The next episode we are going through is called.

Episode 20: Time for a Rhyme

Jesus… This episode is going to be nothing , but Rhymey isn’t it?

No? Oh, good.

A few days had passed, and there was no sign of any abnormal activity, this really confused everyone. If Chrysalis and Fratello had all this power at their hands, why weren’t they using it?

Is that not what I’ve been saying the pass few hours?! Maybe we’ll actually get an answer that isn’t stupid. Though I doubt it.

So, the group decides to take a break from all their training to go to a place called “Rhyme Time”, a café owned by Rhymey. God, I wish I was making that up.

Anyway, Rhymey gets on stages and reads some poetry to everyone. Here’s basically what it is…

Okay, ignoring the abrupt ending, I want to talk about something that has really been bothering me about this story. The tone of it.

This story has no identity. This story has no idea what it wants to be. It doesn’t know if it wants to be an action story like Power Rangers. It doesn’t know if it wants to be more child friendly like Sesame Street. Or if it wants to be like My Little Pony. It has no idea what it wants to be. It’s trying to be all of these things and ultimately it succeeds at being none of them.

It’s like watching a darker cartoon like Gargoyles or Young Justice for 2 minutes, then switching to something like Dragon Tails or Barney and Friends, and then 2 minutes later, you switch to something like Adventure Time or The Looney Tunes Show. And then two minute you switch to something like Game of Thrones or Criminal Minds.

There is no consistency with the tone of the story. Now, I’m not saying a story couldn’t properly balance these things out to give it a unique tone. But this story doesn’t have that balance. I’m not given enough time to grasp the full tone of the story because it switches so often.

Give the first story some credit, it at least had a tone. It followed a Sailor Moon story line. Here’s your powers. Defeat enough monsters until you’re powerful enough to fight the big monster. Repeat until end of series.

Yeah, it sucked, but at least it knew exactly what it was. This story has no idea what it wants to be and in the end that ends up giving it no identity.

So, after Rhymey’s performance, with Twilight falling asleep to it.

You know how art sometimes imitates life and I’m totally falling asleep too?

The story suddenly starts rhyming the whole episode. Why? What’s the point? That’s a complete change of tone from the rest of the story. Nowhere else in the story does this happen. It’s completely pointless.

Twilight ends up in a strange world where all her friends are living different lives. Heck, even the Starfleet are basically watered down versions of themselves. I mean, that’s not much, but it’s actually rather interesting.

Twilight travels this strange world, which is much better than the one she left behind, and finds a mysterious creature named Nightmare.

Nightmare ends up attacking Twilight and ends up capturing Spike and puts him in a dungeon. Twilight manages to escape where she hopes to talk to the local sheriff to get some help. However…

“Wait!” cried Twilight “Let me out!”

But Warden Rhymey simply said “Quiet, you lout!”

“Insufficient poetry

Is a Class-D felony

You disregard our rhyming rules,

I’ll bet your one of Nightmare’s ghouls.”

Wait, so the world is forced to rhyme like Rhymey is? … Okay. Whatever. I just… lost caring.

Twilight is thrown in prison where she meets up with a wizard and genius. The story doesn’t bother to give them names, so why should I?

They explain to Twilight that Luna, yes, she’s in this story too, became jealous of her sister’s glory and became a creature named Nightmare. No, just Nightmare.

The trio manages to escape with the magician’s magic box.

Sure…

The box reveals to them a spell book that Twilight can use to defeat Nightmare. There’s only one problem. She has to speak… IN RHYMES!

The group makes their way to Nightmare’s Castle, where Twilight battles the evil Nightmare and masters the rhyming technique.

Yay… I’m too lazy to get the Fluttershy clip.

Look, I’m not saying that this episode couldn’t work. Take the Christmas episode of Danny Phantom. Danny is forced to rhyme the entire episode because of the Ghost Writer (not that kind of ghost writer). After Danny had accidently destroyed a piece of work the Ghost Writer was working on, he forced Danny to rhyme until he learned the importance of the holidays.

This works because it gives a reason why Danny is being forced to rhyme, the Ghost Writer is a poet and thus that’s makes sense. This comes the fuck out of nowhere!

So, they defeat Nightmare, she turns back to Luna, who the fuck cares. This chapter is the worst yet and you want to know why? Because of the odd as shit pacing for this chapter. The story is already slow as hell and yet the way this chapter is written makes it feel slower. And yet, the story is so half assed it feels rushed as hell.

