Just let me go for the balloons and the food and the music and we’ll have the best we-meet-another-time-in-the-hospital-and-now-there-is-another-me-here party ever!!

P-pinkie? Uh… Uh, I-I don’t…

Aragón blinked twice before talking. ‘Woah. What the f*beeeeep*ck? Pinkie, where the h*beeeep*ll were you? Why are two pink ponies here?’ The human turned to the flat haired Pinkie. ‘Are you a changeling? Is the new Pinkie a changeling? Is this situation real? And why is now the word h*beeeepll censored? H*beeeep*ll. H*beeeep*ll!!’

Aragón, that’s not important now! This situation is…!

I was in your home, reading the comments! Did you know that there is a pony named RatherHomely who…?

Ok, now I’m sure the situation can’t be weirder. I’m completely lost. What the hay is happening here?

I don’t know! It’s possible that, since we’re all fake, there can be two Pinkies, but…

‘No.’ The Pinkie with the flat hair interrupted Twilight with a cold voice. ‘No. No, that doesn’t have any sense, Twi. One of us is fake.’

Aren’t we all fake?

‘I mean fake in another level. A different kind of…’

Fakiness?

A level? What do you mean? Like a cake?

No, she means… Well, yes. Like a cake. Girl, you’re fast.

No, I’m Pinkie! But why are you saying those things? You don’t seem very happy! What has happened, Dashie?

Well…

‘Let me explain it.’ Aragón cleared his throat with a small cough. ‘Jiggily-jiggily-jiggily-we’re all fake, characters in a story, some kind of existential crisis-jiggily-jiggily-now we have two Pinkies and we don’t have any clue about WHY-jiggily-jiggily-the word h*beeeep*ll is now censored.’

I hate to admit it, but that was a good explanation.

***

NO, NO, NO, THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE. THIS IS…

Oh, please, no, I don’t want any mental breakdown here. I’m trying to watch what they’re doing, ok?

BUT THIS…! TWO PINKIES?! I THOUGHT PINKIE HAD BECOME CRAZY BECAUSE SHE HAD READ RATHERHOMELY’S STORY! DID THE FANFIC SPLIT HER IN TWO OR…?!

Well, I could tell you, but that would be a spoiler.

AND WE’RE FAKE TOO?! I DIDN’T KNOW THAT!

Geeez. You know that things like that don’t matter. Now, if you could be quiet…

BUT…!

Huh, I think I’m gonna use “Pinkamena” for the emo-teenager Pinkie, and “Pinkie” for the canon-Pinkie. It’s easier to understand the narration.

SPIKE! LISTEN TO ME OR I’M GOING TO BURN THIS WHOLE HOUSE, FOR CELESTIAS’ SAKE!!

Eh… I’m a dragon. Fireproof, remember?

***

I think I can’t understand you, girls.

Aragón frowned. ‘Hey! I’m a boy!’

Ooopsie. I mean girls and Aragón.

Pinkamena stamped her hoof onto the ground. ‘Shut up!’ shouted. ‘This is important! Now, you, pink-talking pony…’

Yes?

‘Who the hell are you? You can’t be me, It’s impossible!’

Well, Maybe it’s not. You see, Pinkie, maybe the author has decided to create a new Pinkie Pie, and…

But why? Now we have two Pinkies. That doesn’t make any sense!

Hum… I think you aren’t explaining yourselves very well…

‘Oh, for Celestia’s sake!’ Pinkamena looked at Pinkie with anger in her eyes. ‘Can’t you see it, you idiot?! We both are the same pony, and unless you’re a fucking changeling, then we’re right in front of a paradox!’

Hey! There is no need to be rude!

Uh… You shouldn’t… be shouting…

‘Wait a moment.’ Aragón cleared his throat. ‘Ok, be quiet, please. I think I’ve discovered something.’

What?

‘Just let me…’ Slowly, the human inspired and closed his eyes. ‘H*beeeep*ll*! F*beeeep*ck!! Oh, for all the gods of my Nordic land, I’m being censored all the time and emo-Pinkie is saying everything she wants! That’s not fair!’

