First thing I noticed, even before registering I was awake, much less alive was the fucking pain. Literally, everything in me ached! My muscles felt like they were on fire, my bones ached and my head literally felt as though it'd been split open. I should know. It happened before.

I wasn't sure how long I'd been lying here. I tried to get a feel for my Mana reserves. They were slowly but steadily getting back on to their usual level, and by a rough estimate of their increment, it was probably a couple of hours since I smacked into the ground.

There was the shuffling of footsteps somewhere around me, echoing all around. I barely opened an eye and could see that I was lying down in a cave of some sort, and somewhere beside me was the light, warmth and crackling of a fire. I tried to get on up to a sitting position, but the strain proved to be too much for my body and I failed to suppress a moan of pain. "Gahh... fuck me sideways with a rusty garden rake... The bloody fuck happened?" I managed to say out loud. Even words hurt quite a bit.

Still, no one answered my question. Quickly losing my patience, I slowly... slowly ambled to move myself up. Oh, there was pain to be sure. Quite extraordinary at that, but pain and I had been getting well acquainted as of late, so I was able to power through it.

Now that I had a better view, I could see that the cave was well removed from the harsh weather conditions outside. There was nary a trace of snow, and whoever it was that put me here had been considerate enough to place me close to the fire. Was it the brat who did this? Did she survive a fall that even the Shepard couldn't hope to walk away from? Or was it someone else.

From what I remember of the show, the only place where there's snow are the northern territories of Equestria. Maybe a nice pony had seen my sorry state and moved to help?

No, that wasn't it. Why? Because filling up the cavern was a smell, a particularly good one. The smell of roasting meat. There, in the fire, propped up on sticks were hunks of some unfortunate animal. My mouth immediately watered. Using up all that Mana, not to mention my body churning through calories like crazy in the winterland had caused me no small amount of hunger. I felt like eating a horse, all the bad puns intended.

I reached out with my bare arm and... wait, what?

My armor. Where in the fuckedy fuck was my armor?

Looking down, I could see I was still clothed. Red tunic? Check. Brown pants? Check. Panties? Yup, all there. Whoever had laid me down here had made an impromptu bed out of a thick, brown, blanket like material that was very good at keeping me toasty and warm, even if it smelled a bit funky.

Minding to keep as much of myself under it, I removed one of the glorious meat chunks, juicy and brown and bit into it, not minding the fact it was searing hot. Tears began streaming down my face in a anime-ish fashion, of that I am sure as I chewed, swallowed and repeated. At this point I did not care what kind of meat this was, it was hitting the spot. After finishing my first course, I found enough strength in me to properly sit up, keeping the smelly yet warm blanket around me. "´Ello? Someone there? Jackie? Can you hear me girl?" I asked into the cave, mentally preparing several plans for several possible situations that I might would find myself in.

Ah, there was my armor, and I couldn't help but feel a smidge of irritation at how it had all been lumped together in an unsightly pile. But... where was the Beast? Surely not... well, shit. It was a sobering thought and though I would normally curse and make a big fuss about losing my trusted companion, I had just enough strength still to merely slump and sulk. Man, I liked that Beast.

>>No. Come on, already, me. This is not the time or place to be sentimental.<<

Mustering my slowly increasing strength, I tried to stand up again and... fraaaaaaaak that hurts! Ow. I may still be alive, but I banged myself up pretty good. I couldn't move much under my current condition. Shit, feels like some broken ribs. That will severely limit my movement.

It was at this point that I assessed the situation and assumed the worst. I was badly beaten, barely able to move. My armor had been discarded, the Beast lost and I couldn't perform a measly Fireball to save my life. Fuck, I was the Overlady. By all rights, my name and presence alone should be enough to inspire fear and hopelessness in the masses and here I was, easy pickings for whoever saw it fit to end me. This was unacceptable. UNACCEPTABLE!

I slowed my breathing, calmed myself and closed my eyes. I called to what little Mana I had left and guided it to heal me. Not that any Overlord or even the famous Warlock himself thought about to create a self-healing spell, nooooo sir. All mayhem and destruction en masse but not the flimsiest bit of restoration magic, it would have been a reason to laugh would it not nearly made me cry! So I had to make with the bits and bobs of magical knowledge I scrunched together from Lyra or to be more precise, her memories. Mare had been at Celestia´s School for gifted Unicorns for a reason. Nonetheless all I could do was a far cry from any "real" healing spell. It accelerated my natural healing process at best and ate through my measly Mana reserves faster than a starved Dragon would through a pile of gems. It was a slow process, and I couldn't tell you how long I sat there, but sure enough, little by little, the overall pain eased, the stabbing sensation in my side had been reduced to a dull throb, and while I still couldn't perform any offensive magic, I was able to move around without immense discomfort or pain.

There, that was better. Now, first order of business, gear up. No sooner did I make to move for my armor when the sound of footfalls resonated on the stone walls around me, and coming round the bend that probably led outside was the brat herself.

She was covered head to toe in one of the same blankets I had, and snow clung to it like ticks to a moose. She shook it off a draped it over rock to warm. It was obvious she still hadn't' spotted me, for she searched the area around the fire. I cleared my throat to get her attention and sure enough she gave a little start of surprise before hurrying over to me, her face clearly anxious.

"Oh, my God. Are you--" But she was cut off as I slugged her with my strongest haymaker. Gaw, that hurt like a bitch! Still, it was worth it.

"O...kay. I guess I deserved that," the brat said, and half heartedly rubbed at the spot. What... did she not even feel it? Aargh!