It’s actually hard to explain. It’s like the formatting is making the chapter longer than it actually is and the pacing is so rushed that it feels like everything is happening at once without a moment to cool off.

It’s actually kind of fascinating!

So, Twilight wakes up from her dream, this chapter is never mentioned again and nothing is overall gained from it. Out of all the pointless chapters in this story, this is probably the MOST pointless. It’s just a chance for Mykan to show off how ‘artsy’ he is.

The next episode is…

Enter, the Dragonoid

God, do we really need a comma there?! This story has enough problems without me mentioning all the bad grammar!

It was during the final battles of the last war, in Equestria’s last minutes before it exploded.

Really?! Well, that’s certainly unexpected. But not unwelcome.

Oh, wait, this is just a flashback to the battle against Titan.

I would say some more stuff happens but that would suggest that this story knew anything about character development.

Just cue the giant monster attacking.

Allow to introduce you to my latest, and greatest creation; Dragonoid!” With the click of a remote control in his hand, Fratello activated the robot dragon, and it roared loudly and extended its large claws, and began to stomp its way forward laying more paths of destruction through the town.

A remote control? Really? This guy is so evil, he actually has a remote control? Seriously, is this his toy car or something? I’m sorry. It’s hard to take this guy seriously when he has to go to the supermarket for AA batteries for his death machine!

The robot attacks and the heroes rush it like they always do.

“Celesto!” cried Celestia as she and Shining Armor dashed over to him. “Cadance is gone.”

Oh, yeah, I forgot the Grand Ruler’s name is Celesto.

WRONG! The Grand Ruler's name is pronounced... "CHE-les-to."

So, Chelesto?!

I’m sorry, I should explain. In my video review, I pronounced the name ‘Cell-lest-o’. Why? Because you don’t pronounce Celestia ‘Che-lest-ee-a!’ and it’s not written any differently! Now, there could be a rule that states that the original way it was intended is technically correct, but that still throws people off!

So, Cheetolesto, Celestia and Shining Armor try to find Cadance. Maybe this will be like Cameron’s Ponyville Misadventures 2 where Chrysalis kidnaps her for no fucking reason.

Meanwhile, our heroes continue to battle the dragon robot, but it keeps tearing the city apart.

Then, he turned to face the library. “No! Not my library!” Twilight shouted, and she dashed over. “Twilight, No!” cried Spike

Oh, don’t worry, Twilight. According to many fans of the show, the library is destroyed by Terik anyway in season 4. Yeah, I still haven’t seen that episode yet.

The battle continues to go badly, when Pinkie Pie comes up with a brilliant, brilliant, BRILLIANT plan to defeat him.

“That remote control!” cried Pinkie “We have to get it away from him.”

However, after their plan fails, Princess Cadance arrives. Cadance tries to talk her brother down and stop his attack.

The group attacks once more, I really can’t follow this fight any more thanks to its poor presentation, and Lightning does what he should have done through the entire fic, Uniforce the fuck out of everything.

Lightning pulled and pulled with all his might and actually managed to yank Dragonoid’s head off of the body, exposing the insides of wires and circuits. “Time to end this!” shouted Lightning as his body began to glow along with his golden horn. “…UNIFORCE!!”

And it… shows a youtube video?

And then it asks me to skip to 0:48? Humph, sorry, I don’t take orders from lesser fics!

Also, I guess Lightning just turned into a giant dinosaur with laser guns on his back and blasted the fucker to bits. … Although, this change could make the story slightly better.

Celestia and the Grand Ruler arrive just in time to scold Cadance for trying to stop her brother. You know, thanks for the help guys. Go ahead and sit on your asses and make out while I stop the monsters from killing everyone!

“I know…” said Cadance “But I thought maybe I cold reason with him, try to help him.”

Anna said the same thing about Elsa. Heh… Frozen humor…

Uggh, finally the six part Finale. I’ve been waiting for this moment for what feels like 35 minutes. So let’s just get through this.

So, after the destruction of Ponyville due to the giant dragon robot most of the citizenry are transferred to the royal palace. Which begs the question, where does the room for them come from?! Wouldn’t they have government funded shelters first?!

Crowlerestro and Celestia gather everypony to the throne room to discuss the Rainbow Rod. No, not the Grand Ruler’s Rainbow Rod. Lightning’s Rainbow Rod. No, not that Rainbow Rod. The Rainbow Rod is a magical item that Lightning was given to defeat the villains.

Get your head out of the gutter, you sickos!

During the course of the first story, the Rainbow Rod was destroyed as a result with the battle with Titan, not that I remember that, but it could be just a result of the alcohol.

