Chapter 1- After Ten Thousand years...

The ponies are an evil that must be annoyed it's true. Though not as evil as the birds... damnable feathered fiends, I thought to myself. I only read that on a wiki, I'm not even sure if that was a movie or a game.... damn, this power can be annoying at times. But it's sure as hell entertaining.

I 'looked' out to see if today was the day, for what felt like the one millionth time.... that day. But I didn't see a certain group of fillies or colts patrolling the statue gardens just yet, so I just 'sighed' to myself lamenting that I lost count on day 35,984.

Until I heard some arguing to my left.

"-ou a dictionary?"

Ah, that'd be the chicken.

For some reason or another I missed the group of fillies being led about by a single pinkish purple mare. They had been able to get to Discord's statue without my noticing their progression. I suppose that after a thousand years or so of imprisonment could dull a sharp mind.

Still, even though my mind might be little more than a measly shiv, it's quite effective when applied to the jugular.

"Confusion!"

"Evil!"

"Chaos!"

"It's not chaos you dodo!"

Ooh, ouch Sweetie, I mean you know your friend can't fly. What the hell's wrong with you?

I let them continue with their argument, paying more attention to the statue, knowing what was going to come next. Discord's statue began to glow purple in the center as the ponies moved on followed by a crack forming. But then the ponies came in front of my pedestal.

"So, my little ponies, can anyone tell me what they think this is a statue of?" Cheerilee asked her gathered class, "With no arguing this time?" she added, staring pointedly at the crusaders.

"It looks silly."

"Pretty weird."

"Why's it look like it's dancing?"

"I just don't get it...."

"Whatever it is, it's ugly, so it really doesn't matter does it?" Hmphed the small pale pink filly in towards the middle of the crowd.

Bitch, I'll cut you.

Cheerilee sighed at Diamond Tiara's remark but continued, "Well you're all right in a way, this statue here is a representation of an old legend in Equestria. A menace that went around spreading confusion and havoc. Most called it King Folly or Manic."

I groaned internally.

That's not even the name I chose for myself, why does Celestia feel the need to name things..... And lie. No wonder she lost the elements, honesty is NOT her forte.

When the group was done gawking and proceeded deeper into the garden a good distance a resounding crack was heard, bringing my gaze back to the now former statue of Discord.

The draconequus stretched, moaning snapping his claws, rearranging the statues near him into more comedic poses.

"Ahh, good to stretch the old bones." He begins to shake one of his mismatched legs, followed by it falling off and hopping about.

Hey! Q! Heeey!

One of his ears perks up and he turns to face me "What's this?"

He presses his face closer to my own stony visage.

"Well, well, well. I heard about you!" He said somewhat amused, "Imprisoned by the princesses a bit after my falling through on the whole," he rotated his paw around his wrist, literally, in a full three hundred sixty degree circle, "reign of chaos thing I had going."

Yeah, yeah. Whatever, just lemme outta here before you get imprisoned again, I said trying to get him to hurry it up.

Discord leaned back his eyes widening a bit, feigning shock.

"Me? Back in that stone prison?" He snorted, "I think not. I, my petrified friend, have a plan."

Which won't amount to bupkiss, I deadpanned.

Discord was about to retort, but I cut him off before he could. Listen, I've got a proposition, and it's a win-win for you. Put a spell on the statue to release me if you get caught again. I'm pretty chaotic myself and I could maybe break you out again. Otherwise, keep me as a statue forever, if you do succeed. Hell, feel free to gloat in front of me for decades for winning.

Discord stroked his long gangly goatee, mulling it over.

"Hmmmm, very well!" He snapped his fingers.

I sighed internally. Finally! I'm almost home free.

"Unlikely, my avian feces coated friend! Now if you'll excuse me, I have some beautiful chaos to wreak! I'll come back for you later, you'll make a wonderful lawn gnome."

He snapped his fingers and disappeared in a flash, the leg that had been removed from his body earlier, and had been hopping about disappeared as well after a few seconds.

Well, nothing to do now but sing old cartoon themes songs.

Life is like a hurricane, here in duckburg.

-His brain's overloading, it has a chocolate coating. Textbook case for Sigmund Freud, Freakazoid, Freakazoid.

Really, cartoon theme songs for hours in my head. One would think that they'd get bored of that after centuries of the same-old shpiel. But hey, different strokes for different folks, right?

He's here to save the nation, so stay tuned to this station. If not, we'll be unemployed, Freakazoid, Freakazoid. Freakazoid!

As if almost on cue a bright light shown somewhere in the distance, a blinding white flash expanded towards the garden, overtaking all of Canterlot.

Finally, now I can.... move....... again....... Oh, LUNA'S TIDAL MAREHEAT! REALLY?!

For whatever reason I still couldn't break out of my stony prison. Maybe it was because Discord's magic was nullified by a blast of the orbital friendship cannon, or it could have been due to Discord wishing to fuck around with me, really any of the two were likely.

What I wouldn't give for a branch of yore right now.

Sighing internally I resigned myself to never be set free again, or to the more likely event, at the most inopportune time possible.

.........Sonic, he can really move. Sonic, he's got an attitude.

Stay shisou na imeeji wo someta gikochinai tsubasa demo. Kitto toberu sa on my love.

Yes, even Japanese songs. When you've spent as long as I have in a single space without moving you tend to go through every tid-bit of knowledge you know to stave off the boredom.

About a day and half had passed already, by now the mane six had most likely went through their episode IV routine and were probably heading back to Ponyville via train soon. I, meanwhile, had a few guards and staff standing in front of me cleaning up after the bit of the celebration that had happened outside.

When, as was predictable, my prison began to crack, drawing the attention of the ponies in front of me.

Welp. Better make a good first impression.

As the stone blasted off of me, I got into a crouching position as soon as I could while the dust from the resulting explosion still covered me.

When the dust finally cleared I rose up waving my arms as a kick-ass electric guitar started playing from nowhere. I was now decked out in a weird orange poofy dress, with the Madona spike bra over my torso. My hair was now gray and shaped into two separate horns coming off of either side of my head, held together by some brown cloth. I was holding a staff in my left hand that had a crescent moon with a red gem lodged towards the middle of the moon. My face hadn't changed of course, it was still that same blank green of the skin suit I had fashioned and donned for myself after the ponies pissed me off to no end. But that's a story for another chapter.

"Ahh!" I sighed out in a corny raspy woman's voice. "After ten thousand years I'm free!" Yes, I was taking liberties, so sue me. "It's time to conquer Equestria!" I pointed towards the moon, making all the ponies stare at me confusedly. I held the pose for maybe another fifteen seconds before I tilt my body a bit pointing at the castle.

Don't know why, but this causes all the ponies to flee, including the guards, which I'm hoping were just fresh recruits, otherwise things would get boring.

Jumping off my pedestal, my clothes shift back to normal, the staff disappearing. As I hit the ground I'm back to my standard black-and-white checkered suit with a red tie hanging down over my white button up shirt. Atop my head sat my wonderful piece of headgear that was so fine that Gaben himself could only dream to create a mere facsimile of it in his hat simulator. That, and count to three......... Okay it was a fedora, but hey it completed the look, and when done right can actually work with an outfit.

Spotting the guards heading into the castle, as I brushed off some of the gravel on my shoulder, I suspected that they were most likely headed to the oh so royal Sun-butt to report my my escape.

"Meh, let's see what the mane six are doing," I shrugged nonchalantly.

One way or another an encounter with Celestia and Luna would happen, might as well make them work for it instead of rushing things along.

I curled up my right hand into a familiar gesture, webbing shot out my wrist and hit one of the towers and attached itself while I leaped off the ground and used the newly formed pseudo rope/vine to swing towards the train station as a tune began to play.

"Dat animation."

Author's Notes:

Right, first chapter's done. Not sure where I'm going with this but we'll see the general response. Also updates will most likely NOT be regular. Due to life, school, and me being a grade-A lazy fuck.