"Deserved that? Deserved that?! Girl, you nearly, single handedly caused the destruction of the entire Multiverse!" I screamed with an intensity I never knew I had. "Do you have any idea how difficult it was to keep all that bad juju inside you from leaking into the Void, not to mention that if it wasn't for you, I'd be chilling in my nice warm tower instead of being here, stuck in a damned ice box in the middle of nowhere and half dead! You... aargh!" I went for another hit, but she had enough sense to dodge and me? Well, I was still not all that there and so I ended up faceplanting the ground. Not exactly good when you've sustained massive internal damage.

Despite my best efforts I wailed in agony.

"God fucking son of a mother dancing polka with shoes full of rusty nails this hurts so fucking much my organs are trying to murder me by committing suicide by guzzling down barrels full of battery acid somebody kill me now!"

I had not felt that much pain since a long time. The incident with the Chimeras was definitive a close second.

I heard her footsteps come closer. "Here, let's get you warm," she muttered and grabbed my arm, draping it over her shoulder. "Can you stand?"

I was in a little too much pain to formulate a coherent response, so I tightened my hold on her and shakily got back to my feet. She guided me back to the fire and set me down close, taking a spot next to me.

"Are you hungry? There's meat," She offered, sounding a bit apologetic.

"I'm good. Already had some."

"Alright," she said quietly. From a pile of various assortment of things, she retrieved a small wooden board, kinda like the cutting boards people use back home and grabbed one of the searing pieces of meat right out of the fire, placing it atop her little board and sticking it with a knife.

She sat down next to me and quietly ate, board in her knees and slicing off pieces of meat, using the knife as a sort of fork. I would have advised against this or at least have warned her to be careful, but I was still kinda ticked.

"Sorry," she said all of a sudden, after we'd both been sitting in silence for a minute or two. "I didn't mean for you to get hurt."

I let out a breath I did not know I was holding. "It was pretty much all kinds of stupid what you did. You nearly killed us both and with ninety-nine, comma, nine, period percent all other forms of life all over the Multiverse," I said in a hard voice. Jackie looked away. "Well, I guess I can understand where you're coming from. I'm probably the only other person you've seen in a while, right?"

She smiled tentatively. "First person who still has their head on straight, yeah. I missed that. People, I mean. And when you were there and all of a sudden you were leaving... well, I could have handled that a little better."

In spite of myself, I couldn't help but chuckle. Man, I couldn't stay too mad at this girl. Hell, she was still so young. Me, I think I handled my coming to Equestria relatively well. True, I still missed my family, but all the same, I learned to take care of myself, I moved out and was more independent and knowledgeable in life than Jackie. Her... she was still a kid. Went to school, lived with her parents, hung out with friends and probably never had to deal with the shit us adults have had to. The things that hardened us and enabled us to fend for ourselves in the world. And if I was in the same situation as her... well, I could understand why she acted the way she did.

"Yeah, maybe next time think a little before jumping into the corridor between dimensions. That Multiverse can be a sneaky one, so you never know what it's gonna hit you with next."

For the first time she looked a little more upbeat. She sliced off a piece of her meat hunk and offered it, still impaled in the knife. I flashed her a big smile, wide enough that she could see my Alucard teeth and downed the morsel, chewing contentedly.

"You know, that was some mighty fine campfire cookin' you had going there. Where'd you learn to do that?"

She chewed her own piece, staring off thoughtfully and swallowed. "Learned pretty recently, actually. I'm actually better at it than I thought I'd be. Never done it before coming here to this horsey fairyland."

"Equestria, girl. Equestria. World usually goes by the name of Equus in the fandom."

"Tell me something," she said after swallowing a piece. "Is it just me or do these ponies have an unhealthy obsession with punny names. I've taken a look at some maps and atlases and basically every pony territory sounds like it was named by a prepubescent girl."

I chuckled. "Ya, them ponies sure like their play on words. But remember, kiddo, based off a little girl's show."

"And I still find that both ridiculous and easy to believe."

"I suppose it would be, to someone who's never been exposed to the fandom." Despite already partaking on a hearty chunk of roasted critter, my stomach rumbled yet again. Girl noted this with a wry smirk.

"Seconds?" She said and presented me with yet another tasty, juicy morsel.

"Don’t mind if I do," I quipped, trying my damnedest to not let my blushing cheeks show.

After a few seconds of comfortable silence, Jackie said, "You know, I'm actually surprised this turned out as good as it did. Didn't have much time to practice before coming here."

"Practice, huh? On what did you practice this exactly?"

"Chicken and a pig. First one didn't come out all that good. Pig was a lot better, though," she said offhandedly.

Whoa, what? Damn, this girl had some nerve. "And how did the ponies react when you killed an innocent life... hey, whoa," I held up my hands as she looked a bit miffed. "I mean, I like me some pork chops as much as the next girl, but killing a piggy in colorful horseyland... I can't imagine that went over well. It´s pretty much like good old Hannibal Lecter for us."

"Ponies? Hah!" She scoffed. "They weren't even aware it was me. Stupid little things have no security whatsoever. All I had to do was sneak in the middle of the night, grab one and scram before anyone could investigate."

I thought about this for a moment. "So I've been meaning to ask you. Where exactly were you staying during all this? With one of the Mane Six, maybe... oh, wait, you don't know who they are, do you?" She shook her head and I enlightened her as to who the show's heroines were. As I listed each and every one of them, Jackie's face morphed into an increasingly sour grimace. "I take it you know them?"

"Oh yeah, I know them," she said in a tone that booked no further argument, so I decided to change the subject.

"Well, we can't stay here forever. I think as soon as the blizzard dies down we should go and try to look for the nearest town or city. What do you say?"

"Oh, right! I forgot..." She stood up and headed on over to a pile of... stuff, I dunno. There were wooden boxes, burlap sacks, some bottles... alcohol? Oh, yes! Well, before I could call out for her to toss me one, she came back holding a piece of parchment as tall and wide as a small child. "I found this map, see? But I can't make heads or tails of it."

