We make our way to the town market. We’ve set up a nice little stand next to a few food vendors with a big fancy sign that says ‘MAKE A WISH!!’

It’s not long before a curious stallion approaches our stall and looks up at me and Fluttershy, running the little business, Discord to my other side.

“Can uh... can it be any wish?”

“You bet, just ask for anything you want and we’ll give it to you. Only one wish per person.” The pony looks thoughtful, obviously trying to come up with a wish.

“I wish I had a thousand bits!” He says happily, grinning wide.

“Of course, sir. Your wish be granted!” In a flash, a huge bag appears on the counter and I hand it to the stallion, who is grinning like a maniac. He looks in the bag and is totally confused. He pulls out a screw, a piece of stale bread, and all manner of various odds and ends. “Wh- what’s this?”

I lean on the counter grinning just as wide as he was earlier. “A huge bag of bits. You know, a bit of this, a bit of that... there’s exactly a thousand in there. You can count it if you want!”

The stallion looks totally confused and rather disappointed. “Hey uh... can I exchange this? I want a different wish.”

“Sorry pal, one wish per person. We could take it back though. But who knows, maybe you’ll have a use for a... uh.” I reach into the bag and grab something. “A square bouncy ball. Your choice.”

The stallion just sighs and leaves, but he does take the bag with him. Fluttershy looks at me. “That was kind of mean, you know.”

I shrug. “Not really, we just taught him two very valuable lessons. Be careful what you wish for, and not everything is as you expect. Thanks to our little prank, he’s a wiser, more learned pony. We’re helping!”

Fluttershy gives me that unhappy look, though it’s less effective now that I’m no longer a gerbil and the one towering over her.

“Come on, it’s just a joke! Nobody’s getting hurt, and it’s all in good fun! Besides, they get what they ask for, they just need to word it better. It’s not our fault they are being vague.” The unhappy look has not gone away in the slightest, but she doesn’t say anything.

“Alright then, next customer. Step on up everybody! Make a wish and we will make it happen! Anything your heart desires can be yours! All it takes is a simple request and you will have whatever you wish for! ...results may vary.”

An intrigued, spring-green mare comes up and looks at the stall, contemplating. “You really can grant any wish?”

“You bet, anything you want, just one wish per person, taking back your wish is allowed, and it’s for today only. Now tell me miss, what do you want more than anything else?”

“Uhm... I want my house to always be clean of dust!”

I facepalm. Really? Of course, I guess neat-freaks have dreams too. “Alright. Any dust that lands on or in your house will automatically be teleported outside of your house and cover the area in front of it and it’ll slowly build like snow.”

“No! My geraniums!”

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“I wish for a set of tools that won’t break when I use them.”

“Alright, here you go. These are made of solid unobtanium. They will never break and are literally impossible to lift.” The heavy, dull, gray-green tools thud to the ground, leaving impressive indents where they land.

“What?! Then what’s the point?”

“You didn’t say you wanted them to be lightweight.”

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“I wish for a solid-gold ice-cream cone!” He looks back and forth between Discord and I, our expressions confused. “What? I make ice-cream, and I want to make a  trophy.”

“Alright.” I hand it to him. “I just hope you have a freezer for a trophy case. Ice cream melts, you know.”

“But... gold doesn’t melt normally...”

“You asked for solid gold ice cream. I can’t just give you a bunch of gold shaped like ice cream, that’s not what you asked for.”

“But I asked for an ice-cream cone...” The pony trots sadly away, still holding the gold ice-cream gently.

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“I wish for a thousand bits!”

“Didn’t we already grant someone that?”

“He must’ve given us a recommendation.” Discord shrugs.

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“I wish to be older!”

“Wish granted, you’re five seconds older.”

“Awesome! ...Wait...”

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“I wish I could fly!” The little unicorn filly looks up at us with hopeful eyes.

I think for a moment. “Go see the Cutie Mark Crusaders and ask about the trebuchet.”

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“I wish my pets would stop going to summer camp and not coming back. Mommy says they’re on adventures, but I miss them.” A little colt with a squirrel silhouette looks at us. “Pleeease?”

“They’ll be fine, just ask your mom for help on taking care of them. They won’t d- go away anymore.”

“Mommy’s always busy, though...”

