I get back to the throne room to see Discord relaxing in his hammock. “Welcome back, Anthony! I got bored so I came back here and have been entertaining myself.”

I notice that the guards usually stationed here have had their armor replaced with balloon armor. I admit, the ‘serious business’ faces they have while wearing balloon suits is pretty funny. It’s not long before everyone else comes in.

“So what are we gonna do about Twilight?”

“If you ask me, I might be able to help...” Discord grins.

“Uh-uh, no way!” RD butts heads with Discord. “You’re gonna leave her alone!”

“Well then my little pony, what’s your plan?”

“Uh...”

I sigh. “Settle down, she needs time or psychiatric help as I suggested, things none of us can give her. Let’s just relax, okay?”

“But... what’re we gonna do?” AJ asks. “The next train ta Ponyville ain’t arrivin’ fer another four hours...”

“Ooh! Ooh! Let’s play a game!”

“I like games!”

“What are we playing?”

I gotta say, they’re right, I can’t tell a clone from the real Pinkie at all. I’m struck by an idea. “I know what we can all play. But it’s not for the weak.”

“Ha! I can take anything you throw at me.” Dash boasts.

I grin. “Alright, I’ll go first then. Rainbow Dash, Truth or Dare?” She nods but nobody says anything.

“So which is it Anthony?”

“Whaddya mean? You’re supposed to pick truth or dare and then I decide what I want from there. If you pick truth I can make you confess something, but I can’t dare you, or vice-versa. I choose what happens, but you get to choose what you want to be forced to do. You cannot dare someone to tell the truth either.”

All the ponies look at each other. “That’s...” AJ starts

“A lot better than the way it’s usually played.” Rarity finishes.

“Usually Truth or Dare is played by just... daring somepony to do whatever you want and then they get a turn forcing the other pony to do whatever they want or confess something.” Fluttershy explains.

I decide to clarify. “Nonono, this is played as a party game. So once Rainbow Dash chooses, I tell her what to do or ask her a question depending on her choice. Once she’s done, it’s her turn and she picks her next target.”

RD eyes me. “This is gonna be easy-peasy. Dare!”

I grin. “Discord, can I have some help? I need some stuff for this.”

Discord returns my grin, talons poised to snap. “What is it you need?”

I clear my throat. “I need a large jar and a mixing spoon.” Once I have that, I continue. “Okay, this stuff is going to go into the jar: triple-frozen/thawed spinach, juice from a can of asparagus, some wet flour, ground up earthworms and beetles for protein, blended sardines, bleu cheese for the smell, spicy mustard to give it some zest, chunky peanut butter to make it thick, prune juice for a little surprise later, and ten tablespoons of vinegar.” Everyone else looks grossed out, but I take the mixture and stir it with the mixing spoon. “I call this little treat ‘The Stuff’ and is by far my favorite recipe for revenge.” Then I hand the roughly liter-and-a-half jar of my vile concoction to Rainbow Dash. “Drink.”

“What? N- no, that’s... that could make me sick, no fair!”

I roll my eyes. “There is nothing unnatural in this, it’s disgusting yeah, but it will not hurt you. Unless you’re allergic to peanuts or something. Besides, you said this would be easy, so drink up, Dashie.”

Everyone stares at Rainbow Dash as she holds the jar of Stuff, Rarity staying as far away from the jar as possible like magnetic repulsion. Shakily, she lifts the jar to her mouth and cringes as she begins to drink the horrifying concoction.

For a second, she looks grossed out. Then disgusted. Then she collapses forward retching and slightly twitching.

“You... *pant* are- *hurk* horri- *gasp* horrible!”

I roll my eyes. “What’s your problem, Rarity? You aren’t the one who still has half a jar to drink.”

Rarity keeps her disgusted look, cringing as Dash shakily reaches for the jar again to complete her accepted task. This is glorious.

A few minutes later, Rainbow is on the floor, panting and trying to scrape her tongue off with her hooves. To little effect of course. “G- guuuh...”

I turn to Discord. “I think she wants some more-”

“No! *-ack* You... you’re s- *ulp* sick!”

“Actually, I’m crazy. You’re the one being sick at the moment.”

Dash stares at me for a moment with a look that makes me imagine she’s trying to give me a telepathic lobotomy, but then her eyes get as big as dinner plates. “I.. I uh, Igottago!”

Rainbow Dash bolts out of the room, leaving a prismatic blur, a loud whoosh, and more retching as she groans in what I assume is her first experience with the aftereffects of prune juice.

After about half an hour, Rainbow flies back in. Rather, hovering above the ground as Fluttershy rubs her back. I grin. “Wow Rainbow, you look like shit!”

“F- fuck you...” I roll my eyes at the half-hearted delivery of the insult... but I also gotta give her credit. It doesn’t look like The Stuff ever actually made her lose her lunch, just gag. Tough pony, this one.

