"Okay everypony, dinner is served," Pandora announced as she trotted in, balancing a number of platters in her magic. She set them down on the small table and immediately, a delectable aroma filled the room. A simple white apron hugged her body snuggly, mysteriously adding only to her allure. Stupid ponies being sexy in clothing!

"Ooh, what are we having? Smells good," I said, taking in the heavenly smell. Even Jackie looked in interest at the assorted foodstuffs, her nose twitching like mad and for a moment forgot her silent battle of wills with Trixie.

True, we may not have won our money, but Moustachio and Pandora had been so impressed with us that they insisted they treat us to a nice, warm meal in their home. After the show wrapped up, they led us to a wagon, not unlike Trixie's in the show, only three times as large and wouldn't you know it, the thing was so much bigger on the inside! I mean, hell, it was pretty much a cozy apartment with all the amenities.

"Well, over here we have a lovely vegetable lasagna, I got the recipe from dear old donkey jenny way back from when I was younger and still traveling with my parents," Pandora explained smiling, her seductive stage demeanor completely replaced by a nonetheless seductive housewife. Fuck, I don't think she even had to work at it. Just came naturally, it seemed. Kinda made me wonder if could take a page or two from her book. That way I'd be able to turn things around with Zi'. "This here is a dish from Griffonstone, something you need to have a beak to pronounce it right I think but in essence, it is cooked meat in a coat of cabbage."

That earned her a surprised gasp from me and a raised eyebrow from little Jackie as we stared at the off green rolls swimming in a delicious smelling, dark sauce.

"Of course, I had to replace the meat with a substitute but I found that a little something called tofu from Neighpon works just as well, if correctly seasoned." Pandora explained, a bit of mirth in her voice at our reactions. "For dessert, we have this lovely little sin from Prance. It is called Crème d´ Amande, essentially a light, fluffy crème made from almonds with a hint of caramel sauce as a topping."

"Wow. You guys have been all over, haven't you?" I asked.

"We do get around," Pandora said smoothly as she took a seat beside Moustachio and used her magic to manipulate the serving utensils, doling out a healthy portion of food for Jackie and I before serving her brood and herself. "It's not all a vacation and traveling so much can wear on you, but it's all been worth it."

"I'll say," I said after sampling the lasagna. "What you guys did out there was amazing. I've literally never seen anything like it."

"You're too kind," Pandora said sweetly. "We're trying to pass this on to Trixie as well, you see."

"Is that so?" I looked to the showpony, who was mid-chew and froze as the topic changed to her.

"Aye, but there is only so much Trixie can learn while she is with us," Moustachio said, his portion of lasagna pretty much half the dish itself. "That is why we insisted she go and travel by herself, so that she may see and discover new things and that she may learn what it is to be a true showpony."

By this point, Trixie's coat color was steadily receding, her pupils shrunk to pinpricks and the food in her fork lazily trailed down into the table.

"Oh rea~aally," I said with a barely restrained evil grin. "And how did that go?"

But before either Moustachio or Pandora could respond, Trixie broke out of her stupor. "M-mother, father!" She nearly jumped over the little table. "Must we have this discussion again? And even in front of Sorba?"

Well, whatever that weird word just meant, it seemed to set of Moustachio like a rocket. "Beatrix Horizon Lulamoon! Watch your tongue in front of our guests! You are dishonoring yourself and your family when you resort to such foul words!" The mountain of a pony boomed, causing his miserable progeny to shrink back into her cushion. After that, he turned to Jackie and Me, an apologetic expression on his face. "I wish to apologize for my daughters poor choice of words."

"Hmm, what exactly did she just called us?"

"This... word means a lot of things in the tongue of the Roani but none of them are to be spoken in polite company. Basically, it is a derogatory term for all Non-Roani." Pandora told us, shooting her daughter dearest a look that could have pierced the heavens with ease. "Beatrix, apologize!"

"Someone's a sore loser," Jackie muttered, almost too low to hear, focusing on her meal, not paying much attention to the little drama unfolding before her.

Looking like she just had been condemned to swallow her body weight in slug slime, Trixie or rather Beatrix, visibly fought with her demons Pride and Prejudice before gulping audibly, her ears folded back and she dipped her head ever so slightly before she mumbled half-assed, "Trixie apologizes..."

Well, that seemed like the best I would get so I graciously accepted, but not without adding Trixie´s name to my personal shit list. I just knew the perfect little opportunity to "by chance" run into her again. Time to massively mess with the show´s timeline!

"Well, back to our topic, I take it that your daughter did not like that idea too much, hm?" I asked between two forks of lasagna. "I know the feeling, the pet of the family vehemently fighting against leaving the nest. Well, good thing your trailer does not have a basement so Trixie won´t end up as a basement dweller," I idly said, my words doing a piss poor job in hiding the knives in them and Trixie grew so red I'm surprised steam didn't come out of her ears.

"Trixie will have you know that she is not afraid to leave on her own, she merely has not found the opportunity to do so yet. She will need her own trailer, furniture and the likes. All those things take time to gather, not to mention that it is an important part of a Roani´s life to leave the fold, something that is not to be rushed!" Missus powder blue and bitchy said haughtily, nose high in the air.

"Trixie, honey," Pandora said delicately, though there was an undercurrent of sharpness in her words. "You could have done that anytime you wished. You've been traveling with your father and I for the last year, actively partaking in our show now and every show you get your portion of the earnings. Perhaps if you managed to save your money instead of going off every other day getting hooficures, on spa days or shopping trips..."

"T-that's... I need to do that mother! You said a showpony must keep a clean, trimmed and appropriate appearance. That's the reason I go out and..." Man, it was both amusing and a little sad to see her try so desperately to come up with that bull. But amusing, mostly.

"I dunno," Jackie said to my surprise, cutting in. "Seems like your mom and pops do pretty good without getting involved in all that shopping nonsense. Are you sure you're not just sloppy with your money?"

Trixie looked ready to explode. "Q-quiet, you. A pint size of a pony such as yourself should know better than to speak that way to your elders."

"You remember what she did to that mammoth weight, don't you?" I offered my thoughts while putting my plate aside to allow Pandora to serve dessert. My totally subtle threat seemed to have fallen on fertile ground as Trixie shut her snout rapidly, opting to shoot seething glares towards my person and Jackie for the remainder of the quite nice dinner.

"You know, dear," Pandora said as she served a generous amount. "Perhaps it would do you good to tweak your act a bit. I mean, I know we've talked about this before, but are you sure you don't want to change your wardrobe? You do have such a good figure and that stuffy cape does you no favors. Perhaps something that can help accentuate your flank and your hind legs? I think you would look lovely in something with a long slit half the way up to your Cutie Mark, just the right amount of sex appeal without looking cheap. Maybe something in burgundy velvet?"

Oh, that was just too good! I had to clamp my jaws shut in order not to spray half-chewed food all over my hosts and the table. Trixie herself was doing as spot-on impersonation of a fire hydrant, spluttering incomprehensive babble and flailing her front hooves.

Heh, can you spell 'Tsundere'?

"For the last time mother, no! I will not change my wardrobe. If I am to be successful it will be because of my talent, not parading myself in front of the drooling masses!" The hotheaded pony declared indignantly.

Pandora sighed, probably expecting things to go this way. "Very well, Trixie. It's your choice. I do have to try, though," she muttered the last part under her breath as she finished serving dessert. Deciding it was in her best interest to change the topic, she then said, "So Umbra. Tell me, are you and Pretty Prancer from Yule or just visiting?"

Weighing my options, I decided to troll Trixie just a little bit more. "We're from Ponyville, actually," and no sooner did I say it that Trixie went pale as a ghost. "And you know, it just so happens that Trixie paid a visit way back. Put on a show and everything." I refrained from smirking evilly.

"Really now?" Moustachio asked, his salt and pepper moustache holding on to random specks of the cream. "And how did our dearest Trixie perform?"

By this point, Trixie shook her head desperately, eyes wide, almost watery and pleading.

"Well, it sure was a good show but the aftermath was what really will be remembered for generations to come, that you can bet on." I smirked, showcasing my teeth in a predatory way. "I mean, the way she humiliated the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony on stage, only to have to run with her tail between her legs as everything came crashing down on her head in the form of an Ursa Minor and she could not live up to her own tales... well. Luckily, Twilight Sparkle was able to save what the rampaging monster left of the town."

"I'm sorry... what?" Pandora asked, at a loss of words for the first time. Trixie's visage bordered on murderous at this point and Jackie watched with interest and no small amount of satisfaction. To both her and Trixie's dismay they'd both found themselves sitting next to each other at the table and throughout had been shooting each other hidden and not so hidden snooty looks and pointed glares.

"Yeah, wouldn't you know it..." I proceeded to give them a very thorough briefing on the events that happened that day, watching as their faces processed different emotions ranging from anger, disappointment, doubt and grudging acceptance. Jackie just seemed to find the whole thing amusing and by this point, Trixie had receded into herself, trying to look as small as possible.

"I can't believe it. I simply can't." Pandora said, elbows on the table and supporting her head with both hooves. Moustachio stood as still like a granite statue. "Trixie, is this true?"

The mare in question gave a small 'Eep' and a nod, the motion so miniscule that one could think she was afraid that it could shatter the very fabric of time and space. She didn't not even dare to as much as glance into her father's direction.
She licked her lips nervously. "D-daddy, I..."

"No, Trixie. We'll have words later." Moustachio said with a tone of finality and Trixie deflated like a balloon.

"In all fairness, I think what Trixie did was brave." Amusing as it was to watch the events of Boast Busters come back to bite her, I did feel just a tad bit bad. "I mean, yeah, she screwed up more than a little, but come on, she actually held her ground and tried to fight off an angry Ursa. And yes, she failed spectacularly, but how many ponies could say they would do the same in that situation?"

"You... have a point." Moustachio admitted, staring thoughtfully at his progeny.

"Besides, it's all in the past. It may surprise you to hear this, but things like that happen in Ponyville like every other week. I betcha by now everyone's forgotten all about it."

This served to somewhat mollify our hosts and we were able to move from this line of talking and on to more pleasant topics. Of course, having already finished our meal, Trixie and Jackie soon grew restless. Trixie, probably because she was ticked off at me spilling what happened and still seemed a little meek where her parents were concerned. Jackie... well, she didn't seem to want to be dragged into conversation and merely did her best to stop looking utterly bored, though as time passed, it became increasingly clear she grew more and more fidgety and so I decided it for the best that we pay our goodbyes.

"Must you be leaving so soon?" Pandora asked.

"Unfortunately," I said as I donned my hat. "It's getting late and I gotta get this little one back home," I gestured to my ponified friend, rubbing her noggin and received a halfhearted slap on my hoof.

"Since you said you are just visiting, are you staying in a hotel around here?" Pandora asked while starting to do the dishes.

I was about to say yes but a certain pint-sized pony was faster.

"Well, we would but a certain someone managed to get pick pocketed while dragging my ass from food stand to food stand, throwing gold left and right," Jackie snarked, shooting me a pointed look while she fidgeted to get herself back into her own clothes.

My face heated up as I felt my tongue tie itself into a knot. Damn brat!

"Hmm, so the two of you are completely out of money, yes?" Moustachio asked, raising an eyebrow. Behind him, I spied Trixie snickering behind her hoof but only after she made sure neither her mom or her dad would notice. Just you wait, lady!

"Yes..." I admitted, hanging my head in shame.

"Well then, this won´t do at all. We cannot in good coincidence have two brave mares without any money to rent a room for the night." Mister Beefcake said, more to himself while rubbing his chin with a hoof. Then he turned his head into his wife's direction. "Pandora, my dearest flower, would you kindly?"

"Of course, my handsome husband," the mare in question replied sweetly, her horn once again lit with her magic.
From somewhere, a sizable bag floated right in front of me and from it, I could hear the unmistakable clinking of gold. "Wha~" is pretty much all I could utter.

"Take it. It's yours," Pandora said kindly. Trixie looked like she so wanted to protest. Her cheeks swelled like balloons and her face steadily grew redder and that vein of doom was back again, pulsing full force. Thankfully, she knew better than to raise up a stink, considering how deep in the red she already was with her parents.

"But... why?" I blurted out.

"Why not? Our little contest ended in a tie, true, but the two of you proved yourselves on that stage. You, specifically, my dear. Tell me, was that your first time performing in front of an audience?" I nodded. "Then you are a very brave pony indeed. Not many have what it takes to get onstage to be judged by the masses. Consider it a gift. You and your friend have more than earned it."

Gawd, why am I getting so choked up? Almost, imperceptibly, my eyes stung and my breath hitched as I stared at Pandora's kind face. "This..." I swallowed. "This is more than I expected. I-it means a lot to me. Thank you," I said almost shyly and reached out slowly with a trembling hoof to take the little bag... only for it to be swiped right before my eyes!
"What the..." Following the little bag of stolen moolah, my eyes landed on Jacqueline, holding my stolen prize to her chest and looking at me in defiance. "The hell do you think you're doing, brat?!" I couldn't help but exclaim.

