Fluttershy's Menagerie

It took a while to get Applejack into some semblance of emotional stability. It's a sad thing to see such a wonderful mare look so heartbroken. I made up my mind while I explained the situation to Granny Smith and Big Mac what I was going to do. As Jackie sat on her haunches, bawling away, I swore to myself I was find Lone Star and beat him to within an inch of his life! That's why now, I'm over at Fluttershy's place. That fucker almost did me in…!

Let me explain: My first stop after consoling the farmpony was Berryshine's Cantina, a popular watering hole for Ponyvillle's male population. It's a big place, with lot's of glow crystals throwing enough glare to give Las Vegas a run for its money. There were carts parked up to hitching posts that stood out front of the bar; several more were parked along the side alleys on both sides. A small dumpster was overflowing with liquor bottles and used food wrappers. Most of these look to be a few days old.

Inside the cantina, it's slightly more cheery. There's an old school jukebox blaring some sort cacophony of noise; pool tables line the east most wall. There are booths along the western wall and in the middle is a fair sized dance floor. Prowling the tables scattered at the edge of the dance floor are serving mares in what I can only describe as "scantily clad." (Even though I've seen some of the girls at drive-thru beer runs prance around with less, these are ponies we're talking about here. It makes it even stranger to see mares walking about in stuff a stripper would think of as work wear.) The place reminds me of a honky tonk, but with fewer rednecks.

I no sooner take in the scene when a cute little thing in a frilly cowgirl skirt scots up to me. She has an earnest, if practiced smile, on her face and her eyes look up to me without much of the fright some ponies give me. The earth pony mare is balancing a serving tray on her back; the appliance is already half way full with empty beer mugs and wash rags.

"Anything I can get ya, hun?" she asks sweetly.

"Nothin' for me, thanks," I reply, "unless ya know where I can find some fella by the name o' Lone Star."

The mare's look darkens, then she says, "That jackass? Why're lookin' fer him? He a friend o' yers? He owe ya some bits?"

"He hurt one o' my friends," I reply, "he owes me some pain, with interest."

The mare gives me an appraisal, scanning up and down my body. Maybe she was trying to see if I was hideous as the rumors say or if I was tough enough to do what needed to be done. In any case, her look softens and her stance, which had gone rigid, loosens.

"If'n yer look fer Star," she says, "he ain't come in yet. Give 'im fifteen minutes or so. He usually comes in after messin' 'bout with his filly."

"Applejack?" I query.

"Nah," the mare answers, "some sweet thang that goes by Shimmer Star. She's been 'round the block, ya see. I ain't one to say nothin' nice about a pony, but she's seen some miles, I tell ya what."

So this Shimmer Star is like a bus; everyone's rode her. So why in the buck did Lone Star leave Applejack for her?

"Thanks, miss," I say, tipping my hat, "I think I'll have set a spell with 'Shine. I ain't eaten yet, and maybe she has some vittles I can nosh on."

"Sure," the mare says, "Berry is tendin' bar this evenin'. She be obliged for some comp'ny that ain't hittin' on her."

As I walk towards the bar, I hear the mare call out behind me, "The name is Cinnamon Bun, if'n ya need me."

Heh, cute. She even has a cinnamon bun cutie mark. Dude, I got an Adventure Time flashback… I saunter to the bar, seeing a good acquaintance manning the bar. Berryshine knows I'm a teetotaler, so she keeps some non-alcoholic drinks on hand if ever I show up, which isn't often. Already, she has a cool glass prepped and a soda spritzer ready for me.

"Hiya, Steve," Berryshine greets, "a splash of soda for ya?"

"Actually, yeah," I say, "I got a feeling I'm gonna need it."

"Rough day, eh?" Shine says.

"You have no idea," I reply, "and the day ain't even over."

Berry slides my soda to me; I finish it in one. She has a refill before I can ask for it. We spend the next ten minutes or so talking about, well, nothing really. She already has a good idea why I'm here. She saw Lone Star in here the other night with a new filly on his withers. She and Ay Jay are tight but she has no love for the Shimmer bitch. Berry let me know that if I want to fight, she and her staff aren't gonna intervene; she does warn me, though, that Star is a tough one. She's pretty sure he can take me in a fight.

A moment or two after that bit of foreboding, the door to the cantina opens up and in steps Lone Star. The filly that he comes with has the look of a gold digger and a butter face to match. What Star could see in her, I'm not sure. What I am sure of is that he threw away a good mare for some uppity cocktease and that failing alone is gonna earn him a medium sized set of lumps.