“Alright sugarcube, yer turn, who’s it gonna be?” AJ drawls as a pair of Pinkies are dressed up in hazmat suits to dispose of the jar, one of them swearing she saw something move in it. This is fully possible of course, because the worms or beetles might not have been fully mashed. Upon hearing this bit of news, Rarity had a minute long coughing fit. Dash looks around at our little circle trying to decide. Her eyes go immediately for me, but all it takes is my mischievous grin and she rethinks her target. After all, if I pass, it’s my turn again.

“Pinkie!”

“Which one?”

“Uh... That one.” Dash points a hoof at the Pinkie in the middle of their little semicircle. “Truth or Dare?”

“Uhm... Truth! I can tell you anything, you’re all friends!”

I shrug off the rule misuse, deciding that with present company, it doesn’t matter who’s asking or around to hear the answer once you’ve picked ‘truth’. Must be part of the pony rules from the ‘challenger decides everything’ aspect.

“So whaddya wanna know, Dashie?”

“Uh... Hmmm...” Yeah, figured this might be a bit of a problem. With a tight-knit bunch of friends like these, one being the element of Honesty, I figure the only one who still has secrets here is Rarity. Oh well, Rainbow has to think of something to ask. “Well, one of your granmas was a vampony hunter, the other one is a... thing from Wunderland. What else has your family done? Why did your parents end up rock farmers after all the other neat stuff?”

Okay, credit where it’s due, that’s a good question.

“Well...” Pinkie thinks for a moment, as do the other two. “Momma Pie is a baker, and daddy Pie is a geological agriculturalist. That means he farms rocks. His pappy was an explorer, but momma Pie’s mom and dad were both in the Guard, though for different parts, and great granny-pie on momma Pie’s mom’s side was a vampony hunter, and she had foals with an architect and a high mage, but momma Pie says my great aunts are kinda stuck up. Oooh, and great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-granny Biscuit on my momma’s momma’s daddy’s momma’s daddy’s daddy’s momma’s uncle was a general who served in the post-unification military of Celestia! We’ve still got his battle hammer; daddy uses it on really stubborn rocks.”

“Uh...” I have no idea what to say about that. Most of the others here appear to be suffering a similar level of information overdose.

“Alright, truth or dare, Rarity! Which is it going to be?”

“Uh... truth?”

“Do you ever wear stallion’s underwear?”

“What? No... I haven’t... how is this relevant...?”

The Pinkie shrugs. “Eh, just wanted to know. I heard a lot of fancy types like to ‘experiment’ with stuff, and I figured since you’re so fascinated with clothes-”

“No. I haven’t and I shant in the near future if I can help it...”

The Pinkie to the left raises a hoof. “Are you suuuuuuure? I think you might like it!”

“It’s not your turn, it’s mine! Subject change!” Rarity says hurriedly, avoiding everything about the subject. That said, imagining Rarity in a pair of boxer shorts is rather funny. Rarity darts her eyes around the room looking for a target and rest on me. “Anthony. Truth or dare?”

“Uhhhh...” Eh, what’s the worst that can happen? “Dare.”

Rarity hops up happily, a mood swing reminiscent of a sugar-high Pinkie. “Well, it’ll have to wait a bit, but some time when Twilight is feeling better, I’d like to use you as a model for some of my work. There aren’t many stallions in Ponyville who’d fit what I need, and you’re absolutely perfect for it.” She grins. That’s not so- wait, stallion? When the realization hits me, Rarity’s smile gets wider and the others have a giggle at my imminent transformation and hostage-dressing.

“Fine... My turn... Applejack.” All eyes turn to the farmer as she decides.

“Hmmm...” She grins. “Ah pick truth.”

Okay, I think we all saw that coming. I think of something that I could still ask that would be interesting to hear... I got it! “When Granny Smith kicks the bucket and you own Ponyville, what are you gonna do?”

AJ’s face goes pale, and the other ponies give shocked gasps. Discord, meanwhile, summons a bucket of pink popcorn.

I decide to explain for the possibly unaware. “When Celestia came by a while ago and got stoned off Rarity’s pot-brownies, she let a little tidbit slip. Granny Smith owns all of Ponyville and when she’s six-feet-under, AJ becomes baroness. The mayor’s boss as it were. So what would you do? Make some changes?”

AJ’s expression falls further. “Ah- ah don’t know. Why would ah think about that?”

I shrug. “Well, I mean, it’s gonna happen someday. Might as well be prepared for it and all, figure out what to do now so you aren’t in charge and clueless, y’know?”

“Ah... Ah guess... but mah answer still stands. Ah have no clue, cuz Ah haven’t thought much on it. She’s been here all mah life, after all.”

I nod. “Alright, I think that’s enough. Your turn AJ.”

“Uh, Pinkie. No, the other one. The other other one, dagnabbit, Ah’m pointin’ at ya!”

The Pinkie in question giggles. “Uhm, how about truth?”

“Anthony, I think you scared everypony away from the ‘dares’ part of this game.” Discord says. I can’t tell if he’s being sincere or condescending.

“Can’t help it. My brain’s wired for revenge.” I shrug. “But fine. No dares that could cause vomiting or... enhanced bowel movements.”

“Jerk.” Rainbow Dash mumbles, rubbing her stomach a bit.

