I haven’t talked to Myrna since that chat, two days ago, but I’ve got more on my mind now. I’ve got precisely six hours to get to the Gala, and we’re apparently taking a carriage, because Twilight’s been decreed to arrive in style, and can’t weasel out of it.

I figured it is a fancy party, so I got an untorn, bloodless copy of that suit Rarity made for me, and I do look a bit more presentable than I would if I was just wearing a sleeveless T-shirt and pants.

With me, a blue mare with the hourglass cutie-mark, Caramel that-spoon-making-guy, some blue stallion with a safety pin cutie-mark, and a rather unhappy-looking Rarity in the carriage with Twilight, we’re ready to send off. Rarity is constantly adjusting things on me, and saying that ‘it won’t hurt too much’ and the like, along with a muttered ‘I hope he doesn’t show up...’ under her breath.

As we get closer to Canterlot, I see greater and greater numbers of ponies in rather fancy suits and dresses and the like. A huge majority of them certainly look rather... ‘upper class’. I can already tell that this party will be in desperate need of real entertainment, if my assumptions of what these nobles would find ‘enjoyable’ are correct.

Oh well, I can quickly fix that. I’ve never quite mixed well with these sorts, so I should be ‘unruly’ and ‘uncultured’ enough to make their night rather memorable. I grin to myself as I think on what to do first...

I’m shocked out of my thoughts when Rarity tries to button up the top button of my jacket or whatever it’s called and cut off my airway. She realizes her mistake and unbuttons it once I start coughing and I give her the evil eye all the way until we get to the castle.

We are ushered in, but instead of being allowed to just go mingle, we’re stuck in a line to meet the princesses, each noble and their guest or significant other taking the time to shake Celestia’s hoof, though it looks as though Luna wants to gets hoof-shakes, too. The nobles don’t seem to be snubbing her, so much as completely overlooking the smaller alicorn. To my surprise, she’s got the shiny, slightly occluded crescent-moon diamond on her neck, tied in place by a simple string of some kind.

We arrive at the head of the line, and Celestia looks me in the eye. “I expect you to be on your best behavior, Anthony.”

I wink. “Of course. Though it’s likely your idea of what my best behaviour is might conflict with reality. Heya Luna.”

Luna looks at me, a smile brightening her face. “Well met, Anthony. I shall be keeping my eye upon you for the night. Every time you come to Canterlot, something interesting happens. I look forward to seeing what you bring to this... delightful occasion.”

I briefly turn to look at the crowd of stuck-ups behind me. “I’m sure you are, princess, I’m sure you are.” With that, I make my way into the castle and towards the foyer I’m used to, and sure enough, it’s packed with all manner of the upper-class, talking and bragging about one thing or another. Yeup, this will be one boring evening for sure. After a few turns, I wind up in a sort of party-hall area with a big gold statue of a pony and a little stage for the musical entertainment.

A few of the nobles seem to be taking an interest in me, and one smiles and begins talking at me. And I wish that phrasing was a mistake, because he’s not really talking like he expects me to understand, just blithely agree with him.

I get up to walk off, and at his questioning what I’m doing, clearly somewhat insulted at me just walking away while he’s talking I simply respond. “Oh, I thought you were talking to the wall behind me. I’d hate to block your view of your conversation partner.” I smile and walk over to a table with some food.

And of course not only is it free of meat, but the portions are absolutely microscopic. Why is it that ‘fancy’ and ‘tiny proportions’ seem to mean the same when talking of food? I turn to a mare who grabs one of the little things. “You know, if this is all you guys eat, I’d expect you to die of malnutrition in two days.”

“Why, I never!”

I lean my arm on the table. “Really? Maybe you should try sometime.” She sticks her muzzle in the air and starts to walk away into the crowd, holding a single hors d'oeuvre in her magical aura.

Chuckling to myself, I make my way down the ‘buffet’ line, eating five or six ‘portions’ per dish. When I’m nearing the end of the table, I run into a rather nice-seeming stallion with a beret on. He’s carefully looking over the portions on the table with a disappointed air about him, and he idly takes a single lettuce leaf to chew on, rolling with tongue alone to form a tube of green. I note that he does have a horn, and a perfectly normal one, too, he’s just not using it.

