Login

Starlight in a Broken Vessel

by the-pieman

Chapter 211

Previous Chapter Next Chapter
Chapter 211

Upon trying to get Alex into the boat, we found that she’s too heavy for the little ship. Thankfully, she seems to be able to breath underwater, or that’d be a major problem, as opposed to a minor one. We still need to get back in time not to run out of supplies. I suppose we could try fishing, but some of the ponies aren’t willing to eat meat-based foods.

Well, all we have to do is get back, right? We don’t need to be in the kind of hurry that requires constant labor on the part of our pegasus team so that’s a bit of food that’s spared... Wait... “If we just, sent the flight team back to Ponyville, we wouldn’t have to feed them-”

“There’s no way an untrained flyer could make that journey.” Dash interjects, shaking her head. “It’s just too far, Anthony.”

“I thought you said these pegasi could, in shifts, make it for two weeks straight?

“Sure, with somewhere to rest. Do you see any clouds up there? They’d have to fly for almost a week on end before they reach land, Anthony. Nopony can do that, not even me. You need special training to do overseas flights without a ship, and there isn’t anypony who doesn’t live on the coast with one, I’d bet. Well, except maybe the Royal Couriers and the Rangers, but they’re special.”

“So you won’t eat from the sea and you won’t try to get back home on your own. What do we do? Eat our shoes?”

“Uh, I can’t eat metal, Anthony. And even then, our bigger problem is water. We suck too much water out of the air to make a raincloud, and it’ll get really bad, Anthony. There’s a reason there’s months of preparation for everything in the weather office back home. We’ll just have to... well, push it a little. It helps that the ocean’s weather is pretty wild on its own. We might be able to wrangle some natural winds or clouds along the way. We can go a day or two on low food if we need to.”

“No need!” the ship’s cook yells. “We’ve got plenty as it stands, with maybe a little extra for celebration!”

“Alright, that’s a load-off... so since we’re good there, I guess if we need drinking water we just get a bucketful from the ocean. So we’re-”

“Don’t drink seawater!” Myrna admonishes me. “And besides, last I saw, since I sleep in the cargo hold, we have plenty, along with both grog and rum.”

“First off, you are on the ship with the living boiling machine.” I enter my Heat form to accent my point. “Boiled water is safe water, even seawater. As for grog or rum, never had ‘em. Heard they’re dangerous.”

“Only if you have too much, or don’t like having fun.” one of the sailors tells me, passing by to the rear deck.

I shrug. “Alright then. So... since we aren’t in any kind of rush anymore, the trip will be about an extra half-week long I think. What do we do from now until then?”

“Idunno about you guys, but I’m taking a nap. Wake me in three days...” Rainbow walks below deck and presumably finds a place to sleep.

“Three days? She’s joking right?”

I hear a short chorus of laughter from the Ponyville flight team followed by a rather flat “No.”

“Okay then... So what do you guys do on long trips?” I ask, talking to another one of the sailor ponies.

“Normally? We drink and work. Sometimes, we sing. I heard you have an instrument; can you play?”

“Well, some of our human shanties are a little rough but good all the same... I got one.”

The sailors all seem to enjoy the song, moving a little faster and singing along to the chorus. Afterwards, they’re all smiling, and a few flagons of water are being passed around.

I call it a success, and it is a good song. Guess we’re just going to spend the trip partying, kinda. Sounds like fun to me. Last cruise ship party I was on was chaperoned by a bunch of ninth-grade teachers. This time ought to be fun.


So far, the trip back is way better than the way to the Dark Continent. We’re all alive, got some decent souvenirs, and we’re taking a refugee home with us. Things are looking up. I’m urged to play another song, apparently the human music isn’t too dark for these ‘rough and tumble’ sailor types.

Well if they don’t mind strained situations... Time for Æther Shanty.

My arms aching, back's breaking, legs aching, neck

And this whole ruddy ship is a huge creaking wreck.

As I play, it feels as if the waves rock the ship to the tempo, and a strong wind picks up at our backs, but otherwise the weather is perfectly clear and harmless.