THAT’S NOT IMPORTANT!! Aragón, please, stop!!

‘But it is important, Twilight!’ The author frowned and pointed at Pinkamena. ‘She can do things I can’t! I’m the author –well, sorta, because this situation is weird as f*beeep*ck –so, I should be the one who can say whatever he wants!’

Uh, he has a point, sugarcube. Maybe the beep-a-sound is relevant.

Really? Why?

Well, that beep was nice. I like how it sounds.

‘No, that’s not the thing,’ said Pinkamena. ‘I can say words he can’t. That means that I have more… control than him.’

I think I get what you’re saying, but I’m going to ask because I haven’t talked in a while.
Ejem.
What do you mean? Control?

She means that she may be in another level than Aragón. A superior level, because the censorship can’t do anything with her.

‘Really?’ Aragón snorted. ‘So… I can’t say h*beeep*ll because I’m a fictional character in a story? Man, that s*bep*cks. OH, COME ON! THAT WORD TOO?!’

So now Pinkie-who-doesn’t-talk-in-pink is in a higher level of the cake?

This talk is making me hungry. Does anypony want a cupcake? I’m sure there is a kitchen here!

‘Please, shut up.’ Pinkamena stared at her clone with contempt. ‘Ok, now we’re under something important. The censorship can allow us to know exactly where we are in the cake.’

‘What’s the point to know that?’ The author raised an eyebrow. ‘We’re fake, the level in which we are is not important.’

He’s right, girls. After all, we are not…

No! Can’t you see it? Pinkie-who-doesn’t-talk-in-pink…

Your name is really long!

‘Shut up.’

…is in a higher level of the cake. So, from a certain point of view, we can say that she’s more real than him!

What?!

You mean… Pinkie-who-doesn’t-talk-in-pink…

***
No, really, they should use “Pinkamena” instead of that phrase. It’s much more comfortable, don’t you think?

I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M NOT REAL! THAT DOESN’T…

For the sake of my green fire, please, stop with that.

***

…is not fake?

‘I can assure you I’m not completely real.’ Pinkamena smiled, but her eyes showed sadness at the same time. ‘I’m being narrated, so I have to be fictional. But, if I’m higher than Aragón…’

Then, that means that we can jump between levels?

Well, we started being narrated and controlled by Aragón and then we broke free. So technically we’ve already jumped.

‘You know, Pinkie… I think I’m hungry too.’

‘And why the hell are you saying this to me?’ Pinkamena raised an eyebrow. ‘Do you want one of my special cupcakes?

‘Eh, no.’ Aragón shivered. ‘I’m talking to Pinkie-who-talks-in-pink.’

Uh. uh, I sure want a special cupcake! Why is it special?

‘It’s made of rainbows,’ said Pinkamena.

I don’t know why, but that phrase was terrifying.

Girls, concentrate!

‘Hey! I’ve already said that I’m a boy! Stop excluding me!’

SHUT UP!
Ok, girls, we can guess who is higher or lower in the cake with the censorship, so let’s do it. I think that we can do something with that information.

Hum… Twi, aren’t we all in the same level? I mean, Pinkie-who-doesn’t-talk-in-pink may be higher than us, but we’ve already established that Aragón is lower because of the narration, right?

I don’t think so.

Why?

You’ll see.
Ok, Rainbow, you start. Try to say that word Pinkie-who-doesn’t-talk-in-pink said.

What word?

Pinkamena looked at the ceiling. ‘Hmm… try with “fuck”. Aragón can’t say it.’

‘Yeah. It’s one of my favorite words, but… ‘The author sighed. ‘F*beeep*ck. You see?’

Ok, ok. Let me try…
F*beeep*ck!! Ah! I can’t say it!

Well, that means that Pinkie-who-doesn’t-talk-in-pink is higher than you.

Ahá. That’s not good, right?

Fluttershy, do you mind?

Uh, wel… Ehm…
F-f*yay*ck. Huh?

Fluttershy, dear, did you just yay’d?

