Soft.

So incredible soft.

It felt like I was lying on a puffy, little cotton-cloud, wrapped in a blanket made of kittens.

“Hmmmmyeeessss, that´s what momma likes.” I murmured softly, my eyes closed while I wiggled myself deeper into the fluffy-zone. “This is the best thing ever.”

“Well, I´m glad to hear that.”

Painfully fast my eyes shot open, with my head turning towards the voice beside me. I was greeted by the heavily mutilated, blood soaked face of an ochre coated Unicorn.

“Slept well my prime specimen?” the very dead Crystal Flask asked me with a literally face splitting grin.

Screaming on top of my lungs, I jolted up-right and nearly catapulted myself out of a really big, comfy bed I was lying in.

“Okay, okay, just a nightmare, just a nightmare.”

After the initial confusion wore of, I scanned my surroundings. I was in a sparsely decorated room made out of dark stone. The frame of the bed I was lying in seemed to be made of the same material but the matrass and the blanket seemed to be made of… burgundy red velvet? Felt absolutely incredible on my skin. Heavenly, even. My hand traced the lines in the smooth material as a small breeze blew into the room from a big window-door-thing on the left that seemed to lead to a balcony and made me shudder.

“Huh?”

I was butt naked!

Now, I never had a problem with sleeping Aú Naturel but only if I undressed myself and I was definitively fully dressed when I lost consciousness. So who undressed me?!? And more importantly, where the everloving clusterfuck were my clothes?

At least that certain problem solved itself as I spied my armor nicely situated on some kind of rack directly opposite of the bed and a bundle of my clothes right beside it on a small dresser.

Slipping my feet out from under my covers, I was pleasantly surprised by a rather warm floor. Good, cause cold feet after getting fresh out of my nice, toasty bed are number three in my ‘Shity Morning List’, only topped by a cold Toilet Seat and have run out of Coffee.

Looking through the neatly folded pile of my clothes, I produced the most important part of dignity saving necessities, my panty!

“Thank Whoever, it´s still there.”

I really liked that panty. White cotton with baby blue stripes. Yes, the stereotypical Anime panty. Shush!

After putting it on, I set out for a little discovery tour. Like I suspected, the big window/door led to an impressively sized balcony which offered me an even more impressive view of the surrounding terrain. What I suspected was a late morning Sun bathed the mountainside in a beautiful light and even the seemingly endless dirt planes I trekked through for days were looking kinda… nice now that I was not trapped in them anymore. Small white clouds drifting lazily through the aside from that empty sky, playthings of a pretty stiff breeze. For no specific reason I looked down…

“HOLY SHIT! HIGH, HIGH!!!”

It was this moment that I remembered about having teensy phobia of heights.

Backpedalling from the railing I clutched my chest in an attempt to stop my heart from trying to escape my damn ribcage! I was in a bloody tower, don´t know how many meters above the ground!

“Well, duh! Gnarl said something about a Tower, stupid.” I chastised myself as a small speck of yesterday came back to my mind. “Must admit, I never thought this would work so well… hey, wait a minute!”

If this Tower was indeed modelled after my thoughts when I touched the Arch Heart, there was bound to be bath and lo and behold, indeed there it was. Connected directly to the bedroom was a quite spacious bath. It had everything necessary, a wash-bowl, toilet and a big, sunk-in area in the floor which I suspected to be a shower that could also double as a tub if necessary. Replicas of Blue Minions, made from the same blackish stone and bronze, functioned as faucets and the showerhead but what really caught my eye was an honest to goddess full body mirror, held in a frame sculpted to look like a giant pair of suspiciously smirking Red Minions.

>>Hmm, weird. The whole bath seemed to be Blue themed so far. Eh, Wayne.<<

Approaching the mirror I took in the new sight of me as a whole for the first time. My face was like I had seen it in the pond where I met Onyx, my eyes shimmering orbs of whispy light. “Wow, weird square ten.” I brushed a stray lock behind my ears, only to discover that they had turned slightly pointy. “What am I now, a Drow or something?” I asked no one in particular.

Next, my gaze wandered down my body. The black skin was still somewhat unsettling but at least everything seemed to be in the right place.

Boobs still there? Check-erony.

Bellybutton? Check.

Butt still there, still cute? Check and check.

Slightly defined but definitively existing Girl-Abs? Check… wait, what? I traced the outlines of my now toned stomach with the hesitation of a Bomb Disarmer on his first day before exclaiming “My pudge is gone! Why is my pudge gone? I liked my pudge, I want my pudge back! Right now!”

I spend the next minutes staring at my new physique with a pretty much awestruck expression. My old body was by no means obese but years of excessively playing computer games, pen and paper sessions, beer, honey meat and metric fucktons of every sweet stuff known to mankind had left me with quite a visible deposit of fat around my hips, my belly and on my thighs.

My new self on the other hand was toned to a degree that it could rival Vivianne´s and boy, was that girl deliciously toned. Again, I drooled a bit from the thought.

“Ah, good morning Milady. It is good to see you up and awake.” An old, familiar voice croaked and pulled me out of my thoughts.

Turning around, I noticed Gnarl standing in the doors frame. The old Minion had an appraising smile adorning his wrinkly face and a weird twinkle in his eyes.

“Peeping on your boss already, you old lecher? You can´t wait until I take a shower eh?” I asked, raising an eyebrow and crossing my arms.

“No Milady, more like inspecting the material I will be working with and if I might say so, it seems like the dark Fate was well meaning towards me.” Gnarl answered in what he probably considered a pacifying tone. “You are a halfway decent start.”

“Be glad that I have no hairbrush or some flip-flops to throw at your face right now.”

With a throaty chuckle, Gnarl bowed a bit, gesticulating with his cane towards my bedroom. “If Milady would get dressed, it would be my pleasure to show you your new tower. It turned out… better than I had excepted.”

“Why bordering to get dressed? Somehow I seem to end up naked anyway.” I quipped, walking past my adviser.

“Oh. Well, I apologize. That was somehow my doing…” Gnarl began.

I shot him a glare that rivaled Superman’s Heat-Vision after an extended powernap in the heart of the sun.

“Ehrm… no, no Milady, nor me or the other Minions undressed you, it was the dragon. Mumbled something about ‘girl reasons’ and shooed us out of Milady’s bedchambers after we brought you there.” Gnarl hastily finished. “Besides, this is a very good moment to remind your Ladyship of Overlord lesson number three ‘The right appearance is important.’ It may be comfortable to be only in underwear but as a dark Ruler, your Ladyship needs to make it crystal clear to everyone who might cross your path that you are no one to be trifled with and beg pardon but a rather minimalistic panty does simply not convey the same message as a set of solid armor. This is almost as important as Overlord lesson number two ‘A proper Overlord always needs a Mistress. Or more, depending on the tower’.”

“Point taken Phil.”

After getting my butt in gear, Gnarl led me out of my bedroom and into a lounge kind of room. It was quite spacious and for the moment consisted only off a big fireplace that looked like the gaping maw of a Red Minion.

“It is still a bit empty Milady but this is the lounge of your towers residential level. The Minions are still gathering every bit of furniture that came to be together with the tower. Up until now, we have a nicely furnished kitchen including a few weeks’ worth of basic foodstuff, a fitting throne for an Overlady like yourself and the inventory of your Ladyships private quarters.” Gnarl explained in a matter of fact tone.

“Came to be?” That confused me a tad.

“Oh yes Milady, as it created the tower, the Arch Heart used every available raw material in the close proximity of the Nexus from the very stone of the mountain to raw ore and the occasional mountain goat to bring your envisioned fortress into existence.”

“So the Arch Heart built all this from scrap?” Holy Hell, this little chunk of stone was incredible. Speaking of it, the artifact was again at its place, dangling over Gnarls scalp but it was not glowing anymore.

Noticing my worried glance, Gnarl waved a wrinkled claw “Oh don´t worry Milady. The Arch Heart simply needs to reload its reserves for the next few centuries or so while passively absorbing ambient magical energy. Until then, we should try and avoid to bring destruction to our new fortress.”

I ‘aha´ed’ my affirmation. Getting my awesome new tower trashed was something I had veeeeery low on my list. Letting alone that I would probably not even live a single damn century even if I played my cards right. Although, magic…

A flock of Minions in workers overalls and construction helmets appeared out of nowhere, carrying an impossible big table made of stone into yet another empty room.

“Ah, perfect. This is the map table for your Ladyships tactical room.” Gnarl helpfully supplied me with another tidbit about my new home. “Once it is completed, your dark Magnificence will be able to coordinate the Minions and your whole dark domain from there.”

Next I followed Gnarl into a hugeass, dome-like room and right smackdab in the middle of it was floating an honest to goddess Tower Heart! The giant ball of crystal hummed low as it rotated around itself in a snail’s pace. Left hand of the heart laid the measly few bags of bits I had looted from Crystal Flask and his mercs.

“This Milady, is your tower hearts room but I would guess it can double as your treasure chamber too, seeing as we found no sufficient room until now and… hey, that is not for eating!” Gnarl yelled mid-sentence as he spied Onyx. The dragoness was drooling over my towers power source.

With an annoyed huff, the black She-Dragon faced us. “Keep your pants on, I actually have some self-restraint, believe it or not.” As her eyes met mine, the pissed expression turned into a relieved one. “Hey Umbra, good to see you back on your feet. Got us all a bit worried there, blacking out like that. Well, mostly Gnarl and your kobolds.”

“Well, I would like to see you harness the raw magical power of a whole fucking world to bring an awesome new fortress of epicness into existence without suffering a wee little strain.” I countered.

A big smirk adorning her face, Onyx walked over and gently punched my shoulder. “Yeah, yeah, boo ho ho you big baby. You´re a pretty weak demon, aren´t you? Hn?”

Countering my scaly friends smile with my own, I said “Well, rub it in, will you? And here I was considering letting you sleep in my treasury once we had amassed a good amount of riches.” That however had pretty much the opposite effect of what I would have suspected.

Everything fell out of Onyx´ face but she composed herself pretty quick, giving me a half surprised, half amused smirk. “Already trying to get under my tail eh? Never thought you would be so direct. We barely knew each other for a few days. You are worse than most guys I know.”

This caused my train of thought to crash in a cataclysmic explosion with no survivors within a radius of twenty kilometers around the site of the tragedy. “Wat?”

Flicking my nose with her tails tip as she noticed my without a doubt rigid posture, Onyx continued “Well, inviting a dragoness to sleep in your horde is normally an unmistakable hint that you want to mate with her.”

Okaa~ay, defs not a good moment to mention that I am an obsessive collector of “The lusty Argonian Maid” books in every Elder Scrolls game ever made or my accounts on certain websites. Or ever at all!

With a devious smile, Onyx bumped my hips playfully with her own. “Geez, calm down, will you? I´m just teasing you.” Bursting into laughter, the black dragoness made her way to the lounge. “Well, I let you cool off now, while I go for a little flight outta the window.”

I swear I had steam wafting of my head right there. At least my cheeks felt like a furnace. Watching Onyx stroll off I finally regained enough mental capacities to shout “Yeah… well… fly into a storm cloud, will you?” after her.

>>Wow. Smart, are we?<< a little voice in my head snarked.

Stifling an amused laugh, Gnarl mercifully made his presence known to me again. “Gehehe, well, that was something. If Milady does not find suitable candidates in the future you could always take the dragoness as a mistress. She definitively has a fitting character.”

“Given that I´m a fan of fish taco at all.” I rushed out way to hasty.

Stroking his beard slowly with a knowing smirk Gnarl simply said “Of course Milady, of course. Now please follow me. There is still the throne room and the brood-pits I need to show you. We could make a detour to the kitchen too, for a nice breakfast for your Ladyship.”

“Food. Foods sounds good.” I spluttered “Lead the way Gnarl.”

Our next stop was the throne room. My throne room. It was pretty impressive. Even as the big, round and empty waste of space it was at the moment, only occupied by a throne carved from stone, that was decorated with countless intertwined Minions making up the backrest and tattered, red-ish flags decorating the walls. Upon closer inspection of the flags, I noticed that they were decorated with the stylized outlines of an Overlords helmet. Well, one could have far worse things for a personal crest. The big windows all around were a nice touch to. I could not really recall all those details but it seemed my sub-consciousness did a pretty swell job as an architect.