Hmm... maybe an apprenticeship with Fluttershy would do the little boy good. I ask and Fluttershy seems fine with that. Hey, the wish is being granted, so that’s still success!

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“I wish my marefriend had bigger thighs!”

Whoo boy, this is going to go over poorly.

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“I wish my coltfriend wasn’t such a horndog!” The mare who says this has super-big thighs, and Discord and I snigger and try to hold back our laughter. Gotta look professional, after all.

“Congratulations, he’s no longer a unicorn, nor canine.”

“But... he’s a pegasus!”

“That makes our job even easier!”

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“I wish for... for jelly.” A gray stallion says, licking his lips. “In a big jar. The best jelly.” the leer he gives us when he says that has me worried.

Guess we should just... give him what he wants... The giant tub, along with a huge spoon, appears in front of him. With a grin that’s unsettling bordering on dangerous, he pitches the spoon to the side and tears off the top of the cap, simply climbing in and rolling in it.

Discord and I move our stand to the other side of the marketplace, away from... that guy.

Discord looks at me. “I didn’t touch him, I swear!”

“I know... that’s what scares me.” we both quiver a bit as we try to forget that crazy stallion and his... ‘hobby’.

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“I wish my tiara was actually made of diamonds!” The little pink bully puffs her chest a bit, and looks at us imperiously, though I can see her knees knocking a bit.

The wish is granted exactly as she asked. “Congratulations, it’s sale value has gone down by about 500% and it’s super fragile and extremely perishable. Enjoy your trinket, moneybags.”

Tiara looks at her namesake, the cloudy, off-yellow ‘gem’ sitting crookedly on her head. She runs off in tears.

Not my problem she doesn’t realize diamonds are practically useless. Well, she does now. Lesson learned.

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The next pony up is Scootaloo and she looks up at me excitedly. “I wish I had wings big enough to let me fly through the air!”

In a flash, Scootaloo’s little orange feathery wings are replaced by big, multicolored butterfly wings that look incredibly girly. Scootaloo, hovering in the air, stares at her new appendages in utter horror. I can’t help myself.

“Scootaloo! Your wings are so pretty!”

“Change me back! Change me back before anypony sees! Auuuuuuugh!”

I’m not heartless, so I do have Discord change her back to normal and she drops to the ground, hops on her scooter, and practically disappears.

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“I wanna be a ninja!” The hopeful foal in front of me is younger than the CMC, and has a big patch of darker fur around his eye. His coat is a spotty tan-and-brown.

“A ninja? Why in the world would you want to be a ninja? Pirates are way cooler!” With that, Discord poofs him up a little pirate outfit, complete with sword.

“But I’ve already been a pirate for Nightmare Night! I wanna be a ninja this year!”

I shrug. “Fine.” His costume changes and he’s wearing that tunic sort of thing I can’t remember the name of. Whatever, it at least looks pretty authentic, and he’s got some toy shuriken on a belt and a tiny sword next to his other plastic armaments. “Enjoy.”

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“I wish I was a seapony!” The mare is looking at me with keen interest, and she’s smiling broadly. She hadn’t given any preamble, just ran up and shouted her wish at us. She’s towing a large bucket behind her, full of water, presumably to sit in.

“Uh... okay.” She now resembles a seahorse, with fins and everything, the curly tail... but she still has a pony snout as opposed to that weird tube thing seahorses have. She’s also about twice too big for her bucket so we figure to give her a freebie and make it big enough to actually swim in. “So... how is it?”

“I like it! Eee-hehehehehe!” She’s practically cackling, and a panting and exhausted-looking mare makes her way here.

“Damnit, Spray! Where are you going to live now? We don’t have anywhere to keep a- a- a seapony in our house!”

The seapony’s smile droops a little. “Oops... I didn’t think about that... uhm... I guess, uhm, can I get turned back?”

“Yep, if you want to take back a wish, you can, but you can’t trade it in for another wish. But if your friend here wants to wish your house was part aquarium...”

“No! It’s wet enough already there!” the other mare yells and I roll my eyes.

“Spoilsport...” I grumble, and Discord returns the seapony back to her original form. Still in the tub, of course. She doesn’t seem upset.

“Ugh, I know exactly what I’m going to wish for. I wish all our stuff is waterproof! My sister’s stupid obsession keeps getting water everywhere.” The disgruntled newcomer looks angrily at her sibling in the bucket.