We've flown ten thousand miles with this thorn in our sides

Though the wind's steady, strong with no clouds in the skies.

I’m worried the next verse might lead the ponies to do something stupid, but apparently they’re smart enough to sing along but not act it out.

The ropes creaking, ship's leaking, sails are on fire,

And this whole bloody ship could go up like a pyre.

Clearly not strangers to singing and dancing, everyone aboard is grinning and singing along, swaying with the lyrics or playing whatever instruments they happened to pack.

Crew's got smiles on their faces, but we've seen this before

No telling just now what we have in store.

The song continues and it certainly is a good mood, even if the music is a bit dark. But I suppose that’s the nature of sea shanties in the first place. In a sort of addition to the current festivities, a medium sized barrel of rum is rolled up onto the deck and iron mugs are passed around. That gives me an idea.

“Alright guys, this one’s a classic. Not sure if you know it but you’ll sure as hell remember it!”

What will we do with a drunken sailor?

What will we do with a drunken sailor?

What will we do with a drunken sailor?

Early in the morning!

Way hay and up she rises,

Way hay and up she rises,

Way hay and up she rises,

Early in the morning!

Shave his belly with a rusty razor,

Shave his belly with a rusty razor,

Shave his belly with a rusty razor,

Early in the morning!

This one gets a good amount of laughs.

Way hay and up she rises,

Way hay and up she rises,

Way hay and up she rises,

Early in the morning!

Put him in a long boat till he’s sober,

Put him in a long boat till he’s sober,

Put him in a long boat till he’s sober,

Early in the morning!

This ends with one of the deckhands being tossed into one of the spare rowboats, but not lowered into the water, just pulled out after the joke was played.

Way hay and up she rises,

Way hay and up she rises,

Way hay and up she rises,

Early in the morning!

Stick him in a barrel with a hosepipe on him,

Stick him in a barrel with a hosepipe on him,

Stick him in a barrel with a hosepipe on him,

Early in the morning!

Nobody seems to quite get the logic or joke behind this one, but the music keeps playing so the mood isn’t killed.

Way hay and up she rises,

Way hay and up she rises,

Way hay and up she rises,

Early in the morning!

Put him in the bed with the captain’s daughter,

Put him in the bed with the captain’s daughter,

Put him in the bed with the captain’s daughter,

Early in the morning!

Singing this particular verse gets one of the mares to walk past me and whack me in the face with her tail and all the other deckhands laugh like crazies.

Way hay and up she rises,

Way hay and up she rises,

Way hay and up she rises,

Early in the morning!

Thats what we do with a drunken sailor,

Thats what we do with a drunken sailor,

Thats what we do with a drunken sailor,

Early in the morning!

Way hay and up she rises,

Way hay and up she rises,

Way hay and up she rises,

Early in the morning!

Way hay and up she rises,

Way hay and up she rises,

Way hay and up she rises,

Early in the morning!

The crew is laughing and smiling at the end of the song. As with any sea shanty, it’s either goofy or dark, and the sailors like both.

Overall, we’re having a great time and I admit rum doesn’t taste anything like I imagined it would and I wouldn’t call it ‘great’ but it’s pretty good. With the huge world-threatening potential disaster alleviated, spirits are relatively high... and just about everywhere else. I may be wrong here, but it seems like ev- evevevryone is totally drunk off their asses and I’m left the only sane man.

...who put that mast in front of where I was walking? Why’s the floor standing upright?


I think I’m not drunk anymore... Okay so the floor is wobbly but I’m on a boat, that’s a given. It just seems a bit more wobbly for me than everyone else onboard. I walk up to Myrna who’s been drinking as long as I have but she’s not drunk somehow.

“Hey... hey I didn’t do anything stupid did I?”

“Define ‘stupid’, Anthony.” Myrna smirks at me.

“Moreso than my intentional idiocy.”

“Well... you put the moves on the main mast, but other than that, no. Also, does your face hurt? Because you’ve got a bit of a split lip from the ‘kiss’ you gave it.”