Following Gnarl, I was led down a winding staircase, deep into the bowels of my tower. I was surprised by the lack of floaty stone platforms because I really liked that feature but some evil bitch part of my mind seemed to favor stairs.

The brood-pits on the other hand were pretty rad looking to be honest. Large and deep cracks with steam billowing out of them in the ground divided the big cave into four different areas, each for one Minion Hive. The only present Hive was the Brown Hive. It somehow looked like an anthill cobbled together with lots of palisades and makeshift watchtowers. Cheerful gibbering Browns ran to and fro, chasing rodents of unusual size or each other with wild swinging clubs.

The presumed area for the Red Hive was somehow semi-volcanic, with bubbling craters full of molten lava. The place for the Greens was a surprisingly lush jungle like area with lots of ferns, giant mushrooms and I could swear I saw a few apple sized spiders skitter around. The Blue area looked like some kind of pond, with big lily pads and a single small island for the Hive itself. Makeshift rope bridges and runways connected all areas.

Not far behind the general area, I spied a large river with a single small, yoda-esk hut at its bank. A little trail of smoke came from the skew-whiff chimney, showing that it was inhabited.

The pitter-patter of webbed feet brought me back to the here and now (that and Gnarl clearing his throat). There, right in front of me stood the Reaper himself. Well, or rather the Minion version of the Reaper. An ancient looking Blue Minion, donning a motley grey robe and carrying a scythe with a notched blade met my eyes with his own.

“Milady, this is Norbert. He is the brood-master, responsible for raising the new Minions and also he, in his position as the Minion Reaper, is able to raise fallen Minions from the dead. I admit, I was extremely surprised when we met down here during my first inspections but this should prove extremely useful in the future.” Gnarl supplied.

Stroking the weird gill-thingies that made up some kind of chinbeard, Norbert the Minion Dead scrutinized me with the true diligence of aeon old being. Shivers ran down my spine as the scythe bearing Minion waddled around me. Finally Norbert finished his inspection, coming to a halt right in front of me where he started. The corners of his mouth curled up nearly unnoticeable as Norbert gave a short nod, propped on his tool of office. “Very well. I welcome you to the brood-pits dark lady. I, Norbert, will serve you to the best of my abilities.” The ancient Blue stated with a calm voice that resonated eerily in the big cavern before turning around on the spot and waddling towards the lonely hut at the rivers bank.

“Now, that went rather well Milady. Norbert seems to really like you.” Gnarl stated, sounding really satisfied for some reason.

“You think so? I had the feeling that he tried to peer straight into my freakin´ soul or something.” I rubbed my arms to ward of the sudden feeling of chilling cold.

“Oh, I am pretty sure that he has Milady.”

“Scuse me?”

“Nothing, nothing. Now, how about the promised breakfast Milady?” Gnarl clapped his claws together before leading me back to the higher levels of the tower. Conveniently the kitchen and an until now completely empty dining room were located only on level above my throne room.

The kitchen was already fully furnished like Gnarl said and a Brown Minion wearing a chef’s hat was constantly moving from pots to pans to cupboards, doing chef things. A brief introduction later, I knew him as Wiener, my new cook.

Wiener was, like most Minions, a scarce (coherent) speaker but the little guy let his actions speak for him and so far his actions consisted of putting a huge loaf of bread, butter and a chalice filled with wine in front of me. Even though I was never a friend of plain butter on bread, right now I simply wolfed down my food.

While eating, I squeezed Gnarl for some more information’s. Turned out the Arch Heart somehow milked enough souls out of the Nexus to bring exactly one hundred Browns into existence. Also, Gnarl somehow figured out that I probably should be able to actively control thirty Minions now.

“Sho, what are we gonna do now?” I asked between stuffing my face.

Helping himself with what looked suspiciously like some kind of Mc Nuggets from a nearby frying pan, Gnarl pondered my question for a moment before answering. “Well Milady, we are still short of three Hives so I took the liberty of sending out scouts…”

Like on cue, the sound of tapping feet could be heard and a very dusty Minion skidded into the kitchen, coming to a halt in front of Gnarl and me.

“Speaking of the Minion and he shall appear.” Gnarl chuckled “Milady, this is Sniffle, one of the few Browns with a halfway decent set of skills when it comes to scouting.”

Sniffle immediately started gibbering in what I in a moment of extreme smarty-pantsness dubbed ‘Minionese’, with my absolutely loyal adviser listening attentively. Halfway through Sniffles report, Gnarls face lit up like a gasoline depot after a visit from a pyromaniac.

“Great news Milady. Sniffle here just informed me that they have found the Red Minions. Obviously they are kept prisoner by some kind of… well, it sounds rather ridiculous Milady…” Gnarl wrung his claws with rare hesitance.

“Well, humor me my walnutty friend.”

“Well… obviously the Reds are prisoners of some kind of dog creatures that run a mining operation of sorts.”

What the everloving clusterfuck?!? My Minions were held prisoner by dogs? Mining dogs? I don´t know how I managed to not shout out ‘Diamond Dogs’ loud but I did. If Gnarl would tell me that they use them to cook their food next, I would so be calling cheap Halfling mission knock-off!

Gnarl looked at me, head slightly cocked to the side “Milady, are you all right?”

Obviously my pokerface had not been that good. “Äh, no, I mean, yes. Yes I´m all right. You were right Gnarl, that sounds indeed ridiculous. Mining dogs. Ah ha ha…”

That statement seemed to satiate my adviser as he turned back to Sniffle, talking in Minionese again. The Scout-Minion nodded a few times, gibbered a half comprehensible goodbye and scampered off.

Rubbing his claws, Gnarl looked pretty happy as he stated “Wonderful, wonderful. Finally we are making some progress. Once Milady has secured the Red Hive, we will be able to proceed more aggressive with our campaign. Also, should we be able to enslave these dog-things, we would have a steady source of income to start bigger raids. Please follow me back to your Ladyships throne room and I will explain the towers teleport platform to you.”

Finishing the last bits of my breakfast, I followed Gnarl once again. Did that quite a lot lately, I noticed. Once we reached our destination, I noticed another thing. Well, two. One, right in the center of the room, a big circle of blue runes pulsed with a rather ominous light that was adding a huge portion to the general ‘evil Overlady-ness’ of the place and two, Onyx. The dragoness entered the room through one of the big windows just as Gnarl and I did through the door.

“Hey demonette, what’s going on? Out there, your little kobolds are running around like ants whose hill was set on fire.” Onyx asked puzzled.

“Ah, perfect. Your Ladyship can take the walking flamethrower with you. I am mostly positive that a dragon should be useful on this endeavor. At least as a distraction to cover Milady’s retreat should things go awry.” Gnarl addressed both of us in his typical manner while he inspected the glowing runes.

“Eh, what? Care to repeat that you calcified, old fart?” My draconic friend snarled, baring her impressive teeth a bit.

Deciding not to add more napalm to the inferno, I said “Well, you remember what I told you about my Minions while we were trekking? Seems like my Reds are held captive in some sort of mine… Gnarl, where did you say this mine was again?”

“Oh, if Sniffle is right, it is several days from the Tower but conveniently the scouts found a ley-knot big enough for a one-way teleport. Once your are there Milady, it should pose no problem to find a more fitting location to summon your Minions and a permanent portal that can be used both ways.”

“Yeah, right. Anyways, I am going to get them back and maybe you would like to come with me? We´re gonna smash some stuff, scare the daylight out of everyone stupid enough to mess with us. Come on, this will be fun. Maybe we even find something valuable to loot during the whole thing.” I coaxed with a, hopefully, winning smile.

Onyx raised a brow (or what would count as a brow on a dragoness, seeing that she had not a single hair on her whole body) and ruffled her wings a bit.

“Come oo~oon, you know you want to~” I sing-songed. If this was going to be violent and sure as fuck it would, Onyx would be an immense help. You just don´t mess with fire-breath, diamond cutting claws and a hot temper wrapped up in the armored hide of a dragon if you have at least one active brain-cell left.

Finally, Onyx caved in. She threw her claws up with an annoyed expression. “Tch, fine, fine, I´ll tag along.” Her expression turned into a smug one “I mean, someone needs to save your butt if you mess up, hn Umbra?”

That seemed to somehow offend Gnarl because the old Minion shook his stick angrily at Onyx. “Don´t be so full of yourself you oversized handbag. We Minions are more than capable to protect our Lady if the need should arise!”

Snorting amused, Onyx waved Gnarl off. “Yeah, sure.”

“Well, it sure is nice to know that I am so cosseted.” I quipped smirking at Gnarls and Onyx’ bickering, ready to step between the two should it become necessary. Or maybe I would just stand there and watch them duke it out. Or hide behind my throne if push would come to shove.

With a huff, my adviser turned to me. “Anyways Milady, let us not waste time with idle talk. There is evil that needs to be done, Minions who want to be found.” A group of Minions came up to me, carrying the Beast and my helmet. As I took them Gnarl smiled. “Now, that is a view that warms my old, black heart. A battle-ready dark Ruler, prepared to unleash the Minions of war onto the world. Now Milady, please step into the runic circle and in a heartbeat you will find yourself at your destination. Do not worry, it should be safe.”

“Should be?”

“Ach, don´t worry Milady. Now off you go, chop-chop.” Gnarl shooed me on the platform.

“Don´t worry, I´m right behind you Umbra. But hey, if you end up as a pile of dust by chance, can I have your tower? It would make for a totally radical horde.” I heard Onyx say from behind me.

“Over my dead body!” Gnarl immediately barked.

“That’s manageable.” I could practically hear Onyx show of a full-fanged smile as an answer.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I tightened my grip around my weapon and stared at the floor. I tapped it with a boot. “Hey, how does this wo…”

“..rk?” A sudden flash of blue light later I was not in my tower anymore. I was still somewhere in the mountains, if the scraggy environment was any indication. A breeze arose and I was able to smell an interesting mixture of things. Smoke, wet dogs and sulfur. Giving in to my curiosity, I followed the scent and after only a few meters I came to a halt. There, in front of me was the mine. It was more looking like a stone pit really, a big crater swarming with life like an reversed anthill. Even from my look-out I could identify the hunched over creatures milling around down there clearly as Diamond Dogs. With growing curiosity, I watched the bipedal canine’s mill around. Some dogs wearing shabby vests were digging in shallow holes seemingly without much of a plan. Other dogs clad in simple grey armor seemed just to stand around or do short patrols, bearing crude spears just like in the show. At the far end of the pit, a large tunnel led underground. Counting on my luck, my Reds were held captive at the deepest point of the whole burrow.

“Wow, Diamond Dogs. Never thought I would see a pack that big so close to the Badlands. Normally they settle in areas with a much higher gemstone concentration.” Onyx stated as she suddenly appeared behind me.

“Diamond Dogs? Really? They look more like, dunno, Shale Mutts to me or something.” I watched a particular dog carrying a bucket full of faintly shimmering chunks of stone out of his hole and towards some kind of slide that led into the deeps of the pit.

“Don´t underestimate them Umbra. They may not look like much but even as stupid as they are, they can overwhelm capable fighters with their mass. Plus they like to attack from below. Stupid tikes.” Onyx crossed her arms angrily as she watched the dogs run to and fro.

Turning to her, I saw a pretty dark expression on Onyx face. Guess there was some bad blood with the mutts in her past. “Sounds like you ran into them once or twice. What happened? Did they stole your favorite gems?”

“Something like that. I don´t wanna talk about it right now.” Onyx mumbled rather glumly.

“Wow, sorry, did not mean to re-open old wounds. For now, let us go down there and find the portal so I can summon my Minions. Then we get us a big newspaper and beat some obedience into these mutts. Sounds good?” I offered.

That brought a smile back onto Onyx features. “Yeah, sounds great. Just instead of a newspaper, I´ll use my claws.”

“That´s acceptable.” I shouldered my mace as Onyx began to make her way down the pits wall. The way down was remarkably unremarkable. I nearly slipped thrice much to She-Dragons exhilaration. Once we reached ground level, I switched to ley-sight and behold, there was the location Gnarl had talked about. To me, it was like a leak in the ley-lines, spouting the lifejuice of the universe.

>>Very good Milady. You made it to the crack. Now, just reach out and the portal should come out.<< Gnarls voice suddenly rang in my ears.

