A very wise man once said “A good adventure always must consist of two things: looting and leveling.”

Okay, it was the moderator of a TV show and the sentence was more like “A good adventure GAME must always consist of two things: looting and leveling.” But I´m pretty sure this could be applied to real live too. Although I´m not really sure about the leveling thing.

At the moment, I was occupied with looting anyways, which means I was rooting through the now ownerless saddle bags and the occasional rucksack from the late Professor Flask and his goons. Until now I had produced a compass (I wondered which Dungeon it belongs to), several pouches containing bits (shiny), lots of hastily scribbled Notes and what looked like a shopping list for a Butchers shop (without a doubt from Crystal Flask, that wannabe Neighdolf Bittler), which mildly surprised me that I was able to read them, a set for weapons care, matchsticks, blankets, canteens and flatware for camping. All of these things I had neatly laid out for further analysis of their usefulness.

Which effectively meant that I had emptied out every container into the dirt and threw most of the stuff behind me after giving it a quick once-over.

“Hey, what are you looking for anyways?” Onyx asked from somewhere to my left. Shortly after our introduction I had started to root through the ownerless luggage and my new dragon friend had watched me. For roughly ten minutes give or take. “So, hey, mind if I ask you something?” the Dragoness finally asked me while seemingly disinterested inspecting the talons of her right claw.

Throwing another miscellaneous piece of equipment behind me, I gave a shrug. Might as well. “Shoot.”

“Okay, what´s your place called and how did you end up here?”

Pausing my rummaging shortly, I decided feed Onyx a story I used a long while back in a Pen and Paper session. “Well, that depends on who you ask. Our plane of existence is known by myriads of names, most sentient species in the Multiverse have at least one name for it. Hell, the Abyss, the Grand Beyond, the undying Underworld or That-really-creepy-place-where-your-soul-goes-if-you-had-been-an-utter-asshole-in-life are some of my personal favorites. But we commonly just call it ‘home’. As for the how I got here,” I paused to give the obligatory shrug and sigh “my best guess is that some wannabe warlock messed up a summoning spell, sending me here instead wherever that little wankwipe is now. Good thing though, cause if the spell would have worked out I would probably be busy beating the everlasting shit out of him right now.” My scaly companion gave me an irritated look. “Today is a free day back home. I don´t do extra work on free days.” I explained.

Yup. That sounded worlds better than the ‘I´m a simple nerdette, from a place called Earth, who works as a warehouse clerk. I decided to dress up fancy for a convention, suddenly the stage turned into a freaking Stargate, sending me to the fictional land of talking, technicolor mini-horses and coincidently I somehow have been transformed from a simple Homo Sapiens to an powerful, half-demon-dark-entity-whatever an Overlord or in my case, an Overlady, really is. With a magic mace!’ version.

Onyx hmm-ed in acknowledgement “Makes sense I guess… erh, wait, what’s a Multiverse?”

I could not help myself but to smile. “The Multiverse is the state every plane of existence is connected in. Imagine an onion. It has many, many layers. Those layers are each its own universe, some nearly identical in everything but a sometimes really small difference while others differ vastly. Now add other onions all around the first and then add even more. This is the most basic image you can get of the Multiverse.”

Rubbing her head with a strained groan, the black she-dragon mumbled “I think I just sprained my brain just trying to imagine such a shitload of onions.”

I could not help but chuckle slightly at the sight of a black Dragoness with an imagination induced brain-sprain. “Something else you want to know to satiate your thirst for knowledge or can we jump straight to the point where I take your immortal soul as a snack?” I quipped but somehow this pun managed to backfire. Greatly.

Nearly instantly, Onyx had cleared a good five meters between us with a single flap of her wings and had took what I suspected was some form of draconic fighting stance, with her wings flared wide, her tail wiping back and forth and her maw slightly open, small specks of flame escaping between her razor sharp teeth.

“Wow, relax girl!” I nearly yelled, memories of what dragonfire was able to do to a body still fresh in my mind. “That was a joke!”

The visibly agitated dragoness took one menacing step towards my still sitting form, blowing a small gout of fire from her nostrils. “A joke?” she inquired with a low growl that reverberated in my bones.

“Yes! It is common knowledge that demons can´t take souls without making a proper contract with their victims and as far as I know, we never signed in blood on a goat’s skin under a new moon at midnight on a graveyard with an uneven number of graves.” I gave my best to defuse the situation.

For a small eternity, we just stared at each other, Onyx´ golden eyes boring into my yellowish whisp’s.

Finally, after I lost roughly five kilos due to acute sweating, Onyx folded her wings and again took a seat next to me. “That was a shitty joke Umbra. Don´t do that again or I might toast you for real.” She huffed, ever so slightly pissed.

