Dear Diary,

The days are blending together more and more. I am now locked between moments of happiness and long stretches of uncertainty and fear…

“I’m sorry about what happened,” I said. Luna had created what appeared to be her favorite environment for these dreams; the Canterlot throne room. “I was woken up. Rather rudely too. You should talk to Twilight about that.”

The last line was delivered with a smirk. She just nodded in response, which made me kinda glad. I wouldn’t have been much encouraged if she had just rolled her eyes or scoffed. She probably should have, since I was joking about the rude part, but that was immaterial.

“It is of no concern. One must simply accept that people will wake up unexpectedly if one is to approach them in this manner.”

It could have been me, but she seemed almost relieved when she said it was of no concern. That was odd. Not being annoyed by it would be one thing, but relief? Why? Had the question I tried to ask upset her? And, if it had, was that more because of it being a possible false allegation, or that there was some truth to it? Bah, there my mind went again. Why did I think these things about Luna?

“I’m glad you’re not upset,” I smiled. “And the question I wanted to ask would have been rude. Forgive me, it is sometimes hard to tell the difference between the dreams like this and the ones who are just dreams.”

“I gladly forgive you. I too understand this difficulty. I have been asked such questions many a time, from less respectful subjects.”

“Subject?” I couldn’t stop myself from blurting it out. It struck a wrong note in me to be addressed as such. Then again, an actual monarchy was rather strange to me too. Technically I had lived under a royal line back home, but effectively they were not rulers. They were glorified figureheads, with little real power and certainly no practical grounds for calling anyone their subjects. Maybe on paper, but paper is thin and easily torn. Or maybe I was just overthinking it. To Luna, I was sure my experience with monarchy was as strange to her as hers was to me.

“Am I not a princess of this land, in your eyes?”

“Sorry, it’s just… I’m not from here. I’m not used to this sort of thing. We elect people to represent us, based on popular vote, along the lines of certain rules that are not allowed to be broken.”

“Truly? How does such a system fare?”

“It’s only as good as the people voted into power,” I shrugged. “I guess it is the same as a monarchy in that regard: It all comes down to the people in charge.”

“You must share more of this system should everything return to normal. I speculate it could be an interesting social experiment. Perhaps it even would work better than our current system. Or perhaps people would simply vote for my sister regardless. I would be hard pressed to describe their attitude towards her as anything but worshipful.”

“You sound a little bitter about that,” I noted, hoping I didn’t cross a line.

“I love my sister with all my heart, but I will never let myself be blinded again. Not by the Beast and not by her. Nor will I lie about who she is.”

“And would you feel okay with telling me who your sister really is?”

“I think you have earned that right,” Luna sighed. Getting up from the throne, she changed the scene around us. We were in a large courtyard; similar to the one I had seen in Canterlot. In front of us was Celestia and behind us were masses of people. There was a statue of a hollow sun, in two dimensions, behind her. As the real sun entered it from the perspective of the crowd, they fell to their knees. Luna darkened the skies and unmade all the people except the two of us. “My sister loves to be the ruler of the people. She sometimes shows signs of not wanting to be treated as a goddess, but she could change that at any time she wanted. She could simply stop exploiting the public’s infatuation with her at every opportunity. By not making the Summer Sun Celebration to such a spectacle. By not dressing and living in such a way that it reinforces her authority and perceived divinity. And her rewri- uh… never mind.”

“And what about you?” Never mind what? Had she been about to say ‘rewriting’? If so, was it the same as what Sombra had talked about?

“I once wished I had the hearts of the people. It led me to the Beast. When I returned I was glad to be free of it. I tried to become more, what is the word? Humble? Not sure. I tried to become more appealing to the masses, make friends who did not see my crown, with some success. I withdrew from that when it just made me more like my sister in their eyes. If she would let me, I would leave all the nonsense of royalty behind and return to the Everfree Castle to do what must be done far away from the praise of commoners. I do not want it. I- I’m so sorry; I shouldn’t have gone on like that. You must think me foolish…”

“No, I would never think that foolish,” I barely let her finish her sentence before I broke in. “Not wanting to be treated as a goddess… I’d rather call it humility than foolishness. And humility is admirable. Well, I think it is.”

“You’re being too kind. Perhaps being the Beast taught me something useful after all. A lesson to pass on to Cadence and Twilight, though Twilight hardly needs my help avoiding such a path. Little Miss Perfect. Apologies, that was beneath me.”

“Why do you call her that?” I found the phrase partially strange to hear, but also a bit fitting. It had struck me that something like that could be said about her. I didn’t think Twilight was actually perfect, in part because I didn’t even know what that would mean for me. However, I could certainly understand the sentiment if she lived up to someone else’s idea of perfection.

“I- jealousy, I am ashamed to admit. Even sharing my station, she has remained more… common, in the view of the people. I either induce cheerful fawning or fear wherever I go and am recognized. Forgive me: I have said too much. If you would allow it, I would like to be alone for a while. I have things I need to rethink.”

I gave her a nod. I thought I had some insight into how she felt. Something about it all made me think that she had carried these thoughts inside her for a long time, and now they had emerged because someone were willing to listen and did not put much expectations on who she should be. There was no flash of light or anything when she left; she just faded away.

With a heavy sigh, I was about to try to end this dream, yet something nagged at the back of my head. Perhaps it would be best if I spoke to him, if for no other reason than to let him think that I did not control the summoning.

“Sombra,” I mumbled. The effect was immediate; the man appeared in a flash of purple and black.

“You don’t sleep much, do you?” I shook my head in response. Sombra, as I expected, took a look around at the darkness and scoffed, before he changed it to his own throne room. He took a seat on the throne. “I am pleased you had the time to sleep now. It is my pleasure to be the bearer of good news.”

“Good for me, or for you?”

“Both, assuming you still have not solved your problems. I have located the Shard that was activated.”

“And you couldn’t do that before because…?”

“For the very simple reason that I have no grasp of the world as it does not pertain to the Heart’s power in this… shadow of a life. That is to say, I can always feel their magic once they have been activated, but not where they are. Except now; the Shard is in the Crystal Empire. Someone with access to the castle would be my guess, perhaps the Usurper herself. I have felt it come near the… shall we say, place of my rebirth.”

“So the castle in the Crystal Empire is the key to bring you back, and now someone has brought the Shard there. I see, that’s… maybe it is good news, but I’m on the fence about helping you. Why should I? You’ve already threatened those close to me.”

“A threat? Hardly. A threat is meant to alter behavior through the concept of avoidable use of force, physical or otherwise, in the future. What I am saying is that when our mutual enemy is taken care of, I will take back what is mine. And there is nothing you can do to convince me not to. Hence it is not a threat, just a courtesy of letting you know what you are getting involved with.”

“And why should I take your help then, if you’re just going to create more problems for me?”

The man smirked. “Feel free not to. But as I’ve said before: You’re not giving me much reason to think you have any choice left. From where I stand, it seems very much like the options available are to lose the Crystal Empire to me, or to lose everything. I am certain you will see the lesser evil in time. If not, I will simply bid my time for my return and deal with the issue then. Now I bid you farewell.”

As he disappeared, I felt a mixture of hatred and despair. So casually had he just stood by what he intended to do, about the fact that he would take back the Crystal Empire and perhaps even kill Twilight in the process. Yet, like I had contemplated many times before, it really didn’t seem like there were any choice left to take. What would it take to convince Twilight not to stand against him? She had beaten him before, when he did not know her, but now that he did?

“Cer’Lola,” I said. I needed to talk to her again, to ask her a question.

“What is it?” she seemed wary of the place around us. “You spoke to the Betrayer. What did he say?”

“Nothing he hadn’t already. I just need to know how powerful he really is.”

“I will try to explain,” she ushered in an empty void, complete blackness, around me. In front of me a figure started to form, which I recognized to be Twilight’s mark, but the colors were wrong. It was venom green and dark purple. Another one in blue and gold appeared to its left, and another matching Twilight’s colors to its right. “These are the known Marks of Magic in our history. Twilight Sparkle, Starswirl the Bearded and, you probably guessed it, Sombra.”

Only the green and purple Mark remained as the others faded. In it, I could see the shadows of a man fighting two Alicorn, holding his own for the time being.

“There is no limit to the potential of such a Mark that is known. My sister and I believe that one-day, Miss Sparkle will surpass us, just as Sombra did. In our battle it became clear to me that individually, neither of us could have bested him. If he cannot be stopped before he regains his strength, there may not be a way to banish him again. I will not return to the world of the living for hundreds of years, and neither Twilight nor Cadence are powerful enough to help Celestia bring him down.”

“But Twilight beat him once already,” I pointed out, almost in desperation. When I realized I was trying to find a justification to bring him back, it sent a chill up my spine.

“In a manner of speaking. She and her friends charged the energies of the Crystal Heart, which allowed Cadence to banish him once more.”

“What about the Elements?”

“It is possible, I admit. The Elements are indeed powerful beyond comparison. Yet I do not feel confident they would be enough to stop our dear Betrayer. The Elements are unreliable; they will only be of use to those chosen to wield them. And they have only become more so with time. Once my sister commanded the Elements alone. They were a potent weapon in her hands. Now there are six bearers: take out any one of them and none can be used. This is how Discord nearly won. Only his own sense of humor and need for chaos allowed for his defeat. Sombra will not be foolish enough to simply drive them apart. Knowing him, he will ensure someone dies before they can turn on him.”

“And if we give him what he wants? What if we hand the Crystal Empire over to him, without a fight?”

“Then we can only prepare for the vengeance he has in store for us. My sister and I tried to kill him and failed. I doubt he will have forgotten.”

I nodded slowly. Yes, that was what I feared. Fight the Changelings without him now and most likely lose, or fight the changelings with him and most likely lose to him in the future. I sat down where I stood, burying my head in my hands. This was getting frustrating, trying to figure out which was the lesser evil.

“How are you feeling?” Luna put her hand on my shoulder. Sombra’s Mark disappeared and we were moved to an open clearing. The forest around us looked a lot like the Everfree. Above us the moon shone brightly.

“Just tired of this whole thing. If we can’t find a way to deal with this without the Betrayer, we’re not getting anything done. Lose now or lose later. Maybe we can get the Elements together again, but I have no clue where they are.”

“The Elements are in the Canterlot Vaults.”

“What!? Why didn’t you say so? Wait, how do you know?”

“Celestia put them there. Alas, I have no clue about the Bearers.”

“Oh, sorry, I-“ I swallowed and let out a sigh. “I’m sorry, I thought you meant that- I mistook what you meant with ‘Elements’.”

“It is forgiven. I understand your stress,” she took a seat beside me. I noted that she didn’t look right at me, but only onto the ground before us. “When Discord first took power, we too felt powerless. Only by seeking out the Elements could we amass the power to stop him. Before we had that power… Celestia and I often let our stress out on one another. It may have torn us asunder, had we not found a solution.”

“If Celestia once wielded the Elements, does that mean someone new, someone who are not the current Bearers, could master their power?”

“I truly do not know. The Elements are impossible for me to predict. Perhaps. Are you thinking of yourself?”

“Eh- why not?” I scratched the back of my head. “I’ve already gone from no magic to whatever the hell is going on with the amulet.”

“Indeed? I wish I knew. Certainty would be such a boon in these times.”

“Tell me about it,” I mumbled in return, not really directed at her. It was a strangely overused phrase, but I didn’t really know how else to put words to it: at least not shorthand. I wanted to change the topic a bit. All this doom and gloom just didn’t do it for me. “What was it like, before the Beast came? What was Equestria like?”

“Much like it is now. What I did not expect when I returned was that so much had remained the same. More interesting is the time before the Alicorn; a world we witnessed, but never thought us interested in. Before the time of the Crystal Empire there were no living gods. The earthen ones worshiped the Sun as a primal force. The Pegasi worshiped the Four Winds that carried them. And the Unicorn held no such beliefs, for they had been gifted with the power of magic.”

Around us I could see a representative member for each step forward, bland in their figure, yet distinct from the others in clothes and stature. The earthen one, as Luna had called them, was tall and broad in farmer’s clothes. The symbol of the Sun was featured prominently on the right side of his chest. The Pegasi wore light clothes, nothing covering the joints, with a large open section on the back. And, lastly, the Unicorn wore an elaborate robe in many colors, where purple and gold featured prominently. Without warning they were encased in ice.

“Then the Windigo came: terrible spirits of ice and death. Small were the chances the mortals would overcome such creatures, but they did. Their spirit was strong, noble.”

“That is when you and your sister intervened?” I asked. She gave me a clever smile.

“Yes, but not of my own will. You must understand, we had yet to become what we are now. I was the night, the veil that covered the world. The cold nights that took the lives of the foolish and the foolhardy. The Windigoes were not an affront to my being.”

“Then that means Celestia represented life and growth, yes?”

Luna nodded and the scene changed again. A great orb of fire fell from the skies and someone I recognized as Celestia thread out of it once it landed. Her skin was as I knew it, but her hair was flame. Day became night and a darkness enveloped Celestia. From it came Luna, jet black in color, with a mane of liquid frost.

“Living with a mortal body changed my perspective. I gained insights I had thought impossible in the struggles of life and death, the emotion of fear. It would not be untrue to claim I have changed a lot more since then than my sister has. Changed to be more like my sister than it would seem to you. If I were to be honest with you, I would look at my old self with fear. Even the Beast does not scare me as much as what I once was. From there the story is simple: Celestia took the old role as the Sun and became a living goddess. At her side I became the same, the deity of the Night. The people feared me and loved her. And the more I became like Celestia, the harder it was for me to accept the fear and denial of love.”