Uh… no, I didn’t. I mean… I tried to say f*yay*ck but –Oh! A-again!

But what the hay does that mean? Fluttershy doesn’t receive a “beep”? Why?

‘I don’t have any hypothesis. Twilight?’ asked Pinkamena.

Well, she is not like us. I mean, Aragón didn’t write about her, she came here because…

Irony. I remember that.

The invisible underlined alicorn said it!! I remember it too!

‘Oh, and I think I have a reason why she doesn’t have a “beep”.’ Aragón smiled. ‘Usually, the bronies use the “yay” we just listened instead of a “beep”.’

Why?

‘It’s a joke.’

A joke?

‘Yes, because the “yay” is very cute, and she’s quiet, and… and…’ Aragón sighed. ‘You’re looking at me like that again.’

Your jokes aren’t funny.

Ok, ok, ok. Let me get this straight. Fluttershy is different but she can’t say the word, so she’s in a lower level than Pinkie-who-doesn’t-talk-in-pink. Maybe she’s in the same that Aragón.
Now, Rarity, your turn.

Oh, of course. Et-jem.
“F*beep*ck.”
Oh, my, I can’t say it. I’m lower than Pinkie-who…

No, wait, wait! Now, say it in purple!

What?

Oh, Rarity can talk in purple. That’s because Aragón tried to…

‘THERE IS NO REASON TO BRING BACK THOSE MEMORIES, PINKIE!!!!’ shouted Aragón. ‘Let’s said… she’s special, ok? Ok. Phew. Heh, heh. Nopony wants to know what I did.’

Uh…

Rarity, please.

Ok, ok. If you say so…
Here we go. Fuck. Oh!

What?!

How did you do that?

‘Ok, I wasn’t expecting this.’ Pinkamena blinked. ‘But, now that I think about it… The invisible underlined alicorn said something about “purple is power”, right?’

Exactly!! Rarity told me about it, and I’ve been trying to understand it since then. For some reason, the purple means a higher level. You gained that power when you broke free, right, Rarity?

Well, yes.

That’s because, when you broke free, you jumped from one level to another! The only thing I don’t know is why I’m talking in purple too.
I mean, look at this: Fuck. See? I can say it.

You can talk in two colors too, Twilight?

Uh-huh. I can talk in green too, but I don’t like it.

‘But, if you can say “fuck” in one color but you can’t in another… then, You’re lower or higher than Aragón?’

Eeeer… I don’t know. This is so… weird…

Huh.
“F*beep*ck”. Oh, I can’t say it.

‘So…’ Aragón raised an eyebrow. ‘Three of us can’t say “f*beeep*ck”, two of us can in certain color, another one can’t say it and when she tries we can hear a “yay”, and the last one can say it but she’s being narrated.’

Exactly.

‘I STILL CAN’T UNDERSTAND ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING!’

‘Let’s be honest: that information can be useful in the future, but now it’s not. I’m being narrated, but I can say “fuck”. Then, I’m lower or higher than Rainbow Dash or Applejack?’ asked Pinkamena. ‘For now, we’re back at the beginning.’

Well, you’re right, but at least now we’re doing something besides being depressed. And, you can say that…

Hum… Applejack?

Yes?

I hate to agree with the retarded author, but… what’s the point of all this? We’re still fake. We have no life. The level in which we are is not important. At the end, it’s all the same…

Sigh…
You’re right, sugarcube. And Twilight and Pinkie-who-doesn’t-talk-in-pink know that too. This is pointless. But, we must try something. Plan something. Just… they’re trying to cheer us up, to make us forget our existencial crisis. They’re just trying to make us happy, Rainbow. So, don’t say that, or Fluttershy, or Pinkie-who-talks-in-pink or Rarity will hear you.

Oh.
I--- I didn’t notice it. Sorry. I didn’t mean to sound like a… a jerkass.

Don’t worry, Rainbow. You just said what you thought. There is nothing bad about it.

Well… thanks.
Hum… Applejack.

Yes?

Can I ask you a question?

You’ve already ask twice, but of course you can.

Well… How did you done it? I mean, how can you understand all that egg-head stuff? You, Twilight and Pinkie-who-doesn’t-talk-in-pink are the ones who explain everything…

Well, I just understand it, sugarcube. I’m not as stupid as you think, it seems.

…

Rainbow? Are you okay?

I… I don’t think you’re stupid.

What?

You… you don’t use fancy words, and I’ve never seen you reading a book in Twilight’s library, but you always know what to do. You’re, like, the mother of the team. You always have an answer, and you never say nothing without thinking it twice or so. And, you know where to put the baskets while you’re applebucking so the apples never fall on the dirt! That’s one of the most clever things I’ve ever seen!

Well… you… you seem to know a lot about… me.

…

I-I also think you’re smart, Rainbow. So…

…

…

‘Teeeeh-heh-heh-heh.’ An evil laugh broke the silence between the two mares. Still sitting on his bed, Aragón was looking at them and smiling. ‘Teeeh-heh-heh… I saw it…’

You saw what?! Because I’m going to crush you again if you don’t…!!!

Rainbow! Now it’s not the moment!

Oh, Twilight, darling, we’ve forgotten Pinkie-who-talks-in-pink.

I left her on purpose. I have the feeling that this is going to be… shocking.

[color=cornfloweblue]Shocking?

It’s Pinkie we’re talking about. Well, one of them.
Ok, Pinkie-who-talks-in-pink, can you…?

Oki-doki-loki! How do you want it? In which color?

You can talk in more than one color?

Of course! I can talk like this, or like this, or like this, or like this, or like this, or like this, or like this or…

Gah!

Oh, my!

What the hay?!

Ouch! My eyes!

IIIIIIIIH!!

‘What the fuck?!’ shouted Pinkamena.

‘COMIC SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANS!!!! Also, that scared the sh*beeep*t outta me. Please, don’t do it again.’

Why?

…just don’t do it.

Ok, we can agree now: Pinkie-who-talks-in-pink is higher than us in the cake.

Do you want me to say the word?

Eh… no. No. It’s not needed anymore.

Ok, you seem to have some kind of powers here, Pinkie who-talks-in-pink.
I was thinking… you haven’t said anything about the situation, Maybe you can explain what’s happening?

Explain? Pinkie? She doesn’t know anything! She said it before!

But maybe now she knows something. Or maybe she was asking why we were sad. After such demonstration of power, I’m willing to believe absolutely everything.
So, Pinkie-who-talks-in-pink, can you explain us what has happened until now?

***

You know, with eight people in the same room, some ponies simply doesn’t talk. Fluttershy is slowly transforming into a tree, judging for how much she speaks…

OH CELESTIA, YOU AREN’T LISTENING TO ME YET…

…Sigh. Ok, I’m listening, I’m listening. What do you want? Just say it fast and let me watch the ponies talking!

JUST…! JUST EXPLAIN ME THIS! I’M NOT REAL?! HOW CAN I BE FAKE?! I’M ONE OF THE…!

Just because they said you’re fake doesn’t mean that they’re right. Stop worrying about that.

BUT THE THINGS THEY SAID MAKE SENSE! IF THEY’RE FAKE, THEN YOU AND I…!

They were created by me. I’m the real author of this story. I thought you already knew that.

BUT YOU’RE EQUESTRIAN TOO! AND, IF EQUESTRIA IS NOT REAL, THEN YOU CAN’T BE REAL! AND THAT MEANS THAT I’M FAKE TOO! I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!

Uh-huh. Ok, you’re fake. Congratulations. Now, if you excuse me…

HOW CAN YOU BE SO CALM?! OUR LIFE IS A LIE!

You’re a bird made of fire. An immortal bird made of fire. Did you really thought you were real? Please…

I… I JUST…
…
ONE MOMENT. YOU’VE JUST EXPLAINED WHO I AM? WHY? I THOUGHT IT WAS A MAJOR PLOT POINT…

And it’s a major plot point. But “who you are” is not the same as “what you are”, and we’re in the eighth chapter, so maybe it’s time for you to stop being named “Invisible Underlined Alicorn”, Peewee.