>>Uuh, telepathy, nice. Test, test. Does this work both ways?<<

After a short pause, Gnarls voice buzzed again >>Uhm, technically it should Milady. Though I must admit all dark Rulers before your Ladyship never bothered to use the link to me in that way.”

>>Well, then I´ll be the first. Booyah.<< I added a mental smirk and fist-pump. This promised to be one hella fun.

“Hey. Hey Umbra! You still here?” A black claw was waved in front of my face.

“Oh, eh? Yes, still here. Just got a call from Gnarl.” I ignored my scaly companions puzzled look like a Pro “Anyways, we´re here. I think I should be able to call a portal here. Well, let´s see, how do I do this?” I held out my left hand and focused my thoughts. Normally these portals should be poppin´ up on their own once I am near them, shouldn´t they?

“Wow Umbra. You have like, no plan at all, have you?” Onyx commented with the tiniest bit of concern coloring her words.

“Until now, following my gut instinct worked pretty well.”

Onyx grimaced, her tail beating a nice rhythm on the ground. “Please tell me you have at least some kind of plan? Twelve percent of a plan? A rough idea? Anything?”

I was about to retort as a low rumble could be heard from bellow our feet. Onyx flared her wings and her pupils became thinner. I for my part tightened the grip around the Beast. Did the dogs saw us? Were we about to end up as chewing toys for some mutts? Would they use us for labor? I highly doubted that I would be able to whine my way out…

With a showy flash of light, a half-circle of black pillars grew from the ground, followed closely by a big round stone plate as a centerpiece, that had faintly glowing runes all over its surface. After that, a much smaller Minion portal grew right beside it, yellowish fog wafting out of it. After a few seconds, the bald head of a Brown appeared and soon the little kobold was standing in front of me, performing an enthusiastic salute.

>>Perfect Milady. You just established a waypoint portal that can be used to travel to your tower and back. Now, gather your Minions and save the Reds so we can get our little campaign of darkness and terror started.<< Gnarls excited voice buzzed in my ears.

With a boulder off my shoulders, I wasted no time and with a series of ‘schlpp!’-sounds and joyful exclamations, my little army grew from one to thirty in no time. With a wide smirk under my helmet, I turned to Onyx. “Well my scaly friend, for starters I have these.” I pointed at the mass of demented smiles and a disposition for senseless violence. “I think they should be quite efficient as our newspaper, wouldn´t you say?”

“Yeah, yeah, let´s just get this show on the road so we can go back home. This place stinks and we haven’t even entered it properly yet.” Onyx grumped.

“Sure, let´s rock. You there,” I addressed my Minions, pointing my hand at the only visible entrance to the pit I could see “form two groups, go over there and hold the position until I say otherwise. Let no one in or out.” With a satisfied nod, I watched the Browns execute my order, effectively blocking the way just in case. Okay, one thing left to do before we would jump head over heels into the fray. “Ey, Onyx?”

“Yes?”

“I just wanted to say… y´know, thank you. That you kicked Gnarl out of my bedroom and did not let him undress me when I was out like a light.” I shivered at the thought of the old Minion and his grabby claws all over me “How did you figure out that I would not sleep in my armor?”

“No big deal Umbra. We girls have to watch out for each other hn?” Onyx smiled toothy. “Bout that, I figured since your all nice and squishy under your shell you would be like those ponies. They never sleep in armor.”

“Sounds like you know some ponies rather well hm?”

“More or less. Hey, aren’t we here to get your kobolds back and beat up some dogs?”

“Right. Let´s go then.” With a queasy feeling growing in my stomach, I strode past my Minions, calling them to my side again and into the dogs territory. I could feel Onyx and the Minions presence behind me which was somehow reassuring. Maybe I would be able to intimidate these mutts enough so that they would just hand over my hive and surrender themselves to me.

Heh yeah, fat chance.

Three dogs in armor noticed me almost immediately after entering the premises and hobbled over in a three-legged fashion, holding their spears ready with one forepaw. They looked like some kind of bulldogs.

“Hey! You there! You no dog! What you doing here?” the leading dogs barked aggressively.

“Well, ehrm…” I took a quick peek over my shoulder to make sure if Onyx and my Minions were still there.

>>Milady, don´t beat around the bushes. Show these dogs that you are superior! Make them cower in fear for their miserable, flea-ridden lives at your boots!<< Gnarls voice went off in my ears again.

The old coot was right. If you showed a dog that you were afraid, it would bite. So no fear girl! Gathering all my moxie I took a step forward, attempting to look as tall and imposing as possible. “Yeah, damn right! I am no dog, I am Umbra the Overlady. I am the dark Ruler, the Mistress of Minions. I am all the things that go bump in the night and I am here to take my Red Minions back that you are holding captive. Also, you will hand over all off your treasures and swear loyalty to me or else I will… I will… ehrm… yes, or else I will have my fearsome dragon here burn your miserable dwellings to ashes and make you eat your own tails!”

The guard dogs looked at me with cocked heads and confused expressions. Probably used to big words for them.

“Okay, for stupid’s now. Me Umbra. Me Overlady. Me take back little fire-throwers and will be new pack leader or else I will make you all big aua boo-boo!”

That however they seemed to understand, seeing as the dogs began to laugh loudly. After a while, the leader wiped a tear from his eyes after he calmed down enough. “Bwah ha ha, you funny. You wanna be pack leader? You and black dragon be new diggers for rest of your lives. Get them!” At that, the other two dogs moved forward to capture us.

Whelp, so much for a peaceful surrender. Before I could formulate a coherent thought, I raised my left hand like a reflex and a horn-signal could be heard. Immediately my Browns surged forward and onto the guard dogs with wildly swinging clubs and screeched battle-cries.

The two advancing dogs literally drowned in an avalanche of wiry bodies while the third showed at least traces of intelligence. He avoided the fate of his unlucky brethren as he ran around the wild brawl, right at me.

The dog thrust his spear forward and time slowed down. With my heart beating a furious staccato, I watched the spearhead with morbid curiosity.

>>Milady! Do something!<< Gnarl yelled in my ears.

>>Yeah, do something. Anything. Just don’t let him impale you, you fuckwit!<< my own inner voices screamed at me all at once.

“Fuck!” I screamed as the rusty weapon scraped along my pauldron thanks to a badly aimed thrust, scaring the everloving shit out of me. The impact hurt but I was still alive. Adrenalin hammered through my system as I fixated the guard dog. I could see the disappointed expression on his ugly mug as the dog readied his weapon for the second try.

With a shout that was even parts angry and afraid, I swung the Beast in an upwards arc, catching the dog in his chest plate and send him stumbling back into the Minion-Dog pile with a visible dent in his protective gear. The sound of the impact of my heavy weapon on crude armor made me wince.

>>Quick Milady, this is a golden opportunity. Use your corruption spell on those mutts. Use it to hammer the fear of their new ruler into their two brain cells!<< Gnarl instructed me. I could practically hear him gesticulate wildly as he did so.

I wasted no time, called back my Minions and built up the magic in my hand. No need for them to get caught in the crossfire. As soon as I had a clear field of fire, I let loose. Crackling arcs of lightning jumped from my left hand and into the three dogs. Their expressions changed from confusion to pain as they squirmed howling on the ground in front of me.

>>Yes, like that Milady. Keep the spell up until their free will crumbles like an decayed bone under the heel of a rock giant!<< Gnarl supplied mentally.

I felt something… weird. The moment my spell made contact with the dogs, it felt like I was pressing against a wall of sorts. Resistance. I could not remember feeling something like this before when I used my spell on Griffin Mc Jerkass. Or maybe I did and just did not remember it. It felt like I was pressing my forehead against the dog’s foreheads, staring them in the eyes and trying to make clear that I am the top bitch now in some sort of pushing contest. Surprisingly it didn’t took long until I felt the resistance was washed away like a sandcastle facing a tsunami.

>>Very good Milady. Now stop the spell. More and you will have three dust piles instead of three slaves. Not that vaporizing these mutts would not work in your Ladyships favor to cement your superiority but why waste useful cannon fodder?<< Gnarl cackled.

Ending my spell, I watched the dogs attentively. After they stopped howling and trashing around, they stoop up shakily. Seeing them struggle to stand up-right and the small trails of smoke waft of from their bodies, I felt a weird cold crawl into my stomach. >>Ey, no getting cold feet now. They had the chance to surrender and they choose the hard way. They got what they asked for!<< the loudest of my inner voices raged at me. “Easy for you to say, you’re just a voice in my head.” I mumbled back under my breath. “Okay. Hey dogs. Who´s your boss now?”

The Diamond Dogs looked at me, blinking. “You is boss, Alpha.” They answered submissively. Neato, it worked obviously.

“Hehe, this is great. I´m gonna call you Noodles, Fifi and Lassie.” I could not help but smile a teensy tiny bit malevolent as I pointed at the dogs, renaming them.

>>Milady, please stop playing with those mutts and return to your duties. There are still Minions to be found!<< Gnarl grumped over our mind-link.

“Hehe, okay, sorry Gnarl. Got a bit caught up in the moment.”

A pained yowl made me turn around and witness a scene of, admittedly, pretty awesome action. My Minions had split up and were engaging several dogs in combat. The little buggers were bludgeoning the literal shit out of the unlucky Diamond Dogs even though I saw a few Minions being impaled by lucky spear thrusts or shredded by sharp claws. They even dissolved afterwards with the iconic skull shaped cloud.

“Hey Umbra! You are welcome to do something else than talking with thin air! This is your show after all!” Onyx shouted, using her tail to trip one guard dog while she delivered a solid straight right to another dogs face, sending it´s helmet flying. Two more dogs were already laying to her feet, looking like they had been mauled by an, well… angry dragon.

“Tone it down a bit Onyx. I need as many as possible for later.” I made my way over to Onyx. My Minions had been victorious in their respective battles while their opponents seemed to have fled the scene as proven by the fact that no lifeforce was presented to me by my loyal Minions. The thing about being linked to me on a subconscious level seemed to have them all drilled onto conquering this lovely hole in the ground with as much living inhabitants as possible. With a gesture, I called them back and did a quick headcount. I was down four Minions but the surviving kobolds were now sporting various power-ups in form of dented helmets and some spears that looked more like pikes in comparison to their new owners size.

“Meh.” Onyx kicked one of the downed dogs and looked at me questioningly. “So, what now?”

I shrugged “My best guess would be going down the dogs hole.”

At that, Onyx flared her wings and shook her horned head. “No way demonette. No treasure is worth going down such a stinking dog hole. I hate these tunnels. They are damp, dark and most important, they can come down on your head every damn second!” She even made a step back to punctuate her point.

Gnawing at my lip, I weighted my options. I had counted on Onyx muscles and general intimidation factor against the dogs but seeing how strongly she was against entering the den, it looked like I could forget that. Well, still had my Minions. They should do the trick too. Also, if everything went down the drain, I could just run like a little bitch. No shame in a tactical retreat. “Okay, okay. You don´t like dog tunnels, I get it. So, think you could stay out here and keep an eye on the portal for me? I don´t need any dogs sneaking in my tower and pissing on the carpets.” I offered.

Looking slightly miffed, Onyx put her fists on her hips “Do I look like some of these mutts to you Umbra?” I was about to say something pacifying as she cut me off “Fine, I play watchdragon for ya but let me make one thing clear. If you die down there, don´t except me to drag your sorry carcass out of there. If you kick the bucket, I will leave you in that hole and take your tower for myself. Got that?”

“You made you point my dear dragoness,” I conceded before addressing the gibbering horde “Well, onwards my Minions. To blood and loot!” With that, I entered the Dogs Den, Minions and brainwashed Diamond Dogs in tow.

It was dark. I could barely see farther then three meters. Four if one were generous. Also, it stank. But what really surprised me was the utter lack of resistance I met down here. Me and my little invasion force were walking the tunnels for quite a while now and the only resistance we met so far had only consisted of a lone dog that tried to ambush me from a small hole in the main tunnels ceiling.

My stomach still lurched a bit, remembering how my Minions mulched the poor mutt, presenting me a flickering, brown soul afterwards.