True enough, it was a map, scribbled in some weird language. It wasn't what you would call professionally made. There were scribbling in the margins and stains of what looked to be coffee. At least I hoped it was coffee. Still, it was better than nothing. Looked somehow like stuff smugglers would use.

"Hey, not bad squirt," I said, my spirits just a little bit higher than a moment ago. "Where did you get this?"

And just like that, her countenance spoke of uncertainty. "Well, I got it from some... I dunno, cow things."

"Cow things?"

"Well, yeah, you know. I mean, after we both crash landed I was looking all over for you and I did, I knew we had to get out of the snow as soon as possible. So I carried you for a while and found this cave, only... it wasn't exactly empty," she said, unconsciously wringing her hands.

"And what happened?"

"Like I said, those cow things. Really hairy and loud. There were three of them and I think they were bandits or something because their leader attacked me."

"And..." I asked, dreading the answer.

"I eighty six'd him, obviously. Then his lackeys went after me and I had to off them too and... what? Don't look at me like that, it was us or them."

Us or them. Yeah, I could get behind such thinking, but damn! This girl... she wasn't an adult yet. Just... damn.

And then, something hit me. A thought, a suspicion. Nothing more than that and yet, it hit me like a sucker punch to the gut.

"Jackie?"

"Hm?"

"Where did you get this meat?"

For a split second she froze before going back to chewing as if nothing was amiss. "What do you mean?" She asked in a forcibly casual tone.

I chuckled, trying to lighten the mood, yet the sound that emanated from my throat was strained and void of humor. "Well, you certainly didn't find any meat out there in the snow. It came from somewhere and I don´t talk about the meat-blimp."

The girl now avoided looking at me, her chewing ceased and you could practically hear the gears on her head grinding against each other. "H-hey, why don't you eat some more? We need to get you better and back on your feet, huh?" She said more than a little quickly and a chill that had nothing to do with the cold suddenly shot up my spine.

She tentatively offered me another slice of meat, a look of uncertainty and uncertainty on her face. Something was wrong here and it was impossible to not smell the cow shit in the dark at this point. I stood up, not bothering to take the offered morsel.

"Where are you going? You shouldn’t be walking around right now, you know."

I did not answer. My legs seemed to be moving by their own will. From somewhere behind me I could make out a muffled curse, the pattering of feet and a hand clasped my arm.

"Look, let's just..."

I wrenched my arm from her and kept on walking. As I left the warmth of the fire and the smell of cooking meat, the stench in the air was replaced by something else. The chamber I woke up in seemed to be one of at least two in the cavern and as I left its confines and wandered further on, I came upon a grisly sight.

Three yaks, dead. And killed in the most gruesome way possible. The floor and stone walls were stained with buckets worth of blood, long since frozen. One of the yaks' stomach had burst from the inside, splattering everything around it with blood, organs and any other number of bodily fluids. Another one had its entire hindquarters severed from the rest of its body, a long metal something sticking up in the air from its shoulder blades, but it was the fate of the last yak that broke my composure.

It's head was severed, and its body void of skin and its bloody fur was propped atop a slab of stone, its belly gutted of any organs, its legs hacked off. A carcass, drawn and quartered and with some very noticeable chunks of meat and muscle missing from its frame.

The whole scene could have been straight from one of these shitty psycho-slasher movies Phil was so oddly fond of.

From the corner of my eye I saw a small shape sidle next to me. It was Jacqueline. She looked at me in guarded wariness, but there was nary a trace of regret or remorse on her features.

"Yeah, those guys," the girl said, trying to sound nonchalant. "Fucking assholes. Tried to kill me and all. Smelled, too. Obviously, they picked the wrong human to mess with. Hell, I even warned them to leave but they just charged at me and..."

My stomach churned and before I could help myself, I doubled over and puked up its contents.

"Aw! Watch it!" She cried out as my puke very nearly splattered against her feet.

"God fucking... damit Jaqueline! Rule one, rule number motherfucking one, NEVER eat the meat of someone who can beg you not to! That shit can give you this nasty nerve disease where you begin to shake uncontrollably and you can become addicted to boot." I wiped my mouth and backed of a bit from the... remains I just splattered all over the caves floor. "I mean, I devour souls on a regular basis, I absorb the very essence of life into me to create my Minions but this is plain nasty!"

If she was the least chastised she did not show it. She crossed her arms and stared at me defiantly. "Food's food. What does it matter to you?"

"Are you fucking daft, girl?! There's a difference between eating a little piggy and talking, sapient being!" I was this close to bitch slapping some sense into that brat.

The insolent girl had the gall to roll her eyes at me. "Oh, please, if I threw a rock in a random direction I'd probably hit a sapient bird or spider or bunny rabbit or something. Besides, what would you have me do? Roll over and let them kill the two of us?"

I winced, my whole body ached, but even that paled in comparison to the fury I now felt. "Goddamn it, brat, you could have done something different. If you had the power to kill them, you sure as hell could have restrained them or sent them packing. You... you... you didn't have to do this!"

She didn't look too impressed, though her cheeks steadily flushed. "Uh-huh. And if you and I had switched places, would you have done just that? Or would you do like me and kill them where they stood?" Jacqueline replied, nary a trace of regret on her features. "And what does it matter to you, anyway? Didn’t you say this world is based off of a little girls' show? It's all fictional! Who cares what you do, it's not like it matters." She stared at me, challenging to oppose her.

"OF COURSE IT MATTERS YOU INSIPID CUNT!" I suddenly found the strength to shoot up to my full height and to raise my voice to levels that would have probably cowed a charging dragon. "A butterfly's wingbeat on one side of the globe can lead to a devastating hurricane on the other and a falling bag rice can cause an earthquake. This is the fucking Multiverse, all of this might have been spawned when the kids show MLP was created but this here, THIS IS REAL! Every creature here is as real as you, living, breathing, not just some imaginary piece of entertainment. If the Predators someday would show up on earth, starting to do their thing, gutting you and your loved ones alive for trophies, would it not matter just because we thought them to be 'just fictional'? The moment your scrawny ass was dumped into this shit, it BECAME your reality! Everything you will do impacts your Universe in a way that can never be undone. Everything is finite. Do you understand?!?" I did not know when my hands had clenched around Jackie's shoulders but the moment my anger driven rant ended, I noticed just how tightly I had clenched them because a massive wave of pain rolled back into me. Regardless, in spite of the pain I did not let go.

I stared into her eyes, hoping, searching for a sign that my rant might have gotten through to her, even if just a smidge. Jackie's arm were still crossed, but as I laid into her cracks started to form and now, I could have sworn that even if it was for a split second, something akin to regret flashed in her features.

"Well, the Predators are not here, are they? I am and I can tell you right now, if some idiot sapient beast tries to kill me, I will defend myself with everything I have. If it's a choice between me or some random cartoon characters from an obscure show for little girls... I will always choose myself. Besides, it's not like I had much of a choice."

"Damn it, girl! Of course you have a choice!" My voice cracked, the pitch in my voice more than a little desperate as I shook her. "You... you didn't have to do this."

"You've killed before, haven't you?"

"What?" I whispered, my body frozen. "How did you know?"

"I didn't, not really. I had a suspicion and you just confirmed it." She studied my face evenly, a ponderous expression on her face. "If this universe of yours is anything like the one I came from, then I know for sure the ponies would never accept someone like you. Not someone with your looks, armor and I saw that monster mace you had strapped to your hip. Or are you really gonna try and bullshit something about how it's for self defense or the like? No, you've killed before. That much is obvious. And if you have, you know as well as I do that hindsight is 20/20. When those fuckers came at us I acted the only way I know how. Yes, I killed them and I would do it again. I'm good at killing things, I found."

I stared at her with horror, my eyes wide, mouth dry and unable to form words. But this didn't mollify the girl. If anything, it seemed to piss her off more than anything.

"You goddamn hypocrite," she hissed. "You're no better than me and you have the gall to try and lecture me? How many lives have you ended? How many creatures have you killed with nothing but your bare hands? You think eating souls is that much better than carving up a dumb animal? The only reason I made it this far is because I'm willing to do whatever it takes to keep my life and freedom, so if you think you can come here with your holier-than-thou attitude and judge me like you're so much better, then you can go to hell. And your ideals too."

Without another word, she freed herself from my grasp and moved well into the cavern and out of sight.

I collapsed. Man, that took a lot from me. I did not regret going off on the girl. She had to learn. It was for the best. But then... I had a good feeling about Jackie, back the first few moments we met. She seemed like a good kid, so what could have possessed her to have such a callous attitude for other living things? Might or might not have been due to my injuries, I suspected to have suffered at least minor head trauma. I'd have to make sure and ask, but how to approach her?

Plus the little things Jackie said about me, being a hypocrite... well, no shit, those hurt nearly worse than actually dying and not only because Jackie had at least somehow been right...

Whatever my plans were, they would have to wait for another time. All that exertion had taken its toll on me, and the incoming haze of sleep proved impossible to shake off. I could only hope the girl would still be there when I woke up.

Don´t know how long I was away in my surprisingly dreamless slumber but with a shit-ton of relief, I carefully stretched after waking up again. Almost immediately pain greeted me, shooting through every nerve in my body, thankfully not with the intensity of a raging bull but still like a mob of pissed off Yorkie dogs. Looking around I failed to find Jackie but the fact that the fire was still burning gave me at least a smidgen of hope that she was still around.

Hissing through clenched teeth, I stood up. Right now, I would have committed cold-blooded murder for a Med-Kit or a Healing Potion. As the stars blinked out of my eyes I noticed for the first time in front of me was a small bag... a sack, laid at my feet.

Food was inside it. Dried hunks of some sort of vegetables and fruits. A peace offering maybe? Either way, I downed the whole thing. Didn't taste good, exactly, but my body was still in sore need of nourishment.

Now, where exactly did that girl get off to?

"Hey, girl. You there?" My voice was raspy and harsh. Damn, I needed some water.

A quick once over revealed no other life forms in the area. The pain that flared throughout my body had thankfully reduced to a dull ache. Gotta love that Overlord endurance.

Well, I still needed to see whether the girl was still in the vicinity. I was... pretty sure she was still around. Then again, I did go pretty hard on her.

I tried the alternative passageway, the one away from that... ugh, kill room and but did not get very far. The storm was still well and howling outside, blowing enough cold air to freeze a moose solid in seconds. Nope, nope, nope.

Did she venture out again? Tough kid, considering she didn't wear much in the way of protection. In the end, I went back to the campfire, rummaged through the yaks' belongings and found some water, more dried foods and eventually, after waiting a while, Jackie herself eventually stumbled upon. She still wore that blanket, encrusted in snow and upon seeing me, she froze.

"Come here, girl," I said, mindful to keep any hostility from my voice. "Let's get you warm." I tried offering a small smile while replicating Jackie's own words, though I'm pretty sure it came out tired more than anything.

Jackie cocked her head, surprise evident in her eyes. She dropped the snow covered blanket and slowly ambled forward, hesitation coloring her every step. Truth be told, I was feeling a bit too tired to get angry. Rage and anger's not really me, much less so when I'm not feeling like it. Instead, I opted for a different approach. I met lil´ Jackie halfway, pulling her in a hug while channeling as much of my 'older sibling' vibes as I could.

"H-hey... what are you..." Her body tensed and she squirmed, trying to get away, but I kept my hold on her.

"Sorry that I had blown up in your face like that Hon. I get a bit cranky when I am in horrendous, soul wrecking pain."

She sighed, a muffled sound as I kinda had her face pressed to me. "I told you, I was sorry for that," she said, indeed sounding regretful.

"Yeah, that you did, kid," I tried to chuckle, but my ribs were still kinda banged up, and instead, a pained wheeze came out my lips. "Ow... come on. Let's... let's go sit down or whatever. I think standing up's literally killing me," I said jokingly. She didn't laugh.

I could tell she did not fully know what to make of my turn about. Still, she helped get me back to the fire.

"Hey, where you going? Come back here." Silly girl. She tried to sit somewhere away from me. I opened the blanket, signifying her to come in, which she grudgingly did so. I in turn wasted no time putting my arm around her and pulled her close. Well as much as I could without pressing her against my ribs. "See now, that's better. Cozy and warm, eh?"

"Sure." She shrugged and got herself comfortable on the smelly blanket.

"Speaking of... all of this stuff, the blankets, food, water and all, that was all the yaks', wasn't it?"

A terse nod followed.

"Look, squirt," I sighed and licked my lips, not fully knowing how to proceed. I was a very 'direct and to the point' type of girl and didn't usually like to skirt around things, but it had to be done. "What you did to those yaks... that wasn't good. You shouldn't have done that, no matter what they planned to do to you."

Already she was gearing up to protest, but I held up a hand placatingly. "Hey now, please, just let me say my piece, okay?"

"Fine," she sulked and withdrew into herself.

"Jackie... I like you. You seem like a nice kid. Whatever your reasons were for doing what you did... can I assume it was because of whatever happened in your own universe?" After a moment of hesitation, she confirmed my thoughts and nodded. "Okay. I don't know what happened, but whatever it was, I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to go through it and that it caused you to... do that to the yaks. But squirt, I don't mean to sound authoritarian or something, but you oughta know that there's some things you just shouldn't do. Whatever your viewpoint was coming here, about this world and the creatures that inhabit it, they deserve the same amount of respect as you would have for a fellow human. I know that I am not one to talk, seeing as I admittedly took a couple of life's myself but even than, it never became something that got easier over time. Trust me, once it starts getting easier, you are on a one way trip down to a very, VERY dark place and I would hate to someday meet you there."

Now that got a reaction from her. She craned her head to look at me as if I'd just told her that Unicorns are real... well, provided we were still back on Earth, at least.

"They're not human." she said firmly.

"Well, yeah, but still. How would you feel if some aliens showed up all of a sudden and decided they liked to eat people?"

"It's not... ugh," she groaned. "Alright, I guess I can see what you're trying to say, but I can't just up and consider them people. It doesn't work like that!"

"So work at it," I said simply. She looked up at me questioningly. "Since you're being a good sport, I'll admit that not everybody can just put a bunch of colorful cartoon creatures on the same standing as people, but Jackie," I paused, taking a second to mull over my next words. "You're not going home anytime soon. I know that's probably not what you want to hear, but it's the truth. For better or worse, you're gonna be here a while. If not in my universe, then the one I pulled you from and whatever it was that happened... at some point you're going to have to learn to trust and live alongside the creatures who live here, because if you think that it's acceptable to do what you did to those yaks then... you're not going to be happy, and your life will become so much harder. Is that something you want?"

"...No."

In spite of myself, I couldn't help but pet her messy mop of hair. "Well, give it a try. Trust me, not all of the ponies are all bad."

She mumbled something, too low for me to hear.

"What's that?"

"I'm not sure how to do that. The ponies I know... well, I've pretty much done everything in my power to make them miserable."

"Let me guess, the Mane Six?" She nodded and I sighed. "Yeah... I do so love them little ponies but they can be hard to get along with. Well, from what other universes I've heard about, it seems. But I can tell you this much, squirt. Ponies are creatures of harmony. Most of them, anyway. I'm sure that if you take a step forward and do what you can to mend things between them, they're bound to accept you sooner or later. It's in their nature."

"That's... way harder than you make it sound."

"Baby steps, girl. Baby steps. Nothing worth doing is ever easy, after all. So long as you get there, that is all that matters. And who knows, if you give the little ponies a chance, you might just find that you like them in turn."

"Yeah. Maybe..."

She shuffled closer to me. I could feel her shoulder just barely brush against mine and she tightening her hold on her share of the blanket and doing her best to bury herself beneath it.

"Well, I don't know about you," I said after a few minutes of comfortable silence. "But I could go for a drink right now."

"A drink?"

"Any kind of alcohol, really. Gets you warmed up all nice. That's hit the spot."

"Hmm." She drew out a hand from underneath the blanket and 'force pulled' a bottle of... wouldn't you know it, honey mead right from the yaks' belongings.

A weak yet hearty chuckle came up in me as I took the unmistakable bottle and opened it, the heavy and rich smell of fermented honey blasting into my nose. "Wohohoo, praise fucking Odin, I would recognize this stuff everywhere. Honey mead, nectar of the Norse Gods!"

After nearly dropping the damn bottle because another wave of pain shot through my arm, I brought the bottle to my lips and let the smooth alcohol flow into my mouth and straight down my throat. The effect was instantaneous as warmth began to flood my cheeks and radiate in my stomach.

A long, blissful sigh escaped my lips. "Now that´s the stuff. That´s mead!" I gave another of my patented and ice breaking impersonations that usually went over everyone's heads. Then, my glance fell on Jackie. She had retreated back into Blanket Town, not really leaning onto me but not trying to worm her way out either. So far so good, now how to proceed? Ah! I held to bottle out to Jacqueline, after whipping every residue I might have left of. "Hey, how about you take a sip too? Tastes really good and gives you the warm fuzzies too. Not that I would encourage underage drinking but fuck the rules. Let´s call this New Year."

I held the bottle out to her. She looked from me to the thing and back again and shrugged. "Sure, why not," and took a sip. She swirled the beverage in her mouth before swallowing, a sour look on her face.

"Hey now, don't be telling me any of that 'it tastes bad' tripe. This is mead, girl, not some fruity French wine. You don't savor it, you guzzle it and taste it with the throat. That's the way to do it. Go on, give it another try."

It looked like she wanted to protest against this, but whether it was latent pity for me or whatever, she gave it another go, guzzling down a hearty amount and almost immediately, she almost choked on it. I patted her on the back for a job well done until she recovered and asked. "How was it?"

A number of little coughs still wracked her body and her eyes watered. Still, she answered, "Not... not that bad, really."

"Atta girl." I smiled, taking the bottle back for another swig. "You know, I just wondered where these Yaks got the honey for their booze. Bees don´t live in snowy regions. Hmm, maybe there´s a city closer by than we thought? Anyways..." I let my rambling linger a bit, just listening to the crackling of the fire and Jackie´s and my own breathing.

"There... hic... there is a place close to here. I saw it."

"Really?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "That's why I went out. The yaks marked some landmarks close to here and I used those to kinda get around. There's a city like... I dunno, ten miles away from here?"

My body was already in the throes of a pleasant buzz. Still, it wasn't enough to dredge up a bit of concern in me. "Thirty miles... yeah, us Europeans use the metric system, but isn't ten miles like, a lot?"

"Yeah," she said. "But... how are we gonna get you there, I mean..."

I scoffed. "Girl, don't you worry about that. Just tell me, can we make the trip? I got an crazy idea already that should get us into walking distance. There is a lot of snow out there, so going by foot is more or less suicide and I don´t feel like dying. Again. So my plan is that we do it like the Inuit and travel by sleigh. Only thing we need is to throw together said sleigh, I provide us with the much needed MS." After receiving a confused blink from Jaqueline I added a very helpful 'Minion Strengths'.

"Minion Strengths?"

"'Course, girl. Don't you remember? I'm basically a gender bent Overlord and with that comes the very handy ability to summon murderous little kobolds who will happily carry out my every whim."

"...Right."

"Now, in an ideal setting we would have access to some sled dogs or maybe even reindeer, but seeing how we're in short supply, my Minions will provide the necessary, uh, Minion-power to get us through the snow and close enough to the city you saw. "

"There's still a problem. We don't have a sleigh."

"So we'll throw one together," I said dismissively. "I have read enough survival guides to know that for a basic model, we only need some wood or bone for the frame, something to tie shit together and pelts or skins or canvas to span it over the frame. And seeing as we are sitting in a nifty little bandit's hole, we should barely have enough mats for one or two tries."

"Right," she drawled. "Are you a carpenter or engineer too? Because I wouldn't even know where to start."

"Stop being so negative, girl!" I did rather poorly in keeping my frustration down. "Sheesh, even Wednesday Adams looks like a little Miss Sunshine next to you. No offense. And no, I am not but I worked with enough wood to know the basics and a frame is not that hard to make and if push comes to shove, we just let the Minions build the thing. I mean, they built most of the stuff for my Tower... on a second thought, I´d say we just let the Minions build the sleigh right away to prevent waste of material and time." I looked around, groaning in frustration as all the Ley Lines I could spy where to small to spawn a Minion Portal. "Now all I need is a good spot in the Ley Lines to call my little helpers... come on..." I made to stand up, eager to carry out my scheme and get out of this frozen pit. Of course, I momentarily forgot I was still pretty banged up after that little meteor impression the other day.

Ok, so our plan would have to wait a bit. In the meantime, my new friend spent the time getting ready to head out. Girl insisted I rest and take it easy, for come next day, I would have the strength needed to endure the harsh winter conditions.

Snow was melted down for water, foodstuffs were rationed, packed and double checked. Heck, girl even managed to turn those funky smelling blankets into pseudo coats, basically cutting openings in the waist and necklines so that at least it clung, however loosely, to our bodies.

And of course, what food the yaks did have now ran out. I... might be to blame for that. In using my Mana flow to accelerate my body's healing process I needed quite a bit of calories and energy, not to mention my body already churning like crazy through them due to the cold. Jackie set out into the snow and came back a few hours later with a lump draped atop her shoulder. It was after she came into view and let the bulge drop that I realized it was a freaking seal!

But before I could make any objections known, the girl quickly assured me it was a normal animal and in no way sapient. When I asked she said that in order to confirm, she, quote 'smacked it around a little' and when it didn't talk she was satisfied enough that it would serve as a food source. And, well, we did kind of need it, or else risk death. A-and it did taste pretty good I had admit. Still... I couldn't help but feel a bit guilty but mostly because I was a enormous sucker for cute, little baby seals.

In any case, we hung out, we ate and chatted about random topics and sure enough, I healed and gathered enough strength to make our little trip in earnest. Also, I managed to gather enough snippets about Jackie's weird ass magic powers to come to an not unimportant part of our plan.

Disguises.

Seeing as there was a sum on my head, I could not nilly willy waltz into a settlement and now less then ever with an undisguised Jackie in tow. Heavens and Hell might know what that girl might do when someone tried to get the bounty on my head with her caught in the crossfire.

Nope, time to practice Overlord Rule number eleven 'Deception can sometimes wield greater results than running headfirst into a problem. And even than, Violence is always a viable second option.'

"Sooo Jackie, I´ve been thinking," I started while watching her bundle up the last parts of our traveling rations "And I might have encountered a wee lil´ problem. See, due to some unsavory cultural discrepancies, it is not wise for me to show my handsome face to Ponies. Or anyone who could be a Bounty Hunter. Thing is, once we are to enter the city, I will use a spell to alter my form into that of a midget candy horse but I would be willing to bet my favorite panties that you can't do something similar, which would leave us in quite the conundrum."

"So, what, you want to turn me into one of them?"

"We do need to blend in, ya know?" I said, trying to be rational. "Or would you rather every pony from here to Los Pegasus know there's a human girl running around? Besides, it would not be me to 'turn' you into a pony, it would be you for I would teach you the spell."

She sighed, head hung in resignation. "Fine, turn me if you must. Not like I haven't done it before."

I blinked in surprise. "Oh, you have? Turn into a pony, I mean? How was it?"

"It was great," she said mockingly. "I hung out with Twilight and Rarity, ate some grub, went for a spa session... and oh yeah, some muscle headed Neanderthal nearly split me in half. All fun," she finished with a snarl. I chuckled uneasily. At some point I probably should ask just why it is that she seems to harbor such animosity for cute, fluffy little ponies. But that will have to wait for later. Good as it might be to know, getting out of this icebox took precedence.

"Well, this spell I'm gonna teach you is rather basic, an Illusion not unlike those Ninja techniques from Naruto, you know? All you have to do is to concentrate on your Mana and will it to coat your whole body or at least the parts you wish to mask. The feeling should be like a warm and toasty blanket encompassing you. If you feel that, you can proceed to form the disguise. You need to envision what you want to look like, the more details you get down on the first try the better. Envision how you want to look, how your voice should sound, the sounds of your steps, how you want to feel... fuck, even how you want to smell or taste. You can change some details to the spell later but it is more difficult. If you have all this down, let the spell go and it should create the Illusion for you but it can only work with what is there, meaning you can for example look like a guy but no matter how good you are, you will miss a very important piece of anatomy that will just stay a intangible phantasm. This spell is really useful and you can create dozens of disguises with it. But I have to warn you though, the first few uses can be rather taxing but from what I felt when I tried to prevent the Multiverse from going kablooey, your Mana reserves are way, waaaaay larger than mine so you should be fine." I did my best to explain the important bits of the spell to Jackie. "Did you understood that so far?"

"Sure. Let's get this over with."

I did what I could to help the girl. Turns out, she's not all that bad at magic. Of course, this ponification did not go smoothly right away. The first four times or so she did a passable imitation of being constipated as she tried to get the illusion to take place, basically the magical equivalent of using a rocket powered sledgehammer when instead she should have gone for the hammer and chisel. After correcting her, progress was made. She managed to turn her hands into hooves and her head turned into an admittedly creepy hybrid of pony and human. Good thing we didn't have any mirrors or anything of the like, for the girl would have surely freaked out. Anyway, fast forward a couple of hours later and in front of me stood a white unicorn pony with a black mane. An almost perfect transformation, save that her ears were still those of a human. Oh, well, good enough.

We were as prepared as could be now and so I donned my armor, we strapped on the cloaks and set out to find a suitable ley line in which to summon my Minions.

At this point I made the mental note to offer a generous sacrifice to whoever invented the whole mechanic behind my Ley-o-Vision, for one could have thought that a blanket of snow deep enough to reach up to half of my calves would be enough to hide something as delicate as a magical flow of universal life energy but no siree, it was shining bright and easily visible. At least to me.

After we hiked a good bit, I finally managed to spot what I was looking for. Not wasting any more time, seeing as my toes had stopped complaining over the cold already, I raised my hand and with a bit more force than necessary opened a portal for my Browns, resulting in a geyser-like eruption of snow and ten happily gibbering kobolds.

"Jackie, my Minions. Minions, say Hi to Jaqueline. She´s a new friend, no food." I introduced my loyal, little mavens of mayhem to my newest human friend, who stared at the kobolds with interest. The Minions on their part gave their usual, enthusiastic and incomprehensible greetings.

"Now fellas, I need you build a sleigh big enough to carry me and Jackie here. Materials are in a cave nearby and after you are done with that, you ten will get to play in the snow for a bit."

Without waiting for the given confirmation, I turned back to the cave with Jackie in tow, my Minions being themselves, bounding through the snow with absolute glee despite being decked in their heavy armor and wielding their various weapons.

Back in the cave, I let go a internal sigh of relief as the Minions immediately went to work, gathering materials from everywhere to do my biding. Would I not have known better, I would have felt tempted to compare my murderous little monsters with the Brownies from folklore.

Capable as they were with murder, pillaging and mayhem, the kobolds could now place carpenter on their resume, for they made good use of whatever wood lay around the cave. Crates, barrels and what looked like it might have been a cart at one point were broken down and repurposed as the sleigh slowly took form. It was all going smoothly until one of the elves... ah, I mean Minions, wandered about to search for more materials and yelled out 'Food!' This prompted the rest of the Minions to abandon their duties as they went over to investigate and to my horror, after following them, they were indeed making a feast of the slain yaks, happily tearing chucks of meat with nothing more than their claws and brute force and stuffing themselves silly.

Fighting through the nausea, I clapped my hands and bid them to get back to work under perjury of gruesome death. Damn it, I couldn't even get too angry at them, for this kind of behavior, I realized somberly, was simply part of their nature.

Things progressed from there and my Minions completed the mismatched sleigh, proudly standing around their contraption. Hell, somehow they even managed to give that thing carvings to decorate it and a crudely fashioned Minion face was grinning the usual insane grin as some kind of figurehead.

Respect were it was due. "Alright, time to get out of this Ninth Circle for the poor, Minions, strap up! And Jackie, take a seat." I commanded and sat down on the sleigh myself. Again I came to realize that my Minions did a swell job as they somehow cobbled little, cushioned seats together which where frankly a delight after sitting on hard stone for a while.

