I know the last chapter took a dark spin but It was to set up for these next few.

Its been about 3 years since the PI. Ponyville Incident. Kay and I had become extremely close over the years. We sell ourselves. Were mercenaries for hire. Mercenaries with a code. We get the job done and don't kill. The past years have been the most fun I have ever had. We both learned some new spells. Like how to get our human form back or transport things into this world from ours so brought everyone's favorite weapon. GUNS! Also Kay got a katana and I got a crowbar.

"How much ammo do we have?" I asked her.

"We have 78 of my 357. We got 112 for your 32. air weight. (revolvers.)"

"I see. Do you need sniper rounds?"

"I'm good for another month. You'd be surprised how many people I can get with one shot of this 50. cal."

"And what about my M37 Ithaca?"

"You have about 48 shells."

"Alright. Do we have any contracts?"

"No." *gasp!*

"NOTHING!"

"Afraid not. Guess people don't like mercs."

"Oh man... now I have nothing better to do than whine."

"Excuse me!" we heard from outside our tent. We changed into our pony forms and walked outside.

"Yes?"

"Are you Dust in a safe?" I guess they can't say my name.

"*sigh* Yeah why not?"

"I have a contract for you!" Kay and I looked at him with sparkling eyes like Twilight.

"Where at!"

"Ponyville."

"Oh..." Motherfucker! "... what is it?"

"Their appears to be some outbreak. The dead are coming back to life and nobody wants to take care of it."

"So you think we're crazy enough to do it huh? You... Are... ABSOLUTELY CORRECT!"

"Don't mind him... Can you tells us the quickest way?" said Kay.

"Stay on this path."

"Alright." We waited for the pony to leave and we went back inside.

"We can't use our guns with magic as well as we do with fingers."

"But we don't want to risk our image." said Kay.

"I don't think it matters. Zombies?"

"It looks like it. Don't worry... I have fought them for a while. They can't see or feel. They can only hear."

"So if the town is in a panic they are drawing in more of them..."

"Afraid so." She tossed me my shotgun and revolver.

"Ready?" she asked.

"No." She kicked me out of the tent.

"Yes you are! Let's go kick some undead ass."

"I can kill whats not alive." I gave her my cynical smile.

"I like the way you think." She strapped the rifle around her. We were in our human forms and the combat webbing she was wearing made her boobs hang out and OH MY GOD! I can't look at her without getting a bloody nose.

"Is this too showy?"

"Not enough if you ask me." she gave me a smack. "Pervert. We're on a job."

"And this job is going to show how amazing us humans our."

"What?"

"I want every single one of those losers and bastards and cheats to see us. To know that we exist."

"In that case..." She pulled out her rifle and aimed in the town. "...We make some noise." She fired 3 shots taking down about 12 zombie ponies. They were slow and stupid. Just how I like them. I ran down the hill and began to fire my M37.

"Fuck you!" I took down 5. "Fuck you too!" I took down 3 more. Every pony in a shop was watching us with fear in their eyes. Like 'What are these creatures and how can they cause so much distruction?' I loved it!

"Oh hey." I saw a zombie who resembled Gilda. "I got a shell just for you..." I pumped out the 2 remaining shells of the 4 shell clip and put an Incendiary shell inside. "Meet the Dragon's Breath." I fired setting her and 7 others aflame. I heard Kay laugh. Enjoy the show I imagine.

"Not bad Dustin! I think... oh shit. Out of ammo. Need to reload." She told me through our headsets. "Aw fuck it." She ran down hill and we both switched to our side arms. Her .357 was the boss. I watched her quickly dispatch a few zombies and reload in a matter of seconds. I was using my .32 to put bullets in their heads. It wasn't ass destructive as her revolver but the little guy got the job done clean and right. When we both ran out I switched to my shotgun and Kay pulled out her sword.

"Ready?" I asked her.

"Set go!" she finished it. We both ran into a group. I used my gun as a club and she carefully dismembered them.

"Holy shit! She's a maniac." I heard from the Library from a voice resembling Forest. I put my gun down and slammed my fist into the gut of a zombie and pulled out his bowels. I then pushed him down and used his intestines to swing him around and knock down everyone.

"Kay get down!" I yelled. She did it and I threw the zombie to the group in front of her and knocked them all down.

"Geez! Where did you learn that?"

"Little bit of Dead Rising and Machete combined."

"Very Nice but watch this." she pulled a pole from the ground. She rammed one zombie and used him to pole vault in the air kicking two zombies in the head breaking their necks. "Such fragile things." she said.

"That was amazing."

"Thank you kindly." we looked around and noticed that we killed most off them. The rest were on their way here but it would take some time. Se we reloaded and asked around.

"Who gave us the contract!" I yelled around. No answer. I put a bullet in the wall of the Library. "Answer me or I will kill you!" I never have killed. But... I think I can now.

"I did!" We heard from Celestia. She walked up to us from behind.

"Alright. Where's the pay?" I looked around not giving two shits that I just killed the entire population of this town. Well... mostly.

"Their is no pay. I need you two."

"What? You put 2 million in cash on the contract. You don't lie to me. No one lies to me." said Kay.

"Easy Kay. But seriously What the FUCK!"

"You two are the only ones who will take care of this problem so I new I could get you to do this."

"And by telling us a lie? That's a bad way to burn bridges."

"Your bridge as already been burnt you insolent fool! Do you think I would hire you If I had someone else?"

"Makes sense. But you had better pay us."

"Or what?" I pulled my revolver and shot her crown off. "I could have killed you right there. I will if we are not payed."

"Dustin don't you see this world is better without you? No dragon wars, no violence, and even your family's company here is successful. Because you don't exist."

"So your saying you want to kill us off. Very sneaky." Kay said.

"In a way yes. These undead... I don't know how this happened but you two seem good at killing them."

"Stop talking." I told her. "We aren't your tools. We are the one's getting our hands dirty. We have the choice! Your not playing Judge Jury and Executioner! WE ARE! US! AND YOU WANT US TO KILL MORE! Well... FUCK YOU!" I yelled for everyone in a 5 mile radius to hear.

"Stop talking like that. Your making matters worse." said Celestia. "I said shut up." Kay and I began to walk away.

"Your going crazy Dustin. Kay has already been victimized and we don't want this world to end."

"We?" I turned around and asked her. Every pony, griffon, and stallion walked up to her like an army.

"Yes. We all want to live in peace."

"So you hire the two ungraceful ones to fix it. How ironic." Kay said. "Nice." I told her with a chuckle.

"Fine we will do this... for 4 million in cash. We want diplomatic immunity so you won't hire anyone to kill us after this. Want else do we want Kay?"

"We want a decent home." said Kay. "Hey yeah! That's good!" They all looked at us. Celestia sighed.

"All right. A deal's a deal." I saluted her and went to the zombie corpses. "Sorry about this." I bent down to the corpse of Applejack and took her hat. "I wear Stetsons now. Stetsons are cool." It matched my brown duster and my brown hair.

"Oh Applejack..." I heard Twilight say who was about to cry.

"Ah ah ah... don't you dare cry! She's a zombie who tried to eat you."  

"Your a monster."

"And your mean." I gave her my best I don't care face.

"Ready?" asked Kay.

"Challenge Accepted." I told her.