of the table. I chuckle. “Well what do you expect? She’s such a rules lawyer, the worst she’s probably ever done was jaywalk!”

All the ponies turn to me. “What’s jaywalk mean?” Right, no cars.

“Eh, forget it, it’s a human thing. Sorry, I keep forgetting how... ‘advanced’ this place is.” I didn’t have the heart to tell them their technological advances were stupidly simple comparatively speaking.

Luna sighed. “How about I make a deal. If I tell an embarrassing secret, you will tell us yours. Is this acceptable, Twilight Sparkle?”

Twilight mulls this over, finally gulping and nodding. “I- I, ah... well, once, I checked out a book from the library at school, and then...” She flushes with shame, and lowers her head as if expecting to be struck. “I returned it a day late.” She winces.

I pause. “Twilight, you really are as boring as you make me believe you are.” I give her a sarcastic slow clap. “Congratulations.”

Celestia looks at her student. “Oh, please, Twilight, I know for a fact that, during your freshmane year at the university, you cast the Want-it-Need-it spell on yourself at least twice.”

Twilight shrugs. “But that was resolved almost immediately! And there was no permanent harm done. Well, except to the statue of Lord Grindelwald the Blackhoof.”

Celestia sighs. “And the Want-It-Need-It spell is illegal for underage students Twilight.”

I give it a hand wave. “Sorry, but that doesn’t count, everyone does some stupid crap in school, no matter if it’s Elementary or college or anywhere in between. Heh, I still remember when I ‘accidentally’ set the Home Ec kitchen on fire...”

Twilight nods sadly. “I did that too. It’s the only class I ever failed...” She looks melancholy.

Luna rolls her eyes. “These are but simple things! While my sister was learning of the vigour-sapping properties of slow weed, I was inventing moonshine! Ah, ‘tis a pity it takes so long to distill.” She smiles wistfully. “I once got an entire minotaur delegation so drunk they-”

Celestia interrupts. “Nopony here wants to hear about you and your drunken escapades in Old Canterlot with a bunch of rowdy minotaurs. Long story short, they made a huge mess and annoyed several nobles.”

Luna snickers. “I also drew upon her face with ink. She did not notice until near midday.” Luna’s smile grew and so did her conspiratorial tone. “It was a most magnificent rendition of her rear, upon the entirety of her face.” She smirks.

I’m almost falling out of my chair. “Yes! See, that’s the kind of stuff that gets others interested.” I turn to Twilight. “One of these days, I should take you scrumping.”

“But the only orchards in the area are the Apples’! I could never steal from a friend.” Damn bookworm, steal all my fun...

“It’s only a bad deed if you get caught.” I say with a grin.

I look down a little, and see the nymph smiling as it looks back at me.

“What about you changelings? Supposing you are what you say you are, trustworthy and all that, what’s the worst you’ve ever done?”

The changelings exchange worried glances, before one of them, more angular and wider at the shoulders than the others, steps up to the challenge. “I’m not sure about the others, but... well, I once put a mare to sleep who wouldn’t stop hitting on me while I was replacing a noble for an afternoon, and made sure the spell would last at least forty-eight hours. I know that could’ve caused serious damage, but she was grappling me in truly inappropriate ways!”

“Well, I suppose that could count. Seriously, I’m glad some of us actually have some guts around here. You ponies are the cleanest bunch I’ve ever met! Keep in mind that’s not a bad thing, it just means your lives are boring.”

One of the others speaks up. “On a few occasions, we’ve had to steal food to keep from starving. Physical food doesn’t do much more than keep us from starving completely, though; and it doesn’t help the nymphs much at all. They can’t digest solids or liquids except royal jelly, and that’s a scarce commodity.”

I just give a halfhearted “Next.”

One of the others. “I only like replacing mares, even though I’m a drone.” The changeling looks embarrassed.

“Being a crossdresser, or, well, crossgender... whatever that would be called in your case, isn’t the same as something you’ve done. It’s just a kink.”

Pretty much everyone at the table nods in agreement, even the princesses. One of the other changelings speaks up. “Usually, when I get paid to impersonate a noble, I then act dumb or incompetent, which kinda ruins their reputation sometimes.”

“The point of this is that you do it for laughs, not to get paid. Seriously, you guys don’t have anything? Geez, aside from the princesses and sort of Pinkie, this place is goody-good central!”

The changelings shrugged. “None of us want to endanger the cluster. Illegal activities draw attention, and attention is bad for the cluster.”

I turn to Rainbow Dash. “Come on, you have to have something, right?”

