The world is vibrant and full of wonder, but only a blind mare can see the black mist that shrouds us all. Welcome to Ponyville.

Good morning listeners, and it is a “good morning” indeed, as tonight marks the second anniversary of the Ponyville Revolution, the day where all of Ponyville was united under a single mighty, and mysterious rule. It is a time for all of us ponies to remember the heroes who stood up against oppression, and fought for our freedom. And even though all historical documents, as well as any memories of a time before the revolution have mysteriously vanished, I’d say it’s safe to assume that that time was probably really bad, and not worth remembering anyways.

In celebration of the national holiday, the Military Governess has declared that all businesses be closed for the remainder of the day. She also gave a speech on the matter earlier this morning, as she shouted down from her golden throne “It is important for everypony to spend this time at home with their families, where they will be much easier to monitor at all times.” The governess has also announced that all military academies will have the day off, and that all public schools are to be suspended indefinitely.

In other news, Rainbow Dash, that one rainbow maned Pegasus, claims that she saw a zebra wearing a long, black cloak with a dark hood lurking in the shadows of a darkened alleyway. She described the zebra as sinister, baleful, but also genial at the same time. She says that the zebra approached her in the alleyway, and presented her with a peace offering of nightshades, licorice and what appeared to be an ancient book of indescribable value.

The military police would like to remind everypony that zebras are not real. They are creatures of myth and fantasy, and that believing in zebras (as well as all non-pony creatures) is a felony, and any believers in such fictitious creatures will be dealt with accordingly. The military police have already taken Rainbow Dash into custody, where she awaits just punishment for her crimes.

The local Ponyville fillies' soccer team had an exciting day at practice today when a two-ton pineapple magically appeared next to the western goal post. The pineapple stands approximately twelve feet tall, and appears to be emanating a strange, magical aura. Many of the fillies claimed that they could feel a “warm tingling” inside them whenever they looked at the pineapple, one filly described the feeling as “enlightening” and it was “like I could feel the hopes and joys of everypony around me, as if they were my own”. The fillies resumed practice shortly after, seeing as how the pineapple wasn’t interfering with the game. It is unsure what will be done about the pineapple, whether it will stay or be moved, the town council will hold a meeting on Tuesday to decide an appropriate course of action.

The Earth Pony Equality Movement has announced that they will be holding a rally at town hall later today. The movement’s leader, Applejack, told journalists “it is important for ya’ll to see that we earth ponies are a part of this community and that we deserve to be treated fairly.” She also mentioned that there will be apple pie and fresh apple crisps for all participants, and that t-shirts are on sale for fifteen bits. As always the military police will be standing by with hoses to disperse the crowds if the demonstrators get too disorderly or annoying.

Now listeners, I know this is a touchy subject, and I don’t want to get too political with this, but is it right to allow these earth ponies to take over our community like this? After all Ponyville was founded by Unicorns and Pegasi… I think. Who are they to come into our land and tell us that they deserve more? And where does it go from here? Soon they’ll be demanding desegregated bathrooms, or the right to abduct your children to be used as sacrifices for their dark earth pony rituals. Regardless, it is not my place to dictate your political opinions; that is the job of the Military Governess. I can only offer my words of warning, do not trust earth ponies. Do not trust anybody.

Here is some news that has been troubling engineers all morning. Apparently a new study has shown that 75% of bricks in Ponyville are not actually bricks, but in reality are lost souls of innocent victims. Engineers are puzzling over how brick buildings have been able to support themselves being mostly built out of souls, and how nopony has been able to notice this problem for all of these years. Chief engineer, Jim Beam, has stated that they are “working on fixing the problem” and that “there is absolutely no reason to panic.” Plans are already being made to replace the souls with more stable materials like rice cakes and the bones of buried relatives.

We have an update on our earlier report of a Zebra in Ponyville; apparently the fictitious creature has been sighted again, this time nearby Carousel Boutique, the one that has been abandoned for years, and appears to be making her way to the center of town. She has already evaded capture by the military police, and has once again vanished into the shadows. The military police would once again like to remind everypony that the existence of zebras is false, and that any evidence of their actuality are products of black magic. I would like to personally thank everypony who informed us of the location of the zebra; the information you provided was invaluable and you can expect to be arrested within the hour.

The rally for Earth Pony Equality has started without a hitch as thousands of earth ponies have gathered in attendance. There are a number of guest speakers who will be addressing the crowds, including Applejack, Big Macintosh, and the rotting corpse of Granny Smith, who died a year ago. T-shirt sales have exceeded all expectations with half of their stock being sold in the first hour of the demonstration. The military police have only had to make three arrests so far as a small group of fillies had become too unruly. We asked them in an interview to explain their motivations, to which they replied “Cutie Mark Crusader Convicts yay!”

And now for our weekly Ponyville community overview:

Road repairs on Mane Street have finally come to a close after a 6-month construction project; the road will be open to wagons and pedestrians later this afternoon. Repairs on Main Street however are still ongoing and will probably continue for another 2 months.

Fuel prices have dropped this week as natural resources such as unicorn tears have been in high abundance lately. Coal prices are expected to spike later this week as coal reserves continue to be nonexistent.

The Ponyville’s Fillies Soccer League has continued to have a perfect win record, as there still are no other teams for them to play against.

Several noise complaints were filed this week regarding strange, guttural noises that have been coming from the Everfree Forest just beyond the Eastern Barrier. The military police could do little to quiet the noises as the barrier marks the edge of their jurisdiction.

And lastly the TSA is happy to report that the roads are becoming safer as there were no driving related casualties this week. Hospital reports show that all deaths this week were the result of old age, illness, and a healthy amount of police brutality.

And that concludes our weekly Ponyville community overview. It seems to have been a good week for Ponyville this time around, which to me is a breath of fresh air considering how horrible last week’s overview was. So much blood... So much blood.

I would like to take a moment now to talk to all of you about oral hygiene. Reports have been coming in to me from Colgate’s Dentistry and I must say I find the results disgusting. I mean come on people, having healthy teeth is essential to a healthy lifestyle, and it’s not like it’s a difficult task keeping your teeth clean. Simply brush your teeth after every meal, floss regularly, and do not use water from the sink as it is highly irradiated. Remember to brush your teeth for at least two minutes to ensure that your teeth and mouth remain healthy, there should be no tooth left behind in this unending war on tooth decay.

And on that happy note, I give to you… the weather.

"–And with the heroes of the revolution leading the way once again, Ponyville witnessed the dawn of a new era of peace and prosperity, the watchful eyes of the town council keeping ponies safe for all the years to come. The end."

Twilight closed the book, the reverberations flicking the candle flame beside her. She turned over the book and gazed at the cover one more time, "The Heroes of Ponyville" she drew the book to her chest, hugging it, this was a good book, and one of her favorite books on the government's approved reading list.

She rose from her desk; the book clutched in her telekinesis, and then happily trotted over to the book shelf where it had come from. She nuzzled it back into place, between the hundreds of other copies of the exact same book. There were only three books on the government's approved reading list, and so the shelves of her library were filled with hundreds of copies.

She looked out her window to see the moon high up in the sky; night had taken her by surprise. A sudden yawn swept over her.

"Time for bed, Twilight." She said to herself, there was nopony else to talk to anyways, she had always lived by herself, alone in the library. She had often fantasized the idea of keeping an assistant with her in the library, but nobody would want to be her assistant anyways. Ponies in this town didn't like her very much, but who needs friends anyways? These books were all the friends that Twilight needed, and of course there was the Town Council, they were everyone's friends.

For a millennia, Ponyville had suffered under the rule of an evil queen and her wicked sister; together they cast a shadow over ponykind and used fear and violence to enslave everypony in the land. One day a new pony rose to power, a jealous and greedy unicorn who learned the art of spreading lies and channeling dark magic from the queen herself. She demanded that everypony bow before her as well, and this is when the ponies fought back. Revolution spread across the land like wildfire, kindled by the bravery of four mysterious heroes. These heroes led the ponies to arms against the tyrants who had controlled them and swiftly defeated the evil rulers. They quickly established a new government, where Ponyville could bask in the light of its newfound freedom. The heroes, not forgetting their duties to the ponies, formed a Town Council where they could monitor the progress of the new Ponyville. For two years the town council has been there, watching over them, guiding them to a shining new era in pony history. They were even kind enough to wipe everypony's memory of the dark and wicked times under the queens rule, so that they could begin their lives again without a dark shadow of the past looming over them.

Twilight giggled to herself, she had always loved that book, she spent most of her time reading it almost religiously. Not like there were many other books to read. The other two books were "The Council's Commandments" and "Hay Smoothies and More: The Military Governess' Official Cookbook." She gripped the candle from her desk by telekinesis and pulled it to her, the light illuminating the stairway that led to her bedroom.

Her hoof had barely touched the first step when a sudden gust of wind stole the flame from her candle, plunging the library into total darkness. A magical glow emanated from the tip of her horn, driving away the shadows in a powerful purple light. The wind had come from an open window, which had but a moment ago been closed; Twilight closed it quickly. Before another thought could enter her mind, her eye caught sight of something, a book resting on her desk, as if waiting patiently for someone to read it.

That book hadn't been there before. She had carefully put away the book she had been using before, she was certain of it.

"Um, hello?" Twilight asked, brightening her magical light to further pierce the shadows. No pony was there. Minutes passed before Twilight, cautiously, approached the book. It was old, very old, the cover was worn and dusty, the spine was damaged, pages looked as though they were falling out. Twilight blew the dust from the cover, revealing the title in faded, golden letters, "The Elements of Harmony." This was definitely not on the government's approved reading list. She carefully opened the fragile cover of the book, inside the cover was a note written in a bold, foreboding font.

"THEY LIE. EVERYTHING IS WRONG. HIDE THIS BOOK. KEEP IT SAFE. THEY WILL COME FOR IT."

The warning only brought more questions. Who are they? What is this book? Twilight's eyes turned to the window.

Who gave it to me?

Welcome back listeners, I’ve been receiving many complaints over that past few minutes from ponies saying “Hey mister. You never told us before that the water was irradiated.” Well I’ve looked back through my records and I have to say you’re right. I’m sorry. It just completely slipped my mind, and that is totally my bad.  

But should we let a small amount of radiation keep us down? After all, Ponyville is a community where we take our lemons and make lemonade. Just look on the bright side, rodent populations in our sewers are at an all-time low, and there is the possibility that your child may develop super powers after being bathed in radioactive waters. Remember that we are a strong and proud community, and as long as we work together as friends and family we shall remain strong and proud. And I know that we will make it through this, like we will every problem we face as we journey together into the great unknown that is our very existence. And as always…

Good night, Ponyville.

Good night. Next Chapter: Community Outrage Estimated time remaining: 1 Hour, 4 Minutes