Dear diary,

As we all know, Nightmare Night is a tradition in Equestria for the foals to enjoy. When ponies grow older, they grow out of it and Nightmare Night is no longer for them. But thanks to my idiotic friends, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie, they have shown me (The hard way while I was doing something EXTREMELY serious!) that as long as you are a grown mare or stallion who acts like a foal, that doesn't mean dragon shit. What extremely serious thing was I desperately trying to do without those two pudding brains butting in? It was something that they chose the worst time to do their mischievous pranks on. But I'll get to that later. Unlike the rest of my silly adventures that I report my true feelings about into this diary, this escapade was at night.

The night started with me rushing around my bedroom, trying to put on my Star Swirl the Bearded costume as quickly and as carefully as I could, while the little inpatient purple penis I call a friend was moaning because we were late for Nightmare Night. Ugh. We were only five minutes late for Celestia's sake! He was just paranoid that he would miss out on all the candy. Spike should really lay off the candy, he already had seven large packets of jelly babies earlier that day. That dragon is putting on weight faster than Mrs Cake.

I finally trotted down stairs, making sure my costume was presentable, hoping Spike would acknowledge the detail and, of course, who the costume was meant to be. I reached the bottom pf the staircase. Unfortunately, he didn't acknowledge the detail and he didn't know who I was meant to be either. For some unknown reason, he thought I was dressed as a grumpy old pony in Ponyville retirement home. I didn't understand that. Why would I dress up as some random pony that nopony really knows, and another thing. I study Star Swirl all of the time. Most of the time I read out loud anyway, so there is no way he couldn't have picked up nothing. Is he really that bad of a listener. Oh no! Put his costume is "perfect!" You know what his costume was? A purple dragon. Not kidding. That's as far as his imagination goes. He has lived with me all of his life and he doesn't listen to me nor has his imagination expanded. I might get him tested after Nightmare Night. He isn't normal in the head. That stunt with the dead toy mouse and the ketchup as blood proves it. He could see the anger on my face, so when a knock came from the door, he used it for his advantage to get away from me.

When he opened the door, his plan backfired. Yes, he did get away from me, but he did get scared, so it wasn't really worth it. I kept my laughter inside, but it became harder to hold in the laughter when I approached the door to see what he had been scared by. It seems that I now know that apparently Spike is scared of Princesses, (Shame that he lives with a pony that regularly meets with them.) Astronauts and Lady Bugs. I greeted everypony and gave them a piece of candy each. They were happy with that one peace of candy. I thought of turning to Spike and saying, "See Spike, they're happy with one peace." But I thought I'd rather not because he was already angry about the "scare" he was given. I also saw Granny Smith, who was following the little fillies to make sure they were alright. She wasn't wearing a scary costume. Mainly because she didn't need one for the amount of scary wrinkles on her face. It will forever haunt my nightmares. But they were long wrinkles on her face. I started to wonder if she started shaking drastically when she was angry. An image of her shaking when she was shouting at Apple Bloom angrily came into thought, as she shook her head in anger, the wrinkles spinning and launching around her face like a spinning blade, soon going round fast enough that she could be lifted into the air with them. Strange thought. But weirdly funny. Maybe my mind needed to be tested as well.

A small colt popped out from behind the three fillies dressed as a pirate. Even the youngest of ponies had a better imagination as Spike. It was adorable, but the adorableness was disturbed by a squealing Pinkie Pie who pooped up from the ground dressed as a chicken, telling everyone to zip it. This is when I brought her age into it. I asked her if she was to old for this. She replied that you are never to old for free candy. I didn't get it. She get's free candy all of the time. She lives and works in a candy goods store. Anyway, after that, I showed her my costume, she loved it!.. But then thought I was a weirdo clown. Great! So now I'm a grumpy old pony and a weirdo clown too. No pony in this town knows anything about unicorn magic history. No wonder ponies in Canterlot see Ponyville as a place where the "unintelligent" ponies lived. Spike and I left the library with the chicken.