She shrugs. “I cheat at cards, especially if there’s money on the table. Also, Twilight, you have an awful poker face.” She looks around, everyone looking a little shocked. “What? I’m not the Element of Honesty!”

I facepalm. “And this, right here, is why I miss Discord. You guys are so boring it’s not even funny! No wonder he likes messing with you all the time!”

The ponies all look at me like I’m crazy. Which I am, but still.

“Why do you think this is boring?” Twilight asks. “We’re just being law abiding citizens!”

One of the changelings pipe up. “And we get persecuted enough as it is.” The nymph appears to be climbing onto my shoulder with the speed of a charging snail.

“Uh... what are you doing now?”

The nymph stands on my shoulder, still not answering. The matron sighs. “I think she’s trying find a perch.”

“Well she certainly has good taste in appearances, but I’m not sure if I’m the best perch, being mobile and all.”

“Changeling hooves adhere naturally to surfaces.” The matron counters, still keeping a close eye on the nymph. The nymph has begun to slowly move towards standing on my head.

“It’s not gonna leave little hairs or some adhesive stuff, is it?”

“No, it’s native magic.” The matron does not seem at all comforted by the nymph’s progress, which is almost painfully slow. It must’ve taken the entire round of stories to get to my shoulder, and I barely felt it at all.

“So... why? What’s it supposed to be doing? And is asking for hugs the only thing it can say?”

“No, she is just shy. She’ll be like that until her third molt, I think.” Matron continues to watch, then freezes. Even though its eyes don’t appear to move, I can tell its holding its breath and watching me with fear.

“Third, huh? So this one’s gonna be a queen.”

The changeling nodded hesitantly, and the air grows tense, the entire assembly turning to look at the little changeling making glacial progress up the side of my head.

“You know she’s gonna be perfectly safe, she’s not gonna catch on fire or anything unless I want her to.”

The matron shifts her gaze lower, towards my face again, then flicks back to the little one. I guess that wasn’t too reassuring. I’d kind’ve hoped they’d gotten less scared of me with sharing their stories.

“So, what’s she going to do once she’s finished her little mountain climb?”

“Probably keep an eye out for rivals or siblings, and push them off you if they also climb up. You’re the highest point in the room right now.”

“Well, I don’t see what other changelings could fit on me, just saying.” I decide to just grab the nymph and stick her on my head. It’s hooves are getting a bit uncomfortable. With a feeling like I was pulling a pair of magnets apart, I realize the sticky hooves thing was completely true. Nevertheless, I place her on my head and just let her do what she will from there. I can feel her sit and raise her forelegs. Huh.

“So I guess the other conversation has dried up, what else can we talk about? Oh, how about where you changelings are from, if not the forest?”

“Well, we, that is this cluster, we’re travelers. Usually, we get run out of town for various reasons after a week or two. The Mantidae cluster has always kept on the move, ever since the destruction of Aroma.”

“So I assume that, if what the Everfree changeling said is true, that changelings in general are normally docile?”

“Well, yes. Attacking ponies doesn’t engender warm feeling; it’d be like spraying down an apple tree with weed killer.”

“Well, in my experiences, they didn’t attack, they infiltrated, kidnapped, and fed off the love others felt for those they replaced.”

“Wh- what? That’s forbidden! If they did that, there wouldn’t have been anything left afterwards!” the changelings all seem horrified.

“Well, the changeling I met did say that I pretty much saved them all when I squished Chrysalis under my foot.”

The changelings muttered to each other. “We’d heard rumors about the Tyrant Queen, but... why would the hive let her do that?”

“Well, I wasn’t really in a very cooperative mood considering my feelings on changelings at the time, but I think I recall something about mind control. Makes sense. The changelings I encountered acted like mindless pawns.”

Even Celestia and Luna blanched at this. “That is exactly the reason we banned mind-altering magics for the most part.” Celestia notes. I nod, understanding.

“Except, I wonder if it’s illegal for them. I’m not sure if the Everfree forest counts as being part of Equestria. If it isn’t... eh, that doesn’t matter, I scraped the Chrysalis goo off the bottom of my shoe months ago, it’s old news.”

The changelings look at me, and one puts a hoof on my arm. “Of course it’s illegal for changelings. We’re not a sovereign state, we’re citizens like any other pony.”

Twilight cleared her throat. “And the Everfree is a part of Equestria. As far as legality is concerned, it’s Crown Property.” She smiles around the table, pleased at her contribution.

“Well then, the Everfree hive is free but has no queen. What do we do now, then?” I look each other member of the group in the eyes in passing, turning my head as I do.

Next Chapter: Chapter 62 Estimated time remaining: 26 Hours, 43 Minutes