“Nah, I’ll be fine. Anyway uh... I wanted to talk to you. Scheri-” I shake my head. “Serious talk.”

Myrna shifts in place, putting her torso closer and clearing up part of her snake body. “Alright, sit and talk, then.”

I sit down and lean on her a bit. For balance. “Do you think you’re... losing?”

“Losing? Losing what?”

“The little competition with Anne. Over me. Do you think I spend more time with Anne than you? That I... like her more? Be honest.”

“Uh... you don’t really hang out with either of us. And I have my work, Anne is kinda shy all the time... I don’t think it’s much of a contest.”

“Yeah but... I’ve been kinda... short with you. I got to thinking that maybe you might take that as a sign that I don’t... y’know... like you like you.”

“Well... again, we don’t hang out a lot. You’re almost always doing some kind of adventure, or lazing around doing almost literally nothing. I mean, it’s like what I imagine TV characters do between episodes. The main characters go and do stuff, everyone else has their life go on... and let’s be honest here, just judging by the amount of stuff you get up to, you’re at least a foreground character. I’m pretty sure I’m in the background most of the time. I just don’t have the time to be interesting and... you only seem to go where things are interesting.” Myrna takes a deep breath. “Wow... I think I got a little off-topic.”

“Not too far. I get what you mean... you’re interesting to me.” It may be because I’m a bit tipsy, but right now, the fact that she has a mouth full of fangs doesn’t seem so important. A few moments later I’ve got one arm around her... eh... ‘waist’ and I’m practically sucking her lips off her face.

A few moments into it, and I feel her pull away. “Anthony, how much did you drink?” I hear her spit. “Your mouth tastes like cough syrup!”

“I’m sorry... I don’t have to kiss you but I can still... apologize, right?”

“It’s alright, Anthony. I do like you, but we just don’t get much time together. Life, y’know?”

“I’d like to spend more time with you... can I start now?” I put my other arm around her shoulders and sort of pull her on top of me, now laying down on her coils rather than sitting. “Please?”

“Heh, alright. But no wandering hands, ‘kay? I’ve got my honor to consider.” She says with a smile, leaning towards me.

“I’ll let my hands wander, but you tell me if you don’t like where they’re going. How’s that?”

Myrna smiles, and opens her mouth, but a metallic screech shakes us both. I cover my ears and try to stop the lingering ringing. With my head being a bit foggy still, that sound was really magnified. Or perhaps dulled. I fear my sober reaction if it’s the latter.

“The heck was tha’?” even my own voice sounds kinda ringy, but it clears up quickly and I can hear again.

“Wha- what are you two doing down here?!” I look up to see Anne, looking utterly devastated, in the doorway to the hold, more than half her normally human body shining bronze.

“Uh... well I was working on getting my fingers in Myrna’s hair, kinda wonder what would happen if the snakes got pettings...”

“That- that’s not what I heard you say,” Anne says.

“Okay, so my other hand was going to see how far down her ‘tail’ it could go before being torn off but-”

“You- you cad! I thought you cared!” Anne says, turning to leave.

“Wha- you agreed to this little competition! If you wanted some more y’know... intimate time with me, you just had to ask! The competition isn’t-”

“You think this is about sex? Is that all you care about; why you just jumped in bed with her? Because she’s easy?”

“Hey!” Myrna shouts, beginning to draw up, causing me to fall to the deck in the process.

“No, it’s because she’s willing. If you-”

“You just decided to jump the gun and wrap him in your slutty coils? Drag him away just so you could ‘win’?” Anne shouts, metallic edge in her voice making my ears ring again.

“Wait, what... no, you got this-”

“Maybe if you had made some moves, rather than just hiding in the forest, you’d have gotten somewhere, too! I’ve gotten a job, not just a damned hobby!” Myrna screams back, sliding across the planks towards Anne, who is now fully bronzed. One of the barrels of ballast tips over, revealing a series of stones, which powderize and begin to coat Myrna’s already formidable claws.