I LIKED THAT PSEUDONYM.

You’re a phoenix. That’s almost as cool as being a dragon.

BUT “PEEWEE” IS A HORRIBLE NAME.

I think it’s a good name. I made it.

…YES, I KNOW.
BUT REALLY, I STILL BELIEVE THAT SAYING MY NAME LIKE THAT IS A BAD IDEA. SUDDENLY, EVERYTHING SOUNDS STUPID…

What part of “who you are is not the same as what you are” didn’t you understand?

BUT THE READERS…

Don’t worry about the readers. Look:
FLASHBACK TIME!

THAT’S… CHAPTER THREE, RIGHT?

Yes. I’m reminding it to the readers, so now everybody will be completely lost now. The plot is complicated again. Can we return back to the ponies now?

…
OK, I’LL STOP. AFTER ALL, I WAS A FOOL FOR NOT REALISING I’M FAKE. IT’S AN AWFUL TRUTH, BUT I KNOW HOW TO FIX IT, SO…

Hallelujah. Now, back to the…

NO, WAIT.

What?

I’M FAKE. BUT, WHAT ABOUT YOU?

I said BACK TO THE PONIES!!
***

So, Pinkie-who-talks-in-pink, can you explain what’s happening? What did you do in Aragón’s house?

‘And how did you open the door without the keys?’ asked the author. ‘What? Why are you looking at me like that? That’s a legitimate question, and I have the right to…!’

I entered the house from the window!

Aragón nodded. ‘Ok, I just wanted to know.’ He paused for a few seconds. ‘Wait a moment, the window? YOU BROKE MY WINDOW?!’

Twilight, if you don’t mind, I think I’m going to gag him.

Please. I beg you. Make him stop.

‘Oh, no, no, MY WINDOW IS BROKEN!! I HAVE THE RIGHT TO…!‘
The human couldn’t finish the line. With a blue light, Rarity closed Aragon’s mouth as if the human had a zip on his lips.

‘Thank you’ said Pinkamena. ‘Now, if we can talk about the important things, maybe we can…’

Hey, Aragón, stop trying to unzip your mouth! Grown-ups are talking!

Uh, I think I can explain this! It's easy!

Oh, yes? Really?

Of course! Ok, let Auntie Pinkie say it.
First, Aragón started the story, and I joined him, because it was going to be fun! And then, we wrote everything, and you noticed, and then he tried to do meanie things, but Rarity and Rainbow stopped him and hit him with a baseball bat, and then he went to the hospital and then we visited him and talked about censorship and cakes and levels. And now we’re here!

…

…

Well, I already knew that.

Uh… Pinkie-who-talks-in-pink? We knew that, we are asking you if you know why are two Pinkies here…

‘You see, Twilight? She doesn’t know anything. Stupid pink pon-‘

Oh, that’s easy-peasy! I saw her in Aragón’s computer, and then she came! I saw her moving! She’s a changeling, right?

Wait a moment. What? You mean, she was inside Aragón’s computer?

‘Huh?’ Pinkamena raised an eyebrow. ‘I remember perfectly reading RatherHomely’s stories, realizing the meaning of my life and then reading grimdark fics. I was not inside anything…’

Uh, but you were! And, hey, I read that story too! All those Pinkies are funny, right?

So, then Pinkie-who-talks-in-pink is the real one?

What do you mean with “real”? She isn’t fake?

No, she’s like us… right, Pinkie-who-talks-in-pink?

‘I don’t know. I’m fake, but I’ve been here, in this story, since the very beginning. Now, the other Pinkie…’

Uh, I’ve been here since the beginning too! We’re “here-since-the-beginning” pals! So you know what this calls for? A PART-

‘No. I don’t want any party right now.’

Uhm… girls? I think Aragón wants to say something…

Oh, you’re right, darling. He’s pointing his leg, and… Gummy?

Hey, Gummy! Here you are! When did you bit Aragón again!

The author was trying to talk, but the zip in his mouth didn’t allow him to. Slowly, Pinkamena approached him. ‘He’s pointing Gummy and me? Why?’

