The heavy winds of the Everfree were strong that day. Maybe it was the result of another creature within the vicious forest's influence. Or perhaps it was just the harder-to-control forest's natural processes that had brought it. Whatever the case, Zecora could only brace herself as another spray of water collapsed over her like a wave, shielded by the hooded robe that she wore for such intense types of weather.

As she stepped over another set of exposed roots and narrowly avoided a growing puddle in the path she walked, she couldn't help but wonder how her old friend, Jeremy, was doing. It had been a little over a week since he, alongside those that accompanied him, had left for Canterlot in the hopes of finding more information about what had led to his imprisonment. During that time, she had made true on the promise she had made the one-eyed mare, visiting her home once a day to care for her garden as she had been asked to.

She worried for the group - albeit some members more than others - and she could only hope that they would find the answers that they needed. The sooner they came back safe and sound, the better.

Another powerful gust of wind broke through the cover of trees and canopies, threatening to knock Zecora over as she adjusted her gait to account for the invisible force. She was barely a few minutes away from her destination by now, already beginning to see the far-off wall of brush that separated the small clearing of Halfy's home from the rest of the forest. Her ears were filled with the howling of the skies and storm around her, eager to scare her off lest she incurs their fury.

She had lived long enough within the forest by now to know that this was a mere bluff. Unless the storm brought thunder that shook the earth and lightning that burned the skies, this was little more than a mere cloudburst by Everfree standards. Similarly, she had lived in the Everfree long enough to take note of the fact that something was wrong.

Her ears shifted and twitched as she heard the sounds of movements. Her eyes narrowed as she tried to pinpoint the noise. A list of creatures went through her mind as she slowed herself to a walk, all quickly being crossed out as she narrowed it down more and more.

Eventually, with a small break in the wind, she was able to make out what the noise seemed to have been. As the wall of brush in front of her started to shift under the new forms that broke through it, she could only give out a series of mental curses and grunts as she realized - those were the sounds of hooves and the clattering of armor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There's a phrase that exists in my world. It probably exists here, but I doubt it follows the same... let's say 'word choice' behind it.

It goes 'when shit hits the fan'. The imagery isn't exactly great, I can admit that, but it gets across what you need to know pretty quickly, right? It's a very visceral way of explaining that crap is about to go flying in every which way. Do you know what I mean?

Now, you might be wondering why I'm bringing this up. Well, when you have the pony princess - with the ability to move the goddamn sun - that oversaw your imprisonment and torture looking in your direction, chances are you're going to be thinking the word 'shit' at least once.

I certainly was. Multiplied by a few hundred times.

Nightmare Moon had told me not to panic, and to my credit, I wasn't. I was far too busy being so god damn flabbergasted by the fact that Celestia was there; she stood in front of Halfy, in the middle of some random road in Canterlot, by some random diner out of dozens of restaurants in the city, that just happened to randomly be housing Nightmare Moon, Gilda, Halfy and I as guests.

I sat there slack-jawed, vaguely taking note of the wriggling between my jacket and body as Nightmare Moon seemed to move about in my shadows a lot more viciously. From what I could see, Halfy was no better. With the solar diarch being directly in front of her, I couldn't imagine what was going through her head.

The white alicorn seemingly inched the bit ever so slightly closer to the Halfy, which snapped her out of whatever stupor she had been in quite quickly as she gave a bow.

"O-oh, P-P-Princess Celestia! W-what a surprise t-to see you." Halfy was a mess, practically stumbling over her own words more than I had ever seen her do before. And that's saying something considering the first time I met her, I had pinned her to the ground.

Celestia, for her part, simply gave out a soft giggle. In any other context, I would have said that it sounded nice. As things were though, something in me wanted nothing more than to have her shut the hell up.

She lowered her head until she was on level with Halfy, drawing some ire from both Nightmare Moon and me before she spoke.

"Be at ease, my little pony." She soothed. Halfy raised her head at her words, watching as she continued to offer the stray bit to her in her magical grasp. Halfy blinked, looking between the golden coin and me uncertainly.

I felt myself inhale sharply through my teeth as Celestia returned her gaze to me upon noticing where Halfy was looking. I felt cold while I tried to remind myself over and over that I was disguised at the moment. That she should have no idea who the hell I was.

"Ah," she uttered, "is this pony perhaps a friend of yours?"

Halfy's eyes widened for a moment, as though she suddenly remembered where she was before she spoke up again.

"O-Oh, uh, yes your highness! I was just out having a meal with my f-f-friend here."

Celestia rose her gaze at this. I could see a look of astonishment on her as she took a moment or two to look at the skies above us.

"So late at night?" She pressed, casual as can be. At this, Halfy paused again. She looked at me pleadingly, hoping I had some kind of answer. And while I didn't, someone else did.

The familiar wriggling sensation below my jacket returned as I felt my mind bounce backward like a tennis ball again. My mouth opened without me as I vaguely saw Nightmare Moon's visage next to me again.

"Indeed." I heard her say with my voice. "It has been... a long day, as it were." She spoke slowly, trying her best not to slip in her old accent in front of Celestia.

In the meantime, I was doing my best just to wake myself the hell up. The fact that Nightmare Moon had to take over my body again just because I had frozen up wasn't exactly a fun concept. I wanted to do something. So, I focused as much as I could, hoping as much as I could that I could send a message or two out while Nightmare Moon kept Celestia occupied.

"Gilda, Halfy, can you two hear me?"

I saw Halfy flinch ever so slightly and I could swear I heard the faint sound of a familiar squawk come from inside of the diner. Celestia didn't seem to notice, being much more focused on Nightmare Moon and I.