“Okay, stop, this isn’t-”

I’m cut off again as Anne screeches like a hawk. “I was trying to be a good person, not just a harlot throwing myself at him ‘cuz he’s the last man alive!”

“I thought I made it clear I hate the harlot-type already...” again, ignored.

“Yeah, but if you’d even tried, you might’ve gotten somewhere! Instead, you just sit and hide!”

Okay, that’s a fair point. She’s pretty much a wallflower.

“I’m shy, if you hadn’t noticed! It’s hard for me to express a- and emote and all those other e-words!” Anne says, wings straight as razor blades and twice as sharp as she takes a step towards Myrna, clearing the door but leaving twin cuts on either side.

“Okay, this is going too far, stop it! Do you remember the rules?”

In tandem, Anne shouts ‘stay out of this!’ as Myrna yells ‘shut up!’ at me.

I sigh. I’m gonna have to smack some sense into their heads. Unfortunately, it can only be done the hard way at this point. I stand up between them and hold my hands out to separate them, palms flaming as I push them both back, probably leaving some rather noticeable burn marks given the intentional amount of temperature I was giving off.

A metallic shriek and a hiss like the world’s biggest tire deflating greet my ears in response, and I feel a solid something impact my torso hard enough to knock the wind out of me and toss me off my feet.

“Don’t make me stop you the permanent way, girls. Or we’ll all regret it. I’m fairly certain none of you have ‘limb regrowth’.” I draw my sword to emphasize the point. Looking at the two of them, I see them sitting off to either side, both clutching their chests and expressions of pain on their faces. Myrna’s hand covers her burn, but I can see the slightly-warped handprint on Anne’s collar. “Are you going to get back to tearing each other’s throats out or whatever you were planning on doing?” Silence. “Good.”

I go up, request some water from the cook and get a bucket of water straight from the ocean. Salty, but colder than a shaved cat in the arctic. Two wet cloths gently applied to their burned areas and the girls are... well they don’t look better but they aren’t as bad. Both are definitely going to scar though.

“Can we please talk this out? Like civilized people? Anne, what’s gotten into you? You act like... Idunno, you act like you’ve already ‘got’ me and that now I’m cheating!”

“Y- you said you’d talk to us before you made any decision. To both of us. B-but then, you kissed me, a- and then you’re in here, but you never talk to me, you never come to visit...” Anne sniffles.

“I never said anything because I still hadn’t decided. A simple kiss and a potential fuck here or there isn’t going to make me just decide right then. I mean, okay yeah, my hormones are driving me fucking insane and get really hard to ignore and I gotta put a lid on that, but... the point I thought I made was that you two were supposed to make the advances. I can’t make a fair judge otherwise unless I give both of you exactly what I give to one. I don’t come and see you two that often because, well... when I’m not busy, I could go and see you but... I don’t because I figured this might happen. One of you thinking I’d ‘chosen’ behind their backs and it ends up with a fight. I explicitly said during the rules. If one of you hurts the other, you both lose and I find someone else.”

“You were gonna screw her, though!”

Myrna looks upset. “What? No he wasn’t, second base at best. I’m not a slut, Anne.”

“I honestly, as I’ve said three times now, didn’t expect to get laid during this trip. Did that just go in one ear and out the other? If Myrna really was that easy, just get us both tipsy and she metaphorically spreads her legs? Who the hell wants a girlfriend like that!?”

Anne and Myrna both look at me like I’ve grown a second head.

“Oh am I supposed to be a ‘guy’ and not want a romantic relationship, just some chick to wrap my dick around? Sorry to disappoint. Guess you’ve accidentally been fighting over a guy who’d rather, Idunno, go see a movie than sit at home and fuck.”

Myrna pauses for a moment. “Ah, you do realize that puts you well outside the ‘norm’, and you’ve never really said one way or another about that? At least when being serious.”