“Gee, you mortals and your souls. It´s not like you´re using them anyways.” I said, throwing my hands up in the universal gesture of defeat. This earned me a Dragon Punch against my shoulder, which send me sprawled into the dirt. Sweet mother Mary in hot pants, that girl got some mean punching power!

“Wow, you´re pretty much a lightweight hn? I didn’t even punched you that hard.” Onyx snickered as she watched me getting up again.

“Har di har har.” I grumbled but not because I was mad, just for the effect while dusting me off. Afterwards I went over to my loot pile, reached down and picked up a bag of bits. “Catch!” I threw the pouch over to Onyx who nimbly picked it out of the air.

“Huh? Gold coins?” she asked after opening the small bag.

“Yup,” I said “take it as a peace offering. Unless, in this dimension dragons don´t like gold and all that stuff.” I added with an inner smile, knowing that she would like them.

Onyx gave me a really toothy smile in return before popping one of the shimmering coins into her maw like it was a peanut. After a quick chew she stuffed her face with a whole claw full of bits, humming contently before swallowing. “Nah, gold is cool. Not as tasty as gems but it’s a nice snack. Thanks.”

“Soo, that means dragons here eat gems and valuable metals? Interesting choice. I´d hate to be your dentist.” I said, continuing to search my loot for the object of my desire. From the corner of my eye I could see Onyx puffing her chest out with pride.

“Ha! Dragon teeth are the toughest stuff you will find here. There is nothing a dragon can´t chew through, given enough time. My mom used to tell me stories about how my dad chewed through a hugeass clump of Mitrhil just to impress her when he was still courting her. Also we can eat other stuff too but nothing is as filling as a good serving of gemstones.” A smile tucked at her maws corners “Hmm, I could really use a nice diamond right now…”

“HA!” I suddenly jelled out, having finally found the object of my desire. I raised my hand high up, a plain package firmly in my armored grasp.

Onyx ruffled her wings slightly at my sudden outburst. “Well, grats… And what exactly is that?” she asked, leaning closer and taking a whiff.

Ripping the package open I feasted my eyes on its content. Several biscuits and (oh joy!) at least a dozen stripes of jerky! Ignoring the food labeled armor plates; I picked up a piece of dried meat and gorged it down without much ceremony. A happy sigh escaped my lips, followed by another piece of delightful, meaty goodness. “Trekking rations.” I explained finally after a third piece of jerky. “I haven´t eaten since I arrived here yesterday. Lucky me those guys had something to fit my taste hn? After all, they won´t need it anymore right?”

For a while, we just sat there, Onyx munching through her bits and I, stuffing myself on the ration that had without a doubt once belonged to one of the griffin mercs.

“Hey, wanna try some?” I offered Onyx a stripe of jerky.

“Nah, I pass.” was her response between chewing.

“Uh, uh, can I has it master?” asked a brown Minion to my right.

“Sure thing buddy.” I handed the dried meat to the little kobold, who in turn devoured it greedily.

(Insert noise of breaking glass and screeching brakes here)

“WHAT THE BLUEBERRY FUCK?!?”

I jumped to my feet faster than Speedy Gonzales could have squeaked his famous “Arr~rriba”, startling Onyx in the process, causing her to jump up too and while I reflexively kicked out, sending the Minion flying with a joyful sounding “Wheeee~”.

The brown kobold sailed through the air with a dement smile, visibly enjoying the sensation of being airborne. After a good five meters however, gravity decided to be a killjoy and brought the delighted gibbering Minion back down to earth with a decent THUD.

Right in front of a small group consisting of seven applauding and more or less manically laughing brown Minions.

Well, more like, one stone-old Minion with an eerie similarity to a hairy walnut with ears was clapping and the six others were laughing.

“Ahh, magnificent Milord. Your reflexes are well developed and your first reaction was to swear and use violence. Truly, you have good potential as our new Overlord.” the hairy walnut croaked in a revering manner.

I blinked in disbelief as Gnarl, THE Gnarl, waddled over to me, this weird little stone-lantern-thingy he was always wearing swaying over his head. The minion master/adviser/usurper to be and his younger brethren came to a halt in front of me.

“Hmmm.” Gnarl gave me an once-over and nodded approvingly “Yes, yes, I must admit that I am positively surprised. You are not only already in possession of an impressive magic weapon but also you wear armor most befitting of a dark Ruler. Your magical skills seem to be rudimentary developed at the moment but sometimes one has to make baby steps, right? When we regained consciousness yesterday in an unknown cave, far away from the dark Tower and the Netherworld, I had to admit that we were a little bit worried.” The ears of the Minions dropped in synch and a hint of sadness stole itself in Gnarls voice. Then he patted one particular Minion jovially “But luckily, Rufus here always had a good nose. The dark Fates were smiling on us when he caught a whiff of ‘the Scent’, the specific odor of unadulterated evil that only an Overlord emanates.”

