WARNING! This chapter includes a headcanon depiction of Fluttershy's family life before she moved to Ponyville. Part of her flashback will include material of rather unsavory disposition: marital rape. It is a subject that is both sensitive and significantly unreported. I tread this subject with much respect to the many survivors of rape and those who support them. I will not romanticize or glorify this topic. I'm using it as a way of defining Fluttershy's demeanor vis-à-vis the end of Chapter 31, Falling in Love is Hard on the Knees. If this topic is beyond what are you capable of sustaining maturely, then please skip over this chapter. Thank you.

Also, the name of Fluttershy's mother and step-mother are two previous generations of Pegasi for whom the current generation of Fluttershy is based off of.

Her birth mother is Sky Shimmer:
Her step mother is Posey:

And yeah, I used the fanon R63 name for Fluttershy as her father.
Additional meat for the story will follow in the next two chapters, Lone Star State of Mind and An Apple Blossom Faire.

From the Daily Journal of Steven Ambrose, Entry Number Twenty-Two:

Oh, Christ, last night was so messed up! Fluttershy, as caring and as compassionate as she is, may have bit off more than she can chew. She had invited Rainbow Dash for dinner. It was supposed to be a date to gauge Ar Dee's willingness to join us in a herd. I think things went a little too quickly for My Butterfly, because as Dash and I were in the midst of mating, she just- fled. I don't know what caused her to do that; she seemed very upset about it all. After I brought her back home, she spent most of the night crying and I had to remind her that even in her imperfection, she is perfect in my eyes. I haven't the foggiest why this all came up, but I'll be keeping a close watch on my mare for the foreseeable future. She is my Beautiful Butterfly, after all.

Filly Fluttershy Point of View:

I miss my mama. Papa says she's sleeping, but sometimes, I think he tells me this so he doesn't have to admit the truth. I know, though, that my mama is dead. Papa doesn't think I remember. It's hard not to remember what happened on the day that should have been so very happy. It's also hard not to get the image of that dragon snatching her out of the sky like- No- No- mama…!

Papa drinks a lot now. There's often an empty bottle of Skywalker Whiskey on the floor before he goes to bed. He's never mean, no, when he drinks. He's actually kind of sad. He like to touch me a lot when he's like that. He'll hug me, while he's crying, and stroke my mane. Sometimes he'll yank my tail, just to hear me gasp. I don't know why he does that but it feels wrong. Sometimes he'll touch me in places that make me feel funny. That feels even more wrong, if such a thing can exist. He doesn't do that often, but enough to where I worry for my papa. I would like to tell him to stop, but I don't want to upset him.

He hasn't done that in a while, though, not since he met Ms. Posey. She is so nice! She kind of looks like mama. Her mane is the same color, but her cutie mark is five tulips. Mama's cutie mark was so pretty! She had a beautiful butterfly! (I often wonder if her Wonderbolt teammates teased her about it. If they did, she never said anything.) Ms. Posey is also a little heavier than mama. She once told me she had a little filly of her own once but she couldn't keep her. She sometimes still cries for her little filly, but she tells me she's okay. It upsets me that she cries like that, but I never say anything.

She is nice enough, though, I suppose. She tucks me in at night, she sings me lullabies before bed, she makes these really yummy breads that I love. (She makes this delicious blueberry and almond bread that is to die for! Whenever she makes it, she always makes me a spare loaf; I can inhale one of those in minutes!) She always makes sure I have my lunch before school, and she was the one that helped me out during Flight School. She isn't as fast as my good friend, Rainbow Dash, but Dashie says Ms. Posey is like that because she was raised by mud ponies. I don't like it when Dashie says things like that; it's like she doesn't know what she's talking about or repeating what her parents say. It's really annoying when Dashie talks about Ms. Posey like that, but I never say anything.

Ms. Posey really likes my papa. I see them hugging and kissing a lot. There was one night when I was going to get a glass of water. I passed by my mama's and papa's room. The bedside lamp was on and my papa and Ms. Posey were hugging on the bed. I wanted to sigh because it was so cute that they were hugging, but then I heard Ms. Posey say something that confused me.

"Butterscotch, no, I don't want to tonight. Please stop!"

"Cum on, Posey, ya know you want it. Ain't I a virile stallion?"

"Yes, yes, you're a very virile stallion, Butters, but- AGH! you're hurting me! I'm not ready for- Augh!! No, Butters, I don't- Hrgh!"

"Ah, yeah, it's in, all nice and tight! Donna ya worry, Sky- Sky- Posesky- I know you like a little ruttin' after a show-"

"Butterscotch, no! Agh! Why- auh! why won't- huaaagh! stop!"

It really sounded like my papa was hurting Ms. Posey, but when I asked her about it the following morning, she said it was alright. She then asked me not to say anything to anypony about it. If I didn't, she would take me back down to the surface world again. I would really like that! I missed all my animal friends down there. She promised me… So, I haven't. I worry for Ms. Posey. If papa's hurting her, then why does she stay? I would like to tell papa to stop hurting Ms. Posey like that, because I really like Ms. Posey. But she told me not to say anything, so I never said anything.

I hope I meet a special somepony like papa met my mama and Ms. Posey one day. I'm still kind of afraid of dragons, though, after what happened to mama. I'll sometimes wake up in the middle night, screaming about dragons and mama. Ms. Posey will come in after and hold me close to her barrel and sing me a lullaby. Then she'll bring me some hot cocoa that she gets when she goes to the surface. My papa doesn't like it when she does that and they often get into fights about that. I get upset hearing papa scream that Pegasi don't belong on the surface like some mud pony and even the "thrice damned prickheads." I don't know what that means, but it doesn't sound very nice. I want to tell papa to stop using those words and allow Ms. Posey to go to the surface whenever she likes, but I never say anything.

I miss my mama.

Steven's Perspective

Urgh, I hate mornings. This morning doesn't sound so promising, either. My Butterfly was crying through most of the night; she kept calling out for her mother. From what I understand, her mother is dead, killed in some freak dragon attack. I didn't mind holding her close and rocking her to sleep. It just makes me concerned about why she was so upset about. Although, know that I think about it, I pretty much just dodged a bullet, there. I don't know how long I can have kept up with a competitive mare like Rainbow Dash.

I know that makes me sound like a jerk. I kinda fell like a jerk after all that happened last night. I really don't want to to, but methinks that I should make an apology to Ar Dee for what happened. She needs to know I don't hate her and neither does Flutters. It may have been too much for her; it certainly was too much for me. Huh, now that has me thinking, just what are the courting rituals for Equestrian's are. Seeing as we're dealing with a land where males are outnumbered by females by a factor of three or more, I bet things like plural marriage and the like are common.

That might explain why there are so many lesbians in town: too few stallions. That's probably not the only reason, but likely the chiefest. Doubtless there are gay stallions, too, the so called "colt cuddlers," but I feel there numbers are so few as to not make an impact on the local gene pool. Man, when did all this high sociopolitical bullshit get into my head?

"Mmmm," moans the mare in my arms.

"Well, now, My Beautiful Butterfly awakens!" I coo, "How did you sleep?"

"Badly," Flutters replies, "considering I used you as a bed."

"And," I added, "do you remember why you used me as a bed?"

Flutters started for a bit, then ducked her head down, attempting to hide her face behind her mane, "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," I assure, "something upset you about last night and I did what every good coltfriend should: I console my marefriend. So, do you wanna tell me what happened to you last night? Rainbow was really pissed that we reneged on the sexy times."

"I'm sorry," Fluttershy apologized, "I shouldn't have freaked out so much last night. It's just-" She stops, a furious blush and a quiver entering not only her voice, but her body as well. I massage the flank exposed to me, and this seems to calm her some.

"Whatever it is, My Butterfly, you don't have to be embarrassed about it. You can tell me anything and I'll never laugh, I'll never get mad, I'll just love you, hold you, cherish you, and make you feel beautiful."

Encouraged by my words, Fluttershy starts, "W-well, you- You know my mother is dead, right?"

I nod and she continues, "Well, for a while, my father drank, mostly to stop feeling but also to that he could just numb himself. After a while, he started seeing somepony else, and eventually he remarried. My papa, though, he wasn't the same stallion he was before my mama was killed. Di- Did you know that my mama was a Wonderbolt?

"No," I gasp, "you mean she was one of these aviators that Ar Dee is so obsessed about?"

My Butterfly nods, "She was. During an air show in Las Pegasus, a stray dragon entered the air field. She- She never stood a chance."

Flutters begins to sob again, streams of tears threatening to break past the dam of her eyes. I begin to pet her mane, and this keeps her calm as she continues.

"Anyway, my papa married this Pegasi from this very village. Her name is Posey. She was so sweet to me… My papa- Sometimes he was the perfect gentlecolt but ofttimes, especially when he was drunk, he would take Ms. Posey- by force."

"And by 'take' you mean he would- force himself on her? Rape her?"

Fluttershy nods, tears still present in her eyes, but now no longer threatening to spill over.

"Why didn't anypony say anything?"

"It- It was- I don't know! Fluttershy cries, "and when I saw you and Dashie last night, even though it was a totally different set of circumstances, I just-"

"I get it," I say, "you had a flashback to those days. A bit of post tramatic stress syndrome. That had to be hard to relive."

"It was," she admits, "I just hope Dashie can forgive me."

"We'll find out later," I tell her, planting a kiss on her muzzle, eliciting a smile, "Stevie…"

"Yes, My Butterfly?"

"Why do you call me 'My Butterfly?'"

I plant another kiss on her muzzle, making her squeak, "Because you're a little like a butterfly. At first, you were just helpless and small, you couldn't anything much at all and now, you have wings and the world is open to all with all it's infinite possibilities."

She giggles at that, "Really?"

I confirm with a solid nod, "Like I said last night, you're perfect in my eyes. You may never be totally perfect, but that's why I love you: you always try, no matter how scary or dangerous the attempt."

She hums peacefully in my arms, and nestles her head in my chest. If I had a say, we'd stay like this for all eternity.