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Starlight in a Broken Vessel

by the-pieman

Chapter 178: Past the Breaking Point

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Past the Breaking Point

I am lying in wait for Twilight to come home. It’s a long wait, allowing me plenty of time to think on what I’m going to say and do, but eventually the front door clicks and Twilight walks in, Spike riding on her back. “Why’s it so dark in here?”

“Hello, Twilight.”

“Anthony? Why was the front door locked? You know you aren’t supposed to close the library just because you-”

“Spike, go see Rarity.” I interrupt Twilight. I want us to be alone for this. Spike looks a bit confused, but hesitantly climbs off of Twilight and runs off, able to tell he probably doesn’t want to be around for a while. “Now then Twilight, we’re going to have a little chat.”

“What? What’s all this about? What’s gotten into you now?”

“You apparently already know that. You have a lot to answer for.” I usher Twilight to the table in the middle of the room. Locking the library door again, I take my place at the table opposite her.

“Okay Anthony, seriously, what’s going on? If this is still about the clones, I’m sure we can just talk this out.”

“Not about the clones anymore. As for talking things out... You better start praying that you’re right.” I pull the notebook out and drop it on the center of the table. Twilight becomes very nervous.

“H- how’d you get that?”

“That’s not important. What is important is why you decided to hide this knowledge from me.” I keep my voice as calm as I can, my rage betrayed by the intensity of my voice despite how level I try to keep it.

“Well, I didn’t really try to hide it, I just figured you wouldn’t be interested-”

“Why wouldn’t I be interested in this? This is my life, my powers, it has everything to do with me, and it’s most definitely my business. So why wouldn’t you want me knowing my limits? Why do you have all my weaknesses written down and how to exploit said weaknesses? Keep lying to me, Twilight. I dare you.”

Twilight fidgets and has a few false starts before giving her reason. “Well, Celestia figured that if you ever became a problem, we’d need a contingency plan-”

“Ever since I got here, Celestia hasn’t trusted me. No matter how much good I try to do, she treats me like I’m some crazed anarchist, striking every chance I get. I trusted you Twilight. I thought you were better than her, but she’s messed you up too badly!” Twilight winces, her ears folding back. “But this... you’d rather have an advantage over your friend rather than helping him understand what he can and can’t do? You’d stop my progress simply so you could take me down? I never wanted you to be my enemy, I wanted to actually think we could live together as friends, but you just keep fucking this up.”

“W- wait, think about this-”

“No, you think! You are deliberately detailing my potential destruction, as if I would just... snap. Well you know what? I feel like I should and start destroying everything because my only friends treat me like a threat!”  I hold the book up to her face. “And do you know what this is? This is the final nerve.” I stand up, incinerating the book in my hand. Twilight jumps back, clearly scared. “To use a human phrase, this is the last straw... that broke the horse’s back.”

Horrified,Twilight teleports away before I do something to her. But she’s not my main concern. Her teacher is. Celestia keeps judging me, telling me what a danger I am. She just ignores all the good I try to do and tells everyone I’m a threat. Simply because I have power. She doesn’t even know me, but if she never sees me as any more than a threat, then maybe that’s what I have to be. Am I not good enough of a hero for you, princess? If it’s a monster you want, it’s a monster I’ll give you...

I feel my rage hit a fever pitch, and through it, I hear music in my head. With a sharp intake of breath, I begin to sing, letting my message play out to all who hear it. I step out of the library and into Ponyville, screaming my words as I head for the train station.

You never really understood me! You always put me down! Like a dog that's beaten over and over, one day I'm gonna take you down!

This is who I am, not a shadow of who I want to be! Try to understand: This is what you made me, and you're not ever gonna change me!

You underestimate my sorrow, all the wreckage of my life

I tried so many times to tell you: You were going way too far! No excuses!

This is who I am, not a shadow of who I want to be! Try to understand: This is what you made me, and you're not ever gonna change me!

You have made me! You can't change me!

You don't know me! This is who I am!

You have made me! You can't change me!

You don't know me! This. Is. Who. I. Am!♪

My rage-filled trek through Ponyville is met with screams and running townsfolk, I get to the train and enter the engine room. I want to get to Canterlot, and I’m gonna do it myself. I load all the coal into the furnace and superheat it. The energy output increase from the overheated fuel source makes the train speed up to an incredible rate.