>>Wat.<<

The retiree Minion continued “After digging ourselves free, we travelled non-stop to find you Milord, eager for all the dark and glorious larks you will lead us to. Never had we dreamed of this nice, little spectacle you gave us when we finally found you. I admit, I had my suspicions at first, when that overgrown chicken nailed you down but after you annihilated this pesky griffin with your Corruption spell and killed the other one with its own sword, devilishly poetic by the way to kill a warrior with the own sword, I was sure. The dark Fates had bestowed upon us a new Overlord.” A wide smile showcased the few teeth still left in Gnarls mouth “The fact that you stomped that Unicorn to death was the real cherry on top. Absolutely overrated crocks!” The last part caused gibbering laughter among the Minions. After silencing the Minions with a few choice words and a few whacks with his gnarly (hehe) walking stick, Gnarl opened his spindly arms as wide as his old bones allowed him to in a dramatic gesture, his gaze resting at my person and declared “Rejoice Minions! For we are now reunited with our Overlord. Now this world shall feel the ironclad fist of evil and…”

“What in the name of the Everflame are those things? Friends of yours?” Onyx asked, peeking over my shoulder suddenly, interrupting Gnarls pompous little speech.

This however caused Gnarl to jump (respect old boy) back a good meter, into the safety of his younger kin while the younger Minions rushed forward, little wooden clubs raised high, spouting incomprehensible battle cries.

They rushed right past me and some literally jumped onto Onyx. The Minions began to whack her with their little weapons, pull her tail in some delusional attempt to bring her down and some even clung to her legs like kids would do with their parents. Onyx for her part held back with extreme bravura, only swatting at the occasional Minion, seemingly completely ignoring the attempts of the little kobolds to bludgeon her with their clubs and wearing a facial expression that spoke more of general annoyance then everything else.

I simply stood there and stared. At least until I felt something tug at my cape. I looked down and meet Gnarls wrinkly visage.

“Ehrm, Milord, not to äh, question your ways but why is that dragon free of its bonds? When we began our decent to meet you, it was definitively safely bound. Did you not know that Dragons are nothing more than oversized flamethrowers, guided by a brain just the size of a Thornberry? Quick, we need to get you away from it. I´m afraid your loyal Minions can only do so much right now. Hurry Milord.” The minion master rambled, attempting to pull me away from the one-sided brawl.

“Nyee, clubs not working! Why clubs not working?” one Minion yelled.

“Scratch! Bite! Pinch!” another chimed in, noticeable glee coloring its voice.

“Help pull the tail!” a chorus of Minions demanded.

Finally one of the countless zero-but-annoying attacks seemed to hit a sensitive spot of the dragoness. Onyx let out an angry, guttural roar that caused every Minion and me to cover our ears. “All right you little pests, that’s it! No one ever touched me there! You´re toast!” she yelled and inhaled, ready to unleash an inferno upon the Minions.

My Minions!

All while Gnarl continued to pull and tug at my cape, going on and on about how he had to get me out of here so I could beginning to build a dark dominion.

Absolutely everything was about to go downhill on a greased track, in a car without brakes or a steering wheel and a crate of nitroglycerin on the backseat.

“Verdammte Axt, STOP!” I yelled, not nearly on the same volume like Onyx roar moments earlier but still.

The effect was instant.

The Minions ceased all attacks, staring at me with wide eyes and splayed ears.

Onyx snapped her maw shut, followed by an audible swallowing sound and little smoke trails coming from her nostrils.

I took a step forward, raising my finger in a way that allowed no objection. “No one’s getting toasted here, no matter where they touched you. Got that Onyx?” I rumbled, glaring at the dragoness.

A red sheen appeared on Onyx face despite her dark scales. “But… but they…” she began to stammer but I cut her short.

“No buts here! And you!” I transferred my attention to the Minions “Stop this bullshit immediately or I gonna punch you munchkins into last month!” Sternness colored my every word.

With great satisfaction I witnessed the Minions to not only let go of my draconic friend, some even tried to gain brownie points by dusting of and polishing the scales on Onyx tail with nervous smiles plastered all over their faces.

With a huff, she pulled the appendance away, her face still flushed for whatever reason. I made yet another mental note to find out the reason. Accidently incineration due to touching of no-no zones was nothing I was eager to experience in the nearer future.