“Huh. And here all along, I thought you guys had to use your horns for everything or you were all a bunch of pathetic, dependent crippled whiners.”

“Hmm? Oh, I’m only a type one. Couldn’t levitate things until I was a teen. Never got into the habit, but I’m rubbish with magic.” He has a vaguely british accent, interesting. Only the very slightest hints, but it’s there. Or maybe I’m projecting, based on the word he used, not sure.

“Heh, well there’s worse things to suck at. One thing’s for sure, you can always get a job as a hat rack if you need to.”

The stallion raises an eyebrow at me. “You know, I’ve been made fun of my entire life, I suppose you think you can get under my skin, too?”

“Clearly, I’d have to work harder on you than the rest of these ritzy bores. I kinda like you, what’s your handle?”

“Sir Lord High Baron of Mulberry. The town, not the celebrity writer. Though, you can just call me Baron, as calling me ‘High’ might get confusing.”

“No, but it’d be accurate if this party had anything more... recreational. That’d be pretty funny. Everyone around here, totally unable to hold onto a coherent thought for a full conversation...”

“You apparently haven’t paid much attention. You’ve described them as they already are. Well, at least how they portray themselves. Half actually are airheads, and the rest play the fool to weed out competitors. I sincerely wish I didn’t have to attend this dreadful travesty of a ball...”

“Well, why come? Sell your ticket to a guy for a couple of bits and see what happens.”

“No, no, can’t lose face by not showing up. I’d rather not have to worry more failing to wake up in the morning. No, I’ll just survive another night here, and look dourfully to the future. Oh dear, I’m being flagged down. I wish you well, you’ve been a better conversationalist than I’ll likely see all night. Farewell.” High Baron wanders into the crowd, looking generally sad and disappointed. I wish I had a way to cheer him up, he at least seems to have a real personality.

Hmm... Maybe some music...

‘this dreadful travesty of a ball’

‘travesty of a ball’

‘ball’

Now there’s an idea. I look over to where tonight’s musical entertainment is and. Well damn, I see Octavia up there with a few other musicians. Maybe I can chat her up after she’s done, see if I can get a song of my own into the heads of these idiots.

After a while of rather slow, not very stimulating music, though still very well-played, I head over to the grey mare once she puts her bow down. “Heya Tavi. How ya been?”

“Ah, Anthony. It’s good to see you again. I have been... well. There’s not much recently that’s been particularly inspiring for my music, but that’s alright, I suppose.”

“Well, I was thinking I might introduce to these... ‘wonderful attendees’ to some of my music.”

At Octavia’s cautious glance. I roll my eyes. “Don’t worry, what I have planned is completely appropriate and in no way vulgar or impolite, I assure you.”

After pondering it for a moment, she turns to the other musicians and chats with them. The pianist, who seems to be the one in charge, comes over. Looking me up and down, then seeing the Lyre when I hold it up to him, he nods. “One song, that’s it.”

I smile lightly. “One song is all I need, my good man.”

I get up on the little podium and, with a fire/electric finger snap, draw everyone’s attention to me with a bright flash. Once everyone realizes where they should be looking, I address them. “Good evening everyone. I would like to offer you all a taste of classic music from where I hail from. But first, a question. Do any of you enjoy ballroom dancing?”

Obviously, given them being of high society, they all say they do, because clearly not liking such a fancy past time would be shameful to one of a high position. I continue. “Lovely, then I am sure you will enjoy this quite well.”

With that, I begin.

It’s a titanic struggle to avoid just bursting into laughter at their shocked, horrified looks on their faces. I can see Celestia and Luna bobbing with the tune, though Twilight looks too surprised to react yet. Octavia is covering her mouth, trying not to show an obvious naughty grin. I think the best part, is when Celestia and Luna, in the grips of the Harmony magic, begin yelling out the ‘chorus’ parts, where the backups help the music.