“I swear, I will hold off on any ‘serious’ dares.” I say, holding my hand up in typical ‘oath’ style, with my thumb holding my pinkie so the middle three fingers stay up alone. “Scout’s honor.”

I get a few weird looks, and all three Pinkies and Dash giggle. I don’t get it.

“Well, partner, tell us... hmm... How do y’all tell th’ difference ‘tween th’ three of ya, anyway?”

“Well, I’m me, and that’s her, and that’s the other one!” all three of them chorus, each of them pointing at a different Pinkie for each title.

I roll my eyes. “Discord, paintbrush.” Once I’m armed with my art utensil I go up to the Pinkies and put a different symbol on each of their foreheads. One labelled with a ‘1’, the other getting an ‘A’ and ‘α’ for the last one. “There. Now we have a way to tell.”

Nobody seems to object this and so I guess it sticks. “So, uh, Pinkie α... your turn.”

“Discord!” Well that was quick.

The spirit ponders for a moment. “While I could easily accomplish just about anything you ponies could dream up, I choose truth. What do you want to ask the oldest being in existence? What sort of ancient truth would you like revea-”

“Who would you rather make out with? Twilight, or Fluttershy?” Dead silence. “Including tongue.” Pinkie α adds, a wide grin across her face, shared by the other two while the rest of the element bearers look on with intrigue, Fluttershy going completely red in the face.

Discord summons a grandfather clock attached to his relatively small paw and looks at it nervously. “Oh my, is it that late already? I’m sorry, but I must leave now!” Before any of us can grab him, he warps out leaving no trace.

I turn back to the group and smirk, tossing a small pouch into the middle of our circle. “Twenty Bits says it’s Sparkle!”

Rainbow fishes out a small bag of her own. “T’n’ty f’r F’tt’rshy.” She spits the bag out. “Twenty for Fluttershy. If anyone can ‘tame’ him, it’s her!” Dash says, nudging a quivering; thoroughly embarrassed Fluttershy.

I shrug. “Looks like it’s open for debate. Anyone else want to place their bets?”

Applejack ponders for a moment then chuckles. “Ten fer Twi ta win.” The coins clink down into the pile, followed by Rarity’s bet of “Fifty for Fluttershy.”

“R- Rarity, Rainbow, I’m not sure about-”

“Sixteen for Twilight!” Pinkie 1 and α shout simultaneously, dropping their money into the ring, Pinkie A putting her sixteen towards Fluttershy.

“Uhm... how would we even find out? I mean, Discord doesn’t seem like he’d say anything. How about we just all take our Bits back and-” Fluttershy is interrupted once more.

“C’mon Fluttershy, you throw some in for yourself too!” Rainbow urges her yellow friend, tossing some of her money into the pile. “She’s got this one no sweat! Twilight just annoys him, you should see how calm he is when he’s around Flutters here!”

Fluttershy squeaks out a response, which is cut short by Rarity. “I agree. She may not like the spotlight, but she is one of the prettiest ponies around, and would easily catch even a spirit’s eye!”

I shrug. “I’m not so sure. I mean, have you seen the way he and Twilight get on each other over the dumbest things? They act like a married couple already.”

Rarity opens her mouth for a rebuttal, but shuts it. “Okay, you have a point... but I’m still betting on Fluttershy.”

“Besides! She’s super snuggly!” Pinkies 1 and α squeeze Fluttershy in a big hug.

After a bit of time, things calm down and the eight of us relax, Discord still not returning. “So I dunno about you guys, but I’m kinda liking this aside from all the nobles. Celly’s job is annoying and boring, but it’s not difficult.”

“I think you don’t give her enough credit dear, though she is lucky to live in a place like this. You think I could get my boutique furnished with some things from here?”

I roll my eyes. “Sure, if it would fit. Most of this crap is supersized even for me. And the food... I swear Celestia must eat like a black hole.”

Rarity replies, “Casting magic takes a lot of effort, dear, I would image that raising the sun takes a truly monumental amount of energy. As such, her eating is perf-”

A loud bang rocks the room as the door is hurled open and a guard rushes in, looking frantic, cursing when he sees me. In the second it takes me to register the curse, he’s recomposed and speaks, sounding incredibly worried. “Sir, a Class-Four just made touch-down on the Dark Continent. I trust you’ve been briefed for your temporary leadership position in these matters, yes?”

“Uh... not really, but I’m good at filling in blanks. I assume you mean it’s another human, but I don’t know what Class-Four is. How would we get to the Dark Continent, and do we have any more accurate coords for the touch-down?”

“No, sir, we don’t. And yes, another human has touched down, and the class refers to their power levels. We should continue this conversation in a more secure location. Follow me.” The guard motions with a hoof.

“Just a sec. Rainbow, you come with me. When we have a better idea of what needs to happen, head to Ponyville and get Myrna and Anne. The rest of you, stay here and try to keep things going.” I turn back to the guard. “Alright, let’s go.”

Time to find out Celestia’s plans for the humans...

Next Chapter: Chapter 203 Estimated time remaining: 2 Hours, 50 Minutes