“Äh, Milord, maybe…”

Ah yes, there he was again. Gnarl, my loyal adviser to be. I turned around on my heel sharply, closed the distance between a visibly startled Gnarl and myself with two quick steps and postured myself in a way that I loomed exactly over the elderly Minion without breaking eye contact. I felt immense satisfaction as Gnarl nervously fumbled around with his own cape as he shriveled under my gaze like an ice cube in the oven.

After letting him stew in silence for a few moments, I calmly stated “Milady.”

Gnarls gave me a dumbfounded look that was worth at least a million bucks.

With a nearly sadistic smile, thankfully hidden by my new facial features, I reveled in his confusion.

“Beg… beg pardon?” Gnarl croaked finally.

“It’s ‘Milady’. Are yo dissin´ my muffins dog?” I asked him with my best ghetto gurl accent, cupping the chest section of my armor for emphasis.

Slowly, creaking, the gears in Gnarls head seemed to work, processing the data he just received. His eyes rushed over my body, taking in the slimmer waistline, the sleeker armor around my arms and legs and most importantly, the two unmistakable bumps in my chest plate. His mouth worked wordless for a while until he simply uttered “What?”

“Also, I think instead of Overlord, it should be Overlady hm?” I continued, taking a thoughtful pose with a hand on my hip and playing with a stray lock with the other. Normally I despise such girlish gestures but the situation was sooo screaming for it.

“What… but… Overlord… a woman… what…” Gnarl rambled while swaying slightly. Apparently somehow this poor fellow’s whole view of the world had been shattered. And afterwards the shards had been pulverized and scattered in all four winds. Wonder what could have done that.

Another Minion, the one Gnarl had called Rufus, approached his elder and waved a hand comically in front of Gnarls face, obviously confused by his empty gaze. Afterwards he peered deep into one of Gnarls eyes. “Hellooo~hooo? Somebody home?” he yelled into the unresponsive minion masters ear. After getting no response at all, he turned around to me and gave me a shrug. “Think the Master broke Gnarl.” he stated nonchalantly.

Onyx stepped up to my side, a rosy tinge still coloring her cheeks as she mustered the catatonic senior Minion. “Hey Umbra what was that little oddball babbling about? He almost sounded like he knew you or something.” she asked before facing me. “Are these guys from your home too?”

I nearly bit my tongue to prevent from accidently spilling some insider knowledge. ‘Yeah, sure. Those guys are Minions. They are one kind of four species, brown, red, green and blue who serve the Overlord, who is in essence the Ruler over the Netherworld and Master of all Darkness. Oh hey, did I mention that that´s little, old me? Oh and the best part? That’s all just from a video game!’

Instead of saying just that I pressed a “Nope. No idea. Never seen something like them.” through gritted teeth.

It was just at this moment that Gnarl choose to wake up from his personal little coma. He took a few deep breaths and pinched the bridge of his nose, then looked at me. “Okay Gnarl, you can do this, you worked with worse. Remember that troglodyte? So this Overlord is a woman. A fickle, moody, sniveling woman but you can do this, you can still salvage this situation.” He half muttered under his breath.

I cleared my throat to let the little dosser know that I could fully hear him. At this point I seriously considered shoving the Beast up his wrinkly ass. Without lube!

Wringing his hands, Gnarl putt on an apologetic smile “Ah, please forgive me, I don´t mean to offend you Milo- erh Milady. This is all just a bit sudden. I mean, over the time I had the pleasure to meet some prime examples of womenkind. All of them could have made fine dark Rulers, if that position not already had been occupied by that time, I am sure. After all, Evil always finds a way yes?” A collective groan rose from the other Minions that Gnarl ignored masterfully “As I was saying,” the old Minion performed a surprisingly deep bow in front of me “I am Gnarl, minion master and loyal adviser for the Overlord or in Milady’s case, for the Overlady and these,” he gestured towards the other Minions “are your Minions. The one you see in front of you are known as the Browns, the warriors amongst us Minions. Although small in stature, they are absolutely loyal to you. They will tirelessly work for you, fearlessly fight for you and should the need arise, willingly die for you. For you are the Overlady, our rightful liege. Command us, oh dark Mistress and we will follow you through the gates of Heaven itself. Lead us and we shall build a dark dominion in this land that will be like none other before.” Gnarl rose up and as one the Minions raised their weapons towards the sky, chanting “Master! Master! Master!”

I could not help but to shed a tear. As wicked as this little pledge may have been, not matter how foreboding, it had touched me somewhere, deep inside my heart.

Onyx gave a whistle. “Not bad Umbra. You got yourself a dedicated little army there. Well, as much as seven skinny kobolds and one hairy walnut with ears could count as an army.”