The Grand Ruler explains that there might be a way to repair it. Of course the Grand Ruler would know, after all…

Being a chosen child of the gods, he was gifted with extraordinary knowledge, though it wasn’t always clear even to him and it only happened once in a great while if he desperately sought an answer for the good of all.

Humph… I find that hard to believe. If he was so knowledgeable, why the hell is he in THIS story? And a chosen child of the gods? Oh, yeah, a group of gods that we never see or hear from, making me believe that this is all in the Grand Ruler’s head. Not too far off actually.

Recently, he had been having dreams, which were actually visions of prophecy and knowledge given to him by the gods.

Oh, yeah. I remember those dreams, in the all of 0 scenes that it actually happened! SHOW US SOMETHING!

Turns out a planet far away from them called Esper had a power far greater than anything in the universe (until season 3 at least) and that they sealed it away in a Cave of Illusions. I’m sure there was more, but I just blacked out for a second.

What was I doing?

So this cave is on the planet where Chrysalis currently resides. Of course there is mention of Chrysalis being the only thing on the planet now, which begs the question, why the hell doesn’t Lightning and the Grand Ruler perform a huge invasion of her hiding place and capture her while she’s there?! They know where she is and yet they sit in their castle checking out Celestia! The pervs!

So, a group of unicorns volunteer for the mission. I would tell you who but let’s face it, they’re all interchangeable.

Her magic would be useful there too, but they all figured they would need one more member, one whom could help them in the darkness. “I know just who.” said Celestia. That’s when her sister appeared. “Princess Luna?” asked Twilight. “Yes…” Luna said proudly “As one with the power of darkness, I will be of great help to you all.”

Oh… Sorry, Princess Luna, you’re not important enough to be in this fan fiction. I’m afraid you can’t go with them.

I should feel bad, but let’s face it, as far as the MLP characters are concern, Luna was spared most of the story’s wrath!

They arrive on the planet and start looking for the cave when Chrysalis discovers where they are and apparently her magic is so powerful that she’s able to warp reality.

Huh?!” they both exclaimed, and the others realized it was only a magical illusion. “She’s not really there.” said Twilight, and right then the illusion vanished, and the ground began to quake. “What’s happening?” asked Spike.

“I don’t think I want to know.” cried Krysta. That was when the ground burst wide open and powerful magical forces seemed to grab everyone and pull them all into the bowels of the planet.

Again, why the hell is she not…?! I have yet to receive an answer to any of my questions. I don’t know why I’m bothering.

Each of the characters run into their worst fears and deal with them in the most implausible of ways. Hell, just look at the way Daisy handles hers.

“Silence!” yelled her teacher. She did not look a bit pleased and said that she was tired of Twilight’s bungling and messing things up. Twilight was confused and tried to protest, but Celestia just grew crosser. “You have ruined things for the last time, and I have no choice.” That’s when her horn began glowing “The penalty for your actions, Twilight Sparkle… you shall… DIE!!” She fired a shot which Twilight dodged, and she began to run away for her life, but was unable to understand what was happening. Suddenly, she tripped and kicked a stone that was on the ground right at Celestia… and she just vanished in a cloud of smoke.

Yeah, a whole paragraph of dealing with her greatest fear. I hate to say it, but even Sombra was better at this.

After a few more pointless fears that amount to nothing, Daisy and the others (except Lightning if anyone is surprised) get captured by Chrysalis.

Chrysalis demands that Lightning surrender, but Lightning refuses and attacks her.

However, it turns out it is just another illusion, when suddenly he is attacked by… evil clones of all the characters?

Sure. I’ll buy it. I’ll buy you whatever you want! I’ll buy you tickets to Saturday Night Live if I can stop reading this hunk of shit!

The group arrives just in time to save Lightning (damn it) and they battle their evil halves.

“This should be easy.” Spike gloated at the Evil Spike “I don’t even know how to fight, so you must-- AAH!” His clone grabbed him by the tail and began to whacking him on the ground like a hammer. “Ow! Ouch! Ooh…! Know how to fight.” Spike said all dizzy and groggy.

Pff… GOD DAMNIT! I LAUGHED AT A MYKAN STORY! UNIRONICALLY! GOD DAMNIT!

The team starts to get badly beaten by their evil clones and they come up with the idea of switching targets.

But that doesn’t work. Okay, point to this story for actually coming up with something clever. But they it goes right around and has Spike figure out the way to defeat their evil clones is to… not fight?

Well, I’ll admit. I didn’t see that one coming. Of course, I don’t care to see any of it coming.

So, yeah, the group stands down and the villain let them pass. Because, why would we actually want our heroes to overcome difficult obstacles through blood and sweat?

They make their way to where the magic power is held, but it turns out Chrysalis beat them to it. … What would the evil version of Chrysalis look like?

Sounds legit.

However, the magic proves unstable (I’m not questioning it, why should you?) and it threatens to destroy the entire planet. The group leaves before the planet explodes. They arrive back home where they tell the Grand Ruler the bad news that Chrysalis is now more powerful than before. Even though she was just fine with taking out Starfleet’s elite, but power begs more power, I guess?

… Four more chapters… Here’s we go…

We start our last part with Mr. Roboto working on his latest creation. However, Chrysalis discovers where he is and attacks him, easily overpowering him.

WHY HAVE YOU WAITED SO LONG TO…! Never mind. It’s the last four chapters, I’m just going to rush through them.

Chrysalis pins him down and demands to know how to use his latest creation. Mr. Roboto refuses.

Chrysalis gazed at him, then back at the giant robot and grinned wickedly.

Fratello didn’t like the look her eyes.

This does not give good flashbacks of another fan fiction with an incredibly long title.

We cut to Equestria where everyone is on alert…

Not only was Starfleet remaining ever vigilante, but so were the Wonderbolts and any other creature skilled in fighting who wished to help out.

So, they’re all turning into superheroes? … Is this story turning into My Little Avengers? … If so, I’m down with that.

The Griffons, the Minotaur, even the Diamond Dogs were willing to fight.

War over! You win! Diamond Dogs are apparently the most tactically advanced species in the world! Just send an army of those fuckers and they’ll go Legolas on their asses!

Spike even managed to convince many of the dragons to help out too, though it took some time as the dragons didn’t trust a pint-size like Spike who lived with ponies.

And now even dragons are fighting alongside them! How are they not going to win?! Even if the robots are supposedly more advanced, I don’t think that they can match an entire world!

Twilight is concerned about gathering the powers of harmony, yeah; I guess that’s a thing now. I would say it made more sense if you read the previous chapter, but honestly, I don’t know what the fuck is going on either and I read the damn thing.

So, I guess, Twilight gets a promotion, which I guess is supposed to mirror the promotion that she got in season 3.

Chrysalis and Mr. Roboto (I guess he’s working for her now) attack New Canterlot with an army of robots, but thankfully since the ENTIRE PLANET IS FIGHTING THEM, the fight is over before it even starts. Oh, wait, I was trying to add logic to this scenario.

No, they get there asses kicked.

Especially once Mr. Roboto unleashes his greatest creation.

“Meet the instrument that will seal your fate, Ponies; the Doom-Droid!”

Now, note that he said ‘ponies’ here. I would say that he means all of the ponies, including his own characters, but frankly the pessimist in me is saying that he just means ‘ponies’, not including his ‘unicorns’!

It turns out that the army of robots was just a distraction to wear our heroes down. Because a small army can take on an entire world in a face to face scenario! I think that’s how tactics work! Fuck Fire Emblem!

You know I don’t mean that, baby. I love you.

The robot turns out to be too powerful for our heroes, and it forces the Grand Ruler’s and Celestia’s hands. They turn into…

No, you’re not high. This is actually happening.

Though, I’m sure by now, you wish you were.

But thanks to the Doom Dozer’s ability to absorb energy, which was established early in the fight, the Doom Dorker is able to absorb the GCR’s energy attack and send it back at him/her/it/whatever.

And our story ends with everybody dying. Or at least, that would be me trying to kill myself.

The chapter actually ends with our heroes questioning what to do, after seeing GCR get his/it/fuck it’s ass kicked.

Things kept going from bad to worse, then from worse to way worse.

Well, I’m glad this could be shown to us this way or else, I might not have known things were going badly. At least the author had the decency to tell us.

I could have never figured that out, with THEIR BIGGEST GUN FLATTENED!

The palace gets attacked by an army of robot men… How many of these fuckers did Mr. Roboto make?!

He can’t have made more than a dozen thousand and again, AN ENTIRE PLANET including the very powerful Diamond Dogs are fighting them!

Chrysalis couldn’t stop laughing with glee. Her plan was foolproof, and the best part of it all was no one could even try to attack her. They’d either be stopped by the robot-men, Doom-Droid, the chaos storm, or by she herself. Even launching attacks from below did nothing.

Give me a sniper rifle and two thousand yards and…

What? He doesn’t need it.

Worse than that, the teams and the army were growing exhausted and couldn’t keep going much longer. “There’s… just… too many of them!” Lightning panted.

Again, glad we could be seeing this. AND NO, I DON’T MEAN IN A LORD OF THE RINGS YOUTUBE VIDEO!

“Leave my friends alone!” shouted a voice. Twilight looked up and could see Spike riding atop of one of many hundreds of dragons, flying to the scene. “Spike!” cried Twilight. Spike leapt down from his dragon ride, “Ta-da! In person, or rather dragon.” and he told his dragon buddies to have at the robots.

Soon more reinforcements arrived. “It’s the Griffins!” cried Rainbow. “And here come the Diamond Dogs.” cheered Rarity “And I can’t believe I’m actually cheering for them.”

“And there’s the Minotaur gang!” cried Fluttershy.

Uh… I have no idea. I was under the impression they were there the entire time! Why was it not made clear that they were off somewhere else?! You mentioned that they had allied themselves with them, but not that they were only on their way!

Ugh, I blame poor management of the scene and not on my lack of attention to details.

So, I guess there is some kind of evil energy being generated by the Doom Doodie and it’s threatening to destroy all of Equestria.

The group comes up with a plan to sneak inside the robot and shut it down from the inside. Of course, I’m sure there are precautionary measures to keep that from happening or from it being so easily done…

“Something is wrong!” cried Fratello “Every system has shut down and is slowly recharging, but I can’t seem to move at all.”

Lightning slowly got to his feet chuckling, “You’ve fallen right into our trap!”

“Trap?!” snapped Fratello, and then he realized he had been outsmarted.

God damnit, you suck as a villain, Mr. Roboto!

So, with the robot disabled the heroes attack with everything they’ve got. Lightning and Mr. Roboto fight while the rest of the group battle Chrysalis at the end of part 2.

Part 3 shows the heroes… OH, COME FUCKING ON!

They were so tired that even the slightest nudge from the robots was enough to knock them over, and The Ruler was still recuperating “It’s… no use!” panted Twilight “There’s too many of them!”

How many of the fucking things are there?! And now they actually have the impervious Diamond Dogs fighting alongside them! There is no excuse this time! It’s just to add drama to a scene where a group of primitive Diamond dog, who were able to take out Starfleet with no problems, are all gathered in once spot battling robots that can barely take on Starfleet’s best!

When Lightning is about to die, Twilight and the others, somehow, gain the power of the Elements of Harmony, even though those were destroyed by Titan… Oh, who gives a shit at this point?

And they use that power on Chrysalis.

Twilight and friends were confused at first, but suddenly realized that it was the power of Harmony awakening within them again! “No! It can’t be!” cried Chrysalis “Not again!”

Oh no! This power that was never once used on me! Not again!

They defeat Chrysalis, but she manages to get away.

However, they can still battle Mr. Roboto. Lightning comes up with a plan and… sends Mr. Roboto through a black hole? Yeah, just… just go with it.

We get another youtube video and the heroes blow up the villain.

He and all his friends fired their power into The Ruler’s staff, and The Ruler sent the biggest blast ever towards Doom-Droid destroying it in a massive explosion.

Did you see that explosion?

Yeah, it was –like- the biggest explosion evar.

I know, right? Like- the biggest!

With that, Mr. Roboto is about to die and he asks Cadance to finish him so that he no longer as to endure the pain.

You know… With a bit of reworking honestly… This scene could have worked.

I know you all think I’m crazy right now, but honestly, this could have been something emotional. Cadance is faced with the truth that her brother is beyond saving and that she must come to terms with that.

If there had been more depth through the Cadance and Mr. Roboto thing, if there had been more of an interaction between them and we got to know more about Mr. Roboto, this scene honestly could have worked.

… Well, I guess it does go to show that Mykan can have good ideas. He really can.

It’s just that… the effort isn’t there. If he really wanted to do this and he knew that this was going to be the focus, I honestly think this scene could have had a greater impact. But honestly, it feels … robotic, if you’ll excuse the pun.

It feels like it’s programmed to be this, not because it felt right. Not because that was what the emotions were going through at the time. It feels like it ‘has to be there’ rather than ‘it feels good here’.

So, after that supposedly heartbreaking scene, Chrysalis is attacked by the entire group and is, somehow able to fend them all off, including the Grand Ruler and Celestia.

… Don’t ask. The story is almost over.

However, after finally pinning her down, they allow Chrysalis to live.

You would show mercy to dark, wretched beings like me and my changelings… after all that we have done?” snarled Chrysalis “You are indeed very unusual creatures.”

And then, Chrysalis and Cadance had a child.

So, with Mr. Roboto’s death and Chrysalis’s surrender, life starts to return to normal.

Cadance continues to mourn the loss of her brother…

Cadance gazed sadly at her uncle. “I know. I just wish I could’ve saved him. He would have done the same for me.”

As much as all the others wanted to believe in that old faith, as much as even Celestia wanted to, she openly admitted “No, he wouldn’t have. Not if it were impossible. He pretty much would have done just what you did.”

… Thanks a lot, you fucking bitch! While you’re at it, why don’t you tell her that she’s the least loved princess in all of the fandom?!

Hey, if it weren’t the truth, I wouldn’t be saying it.

Everypony continues to be a bitch to Cadance, because Mykan hates Cadance, but that’s an explanation for another time.

And then our story ends with … Another fucking song?! Of course. Why the fuck not?!

THIS FAN FIC IS THE WORST!

It is unbelievable how bad this thing is! I cannot imagine a more horrible fic! If you guys thought the first one was bad, this one makes that one look like a fucking masterpiece!

The characters in this story are so bland and so under developed! The new characters are barely touched on and we barely know anything about them! You could have totally ripped them from the story and nothing would have changed!

As for the reoccurring characters, they are just as under developed here as they were in the first season! They have nothing distinguishing their personalities from one another! You could literally replace everyone’s dialogue with somepony else and you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference! Except for Rhymey, but that’s only because he only speaks in rhymes! That doesn’t mean he has a personality! That is a quirk!

Quirks do not make personalities!

The only characters that seem to have any character is the Main Six, but they are so watered down, they’re barely recognizable. And that’s even if they appear in the story. Most of the time the Main Six, with the exception being Twilight, play background ponies to the Great Unicorn Starfleet Master Race Bullshit!

And then you have Twilight Sparkle, who is made purposely idiotic and learns all the lessons in the story! Look, I know she has a lot to learn and she does learn in the show, but how many episodes focus on the other characters?! Cutie Mark Crusaders learn things in the series! Her friends! Spike!

Twilight was the one who probably got buttfucked the most! She’s incompetent, inconsiderate, and any time she tries to think differently, she is seen as wrong and is ultimately humiliated for it.

And then we have our villains! Good god, our villains in this series sucked!

Mr. Roboto could have worked a lot better if he wasn’t so bland! He is the typical possessed pony instead of just misguided! Even his pony identity had nothing to him and we really didn’t get to know him that well or his relationship with Cadance! Which makes his death mean nothing in the end, because we don’t care about him or what he had with his sister! In order for a character’s death to mean something, we have to get to know them!

Chrysalis had no reason for redemption at the end! There was no reason for Chrysalis to break down and start crying when the heroes caught her causing her to repent her ways! If there had been some kind of build up or something that even remotely hinted that she was going to change her ways, that would have been more acceptable! But there isn’t, it just comes out of the fucking blue and we are expected to buy it because ‘THE GRAND RULER IS SO AWESOME!’ and ‘HE HAS ALL THE ANSWERS’!

Well, answer me this, dumbass! If you knew that there was an alternative energy to give Chrysalis to make her stop fighting you, then why the fuck did you wait so long to offer it to her?! Did you just enjoy seeing her suffer?!

Which of course, leads into the sexism again. There are traces of it everywhere! It’s particularly bad to the main six, but that’s something I’d expect from him since he doesn’t like My Little Pony anyway. But I was shocked when I saw some of the things that he did to Starla. He downright made her a bitch to Lightning and she’s the one who was wrong and she’s the one who has to apologize! Lightning isn’t much better since he’s about as bigoted as the author!

The plot is incredibly ridiculous! It’s the same tired plot as the first one just now we have more educational style episodes blocking the way as well. The plot drags on forever, with the same recycled theme! Send monster, monster fails, repeat until the end! The only way this could work is if you make the characters within those stories interesting, which even then, can only hold interest for so long! And when you don’t make your characters interesting, like in this, it makes the story seem much longer than it already is!

The tone of this story is all over the place! It can’t decide what it wants to be! Does it want to be a story for a younger audience, a really young audience or an adult audience?! It feels like it’s trying to be all three at the same time, but doesn’t do it well enough to balance the three! I always feel like I have to adjust myself every time it tries to shift its tone! A good show like Avatar the Last Airbender is good at being for multiple audiences without talking down to its audience.

And that’s another thing I have an issue with. The writing style. This style makes me feel like I’m a little kid again and not in the good way. This writing style talks down to you as if you were too young or stupid to understand it. It doesn’t challenge you and it doesn’t give you a chance to grow! This story’s writing style babies you! It treats you with disrespect and thinks that you aren’t smart enough to figure out anything on your own!

There are so many inconsistencies that contradict its own story or the previous one!

This story can’t stand on its own merits and even if you read the previous one, this doesn’t make any sense!

And yes, as far as writing goes, there are so many spelling and grammar errors that I didn’t even touch! But that’s only because this review has been nearly 30000 words long and there was just so much more wrong that I touched up on, that if I had to point out every little grammar and spelling error, we wouldn’t be halfway through it by now!

This story is one of the worst I’ve read people! This is far worst the first season and it’s only expected to be even more so from here on out.

I just wish… I just wish that … I knew what I was doing all this for… Why do I put myself through this torment? This suffering? What is even the point of it all? Why do I review bad fan fic week after week? … Is this all I have? Why do I do it?

…

…

…

…

Of course…

My name is the Critique. And I review fan fics.

I’m gonna review fan fictions that always suck such dicks!

It doesn’t matter now if it is good or bad.

I wanna make you laugh and help you feel not so sad.

Cause I love to make you L O L (Yes I do.)

It makes my heart tolerate all the hell. (Yes, it does.)

Cause all I really needs an L O L from these happy fans of mine.

I like to read your thoughts. I love to hear you respond.

To see you interact with me is something of I’m quite fond.

But if you’re kind of worried, and you’ve been so hurt in the past,

I’ll work so hard and do my best to make sure that it is the last.

Cause I love to make you laugh, laugh, laugh. (Yes, I do)

I revel in suffering on your behalf.

Just give me a joyful laugh, laugh, laugh and you fill me with good cheer.

It true some critics are just assholes and maybe they made you sad

But Critique is here to show that we aren’t all bad.

There’s one thing that makes me happy and makes all this shit worthwhile!

And that’s when I get to see my friends’ emoticon smile!

I really am so happy! Your comments fill me with glee!

I give my rage, I get a laugh and that’s so special to me!

Cause I love to see you L O L (Yes, I do)

All a story has to do is make me yell (Not that hard)

It makes me happy when you L O L. Yes it always makes my day!

Come on everypony, laugh out loud.

Fill my page up with comments, comments.

All I really needs an L O L from my fans happy response!

Come on everypony, laugh out loud. Come on everypony, laugh out loud.

Fill my page up with comments, comments. Fill my page up with comments, comments.

All I really needs an L O L from my fans happy response! All I really needs an L O L from my fans happy response!

Yes, the perfect give for me Come on everypony, laugh out loud.

is for you to laugh out loud, Fill my page up with comments, comments.

it makes me happy as can be! All I really needs an L O L from my fans happy response!

Laughter, laughter, laughter, laughter, laughter!

Laugh! Come on and laugh! Come on and laugh

…

…

…

… There, NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!

***

A thunderous rumble shook the entire facility followed by a flash of orange light. Starla Shine lips curled into a smile. The explosion was right on time. Her hears took to the sound of the alarms blaring all around her. Guards of all shapes, sizes, and races raced past her trying to get to the other side of the facility.

Starla snuck into one of the hallways and tapped on her earpiece. “Rhymey, phase one complete. Begin Phase two.”

A voice came from her earpiece, “That is what I will do. Move on to phase two.”

She almost rolled her eyes. She hated the way he spoke, but he couldn’t help it. It was driven into his mind that he was to speak that way. Besides, it wasn’t important to their mission. Only Lightning, her beloved, was.

She glanced out a nearby window. As she anticipated the majority of the guards were at the low security wing, where the explosion had taken place. The guards were gathering the prisoners threated by the spreading fire and released them from their cages. Backing them into a nearby wall, guns at the ready. Everything was going according to plan.

She made her way down to the walkway separating the low security from high security. Placing a small stone on the floor, her horn began to glow. The stone began to emanate a light that would fade for a second before lighting up again, like a pulse.

Within a second, another explosion came from the far side of the high security sector. She smiled. All the security officers were off dealing with the fire and the first explosion. And if they were smart, they had already figured out the first explosion was simply a ruse.

Her horn glowed once more as she slowly backed away from the walkway, hiding behind a nearby wall. The small stone levitated off the ground and began to gently float its way across the bridge. After a few moments, she heard the scream of one of the ponies on the other side. “Look out!”

Only a moment later, the stone exploded, ripping a huge chunk of the walkway apart. With that, she rushed down the hallway, making her way to the cells. She knew the explosion would give her a little bit of time and that was all she needed. With the walkway destroyed, only Pegasi would be able to get through and help contain them. If only they would take the Grand Ruler’s gifts of being an Starfleet Officer. But she knew they never would. They weren’t smart enough.

She made her way to one of the cellblocks.

Suddenly, one of the doors burst open with a bolt of lightning. She took a step back as the door slammed against the other side of the wall. Out of the cell, trotted Thunder Ice. “Good to be back,” he stated.

“Thunder,” Starla stated. She wrapped her arms around him. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

Thunder wrapped his hooves around her. “You know it, baby.” He pushed her away. “Just let me have 5 minutes with that librarian and I’ll be great.”

Starla grabbed his hoof. “We have to get Lightning.”

Thunder shook his head and scoffed. “Lightning? You really want to save that guy?”

Starla nodded. “We need to.”

Thunder wrapped his hooves around her, only for her to violently shove them away. “Come on! He’s a loser. You don’t need him! I’m the only reason you’re here, right?”

Starla shook her head. “The Grand Ruler requested only Lightning.” Thunder’s eyes widened as Starla continued. “I convinced him to free you and Daimon.”

Thunder’s eyebrow rose. He shook his head and gave a surrendering sigh. “Alright.”

“Freeze!” a voice came from the hallway. “Hooves on the ground now.” A group of Pegasi stood at the end of the hall, pointing their guns straight at them.

Thunder gave a sinister smile. “Sure thing.” He placed his hooves on the ground as told. Then a bolt of electricity fired from his hooves, sending it straight into the Pegasi’s bodies. They all screamed in agony and tumbled to the ground.

Thunder turned to Starla. “Go save your boyfriend.”

She rushed down the hallway, making her way past cell after cell. The prisoners were getting riled up, rattling the bars and screaming loudly into the hall, demanding to know what was going on. Phase three, she said to herself. But first…

She made her way to cell AO0C. She wondered, since it was Lightning’s number code, if it was done purposely or just a cruel joke by the universe.

Regardless, she appeared to the front of the door. “Lightning!” she cried.

A voice came from the other side. “Starla?! Is that you?!”

Her heart started to quake as she heard his voice. How long had it been since she heard his voice? “Hang on! Back away from the door!”

After a second of waiting, she opened her mouth. “STAR SHOWER!” A blast of magic came from her body, slamming into the door like a battering ram. The door flew open, nearly off its hinges. As the smoke cleared, she saw the image of the tall white Starfleet officer she loved. He looked to her as a smile came to his face.

The two embraced each other in their arms. Starla’s head sank into his chest. “I missed you so much.

Lightning whispered in her ear. “I’ve missed you too.” He leaned in for a kiss, but Starla put up her hand, stopping his lips.

“We can’t stay here. We need to leave,” she stated. “Now.”

Taking him by the arm, she rushed down the hallway. Rhymey should be on his way with the other target they were supposed to free.

A moment later, a loud cry came from down the hall as the wall burst outward sending rubble in front of Starla and Lightning, nearly hitting both of them. As the smoke cleared, a yellow unicorn appeared before them alongside a tall, muscular human.

“Rhymey?” Lightning began eyeing the human. “Who is this?”

Starla put her arm on Lighting’s shoulder. “I’ll explain later. We need to move now.”

Daimon stepped forward. “I’m not going anywhere with you! I need to get back to save Lily!”

Starla glanced to Daimon. “Lily is safe!”

Daimon’s eyes widened as he mouth slowly opened. “Wh-what?”

Starla scoffed and placed her hoof on her head. “I’m sorry, I can’t explain right now! We really need to leave!”

Daimon nodded and turned towards the end of the hall. With a battle cry, he rammed his way through the thick stone wall as if it were made of cardboard. Rhymey followed him. Starla and Lightning stood at the exit as Thunder Ice slid across the floor, skating on the ice trail he made in front of him.

Starla put her hands to her mouth, making an imaginary megaphone. “Thunder, release the electric locks on the cells.”

Thunder nodded as generated electricity throughout the hallway. The bolts of lightning hit the doors dead on, short circuiting the locks and releasing the doors. One by one, each of the prisoners walked out of their cages.

While they contemplated what to do, Lightning, Starla and Thunder Ice retreated through the whole in the wall, where only a few miles out in the forest, their escaped awaited them.