"Howdy ya'll!" the stallion shouts, "how ya'll today?"

Most of the responses are genial and a few more than cordial, especially amongst the mares. Shimmer looks murderous that such a reply could be made to her stallion; Star seems oblivious. The couple sidle up to the bar a few stools down from mine. I've got my fourth glass of soda in me by now and a seething hatred is burning me up inside. Worse still, he and his gold digger fillyfriend are canoodling like crazy. I'm all for PDA but this shit is over the top…

"Hey, lookit this!" Star cries out, "if it ain't Steve! Whatcha doin' here, man?"

I turn on my stool to look at him and the nauseating filly with him. "Actually, I'm here fer you," I tell him, "I got some words fer ya, about Applejack."

"Applejack?" Star asked, "That old nag? What 'bout her?"

I look over Star to Shimmer and she gives a querulous stare.

"I hear tale you broke her heart," I explain, "traded down, from what I see."

Both Star and Shimmer glare at me; I guess I just said some fighting words.

"Hmph! Cry me a river," Star decrees, "the nag is just upset that she can't keep up like a filly. Don't go blamin' me fer that mare's faults; she's the one with hardly any hips to her."

Okay, that was too much I'm not gonna let this defamation of a good friend stand. As in earlier in this day, I can see the aether form all around me. The weave is wrapping around Lone Star, forming a kind of sling. I don't know if I'm doing that consciously or not, but it's a mild curiosity. It serves the purpose I have for the effect. Star is still talking, so he doesn't see what's coming until it's too late. The whole bar loses their shit when Star goes careening for the door, untouched by hands or hoof.

"Don't worry, 'Shine," I say, as Berryshine rises from underneath the bar, "I'm taking this outside."

I grab Lone Star, who's still trapped in the weave, and carry him out the door. He's still trapped in my weave, though he thrashing about wildly. He's cursing up a storm, too. He'll be cursing more before I'm done with him.

I step out the door of the cantina and toss Lone Star unceremoniously from the weave. He tumbles, ass-over-teakettle, on the gravel parking lot; he finally corrects himself after three consecutive rolls. He's breathing ragged and his eyes are filled with rage. He paws a forehoof along the gravel, readying a charge. I already have my alacrity charm in place, just so I know the odds are even. It's my understanding that of all the pony tribes, Earth ponies are the quickest on land and the strongest on their hooves. I think only alicorns have more per-pound muscle but that's also backed up by higher magical reserves.

Star rushes me, and even with my charm in place, he's moving faster than I can handle. The crown of his head strikes me in the shins; I go down, hard, but I'm back up as he rounds on me. He takes another charge but as he reaches me, I drop into a crouch before releasing a double fisted haymaker. The shot connects to his jaw, sending spittle from his mouth in a high arc, and his body lifts from the ground. Before he has a chance to land, I get back into a crouch before sweeping his legs from underneath him. The effect of the leg sweep sends him spinning before he crash lands.

Nominally, this should have been enough to end a fight. Lone Star, though, is no stranger to brawls, and is back on his hooves before I can recover. This time, he leaps onto my chest, launching vicious punches to my face; my glasses break as throws his jabs. On the fourth, or maybe it was the fifth, jab, I rear back my head and headbutt him. In the movies back home, this seems like a highly effective means to stun an opponent. In real life, it just hurts, a lot.

Star isn't even dazed; he rears back on his forelegs and bucks me straight to the chest. If my head wasn't hurting before, it must definitely is now. I see stars swimming in my vision as Star prepares to buck me again. This time though, I get a second wind and, I shit you not, perform a wheel kick, followed by a roundhouse kick that sends Star flying into the cantina facade. Another wheel kick plants him against the wall but before he can slide down. A left cross, a right cross, and an uppercut assail his muzzle. Several teeth and strings of claret flew as each blow lands.

The uppercut knocks out Star for the count; I'm breathing heavy and begin to wonder where all the kung fu shit came from. Back home, I was never that well coordinated; I couldn't even do a handstand, let alone a cartwheel. The shit I did this evening was the sort of stuff Jason Statham and Jet Li are known for doing. It was at this moment that I noticed the crowd gathered around us. Several geezers in the throng were exchanging bits; they may have bet on the winner of the fight. Berryshine is looking at me with a measure of reservation and relief. Maybe cleaning Lone Star's clock was a bad idea…

"Okay, everypony," I announce, "shows over. Come on now, this is a fist fight not a rodeo."