“Hey!”

I softly punched her against her shoulder and chuckled at the pout on Gnarls weathered face. “Come on, give them time. I´m sure we can multiply them somehow.”

“And how? I doubt they can regrow heads like a Hydra, so slicing them apart is pretty much a no go then.” Onyx mused, flexing her claws slowly to showcase her gleaming talons.

“Heh, dunno, maybe feeding them after midnight and then splashing some water on em?” I offered.

“With what kind of creature would that work?”

“Gremlins.”

The sound of an old throat being cleared caught Onyx and my attention. Gnarl stood with the rest of my Minions, for some reason now looking a bit taller, like he was feeling in his element now.

“As much as I enjoy Milady’s and her pet’s wild theories, I think I could humbly provide some knowledge here.” Gnarl began “All that we need to summon more Minions is simple life force.”

I felt the corners of my mouth curl upwards. Looks like it´s tutorial time.

Onyx raised a brow at that. “Life force?” Luckily she seemed to have not heard the pet part.

With a sigh, Gnarl continued “Yes you scaly lug, life force. Now stop interrupting me. Where was I? Ah yes. Life force. The universal energy that exists in every living creature as well as in some extraordinary furtive plants. As the raw essence of existence, it can be used by a knowledgeable individual such as an Overlor… Overlady to summon Minions. All we need for that is a sufficient amount of life force of the right color, or souls, as some ignorant scholars like to call it and a ley line that runs close enough to the surface to create a Minion portal.”

That piqued my interest. “Wait a second. Ley line, as in those magic blood vessel thingies that run through the whole planet?” I asked.

Rolling his eyes, Gnarl nodded. “Yes Milady, let´s go with ‘magical blood vessel thingies’ for now. I see your knowledge of magic is really as rudimentary as it seemed but let us leave the finer details for later. I think we could use this as your Ladyships first lesson in the fine art of being a dark Ruler.” He turned towards the other Minions and barked “Hey you lazy bones! Make yourself useful and search the area. There should be still some life force around from the fight earlier. Get going and retrieve it!” The Minions scattered like a flock of chickens at the sight of a fox. Gnarl then faced me again. “Well, while your Minions are searching for the life force from your slain victims, we should try and locate a suitable ley line. If my old bones don´t to lie to me, there should be one nearby.” With that, the old fart waddled of only to stop and to give me an impatient look over his shoulder. “Follow me Milady, it´s not the time to dawdle.”

And off he was.

I stood there, feeling a little bit miffed. The kindergarten worker tone was absolutely not necessary!

“Well, for such an old fart, he sure waddles quick.” Onyx commented “Think we should follow him?”

“Hn? Oh yeah, let’s do that. Can´t have something eat him and get food poisoning right?”

Chuckling, we went after Gnarl and soon found him behind a small boulder.

“Ah Milady. Good timing, I just found the ley line.” Gnarl exclaimed satisfied, ramming his walking stick into the dirt.

“Okay? Now how do I do this?” I asked confused.

Facepalming with an audible ‘smack’, Gnarl pointed at the ground. “Well, looks like I have to guide you through this by the hand yes? Concentrate Milady, watch where my sticks tip is buried in the ground. It´s right above the ley line. A rather small one I admit but for our purpose it should be more than sufficient. Can you feel the ambient magic of raw life force Milady? Can you see it?”

I stared at the red-ish dirt intensely to a point I felt incredible silly. Nothing happened. All I could see was…

Dirt.

Some pebbles.

Oh hey, a small lizard! Aww poo, Gnarl ate it.

But no ley line.

What was a ley line supposed to look like anyways?

“Are you sure there is a ley line here Gnarl? Because, I can´t see a damn thing except for dirt, dirt and… wait a sec!”

A glimmer caught my eye.

There! Exactly where Gnarl had jabbed his walking aid into the ground shimmered something. I concentrated again, narrowing my eyes ever so slightly while I fixated the glimmering spot like a hawk would do with a mouse.

At first the glimmering spot was just that, a spot, maybe the size of a grape. But suddenly, it grew.

It grew so fast that I yelped in surprise and made a step back. With unbridled fascination I watched as the small glimmer grew in length, wide and intensity. I watched as the little ley spot grew until it had reached the proportions of a small river, maybe half a meter wide that stretched left and right to the horizon. Small branches left the main line every now and then just like real blood vessels in a body would.

“Very good Milady. You can see it now, can you?” I heard Gnarls voice. There was a hint of pride in it. I looked up and gasped again.

“Well, I take that as a yes.” A bleached out, roughly Gnarl shaped cloud of yellow-brownish energy said smugly.