This is who I am, not a shadow of who I want to be! Try to understand: This is what you made me, and you're not ever gonna change me!

The locomotive rockets down the tracks, the wheels and pistons creaking and groaning under the intense amount of energy they are expending. I’m almost to Canterlot now, and the train probably won’t be able to last much longer before breaking down.

You have made me. You can't change me

You don't know me. This is who I am!

You have made me. You can't change me

You don't know me. This is who I am!

You have made me! You can't change me!

You don't know me! This. Is. Who. I. Am!!♪

I step off the damaged train and make my way towards the castle, another song stirring inside me, following the last one. I stomp my way through the city, the lyrics I’m screaming aimed directly at Celestia, but the citizens around me scattering in a mad panic at the enraged, electrified being stomping through their city.

All my devotion betrayed! I am no longer afraid!

I was too blinded to see how much you've stolen from me!

You want to know why I feel so horrified? I've felt my innocence die!

You want to know why I can't be pacified? You made me bury something. I won't be sleeping tonight!

I only wanted them blessing me, now I've been labeled a renegade!

It seems so clear now what I must do: Slay an immortal! I won't let them deify you!

They view you as some strange messiah, deify you! They all believe in some demented mare!♪

I’ve made my way to the castle gate and stare down the guards who come to face me. Not stopping my song, the words alone seem to terrify them and they scatter. I continue on, and when I reach the throne room, I grow to an immense size and kick the door down, knocking it off its hinges and launching the halves into the room. I walk towards Celestia, and continue screaming my song.

You want to know why it seems the passion's died? They’re all believing your lie!

You want to know why my will's been fortified? You've made me a monster again! Good luck sleeping tonight!

I only wanted them blessing me, now I've been labeled a renegade!

It seems so clear now what I must do: Slay an immortal! I won't let them deify you!

They view you as some strange messiah, deify you! They all believe in some demented mare!

Celestia backs up a bit as I’m now right in front of her, continuing to yell my song in her face and drawing my sword. My voice seems to duplicate, the words repeating over each other.

All my devotion betrayed! I am no longer afraid! All my devotion betrayed I am no longer afraid!

I was too blinded to see! I was too blinded to see how much you've stolen from me! How much you've stolen from me! All my devotion betrayed! I am no longer afraid! I was too blinded to see! I was too blinded to see how much you've stolen from me! How much you've stolen from me!

Deify you! They view you as some strange messiah!

Deify you! They all believe in some demented mare!

Deify you! All my devotion betrayed! They view you as some strange messiah! I am no longer afraid!

Deify you!  I was too blinded to see how much you've stolen from me! They all believe in some de-men-ted maaaaaaaare!♪

I end the song, every particle of my rage aimed directly at the alicorn in front of me.

“Anthony! I- What? Why?”

“I found Twilight’s book, the one on me. I know she’s been recording my weaknesses and sharing them with you. You never even care about what good I try to do, you just ignore my heroism and shove my face in the dirt, calling me a danger to your subjects!”

“Wait, you think-”

“Shut up! I’m done listening to you degrade me. You kept pushing over and over. Well now I’m pushing back!”

“Stop! I never meant for you to take it this way!”

“Then maybe you really aren’t as good a judge of people as you think. If you can’t tell how you’ve been asking for this, then that’s your fault!”

This gets the princess to stammer, but she does respond. “Anthony, I’m not sure what you are thinking, but my sister and I-”

I swing my sword to the side, the shock-wave shattering two of the stained-glass murals on the wall, letting a strong breeze into the room. “Don’t you dare try to bring Luna into this!! She’s been nicer than you’ve ever been. She’s actually capable of empathy, and I’m not going to be splitting the blame between you!”

“Y- you think I haven’t been nice?”

“You send me letters calling me an anarchist! Never once have I heard you say ‘good job’ or even thank me for helping the ponies you are supposed to be watching over!”

Celestia gets a confused face. “What? Why would I need to thank you? You-”

Ungrateful bitch!” I punch Celestia across her face as hard as I can, leaving a noticeable mark on the side of her muzzle, stunning her into stepping back. I’m about to continue my verbal attack, when I stop making noise.

Celestia’s horn glows, and she sighs. “Anthony, I understand you are upset but-”

<WILL NOT BE SILENCED!!> My steel-gray skin glows brightly as Celestia cringes and shudders, my Absolute Voice letting me literally scream inside her brain. The loss of concentration makes her drop the mute spell. Once more, I feel the urge to burst into song, and I metaphorically grab hold of the power and use it, twisting the words into my message to the princess.

Let's get the story straight: You are a poison!

You flooded through my veins and left me broken

You tried to make me think that the blame was all on me, with the shame you put me through

And now you’ll know that it's not me it's you!

It's not me it's you, always has been you!

All the lies and stupid things you say and do, it's you! It's not me it's you!

All the lies and blame you put me through, I know that it's not me it's you!

You! You! It's not me it's you! You!♪

Celestia shakes her head sadly. “Do you really think-” I interrupt her with my lyrical response.

So here we go again, the same fight we're always in.

I don't care, so why pretend? Wake me when your fucking lecture ends!

You tried to make me small, make me fall and it's all your fault with the blame you put me through!

And now you’ll know that it's not me it's you!

It's not me it's you, always has been you!

All the lies and stupid things you say and do, it's you! It's not me it's you!

All the lies and blame you put me through, I know that it's not me it's you!

Let's get the story straight: You are a poison flooding through my veins, driving me insane!

This time I’ll make you go away!

I'll no longer choke from the pain you put me through!

And now you’ll know that it's not me it's you! You!

It's not me it's you, always has been you!

All the lies and stupid things you say and do, it's you! It's not me it's you!

All the lies and blame you put me through, I know that it's not me it's you!

You! It's not me it's you! You!

It's not me it's you!

It's not me it's you!

It's not me it's you!♪

The amount of energy I expelled from aiming that all at one source has tired me out, but I’m not going to back down. Not now. I await Celestia’s response. She looks shocked and... hurt.

“I... I didn’t know that’s what you were thinking. I always thought you knew how much good you were doing, so I didn’t feel the need to say anything...”

“It’s not that I didn’t know, it’s that I want confirmation, acknowledgement! But instead of approval, I get you telling me about how you think I’m going to join some cult, and that you need to spy on my friends as if we would turn at any moment! What I don’t get is why me and my friends? Is it because we’re human, and you need to keep an eye on the aliens like some sort of science project?”

“I do it because you could potentially be dangerous. You can be highly destructive and I just want to make sure that everypony will be safe-”

“You biased, racist asshole!”

“What!?”

“It is because we’re human!”

“No, I just said-”

“Because of our potential danger. And yet you don’t monitor anyone else! What about Twilight, huh? You should know better than anyone how dangerous she could be! She has the power to go around popping heads left and right with blind discretion, and you trust her, but not me? Why?” Celestia is about to respond, but I cut her off. “Because it’s less likely that she’d snap? Oh, right, she’s never had mental breakdowns induced by her neurotic tendencies. Then it must be because she’s a pony. It’s obvious you’ve been unable to see bad intentions in your subjects until they become serial killers. You’re just a xenophobe, treating me and my friends like monsters, while you yourself teach countless ponies how to use magic, the most deadly thing that could be taught!” A thought flashes through my mind and I speak it before even processing it. “Maybe Equestria would be better off without you.”

“How can you say that? Many ponies depend on me-”

“The ponies in Chickago seemed to be doing just fine without you. In fact, they seemed a lot less emotionally restricted. And don’t bring your ‘raising the sun’ bullshit to the table either. I’ve seen the sun and moon rise and fall all by themselves simply because of gravitational pull. And in the event that gravity doesn’t work like that here, I’ve heard that little Story-of-Christmas tale your ponies tell. It doesn’t require you to do it, it just needs a bunch of unicorns. All things considered, you’re nothing more than a convenience or a fraud!”

Celestia sighs, turning to one side. She nods faintly, then turns to me, her face hardened. Strange, she doesn’t look angry or scared or anything like that. Just... disappointed? Her horn flickers gold an-


-nd I’m back in Ponyville. Also, I’m now nauseous. Urgh... I hate teleportation! I hate Celestia! I hate... hate... hate... “Graaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!”