"Ah, of course. You have my apologies, I am simply not used to seeing my citizens out and about at night." She rolled a hoof vaguely, that same motherly smile on her face as she gives out a lighthearted chuckle. "Though I must say, it certainly does my heart proud to see the occasional pony enjoying my dear sister's night."

Whatever equivalent to a pony's grip I had was tightened as Nightmare Moon did her best to seem calm and collected. Evidently, she had hit a nerve.

It was at this point that I got a response from both Halfy and Gilda.

"Y-Yes Jeremy, I can hear-"

"WHAT THE HAY, DUDE? I NEARLY FELL IN!"

Again Halfy flinched while I just tried to rub whatever mental equivalent to temples I had as Gilda shouted into the back of my and Halfy's heads. For a second, I wondered what she had supposedly almost fallen into. Then again, she had said that she was going to use the bathroom, so...

This wasn't exactly the time to think about that though. Nor would it ever be.

"Look, you both need to get out of here. Now."

Again, I heard my voice as Nightmare Moon spoke. There was some sharpness to it this time.

"This seems... sensible..."

"Eh? Why the sudden rush?"

"P-p-princess C-Celestia is here..."

"You're kidding?!"

I was barely able to keep my attention between the two different conversations going on. It was like trying to stare at two different things at once. Sure, you can technically do it. But the more focused you are on both things at a time, the more starts to slip. You start missing smaller details, losing out on important facts, before eventually you're just staring blankly ahead of you and dealing with some hellish eye strain.

I had tried making multiple measurements for blueprints at the same time more than enough times to know that.

Nightmare Moon shifted somewhat in our seat, facing forwards and collecting the remaining bits from the pile we had left on the table. She addressed Celestia as simply as she possibly could.

"Well, if... th- you would'st- would not mind... we must be going now." Despite her attempts to act casual, her dialect slipped through just a bit. If Celestia had noticed though, she was doing a damn good job of hiding it.

The white alicorn gave a nod. One so small that one might have simply thought it to be a twitch and nothing more if they weren't paying attention.

"Why, certainly! I myself know just how nice it is to rest after such difficult days." Her smile broke by just a tad, giving way to a blank expression. "Unfortunately, I have not been able to do it as easily at present." I could feel icicles in my veins as her voice shifted to reflect her expression. Cold, calculating, certain. All these words popped up in the back of my head at once. Then, just as swiftly as it had appeared, the smile from before returned and quickly hid away the little slip of her mask she had allowed to peek through.

I noticed Halfy shudder, her eye shrinking as she suddenly couldn't bring herself to look at the princess that had ruled over her as far as she could remember. I guess that was her first time witnessing her princess act in such a way. It was my first time too, but then again, I hadn't been raised under the idea that she was this being of pure kindness and righteousness that she likely had been.

That spurred me on to act faster.

"Halfy, head back home and warn Chrysalis to be on the lookout. Gilda, she hasn't seen you. We'll use that to our advantage, but you'll have to walk out and leave like you were on your own. Don't even acknowledge me as you leave, got it?"

"I'm not gonna just bail on you, J." Gilda stated, her tone even as she spoke. I took in the closest thing I could to a breath at the moment. While I was appreciative of her loyalty, this really wasn't the time.

"Trust me. It's important that you do this. Just in case."

"W-what about you?" This time Halfy's voice came through, alongside an image of her giving me the closest equivalent to puppy dog eyes I had ever seen in a pony. I couldn't help but snicker at it. It wasn't like Celestia would hear it while I wasn't the one in control of my own body.

"I have an alicorn literally using me as a human-pony meat puppet. I think we'll be fine."

"If you would not mind though," Celestia suddenly chimed in, "it has been quite some time since I have taken a... break of sorts. And while the royal gardens are certainly nice, one cannot help but find a sort of simple comfort in mingling with the other ponies of the kingdom."

Nightmare Moon forced a smile on our face, but I could feel the contempt behind it. For a moment, I wondered if it was hers or my own. I felt a presence in my mind as she and I seemed to come to a silent understanding. It wasn't one I was particularly happy about, but it was an understanding nonetheless.

"We have no doubt." She said simply, gesturing a hoof over to the seat directly across from us. "Would... you like to join us?" I could feel my heart pounding in Nightmare Moon and I's currently shared chest as she spoke. This was a bit of a gamble we were taking over what could very well have been nothing. But something just wasn't sitting right about this. We needed Halfy and Gilda to get out of here. Fast.

As if sensing this urgency from me, Nightmare Moon turned to face Halfy, giving her the first real smile we had since Celestia had arrived.

"Apologies, but would you be so kind as to go on without... me? We will meet again soon." For a moment, Halfy blinked, a look of concern etched on her face as she took only a half step away. With a nod and gesture from Nightmare Moon though, she returned a nod of her own before she stiffly began to leave.

"H-have a g-good night, y-your highness." She said, giving one last bow to Celestia as she walked past the diarch. Celestia returned the farewell with a kind bob and smile of her own. The bit that had been floating in her magical grasp all this time spun a few times as she looked towards it the same way a person would an ant crawling on the ground.

Nightmare Moon and I watched as the bit floated over to us, landing in the small pile we had on the table. Still, our gaze was mostly focused on the alicorn before us. Our eyes narrowed as her horn glowed ever so slightly brighter, enveloping her in a faint magical aura. For a moment, I wondered what had just happened. Nightmare Moon was quick to clue me in though, apparently recognizing the spell.

A perception-blocking spell. It was an advanced illusion spell that made it so that, for some time, nobody would be able to see her save for whoever had seen her cast the spell.

I felt my body tense, practically ready to jump out of its own skin, as Celestia made her way over to us. The tendrils of shadow against the inside of my jacket were practically jolting around like lightning at this point, reacting to Celestia's presence like a pack of wolves to an intruder.