“Wow, hey Umbra? Everything all right? You look kinda spaced out.” a big, Onyx shaped cloud of dark red energy asked me.

“Ähem, guys? Why is all I can see colored clouds roughly in your shape?” I asked, a tad nervous.

“This, Milady,” the Gnarl cloud said “is the very life force that animates us. I presume in my stead you see a brown cloud and the dragon appears as a red one?”

“Ey! My name´s Onyx you walking wrinkle!” Onyx cloud snapped agitated.

“Well, you look more yellow-brownish Gnarl but yes.”

“Odd.” the Gnarl cloud mumbled before speaking more clearly. “All right, now here is the tricky part Milady. To create a Minion portal from the ley line, you must reach into it, for the lack of better words. But not with our hands, with your mind. Sheer willpower is the only thing that can forge the essence of live into every wanted form. Imagine reaching out with an invisible hand now.” Gnarl instructed me.

I did as he said, focusing my mind solely on the brightly glowing stream of pure power in front of me. Several moments went by and nothing happened.

“I think I do something wrong. Nothing happens.” I complained.

“Try again Milady. Imagine scooping up water with a hand.” Gnarl cloud said, his vapory arms imitating the movement.

Again I concentrated. Slowly I began to feel like Luke at Dagobah, just without a funny talking, green midget as my teacher.

I imagined a spectral version of my hands reaching out for the ley line; I pictured it before my inner eye, playing the whole process out like a video tape, reach in and scoop up. Again and again.

Slowly, my spectral hands reached the ley line.

Only millimeters separated them.

>>Come on. Come on!<<

With an un-audible sound, much like a faint gong in a vacuum, they bounced off.

“Grah, sonofa!” I grumbled and redoubled my efforts. Only to bounce off again.

Every failure caused me to seethe more and more. I was so close I could literally feel the energy running under my fingertips. Yet I was unable to reach it.

It was so aggravating! Like one of those stupid puzzles where you achieve nothing if you are too forceful and to focused on the most obvious way and… hey!

Filled with a sudden calmness, I mentally reached out again. My whole being reacted almost like remote controlled.

My spectral hands touched the ley line again. And sunk into it.

The feeling that washed over me was just. Wow. It was like seeing the sun for the very first time after a long and grey winter. I felt warmth flood every fiber of my body, energy soaking me from head to toe. I could feel thousands of heartbeats simultaneously, hear thoughts thought lifetimes ago and yet preserved in the very essence of life itself.

It was mesmerizing, peaceful even. I felt like, for the lack of better words, high as fuck! Never again I would leave this comforting little sub-space, I would stay here forever and ever and ever and…

“YOUCH!”

Sharp pain ripped me out of my trip down ley lane and brought me back into reality. Gnarl and Onyx, no longer clouds due to funky ley-o-vision, looked at me, Gnarl wearing a slightly worried expression.

Rubbing my right arm I discovered a swollen, huge (okay, a small) imprint just where my skin was not covered by armor plates. A suspiciously talon like imprint. “Did you… pinch me?” I asked flabbergasted.

“My apologies again Milady but we had to bring you back into your body. Your mind was nearly absorbed into the ley stream.” Gnarl explained while Onyx tried to look demonstratively innocent. “The only way I could came up with was pain, so I had Onyx here pinch you.”

Still grumbling, Gnarls words slowly reached me. “Wait, what? My mind was about to be… absorbed?”

Gnarl nodded. “Yes, indeed. I must admit, I absolutely underestimated the ley stream here. This world must have much stronger ambivalent magic then I was used to. It is not unheard of that carefree individual become to absorbed when interacting with the ley for the first time, subsequently getting their very mind and soul absorbed into it, leaving only the empty husk of their former bodies behind.”

With a quick movement, I closed up to my loyal adviser and grasped him by the collar of his cloak, lifting him up to eye level. “You knew that this could happen? And you still let me do this? I should shatter every bone in your miserable body for this!” I yelled at the writhing minion, a fist already rising.

“I a-admit that th-this may seems tempting r-right now Milady b-but look. D-despite all hi-hindrances, you did it.” Gnarl stammered and pointed behind me.

Still holding that little fucker by his scruff I turned around and was greeted by a Minion portal. A real one, completely with yellow energy wafting out of it. I was so perplex that I didn´t even notice that I let go of Gnarl.

“And just in time it seems.” Gnarl directed my attention away from the portal and towards the collective mass of my Minions. All seven were standing in front of me, holding several things in their clawed hand, joyfully gibbering “Treasure!”, “Fallen soul.” and “For the Master.” The five foremost Minions were holding four yellow orbs and one blue orb of shimmering light, similar to the stuff coming out of the Minion portal. The other two were carrying my mace and helmet I had left behind at the pond and a big bag that obviously held all my loot respectively. As one, the Minions let go of the orbs which whirled around me for a moment only to be absorbed into my Gauntlet of Dominance.