“Myrna, I have more than enough mental disorders for the media to consider me a thoughtless vegetable. I’m not normal! I mean... okay yeah, I could really use some release, but that’s all hormonal! I want a girlfriend who’s more than just a ‘girl’ but also a ‘friend’. A girlfriend. If we end up lovers later who’s to know, depends on what happens. I’ve just dealt with enough relationships going sour to make it a rule that unless there’s honest caring love there, I’m just gonna get used again!”

“Anthony, you may say you’re completely abnormal, but like every other guy I’ve met, you don’t talk about yourself. At least, not with me.” Myrna points out, Anne nodding in agreement.

“There isn’t much to tell though. Before coming here I was just a guy, just a kid. Yeah I was ‘different’ ‘cause I have stuff like autism and some crap happened in my childhood, but pretty much everyone has a story about the ‘things that fucked them up’. Talking about major events in my life doesn’t change them so I don’t bring them up unless asked. I’m not gonna just cry on your shoulders about how my mommy never loved me.” I pause. “Which is totally false, my mother loved me a lot and I loved her just as much, I only had family problems that considered my sister.”

“Well, that’s more about your past in two minutes than I’d heard in the year and a half since you met me.” Myrna says, crossing her arms under her breasts.

“As I said, everyone has their story. I don’t see the need to talk about it because I really don’t see many times when it would just... fit. I mean, as I’ve said, romance was a big problem. You know why I try and push Rarity into dating Spike even though I say it’s her choice? Because I’ve been Spike. I know what it’s like to be in love and not sure if the girl even gives a shit about me and is just being nice to get stuff. Flash fact: she was! Rarity doesn’t act like Kelly did, so I’m pushing them together because I want to see what would have happened if I wasn’t duped! So now do I sit down and talk about all the other times life shat on me?”

Myrna and Anne look at each other, and Anne sighs. “No, not right now. We all need some time to... calm down a bit. We’ll get together after the voyage, and try to... figure things out. Alright?” Anne looks at me pleadingly.

“Yeah, just remember that this contest isn’t about who gets in bed with me first. And to be fair, Anne. I’ve already made out with you on pony-Valentine’s day. Comparatively, I’ve given Myrna squat.”

“Anthony, we’re... not really competing like that.” Myrna says. “I’m not sure about Anne, but I thought you were joking, for the most part.” She pauses for a moment. “Wait, you made out with her on valentines day?”

“Okay, maybe ‘competition’ is the wrong word but I can’t think of a better one. The point is, you both deserve a chance because I like you both, but I want it to be fair, I don’t want the ‘loser’ to be feeling like she got the short stick. I’ve never done this before but it seems like the only fair way.”

“Well, that’s not how dating really works.” Myrna sighs. “Listen, I’ll be honest; you’re not really going to have as much to do with us deciding who’s going to try dating you. Especially because, well... as I said earlier, you’re just not around that often. And, as clingy as I tend to be, pretty much every time you show up around me, you’re the one getting grabby first.”

“Yeah... can’t help it. ‘S what started most of my relationship issues, but... Can’t help it, I like things like cuddling and talking and all that ‘not-manly’ stuff. Guess it’s true that most girls would rather have a wrestler than a teddy bear.”

Myrna makes a noncommittal noise. “Eh, I would like someone who can, uh, match me physically. But at the same time, I like being able to talk to you.”

Anne speaks up as well. “I don’t mind the ‘not manly’ stuff. It’s nice.”

I sit down and a thought runs through my head and I laugh out loud, rather amused by the thought, now more apparent than it ever was before. “I’m the gay best friend who’s secretly-not-secretly straight.”

Both of the girls giggle a little, but both look and sound a little worn out.

“Alright... we can clear the air on this in the morning, I’m going to bed.” I move over to the little bed in the corner made for me and lay down, but not feeling sleepy, just tired.

“Yeah... I think I’m going to sleep a little, too.” Myrna says, and I’m guessing that Anne agrees, too, as the door to the hold closes. Sleep time.

Next Chapter: Chapter 212 Estimated time remaining: 35 Minutes

Return to Story Description

Login

Facebook
Login with
Facebook:
FiMFetch