We reached a larger room that was stuffed under the ceiling with barrels, crates and… vases? Seriously? Remembering that most of my Minions still were only sporting their clubs, I gestured to my kobolds, sending them out with a mental command. Happily they obliged and shredded through the defenseless wooden containers, leaving only sawdust in their wake. I watched with amusement as they retrieved several Diamond Dog helmets and a few pickaxes to replace their clubs. Huh? Why would Diamond Dogs need pickaxes? Choosing to ignore this, my wandering gaze fell upon a simple iron lattice door. I stepped closer and my mouth started to water. Just behind the door was an honest to fuck treasure chamber. Moderate piles of gold glimmered in the torchlight, big gemstones dotting the piles like stars the night sky and right in the middle of all sat what looked like the lovechild of a volcano and a flugelhorn.

“The red Hive!”

>>The red Hive!<<

Gnarl and I exclaimed simultaneously. I searched the door for a handle of sorts but nope, no handle. Why should it ever be easy? Just a big, old-fashioned and of course, locked padlock. Fuck you very much universe!

Wait, a padlock? Just a simple padlock? Who in his or her right mind would secure a treasure chamber with just a padlock? I mean, Diamond Dogs could probably shred this thing in seconds without breaking a sweat. Or anyone else with enough strength and a heavy, blunt weapon.

Two well measured strikes of the unleashed Beast and an annihilated padlock later, I was standing in the treasure chamber, trying my best not to try an Uncle Scrooge. Instead I ordered eight of my Minions to carry the Hive back to the portal and afterwards to start relocating the treasure to my tower too. But turned out the Browns were unable to touch the Reds birthplace without bursting into flames so I ordered them to start with the treasure first. That done, I indulged myself a bit by throwing handfuls of coins into the air to rain down on me. As the coins pinged of my armor and helmet, I suddenly heard a guy’s voice.

"Uhh. This is the...Animorph...Wade. Call me...if you need any help?"

“Uh? Who said that?” I could not see anyone but my Minions and Dogs in the room. “Did you hear that too?” My lackeys gave me blank looks and I questioned my mental health just a wee lil´ bit. Until I heard it again. This time I was able to somewhat pinpoint the location. The voice came from my own helmet!

“Gah, my helmet is possessed!” I tossed my headgear on the ground and prepared myself to smash it and the unholy spirit possessing it with my mace as a small, blue thing fell out of it. Curious, I picked it up for further inspection. It was a cube. A blue glowing cube. Looked a bit like a dice sized tesseract. It was probably buried in the coins I had showered myself with and somehow slipped into my helmet.

“Well, what in the name of St. Pete’s sanitary sandals is that?” I asked no one in particular. I could feel something weird from it, but the good way of weird. Like, a Nutella and cheese sandwich or cucumber with mustard weird.

Deciding to investigate this mini tesseract later, I stuffed it into my belt pouch. I still had a Dog Den to conquer and a tiny voice in my mind kept yelling at me that I would need to best some kind of Boss before I could claim this lovely hole in the ground for my growing dark domain.

Following the only available passage, I finally stepped into a really large room. A wall of hot air greeted me, paired with the smell of hot iron. I was in a forge! All around, weapons and armor in different states of completion hung or lay around. Several big anvils stood here and there and the whole room was enlightened by a huge ass smith hearth, filled to the brim white-hot coals. Half a dozen small cages were arranged around the hearth, each containing a single Red Minion, probably being used to regulate the fires exact temperature if I had to guess. A system of makeshift chimneys coming down from the ceiling seemed to function as an exhaust system. A huge smelter stood in the background, assumingly full of molten metal, ready to be poured in forms and forged.

“Wow.” was all I could say.

“Impressed by my forge, I take?” A deep voice rumbled and shook me out of my thoughts.

“Huh? Oh… yeah… pretty sweet forge I say.” I rushed out in a reflex.

“I get that a lot. Actually, no, that is not true. Since no creature besides me has been ever granted the right to enter it.” A big shadow moved between the racks and tools. “But here you are, a foolish little intruder waltzing into my sanctum like you owned it. I heard you wish to challenge me to a fight over my pack? When I first heard it, I thought another Alpha had showed up, a without a doubt impressive rival I assumed. But what I see does not impress me at all.” With the sentence finished, the shadow leaped right in front of me.

Mother of every known god, that´s what I would call a Diamond Dog! The creature in front of me was not only looking down on me by at least one head, the imposing canine was also twice as wide as myself. He resembled a Doberman with black and brown fur. His upper body was encased in a massive chest plate and chainmail and curious enough, his lower jaw was protected by a facsimile made of polished metal. The dog’s massive arms stuck in something I would call fingerless smiths gloves up to the elbows, studded with scales the size of damn egg! Also, they differed in color and looked pretty familiar for some reason. Around his hips, the Badass Dog wore a wide belt with all kind of blacksmiths tools, hammers, tongs, all that jazz. Relatively small (compared to his whole body) but frighteningly intelligent yellow eyes bore down on me. He huffed a hot breath through his nose into my face and seemed to grow even larger. “You are standing in front of Steel Fang the Blacksmith, Alpha of Clan Pyrite, the raider of hordes and dragon slayer!” he boomed “And who are you, to dare setting as much as a single paw in my den?”

Holy cow, I could honestly not tell what intimidated me more at that moment; the fact that this Diamond Dog could articulate himself better than most people I know (myself included sometimes) the impressive titles (boy was I happy to have left Onyx on the surface, she would have probably flipped a whole fuckin´ mountain) or the fact that I had a healthy respect for Dobermans ever since the neighbor’s dog nearly turned me into kibbles when I tried to get a remote controlled plane back from their garden.

I stared at the Alpha, my throat unable to decide to imitate the Mojave in its sheer dryness or to get all choked up. Or both at the same time.

>>Milady, shake it off!<< Gnarl yelled through the mind-link, adding what felt like a mental kick >>You are the Envoy of Darkness itself. You do not cower in front of a dog; it cowers in front of you! That dog may be a bit bigger than your Ladyship but have your Minions. Use them! Bury this mutt underneath a Minion avalanche!<<

>>Uh, I don´t know Gnarl… do we really need the Reds? I mean, lookit ´em. They don´t seem to be unhappy here, do they?<<

As if on cue, a Red Minion started to clatter a tin cup against its cage bars while another started to rattle at them with all its scrawny might.

I could practically feel Gnarls ‘Seriously?’ face.

>>Okay, fine, but I am sooo coming back to haunt your wrinkly ass for all eternity Gnarl!<<

“Well, ehrm… Name´s Umbra… the Overlady. I´m here for my Red Minions and, uhm… to conquer your den for my… dark domain… Mr. Steel Fang, sir.” I all but meeped.

Veeery good girl, spoken like a true conqueror.

The Alpha stared at me unmoving for several moments, until he suddenly burst into roaring laughter. The sheer force of his mirth shook the racks and caused my cheeks to explode with burning heat. I always hated being laughed at. Ever did, ever will do.

Steel Fang took his sweet time laughing his ass of on my costs, while I wished for him to drop dead in the most excruciating manner possible!

“Stop laughing!” I shrilled, my voice cracking from the sudden rise of volume.

And lo and behold, Steel Fang stopped laughing. For exact one point four seconds before exploding into even more raucous fits of laughter.

Finally, he calmed down more or less. Still slightly wheezing, the Alpha regarded me with what I could only describe as pure amusement. “Oh, mountains bones, I have not laughed this heartily since my old Beta tried to challenge me for the position of Alpha last week and I nailed him under the ceiling with his own claws to bleed out there slowly.” He made a sweeping gesture with one paw “You may go, since you amused me so greatly. I allow you to live. For today. You can even take those three there,” the point at the brainwashed Dogs ”with you, seeing as you somehow managed to make yourself their leader. Now shoo, I must go back to my work. My scouts told me of a strange building, a dark tower that rose from the mountain itself a few nights ago. I must to prepare myself for I plan to take it for myself, to make it my citadel. Surely it´s master will be an opponent worthy of my time.” With that, he turned around and trotted to his anvil.

I seethed, rage bubbling up in my stomach. Who did that fucking son of a mangy bitch thought he was? First, he laughed his damn ass off over me, threatens me like a small kiddy throwing a temper tantrum over some cookies, being all condescendingly benevolent and stuff and on top, he wanted my tower? The tower I braved a fucking, dragon invested wasteland for? The tower I fought tooth and nail against a crazy unicorn for? I nearly lost my soul to the ley-stream to? No fucking dice!!!

Without even thinking, my left hand shot forward and magical lightning illuminated the underground forge as it found its target in Steel Fangs back.

“Don´t you even dare to turn your back on me like that fucker!” I screamed as I pumped every ounce of rage and mana into my spell “I´m going to take back my Minions, I´m going to take this shithole you call a den, all your treasure and I´m gonna keep. My. Bloody. TOWER!”

Eventually my magical juice ran out and so did my spell. Breathing heavily I leaned on my mace for support as I felt the symptoms of magic withdrawal creep into my skull. It felt like a massive hangover with additionally little spots of light dancing all over my field of vision. “Well, so much for that… that was easier that I thought.” I looked over to the still smoking form of Steel Fang “To stubborn to just disintegrate hn? And ya died standing on top of that. Well, respect where it is due.” I prepared to move my tired body back to Onyx as I heard something that made my blood freeze.

A growl.

Steel Fang turned around agonizingly slow. His ears were pinned against his skull as he showed me his pearly whites. “Well, that hurt.” He declared “As much as a newborn pup, gnawing at its mothers teats!” The Alpha reached into a nearby rack and took out a massive hammer. Axe. Hammer-axe… one of those things you normally use to split especially stubborn pieces of firewood. “Very obliging of you to tell me that, now I don´t need to waste material for creating new weapons and armor to conquer the mysterious tower. I´ll just kill you with my old forging hammer and wear your hide as a cape when I take the tower for me.”

With a roar and faster than anything his size and mass should be allowed to move, Steel Fang closed the distance between us, his weapon raised in a single paw.

I managed to stumble back with a panicked shout, trying to get some distance between the pissed off dog and my so not blunt trauma immune body.

The hammer fell and hot blood splashed all over my face. Weird enough no searing pain flooded me like I would have excepted. Instead, a gurgling yowl turned my attention downwards. At my feet lay the mangled remains of Noodles, Fifi and Lassie. They must have thrown themselves between me and certain doom.

“Fuck…”

Steel Fang regarded his victims with a disdainful glare and raised his weapon again.

The hammer-axe thundered down and I only evaded it by a hairs wide with another quick jump backwards.

>>Milady, use your Minions for Darkness sake!<< Gnarl shouted in my ears.

“Yeah… right…,” I stammered “Minions, charge!” I hastily held out my palm. Immediately, the brown mass surged forward, the fearless kobolds swarming around and over Steel Fang like angry ants, beating and stabbing away with all their minion-y might.

“Grah…! What is this? Get of you little… pests!” the enraged Alpha barked, swinging his weapon and paw in an attempt to free himself from my diminutive soldiers.

Watching my frightening foe pluck my Minions one by one from his bulky frame, I franticly tried to come up with a plan. Ha! The Reds! If I could free them, they could torch Steel Fangs furry ass! Ducking under three flung away Minions, I sprinted over to the cages. The little flamethrowers greeted me with excited chants of ‘Master! Master!’ and rattling at their bars.

Another Minion got flung into and subsequently impaled onto one of the numerous weapon racks in the forge.

“Fuckfuckfuckfuck… where´s the release mechanism? There is always a release mechanism or something.” There was nothing. No obvious, big lever on the wall or the floor, nothing dangling from the ceiling.

Another Minion found its end between Steel Fangs namesake.

“FUCK!” I yelled, desperately banging my fist on the cage next to me and its door swung open. “Wut?” Disbelieving I stared at the happily smiling Red that came out of its cage, stretching its limbs. “Are you fucking kidding me? These cages just have a children safety mechanism?”

The Minion just shrugged at me.

A quick glance told me that I was down to ten Browns. As fast as I could I released the last five Reds. As soon as the last Red Minion was free, I pointed at Steel Fang “Torch him!”

The Reds happily obliged and soon, apple sized fire globs sailed through the air, impacting with uncanny precision on free spots between my remaining Browns, scorching fur and flesh. “Yes, yes! He´s going down!” I cheered.

Then, as if on cue, things went downhill. From one moment to the next, Steel Fang stopped struggling and instead hunkered down. Just to abruptly shot upright and let out a powerful howl. The howl formed a literal, rapidly expanding dome of sound that blew every remaining Minion and me from our feet.

Struggling to my feet with a spinning head, I stumbled backwards as the growling Alpha stalked towards me.