With practiced grace, Celestia sat across from us. She did not bother using the stool, seeing as it had not been made to accommodate the sizes of alicorns, but she still could sit nicely over the height of the table despite this. Her nostrils flared as she closed her eyes and took in a breath, her smile from before still on her face.

For a moment, it was silent while Nightmare Moon and I just stared at her.

In a weird way, I felt like this was some kind of chess game. One between two powerful beings that I had somehow been roped into.

"I must say," Celestia finally spoke, still not opening her eyes, "I did not expect you to be this daring, Nightmare Moon."

Celestia had just moved forward with her first pawn.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The guard couldn't help but flinch every time he heard so much as a twig snap around him. His ears were swiveling constantly, making doubly sure that there was nothing that would be missed by even the slightest moment of carelessness. For the life of him, he couldn't understand why the other blue and silver armor-clad guards around him had been acting so calm and collected.

Granted, yes, they had been in the service for much, much longer than he had, but this was still the Everfree forest they were talking about. Nopony who had even the slightest knowledge of Equestria and its inner workings wasn't at least somewhat aware of the horrors of this Celestia-forsaken place. And just to make sure that they were aware, the briefing that all of the guards selected for this mission had more than filled them in on what they might expect.

Which, obviously, did little to dissuade the stallion's concerns.

He could vaguely hear the sounds of the guards that were in the small home behind him, searching through every nook and cranny of the hovel. He, in the meantime, busied himself keeping an eye around the clearing around them. Just as he had been ordered to by the commander of this seek and capture mission.

For a moment, he could almost swear that he saw movement near the edge of his vision, his leathery wings flapping for a moment as he forced himself to remember his training and stay put. If Princess Luna had seen a member of her guard acting in such a way, the stallion was certain there would be words.

Mainly the type of words one would have to put in their will moments before their head was chewed off.

Taking in a breath to calm himself, the stallion reared a hoof and lightly kicked against the wooden door behind him.

"Anything yet?" He inquired, allowing himself to glance to the wooden door behind him for all of a second before returning his gaze to the large wall of shrubbery that surrounded the clearing, as though it would suddenly spring to life when he did not gaze upon it.

The response he gained was muffled, as one would expect. But he was able to make it out nonetheless.

"Primary and secondary targets are negative. So far the house seems clean of anything useful, but we're still looking."

A scowl made its way onto the stallion's face as he heard this. The idea that they had come to this forest for nothing was a less than pleasing thought, causing him to shift in place. He was certain his superior might think the same. He wondered if they were having any luck in their search, but ultimately was interrupted from his thoughts as the voice of another guard echoed through the inside of the home.

"Private, I can hear you fidgeting out there." The stallion suddenly stood himself upright and at attention, just as he had been trained to do. Well, less trained, and more conditioned whenever his commanding officers would come by to yell his ears off for doing something wrong. In truth, he highly doubted that the other thestrals could truly hear him fidgeting, but it never hurt to be sure.

"If you're so anxious to move, fine. Make yourself useful and check that garden the princess told us about in her briefing." As if by instinct, the stallion saluted, paying no mind to the fact that as far as he knew nopony was around to see him.

"Understood, sir." He provided, slipping into the same professional voice he would use whenever he would address a citizen during night court. Oddly enough, it was somewhat therapeutic for him to slip into that tone from time to time. It was much the same as when one would do a job for long enough that, before long, they could go through the motions without really thinking about it.

He wasn't quite at that point yet, still being relatively fresh to the force, but at the very least it assured him that he was a trained and capable individual, at least by practical standards.

His plated armor clanked and clicked as he walked away from his prior assignment and towards the new one. Fortunately for him, despite the fact that he was leaving the close proximity of his squad, he could recall several mentions of the garden area in particular apparently being rather peaceful and clear. Something about a veritable amalgamation of thorns surrounding a notable portion of the plants annoying most animals enough to leave it alone. He wasn't sure of the details, he was just aware of where he was going and why he was doing so.

Once more he took in a breath, eyes focused as he took the predetermined path before him.

Before long, he came across a collection of edible plant life and vegetation, more or less organized into rows along a relatively well-kept garden. His gaze wandered left. He saw nothing. His gaze wandered right. Yet again, nothing.

By all accounts, he had just finished doing as he was asked. Still, he had been drilled to follow proper procedure. And so he would, if only to make sure he didn't fall into the poor habit of not doing so. It's all fun and games until the one time he becomes complacent and gets a metal torch to stand to the head like he had heard happened to ol' Glass Cannon a few months ago.

He paced back and forth between the rows of the garden, his ears still on a constant swivel and eyes moving left and right while he searched for anything of use. Once more, he heard the snap of twigs. Once more, his head darted in the direction it had come from. Once more... he was met with nothing. Nothing save for a clearing of groves and vines that formed a small pathway along the side of the garden.

He grimaced, finishing the last steps of his search before making his way down the pathway he had heard the noise come. He could swear he heard movement around him as he continued down the winding path. A voice in the back of his head told him to turn around and regroup with his squad. To gather reinforcements just in case there was danger ahead.

But another voice told him that he was a member of the Lunar Guard. He shouldn't flee from danger. He should face it head-on. He should make his princesses proud.

He elected to listen to the latter of the two voices.

Before long, he came across what seemed like a dome of thick branches and overgrown roots that formed a small dark dome at the end of the path. A small opening led inside.

He steeled himself for a moment, feeling the armor weighing upon him as reassurance now more than ever, before walking inside.

He was alert as he looked to and fro, waiting for any sign that the movement he had been hearing earlier would finally make itself known. All he received, however, was the sight of an empty dome of plant life with a portion of the ground that seemed to more recently have been dug out.