“Ah, wonderful. You just absorbed four brown souls and one blue soul Milady. This should suffice for our needs.” Gnarl exclaimed joyfully, causing Onyx to give me a weary look. “Now, try to summon four brown Minions from the portal Milady. Since they are the kind with the closest connection to the dark Ruler, you should be able to call them even without a prober citadel. Go on, try it. It should be safe.”

Ignoring Gnarls helpful rant, I carefully approached the portal. Soon I felt the energy flowing from it but this time, it was different. It was… tamer, not nearly as radiant as before. More like a pleasant dip in an inflatable pool than a nosedive into the very soul of the universe.

A bit hesitant a raised my left hand, shortly wondering if I should utter some kind of command but the moment my hand reached its highest point, an unmistakable horn blared and with a ‘schlpp’, three brown Minions jumped out of the portal. The newcomers looked around confused until they found me. Three sets of eyes stared at me and suddenly, I felt a wave of nausea wash over me that send me stumbling.

Thankfully, Onyx was quick to offer me a shoulder to prop myself against. “Hey demonette. You all right?” she asked concerned.

“Just a bit dizzy, thanks sister.” I replied a bit shaky. “Hey, why are there only three new Minions?”

Walking up to me, Gnarl snapped his finger as in realization. “Well Milady, it seems that, without a prober tower and a functioning tower heart to channel your dark energy, the limit of Minions you can actively control is only ten. Myself not included.”

“Wha? Actively control?”

“Yes, you see Milady, even a dark Ruler can only control a limited amount of Minions at once, at least actively. On a sub-conscious level all Minions are linked and somewhat guided by your dark Magnificence in their actions but a Minions mind is a chaotic mess at best. To dominate and guide them actively can strain even the mightiest of Overlords. Normally the tower heart, the centerpiece of your dark dominion would help a great deal with that but seeing as you have none at the moment.”

Feeling better, I let go of Onyx shoulder and massaged my temple. “So, I take I should get a dark citadel or tower or whatever rather quickly then?”

Gnarl nodded in approval “Yes, this should be our top priority.”

“But does anyone of you by chance have a ‘tower heart’ at the ready? I never heard of such a thing before.” Onyx added her piece.

Damn, she-dragon had a point.

To my big surprise, Gnarl smiled. “This should be no problem. We only need to find a nexus, a point where strong ley lines connect and I should be able to remedy our dilemma. At least I hope so.”

“And pray tell, where should we find such a nexus thing?” I asked skeptically.

The wizened Minion tapped his walking stick at the ground for a moment, seemingly in deep thought. “To my knowledge and experience, a nexus normally forms at two locations. Deep inside the earth, near the core of the world or high up in a mighty mountain.”

“In a mountain?”

“Yes. Paradox, isn´t it?”

“Such a nexus, what would it look like anyway? For me, I mean?” I asked curiously.

Gnarl took a moment but finally said “Sadly, Milady, I knew very little about that. Just once, a former Overlord shared his insight about the nexi with me. As far as I recall, he described it as an incredible huge flare, majestic and terrific at the same time. Similar to a lighthouse on a high cliff amidst the wild sea or something. Why do you ask?”

With a victorious smile, I pointed to a long mountain range that stretched along the horizon seemingly endlessly.

Gnarl followed my finger, squeezing his eyes until he found it. “Elvendreck!” I heard him mutter.

Somehow, this made it only better. Like eating warm cookies fresh from the tray.

“What? What is there? What do you see?” Onyx asked confused at Gnarls and my behavior.

Gritting his teeth, Gnarl grumbled “It seems the Overlady has successfully detected a nexus inside that mountain range over there.” He turned to me “How did you detect this Milady? It’s barely the size of a pinprick from here.”

I gave a shrug while taking my helmet and my mace from the Minion who collected it for me. “To be honest? At first I did not. But then I had this feeling. Like something was tugging at my mind, pointing me in the right direction until I saw it.”

“Well, wasn’t that a lucky coincidence?” my adviser grumbled while the other Minions seemed content with snickering at his obvious misfortune.

“Sarcasm gives you wrinkles Gnarl.” I teased.

“Like I care!” he grumped loudly.

Onyx startetd to chuckle loudly.

“But have you any idea how long it would take to go to that mountains? I´m nearly two thousand years old Milady, I´m not made for marathons and mountain climbing!” Gnarl protested loudly.

“Well, one day by flight, probably three by walking.” Onyx suddenly said. “I know these mountains, they are called the Macintosh Hills. Lots of good caves but only few gemstone pockets.”