Hey Applejack, do you think that alligator can understand us?

I’ve always thought that he’s some kind of… “special”. I mean, I’ve never seen him walk, or something.

Rarity, unzip Aragón. I think he may say something important…

‘I don’t think so.’ Pinkamena looked at Twilight and shook her head. ‘Judging by his face, I think he’s only trying to say that Gummy is hurting him. Come on, Gummy, come with Pinkie…’

Oh, well, at least now all of them are talking. You know, I was thinking about splitting them in two teams because then the conversation would be much more… More…

…

…

…

Spike! Hey, Spike! Hello!

‘What the…? Spike?’ asked Pinkamena. ‘What are you doing here?’

Spikey-wickey?

Uh-oh.
I forgot putting the asterisks, right?

***

YES, YOU FORGOT IT.

***

Euh…
Hello? Glad to see you again, girls?

SPIKE! YOU WERE THE ONE WHO TALKED IN GREEN!!

What?! He’s the guy who was a level above us the whole time?!

SPIKE!! EXPLAIN YOURSELF!!

Ooook, I’m fucked.
Eh… I was… talking with the invisible underlined alicorn?

But… you’re one level above us? Why?

That’s because I’m… Euh… another author? Like Aragón, but more cool.

But…

But you’re equestrian too! So you’re fake! That means that there is a creator who created the creator who created…!

No.

..the creator and- ! What?

I said NO! This is not Spike.

What?!

But he is Spike! I mean, look at him!

He sure looks like Spike.

‘Twilight, what do you mean?’ asked Pinkamena.

Y-yeah! It’s me, Twilight! Why are you pointing me with your horn and ohmyshe’sgoingtoblowmeup…

You are not Spike. I’ve raised him since he was an egg. I know his smell, I know his eyes. Yours are green too, but a bit darker.
You’re not Spike. Who are you?!

***

WHAT?! YOU’RE NOT SPIKE?! THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE!!

***

Oh… Oh, Celestia! She’s right! H-his eyes!

Really? I don’t see anything strange in his eyes…

They’re right, Rainbow! This is not my Spikey-wickey! The color is different!

‘I can’t see any difference. ‘ Pinkamena raised an eyebrow. ‘I guess the fashionista knows more about colors than me.’

But, if you’re not Spike, then who are you?!

…
I’m Sp-

SHUT UP AND SAY THE TRUTH!!

Ok, I see that the stress has hit you, Twilight. You seemed the most peaceful pony in the room, but now I see that’s a façade.

I SAID…!

Stop.

…!

TWILIGHT!!

You bastard! What have you don-!

You too. Stop. All of you.

…!

…!

…!

[color=cirnflowerblue]…!

…!

‘…!’

Here, I’m omnipotent. You can’t do anything against me. I’ m the author, and you’re just characters. So stop being impolite with your… father.
I’ve been very considerate. I’ve left you do what you wanted, just watching you. But now, I think it’s time to get dangerous.
I started this because I was bored, and now you’re going to entertain me. Try to break free if you can, but I assure you: you can’t.
That hit hurt, Twilight. And now, your friends and Aragón are going to suffer. I hope you’re proud of yourself.

…!

Now, SPLIT!!

*bzeeeep*

***

WHAT… WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE?! WHO ARE YOU?!
AND… GAH! WHY CAN’T I MOVE?!

***

They’re now in another place. I’ve split them in four teams, and now they’re going to entertain me, I don’t mind if they want.
And you can’t move because I say so. As I’ve said before, here I’m omnipotent.

***

TWILIGHT WAS RIGHT!! YOU’RE NOT SPIKE, YOU’RE NOT THE REAL AUTHOR!! WHO ARE YOU?! HOW DID YOU FOOL ME?!!

***

Peewee, you’re a bird. You’re colorblind and you don’t have a nose. It was impossible for you to catch my disguise.

***

WHO ARE YOU?!! WHAT ARE YOU?!!!

***

Oh, please. I’m not answering that question.
But… as you’re so persistent…
I’ll give you a clue