He rose a brow at this, unsure of what to make out of what to make of the sight. Had he been quicker, he just might have spotted the silhouette of a robed zebra making her way back into the deeper parts of the Everfree, balancing a carefully wrapped vase atop her back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So, will there be anything else I can get you?" The mare asked, her wings shifting ever so slightly as she addressed Nightmare Moon and I. I could feel my head shake and a small polite smile make its way onto my lips.

"We thank you, but that will be all." Nightmare Moon responded with my voice. She gently pushed the small pile of bits I had separated prior towards the waitress. "It would not be untoward to ask that we remain seated here for just a while longer, would it?"

The waitress skillfully swept and tucked the bits into the folds of her wing. If it wasn't obvious just how experienced at her job she had been before, watching her take a collection of solid gold coins and make them disappear into the small space between her wings and her barrel without so much as a sound had definitely solidified it.

"No problem at all! Plenty of customers like to just relax here during the quieter times of the day. Though, I may need to come by and ask you to move so I can wipe down the tables for other customers in half an hour." Nightmare Moon gave out a pleasant chuckle at this, waving a hoof through the air.

"That will not be an issue. We shall not be long." She assured. The mare gave a nod at this, once more thanking us for our business and wishing us a good night before she went off into the diner. More than likely, she still had other customers to attend to.

For a moment, both Nightmare Moon and I just watched her until she was out of our direct line of sight. Once she was gone though, Nightmare Moon turned our shared heads so that we were looking directly ahead of us again.

Celestia, still holding that same gentle smile on her face, had still been looking in the direction that the mare had gone.

"I must say, that was quite a generous tip of you to provide." She tittered. Neither Nightmare Moon nor I were entertained.

As Nightmare Moon had figured, the waitress hadn't noticed the alicorn's presence at the table at all. That spell she had cast was certainly impressive, to say the least. Course, it would probably seem a lot more interesting to me at the time if I wasn't figuratively dying inside.

I was still dealing with the fact that Celestia apparently knew that it was Nightmare Moon that was controlling me at the time. It also didn't take a genius to figure out that she likely knew that we were here well in advance. It would have been way too much of a coincidence for her to have been there otherwise. And say what you want about Equestria and all of its craziness, even those weird coincidences the place is known for have limits before they arent 'coincidences' anymore.

I was barely even able to get Gilda to sneak off as I had asked her to with a few more mental messages before the waitress had come by and interrupted whatever train of thought I might have had.

Thankfully, despite my perfectly calm and not-at-all-incredibly-panicked state of mind, Nightmare Moon was more than happy to take the reigns in the conversation.

... God damn it, humans have too many horse-related phrases...

"Spare us the frivolities, 'sister'." She responded without missing a beat. " 'Tis painfully obvious that thou art here for more than to exchange pleasantries." Her tone was even and precise as she spoke, like a parent addressing their child when they do something wrong. It was certainly different from what I had heard from her before, but definitely not unwelcome considering the circumstances.

Celestia, for her part, showed no obvious outward reaction. Though I could swear that her ear twitched ever so slightly when Nightmare Moon had called her 'sister'.

"I suppose I can appreciate just how straightforward you are being. It's rather reminiscent of the last time that we met face to face, in a way." Celestia mused. This earned a smirk from Nightmare Moon as she leaned forward against the table. For a moment, an image of Celestia being blasted by a beam of concentrated magic entered my mind.

"Ah, we suppose thou refers to the night of our return? When we banished thee in the depths of our Nightmare Realm?" I blinked at that. Well, as close to blinking as I could manage from where I was watching this. I was... dealing with a lot of conflicting feelings, right about now.

Celestia's ear twitched yet again, this time much more noticeably than before.

"Quite." She replied simply, a deadpan expression breaking through the facade of a smile she had been holding up until then. She took in a breath through her nose, Nightmare Moon and I watching in silence as she used the opportunity to gather herself.

Before long, that same smile came up yet again. It was so god damn grating to see it at this point. It was like I was getting poked over and over again with a stick. It didn't really hurt, per se, but it just got more and more annoying.

"Speaking of, I must say, I'm somewhat surprised to see that you are refraining from spreading your nightmares and illusions to the general populace. And for that, you have my gratitude."

Despite Nightmare Moon's previous request, Celestia was yet again beating around the proverbial bush. Whatever panic I might have had at this point was very quickly just turning into that feeling you get when a mosquito keeps flying just close enough to your ear that you can hear it, but never staying long enough for you to swat it.

I could tell Nightmare Moon was feeling similarly, what with the fact that she let out a poorly hidden growl with my body.

"I will be blunt." She then said, which I doubted, "I have come here to... negotiate."

This earned a raised brow from both Nightmare Moon and me.

"Negotiate? The fuck does she mean by that?" I asked into the void that was my currently occupied mind. Nightmare Moon's voice served as the void's answer.

"We are... unsure." As if to mimic her curiosity, I felt my mouth open to say something. Before we could though, Celestia simply raised a hoof to stop us.

"Allow me to explain." Just as smoothly as she raised her hoof, she lowered it down to the table alongside her other foreleg, holding them together as she spoke. "You see, as one of the rulers of this country, it is my duty to ensure the safety of all of my citizens. Everypony looks to me for a number of things. Guidance, hope," she narrowed her eyes ever so slightly, "and safety."

"And our presence disrupts that, we take it?" Nightmare Moon retorted, her tone still even. Celestia nodded sagely.

"Of course. Were it up to me, my ponies would live their lives happily and fully, knowing well and good that they would find happiness, fulfill whatever purposes the harmony of our land deigned to provide them, start families, and pass that happiness onto their next of kin."

"Does she ramble like this all the fucking time?" I found myself asking. I was pretty fresh out of patience, and frankly, I wasn't inclined to think about how ironic it was that I was the one asking this.

"Verily. From what we recall of our former life, she does so whenever she finds herself stressed or her mind occupied."