My smile grew wider.

“Well, isn’t that a nice coincidence?” I exclaimed, clapping my hand together “Looks like our path is clear then. As my first action as Overlady, I hereby order that we will go to these Macintosh Hills, find the nexus and built me an extremely epic citadel of darkness there. Afterwards we can all have free juice and cookies.”

My ten Minions cheered at my orders, either too stupid to understand that a long way of walking was ahead of us or simply not caring, Gnarl made a face as if I had just banned deep fried blubber nuggets from existence and Onyx just chortled.

Pointing the Beast at the distant mountains, I exclaimed “Excelsior!”

And so began a long and sometimes really brutal march towards our destination. After overcoming his sourpuss-ness (and after I talked Onyx into carrying him because I could no longer stand his whining), Gnarl used the following days to bestow some of his seemingly endless wisdom about how to be a proper Overlord upon me. From how to intimidate simple minded villagers over the basics of magic (obviously mostly about my Corruption spell since that was the only magic feat I could do at the moment), basic Minion control 101 to the fact that once we had a dark citadel up and running, I seemingly was obliged to find me some voluptuous woman as eye candy to decorate my throne room with. If they would feed him with grapes, even better. At my question why it had to be woman and not some hunky guys for example, Gnarl only snorted and declared that it was a sacred tradition for a Overlord to fill his palace with beautiful female slave-servants and just because I happened to be the first Overlady, we could not simply change a tradition born from the time when the first Overlord ever set out to rule the world with an ironclad fist.

My suggestion that he might even enjoy getting feed grapes by hunky, oiled guys only clad in a loincloth, Gnarl quickly fobbed off by suspiciously conveniently falling asleep due to his old age.

Umbra One, Gnarl Zero.

[A good two and a half days of walking later]

“We there yet?”

“Hungry.”

“Thirsty!”

“Feet hurt!”

I ignored the complaints from my loyal Minions and concentrated on the ley lines which permeated the ground in front of me. Since we had reached the mountains half a day ago, the magical lines were growing stronger as we were climbing. Gnarl had expressed the belief that we were already close to the nexus and I was willing to belief him.

Finally, we found the entrance to a big cave and I did not even have to switch to my ley sight to know we had found the nexus. Under my helmet, my hair began to stand up from the sheer power, the Minions suddenly seemed to brim with barley contained energy and even Onyx scales seemed to bristle.

Gnarl came to my side, a serious look on his face. “Milady, follow me.”

I nodded, we left Onyx and the Minions at the caves entrance and began our journey into the darkness. The little stone lantern of Gnarl only illuminated very little of our path.

After following my old guide for a while, we reached our destination. The air was dense with nearly graspable power as Gnarl turned towards me.

“Milady, please kneel.” he more ordered than asked me in a ceremonial tone and I complied. He took the small light stone from its string and showed it to me. “This, Milady, is the last known splinter of the arch-heart, the legendary very first tower heart ever in possession of the very first Overlord. Legend goes that it was a brought up from the deepest depths of the earth by the first Minions that ever served an Overlord. It is a sacred relic to all of Minion kind, passed down from minion master to minion master and kept safe during the generations. No matter how often so called Hero’s succeeded to slay the current Overlord, no matter how long the dark dominion laid in ruins, this splinter has always prevailed and with him, so did we.”

Reverently he held the fist-sized chunk of glowing stone towards me. It was then that I first noticed the small, nearly undetectable pulse coming from the splinter. It was almost, no, it was a heartbeat.

Ancient.

Adamant.

“What should I do Gnarl? You never told me about this before.” I rasped nervously.

“Touch the splinter Milady.” the old Minion said, almost softly. “Touch it and open your mind. Imagine your dark fortress, your throne, every corridor, every battlement. Let your essence flow into the stone. Use it to harness the power of the nexus and meld the very stone of this mountain into the form your heart desires.”

Hesitantly I did as Gnarl said and closed my eyes.

I felt the pulse of the arch-heart even through my gloves.

“Do it!” ordered Gnarls voice.

And I did.

Power flowed into me, filled my very being and my world went white.

Author's Notes:

Its alive! Pfeew.^^°

Okay, there was not much action, mostly I used it to explain background mechanics and stuff. Don´t worry, there will be Minion, Overlady and of course Ponee themed shenanigans soon.

Massive thanks to Pizzaro for kicking my butt to finish this chapter. I just had the worst case of writing block since long but that fellow made me break it. Give some applause please.^^

Dark Tower aquired. The very center of every dark Rulers domain.

Minion Horde Capacity: 10

Domination:
Destruction: