Starlight in a Broken Vessel

by the-pieman

Chapter 17: C̶͟h̕͟a̴̶͟͢p̷̶̡̡͘t͘͢͡͝e͢͡ŕ̡͘̕̕ ̵̡̕͘͞1̸̷̧̨7̸̡͞

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C̶͟h̕͟a̴̶͟͢p̷̶̡̡͘t͘͢͡͝e͢͡ŕ̡͘̕̕ ̵̡̕͘͞1̸̷̧̨7̸̡͞

I approach the statue. By now the guard has run off. I know he’s not stupid, so he’s probably left to get backup. I think about how to release the imprisoned Spirit. I suppose I could just try to break the statue.

I take the coal dagger and reform it into brass knuckles on my right hand. I clench my fist and swing hard. I definitely made a crack. My hand hurts a bit, but I can easily tell that I did a good job as the crack is spreading. Light shines from the cracks, blinding me.

I hear more cracking and then a laugh. It’s very... well, I suppose the best description would be charismatic.

I lower my arms and I can see Discord standing in front of me. His figure leaves quite an impression, one that is not hard to forget. But not that scary to be honest.

“Well this is a surprise.” He chuckles. “You are quite interesting. What are you?”

“I’m a human. And I suppose I am speaking with Discord, Spirit of Chaos?”

“Theeeeee one and only!” He strikes a pose and confetti appears, showering him as a fanfare blares. Quite the showman.

“So, why did you free me? Not that I’m complaining, of course.”

“I want to get to know you.”


“Yes. I heard about you from the princesses and Elements of Harmony. Unfortunately, they seemed heavily biased, so I took their information with a grain of salt. Well, more like an entire spoonful. Anyway, I want to hear about you. I doubt you’re the terrible villain they claim you are.”

“Of course not! I just like to have fun. It’s not my fault that not everypony appreciates my idea of humor.”

“I relate completely.”

“Ah, a kindred... well, you aren’t a spirit in the literal sense.”

“Forget it. How about you demonstrate your idea of a good time?”

“You are the first person to ask, kid. I like you.”

With a snap of his talons, we are on a rooftop in a fairly rural town. A bit more advanced than Ponyville, but not a sprawling city by any means. “Teleportation that doesn’t blind you? I appreciate that, thank you.”

“Why should magic annoy someone? That’s just inconvenient.”

“Agreed. So where are we?”

“This, my disciple of chaos, is the city of Trottingham.”

“Looks boring.”

“My thoughts exactly.” He laughs as he snaps his fingers and dark clouds form over the city.

“That’s it? Rain? You’re gonna make them wet?”

“Wait for it...” Discord says, giggling like an excited child. Suddenly, I hear a clap of thunder and it starts raining. But it’s not rain. Oh there’s water all right. Bottles of water.

I burst out laughing. “Oh lord, that is awesome!”

“Isn’t it?”

We share laughs as we watch all the ponies run from the plastic containers falling from the sky. They’re freaking out like crazy. “H- hey Discord... “ I pant from all the laughing.

He wipes away a tear. “What?”

“Can I have a turn?”

“What can you do?”

I look around and I see a pony run under the canvas cover of a nearby store. I point at it.

“Teleport me behind that pony.”

“Let’s see what you got, kid.” He snaps his fingers and I’m behind the pony as requested. I grin. This is going to be awesome. I wait for a few moments and then I Spark up, my glowing blue form drawing the pony’s attention.


She screams and runs out from under the canvas... *thunk* Just in time for a bottle of water to bean her right on the head.

“Critical Hit!” I shout as I pump my fist in the air. Suddenly I’m next to Discord who’s laughing his head off. Literally, his head isn’t on his shoulders but rolling on the ground.

“That... That was perfect! Ahahahahahahaaaaaa...”

I pick up Discord’s head and reattach it... on his rear end. “What’s up, assface?”

With a *pop* he’s back to normal and we high five each other, laughing like maniacs.

“L- let’s do something else!”

“You don’t even have to ask!”

We continue our laughing as we cause havoc throughout Trottingham, freaking out ponies left and right. Discord starts some music out of nowhere and we dance to the offbeat ‘rhythm’, watching as ponies avoid whatever nonsensical obstacle they face. This is the most entertaining day of my life.

“Hah, I knew the princesses were lying. They just have no sense of humor!”

“You are my new favorite person, Anthony!”

Our two-man, city-wide party continues until the light of dawn. Wait. Dawn.

I turn to Discord. “Celestia’s awake.” I say with an evil grin.

Discord returns my expression and snaps his fingers. We are outside the throne room. I whisper into Discords ear and he chuckles, nodding.

Discord disguises us as potted plants, and when Celestia approaches her throne, I’m no longer a plant. I leap onto her back and mash a magically-summoned three-layer cake into her face. “Good morning, Celestia. Did that cake you up? Hahahahaaaa”

“Anthony!” She wipes the cake from her face. “What in the world-”

“Wait, you missed a spot, right here!” I repeat the process, this time with a pie. Discord can’t help himself. He returns to his normal form and we end up rolling on the floor, holding our sides as we laugh.


“Nope.” I say. “It’s Chuck Testa!” Discord and I high five again. Next Chapter: Chapter 18 Estimated time remaining: 32 Hours, 23 Minutes

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