Once the song ends, there’s a stunned silence, only broken when the princesses and Twilight begin to politely stomp their hooves.

I look around at the sea of peeved faces, smiling broadly.

A stallion in the middle yells out, “Kick ‘im out!”

A chorus of agreements follow, and I’m swept from the ballroom by a tidal wave of angry fancy-folks. I feel myself get a temporary reprieve from gravity as I’m hurled by the strength of eight or nine unicorns, until I land near the entrance to the hedge maze and statuary garden. I sit up and rub the spot where my hip hit the ground first, and watch as the ponies file back into the ballroom, determined to go back to a boring evening.

“Fine, you filthy-minded philistines! It was about ballroom dancing! Get your minds out of the collective gutter!” Hmph, some people.

Sighing, I stand up and start towards the statuary garden. At least I can wander around, have a look at what’s here. Maybe there’s a few of those ‘memorial stones’ for Celestia or Luna or Twilight. I don’t know if that would make me feel better, but it’d at least be something.

I’m walking along and I almost run into a rather odd-shaped one. I look up and karma hits me in the face harder than a super-sized steamroller. I left Discord here! How long’s it been!? Oh shit, oh shit!

I immediately get to work of breaking the statue, the laugh I heard the last time nowhere to be found. He just looks at me, annoyed.

“I am sooooo sorry! I swear I didn’t mean to forget! I know I said three months but...”

“It’s been three months, ten weeks, seven hours and... twenty-five minutes now.” He crosses his miss-matched arms.

I look up at him. “Guilt-tripping jerk. Come on, I said I was sorry!”

He looks at me with pursed lips. “I think you should make it up to me.”

I grin. “And I shall. I’m sure you’re aware that the Grand Galloping Gala is going on at the moment?”

“Of course I do, it’s the most orderly thing in this entire city. I noticed you had your invitation... revoked.” He sniffs. “I suppose you tried livening it up?”

“Yeah, but they have no sense of humor, and are way to easily offended. But what I really need is someone who can give me a boost. What do you say? Wanna have some fun with these windbags?”

“Hmm... I suppose if I was feeling vindictive, I’d simply seal you in there with them... but I’m feeling bored, so let’s go with your plan for now.”

I grin evilly. “Excellent... let’s have some fun!”

I walk back inside, grinning. “I’m baaaaaaaa-aaaaaack!”

Everyone turns to me angrily and proceeds to try to throw me out once more, but I hold up my hand. “Now, I all understand that you want me gone, but I just have one thing to say.”

When I am allowed my one thing to say I inhale deeply, and yell out my little message.

“Raining ducks!!”

Everyone looks utterly confused, but then a downpour of feathers and beaks cascades from the ceiling, the quacking is deafening and all the ponies flip out trying to avoid the growing sea of waterfowl.

“Wobbly floor!”

And then all the ducks are gone in an instant and the ground starts shifting up and down, curves and depressions randomly appearing and flinging everything not nailed down into the air, the ponies completely unable to get their bearings. I notice a few of them have started throwing up. Surprising how much there is given how little they eat. That’s an idea!

I make my final command. “Fooooooood fiiiiiiiiiiiiight!!!”

My decree made, various kinds of foods ranging from vegetables to desserts fly across the room at high speeds. Nobody’s throwing it, the food is just flinging itself around as it appears. In seconds, everything and everyone is absolutely covered in meats, dairy, pastries, various liquids and all manner of condiments.

All the ponies are screaming about the entire ordeal and are slipping with every step, unable to move around and nobody is distinguishable from one another. Not a single thing in the entire area isn’t covered in syrup, noodles, sloppy joe mix, or... whatever that blue stuff is. Eventually the guests all make their way out the doors, some opting to leap through the nearest window.

Laughing my head off, I actually join in and start throwing food at whoever I see, just adding to the mess. After a while, my arms are tired from throwing, my sides hurt from laughing, and the room is empty except for me, Twilight, and the Princesses.

