…I’ll give you a clue.

N-NO!! THAT CAN’T BE…! YOU CAN’T BE…!!

Oh, you should see your face. Priceless. It’s a shame you don’t have a narration, right?

YOU… Y*beep beeeep beep beeeeeeeeep* YOU beeeeep beeeeep beeeep bep beeeeep beeeeeeep beeep bep beeeeeep IMPOSSIBLE beep beep bep DO THIS!!! I’LL –GAH?!

Oh, no, you’re not going to say that.

YOU… YOU CAN CONTROL ME?! YOU AND I ARE IN THE SAME LEVEL!! IT’S IMPOSSIBLE!!

Oh, poor Peewee. My little bird, it’s true that I can’t control you as I do with your friends. It’s true that you don’t have a narrator and that your power here is huge. But don’t think that you’re in the same level as me. Because…

*Crick*

GAH!!

You’re…

*Crack*

GAAAH!! STOP!!

A stupid…!

*Craaaack*

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! STOP!! IT HURTS!!

Bird!

*CRACK!*

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!

So stop being so self-centered and learn what’s your place. Now, be quiet. I want to enjoy your friends’ adventures. It sure will be fun, right?

GGGGH… Y-YOU… MONSTER… Y*beep beeeep beep beep beeeeeeeeep*-AGH!!

Ok, I see you don’t get it. You aren’t going to say absolutely anything about that, ok? Because the readers can, well, read you. So, be quiet, bird.

THE… READERS?

Uh-huh. Never forget that, Peewee. The readers can see everything we do. So, even though your friends can’t hear you, the people who are reading us will tell them everything.

YOU’RE… BREAKING THE F-FOURTH WALL AGAIN…

Oh, of course. Now we can read the comments again. I mean, Pinkie is Pinkamena now, so the damage is already done.

THEY… ARE INSULTING YOU… YOU MONSTER…

Why, yes. But they can’t hurt me, so let them say what they want.

THE… CLUE…
IT’S… THEY AREN’T GETTING THE…

Oh, please, stop being so melodramatic. I’ve broken your wings, it’s not so painful. There is no reason for you to talk like that.

B-BROKE YOUR FUCKING WINGS, AND THEN TELL ME, YOU MONSTER!

See? Now you can talk normal! Much better, bird. Much better.

YOU…

Yeah, “me”. You’re saying that a lot, did you know?

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!

Oh, please, the reason is obvious. I mean…

*HERE COMES TOM, BITCH!!!*

ARGH!!

*BONK*

AUCH!! MY HEAD!! WHO THE HELL HAS THROWN ME A FUCKING ROCK?!!

HEH-HEH-HEH… NOW WHO’S THE ONE WHO–

*CRACK!!*

–GAAAAAAARGH!!!

DON’T LAUGH AT ME, YOU STUPID BIRD!!

*Tosses the Elements of Harmony to the ponies*
Ha, ha, ha!

OH, AND NOW YOU’RE DOING THAT?!! HA!!!
So, you’re a reader, right?! And you thought you were smart doing that?! Well, congratulations. You’ve hit me with a rock. But, the sad thing is that you’ve also thrown me the Elements of Harmony. Yeah, you wanted to toss them to the ponies, right? It’s a shame that they’re not here. Thanks for the gift!
HNNNNNNGG…!!

*CRASH*

HA!
Now… Bird!!

GGGH…

WAKE UP, STUPID BIRD!! Do you see what I have here? DO YOU SEE IT?!

N-NO…

Yes, you can see them. The Elements. What’s up with the Elements, Peewee? Can you say it?

NO…

SAY IT!!

NO…!

SAY IT OR THAT CUTE LITTLE DRAGON YOU LOVE IS GOING TO SUFFER MORE THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE!!!

SPIKE?! YOU HAVE SPIKE?! YOU MONSTER!!!

SAY IT!!!

*Crack*

GAAAAAAARGH!!! T-THE ELEMENTS!! Y-YOU HAVE THE ELEMENTS ON YOUR HAND!!

Aaaand?

THEY… THEY ARE…

Come on, little bird. The life of your dragon depends on your words.

THEY… ARE…
THEY ARE BROKEN.

Ha! You see? Victory! Now, the ponies don’t have any kind of weapon to hurt me. What a shame, right?

HOW…?

It’s easy, Peewee. I don’t like rules, but sometimes you have to follow them to reach your goal. And, you know, the rules aren’t that bad… specially if you’re the only one who knows them.

SO… YOU NEEDED ME TO SAY THAT THE ELEMENTS WERE BROKEN…

That’s not entirely true. I could have said it and the effect would have been the same. I just wanted to be cruel, you know.

R-READERS… S*beep beeeeeeeep*S…

Oh, and now you’re trying to talk to the readers? Very clever, bird, very clever. But, even though you seemed so wise before, now it seems like you’re becoming more and more stupid with each word you say.
I can censor you, Peewee. You aren’t going to say anything.

…

And now…

THIS…

Huh?

THIS… IS A COMEDY…

Beg pardon?

YOU SAID IT BEFORE… THIS STORY CAN’T BE DRAMATIC, THIS IS A COMEDY… BUT… YOU’RE…

Oh, right. The tags say “comedy” and “random”. So technically this can’t be happening. I mean, I’m torturing you, and I’m threatening Spike’s life.

SO…

So, I see that you also know the rules of this world. That’s… weird. But, well, I guess that maybe the readers are right. One said that you’re on the same level than me, or maybe right under me. Another said that you’re a metaphor about the “good fics”. Or maybe a parody. And, of course, you’re “the body of the land” and that stuff…

…

So, maybe I should have expected it. You’re a very important character, so you know a lot.

THAT’S…

Oh, sorry, I got sidetracked. Like I was saying…
Yeah, I said that this is a comedy. So, following the rules of this world, I can’t do what I’m doing right now.
But, guess what?
I lied.

…!

And, you wanted to know why am I doing all this? Well, the answer is easy.
Aragón is a bad writer.
So I’m acting like this because I’m evil.