I scream with rage as I explode into ignition, scorching everything around me, charring it to black. My outburst over, I grow as tall as I can, now a veritable titan among insects. I grab the town fountain and rip the pony statue out of the ground, water spraying everywhere as I hurl the sculpture to the horizon.

Suddenly I feel like I’m deflating as I start to shrink against my will. I can’t fight it, quickly I’m back to my normal size. Twilight and the other Bearers are on the scene and it seems pretty obvious to me what happened. Twilight begins to speak, but I cut her off. “Leave me alone, you lying traitor! You had your chances and you fucked them all up! I’m done with you!”

“Wait, let me explain-”

“You already have!!” I scream my response as my Heat form triggers itself again, flames leaping from my body.

I come upon the tablet again, the memorial stone. Once more, I feel a spike of anger go through me and I swipe over it with my overheated fingers to turn the word ‘Hero’ into a melted smudge.

I continue on, switching between powers as I smash craters into the ground, slash wounds into the environment, and turn dirt roads to glassy slag.

“Come on, Celestia! You think you can stop me!? Get off your ass and do something about it for once!” I swing my sword and the wave of plasma slashes a chunk out of the town hall. “Did you think I’d just let you keep shooting me down and give up? That I’d just roll over and try to compromise with someone who treats me like a freak? No more Mr. Nice Guy, here’s how my breaking point looks!” I grow again and smash my gargantuan foot through the train station with a kick. “Do you like it? Do you fucking like it!?”

Shrinking down, I move to the train, screaming ponies escaping from the vehicle as fast as their tiny legs would let them. I telepathically grab all the coal out of the train’s coal car, lighting the lumps and sending them flying over the town, the closest simulation to ‘raining fire’ that I could achieve. “Where’s your fucking princess now, huh? Where are you? Are you afraid of what my pain looks like? You wanna feel how I do, my entire world destroyed!? Then sit there while I destroy everything you know and burn their ashes!!”

I get the feeling that someone is behind me. I turn and see Myrna. She stutters what I assume is supposed to be a threat. “Stop this! You don’t-”

I walk up to her and close my eyes, preventing her from being able to petrify me. Heating up further, I clearly reach a point that her cold-blooded body finds unbearable as I feel her presence start to shrink away, despite having been towering over me a second ago.

<LEAVE.>

At my simple, but cosmic command, she shivers a bit. I release a burst of searing light, and blind her. It seems it’s too much as Myrna slithers away quickly to escape me.

“What’s your plan, princess? Wait until I’ve destroyed it all then nuke me with the sun once whatever that does isn’t nearly as bad as what I did so you look like a hero!?” I grab the nearest pony by the neck and hold them up towards the mountain of Canterlot. “Watch as your goddess of the sun does nothing, not giving a shit about you or your loved ones, and tell me who is the lesser of our two evils!”

Dropping the pony I turn to continue on my way when I’m suddenly paralyzed, a dark blue glow surrounds me and everything goes blac-


A episode of blinded disorientation later, I realize I’m in some sort of expansive void, like someone just sent me somewhere I’d be impotent.

I will not be contained like a beast! I will not be dehumanized! I start screaming my throat raw as I expel my power into the vast nothing, fire and electricity swirling together as I release massive bursts of light, the shockwaves of power flinging cosmic energy into the void. I continue trying to obliterate wherever I am to force it into sending me back.

Soon though, I’m drained to the point of fatigue. I can’t continue my onslaught against the universe anymore, resigning myself to my fate of being stuck in this white-speckled void, floating amongst the vast nothingness. Not very far below me is a large, rugged white surface.

The moon? I’m... in space?  

Looking up, I notice Luna, her face a mixture of multiple emotions. I can’t tell if most of them are positive or not. I feel the presence of others. Very powerful others. I turn away from Luna and see flurries of light, vortexes of swirling, flickering flames in the vacuum. Each set of what I assume to be stars is a different color, formed of collections of differing shades.

Something inside me makes me feel like I should wait for them to speak first. And they do.

<WE MUST SPEAK, ANTHONY...> Next Chapter: Chapter 179 Estimated time remaining: 6 Hours, 47 Minutes

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