“Poof.” I say. “Everything in your house is shrink-wrapped. Enjoy!”

“Augh... I’ll just make do, I guess.”

I try not to snigger. I can see her house from here, and that’s shrink-wrapped, too.

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“I wish I could go to the moon when I grow up!” The filly looks up at me, still in her pre-teens if I’m guessing right.

We poof her up a legitimate, fully functioning, pony-shaped/sized astronaut suit. “Alright, you’re all set. Now you just need to invent rocket propulsion and heat shielding to escape the atmosphere. You’ll be on the moon in no time after that.”

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“I, uhm... I wish that, er, that I, uhm...”

“The offer’s good until the day is over buddy, make your choice today.”

“I- uhm, just... er, that is- uhm, I, uh...”

“Tell you what, if you don’t wish for something, I’ll come up with something for you.”

“N- no! I- uhm, I want, erm, uh, to- uh, I-”

I get Discord to use his magic to make him spit it out and get rid of his mumbling stutter. “Alright, what do you want?”

“Th- thank you! I’ve been trying to get rid of my stutter for years now! Thank you so much!” The stallion trots away, a big grin on his face. Huh.

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After a while of much of the same, though thankfully with many varied and hilarious results, Twilight actually walks up to our stall, a challenging look on her face.

“Sorry Twilight, you have no ammo here. Discord and I have only been fulfilling wishes, giving these ponies what they want as they ask it. We have only caused any chaos because of vague wording and misunderstanding on the wishers’ parts. Therefore, we have not caused any harm, or trouble. You got nothing. Discord and I have spent the day being model citizens.” Discord and I grin, folding our arms and await Twilight’s disappointed expression. But she keeps her ‘challenge’ face on.

“Actually. I’m here to make my own wish. You two think you are clever, twisting words and pulling underhanded minor nuisances on ponies. I’m here to challenge that. I have a wish that you cannot misconstrue.” She looks rather smug.

Discord leans over the stall. “Oh really? Tell me, what makes you so sure you have the perfect wish?”

“Simple. I have prewritten specifications!” She holds up a stack of papers, all detailing her wish, and it is very detailed and descriptive. It takes Discord and I twenty minutes to read through the entire stack twice, looking for any kind of loophole possible. But, unfortunately, it’s written with every single detail covered so well we couldn’t possibly misconstrue her request. I am literally incapable of misinterpreting any of this, and it’s such a simple wish we can’t go overboard with it either.

Sighing in defeat, I turn to Discords. “Alright... looks like she wins. Grant the wish.”

“Not so fast.” Discord says, an evil grin on his face. “We accept all wishes orally, and any details must be spoken as well. In order for these applications to be valid, you must speak it, out loud, in one go.”

I stare at Discord. “You are an evil genius!”

The pair of us look at Twilight who looks like she’s thinking real hard on a solution, but the she has her ‘idea’ face on. Her horn lights up as she casts some sort of spell, and levitates the stack of papers and continues to read all of them off one at a time. She’s not even stopping to breathe! When she finishes, I feel a little out of breath for some reason, as if she stole my air so she didn’t have to pause, but that couldn’t be the case as, technically, I’ve been breathing fine since she cast her spell.

And she covers every. Single. Page. No mistakes, no slip-ups, she reads off her pre-made regulations word for word without pause. It’s like watching Pinkie Pie act as a lawyer, and that thought scares me just a little too much. Defeated, Discord summons up a towel for me to throw in and he also creates a white flag which he begins waving.

“You win Twilight Sparkle... have your wish, made-to-order.” My chimeric friend snaps his fingers for the umpteenth time that day, and Twilight gets her wish. Levitating her freshly-made, perfectly normal daisy sandwich up to her mouth. she takes a bite. Then grins. “It tastes exactly as it should, but there’s one other thing.”

“What’s that?” Discord asks. “I made it exactly as your stupid little contract required me too!”

She takes another bite, grins at us way too happily. “It tastes like... victory!” With that, she walks off and continues eating her sandwich, smiling like the cat that ate the canary.

I don’t bother looking at Discord as I ask my question. “Close up shop?”

“Yep.” One last snap and the stand disappears and we walk off to the park.

“Stupid purple killjoy...” Next Chapter: Chapter 147 Estimated time remaining: 12 Hours, 16 Minutes