“Enough of this!” Steel Fang growled, crushing a dazed Minion under his paw and swinging his weapon at me.

Evading the blow in best drunken master manner by falling flat on my ass I began to crawl backwards.
A blue light shone in the corner of my eye. The cube thingy! It must have fallen out of my pouch somehow. Instantly I reached out for it. If I ever were in need of help, now was the time. Crawling on my knees and one hand, the cube clutched in the other I more or less pleaded “Okay… is this thing on? Could need a lil´ help here. Pretty please? Hello…? Please?...”

The cube pulsed once and then. Nothing.

The ground next to me literally blow up due to a heavy hit from Steel Fang, pushing me on my back.

The Alpha Dog sneered down at me. “This ends now!” he declared.

Tears welled up in my eyes.

Suddenly, without any ceremony, a figure plopped out of thin air and landed directly between me and Steel Fang.

“Guh… what the…” I heard a guy’s voice mutter. It was the same from the message. But before I could react, my supposed savior caught a massive backhand that send him into the next wall with a sickening crunch.

“Oh god, no…” I whimpered.

“It´s over!” Steel Fang stated with finality.

I looked up, just to see his weapon descend, the axe part first. Something ripped through my helmet downwards.

Then, blinding light.

[...]

Pain. Pain and light and light that was pain and painful light. Up was down was left was right was forward was backward was everywhere and nowhere.

After what felt like an eternity of pain, confusion and tears the blinding light left my vison, revealing dark stone.

Sobbing and shaking uncontrollably, I clutched my arms in a vain attempt to calm myself down from hysteria that should have remained unknown to every living soul.

Also, trying my hardest not to vomit my soul out.

“Milady?”

I did not respond, keeping the fetal position I had found myself in.

“Milady? What… are you alright?” That sounded genuinely concerned as far as I could tell.

“Garl?” I recognized that I somehow was lying on the floor of my throne room, my cheek pressed against the polished stone. Must have lost my helmet somehow.

“Yes Milady, it is me.” Two clawed feet entered my field of vision.

“Gnarl… I feel like a prehistoric piece of shit that had been blasted by a megaton bomb and then flung in the heart of the sun itself.”

The feet shifted uncomfortably. “Milady… do you know what… happened to you?” Gnarl asked me hesitantly.

“NoOooOoOoOOooo….” I moaned pitifully ”… also, I wannta hug…”

“Well…,” I heard the sound of scaly claws being wrung “I was never good at sugarcoating something your Ladyship so I´ll be blunt. You died. But this is nothing to be ashamed of I assure you. It happens a few times to every Overlord. All part of the learning process. Though the first time is always the worst, or so I was told.”

Suddenly I was sober. More than sober. I was two hundred percent sober. Totally and absolute soberness.

I clutched my head as the memories came back. The Forge, Steel Fang, his hammer-axe descending on me… slicing through my helmet and through my forehead down to my chin… killing me…

I screamed.

I screamed a wordless scream of agony, wrath and despair until my throat felt sore and on the verge of bleeding.

“How…?” I whispered hoarsely.

“The Tower Heart Milady. It is more than just a focal point of your Ladyships magic. It is connected to you in a deep, nearly unremovable way and anchors you to this plane of existence.” Gnarl explained in a calm way.

“So it brought me back?”

“Yes Milady, even though I must admit it was a pretty close call and it rendered our Tower Heart unable to do it again in a foreseeable future I´m afraid. Under normal circumstances, a Tower Heart needs to absorb ambient magic for several centuries before it could even hope to attempt a resurrection. That ours was able to do so after only being born a few days ago… it is unheard of. Not that I want to sound ungrateful your Ladyship.”

Standing up, I noticed my helmet and my mace on the ground. Picking up my helmet I saw that it was miraculously unharmed. I put it back on. “Gnarl, fire up the portal.” I ordered, taking my mace.

“Uh, Milady… is that wise? Maybe we should come up with a strategy first urgh…”

Grabbing Gnarl by his scruff, I brought him close to my face. “I said portal! That was an order you fuckwit!” Ungently I let go of my adviser “That fucking mutt killed me hn? Well, I say I gonna go n´ repay him with the same coin. I gonna break his legs and arms on his own anvil and drown him in his fucking smelter!” I pressed through my teeth as rage began to boil up in my stomach again. “What’s taking so long with the portal?”

With a thin but wide smile on his face, Gnarl bowed down low. “It is ready Milady.”

“Good.” My grip around my weapons handle tightened as I stepped into the portal once again.

I had a dog to slaughter.

[POV third Person, Steel Fangs Forge]

With a slightly annoyed look, Steel Fang stared at the point where the weird female just… vanished. He had really looked forward to skin her but now, he had to content himself with simply taking her tower. It would be a much better fortress than this measly den.

Still, that still left the other intruder that suddenly appeared to deal with. Given it had been an even weaker opponent than this Umbra but this were two trespassers in his forge in just one day. Something he could not let slide as the Alpha or else he would drown in wannabe usurpers faster than he could count to ten.

He noticed stirring. “Hmm, most intriguing.” The Diamond Dog leader muttered as he watched these new, brown creatures come to their feet, wobbling around or just staring blankly at nothing. Unlike the red creatures that came from this weird nest his dogs had found a few months earlier, the new ones seemed to be stronger, more resilient. Maybe he would find another nest in that soon-to-be-his tower.

Steel Fang allowed himself a smile. This was it. This was the starting point from which he would only grow stronger and stronger. He would take the tower as sign of his dominance and soon the other clans would join, pledge alliance to him, making Clan Pyrite even stronger. And then he would send his dogs out to conquer. They would enslave these damn ponies who did nothing but sitting idle on one of Equestrias richest gemstone deposits, make them put their abilities to good use in the mines instead of just singing and smiling like the ambitionless cowards they are. And then, when he was finally strong enough, he would climb Mt. Canterlot, devastate the city and slay or enslave those accursed princesses that had the gall to deny the Diamond Dogs what was rightfully theirs since uncounted generations. To be the top of the food chain in Equestria! His smile widened. Yes, this would be a good day.

So enthralled he was in his musings over future victories that he failed to notice the fast and heavy steps behind him, being taken by surprise as a heavy weight rammed into his back, nearly throwing him to the ground.

With a vicious snarl, the Alpha spun around and his eyes went wide. “You?”

There, right in front of him stood a figure, clad in black armor, with a raged red cape and an admittedly impressive mace in one paw. Her formerly whispy yellow eyes were now ablaze like torches, with small embers flying away from them.

“Missed me?” A toothy smile appeared underneath the helmet.

[POV Umbra]

“Missed me?” I asked, suppressing the urge to add a joker-esque cackle, instead opting for a Cheshire smile. A McFarlane one. Any other time I would probably been worried that Steel Fang absorbed my tackle like a fat kid would absorb Christmas cookies but right now, all I wanted was to tear him limb from limp.

The Dog snarled, taking a battle stance “No matter how you escaped last time, this time, I will have your hide!” With that, he lunged forward.

“Sorry sweetheart, no running this time.” I purred with eerie calmness born from a weird mix of hate and bloodlust that pulsed through my whole being.

It felt amazing!

Dodge.

Steel Fangs weapon cut through the air where seconds earlier my face had been.

Sidestep.

The heavy blow turned a rack filled with spears into sawdust. I could see the growing frustration in the massive canines face.

“Why.”

Another blow, this time aimed at my midsection graced my armor instead of turning me inside out as I managed to turn my body sideways just in the nick of time. Still felt it though.

“Won´t.”

Back.

“You.”

To the left.

“Die?!?” Steel Fang roared, swinging his hammer-axe downward. Foam started to fly from his muzzle.

Counter, now!

I swung my mace up with all I had, causing our weapons to clash midair. Both bludgeoning instruments bounced back from the impact. I nearly let go of the beast. Nearly. Turned out some books from video games really held a grain of truth after all.

“Had that once hun. It was horrible.” I quipped. My wrist hurt like hell infinite from the impact but Steel Fang seemed to far not better if not worse. He had changed his grip from right to left paw.

I stepped forward and for the first time the dog took a defensive stance. My smile widened as several small shadows appeared between the mess that once was a forge. A single mental command and the remaining Minions, Brown and Red alike, threw themselves at Steel Fang. I did not know how they did not ended in cages by now but sure as hell I would use this to my advance.

A Brown bit down on Steel Fangs ear, causing the dog leader to unknowingly open himself as he ripped the offending Minion of and crushed him against the floor.

“My turn.” Closing in, I held my palm in front of Steel Fangs nose and unleashed a Corruption Burst. The dog yelped in pain as the magical lightning blinded him and let go of his weapon.

I wasted no time and slammed my mace into his chest plate like a battering ram. Then I struck again. And again. Each strike caused the huge dog to stumble backwards more until he stood in front of the huge smelter.

“Now, let´s see if we can´t teach an old dog new tricks.” I declared and my Minions jumped off Steel Fangs body.

“Sit.” A blow with the Beast to his knee made it bent in an awkward angle and forced the battered Alpha on all fours.

“Down.” A strike with the pommel of my mace caused Steel Fang to lose his jaw protection and rear back in surprise, falling backwards. Right under the smelters outlet opening.

Walking around to the control lever of the smelter, I griped it and gave the dazed Diamond Dog a wicked smile. “Play dead!”

I yanked the lever down and molten metal poured out of the smelter like lava from a volcano. With immense satisfaction, I watched the nearly white substance made contact with Steel Fang. He screamed for approximately two seconds before the molten metal got into his maw. From there it did took not long for the frantic trashing to stop and the acrid smell of burned hair and the sickening yet appetizing smell of charred meat began to fill the air in the smithy.

A mass of red and yellow lights burst forth from the Alphas remains, whirling through the air like a swarm of fireflies before they all homed in at me and in a matter of seconds, vanished in my gauntlet. Neato, lotsa souls for mói.

>>Gnarl… you still there?<< I wheezed as the adrenaline wrecked my body.

After an unnerving silence, the aged Minions voice sounded in my ears >>Yes Milady, I am still here. I must say, this was a most impressive fight, I never thought you had that in you so early.<<

>>Fuck you too Gnarl…<<

>>No, no, what I meant is… wait. What´s that?<<

>>What´s wha… Oh!<< I was about to ask as I saw what Gnarl meant. Right over the remains of Steel Fang floated a cloud of black and dark red energy.

>>Is that? Oh yes, yes it is!<< Gnarl sounded like a cat that got both, the cream AND the canary.

>>What´s that? Explanations Gnarl.<< Slowly but surely I was getting impatient.

Gnarls happy chuckle echoed in my ears as he explained >>This Milady is the pure essence of unadulterated evil. It tends to amass itself in those with an truly bad character. It surprises me to no end to see that this dog held such a quantity of it. Quick Milady, reach for it and see if you can absorb it!<<

>>And I should do that because… ?<<

>>Because it is this energy that powers the Tower Heart, strengthens your Ladyship and in general would be a waste to let it simply dissipate.<< Gnarl said >>And who knows, maybe it could grant your Ladyship a new ability, more mana or something the likes of. Now quick.<<

“Hmm, valid reasoning.” I mumbled and reached my left hand out. As soon as I did, the essence cloud began to whirl in itself and formed a tendril like protrusion that flowed towards my hand and in a few moments, it completely vanished in my palm.

To be honest, I was underwhelmed. I expected a rush of power, a deep, dark warmth in my stomach or at least a static shock but zipp. >>Äh, Gnarl? Did it work? I feel nothing.<<

>>Hmm, give it time to settle Milady. Evil things should not be rushed.<<

“Well, `kay…” A groan could be heard from somewhere to my left. Oh shit, the guy that got owned by Steel Fang was still alive and I totally forgot about him! >>Gnarl, see that you send some Minions over to secure the area and get everything else of value to the tower. I need to take care of something.<<

>>Of course Milady, it will be done.<<

With that taken care of, I approached the groaning heap. For a moment, my gaze lingered at a spot on the wall that was slightly darker than the surrounding wall, bringing the wet crunch of the poor saps impact with the wall back to the forefront of my mind.