When Pinkie Pie vanished, I went on a rant about how my costume was hoof stitched. Spike then thought it was a great costume. That comment gave a smile to my face... That was until he called me "Gram-pa." Then that evil voice at the back of my head started shouting. Sometime tonight, I hoped that he would be scared and his body would go into shock.

Later on, on the way to the center of Ponyville where the Nightmare Night party was, I went on another rant about how nopony knew who Star Swirl the Bearded was. That was interrupted when Pinkie Pie returned, showing me all the candy that she had gotten. For some reason she ate like a chicken while in the costume too. Pecking, pecking and pecking at the sack of candy. She really was a filly in a mare's body. Even though she was a good friend, I wish I could get away from her sometimes.

Strangely, my wish was about to come true, thank's to Rainbow Dash who was dressed as a Shadowbolt. I didn't notice, but she brought a storm cloud over above Pinkie Pie and kicked it. This caused lightning to come and scare Pinkie Pie who ran away, screaming like she was going to lay an egg herself. Unintentionally, she done me another favor that I wanted to do. Scare Spike. Turns out, Rainbow Dash put Spike into shock. He fell over, lay on the ground, dropping all of his candy. All that time collecting it for nothing. Well, at least he can't eat it now and gain weight. I turned back to Rainbow Dash to tell her off for doing something mean. But she replied with, "This is the best night of the year for pranks!" Ugh. I could tell this would be a fun night.

Anyway, when Spike the Dragon, the so called fearsome fire breathing creature who was scared by ladybugs and Rainbow Dash, recovered, we went to see Applejack who was dressed as a scarecrow. I couldn't believe that she was so cheap sometimes that she made her costume out of table cloths and straw from Sweet Apple Acres. She polity said hello and complemented my costume, but for some reason, Spike thought she was complimenting his. Has he not gotten the message that his costume sucks because he's basically dressed as himself. I was hoping that she would know who I was dressed as, but what was I thinking. She's Applejack, not the smartest pony in Equestria. She thought I was a country music singer. So I was apparently a grumpy pony from Ponyville retirement home, a weirdo clown and a county music singer. What the buck is wrong with some ponies. I swear, all of the ponies (and Dragon) with low intelligence just become attracted to me and become my friends.

We got distracted in our conversation with Applejack when behind us, on the stage, was the mayor of Ponyville, hosting the Nightmare Night festival. She was dressed as a clown. How am I the weirdo clown and she's not. The mayor is weird even without the costume. She announced that we were going to follow Zecora into the forest to hear the story of Nightmare Moon. As she announced it, she tried to do a scary voice. Spike was thinking the same thing. The rainbow wig kills the scares. I couldn't help but giggle at that remark. Zecora appeared in green smoke, talking while she spoke in those weird rhymes again.

She took us into the Everfree Forest, to an old statue of Nightmare Moon. She started to tell the story and blew up some magic green dust into the air that formed an image of Nightmare Moon. This image came flying down with it's mouth wide open, to make it look like it was coming down to eat us. It was a brilliant trick, but as you could guess, Spike got scared. Ha, add that to the list of harmless stuff that the fearsome Dragon is scared of! The story went on to say that the only reason that we have Nightmare Night is because we need to dress up and gather candy, only to give some to Nightmare Moon, and if we don't, she'l come to eat us instead. It was a bit gruesome for a foals scary story. It seemed that Pinkie Pie was more scared than Spike. She ran up to the statue and gave it all of her candy. Apparently she believed it. It was confirmed. She defiantly was a filly in a mares body.

I was about to laugh at her, but then worry hit my face as a blinding light came from the center of a vortex of clouds. A carriage that was being pulled by two Pegusi come gliding down. Somepony was in the carriage. It flew over our heads and stopped in mid-air behind us. Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie screamed in terror, shouting that It was Nightmare Moon. Convincing Zecora and the rest of the foals, they ran away with her. Once they ran out of the Everfree Forest, still screaming, I decided to follow as the carriage headed for the center of Ponyville.