Grabbing a strip of bacon and taking a bite, I walk up to the mares still in attendance, each of them covered in masses of some variety of so many things I can’t begin to name them. Discord appears beside me in a flash of light and, snapping his fingers, cleans the area completely and resets everything.

The area looks like it was still waiting for the first guests to arrive. Discord and I are still having our little giggle fit as Celestia walks up to us. “And that’s your best behavior?”

I look at Discord. He grins and I am holding a bowl of yellow pudding, which I toss at Celestia, but she ducks, and it ends up hitting Twilight in the face. Celestia looks at me, rather peeved as she uses her magic to clean off her student. “Did you really have to release Discord?”

“His time was overdue, and besides, it seems the party’s over anyway. Problem?”

Celestia thinks for a moment before sighing. “No, I guess not, though you did go a little far.”

I look at the clean, totally spotless room and turn to the spirit at my side. “I don’t see anything out of the ordinary Discord, do you?”

“Perhaps she wants us to change that?” He asks innocently.

“No!” Twilight yells from the back, still at Luna’s side.

“Oh come on Twilight, you were complaining about wanting the gala to be over as soon as possible. Looks pretty over to me and it only took a few hours!”

“But... but you freed Discord!”

“Like we were supposed to. Yeah I forgot, but something still irks me. How did you forget, Twilight? I’d have figured you’d put it on a calendar and count down the days.”

Twilight looks rather embarrassed and looks everywhere but right at me or Discord. “Well... I uh... Might have forgotten to tell you...”

I look to Discord. “So, she knew when your time was up, but decided to let you stay in there... Do you think we should turn her into a frog?”

“What!?”

Discord thinks this over. “No no, a frog would never do. How about something more exotic! Like an Ostrich!”

Twilight’s eyes go wide and she teleports out of the room immediately, sending Discord and I into hysterics once again.

“Now then.” Luna says, walking up to us. “The agreement was that he would be reformed once released, that shall begin tomorrow morning, and the elements, my sister and I will all discuss how this shall happen... Discord, you and Anthony are welcome to attend as well, but have no say in the matter of our decision.”

“What?” Discord and I say in unison. “That’s not fair!”

Celestia speaks up next. “Seeing as how you two are bad influences on each other, I think it’s entirely fair if Discord is to be reformed at all.”

“But it was my idea, I can do it really!”

“I’d sooner expect a pie to grow legs and begin dancing.” Luna says lamely. She glares at Discord as he gets ready to snap his fingers, likely to make a pie do exactly that. “The odds of you two not causing havoc everywhere you go is very slim, so he will be put in another pony’s care for the duration of his reformation.”

“But-”

“We will not hear another word from either of you, we have made our minds up. Gather your acquaintances from Ponyville and return there. We will be at the library tomorrow afternoon.”

Discord and I roll our eyes. “Oh fine.”

“Buncha killjoys...”

“I know, right?”

“Oh well, we should get back to Ponyville now.”

Discord snaps his fingers and summons Twilight, Rarity, Caramel and that blue mare, all of them shocked and surprised at their sudden relocation, and then Discord warps us back to Ponyville and he tells everyone to go home, which they do. Discord follows me back to the library, but Twilight speaks up. “Oh no, he is not sleeping here! No way, never!”

“Well where is he going to sleep?”

“Not here! Besides, we don’t have room for him anyways.”

Discord just sighs. “Well then, I guess I’ll just leave. See you tomorrow!”

“Wait, where are you going!?”

Discord coils his serpentine body around Twilight and boops her nose with his claw. “Wouldn’t you like to know! Ta ta!” with that, Discord vanishes in a puff of blue smoke that smells vaguely of burnt popcorn and soap.

“Way to go, Twilight. You just sent the Spirit of Chaos off into whatever part of the world he desires, completely unsupervised and free to do whatever he pleases while there.” Twilight looks at me scared, shocked and ashamed.

“Oh well, see ya in the morning!” With that, I head inside and get ready to sleep. Next Chapter: Chapter 145 Estimated time remaining: 12 Hours, 35 Minutes