Dear diary,

I was up bright and early today with nothing deadly or annoying causing it, can you believe it? Finally one day without anything waking me up because something was going on. But seriously, I was up early to practise a new spell that Princess Celestia had told me to learn. It was a transformation spell, and Spike was helping me, I place a leaf necklace around his neck, a rock on his head and a stick in his claws. The spell needed full concentraition. I managed to tranfom the necklace into a tuxedo, the stick into a staff and the rock into a top hat, until Spike ruined it. He lost his concentration because of Pinkie Pie sneeking about and distracting him. She kept zooming from place to another, suspiciously. She kept twitching for some reason, some form of turrets I guess. I decided to go have a look. She said her tail was twitching and it meant something. She said it was part of the pinkie sense, what ever that meant. A twitching tail meant that something was going to fall and to get to cover. Then, suddenly a frog fell from the sky and onto my muzzle. Strange that it would happen when Pinkie Pie mentioned she "sense." But there was a perfect explanation for it, Fluttershy dropped her frog on my face, klutz. Pinkie Pie left, along with the frog on my face. I decided to get back to practicing the new spell. Spike started talking about the pinkie sense. I couldn't believe that he believed Pinkie Pie about the pinkie sense. Oh yeah, I still didn't fix the gullible thing with him. I need to remember to stop him believing everything he sees. He obviously didn't see the perfect explanation. Just then, Pinkie Pie showed up again about the twitchy tail, apparently something was going to fall. Then, I fell into a ditch. Yet another perfect explanation, I still didn't believe the pinkie sense. Spike and I started talking about how the pinkie sense was fake, when Applejack showed up and started to worry. She believed then pinkie sense as well as Spike. How gullible is everypony in this town? Applejack ran for cover. Then, Suprise, Suprise, Pinkie Pie showed up again. With a new sense, her ears were flopping. Ooo! Scary! Apparently, when Pinkie Pie's ears flop, it means somepony is going to get dirty. Coincidently, I got covered in mud. But whatever I still didn't believe it.

I went back to Sugar Cube Corner so Pinkie Pie could run me a bath and so she could explain the pinkie sense. So, the pinkie sense worked like this: Pinkie Pie would get random little twitches that mean different things. She explained what every twitch meant. If her back was itchy, it meant it was her lucky day. My lucky day would be the day when ponies would stop being so insane. If her knee gets pinchy, I means that something scary is going to happen. And when her shoulder is achey, that means there is an alligator in the bath tub. Turns out that Pinkie Pie's pet aligator was in the tub I was washing myself in. It scared the life out of me. I couldn't believe she thought that was a ok thing to do.

When I was finished in the alligator infested bath tub, I left Sugar Cube Corner with Pinkie Pie. I told her I still didn't believe in the pinkie sense. She tired to convince me it was real, but I still didn't believe it. I arrived at the library with Pinkie Pie, just then, the door slammed in my face when Spike was leaving the library. I'm suprised I'm not dead yet after everything that's happened to me. I said that I still didn't believe the pinkie sense. She said because I didn't understand it. That gave me an idea.

I took her to my basement where I kept all of the scientific technology that I stole was going to use to experiment Pinkie Pie's pinkie sense, this should proof once and for all if it was real or not. The machinery took readings of the body. I hooked Pinkie Pie up to it and started to take down the readings. I was doing this for two things. One, to find out about pinkie sense, and two, to find out why she was so random and how she could do things that a normal earth pony couldn't. I started up the machine and normal readings were the result. After all day of twitching, I had her all hooked up and then, nothing. Typical. I have up on this pinkie sense and I didn't care anymore. When we were at the door to the library from the basement, Pinkie Pie got a twitch and I got slammed in the face with a door again! I had to figure the pinkie sense out. It bugged me because the science was all wrong.

I decided to stalk Pinkie Pie by hiding in a bush. I investigated her actions from a far. Most of the time she was just bouncing about. Then, Spike snook up behind me and scared me. He didn't realise that it was trying to spy on Pinkie Pie. Spike joined me in spying on Pinkie Pie. We followed her and she started rolling around the school house grounds. I noticed something, Pinkie Pie got an itchy nose and hid for cover. But I knew that twitchy tail stood for something falling out of the sky, not a twitchy nose, that is when I thought something was wrong. But I think the twitchy nose meant a large group of bees where coming our way, because I got stung by hundreds. I ended up having stings all over my body. I couldn't believe I was putting myself in harms way for this.

We kept following her after I healed myself from all of those bee stings. We saw her sniffing a flower. Not much. Then I saw her twitch. Ear flop. Eye flutter. Leg twitch. The sign for opening doors. Spike ran and hid. I still couldn't believe that he believed that stuff. Just then I fell down Applejacks new underground seller because the door opened... Why was I having such a painful day?!

After I had been to the hospital and was put into a wheel chair, I went back to Pinkie Pie to examine her more. Pinkie Pie got a twitchy tail. Spike freaked out and started running around in terror because something was going to fall. He was over reacting. Just then, a plant pit fell on my head. Then an anvil, which broke my wheel chair. A wagon, which I was not buried under. And then a piano, which surprisingly, didn't kill me. I looked up and saw the reason for all of that was Derpy, dropping everything. I'm going to sue her for everything she's got. I'm already injured enough, because of her, I'm suprised the didn't have my grave in that carriage they were pulling.

I followed Pinkie Pie some more, but I still stayed next to the grave yard, just in case. It turns out that Pinkie Pie knew I was following her all day. I was about to loose my mind. Then, Pinkie Pie got a twitch. Her whole body shuck. She said it never happened before and it was going to happen at a swamp. I swear she was just making the twitches up all along. But I decided to go anyway. Because everypony else was going.

We finally made it to the swamp that Futtershy was at. We found her pretty quickly and we noticed nothing was wrong. I knew I was right, until... A hydra appeared! A fucking hydra! Yes, I wanted to keep my diary rated for everyone, but a hydra is a bit to much to be calm about.I couldn't believe it! A hydra! I thought they were extinct! But apparently not. This must have been the reason for the twitch. I ran along with everypony else, but Pinkie Pie was in shock and wouldn't move, I had to go back for her. Then, Spike got stuck and I needed to go back for him, not like he deserved to have his life saved. But I didn't want to disappoint Princess Celestia. We ran up a hill to escape. We thought we had escaped, but then we found out that we had to do a jump. Everypony got over safe, but I had to stay and distract the hydra. I ran towards is like a total idiot. I ran under it. It's heads went under itself to try and get me. Surprisingly, it was stupid enough to do that and it ended up sitting on itself. It climbed back up the hill and it went for me. Luckily it missed me, but it destroyed the jump I needed to do to get to my friends. I still tried... And missed. I fell into the swamp, but I was brought back up by a mud bubble. For some reason the logic of bubbles were also broken, along with Pinkie Pie's logic. But thanks to bad logic bubble, I bounced to safety. I thought it was safe. But then, Pinkie Pie started shaking again. Turns out that the hydra wasn't the problem. So what ever it was, it wasn't the hydra that caused Pinkie Pie to activate her pinkie sense. I lost my shit after that. I couldn't fight it. I had to believe it. I finally believed the pinkie sense. Then, Pinkie Pie stopped shaking. Pinkie Pie said that the doozie was that I didn't believe the pinkie sense. Finally, it was over.

Pinkie Pie was just lucky I didn't know any harmful spells to physically harm her with when I found out that me not believing was the doozie. That's all I'm going to say.

Author's Notes:

I won't be over using swearing, by the way. Only when Twilight freaks out.