When I arrived, the pony inside jumped down with a thud and lowered her hood. Everypony was bowing and cowering in total fear. This was becoming an everyday thing in Ponyville, something weird and scary is always happening. I'm surprised nopony has left town yet. I went to go greet her, I was quite happy to see her, but then Spike who was shitting himself for the forth time that night had pulled me back down telling me that I shouldn't. I saw her approach a pony who was scared. Luna smiled and she started to shake more and pulled her witches hat over her face. OH DEAR CELESTIA! SHE FUCKING SMILED KINDLY AS TO SAY HELLO! EVERYPONY RUN FOR YOU LIVES! I just don't get this town! It's filled with nut jobs. I didn't get why they were scared... That was until she gave them a reason to be scared. The royal Canterlot voice. The vocal tornado that echoed out of her mouth. That was scary. Through the storm that is called Princess Luna's voice, she said that all she wanted was to be friends with the citizens of Ponyville, so they could get to know the true Princess of the night. If she opened her eyes while she spoke and stopped acting like a Canterlot snob, she would realize that everypony was slowly and quietly (Well, you wouldn't need to do it quietly with that voice going round the area, it would cover up the sound of an earthquake!) backing away.

Once her long and unneeded speech and entrance was over, she finally opened her eyes (Huzzah!) to take in her surroundings and also see the ponies reaction around her. Unfortunately for her, it wasn't the reaction she was expecting, she only got fear as their reaction. And to make matters worse, Pinkie Pie, by the way, who seemed to be being extra, extra, EXTRA annoying that night, decided to be over dramatic with Princess Luna's statement and started to freak out about the word "feast". As you would expect, she started screaming, like the chicken she is dressed up as and repeating the same thing, "She's gonna feast on us!". While doing that, freaking everypony else out, causing them to run around screaming as well.

Luna shouted after Pinkie Pie and protested her childish behavior. She didn't want screams of terror, apparently, she wanted "Screams of delight" is what she wanted. Well... Maybe if she didn't scream terror with her attitude, maybe that scene would have gone differently. She turned to everypony else, hoping they would give her a chance, but sadly no. Mainly because she was acting way too aggressive for a greeting. She may as well of screamed in their faces with a microphone and amplifying the voice. Eventually, she gave up. She said that she wouldn't leave with the royal farewell, making it sound like some kind of punishment. How will we ever do without it?!

Anyway, I decided to go talk to her, see if I could help like the kind mare I am. But the pussy Dragon who was still quivering in his costume, probably pissed himself in there too, held me back. The reason was because Luna was Nightmare Moon. Ugh... How many times do I need to tell him and everypony else? SHE IS NO LONGER NIGHTMARE MOON YOU DUMB, BLIND BASTARDS! Everypony in Ponyville know's what Nightmare Moon looks like, Luna doesn't look like Nightmare Moon. She look's exactly like she did one thousand years ago before she was banished. Did I need to present it to these ponies like they were foals? "Nightmare Moon bad. Nightmare Moon gone. Princess Luna good. Princess Luna here." Sometimes, I think this town is so dumb that even something as simple as that could confuse them. When I finally pulled him off my costume, I explained why it wasn't Nightmare Moon. I saw the Elements Of Harmony change her back to her normal self, I knew instantly that she was having trouble fitting in. I've had troubles fitting in. That was the only reason, she just didn't know how to act.

I went off into the forest to find her, but when I did find her, it was a sad sight. I found her lying down on her stomach looking down to the ground in front of the same statue we were at less than an hour ago, the stone statue of Nightmare Moon. I called her name, she looked up. I was about introduce myself, when she interrupted me at, "My name is..." I thought she was going to say my name when she interrupted me because she knew me already, but instead I got, "Star Swirl the Bearded." She then complimented the costume. Finally somepony who had a higher intelligence of a household pet to know who I was meant to be! I was so glad at that moment. I then tuned back to Princess Luna who had a big frowny-face. Then I remembered that she was just cruelly kicked out of Ponyville society, I decided to get back on track. I went to properly introduce myself, when she interrupted me again. Bitch! I don't care if she's a princess, she can wait until I finish doing what I was beginning to do. Obviously didn't have patience or manners a thousand years ago. Anyway, she continued, describing the events of what I did to save her from her dark powers, still in the tornado voice. I finally told her truth of the royal Canterlot voice. It sounded like she was yelling whenever she spoke. How dare thee defy the royal Canterlot voice! Apparently it was tradition to use the royal "we" and speak so loud when addressing her subjects. Let me describe the royal Canterlot voice. She spoke so loud, you could see the sound-waves, like some kind of wind. Once she said she was unsure if she could "change her ways", I decided to take her to Fluttershy, the kindest soul I know, she'd be willing to help.

Princess Luna was unsure of Fluttershy, so I decided to describe her to her. She seemed to calm down then. I knocked on the door and I got the reaction I wasn't expecting. A loud, muffled voice came from behind the door. Oh yeah, she's extremely shy, isn't she. As soon as that voice came from behind the door, Princess Luna's doubt returned. I reassured Fluttershy that it was only me. She opened the door and calmed down... Until she saw Princess Luna and started screaming in terror, shouting Nightmare Moon. I was about to go crazy, and I mean CRAZY when another pony refereed to her as Nightmare Moon once again. But I decided not to because she was Fluttershy, she was just delicate, shy and scared of her own shadow. She was too much of a kind pony to scream at, she's always helped me so I had to give her a chance. Besides, It was Pinkie Pie's fault that everypony was referring to her as Nightmare Moon. Little, pink, hyperactive fuck. She's going on my list for mind testing.

Because she thought Princess Luna was Nightmare Moon, I had too go in there and drag her out by force. Loud bangs and crashing sounds were made that I hope Princess Luna didn't hear, that would just boost her doubt. I brought her back out and all it took for her to fly back into her house, terrified was for Princess Luna to raise her hoof and greet her. I simply used my magic to bring her back over. One of the many advantages of being a Unicorn. All I wanted to do was bring Princess Luna to Fluttershy to teach her how to talk normally and not cause storm sirens to go off. I don't know why I took her to Fluttershy, does she really need help with turning the volume down? At least I knew Princess Luna was trying. When ever she spoke, asking if the volume was ok, she just answered with a yes, even though nothing had changed. She even replied with, "Perfect, lesson over." once and tried to fly back into her cottage, that was until I shut the door and she went slamming into it, her body flattened by the impact force from the back of her body. I decided to do it myself, since everypony else was boneless and or stupid. Finally, she got the hang of it and went to thank Fluttershy, hugging her tightly, too tight actually, making her look weak and limp from the force of the hug. Perfect time for Miss Hyperactive Fuck to pop out of nowhere with her gang of gullible ponies. According to her, "Nightmare Moon" had stolen Fluttershy's voice so she couldn't scream when she gobbles her up. Really, really trying to hold back my anger now. How did all of those ponies start to believe her anyway, they can't all be gullible. Maybe it was Pinkie Pie being manipulative. As we watched the ponies flee, Princess Luna tried to stop them, but it was to late. I was gobsmacked that it had gone this far.

As we strolled back through Ponyville, I saw ponies dancing and having fun, then they see Princess Luna and that fun is forgotten and turned into fear. Some of this fear was because of Princess Luna's entrance, but it was mainly caused by Pinkie Pie. Even she must have realized that this was important to me and Princess Luna, Right?

I decided that I should take her to Applejack. The reason for that was because she was also one of the most kind ponies I knew and also the most honest. She is the Element of Honesty. Thinking she would act normally and not have fallen to Pinkie Pie's standards. But how wrong could I have been. It seem's that the entire town has fallen to Pinkie Pie's chaotic and childish behavior. She jumped down to the ground, covering her eyes with her hooves and quivering. Jeez, all I wanted to know was if she could give Princess Luna some pointers on how to fit in. She replied with, "Fit in? Really?". Making it sound like she didn't trust me, like that was something unexpected to ask her. Deep down inside me I wanted to treat her like a foal because I was getting sick and tired of this towns stupidity that night. I felt like going up in her face smiling, looking like a dumb pony and say, "Yesh, Applejack, Princess Luna, doesn't want to kill you or gobble you all up!". Saying it in a stupid voice to make it sound like my brain had been damaged because I was hit in the head with a flying brick. She came to her senses and done what I asked. Wow! A pony that calmed down in her presents. She proved quite helpful! She actually gave me quite a list:

Princess Luna's reaction was "Fun? What is this fun?". Who hasn't heard of fun? For a wise pony she's pretty stupid when it comes to ponies, ya know... Her species! She eyed a game that was meant to be fun, consulting the list, it was on it! Well done Princess Shitforbrains! You're doing it! She picked up the spider and aimed it at the web, she threw it and missed completely, the only I knew who could do worse was me, you know, the old, grumpy pony from Ponyville retirement home. Anyway, we had to give her some confidence, Applejack cheered her on like Princess Luna was a five year old filly who was only doing the game for attention. She tried again, and surprisingly dead on center. Apparently she enjoyed the "Fun.". That was surprising, she was actually starting to fit in. She was getting addicted to it. She wanted more... Soon, enough will never be enough and we will all be DOOMED!

...

Anyway, we decided to go to the pumpkin catapults next. She placed the pumpkin on the catapult and she was ready to fire. This time I was cheering her on like she was a five year old filly playing the game only for cute attention. She activated the catapult and, beginners luck, it was a bulls-eye. I have noticed that Princess Luna comes out with odd statements when having fun or when she wins. It's not something you would react to in the way she did. You would add more emotion and less, ye old English .When she said that weird statement, everypony cheered her on! It looked like ponies were finally warming up to her and giving her a chance. The next thing she did had shown me that she was also getting the hang of it. Princess Luna asked for everypony to call her Luna. Like she was throwing away her Princess title in commoner presents. Ponies seemed to like that too.

After that game, we decided to move on, but when we started walking, Luna had spotted that small colt who was dressed like a pirate, Pipsqueak I think his name was, had fallen into the apple bobbing crate. Yeah, great job Applejack, leaving that unattended where young filly's and colt's could drown! Sweet Apple Acres Apples! You'll love them like you love your loved ones who drowned in our Nightmare Night games! Anyway, getting back on track, Luna ran over to the crate and lifted him out of it, probably to make him warm up to her too. Saving his life should be enough to win him over. Considering what was going on in that moment of time, what a perfect time for that PINK FUCKER TO BE PINKIE PIE, AS SHE IS, AND START ACCUSING LUNA OF GOB...

...You know what? I'm not going to bother! I've written it two or three times in this entry already about what Pinkie Pie has done so you should know what she done without me explaining it. Pipsqueak ran away screaming, "My backside has been gobbled." Which I didn't understand because wouldn't you be able to feel it? But he's a young foal, they're meant to be weird and random. But not as weird and random as Pinkie Pie, because then you could be accused of having mental issues. Back with Luna, she was angry with him, saying he was lying, which he obviously was, but that wasn't the problem. The problem was that she stomped her hoof down, shouting and causing lightning to come down, making her look scary. And just as everypony was around her, warming up to her and having fun, that small outburst caused them to back away slowly and for fear to return to their faces once again. Again, mostly Pinkie Pie's fault. She was being more annoying than ever before! A new record! She tried to win the citizens of Ponyville back by screaming 'fun' once more and throwing a toy spider, but after they didn't participate, things went south, far south. For some unknown reason, Luna decided to turn the toy spiders into real, living ones. Because that's a natural thing to do in this situation. Then she screamed "Huzzah! How many points do I receive?!" I can't tell if she was being serious and actually playing or just mocking the ponies that whom's body was infested with spiders. She noticed that everypony was running away and she 'commanded' then to stop as she was their 'Princess'. Their not going to listen to you, they're scared shitless! And that's when she lost it. the royal Canterlot voice had returned. Louder than ever before. Everypony stopped and quivered. I tried to stop her when everything was silent. But she told me know, and by the sounds of it and the way she was acting, it was like a polite mixed with the royal Canterlot voice version of her saying to me, "Piss off!" She said, probably loud enough that even the outskirts of Ponyville could hear it, that Nightmare Night was cancelled forever! Yep, way to go Luna! That'll win the fillies and colt's back. Sometimes, I think her head his actually hollow.

After Luna disappeared, I decided to go after her, to comfort her, and cheer her up. But it was mainly so I could have more candy next year and show off my costume that I was planning to be even better and hopefully more recognizable. I searched all over town for her, high and low, until I finally did.

When I approached, calling her name, she immediately rejected me. I tried to convince her that Nightmare Night was the best holidays we have in Equestria, but she thought that the screams of the ponies said otherwise. I don't think she quite knew what Nightmare Night was all about. But alas, it was no use. That's when I decided that it was time to bring out devious Twi-Bitch out.

I took Luna to an ally way in the middle of Ponyville, made her hide in the shadows so nopony could see her. I lay a trap that featured a trail of candy leading into the ally way and me standing round a corner waiting for the only pony stupid enough to go into an ally way with a candy trail, Pinkie Pie!

It took me a while before she finally came by and foolishly wandered in, free for me to capture! When she came into view, I pounced towards her, got her in my grasp and covered her mouth before she could scream. Again. How does she not have a sore throat from all of her screaming tonight. I told her not to scream and surprisingly, she agreed not too. I wanted her to see Luna as she was without overreacting and mess around. I promised her that it was safe, when really, nothing was safe with Pinkie Pie around. She was a danger to herself, everyone and everything around her. I asked her again to promise not to scream because I didn't quite trust her yet, but I had to for the plan to work or proceed. I slowly backed away and gave Luna a look as a signal to walk forward. When she did, Pinkie Pie was about to scream and I was about to loose my shit, literally loose all of the waste inside of my anus and scream like it was a brick coming out! But luckily, she kept to her promise and I calmed down again. Luna identified Pinkie Pie as 'The ring leader of the screaming children.' Honestly, I don't even think Pinkie Pie could be a leader as childish as that when you know what her organizing skills are. She can only organize parties. Nothing else. Now this was the first time Pinkie Pie and Luna were together, and finally, Luna only wanted peace with Pinkie Pie, I couldn't have seen anything more brilliant that night because of all the chaos. That was before fucking Rainbow Crash ruined the moment with her lightning cloud. Scaring Pinkie Pie, and making her scream 'Nightmare Moon' once more. That was when I was about to loose my shit, but I knew I needed to keep calm and try not to spook Pinkie Pie even more than she already is because of that Pegasus, the 'Element of Loyalty!' I used my magic to appear in front of Pinkie Pie and drop her to the ground. Angry, I shouted in her face, explaining that she wasn't Nightmare Moon anymore and that she had changed. She replied with one thing, and I wasn't expecting it. "Sometimes it's fun to be scared." That was when I figured it out. I then decided to take Luna to the Nightmare Moon statue and wait for the Nightmare Night candy offering.

I went to find Spike who was still whining that the Mayors wig kills the spookiness. I joined the group of fillies and colt's who were heading to the Nightmare Moon statue for the candy offering. Waiting for Luna to make her move, she finally done it when the last foal offered their candy. She appeared in the form of Nightmare Moon and scared them all, when they all were out of sight, she changed back to her normal self and was confused. I told her to wait. I hadn't told her about the thing about it being scared can be fun sometimes. But when Pipsqueak stepped forward, saying that he wanted to be scared again next year and that it was fun to be scared, Luna finally understood, and to make it better, she decided to bring Nightmare Night back! It seems that she found out how to win the kids back too.

Later in the night, after I had finished my Letter to Princess Celestia about what I learned that Night. Rainbow Dash tried to scare us again with her lightning cloud. That was until Luna managed to beat her to the punch by forming her own Lightning cloud and shocking Rainbow Dash with it herself. It looks like Luna had found her inner, happy self who likes to play games and pull pranks! Really, really great night.

Side note:

During the night I was thinking about the parents of foals. They tell their foals to not take and candy or anything else from strangers, and yet they don't care on Nightmare Night. They let their foals take as much candy as they want from strangers. Really strange and weird.

Author's Notes:

As you can see, I took a 2 month break from writing anything and I have finally started on it again. Future updates will be less frequent, not like two months ago where they would come out every day or two.