I had a very visceral reaction to the idea that she apparently had the same bad habit that I did. One that involved pretending to slam my face into a wall over and over again. All things considered, that probably would have been more productive than that conversation was becoming.

"The point, 'sister'." Nightmare Moon interrupted, raising our voice for a moment as she evidently was starting to lose patience too. Celestia didn't even flinch this time.

"I am well aware that you likely have... goals that you would like to accomplish. And while I cannot exactly allow them to pass if they would endanger any of my subjects, I am willing to make certain concessions if we can go about resolving this whole matter as peacefully and quietly as possible."

"Concessions?" Nightmare Moon repeated as I felt one of my body's brows raise. "As we recall, 'twas not an interest of Equestria's princesses to make 'concessions' when regarding our enemies. Peace talks and token delegations, aside."

"Times have changed. We have changed. You are simply a relic of the past, is all. A peek at simpler, more regretful times." She very pointedly looked us over, pausing for a moment as she took everything in. An odd glint flashed in her eyes for a moment, but it just as quickly disappeared. "A time where we... where I made many mistakes."

To Nightmare Moon's credit, she didn't seem to provide any real reaction to what Celestia said. I, on the other hand, was fucking fuming.

"Thou deigns to pretend thou makes no mistakes anymore?"

"Hardly. But I do my best to keep them and the suffering those mistakes would bring about to an absolute minimum."

A 'minimum'. What an absolute joke. I had so many thoughts brewing in my head, so many words flashing in front of me all at once, it was overwhelming. Over and over I would start some kind of sentence in my head only to have it interrupted by another, then another. Eventually, I realized that I had way too much in mind to just sit on the sidelines anymore.

"Tag out." I felt my body freeze for a moment.

"Sir Jeremy?"

"Tag out," I repeated. "let me take control for a bit."

There was a vague sense of confusion and uncertainty I could feel coming from Nightmare Moon as I spoke, but to her credit, she didn't question me. Instead, I felt the now concerningly familiar sensation of my brain being shot around like a pinball before all sensation in my limbs suddenly returned to me. I forced my eyes shut for a bit, rubbing my foreleg against them while I wiped away what small spots clouded my vision.

"Feel not afraid to seek our aid should you need it." Nightmare Moon offered. I physically nodded, sending her the closest mental image to a thumbs up that I could manage.

By the time I opened my eyes again, Celestia was looking at me with a vaguely confused expression. I took a breath before I spoke.

"Good to know I'm apparently a minimum expense." Her eyes widened for a moment. Evidently, she hadn't expected that response. "Also - and I can't believe I have to restate this for her - I'd really appreciate it if you just moved the hell on and said what you need to say."

For a moment, she just sat there wide-eyed. It wasn't long though before her expression shifted again. This time, much to my confusion, she seemed almost sad.

"Ah. Human. It is troubling to see that you truly have aligned yourself with the other two as reports have-"

"The. Fucking. Point." I really wasn't interested in whatever else she had to say about Chrysalis and Nightmare Moon. Frankly, at this point I just wanted this to be over with.

Again, she paused for a moment, looking at me with a troubled expression. Thankfully, she relented.

"Allow yourself to be placed in exile from society with supervisional check-ins, Nightmare Moon to have her magic permanently limited, and the changeling queen to once more be imprisoned." The table shook as I all but slammed my forelegs against it and stood on my seat.

"Excuse me- Are you outta your- What the f-"

"Tag out." Nightmare Moon's voice interrupted my several failed attempts at some kind of sentence. Evidently, she was making use of a newly acquired term I had just given her. I could just barely notice the fact that my heart was pounding in my eardrums. If I had knuckles, I have no doubt in my mind they would be white from how hard my hands would be balled up.

I wanted to keep going - to get some kind of response out that would effectively let the princess know what the hell I thought about her stupid suggestion. That wouldn't have been fair though. Nightmare Moon had trusted me to take over when I asked, so I would do the same for her.

I sat down with a huff as I felt shadows move along the space between my jacket and skin. Before long, I was a spectator once again to my own body.

"... And what benefit would we possibly have to gain from following such dubious demands?" Celestia raised both her forelegs, letting whatever pony equivalent to elbows rest on the table while she rested her head against her folded hooves.

"You know as well as I that your mere existence after being cleansed by the Elements of Harmony is little more than an oddity. By all means, the ancient magic of the elements should have wiped you away alongside any other impurities that had been plaguing my sister." She leaned forward as she spoke, her voice becoming a whisper. "There is no guarantee this would happen again. At best, you would be imprisoned in stone or sent back to the moon. At worst, the elements would find you too corrupt to save, and you would well and truly be purged from this world."

Again, to Nightmare Moon's credit, she didn't react to this. Even as Celestia threatened what I could only really equate to as her death.

...

Sorry, needed a moment. It's not a very fond memory of mine.

"And what of the changeling and human? What would be their benefits to this agreement?"

"The changeling can just as easily be turned to stone, if not banished elsewhere from whence she could not return. There would be no guarantee of her survival there." I scoffed at the idea of imprisonment being something that you could even somewhat consider 'survival'. Especially if they did the same to her as they had done to me. "As for the human? While he would still be overseen in his exile, I can imagine it would prove preferable to have them roaming about freely as opposed to housed within a cell."

Nightmare Moon gave a thoughtful stare, taking in what she had just been told while I rolled my figurative eyes. She was definitely better at having a poker face than I was. Then again, life as a princess probably calls for that.

"The changeling is... understandable. 'Tis a quite problematic species if left unchecked. Even a single queen has the potential to create a swarm. However, one thing eludes us. What is thine interest in the human? From what we have seen, there seems to be little danger regarding them. Yet, they are given royal priority." Nightmare Moon made a show of appearing as absolutely casual as she spoke, allowing our gaze to drift off to the tops of one of the nearby buildings with a bored expression. The both of us saw movement there as she did, but she pretended otherwise.