"Keeping it safe. You can't be trusted with money, so I'll be holding on to it," she said bluntly.

Moustachio exploded in booming guffaws while Pandora fell into a unmistakable noblewoman laugh and even Trixie began cackling in a way that made one think of brooms, flying monkeys and pointy, black hats.

Stewing in my own embarrassment, I glared at Jackie, who returned my death rays in absolute nonchalance. Thankfully, the amusement did not last long(except Trixie´s) and so we bid our goodbyes, finally departing the mobile homestead.

A short trot later and the two of us stood in front of a hotel Trixie´s parents recommended to us. It was a huge building with the promising name 'The Royal Sisters' Haven'.

I whistled in appreciation. Pretty ritzy hotel they got here. Again, I couldn't help but shake my head in wonder at how such an isolated city in these inhospitable conditions could be so advanced. From what I gathered from Pandora and Moustachio, Yule had been built in Equestria's northeastern tip, just a few miles from the sea that separated the land from its sister continent. Thing about Yule, seeing how it was so freaking cold, the waters more to the north had remained frozen for the last tens of thousands of years or so and it was by this bridge of ice that the ponies were able to install rail lines that traversed the continent all the way to Griffonstone, which lay to the east of Equestria. This meant that a majority of the trade between the grifs and the pon-pons made its way across Yule and that gave rise to a big, rich, multicultural city, even if it lay in the middle of a frozen wasteland.

At this point, I didn't really care and only thanked the stars that we'd be able to escape the cold. Already nightfall, even the protective dome that encircled the city was not enough to keep the cold from biting through my layers and Jackie's teeth were long since rattling like maracas.

Bursting through the front doors, we were greeted to a most spectacular sight. Floors of polished marbled echoed our footsteps, of so fine a quality that we could see our own reflections in them. Rich, wooden furniture dotted the lobby. None of those mass produced, commercially available sofas and chairs you see so often and give you a bad back, no siree. Everything here had the markings of being... uh, handcrafted for lack of a better word. Rugs and tapestries depicted several images. Some featuring moonbutt and sunbutt, others the city of Yule from a bird's eye view. Others had scenic mountain scapes or ponies who were probably important for some reason or another. Case in point there was one word to describe it all: swag.

Approaching the teller, we booked a room, cost us only four hundred bits, and a very helpful bellboy or whatever he was showed us to our quarters for the night. The inside of the rooms were no less spectacular. Hell, it put my awesome chambers in the tower to shame. There was a fountain. A freaking fountain right in the middle of the room, for chrissakes!
I bounded inside like a Tiny Tim ready to tear into a Christmas ham. There was a kitchen. Not like a pissy little kitchenette, but a full kitchen. The pantries were stocked with all sorts of goods. Nothing too perishable, but it was impressive nonetheless. Pasta, rice, dried hay, beans, meals in a can and the snacks... by the gods, the snacks! Pretty much anything you could want was in there. Chocolates, cookies, crackers and pastries and some things that looked a little more foreign like pickled mangoes, crystallized pineapples and dates.

"Odin's swag, this is incredible! Don't you think so, Jackie?" Girl didn't respond and she wasn't beside me either. Where...
I trotted back to the entrance and was surprised to see she'd only barely made it past the doorway. She examined her surroundings with a strange look. I couldn't pinpoint it, really. I don't think she even registered I was there either and me, I couldn't make sense of it. I opened my mouth, about to call to her when she took some hesitant steps forward.

"Gawd, I feel like I'm gonna break something." she muttered, warily eyeing an ornate crystal vase full to the brim with flowers.

"Well come on, girl, let's go see our digs." I called out cheerfully, startling her. Whatever funk she was in, she managed to shake it off and followed suit. The bed, to my delight, was as big as the one in my tower. Good thing too, since I tend to toss and turn a lot and... man! I swear they put my already sweet bed to shame. I jumped in immediately, squealing in delight like a little kiddie. Not sooner as my hooves made contact with the coverlet, I began to sink into it almost to my... ankle... things... Where they called ankles for a horse too or was there another specialized word? I had to ask Lyra about that later.

"Hooo boy, this is su~weet! It´s almost like a cloud!" I grinned my biggest, dumbest grin before an impulse began to make itself known. It started out as a weak call in the back of my mind that soon intensified as it traveled to my legs and before I knew it, I was already bouncing up and down on the unbelievable soft bed. "Jackie, girl, you have to try this, it´s great!"
I heard some halfhearted shuffling and when I looked over, the girl had already dropped her pony 'guise and now stood on her human form.

"Come on, live a little." I said playfully and hurled one of the pillows at her. She didn't bother dodging, or doing much of anything, really.

"So... there's a problem here." she said.

I barely suppressed a groan and like her, reverted to my humanoid form. "Alright, what is it?"

"Morons," she muttered. "We paid for two beds didn´t we?"

"And?"

"There's only one."

It took me a moment but eventually I chuckled, causing Jackie´s face to sour even more. "No, they got it right. We booked a room for two, did we not? See, ponies are incredibly social creatures from what I could glean from my loyal horsy lackey and this here, my dearest Jackie, is in fact a two pony bed. Sleeping in the same bed, snuggling and whatnot is considered a social norm for two ponies, more so when they apparently are traveling together like we do." I patted the coverlet, smirking cattish "Why? Is something the matter? Afraid to get cooties from widdle old me? Come on, we can share. I promise I'll sleep with all my clothes on. Can't promise I won't cuddle, though."

She groaned almost imperceptively and turned. "I'll just... I dunno. Take the sofa or whatever." She promptly started to walk out and I couldn't help but feel more than a little annoyed. Darkness, why is this girl so... stubborn? Well, that lasted only for a heartbeat as an idea suddenly popped into my head. Jumping up off the bed, I dashed forward and grabbed ahold of Jackie, easily hoisting her over my shoulder, much to her surprise.

Acting quickly I doubled back and threw her on the bed, joining her quickly enough with a shit eating grin.

"What is wrong with you?!" Jackie nearly screeched, her face beet red for some reason or another.

Reaching for one of the big, plush pillows, I slightly closed my eyes as I locked on my target. "A lot of things but none of them are relevant to this situation."

That, she seemed to register because a look of alarm, disbelief and indignation bloomed on her face. "Oh no, you are not... don´t even think about..."

POMF!

The pillow made contact with Jackie´s face in a oh-so-satisfying way, the sweet sound of fluffy fluffness colliding with a sourpuss never ceasing to bring joy to my little, black heart.

"Pillow fight!" I declared, cackling like a madwoman and gathering all pillows I could get my mitts on as ammo.

"You... pffht... you can´t be serious?" The baffled girl asked me, trying to get a stray feather out of her mouth.

"Nope, I´m fucking Severus!" was my only reply. Well, that and another volley of pillows that hit Jackie straight in the face again. Wow, even drunken golems could dodge better than her.

"What is wrong with you?" Red-faced Jacqueline demanded to know as she removed the latest projectiles from her face. "You are a grown woman or at least you are supposed to be one! S-stop acting like a child for crying out loud."

Instead of answering to that, I puffed up my cheeks in mock-indignation but only for a moment before I used the faux feeling of security I so dastardly lulled my victim in to deliver the mother of all pillow blows with my last projectile. Then, I pounced, bowling little Miss Grumpy Pants over in the process, eliciting a very cute squeak of surprise from Jackie. Heh, that had to be the most feminine and childlike tone I had heard from her since we knew each other.

"What the bloody fuck?!" The squirt hissed, her cheeks burning so red hot, they were probably on the verge of turning white, flailing her arms around like a epileptic squid.

"Baby Jesus on a pogo stick, you seriously need to lighten up and live a fucking lot, girl." I playfully replied from my position on top of her, my smile nearly splitting my face before I reached down and tussled the almost rats nest Jackie called her hair.

Seeing the little Tsundere struggle and squeak in protest, a truly devious idea spawned in my noggin. Following that deliciously evil inspiration, I leaned down, puckering my lips much to Jackie´s growing horror if her widening eyes where anything to go by and the warbled attempts at speech leaving her mouth. Closing in the last few centimeters I could really feel the heat radiating from Jackie´s cheeks before I planted a playful kiss on her forehead.

Pulling back my face, I stuck out my tongue at the flabbergasted girl. "Thought I was gonna smooch ya, hn?" I asked her, basking in the look of sheer WTF on Jacqueline's face.

An awkward silence permeated the room and despite my broad grin, I just knew then and there I majorly screwed up. Jackie'e eyes were wide, her pupils shrunk and where not a moment ago she'd been sputtering with anger and indignation, now her features remained unnervingly blank. I laid there, still holding on to her arms and for the first time, was at a loss what to do. Anger, bashfulness, indignation... those I could work with but her utter stillness caught me unprepared.

Well, that didn't last long. Jackie's features flared, her eyes burned and her teeth bared in a snarl. Faster than I could react, she yanked free and with a gut wrenching cry, slugged me right in the kisser with the mother of all haymakers. My world exploded with pain as the sheer force behind that pale, bony fist of hers sent me flying backwards and well into the air. Even as I hit the floor I still skidded backwards until a hard cabinet stopped my trajectory and a lump quickly swelled on my noggin. Of course, I barely had time to register this, much less the sound of feet pattering away, past a door and the sound of a lock.

I considered going in after her, but that would probably just make things worse. Nice, Umbra. Real nice. You have an opportunity to make a friend and you manage to go and cock it all up.

Oh, baby. I had to admit, when the squirt paid four hundred bits for a room, I'd already been planning her funeral procession, but I had to admit, it had all been worth it. Yeah, you'd think shelling out that much gold for a couple of nights would be akin to extortion, but the baths alone made the whole experience worthwhile.

Usually, when you pay that much cash for a room, you'd think you'd get the penthouse or something. Well, seeing how Yule was situated in the middle of a frozen wasteland, higher altitudes like, say, a penthouse suite, meant more energy had to go to keep the room warm. Luckily, the hotel had been built right on top of a natural reservoir of hot springs.

They did the job in keeping the lower levels toasty and warm even on the most frigid of days, and if that wasn't enough, it just so happened that the room Jackie got for us came with its own feed of those hot springs.

It was a circular room, connected to one of the bathrooms with a similarly spherical pool of hot, steaming water. Marbled tiles, polished to perfection, engraved with floral designs dotted the floor and surrounding the small pool were pillars that resembled that of ancient Greece. Further adding to the atmosphere was a sweet scent, probably potpourri, that wafted through the humid air and the warmth of the spring water filled the chamber with a constant, hazy mist.

About an hour passed since that little episode with Jackie. Against my best wishes, I backed off and instead of making a bigger idiot of myself, I decided to give her some space and hopefully, she'll come back on her own.

So now I returned to the hot springs, naked save for a towel carelessly tossed around my shoulders. Dipping in a toe, the temperature passed inspection and with a nod, I just started to slide in when a very unexpected voice called out.
"Good God, woman, cover yourself."

My head snapped up and sure enough, there she was. Jackie sat on the opposite side of the little pool, in as naked a state as me but with a towel still wrapped around her chest to protect her modesty. Kinda cute.

"W-what are you doing here?" I asked, half stumbling while hastily moving to cover up the goods. She turned her head back to me now, cheeks slightly flushed. Whether this was due to seeing me in all my bare glory or the heat and steam of the room was unclear.

"Bathing." was the sole reply.

I couldn't help but fidget awkwardly. Not that long ago she resembled a cornered little rabbit and now, her grey eyes met mine with a stony look. She still appeared somewhat guarded

Deciding it would make no difference if I stayed out of the inviting water seeing as I already had one leg up to my knee in or not, I gave a sheepish smile, nodding towards the water. "Uhm, mind if I...?"

"Knock yourself out." Came the reply, Jackie now not really looking at me but rather studying something in the water.

With a silent sigh of acceptance, I carefully climbed in the pool and boy, it was bliss! The temperature was just perfect and inside the tub, there where even little bench thingies to sit on. I idly rubbed my lips where Jackie's fist struck. That hurt and bled like a mother for a couple of minutes but thankfully, that enhanced Overlord healing kicked in and though my lips were still a bit swollen and numb, the pain was all but gone.

"It's nice, isn't it?" She asked, her tone suggesting she didn't particularly care about the answer. "I told you I went to a spa in Ponyville, right? Had a hot tub and everything, but this is way better."

"A spa?"

She nodded. "I went in disguised as a pony and somehow, Twilight Sparkle and her other unicorn friend rope me into going with them. Fuckin' random ponies..."

I couldn't help but chuckle. "Yeah, they can be. So how was it?"

She shot me a droll look. "Didn't we go over this already? Neanderthal. Split me. Cock."

"Wait, what?"

A rueful grin stretched across her face. "Yeah, I didn't tell you much about the 'verse you pulled me out of, did I? Well, get this." She then proceeded to tell me how our two universes differed. Hot damn if it wasn't hard to believe. I mean, a race of stupid, animal-like humans playing the part of pets to cuddly little ponies? Yikes! Planet of the Ponies, much?
"So then the little bitch wants to try and help me relax and how does she go about it? She leases one of the spa's humans to go and show me a good time right then and there. Never even told me about it."

"Wow."

"Right? So, as you can imagine, I didn't take it all that well."

"You didn't, uh..." I hesitated.

"What?"

"Kill anyone?"

"Unfortunately no," she replied with a wry smile. I tentatively took this as a good sign. "I threw some things at Rarity. Scored a few hits too, maybe wrecked the place up a bit, destroyed a fair number of spa products... well, could have been worse," she trailed off and looked at the ceiling.

We stayed silent for a bit, though it didn't seem to bother her, and while I too was tempted to just lay back and relax, I simply had to ask. "Hey. Uh, we're okay, right?"

"Hm?" She grunted and eyed me with a half-lidded gaze.

"Back there, in the room, I... I didn't mean to..."

"It's fine. Forget it," she said flippantly.

Oh, that was quick. "So you're not mad at me?"

"Nope," she said, still not looking at me. "I... kinda overreacted, I'll admit. I'd rather just forget it did happen at all."

I... guess that's fine? "Right, sorry," I said awkwardly. "I just kinda thought that—well, I don't know but I just assumed that probably, maybe, you were," At this point I was literally wringing my hands together, not sure how to delicately touch this. "I dunno. That maybe someone tried to force himself on you," I ended with a weak chuckle.

Her reaction was curious to say the least. She straightened up and looked at me with wide, baffled eyes. Heck, her towel very nearly slid off before catching it and securing it across her torso. Uhh, and now I feel like a perv... just couldn't help but give a quick glance at her puppies. Not bad. Anyway...

"No! God no, that's not it at all. What gave you that idea?"

"Weeell, because you kinda reacted like a rape victim?" Not sooner as I finished this very sentence my eyes went wide and I clamped my jaws shut. Could I have phrased this any more bluntly?

To my surprise, she actually chuckled. Hell, I'd daresay it could almost be a giggle. "Yeah, I kinda did," she said sheepishly, rubbing the back of her neck. "It's stupid, really."

Well, she didn't seem to hold a grudge or anything. That's good, right? Seeing how this was the case, I slowly edged closer to her, becoming a bit more bold when she didn't shy away. "So why did you?"

"Like I said, it's stupid."

"Well, it's just the two of us here. I promise I won't tell," I said with a smile and did that zipper thing with the lips.

She regarded me curiously, like an entomologist who'd come across a particularly strange breed of tree. "Promise?"

"Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye," I said playfully, along with the necessary motions. She looked at me like I was mental. Well, only for a moment and she was not that far off but anyways.

She expelled a breath like a balloon. "If you must know... Christ, I can't believe I'm saying this," she muttered, rubbing her forehead. "You kinda caught me off guard?"

"Huh?"

"You..." She paused, possibly looking for the right words. "Look, I'm not a girly type of girl."

"I've noticed." Neither was I for that matter.

"I don't do all that huggy, kissy thing you pulled off. And when you went and pulled an awful, cliched moment from a crappy Japanese anime, I just really didn't expect it, 'kay? I'm... I'm not used to that, is all."

I couldn't help but bark out a brief laugh, relieved I didn't screw up nearly as much as I thought I did."Well, no d´uh but a fair warning ahead. If you are to hang with me for a longer period of time, you will have to get used to my random shit. Oh, and pop culture references. A whole fucking lot of pop culture references."

A small smile graced her face. "I guess it's too much to ask I meet a normal person for a change, eh?"

"Sorry girl," I said with a wink. "What you see is all you get."

Yep, another little chuckle from her. Well, not exactly the way I imagined I'd get her to ease up a little, but whatever works.

"But we're okay though, right?"

"Yeah, we're okay."

"In that case, you wouldn't mind if I took this off?" And before she could respond, I whipped off my towel carelessly throwing it over my shoulder, landing on the floor with a wet splat but I did not care. We paid royally so I could full well behave like a snooty Kardashian or Hilton or some other rich brat I would stab, shoot, run over with my car and then loot their corpses of anything of value, in that exact same order. Seeing how I was sitting more or less straight and being considerably taller than the brat, this left my chest very much exposed and Jackie quickly darted her head away with a small groan.

"Must you really do that?"

"Hey, don't go all prude on me. You should try it too. You can really feel the water without that stuffy towel in the way."

"Yeah... no," she said flatly after pretending to think it over.

I shrugged. "Suit yourself," I said and leaned back, relaxing on the edge of the bath, shooting her my best, cocky, daring smirk, returning her half scowl with a shit-eating grin. Come on, girl. Come on over to the dark side, we have fucking cookies!

Jackie's eye twitched, her gaze never straying from my own. Whatever battle of will was going on, it seemed the brat cracked, for with a frustrated sigh, she said, "Fine!" And followed, suit, discarding her towel and leaving herself in the buff. Eh, she still had an arm protecting her little, or not so little, muffins. Oh well, progress.

"Happy?" She said in a slightly challenging tone, cheeks already rosy and on their way to becoming full flush.

Giving her my best Molestia smile and a little nod, I replied in a voice dripping with sugar water. "Yes, verily."

"Ugh," she groaned. "Honestly, why are you... You're so... weird."

"And you're a brat."

"At least I have shame."

"Well, no one's perfect. Come on, relax. We have this sweet spot to ourselves. Might as well make the best of it. Speaking of," I licked my lips. "I could really go for something to drink right now."

Reaching behind her, Jackie pulled an honest to goodness little trapdoor on right near the bath and retrieved two glasses, along with an ice cold pitcher of, huh, was that wine or something?

"Gotta give it to the ponies," she grudgingly admitted as she held up the up the bottle containing a rosy pinkish liquid. "They know how to do luxury right. Well, for a backwards, medieval little prey species, at least." Pouring a generous amount, she gave a glass to me and took one for her own.

Giving the concoction a sniff and then a careful sip, I was pleasantly surprised at the faint taste of alcohol, barely there and more fruity than anything and not some fru-fru champagne. Blegh, I wouldn´t even scrub the floor with that stuff.

"Hey, cut them some slack, girl. They were spawned from the concept of a show appealing to little girls, for crying out loud and the cosmic forces keeping the Multiverse running just took it up and blew life into it. Would you rather have them be some kind of Berserk or Claymore-like beasties that try to rape you into a bloody pulp or try to feast on your quivering guts while you are still alive?" I asked, swirling the pink drink in my glass in a way of faux class before draining almost half of it in one go. After refilling it, Jackie and I lounged in a comfortable silence, enjoying the water and company. I couldn't help but notice, and to my amusement, that the girl was obviously a lightweight when it came to handling her alcohol.
Her posture relaxed noticeably the more she drank, her eyelids drooped and a rosy tint spread across her cheeks.

"What?" She asked all of a sudden.

"Huh?" Crap, I was staring, wasn't I? "Sorry, kiddo. Just wondering," I half lied.

"About what?" She took another sip, only to find her glass empty. Her brow furrowed lightly, somewhat annoyed and poured herself another generous helping.

"Easy there, girl. You don't wanna overdo it," I said in a mildly chiding tone, the words escaping my mouth before I could even register them. Couldn't tell why, really. If she wanted to drink, then let her. Not like I'm her mom or anything.

"Just a little more," she said, her words slightly slurred and took a hearty gulp. I couldn't help but chuckle.

"At least you're enjoying yourself." She gave a noncommittal grunt. This brought forth something that had been lingering on the back of my mind. "So tell me, my new, underage drinking buddy. How was your first foray into Ponyland? Wait, let me guess. You woke up in Ponyville, is that about right?"

She blinked. "How did... uh, yeah. That's it."

I held up a finger. "Alright, alright, let me guess. So right after you woke up, you ran into one of the Mane Six, is that right?" Yep, I definitely hit the nail on the head, for her eyes shot open in surprise before nodding slowly.
"And after you met said pony, you then went on to live with Twilight Sparkle, is that it?"

"So, so. You left out everything that happened in between."

"Oh? Like what?"

"Well, there was the time I got knocked out, kidnapped, thrown in a cage and about to be shipped like a common animal across state lines to some asshole pony who thought to make a profit out of me or something."

"Ehh, wut?" I asked oh-so-eloquently. I admit, Jackie took me by surprise then and there but she did not seem to register my question, for she downed the whole of her drink and filled it full to the brim, the liquid sloshing messily over the water. Not that she seemed to mind as her cheeks now sported a full on blush and her speech noticeably slurred, the alcohol's effect emboldening her.

"But I broke out. Had to kill a couple of the little beasts but I got out. Damn, that was messy. Got blood all over me," she said with distaste, nose wrinkling at the memory. "And this other guy, he kinda surprised me so I broke his neck and buried him out in the forest. Don't think anyone found him and don't even get me started on the wildlife. Fuckin' manticores and wood wolves and craggadiles trying to get up in my business. Think they're hot shit and all until you peel off their skin, turn them inside out or burn them alive." She chuckled. An unsettling sound that gave me a queasy feeling on the stomach. "And then the Diamond dogs. Stupid things. Ugly, too. Crushed their leader's face with his own hammer until it was nothing but a puddle of goop." She took another swig. "Got my ribs and insides busted, but I showed him what's what." Her features darkened. "And then little princess Sparkle goes and finds me. You know she all but blackmailed and kidnapped me. Forced me to socialize with her minions in the hopes I get reformed or some shit... threatens to throw me in a pony dungeon if I step out of line. Filthy little beasts," she hissed. "God, what I wouldn't give for the opportunity to snap her scrawny little neck."

She took a swig of her drink and emptied it. She reached for the bottle again and I was so tempted to slap it from her grasp. But the alcohol's effects had made her clumsy and so she knocked the bottle of no doubt expensive liquid into the water. She muttered something along the lines of, "Tch. Typical." And to my surprise, she used the arm that kept her puppies modestly covered to try and retrieve it. A pervert I may be but even I had standards and so I quickly averted my gaze, but not before catching a flash of perky, pink nipple. God, I'm awful...

I don't know what was worse. That she committed all these murders or the hint of pride that laced her voice. Chara much? A part of me hoped her claims were exaggeration but judging what I saw in the cave, with yaks and all, I feared it may very well be true.

"That's... Jackie, that's not healthy. You shouldn't talk like that." I couldn't help but blurt out. Girl did not seem to pay me much mind as she now held the bottle to her eyes, seemingly oblivious to the fact her chest was exposed for the world to see. Must not look. Must not look...

"Thanks, mom. I'll take it under advisement once the ponies aren't trying to screw me over." she said condescendingly. She sighed, now aware of the fact her drink was ruined by the bathwater and carelessly tossed the bottle and glass, where they shattered into a million pieces. To my relief, she now noticed her sweater puppies were on full display and hastily covered them, her cheeks now positively flaming.

But even this gave no relief, for Jackie's rant still rang through my mind. I swallowed the heated words and arguments that threatened to spill from my lips. I so wanted grab the girl, shake her repeatedly and maybe beat some sense into her, for all the good it would do. She's stubborn if nothing else.

"Jesus Christ, girl. You almost make me want to take up smoking." I muttered, running a hand over my face.

To my surprise, she barked out a harsh laugh. "Yeah, I'd want to take up smoking as well, considering all the shit I go through."

"Now you're being ridiculous."

"Am I?" She asked, a hint of venom lacing her tone. "You're ridiculous. You actually seem to like this damned place. I don't see how you could. Everything here is just so... unnatural."

"Unnatural how?" I challenged. Jackie scoffed.

"Gee, where do I start? Common animals possess a degree of sapience, for one. Ponies tend the weather and the world, believing wild sanctuaries like the Everfree Forest, which functions perfectly without their interference, is something to be feared. And don't even get me started on the worthless wildlife. I honestly thought when Rarity tried to explain the concept of Winter Wrap-Up she'd been trying to pull my leg, but no. The little bunnies and birdies and snakies and beavers and racoons and any other number of wild pests that would have belonged in a stew pot or a grill back home were tended to as if they were helpless infants, unable to go through life without the constant, incessant mothering of the ponies. Minotaurs, griffons, hydras, dragons and any number of mythological creatures strutting around as it were the most natural thing in the world. The sun and moon, governed by pastel freakazoids. Love, at the whim and manipulation of an eldritch creature secluded in the Crystal Empire, free to roam around as it sees fit. A little pony princess, governing a backwards mud town in the middle of nowhere. Seven MacGuffin trinkets representing harmony, able to Deus ex Machina anything that stood in their way. My days are spent looking at abrasive, overtly bright colors that no human eye should be forced to take in, while on nights I listen to the retch-inducing lullabies of crickets, melodious winds, pony mothers tucking in their little beasts and it's all I can do to stave off a steadily increasing psychotic break, or to keep from slipping into a diabetic coma." She'd given herself to her full blown rant at this point and even as I listened, appalled, I made a note to keep the girl well and away from alcohol in the future.

At this, I could not held myself back anymore. I let my fist crash down on the tub's edge (damn, that hurt!), leaving a dent in the solid stone. "Well, surprise, so have I!" I hissed, glaring at Jackie "First off, after I crashed face first from high orbit into the Wastelands, I ran into a Unicorn that wanted to dissect me for his bullshit Nazi supremacy plans so I had to off him and his mercs. Afterwards, I had to cut my way through a whole burrow of Diamond Dogs who somehow managed to get their mitts on my Red Minions' nest. After getting killed by their leader, I drowned the fucker in his own fucking smelter after smashing all his ribs... slowly!" I jabbed a finger at the girl opposite of me, then pointing at the three long scars covering my abdomen "See this? This is where a frikking Chimera almost disemboweled me. In my own fucking Tower because it thought it would make a nice new kitty box! It´s pelt now is a nice rug in my bathroom. It´s mate got pounded to paste by my half dragon girlfriend, who by the way nearly went berserk there, not to mention the whole fucking civil war going on in Zinnia´s Verse because some asshole Pokemon is trying to kill everything that moves with lucid nightmares!" I don't think she quite understood that last part but I continued on nonetheless. "Oh, and have I mentioned that almost every single time I leave my tower, I run at risk to be snatched up by bounty hunters because there is a damn bounty on my head from the Princesses themselves?"

"So what's your point?"

"Urgh, Jackie, please." I felt my anger dissolve as fast as it had come. "My point is, that killing might be a necessary thing but you should never ever, under no circumstances, get used to it or let it become your first choice of action. That kind of thinking will take you to a bad place, girl. A place of never-ending darkness that makes the nine circles of Hell look like the Garden of Eden." She seemed to ponder my words, her face nearly expressionless. I stayed silent, allowing her time to reach her own conclusion. I just hope it will be a good one.

A small, barely audible sigh escaped her lips. She avoided eye contact with me. "How'd you do it? Not let it get to you, I mean?"

"Honestly? I dunno. Not really. Your whole life you try to be a decent person, live by certain moral standards. Killing is wrong. Stealing. Bedding your neighbor's wife. Even if said wife is a yummilicious piece of..." I cleared my throat, my cheeks only slightly burning. "Look, what's done is done, squirt and no amount of fairy dust can undo it. All you can do is move past it and strive to be a better person tomorrow where that's concerned."

A disbelieving sound escaped her throat. "Yeah, I might be wrong but I don't think wholesale slaughter is the kind of thing you get better from."

"However you can do it, girl. So long as you put your best foot forward and you're honest about it you'll find your way. Don't get me wrong though, sometimes, there are idiots who deserve a good punch in the snooze. Nothing against a few Renegade points." She still didn't look convinced.

"It happened to me, you know? Back in the day, before all this pony nonsense. There was a time in my life I wasn't a good person, daughter or all around human being, to be honest."

"You?"

I nodded. "Aye. Me, girl. Allow me to tell you a little story. A story about this girl named Sara Schneider. It's not too long." I heaved a sigh and licked my lips. It's not a story I'm particularly fond of. "So you see, there was once this young girl that thought it would be cool to be a rough and tumble gang member, doing drugs and giving people shit just for the hell of it. And so she joined the ranks of a small group that called themselves a gang, even though they were merely more than nuisances at best at this time.

Seeing as she was the only girl in the group, she had to be tougher than all the guys and after busting some heads against walls, several kicks in the crown jewels and the threat to cut some guy's dick off, she was accepted as a full-fledged member. So the girl's days as a street thug began, much to the dismay of her friends and family. Oh, how her mother begged her to stop meeting with these shady people and oh, how her father was furious how his little girl could stray so far from the right path, seeing has he himself had made the exact same mistakes in his life early on, wishing his child not to experience the same things he had to endure, but to no avail.

The girl would hear nothing of that and so she spent her days with her new friends, drinking booze, doing drugs and behaving like the last piece of social refuse in public. They bullied goody-two-shoes, were mean to old people and made fun of everyone in general. Our girl specifically had it out for another girl jogging along the park where the gang hung out every day. Countless were the times she made the jogging girl trip, or how often she threw a half drunk can of beer her way all while shouting obscenities like a sailor.

All of this went on for months, years even until one day, the leader of the gang had the bright idea that the gang should start selling drugs themselves to earn more money. So they, did but the boss soon became their own best customer much to his mens' and our girl's ire but they put up with it, seeing as they still made good money. That is, until the day that our girl and some of the guys went to fetch new booze that the boss, high on drugs, thought it a good idea to get a bit too touchy-feely with the woman of the leader of the local Hell's Angels charter. Yes, it went as well as one could imagine.
The charter's leader rallied all his men, fifty in total, and drove to the little gang's hideout to deliver the punishment for the boss' misdeed. It was just then our girl returned with the booze as the bloody, beaten leader of her gang was bound to a bike which in turn drove off with high speed, the screaming idiot dragged after it towards a gory death. But it did not end there, no. The Hell's Angels leader decided to make an example out of the gang and so, he had his men break the legs of each male member of the girl's gang while she herself received another offer.

Either she were to work the streets for the Angels until the leader deemed it that she had atoned enough for her own leader's misdeed or she were to do each of his men a... favor. Caught between a rock and a loaded gun, our girl decided on the latter. It was not pretty and lasted a whole grueling day but in the end, our girl was let go, broken, defiled, a quivering wreck. After what felt like hours of numb wandering, the girl finally broke down on the side of an often frequented jogging path in her favorite park. She did not knew how long she sat there, sobbing her heart out. It was then that suddenly, she felt someone put something over her shoulders.

Looking up with red, puffy eyes, our girl looked into the face of the one jogger girl she had tormented all this time. This girl right now looked at our girl with nothing but genuine concern on her face, offering her jacket to the sobbing girl as well as a shoulder to lean on. After another seemingly endless while, both girls went to a nearby bakery where the jogger girl, over a cup of coffee and some small baked goodies, silently listened as our girl poured her heart out to her, sniveling apologies to her former victim more often than not.

The jogger girl patiently listened and after our girl finally ended her story, she offered to drive her to the hospital or home first, if the girl preferred. Meekly accepting the saintly offer, our girl asked to be driven home and so it happened, but not before asking one burning question, the question of 'Why?' to which the jogger girl replied that she was a firm believer in that everybody deserved a second chance in life and why not start over now? To that, our girl could only rapidly nod, new tears of gratitude streaming down her cheeks. And this, my dear Jacqueline, is the story of how I became a better person and met my best friend for many years to come, Vivianne. The end."

I drank a big part of my glass as Jackie took in my tale. Her eyes searched mine. For what, I did not know and I could see something stirring behind her façade.

"I like that story." she said at last. Her features soft. She didn't have to say anything. Certainly looked younger that moment than her sixteen years.

"So you see, my dear. If stupid little Sara can bounce back from her poorly thought out life choices, you can too." I tousled her hair gently and for once, she didn't slap me off. Rather, her visage turned ponderous.

"Was it easy? Coming back from all that?"

The ghost of a smile graced my lips but died instantly. "No. No, it was not. It took the better part of five years of therapy until I could let anyone, let alone a man, touch me for longer than three seconds before dissolving into hysterics and for the nightmares to stop." I showed her my left wrist, pointing out a luckily good healed scar that nearly went all the way from my wrist to my elbow. "That was my first attempt, nearly offed myself then. My second try was with sleeping pills but luckily they did not mix well with the other meds I took that time and I threw up most of it. I spent a whole year in the closed section of a psychiatric ward afterwards." I gave a forlorn sigh as I felt my heart ache at the memory. "What really helped me out of there were my parents and my little brother. He is a nuisance most of the time, to cool to do anything like other children his age do but this time, he drew me a picture. Y´know, with crayon and all. It was a picture showing all of us as cats because I really love cats. Complete with a 'Get better soon, Sis' and all. It's still sitting in my drawer back home, last I saw. And that Mom managed to bring me my old Teddy. An old, worn thing really. Was hers before she passed it down to me. Old Fuzzy still has his place on my bed. Well, back home, I mean. And thanks to Vivi, I met a baker's dozen of people who I truly and proudly can call my friends from now on till Ragnarök." My mood almost evaporated as I remembered my current predicament. "Truth be told, I don't know if I'd ever see them all again. Fuck, even if only to say goodbye."

"Do you miss them?"

"Of course I do, girl. I missed them since day one and I still do but it gets easier. A bit like when you move out of home and into your own apartment. I'll probably stay here for a very long time, if not for life. I'll always remember them but I'll allow myself to let go and recall the people they once were."

She grunted. "I had a mom back home too. And a friend. Had some family scattered across the country but I didn't know them all that well."

"It's the one thing they don't prepare you for, being Displaced and all. But I think we've held up pretty good so far."

We were silent for several beats, only the occasional stirring of the water to break it. "Would you go back if you could?" She asked.

"Of course," was my automatic response and yet, a part of me wasn't too sure. I've come into my own being here, for all the hardships it's brought. "And you?"

"In a heartbeat. I was hoping to find some way to do that back in my 'Verse. No luck so far." Watching Jackie's face, I could see her mind was starting to go dark places. Poor girl. Well, there'd be time for that later and though I couldn't exactly help her find a way back home, I'd help her the only way I knew how.

"On a totally unrelated fashion..." I started, glancing at Jackie over the edge of my glass. "Please don't take this the wrong way but I just have to ask you that because the question is nearly killing me by now: Hot Dogs, Fish Taco or both?"

Little Jackie gave me a blank stare. Jeez, guess I had to be blunt again.

"Are you straight, gay or bi?"

"W-what kind of question is that?"

"A simple one," I replied idly. "And I am just asking because the phat smooch you gave me the very moment we met."

She let out a long groan, covering her face. "I was hoping you'd forget that."

"Yeah, no such luck."

"What do you care, anyway?"

"Like I said, idle curiosity."

Looking at me balefully, she said, loud and clear. "Hot dogs, okay? Hot dogs all the way."

"Agh," I exclaimed theatrically and snapped my fingers. "And here I was hoping you played for the other team. Many things I could have shown you, yes."

"I honestly can't tell if you're joking." she muttered, face flushed.

"You'd be surprised. I've had friends I've known for years and they still can't always tell either. But yes, kiddo, I'm joking. Besides, you're a little too young for my tastes. What, you said you were sixteen, right?"

"Almost seventeen." she said quickly.

"Still, I like my partners to be at most three to five years younger than I am. But enough about that. Tell me, and I think I already know the answer to this, was that your first kiss?"

Yep, that did it. If she was already flushed before now she went positively nuclear. Poor girl, she actually dunked her face in the water and didn't come out for almost a minute. Wow, that was some lung capacity. Also, it was almost impossible to not make some cheesy 'Wanna see how long I can hold my breath?' porn jokes right then and there.

"Was it that obvious?" she moaned after emerging from the water again.

"Eh, to me it was," I said and reached over to pat her head. "Hey now, nothing to be embarrassed about. Like I said, you did pretty well. A little practice and you might be a contender for best smoocher in town."

"Could you just shut up?" She practically begged.

Agh, why was it so fun to poke her? Well, I did stop. Or... well, I would. I just had to get one more thing out of my system. I sidled over, wrapping an arm around her, pulling her to my side. "Come on, squirt, lighten up. Like I said, if you're gonna stick around, you better be prepared for a whoooole lotta weirdness and randomness from yours truly. It's all in good fun. Life is grave enough on its own." She still looked sullenly up at me, but made no move to remove herself from my grasp. Heck, even though she still covered her puppies she was more or less relaxed at this point.

"Anyway, good news. I can feel my strength returning. My mana reserves as well and in, oh, a few hours I should be good and ready to go and 'port us back to my Tower. Ohh, you're gonna love it, girl. It's got all the amenities you could want. Well, maybe not as nice as this hotel, and you may want to steer clear of the torture chamber when Gnarl is using it or Gnarl in general but other than that, you're gonna like it, I guarantee," I said enthusiastically and she did seem to perk up a little. "But until then, let's just sit back and relax. Hey, if you're willing, we could even put in a little practice."

"Practice?"

I smiled evilly. "Well, you know..." I licked my my lips and leaned forward, making all sorts of smooching noises and taking glee at the look of abject horror that graced Jackie's face.

I got a slap in the face for my troubles, but it was so worth it.

"Okay, that one, I did deserve."

Author's Notes:

I hope you all enjoyed this little quality time between Umbra and Jackie. I know I did.^^

For all of you who are curious about how Umbra knew about Boast Busters without it showing up in the story per se, that question will be answered later on.