“Hey buddy, are you still alive? Need a hand?” I asked. The heap in front of me shifted and a head with a unruly mob of hair became visible. I tried my best smile but somehow the Universe seemed to be hell-bent on sucker punching me because as soon as I finished my question, the guy pointed at something behind me, screaming "Oh my god a distraction!" in a pretty girlish pitch. Still somewhat in combat mode, my head twitched around as my body tensed up, preparing to make good of the remaining Adrenaline still left in my system but there was nothing. Behind me, I heard the scuffling of feet, clawed and shoe wearing ones, a dull impact and satisfied Minions proclaiming a capture.

I was giving my best, resisting the urge to facepalm hard. Mainly because I fell for the old "oh hey, a distraction" trick. Okay, given I may not look like the person you would trust your children with right now but damn. This was downright insulting Animimi... Animorphous... Animorphisto... WADE! that was his name the recording said so imma just call him that.

With a bemused smile under my helmet I walked over to the gibbering pile of Minions with a pair of lanky legs and a mop of hair looking out under it. Crouching down, I removed my helmet and secured it at my belt (don´t ask me how, I never built a hook or something there). "Did you seriously just try to 'look over there', me? Are you really that freaking stupid?" I asked him with a slight scowl.

Pushing a Minion that was sitting on Wades neck away, I tried a diplomatic smile. "Okay buddy, how about that? My Minions gonna release ya and then, the two of us will have a nice, civil chat like the reasonable adults at least one of us is? Hn? Sounds good?"

"I like civil chats. Can I get you to Pinkie Promise to it?" he responded like a miffed child. Which was kinda funny, given the circumstances but if it would make him feel better.

With a most sincere smile, I said "Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eyaAARGH!" and made the necessary motions, only to poke my eye with my finger. "Gottverdammte Scheiße! Every damn time!" I swore and rubbed my eye.

"Okay, there. Now... just let me..." With a sheepish smile I shooed my Minions of him, some of them making disappointed noises. "Aw, don´t be like that. Make yourself useful, gather the Reds, bring their nest to the portal. Oh, and don´t forget the smelters and the treasures." I told my loyal little kobolds who scampered of afterwards, happily gibbering.

After that, I offered the still downed guy a hand to help him back on his feet.

"All right...you have my attention. I can't really scarper off to my own Equestria whenever I want, so feel free to talk as candidly as you want." My new acquaintance said “So...What’s up? You needed my help on something?"

After pulling Mr. Grumpy Mac Dupterson to his feet (dang, he was nearly as tall as me, haven’t noticed that until now), I dusted him of a bit.

"Well, goody... or rather... not goody. That really depends on the point of view here..." I tried to initiate a polite Smalltalk before clapping my hands together. "O~kay, how about we start over again, now that no crazy Pug on steroids is trying to rip us a new one? My name is Umbra and... oh." I felt an irritating heat flush my cheeks as I realized that he just got trashed because of me, which may or may not have caused his acute case of Crankeritis. "Oh shit man... I just... you got seriously trashed back then! Are you all right? How are you all right? When that Alpha Dog smashed you against the wall, I swear I heard some bones break!"

"I'm fine. You must have heard wrong." Wade stated, running a hand through his short black hair. Hmm, weird, coulda sworn I had seen a flash of brown when he popped into existence.

Letting out an audible sigh I continued "Boy, that’s a relief. Well, like I said, names Umbra but for the most I am simply the Overlady. As for what’s up, the ceiling I guess?" I gave a weak laugh. "Hmm, well, and help? Nice to offer, I could use some competent help to haul all the loot from the Alphas vault to the portal to my awesome fortress. Sucker went and snatched my Red Minions for his forge but not with me, no siree. Now he´s coal and his all his base belongs to me."

I stopped to give my counterpart a short, intrigued once over. "Say, what´s with that mini cosmic cube thingy? I mean, I found it in a pile of bits, suddenly a voice proclaimed 'call me if you need help', I guess I panicked a little as that asshat tried to kill me. Next thing I remember is you plopping from thin air."

"First a question of my own. Do you know ANYTHING about the world we're currently in, possibly relating to a TV show? And Were you perhaps at a Con of some sort before you found yourself...here?" he asked.

At that, I raised an eyebrow. Most intriguing.

"Hmm, well, as far as I know, this is the planet Equuis, the land of Equestria, a place called the Macintosh Hills. That’s a mountain range that borders to the Wasteland. It’s all part of the 'My little Pony' verse, created by Lauren Faust and Hasbro. Do not ask me where we are, season wise, I have yet to make contact with the ponies. Well, except for that fucker Crystal Flask." the last part, I added with an unintentional, low growl.

"As for the Con thing, yupp, went to a Con with a friend. Bought a replacement gem for my Gauntlet of Dominance there. Then, poof, I´m here, trying not be torched by freaking Crackle the Dragon for tryin´ to eat her miserable little hellspawn of a kid!"

"I'm just going to assume 'crackle the dragon' is a reference to something. Okay, so you're a normal Displaced, thats good to hear. To give you more information on the first question, some sort of interdimensional asshole picked up a bunch of humans, and slung them across the multiverse all to their own personal little Equestria. He calls himself the Merchant, and NO, I don't know anything more about him. All my information is secondhand. If you want more information, keep a lookout for-" Wade fished in his pants pockets before realizing whatever he searched for wasn't there. "A golden coin. I thought I had it in my pocket, but I don't, so I can't show you what it looks like. It’s almost the same as a bit, but the head and tail is different. It has a seesaw and the letters A and U on one side, and an eclipse thingy on the other side."

"Ah ha. Displaced. Kinda fitting." I gave a nod. "And the bastard responsible is called the Merchant hn? Good, now I have a name I can put on that wankers gravestone!" I growled, letting my Corruption spell build up shortly around my left hand before letting it flicker out.

That almost sounded all like some sick joke, a twisted amalgam of MlP and, dunno, the Cube? I felt my rage bubbling up again.

Anyways, Zen. Grande Zen! Building my dark dominion now, having gruesome revenge later.

Breathing in a view times to calm myself I asked "Sooo, this coin, if I find it, will it summon another guy like you? Do I get that right? And didn´t you had brown hair before? I´m pretty sure, now that I could get a better look at you."

"Brown? Yes. I went into my battle state,” Wade stated "Although you can probably tell, I'm not THAT much stronger."

NOW my eyes really lit up. Damn me for being such an sucker for animes!

"Battle state? Like, Son Gokus super sajan or Narutos sage mode? That is so cool!" I squeed a little and put an arm around my new companions shoulder, smiling wide. "And you can´t be that weak, I mean, you took that beating like a real Champ." I said in all honesty. "Hey how about..."

>>Test, test. Milady, can you hear me?<< Gnarls voice suddenly filled my ears.

"Uh? You´re not the voice I hear normally." I stated bluntly. I swear I heard Gnarl facepalm through the link.

>>Oh, I´m sure of that Milady. Be it as it is, the Minions just finished relocating the Reds Hive, the treasures and the smelters to the dark Tower. We are eagerly awaiting your return.<<

"Hey, good work Gnarl." I proclaimed joyfully before turning to my new buddy. "Hey, my custodian just told me that my Minions are done here, so how about we go back to my place hn? This burrow stinks to much like wet dogs for my taste and we could have a nice snack there, rest our feet a bit... plus, I kinda feel like I should make it up to you somehow that I dragged you into my mess. Wadda ya say Wadey?

He seemed to complement my offer for a moment but then he said "Sounds...good to me?"

"Goody!" I cheered, making a few steps forward, only to turn around and add in a slightly sultry tone "You won´t regret that handsome, I promise." with a wink for the extra effect.

"Hey Gnarl?" I addressed my loyal walnut via Minion intercom (I noticed I could talk out loud simultaneously when using my Overlady mind link. Made me looks less coo-coo so I just did that.)

>>Yes Milady?<<

"Have Wiener prepare some of the nice foodstuff, I´m bringing a guest over."

>>A guest? Oh, did Milady happen to acquire a mistress already?<< Gnarls voice sounded hopeful.

"Nope. Just a cool guy I nearly killed by accident." I pleasurably shattered the old lechers hopes.

After that, I took the lead and after a while, we thankfully exited the Diamond Dog den. Onyx was waiting near the portal, a visible scowl on her face.

"Umbra! Took you long enough! I was about to go without you. Your Imps are already back home." the dragoness fumed slightly before her gaze fell upon Wade who was walking at my side. "Who´s that?"

"I-I-I-I’m....Wade." Wade managed to stammer out, visibly paling. Huh? Onyx was not that scary, was she?

Onyx gave a huff and a raised brow at that.

"Onyx, meet Wade. Wade, meet Onyx." I introduced my dragon friend to my new friend amiably. "He´s cool. Play nice." I added, noticing that Onyx gave him the Evil Eye.

With a 'Hmpf, whatever.' the dragoness turned around and stepped onto the portal, disappearing in a small column of light.

Patting Wades shoulder I reasured him "Hey, I think she likes you. Now come on, I wanna show you my extremely epic tower of dark awesomeness. Just step onto the round stone. It´s like beaming." After that, I grapped his hand and more or less pulled him into the light with me.

Seconds later we appeared in my, still sparsely decorated throne room. I on my feet, Wade on his face.

Fighting hard to not laugh at the fact that Wade faceplanted into the floor, I picked him up and checked him for nosebleed or similar stuff. "He, sorry about the landing. Happens to me now and then to." I lied to make him feel better. White lies are no real lies, shut up! "Anyways, welcome to my Tower and my throne room Wadey. It’s a bit under furnished at the moment but I am working on that."

A shuffling noise made me aware of Gnarls presence.

"Ah Milady, there you are. And your guest too. Wiener has prepared a meal as per your orders, it is already served at the dining room. Oh and Onyx said something about being in the treasure chamber if you need her. I just hope the scaly lug won’t eat all of your Ladyships hard earned riches."

"Thanks Gnarl." I turned to Wade "C´mon, I show you the way."

After leading my guest through a few under furnished corridors, passing a few hard working Minions wearing their white overalls and yellow construction helmets we reached the dining room, now furnished with a moderately big table and chairs. On the table sat several plates with steaming dishes consisting of the really good stuff that mysteriously appeared together with my Tower. Potatoes, chicken legs, fresh bread and even a bottle unlabeled wine and a pitcher with water. Nothing grand but hot damn, I could not care less. Near the table was diligently waiting, Wiener my chef minion, his oversized chef hat in his hands.

Taking my seat, I send him back to the kitchen and gestured to Wade to take a seat too. "Well, dig in buddy. It´s not a grand feast but fuck, its delish. Wiener sure knows how to cook." I smiled while helping myself with the first course.

"MEAT." My guest uttered, doing a pretty good Monkey D. Luffy imitation, complete with a bit of drool.

I suppressed a chuckle as Wade ogled the menu.

Suddenly, something happened that I did not excepted. Wades whole body began to… in a lack of better words reorganize itself. His hair turned brown (HA, was right about that!), his eye color changed and his skin rippled like jelly. Even his clothes changed. "Ahem." He politely coughed, loading his own plate.

Okay. I admit, I stared. Slack jawed. And I think I nearly lost the few bites of chicken I already had intus due to Wades transformation. It was just... it reminded me somehow of Jeepers Creepers. Hhhuwää, shudder!

>>Ähem Milady? What just happened? I could swear I just felt a distinctive shift of power inside the Tower.<< Gnarls voice echoed in my ears. The old Minion sounded geniuly worried.

>>Everything is under control, just a reactor leak Gnarl.<< I thought back, my eyes still on Wade. The very moment he changed back to his "normal mode", I definitively felt something shift. It was as if his... aura, let’s call it that was altered itself. Before it he radiated a feeling of strength despite the fact that he received a heavy beating, with something underlying. A whole different kind of energy. It felt... pure in lack of better terms, so that is clashed radically with his other half of energy, yet it was somehow synched like a Ying-Yang symbol. Also, I noticed some weird blue mist leaving Wades body during the transformation. Mana, if Gnarls lessons taught me anything. >>So he needs magical energy in order to transform in both directions, interesting.<< I thought and catalogued that info under "possible useful" for later.

"Wow dude, no offense but that was kinda gross."

"Shifting kinda is. My dragon and disguise forms are even more of a spectacle. Flesh forming into scale and chiton, I actually made a little filly lose her lunch when she saw it." He laughed "Seeing as I haven't had actual meat in a while, would you mind if I started in on this?" Wade held up the chicken leg he had chosen from the plate.

"Wohoho, wicked." So he had several modes hn? This was getting more and more interesting.