If I had to guess, Celestia wasn't quite as alone as we had figured.

"The reasons of the crown are just that. Reasons of the crown."

"Tag out." Again, I was thrown into control.

"In other words, you don't want to tell us. Christ, don't give us that political 'evasion of the question' crap."

"There is much more behind it than that."

"Tag out." Again, I was a spectator.

"And what, pray tell, would thou believe this 'more behind it' to be?"

"I am in no position to share this at the moment."

"Tag out." Control.

"Bullshit. You're the fucking princess. There is literally nobody you answer to except yourself."

"Yet you would expect me to answer to you?"

"Tag out." Spectator.

"We would if thou would prefer these negotiations to proceed anywhere meaningful."

I don't know how long we did this. Swapping in and out whenever either of us had something to add that the other didn't. It felt oddly natural. The two of us were pretty much filling in whatever that the other lacked. Nightmare Moon provided the cold and calculated political responses to keep the conversation flowing naturally back to the negotiation, while I bluntly called her out on whatever deflection or non-answer she tried to give.

Weird as it is to say, it was kind of nice. For a while, I even started to forget where the boundaries between her mind and mine were split. And I didn't mind that. At some point though, two things happened.

For one, Celestia sighed.

The second thing to happen was a lot more subtle. Nice as it was to be working so well with Nightmare Moon, there was a bit of a side effect to me constantly having my brain bouncing forwards and backward between being in control of my own body and watching everything like a movie screen. Having my consciousness being used like a hockey puck wasn't exactly a pleasant experience, and it was really starting to get to me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After an entire week of cleaning out an entire castle based on some arbitrary standards, as well as having to return home to deal with whatever idiocy awaited, I figured that peace and quiet were exactly what I had needed. Granted, I couldn't allow myself to fall asleep. The spell I had cast on Jeremy wasn't a particularly long-lasting one on its own, so I needed to keep some semblance of focus on it to keep it going. The distance they had gained from me didn't help, but it was manageable.

Still, it was meant to be a time that I could pass the time and allow my mind to go blank. And it was. For all of thirty minutes.

Boredom is a funny little thing. It pops up at seemingly random times, almost with the express purpose of making you regret doing whatever had brought it about. Yet, sometimes, you just as swiftly end up regretting satiating said boredom with whatever might have been convenient.

Jeremy's home didn't exactly provide much in the form of entertainment either. There was a couple of old discarded newspapers from months ago, but outside of that, there was nothing else. I couldn't help but miss the time in which I had an entire hive to cater to my every whim. Sometimes my drones would take on the roles of jesters, bringing about whatever mirth that they could through acts of slapstick and mimicry. Other times, my more experienced hive members would use some of the knowledge they had gathered from mingling with ponies, griffons, and minotaurs to provide a variety of spa-quality treatments. A particular favorite of mine had been something they had picked up from watching the minotaurs, which involved an oddly relaxing exercise focused on the part of my chitin where my wings met my body.

Even as I thought back to it, I found my wings absentmindedly escaping their place beneath their covering. They flittered and buzzed for a moment as I realized just how long it had been since I had made any real use of them. Flying wasn't exactly the most viable option for quite some time and now wasn't any different, even if the reason was distinct.

In my time alone, I must have wandered through each and every room in the house looking for something to occupy myself. I sat on every chair, often in different positions. I looked through every cabinet, often finding rather bland or basic things as I did so. Though I did find some mild amusement when I found something in a magazine hidden behind a few cleaning products under the sink. One that I could most certainly use against a certain human at a later date. I even made use of the opportunity presented to rest in a bed for the first time in what felt like ages.

Unfortunately, I couldn't stomach being in it for too long, seeing as it positively reeked of the human's scent.

I did take one of the pillows though. 'For comfort', I had told myself. That it was 'marginally better than the cushions that were on the couch of the home'. I ultimately settled on sitting atop all of the couch cushions stacked together alongside one of Jeremy's bed pillows as a sort of throne.

I digress though.

For some time, I wondered how long the others would be out. Not because I missed their company, obviously. They were the ones I was taking the time off from, after all. But more so because I had my doubts that they could go more than a few minutes without doing something stupid what with the griffon being by their side.

Much to my chagrin, I found this concern proven right when I sensed a flurry of powerful emotions approaching. Panic, fear, and concern, all meshed together like some poorly constructed tempest of anxiety and fuss. I watched as the emotions grew closer and closer, hoping beyond hope that it was unrelated to me.

"Don't knock... Don't knock... Don't knock-" There was a hysterical series of raps against the door to the house. "EMPRESS DAMN IT."

To say that I had been tempted to simply ignore the noise and pretend I had never heard it would be an understatement. I sighed as I nonetheless removed myself from my position on my cushiony throne and walked to the door. In case it was indeed just some random pony that had come by, I made sure to change my form to that of my work identity as an earth pony mare.

"Alright already, keep your horseshoes set!" I yelled, opening the door as I did so. No sooner than I had barely cracked it open, however, did the familiar bandage-wearing pony all but gallop past me into the room. I only barely kept myself from falling over in surprise before turning to glare at the pony-shaped bulldozer. "You have ten seconds to explain why you would dare to-"

"J-J-Jeremy and N-Nightmare Moon- At the restaurant- D-Dropped a bit- W-Went to p-p-pick it up- C-C-Celestia!" She stammered, her lungs heaving as she tried in vain to get some kind of message across. I could feel myself lean my head back just a tad as I narrowed my eyes at the poor attempt at speech that was being portrayed before me.