After dumping Star's sorry ass back into his cart (with a murderous Shimmer Star cursing a storm at me) I lurch my way back to Flutters place. My face is bruised and my chest aches from getting hammered by a pair of Earth pony hooves, but I have defended the honor of a good friend. That'll be my good deed for the day…

I was sore for a few days after. My body isn't really all that athletic, so pulling stunts like that night has really strained my muscles. Thankfully, Fluttershy has been keeping me well rested and providing what comfort she can. Presently, she has herself impaled on my erection and is shimmying up and down it. (Sexual healing, For the Win!) I've been told this is called Dolphin style, though I'm not sure why. I guess Cowgirl Style wouldn't make much sense among ponies… The way Fluttershy does it is- well, it's more sensual than I've ever seen it. My Butterfly kinda rolls on top of me, my pride buried deep within her, and she uses her Kegel muscles to do most of the action. She thrums in a way that is both pleasurable and alluring. It won't be long now before I climax…

Oh, by all things bright, is that a good feeling! My Butterfly is gasping as her orgasm rips through her; I've just climaxed as well. Every twitch of my pride is filling her belly with my warm seed… Hell, I can even feel my testes vibrating by how much ejaculate is coming out. Flutters is quaking on top of me from her most intense orgasm yet. That's the second one she's had this session… Wait, did she just-? Damn, Butterfly, you just came all over me…

"Sorry," she whispers, "that hasn't happened in a long time."

I'm still collecting myself here, "That's okay, My Butterfly. That just tells me how much you enjoyed yourself. Nothing broken, nothing bleeding."

She smiles even as she wiggles herself atop of me; the sensation through her love canal is one of pure bliss.

"I don't know," I gasp, "whatever I did to deserve you, but I will endeavor to never take you for granted."

We share a tender kiss; I put in a lot of emotions I'm sure will resonate even without words.

"I love you, Stevie," Fluttershy whispers, "and I don't deserve you, considering how selfish I am."

"Nonsense, Butterfly," I retort, "you give of your kindness many times over. You, too, deserve some kindness, don't you?"

"Mhmm."

*Knock! Knock! Knock!*

Fluttershy and I look to the door. Just who in the Hell could calling on us at this hour? If it's Lone Star, then I'm gonna have to beat him within an inch of his life. He is not gonna harm Flutters, not if I have a say in anything. Flutters dismounts me, my softening pride making that a much easier thing to do. She has some jizz running down her leg; I'm sure she feels it. Maybe that's why she stops to rub her hindquarters on a nearby towel. As she approaches the door, I set to getting some clothes on. I know these ponies are perfectly happy strutting about in their coats and not much else, but I didn't get a fancy fur coat.

"Oh, hello, Big Mac!"

I look at the door; sure as not, there's the red stallion himself in the doorway.

"Miss Fluttershy," he says, his deep baritone slightly muffled by the bow he takes, "I was wonderin' if'n Mr. Steve were here. I have somethin' to ask o' 'im and timin' is o' th' essence."

"Oh, yes," Flutters answers, "Stevie's here. Would you like to come in?"

"Much obliged," Mac says as he walks on in. He sits down on the floor in front of the couch Flutters and I were using for our afternoon tryst; thankfully, I'm as fully dressed as I can be, although I have no idea were Fluttershy through my boxer-briefs.

I greet Mac with a "Where you at?"

He replies in the usual way, "What it is." and offers a hoof to bump, so I bump it. Even though he wears a smile on his face, I can see that Big Mac is a little nervous. I wonder why?

"So," I start, "what's got you so far away from The Acres?"

With a slight drop of sweat coursing down his forehead, Mac begins, "I, uh, I need to ask ya fer a favor or two, Steve. They're, uh, they're both kinda personal."

"Okay," I say, "what kinda favors are we talking about here?"

"Well," Big Mac starts, "I , uh, I- This is embarrassin'… You know my sister, right?"

"Older or Younger?" I ask.

"Older, Applejack," Mac says, "she, uh, well, you done helped her out with this Lone Star business. SHe appreciates that mightily. But, uh, you see- Dang, this is gonna be hard- Ya see, she uh, ya see- She- She's in estrus, again."

"Wait, what?!" I start.

"She, uh, she's in estrus. An earlier one than normal. Typically, her cycles follow the mares in town, but this one kinda surprised us. Bloom is haftin' to help out while Jack is- indisposed of. I can't even got t' my room 'cause she'll smells me passin' and then she tries to rut me through the door!"

"And that just won't do." I declare.

The stallion nods, "Worse, my room is up the hall from hers. I've hadta sleep on the couch downstairs for the last few days."

"How do you know she's in heat?" Fluttershy asks, startling the Earth pony.

"It's, uh, it's the smell," Big Mac explains, "Granny Smith picked up the day after Steve trounced on Lone Star. That's why I need this favor of ya."

"Okay," I say, "what's the favor, again?"

"I hear tale that you can, uh, plow your seed without anythin' growin'." Big Mac answers.

Flutters and I share a concerned look. When she was last in estrus during The Week, she and I had sex. Normally, amongst ponies, this should have gotten My Butterfly pregnant. We only did that one time while she was fertile; every time afterward, she's been her normally sweet, lucid (yet sexy) self. I'm human, also, so maybe I don't carry enough chromosomes to properly fertilize a pony germ cell. I'd have to ask Twilight about that. This begs the question, how did Mac know of this?

"Uh, yeah, that's true enough," I say, "though how you heard that is actually rather concerning for me. For Fluttershy too, I bet." My Butterfly nods at this, wearing a blush in her cheeks and worry in her face.

"I ain't sure it matters," Mac continues, "because Applejack needs yer help. She ain't any good in this state and 'cause Lone Star ain't 'round, she's being a mite o' trouble to deal with. So, and I wish I didn't hafta ask this, but could you- rut my sister?"

I look to Fluttershy; I'd rather have her give me permission to do this, but I suspect she hate'd this scenario if it played out. Given what happened with Ar Dee, mating with another mare would probably upset My Butterfly to no end.

"I dunno, Biggie," I respond, "that's a tall order to place. Fluttershy and I need to discuss this. I mean, if I could help in any way, I would, but this is- This is weighty situation, with alot of variables and a good mare's heart on the line. Ay Jay's still kinda broken up over Star; I suspect that if I were to try anything, she'd knock me ass-over-teakettle."

"Well, ya'll think about it," Big Mac says, "ya still got some time. The last one o' these she got, back 'fore she was an Element Bearer, that one lasted nearly two weeks. Time is kinda a factor, mind… Anyway, the other thing I want talk 'bout is Rainbow Dash."

"Ar Dee?" I ask, "Dude, are you gonna lay into me like everypony else has? Cause if you are, I can tell you here and now that I'm done discussing-"

"That ain't what I came to talk 'bout," Mac cuts in, "I was, uh, I was wonderin'. Ya know, strictly hypothetical an' all, but, do ya think Rainbow Dash would, uh, date a stallion like me?"

Flutters and I share an incredulous look. Is this was what the second favor is about?

"It's possible," I reply, "I mean, Dash looks for the best. Near as I can tell, both you and I are most eligible bachelors in town. Although, with the news about the other day out and about, you're now king of the mountain. Any single mare in town should be coming for you. I'm pretty sure Dash fits into that category."

"Okay," Big Mac says, "then, uh, could ya ask her if she, uh, would like me to take her on a date. Or somethin'…"

"Macintosh Apple," I start, "are you telling me you're sweet on a certain prismatic, Pegasus mare?"

BigMac just nods.

"Well, I think we can help you out there, Big Mac." Fluttershy adds, "I don't see any problem with a handsome stallion like yourself going out with Rainbow Dash. Do you, Stevie?"

"No, I don't," I admit, "might even calm her down some."

"Thank ya both so kindly," Mac says, "now, if'n you'll pardon me, I still got chores to do back at the farm. Steve, Miss Fluttershy."

And with that, Big Mac is out the door.

For a while after Big Mac left, Flutters and I debated whether we should help out Applejack with her- problem. Even though Ay Jay was at the bottom of the short list of potential herd mates, I think Fluttershy thinks she'd be an excellent addition. I think she also hopes that her foalhood trauma doesn't rear it's ugly head again if we continue to build the herd. I still have reservations and I let My Butterfly know them; she told me that it's perfectly normal for a stallion to be a bit shy about forming a herd. She even anticipated it! As soft spoken as Flutters is, she has a shrewd mind. Man, I am head-over-heels about her now…

Today is Wednesday. Fluttershy usually heads into town to collect a bulk parcel of birdseed at the town post office. She typically goes out alone, but the heat from the Rainbow Dash incident hasn't died down yet. That's why Flutters was so amorous with me the day before; all those nasty comments and filthy looks made her feel useless and ugly. She wanted reassurance from her stallion that she was pretty. I was more than happy to oblige.

Ponyville is the same as always, even though the two of us are getting our fair share of evil eyes. Flutters looks pensive as we walk through the crowd to the post office. I keep a hand hand in her mane to let her know I'm not going anywhere. Ah, there's the post office now. I can see the official Ponyville Postal Service cap on several mares coming out of the building. Derpy, in the air for her usual route, waves as she passes overhead. At least she's still happy to see us… Hey, hold a mo. Is that Shimmer Star? What is she doing here?

"There he is," the mare says, "hey, monkey! Do you seriously think you can get away with hurting my stallion?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," I quip, "your name is-?"

The Earth pony mare in question growls, "The name is Shimmer Star and my stallion is Lone Star. You hurt him real bad the other night. Now I come to mess you up, real good!"

The aether answers me again, showing me where it lies in relation to everything around me. Should I post a shield? Maybe a net would make for an better defense. No, I got it, a wall! It'd like to see this bitch buck through a wall made of the weave… Wait-a-minute, what the buck is Fluttershy doing?

"I'm sorry, but did you say that your stallion couldn't even defend himself from my stallion?" Wow, Flutters says that with an inflection that just oozes power and sex!

"No," Shimmer Star retorts, "I'm saying he hurt my Star, and I'm gonna pound in his monkey-bucking head!"

"Oh, really," Fluttershy replies, "and what makes you think I'll let you?"

"'Let you?'" Shimmers asks, "'Let you'? You bucking whorse-!"

Oh, fuck! Shimmers just slapped Flutters right across the muzzle! I even felt that in my teeth!

"That's nice," My Butterfly answers, I don't know how that doesn't phase her, "but you do realize that now I have to buck a bitch!"

Whoa, dude, cat- uh, mare fight! Jesus, I know Fluttershy was strong, but this is ridiculous! Shimmers, even though she is an Earth pony, is getting stomped flat by My Butterfly. I didn't know she had it in her-! Just what the flying Hell brought this all about?

"Ah!" Shimmers cries, "Stop, stop! I give, I give!"

"That's right! You mess with my stallion, you mess with me! And when you mess with me, I wrath at you!" My Butterfly announces.

Shimmer Star is cowed; she is so badly beaten up, that she doesn't limp away, she crawls. Man, do I have competing emotions about this. To note, I can't decide if being defended by my marefriend makes me a wimp or a stud. I also can't tell if Fluttershy Smash is scary or sexy. I kinda feel both at this moment.

"Are you okay, Stevie?" Flutters asks, "That Shimmer Star didn't upset you, did she?"

"No, no, but, I do gotta wonder, what the Hell just happened?"

"What do you mean?" My Butterfly asks, "I was just defending my stallion."

Wow, the nonchalance she says that with…

"Well, you see, back home, things are different," I explain, "if a guy was messing around with another guys girl, he pound the stuffing out that guy."

"Oh, I see," Flutters says, "Well, here in Equestria, the mares defend their stallions. It's kind of traditional for a mare to do so. That's what my papa said. It's actually encouraged for a mare to defend her stallion, seeing as there are so few stallions around."

"Huh, I guess that makes sense," I say, "is that because Equestria has a matriarchal society?"

"More or less," Fluttershy answers, "it's also because the ratio of mares to stallions is so steep. I can count the number of stallions here in Ponyville on one feather."

"So it's a numbers game." I say.

"Pretty much," Flutters responds, "a mare has to go to whatever lengths she can to protect her stallion. Or monkey, in this case."

"Hey!" I exclaim, "Who's a monkey?!"

From the Daily Journal of Steven Ambrose, Entry Number Twenty-Eight:

Oh, my fucking grandmother! I'm not sure what possessed me to agree with Big Mac to help Ay Jay while she was in season, but good God, I must have been addled. Fluttershy was surprisingly calm through it all, though I know she was a ball of uncertainty during the whole thing. My Butterfly would help Applejack cool off between heats, bringing water, food, and the occasional coffee. As for myself, I was mounting the farm mare like no tomorrow. She heated up at least three times a day, seven times during that last day. It's a wonder I came off Sweet Apple Acres able to walk straight. Fluttershy was very proud of me for handling that situation with the calm I did. It still rather confuses me that she was alright with me mounting Ay Jay like that when she flipped out when I tired with Rainbow Dash.

I'm still under suspension from work, so I don't need to make up any excuse to chuff off. Although, with all the rutting I did with Ay Jay, Flutters and I won't be able to make love for a while. That's okay, though. I found ways to excite my mare that don't involve penetration. I've been meaning to work on my foreplay techniques. I've found some erogenous zones I didn't Flutters had. How was I to know her barrel was so sensitive? Or that the base of her wings are more than just where her flight muscles connect with her barrel? The more I explore My Butterfly's body, the more I discover. The other night, I found her teats. I don't know why it took me so long to notice them. And unlike most mares, Flutters are highly susceptible to touch…

I think I'm starting to understand what this Archmage business is about. Hand That Mourns and Esmer are still not forthcoming, but my experiences over the last few days has expanded what little I know. I guess it could be said I'm some sort of wizard. Or maybe I'm a psychic of a sort? In any case, I'm developing powers the like no human has ever had. Now I know what Time Turner was talking about a while ago. I just hope I don't fall prey to Icarus' Folly…

Fluttershy and I were out, buying some groceries for the week. My pantry and ice box are getting woefully empty and Flutters doesn't keep a lot of foodstuffs on hand; she tells me that some of her rowdier animal pals get into it if she's not watchful. We're still getting a lot of flak from the other day, but we've taken to ignoring it as much as we can. The stares and whispers have gotten worse not that I'm wearing a new little something in my hair.

Earlier this morning, Fluttershy presented me with one of her primary, or pinion fathers. It had molted off the night before when I was helping her preen her wings. She told me that in Pegasi culture, a primary wing given to a lover was a sign of devotion, kind of like giving a human girl an engagement ring. Although, the connotations of a molted pinion are much higher; the Pegasus in question is (symbolically) giving her lover a piece of her soul. I found the notion too romantic for words and accepted the feather. Seeing as I had no wings to pin it onto, I decided to braid it into my hair. It's perfectly visible on my left side; even when the wind blows, it can be seen. Derpy saw it and practically melted. It must be a big deal for Pegasi to do this.

Right now, we're walking to the market, hoping to get some food without invoking someponies wrath. It's been a hassle since that one night, but I've tried to remain civil about it. Hey, look, up the road apiece! It's Applejack! Wow, is she smiling really brightly now.

"Hey Fluttershy! Hey, Steve!" the farm mare calls.

"Hey, Ay Jay!" I reply. Fluttershy waves one of her wings, smiling.

"It's a good thing Ah found ya two; I've been meanin' to thank ya fer the other week." Applejack says.

"Think nothing of it," Fluttershy says, while I nod, "we were thankful to do it."

"Even so," Ay Jay continues, "ain't right of me to take advantage of yer hospitality. Hope ya can forgive me."

"There's nothing to forgive Apple-" I start, "Uh, Ay Jay, is that a flower in your saddlebag?"

"Eyup," Applejack replies, "actually, there's two. I- I, uh, been meaning to ask ya'll something since the thing, but it's so busy on the orchard, seeing as how Ah gotta catch up on my work an all. But now that Ah'd have some time to think and reflect on things, Ah've been wonderin'."

Applejack then reaches into her saddlebags where the flower resides. It's an apple blossom, white tinged with orange. And, surprise!, she has not just one, but two of the flowers on her person.

"Ah was wonderin', if'n you have no objections and all, would ya- Would ya'll like a hard working, honest, and strong farm mare into yer herd?"

Applejack takes one her blossoms in her teeth and delivers into Fluttershy's outstretched hoof. (Flutters has a smile a mile wide on her muzzle. The happiness she radiates is palpable.) Ay Jay then takes one over to me and places it into my open palm. She steps back, a look of trepidation on her face. When My Butterfly threads her blossom in her mane, the look dissipates a little. When I thread mine into the buttonhole of my shirt, Applejack brightens significantly.

"Jackie," I say, "we would be honored if you joined our herd!"

"Woohoo!" Flutters exclaims, beaming.

I don't think I've seen Applejack so happy before. She throws into lung crushing hugs before she joins us on our venture. Somehow, I don't think getting groceries, or any other service in town, is gonna be much trouble from now on.

Shit just got serious, son!

And before anypony asks, there are honest to God drive thru beer runs where scantily clad girls (most of which I consider butterface) parade around, serving customers in naught but bikinis. It used to be that they could work in lingerie, but after a beer run called "Papi Chulo's" got cited for indecency because the girls working there were wearing stuff even a stripper wouldn't caught dead in, the City of Laredo passed an ordinance. It made any establishment that allowed such a uniform in the workplace into a C-1 (Restricted) code, which can't operate within city limits. (It's the same designation that strip clubs have to apply for.) Since most beer runs are well within the city's borders and are designated as C-2 (Neighborhood Business), any found operating like that were cited for zoning violations and were shut down.