"By all means, dig in. That´s what I brought you here for after all. We still have wagon loads in the kitchen." I poured myself some of the wine and took a swig. That stuff was nowhere near Absinth or Honey Mead but it was this or water.

"No real meat in a while eh? Lemme guess, you crashed down in your Equestria, some ponies found you and as soon as they noticed your canines the went all 'Ahhh, predator, meat-eater, monster! Please don´t eat my foal, here, eat my neighbor instead!' on you, am I right?" I asked between two hearty bites, speaking the pony part in my best Flower Trio impression.

"While that’s the case in most Equestrias I find.” He took a bite “In my Equestria, all the horses are omnivorous. Something about the higher content of protein found in meat. It’s hard to get a hold of though, and expensive to boot. So some bright guy got it in his head that they should magically breed the flowers to give the same proteins, to help get rid of wide spread malnourishment. They do the job, but they taste like flowers."

"You can still get imitation meat, in fact that’s what’s sold in most purely carnivore delis. It's magically shifted to LOOK like a cut of meat, has the right texture and smell, but it just doesn't taste the same." Wade explained after a sip of water.

"Good for you. I swear, if the Ponies here even try to make a scene for what I am, I gonna flip some serious tables on them. I mean, seriously, it is cannon that they eat eggs and butter, drink milk, eat baked goods, all the stuff a true vegetarian/herbivore would never dream about eating." Disposing my blank chicken bone in best wiking manner (throwing it over to a coincidently bypassing Minion who quickly scappered off with it) I grapped another. "That fake-meat sounds a lot like tofu to me though. Clever little horsies."

We spend the next better part of half an hour with stuffing our faces and making Smalltalk.

"That hit the spot, alright." With a content sigh, I leaned back in my chair. "Hope ya liked the good, old-fashioned, human eatin´ Wade?"

"I much appreciate it. Honestly, I'd rather have tofu instead the synthetic crap. But you don't want me just hanging around, eating your food, do you?"

Ah, to the point. In a display that would have made the teacher of my old schools drama club proud, I adapted a mock expression of dismay. I even put a hand over my heart for effect. "Why Wadey, you wound me so. Can´t a lovely lady like me not simply enjoy the presence of a handsome rouge like you, without having ulterior motivations?"

Damn, I even nailed the hurt damsel tone to a tee.

Ah well, to hell with that. Abandoning my charade, I leaned forward, speaking in my best 'let´s talk business' tone. "Okay then, let’s talk serious. It´s obvious that you don´t really trust me, not that I would hold that against you. A bit of distrust is quite a healthy thing. But I am not your enemy Wade and I do not intend to become one. I would rather prefer to be an Ally, we are both Displaced after all, aren´t we?" I focused my attention completely on my counterpart, watching his every reaction. "I am still quite intrigued about your cosmic cube thing that called you here. Is it possible for me to make such a thing for myself? Such a, let’s call it token, shall we? Of course I don´t expect you to part with any Information without receiving some form of compensation. I am more than willing to reimburse you in every possible fashion for your help."

Wade took a moment before he responded "I didn't make my token, Auric did. I keep meeting Displaced that seem to be able to make their token on their own though, so my best bet would be, pick up something you want to be your token, and try to make it into one. If you give it to me, I'll hand it off to Auric the next time I see him, and he'll 'spread it across the void'. Or whatever it was that he said he did."

Silently humming to myself, I let his words sink in. So this Auric guy was obviously a really BIG number in this game but more important, I should be able to make these tokens myself.

Just, what should I choose? Auric had a coin and Wade his cube... Ah ha!

I took one of the small, ornamental pieces of metal I had fashioned into my capes hem and gently ripped it off. After a quick search I found a passably long string of leather in my pouch and laced it through the small hole in the blank talisman. I stood up, my token base in my left hand and for a moment I just listened into myself with closed eyes, searching for an idea to make my token. Suddenly, I felt Mana surge from my body into the small piece of iron, sparks dancing around my fist and with a surprising clarity, I opened my eyes and said

"To you, who hold this trinket. No matter if you wish to conquer or to protect. No matter if you wish to destroy or to create. I do not care if your Intents are black, white or any shade of gray, call my name and I will come. But be prepared for the judge of our actions will be Time alone.
I am Umbra, the Overlady.
The Mistress of Minions.
And this is my token."

Wow, what the hell? Where did that come from? That sounded pretty epic if I dare say so. Feeling the Manarush ebbing away, I opened my hand and examined my work. A small, drop shaped talisman with the outlines of my helmet etched into the surface rested in my palm. Carefully I handed my new made trinket to Wade.

After taking a deep breath to calm myself down, I stated "Well, that was something. Now my friend, let us discuss your payment."

"Well then, that was some extremely expensive information I just gave you," he gave a slight smile, "Considering overhead and the personal worth of that information to myself, I think...Well, I think that's going to require a payment of a certain token. And not any token. This token is one of the most expensive I can think of at the moment, It calls an individual of such power and beauty that the world shake when they simply reply.... Oh wait, you already gave it to me. Well I guess that's settled, wouldn't you say so?"

Un. Holy. HELL!

He made me blush. He made me. Fucking. Blush!

Never before I had been so happy to have a palette swap. The Overlady does not blush like a japanese School Girl that finally got noticed by Senpai!!!

"Why, you certainly know how to handle a lady, you charmer." I underlined the statement with my most refined chuckle. "But I insist, there must be something else that could be interesting for you."

"Well..." Wade trailed off, looking away "My current Dragon form is rather...lacking. If you know whom I'm talking about, then it's basically just a carbon copy of Spike. Baby version. It has good jaw strength, fire resistance...But it doesn't hold a candle to your friend." He turned back to me, cocking the most confident of smiles if I ever saw one. "If I could simply get a tiny bit of her aura, that would improve my dragon form all that much. If she was willing, of course."

"Hm, we can ask her but I can´t promise anything. She can be quite cranky, especially if she gets the impression that you want to steal her soul or the likes. She nearly incinerated me once because I made a joke." I said thoughtfully, slowly making my way to the door. "So, wanna risk it handsome?" I offered a smile of my own.

"Wouldn't hurt to ask her, would it? It isn't really like stealing a part of a soul. Everything one does leaves energy behind. Almost like imprinting a memory on a rock simply because you walked by it. I can absorb this excess energy by simply touching something. There is a chance of the energy overwriting the energy I previously had..." Okay, someone put this guy in a robe because that was almost a Qui Gon level explanation.

"Wow, that sounded pretty deep. I think that could work. Come one, Onyx should still be at the treasure chamber."

After that, I lead Wade up the flight of stairs towards the Towers top. As excepted, Onyx was indeed occupying the treasure chamber. The large dome like room with the slightly buzzing Tower Heart in the center was still mostly empty, a black Dragoness that was napping on a small pile of gold coins and gems not included.

"Hey Onyx, wakey wakey!" I coldheartedly put an end to her slumber.

"Hnngwhosdead?" Golden eyes met mine and a fist sized sapphire was chucked in my direction but landed harmlessly in front of me and Wade. "Not cool sis! I just had the most sick dream ever." Onyx half snarled, still visible drowsy.

"Yes yes, I´m a bitch, I get it. Just one quick question and you can go back to Sleepyland."

"If you let me sleep then, ask along."

So I did my best to explain Wades plan to Onyx as far as I had understood it. Halfway through, Onyx looked like she was about to toast us but nevertheless heard me out. After I finished, the Dragoness rose from her bedding and walked over to us, starring down at Wade with a slightly open maw and small specks of fire escaping between her teeth.

"Okay, so you twerp want to absorb some of my aural energy in order to make yourself stronger?" Onyx growled dangerously low "And that won´t damage my soul? At all? Because, if I ever find out it did, I gonna hunt you down and feed you your own bowels!"

"I shudder to think about how that might actually work. And you scare me enough to think you'd be able to follow through on such a promise. All I need to do is touch you and I suck off a bit of excess energy. Something that you've already used, which is outside of you, yet clings to you before dissipating you simply because it was once a part of you." Wade gave his best to explain himself to Onyx while pacifying her at the same time ""Would you feel better if Umbra stood poised with her mace to bash my brains in, should I attempt anything untoward?"

Onyx puffed out her chest in pride, seeing that she had brought her message through.

"Hmm, alright, do your thing. But remember, no funny business or you’re done before you can regret it." Onyx replied in an eerily casual tone and took Wades hand.

I swear, I heard some bones creak dangerously.

Nothing happened for a while, except Onyx crushing Wades hand while giving the poor fella a menacing smile.

Suddenly, Wade began to change again. This time, it looked like his whole body was about to melt like a candle near a blazing fireplace. He grew larger, cloth and skin turning black and condensing into scales as a pair of wings and a tail appeared on him. As the transformation finished, he gave a sharp laugh in Onyx own voice "Congratulations. Your energy was strong enough that it completely deleted my previous Dragon State. That isn't easy to do."

Wow, the second time, it was even more gross. But it worked. Now I had two Dragonesses standing in my treasure chamber and... oh fuck. Ma treasures!

Wade spoke. With Onyx voice. Damn, that was strange. If she was phased by it, my black dragoness hid it masterfully. Instead, she circled around her clone, giving her "sister" an once-over and faster than the eye could follow, slapped Wade on the ass with a resounding SLAP.

"Well, at least now you aren´t such a twig anymore." Onyx approved "Damn, I got some hot piece of ass, hn Umbra?"

That startled me out of any coherent thought. "Hrgljftsxtz?" I responded with the verbal eloquence of a mental handicapped slug, much to Onyx amusement.

"Well then, if we are done here, I gonna get back catching me some Z´s. See ya round twerp." And with that, Onyx plopped down on her treasure bed again and shortly after started snoring.

"Conks out awful fast, doesn’t she?" my human turned dragoness guest remarked.

"Hm, yes she does. Does not mean she´s a heavy sleeper though." I added my two cents of thought. "Soo, anything else you might could use?" I turned to my guest/new ally/new buddy. "Oh and how long do these calls keep one summoned? Is there a timer or something?"

"No specific timer that I can think of. One journey lasted three whole days, and another was less than a minute. Its random, and as far as I can figure, you won't get a warning when it happens. One second I'm there, the next I'm not. Bet I'd be an awesome hide and seeker. Well, more hide than seek, anyway." Wade trailed off. " Come to think of it, do you happen to have any...wads of magic or otherwise unstable magical items you'd like me to get off your hands? My Sword state might be able to absorb them and create more weapons..."

Magic I want to get rid of hn? Well, I had my Tower Heart but like hell I would part with that baby! And since I now had some smelters and tools of my own, I could have my Minions create weapons and armor for themselves. Maybe I could even create some nifty stuff for me. Some backup weapons maybe.

"Well, no, I don´t have any magical special refuse but thanks for the offer. Hey, say, wanna see something really cool while you’re still around?"

"Something cool? I swear if you drag me off to look at a cold themed item, I will glare at you disapprovingly, regardless of how cute you are." Wade grinned at me before his gaze shifted to the gemstone that Onyx tossed at us and he had picked up. I smirked as he licked his lips, probably without even noticing. Then he noticed me and tossed me the gem.

"Guess I got her appetite as well. Can't imagine what crushed minerals would do to the inside of my stomach once I turned back..." He ended on a short laugh.

"Well, should I have invited you to show you something wet then?" I replied with an ever so slight smile and a waggle of my brow, catching the sapphire. It was somehow really funny to watch how Wade had seemingly copied more than just my draconic friend’s appearance.

Chuckling, I pocketed the gem. "He, you should see her pop bits like they were peanuts. Would be probably really hard to stomach hn? Anyways, let’s go."

And down we went, down all the winding staircases right into the brood-pits underneath the Tower. Much to my satisfaction, I noticed that the big cavern now hosted the barrack like Hive of the Browns together with the Vulcan like Hive of the Reds in their respective corners. The spots for the green and blue Hives still vacant, I led Wade to my intended destination.

Norbert’s hut and the Soul River.

Sitting in front of his small hut, the old Blue was busy letting two Reds roast some rats on his scythe. Noticing me, the robe clad Minion croaked in his eerily resonating voice "Ahh, Milady. Do you see dead Minions?"

I swear, I would not be surprised if he would begin to talk in capitals.