"What? What in Tartarus are you saying?" She made to speak again, her breaths just as quick and haphazard as before. This time though, I stopped her. I raised a hoof to her muzzle, shutting her mouth before she could murder the common language any further. Evidently, that didn't stop her from hyperventilating, as was evident by the rapid breathing I felt against my hoof from her snout. "Breathe. Then, you can talk."

I leaned forward, making sure her eye met mine.

"You're no use to me if you pass out now. Understand?" I felt her still under my gaze and my hoof. Eventually, she nodded, and I soon felt her breathing slowly more and more. It was only once I believed her to be fully calmed that I removed my hoof from her mouth. "Better?"

She nodded again.

"Good, now, just what happened?" She took in another breath, as though making sure that she had gotten everything out of her system before she went about explaining everything.

When she mentioned Celestia, I thought for a moment that she was joking. But I could see her emotions. I had been seeing those emotions since she had rushed through the door in a panic. She wasn't joking. She was deadly serious. And at the moment, so was I.

I kept silent as she spoke, taking in everything she said and just trying my best to unravel the mess it brought into my head. I was used to high-stress situations like this. Being given information that was less than optimal and being asked what should be done next. Being the queen of a species that is constantly starving and craving more will do that to you.

Why would Celestia have even been there was one of the things that I focused on first. There was no way in Equestria that she had just happened upon that restaurant by accident. The odds of her recognizing Jeremy were also exceptionally low, seeing as he had been disguised at the time. Even less so Halfy and Gilda. The two were, by all means, completely unrelated individuals to the three of them. One guess was that she had some means of tracking everyone down in advance. But that made no sense. There were no signs of anyone following them up until now. Yes, they were living in the old home of Jeremy, however who was to say that the home had not simply been under new ownership at the time? Ponies moved all the time.

That was a conundrum that could be resolved later.

Another more pressing thought made itself present as Halfy mentioned that Jeremy and Nightmare Moon had asked her and Gilda to simply leave them behind. I barely withheld a sneer, promising myself that I would drench those two in ice water if they came back. And if they didn't, that I'd hunt them down and all but drown them in it. There was also the fact that Gilda was not yet here, despite also being asked to leave. I chalked that up to her leaving separately for now. If that wasn't the case, I would deal with that bridge when I crossed it. Something else was bothering me about this though. On the off chance that Celestia was aware of who Jeremy and Nightmare Moon were, and that this was all planned out, why would she have simply left somepony who was interacting with them leave?

"... Were you followed?" I asked plainly. Halfy blinked as she stared back at me.

"I-... w-what?" I kept myself from groaning in frustration, but just barely. I really wasn't in the mood to repeat myself.

"Were. You. Followed?" I repeated nonetheless, this time making sure to give ample pause between my words to make sure I could not be misheard. Halfy, in response, simply opened her mouth. No words came out as she seemingly searched for them. Once more, I could see emotions of panic flaring up within her as she realized that she didn't have an answer. I felt my muzzle twitch as I started to concoct possible backup plans and escape paths. Something else I had grown used to doing.

Before even one of them could be done though, there was another knock at the door. This one was much more authoritative and demanding. Beyond it, I saw a confusing mass of emotions. It wasn't that it looked like one individual, but an amalgamation of several that were all bunched together.

"Yo! Open the bucking door already! I'm not in the mood to find out if I can pick locks with my talons again." I heard a familiar voice ring out. I cringed at the thought that I was partially relieved it was the griffon.

I made my way over and opened it, slightly at first, before meeting my gaze with the griffon. She seemed tired. Exhausted even. The feathers on her head were protruding in all directions, scuffs of dirt and grime littered her body, and I could see that she was slightly favoring her right forearm. Yet, despite this, there was an odd sense of pride oozing from her.

"Quiet, before all of Equestria knows you're here!" I whispered as loudly as I could, just barely keeping my volume at a level that couldn't be considered shouting. "What took you so long anyways?"

The griffon rolled her eyes, using her body to shove the rest of the door open and to walk past me. As she did, I noticed a pair of wriggling masses balanced atop her back.

"Well, excuse me. But someone needed to up the cool factor of the place in the only way that a certain human figured I could handle." With a grunt, she all but threw the masses on her back to the floor of the living room. Halfy and I could only stare with wide eyes as a pair of pegasus struggled against ropes and restraints they had been bound in, keeping their hooves, wings, and mouths from being unable to do anything effective. The two had white and gold armor adorning them identifying them as members of Celestia's day guard, though there were more than a few dinks, dents, and scrapes littered throughout them. As one of the pegasi looked to Halfy almost pleadingly while the other looked between me and Gilda with as much anger and hatred as they could muster, I could only blink.

"... How did you-"

"Apparently J kinda figured something was up, so he had me keep an eye out in case Halfy was being tailed. I got the jump on 'em, but," she took a step to the guard glaring at us and shoved him back down, "the one tailing me tried to do the same." She straightened out a few of her loose feathers with her claws, occasionally wincing as she felt one come loose uncomfortably.

"And where did you get the rope?" I asked.

"Oh my Celestia, we k-kidnapped two members of the guard..." I barely heard Halfy whisper. Evidently, she was in a state of shock from the whole thing. The griffon didn't seem to take note of this. She shrugged her shoulders as she answered.

"Construction site not that far from here. Had to take a detour when one of 'em tried to clobber me outta the air." While I had several more questions, and believe me I did, I would be hard-pressed to ignore a very clear opportunity before me. Right here, before my eyes, were two members of one of the princess's personal guards. They had no means of escape, no means of calling for help, and most importantly, they were pegasus. In other words, they had no means of combatting magic. I could feel a smirk make its way on my muzzle as I realized what I had before me.

A source of information.