As she made to comply to my request, she suddenly gave a yelp and her hand shot to the back of her collar.

"Everything okay squirt?"

Fishing something out of her shirt Jackie gave a annoyed grunt "Just a piece of ice. Must have fallen down from the ceiling or something. Hate when something like this happens."

Flicking the offending piece of frozen water away, Jackie grumbled a bit more and went over to the sleigh and not a second later, a icicle easily as big as one of my legs on the ceiling became loose and with the sound of a whole house worth of breaking glass, came crashing down just where my grumpy friend had stood not a moment earlier.

I for my part was sure my heart stood still as I had all the Final Destination flashbacks but thankfully Jackie just shrugged in a 'Oh wow, that sure was close or whatever' manner, seemingly not phased in the slightest.

Jackie went to sit behind me but I made sure to have her in front of me if I could not have her next to me. I had to more or less coerce her to sit there, like a little child would between the outstretched legs of a parent or a older sibling just before they would zip down a hill on a bob. The fact that she grumbled something under her breath made it even more fitting.

Seeing as the Minions had all strapped themselves in harnesses, I scooted a bit closer to Jackie after I secured a slightly musty scarf around my face and put my arms around her, to which she only mildly protested, much to my surprise.

"Alright Minions, mush!" I commanded and the wacky ride began.

For the fact that the snow was nearly as high as the Minions were tall, the little guys made ground impressively, combining their seemingly endless energy for one single goal, namely getting their Ruler to the next city in record time.

I admit, it was a bit frightening and at the same time intriguing to see. Ideas and plans came nearly automatically to my mind as I let my eyes wander over the white in white landscape, powdery snow swirling up around the sleigh.

If ten Minions were capable of effortlessly pulling a two person sleigh through deep snow, what would twenty Browns be able to do? Or thirty? Fifty? One hundred? I may just have to test this out at some point.

Regardless, the weather was as good as could be. The blizzard had long since died down and the clouds parted to reveal a silvery sun on the horizon. My Minions mushed, untired and unrelenting and as we traversed the all encompassing blanket of white, I was eventually able to spot in the distance some very distinct shapes. Buildings and houses and more than a few flickering lights of orange signifying a fire.

Grinning broadly, I took the Minions' reigns and hollered at the raving kobolds to 'giddy on up', the Minions happily complying as the city grew closer and closer.

Feeling the warm sensation of mirth rising up in my chest again, caused by the lovely little sleigh trip that so reminded me of my childhood I let out a long and hearty laugh, doing my best impression to sound like jolly old Nick but judging from the way Jackie turned her head to look at me, I would be willing to say all I managed to do was an, at best lacking, impersonation of the Grinch.

But before I was able to say something, anything really, things went downhill.

Literally.

Guess in their boundless enthusiasm (at one point they even started to sing what I only presumed to be a version of 'Rudolf the red nosed Reindeer'), my Minions had managed to overlook a pretty big dip in the landscape and the realization only hit them as at least seven of them were already sailing through the crisp air with loud exclamations of inane joy.

I for my part, well, I opted for an all time classic, screaming "Ohhh shiiiiiiiiii~" on top of my lungs while I tightened my grip on Jackie, who cursed audibly as she too fell prey to gravity.

Luckily, our fall was cut short but that changed nothing about the fact that mid-fall, Jackie and I were thrown out of the sleight, left to sail face first into the cold but thankfully soft snow below.

Cold white encompassed me as I flailed around in order to free myself out of the snow, looking without a doubt like a picture for the gods themselves while doing so.

Finally managing to emerge victorious from my struggle with the frozen fluff, I looked at the crash site.

The sleigh was sticking out of the snow nearly vertical, our supplies lay scattered around and my Minions were sticking out of the snow in various ankles, some buried face down to their hips, with their feet flailing in the air while other stamped neat cut-outs in the snow, only the tips of their ears showing where they came down and yet some others somehow had managed to turn a nearby pile of snow into a Minion pin-cushion, with their bodies as pins. All in all, it looked hilariously, making me nearly forget that I almost pissed myself a moment ago.

"Well, that's one way to stop," I muttered to myself.

"You idiot. You could have killed us!" Jackie's voice hissed from somewhere behind me. Yup, there she was, frantically trying to swat away the snow that covered pretty much all of her.

"Relax, girl," I said offhandedly. "I got us this far, didn't I? And look, there's the city you saw on that there map, now let's get on up and move. I dunno about you, but I could go for a hot drink and a warm bed right about now."

Her expression softened somewhat at the prospect, though she still kept on giving me the stink eye. Finding a nearby ley line, I opened the portal and sent my Minions back, with instructions to relay to Onyx and Gnarl that I was still alive and whole and would probably need a couple of more days until I could gather enough strength to 'port back to the tower.

"A'right, Jackie, ready to experience high life as a pony?" I said and clapped my hands cheerfully. Calling to the Mana reserves within me, the illusion spell took hold until I was well and truly ponified. The brat still stood there, but a pointed look on my part got her ass going and soon enough, she too transformed into a pony.

"See now, there's more like it. Are you ready to go?" She nodded and so on we went, towards the settlement that would provide a safe haven from the elements. And preferably booze and a warm bed.

But most importantly, booze.

Author's Notes:

Wowie, that chapter sure was something huh?

Umbra kicked the idiot-ball like a pro, Jackie demonstrated that she is easily the more mature one of the dynamic duo, a rather unsavory massacre on poultry, ehrm, yaks with a following BBQ Lecter style.

Tune in next time again when The Overlady and The heartless Renegade make their way into the windy snowy city. What trials will they face? Whose lifes will they ruin? Will anybeing notice the flaw in Jackie´s disguise? Will I ever shut the fuck up? Propably not but still, tune in next time esteemed readers. Same place, same space.