"Well, that’s why I am here. And to introduce you to a new friend." I gestured to Wade-Dragon. "Norbert, this is Wade, he´s somewhat of a shapeshifter. Wade, this is Norbert. Norbert here is probably the oldest Blue you will ever find and he is also responsible for raising my Minions. But that is not the best part, hold onto your proverbial seat, he can raise the dead!" I turned to Norbert "Hey, we had a little skirmish and lost a few Minions earlier today. Could you please reanimate one?"

Slowly, the Minion Dead rose and waddled over to the wild stream of the Soul River. "As you wish." Norbert croaked as his eyes glowed briefly and with a flick of his wrist, a brown Minion with a dented Diamond Dog helmet on his head and a pickaxe in his hand rose from the river.

Another flick of Norbert’s wrist send the Brown onto the caverns floor and after the realization that he was alive again had finally settled in, the Minion gave his Resurrector a resounding smooch on the cheek before scampering away.

With a smug smile, I turned to Wade "Pretty rad hn?"

"Having trouble not thinking of the river Styx with this show... But yes. That was pretty damn badass.”

"I know right? The Blue Minions are by far my favorites. Although they are weak in combat, they can heal/resurrect fallen Minions, are the only ones able to swim, are practically immune to all but the most powerful forms of magic AND they can turn themselves invisible for a short amount of time." I gave a wistful sigh "I hope I find their Hive soon."

"Speaking of...aren't the blue guys aquatic? I could be wrong, while I may know of them. I'm not fully versed on their capabilities or otherwise. Besides 'drag over loot with mouse, watch them upgrade themselves' If you know what I'm saying." Wade finished with a wink.

"Hmm, given the fact that they do not drown in amusing ways and from everything Gnarl told me, yupp, they are. Or at least amphibious." I watched the glare contest between Wade and one of the Minions with half interest "And of course I do not have the slightest clue whatever you are talking about."

"Of course not, just ignore my rambling. You wouldn't mind if I tried to...create a water form from one of them, would you?"

Oh that sly son of a... !

"Why, of course not. I said I would reimburse you, didn´t I? Unfortunately the only Blue that is available at the moment is Norbert here, so I am afraid he had to do." I turned my attention to my robed Minion. "You would not mind to let Wade here acquire some of your aura?"

Propping himself on his scythe, Norbert’s gaze shifted from myself to my mighty morphin´ guest before a nearly unnoticeable smile flited over the old Minions lips and he nodded, beckoning Wade to do his thing.

Morphing back to his human form, Wade held his hand out for Norbert "Put er there, ol buddy ol friend ol paaaaaaaaaaaaal~"

I watched with a undeniable amusement as Norbert slowly, in best Dickens manner, rose his hand and silently pointed at Wade, never breaking eye contact with him. As the Minion Dead slowly approached Wade (without the usual pitter-patter of his webbed feet) I could not help myself. The very moment Wades hand came in contact with Norbert’s, I unleashed a Corruption Burst from my left palm right behind Wade. The brood cavern multiplied the sharp crack of my spell nicely into an authentic thunder clap and the flash of the magical lightning did the rest.

"NYAFLGAHF." Wade squawked in a hilarious way, doing some sort of three sixty pirouette.

Oh, that was... that was gold!

Pure, pure, gold!

My legs buckled and quitted their service to me as wave after wave of hysterical laughter wrecked my whole body. Tears flowed down my cheeks in small rivers, my sides stung like I had been tackled by two porcupines at the same time and my lungs screamed for oxygen because I was unable to take sufficiently deep breaths.

After laughing my ass off and rolling around on the floor for a while, I finally managed to get a grip again. "Oh wow, pfeeww... my everything hurts like hell but that was so worth it. Hey, no hard feeling hn?"

"Hard feelings, in my tailbone." Wade pried himself off the floor, rubbing his butt. "Honestly, I'm glad you only did that. There was much worse you could have done. Can I try to get a water form now? Or would you like to throw me off a cliff to see if my flight form is up to the task of flying back up?"

Dusting myself of and donning my most sincere sorry-face, I had to bite my tongue not to jump on that opportunity since Wadey-kins seemed a bit miffed. "Sorry, sorry *snrk*, got that out of my system now. Please proceed."

I watched Norbert starring at Wades hand like is was a particularly colorful and nice smelling flower. "Come on Norbi, don´t be like that. We had our share of fun, now be the bigger man and shake." I swear, sometimes these Minions behave like children.

With a small huff from his nose, the ancient Blue finally did as I asked him to. As soon as he did, his head lolled around and he began drooling like in some sort of trance.

"Right. She already saw me do this with the big dragon lady, You aren't fooling her, just so you know... Fine, since you want to continue with your theatrics... MWA ha ha. Ha, ha ha. I am...stealing your soul, yeah. Mwa ha ha. Seriously, you can stop that at any time." Wade stated, making an impromptu show out of this.

Giving a slow applause to Wades little show, I watched Norbert regain his senses and waddle of slightly agitated, mumbling something about that he had to check the newly hatched Minions or something into his beard... gills... whatever!

"Wow Wade. That sounded almost a tad evil there." I sauntered over to him, leaning in to breath in his ear "I like bad boys."

"Oh do you now? Sadly," Wade looked around the room in a dramatic fashion. "I don't seem to see any around here. Too bad, guess you'll simply have to put up with me..."

I could not help but grin at that.

"So...Do you wanna do something? You've show me around your home, and a cozy little place it is. Or do you just want to keep me around to compliment you on your radiant appearance?" Wade said with a smile, "I'd be more than willing to, just so you know. Besides that, have any board games? Anything to pass the time until you have something for me to do?"

"Well, such a shame. But you are a pretty good prize too." I all but purred while I could feel blood rush to my cheeks. "Careful what you offer, though. I might end up chaining you to a wall in my fungeon."

Holla the forest-fairy, were did all this come from all of a sudden? Sure, Wade was far from being a supermodel but he still was kind of handsome in a more down to earth way which I always liked better, plus most guys did never gave me as much as single once over and damn, I could not recall the last time I got some... Graaahhh what was I? Some cat in heat? Get a grip girl!

Fighting my treacherous bitch of a body with a good portion of self-restrained I returned his smile "That would be a pleasure. Minions are fine and dandy but they cannot compare to a being with real sapiens. And yes, crazy as it sounds, I really have a game of chess around. Care for a game?"

"Chess? As long as you don't call the pieces by the silly names the ponies have for them, I'm game." Wade gave a slight smile again. "I've been honing my skills against the little filly I mentioned earlier. She's a real killer. Cheeky little kid. Keeps on maneuvering me into pincers. Real poker face on her too...” He seemed to trail off a bit. “Well, we aren't going to get this game going just standing here, are we?" Wade asked, a Cheshire grin stamped on his face.

"Silly names? Lemme guess, they probably call the Rooks Guards and the Queen Princess? And don´t worry, I won´t demolish you. Too much." I chatted with a hint of curiosity while leading Wade back to the lounge in the residence level of my Tower. Once there, I was positively surprised that my Minions obviously had put some extra efforts in finishing these part of my home first.

Guiding my future victim over to a pair of chairs(how the ever-loving hell a pair of black leather chairs came to be if the Tower Heart could only use raw materials in the close proximity I would never understand), a small stone table upon which rested an chessboard, equally made of stone and two miniature armies depicting Minions with various head dresses to distinguish them. Well, except for the King, who was sculpted as an Overlord. Making myself comfortable in one of the chairs, I gestured to Wade "Guest has the first move."

Wade took his time marveling at the pieces "They call the bishops 'scribes', and the knights 'guards'. Even more stupidly," He picked up his first pawn, two spaces from the left and moved him two spaces forward. "The queens are called 'royal knights', and the kings are predictably 'princesses'. Guess we can’t fault them for taking the game and changing the names to better fit their own view of the world."

“Seriously? Ah well, each his slash her own cup of tea right?"

I decided to put pressure in my moves from the beginning to probe my adversaries defense. It´s surprising how many players would succumb to such a rather bold tactic, trying to retaliate and effectively offed themselves in the end. So I started with purposely sending one of my pieces into his kill-zone, waiting if he would take the bait.

Much to my positive surprise, Wade was not such a player. He expertly sacked my piece without endangering his own and in turn beat one of my bishops (honestly, seeing that Minion with a Popes hat and staff made me snort internally) with his castle.

"Giving the first real kill? How generous of you. I might take offense though, if you give me any more pieces. No one wants a reward to be given to them, truth is," Wade licked his lips as he looked me in the eyes. "They like the chase. They like to earn the reward, so that it will taste...that...much...sweeter~." He crooned, watching as I misplaced a pawn as a result so the sudden change in his tone. Well Mister, that´s a game for two.

Keeping eye contact with Wade, I leaned forward a bit and growled out two words. "Chains. Fungeon."

It worked. With a startled grunt Wade misplaced the bishop by a whole two squares, placing it right next to a pawn for an easy kill. With a wolfish grin, I sacked both of his bishops and three more of Wades pawns over the next few turns.

Resisting the urge to 'Mwahahahahaaa!' like your stereotypical cut-out villain because my subtle-as-a-sledgehammer-to-the-face-plan to ruin his concentration was a huge success, I decimated the poor guys pieces like sadistic eleven years old armed with a magnifying glass a colony of ants.

Just as I was about to prepare my kill of his Queen, he suddenly stammered something that threw me off balance.

"Wreck it Ralph references?"

My brow arched a bit in confusion. "Ehrm, nooo? Like in BD..."

Suddenly, my bitch of a brain decided that now was the best moment to ruin my day as my overactive imagination kicked in.

Images of the whole film cast flooded my mind. All decked out in all kinds of Leather, Latex and every imaginable kind of accessories.

Okay, I must admit Calhoun could totally do the Domniatrix thing, ay mama.

Wait, Ralph bending over? What was Vanellope going to so with Sour Bill?!?

King Candy in a...!!!

Oh God, abort! ABORT!!!

WHY?

WHYY~HYHHYHYHYYYY?!?!

"You're not going to beat me, are you Miss Overlady?" Wade suddenly drawled out.

After most parts of my brain had thankfully shut down in order to prevent long lasting traumatic damage without turning me in a vegetable, he went and pulled such a dirty trick, I am pretty sure somewhere in the Geneva Convention was a sole paragraph dedicated against it.

He went and morphed. Seeing it already two times seemed to have me immunized against the sheer yuck!-ness of the process. I watched with the same bizarre fascination like people would watch a train wreck as Wades hair began to grow and take a two toned appearance of grayish mulberry and grayish rose. White fur began to cover his shrinking body as well as his voice began to sound higher and higher with an occasional crack.

This... this was plain and simple... UNFAIR!

He transformed into a perfect Sweetie Belle! Even with the puppy dog eyes and the slightly wobbling lip!

"That would make me ever so sad, it would indeed..." Copy Belle pleaded.

I froze midmotion, my hand hovering over the board lost every connection to my brain, placing my own King I-don´t-know-where and I uttered the only word befitting of this situation.

"C-cute."

I was so absorbed in the weapon grade cuteness in front of me that I barely noticed as Copy Belle propped herself/himself on the table edge, little horn aglow with a light green aura and moved a single Pawn in place, effectively capturing my King.

"Habuh?"

I starred at the cute, little fuzzball with that adorable squeaky voice and these big pools of light green for eyes. Every fiber in my body demanded me to cuddle the everloving daylight out of him... her... Copy Belle!

"I got'cher queen, now king me!" the little Unicorn of the Disaster Crew otherwise known as the Cutie Mark Crusader demanded with the cutest of head motions.

Oh fuck me, incoming fangirl squeal and unstoppable pounce in...

Three....

Two...

One…

The very moment my internal pounce-down was about to reach zero, Wade popped out of existence.

Author's Notes:

Phfew, giant chapter is giant. Maybe I break it down into two parts later.
My theoretical exams are over and I can do something else than cram sessions all day long. Feels good to be at it again.

This and the next chapter are going to be a crossover with Applegate from Flutters is Shy. You´ll find it here. http://www.fimfiction.net/story/217979/applegate
Flutters is such a treat to work with, go give it a try.

Den of Clan Pyrite conquered. This mine is the home of a Clan of Diamond Dogs and a steady source of precious gems and to a lesser degree ore that will come in handy for producing armor and weapons for yourself and the Minions.

Minion Horde Capacity: 35

Domination: +
Destruction: