Life is a big pile of shit. I have no job. I have no friends.

Maybe it's because I talk like this all the time. I mean, that does make sense.

Naw, life just sucks.

I'm living in a trashcan off the side of a train station. I don't get lullabies, I get fucking train horn things. Are they called sirens? Not sure. I don't think so. Either way, trains suck.

Everything sucks.

Life is a big pile of shit.

Oh wait, I already said that. Damn.

Maybe I should try harder to get friends or get a job, instead of moping at the bottom of a dumpster. Actually, dumpsters are too rich for me. Trash cans. Maybe if I stayed in school. I could afford a dumpster. Not a trashcan.

Actually, no.

School sucks.

School is a big pile of shit.

Hmm...

What if- what if being a better person could help me accomplish my dreams! If I dedicated myself to making others happy, wouldn't I be making myself happier? I could be wealthy not in money but in happiness! Pure joy! I would even be content with living in a trashcan if that happened! WOW! I SHOULD DEDICATE MY LIFE TO HELPING OTHERS!

Wait...

that sounds hard.

Never mind.

Laziness is the best.

Work sucks.

Happiness sucks.

I should probably kill myself or something.

Then people would be all like, "Woah! I feel so bad for that guy! I wish I gave him money and shit while he was alive".

Yeah... that sounds good.

That bridge in the distance looks pretty good. Yeah, I'm going over there.

Walking, walking, walking,

Damn it.

Walking sucks.

OH, at the bridge now. WOW! This is high up. Should I jump? Should I?

Remember the reward brain, remember the reward. If I jump now people will be all like, "WOAH! I wish I gave that guy money!" and shit, and I'll be the famous-ist corpse ever.

Still afraid to jump. Still afraid. Still afraid.

Just remember the worst things about life.

Okay,

Walking

Talking

Moving

Breathing

Working

My Ex-Girlfriend

OH! That last one sealed the deal. Totally. Wow, I'm so glad I'm going to die now. Seriously. I'm not even sarcastic. That lady was terrible. Really, really terrible. In fact, I'm jumping now so I don't have to think about that bitch any longer.

GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD! Here goes!

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