I shed my pony disguise, allowing myself to stand in my true form before the two hog-tied ponies. The pony that had been panicking before seemed even more eager to escape the ropes binding them. The one that just prior had been so gung ho about showing their anger suddenly faltered.

"Right. Well, I can honestly say I am pleasantly surprised by how decently you did, griffon." Said griffon snickered.

"Really? That's the closest thing to a compliment I get for taking down two trained guards? No bowing at my awesomeness? No 'wow Gilda, you're the absolutely coolest thing this side of the world'? Nothin?" I decided not to justify any of that with a response. For now. Later, yes. Now though? I had ponies that I needed to intimidate.

"Why don't you and Halfy head to one of the other rooms for a bit? Take some time, get some air, all of that. I do believe you've earned it." This particular recommendation earned a raised brow from the griffon. I could also vaguely - just vaguely - sense a small twinge of concern coming from her. I took pride in that.

"You uh... you good there, bug breath?" I ignored her comment, closing the distance on the ponies while my horn began to light.

"Oh, just grand actually. It's been some time since I've been able to worm my way into the minds of ponies, you see. And I was beginning to miss the feeling." I leaned my head down, closing the distance between the pegasus closest to me. "Now, I have two wonderful-looking specimens to work with. Won't this be fun?"

And I can happily declare: It was.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My eyes were closed as I rubbed my hooves against the temples of my head. They did little to soothe the enormous headache I felt from constantly being thrown back and forth in my own skull, what with being hooves, but it was all I could really do. I never missed having fingers more than I did at that very moment.

Nightmare Moon and I had been arguing with Celestia for I don't know how long. All I know is that, at some point, I took control again only for neither her, nor Celestia, nor I to have anything meaningful to add on. In a way, we had said everything we needed to, and no side was backing down.

The cool night air served as the slightest reprieve from the pain in my head, as well as the shifting of shadows within my coat. Celestia was the first to break the silence.

"This is ridiculous." She said tiredly. "All we're doing is going around in circles."

"On that, we're very much agreed," I replied simply. Opening my eyes, I looked up to the alicorn before me. She no longer had that calm and collected expression from before, nor that fake motherly smile plastered on her face. Instead, she seemed just as frustrated as me. I grimaced as I saw that she was leaning on the table, rubbing her hooves against the temples of her head.

"Oh god damn it..." I muttered, which seemed to draw her attention with a curious brow.

"Hm?"

"You do the same fucking thing I do. Again." I complained. For a moment, she just stared at me, her expression unreadable. Then, for the first time, she gave a smirk. Or rather, it was the first time I saw anything close to a smile from her that seemed legitimate.

"I'm almost certain that I have been around longer than you have. So, technically, you are copying me." She spoke with mirth in her voice. I just rolled my eyes at this, hitting her with the best comeback I could come up with at the time.

"That's stupid. You're stupid." One of my absolute best. She chuckled at that, closing her eyes and shaking her head ever so slightly. Next to me, I could vaguely make out the visage of Nightmare Moon appear again. She seemed confused, as though she had just missed a crucial part of a story. I, on the other hand, didn't think there was anything significant.

Another moment of silence passed as Celestia straightened herself once again. Her eyes were ever so slightly softer as she spoke.

"You have a headache?" I blinked.

"Yeah? Kinda par for the course with dealing with a big white horse with an ego bigger than the sun she moves, isn't it?" She didn't respond to this. Instead, she just looked over to one of the empty roads around us, as though in thought.

"And how much do you remember?" I narrowed my eyes at this. I figured she was doing some other stupid runaround or change of the subject.

"Enough. Now, would you just get back to-"

"Very well." She interrupted. She raised herself from her seated position the first time she got here. As she did, she looked at me with an odd expression. One that seemed almost sad. "I can see that negotiation is futile. So for now, I will leave you be."

Her golden-clad hooves clopped softly on the ground as she started to depart, her gaze no longer spared to Nightmare Moon or I. I squinted my eyes at this, taking a glance around my surroundings to see if anything was coming. When I was satisfied with the fact that there was nothing, I got up from my seat, stumbling slightly before remembering what little I knew about walking on four legs.

"That's it?" I called out to the departing princess. "No magic? No siccing your guards on us? Nothing?" Nightmare Moon seemed just as perplexed by this behavior, her head tilted next to me questioningly.

Celestia paused for a moment, glancing back at me with the familiar false smile she had worn before.

"Oh, hardly. While I do believe myself more than capable of defeating Nightmare Moon at this moment, I would hardly wish to go about doing so in the middle of Equestria's capital." She gestured around herself vaguely, hinting towards the several occupied residencies and storefronts there were, even in the emptiness of the night. "Far too much risk of others being hurt. Not to mention other factors I would have to keep in mind."

I could feel words struggling to make their way out of my throat, but they died over and over again. Instead, I managed to barely croak out one simple thing. One realization that hit me much harder than it should have.

"You were bluffing?" She widened her eyes at this, as though genuinely surprised.

"Oh, no, no, no... Well, yes and no." She corrected, one of her wings making an odd 'so-an-so' gesture. "I do very much plan to prioritize the safety and happiness of my ponies no matter what. And if that means using my magic, as well as that of the Elements of Harmony, to permanently rid of any threats. Then so be it. I simply wish to ensure there is as little collateral damage as possible."

"But... you don't have any way of doing that now do you?" She shrugged.

"Who can say? For now, I do believe it is getting rather late. I should get my rest before my sister takes over. Royal business and all that, you understand." I didn't. I could pretend I did, but I didn't feel like doing that either. So I just looked at her with a deadpan.

"I stand corrected. You're very stupid." I could just barely hear her give out another earnest chuckle before a faint glow appeared around her horn. In the next moment, she was gone. She had disappeared with an audible pop.

I glanced around, checking to see if maybe she had just turned invisible or something. I know, in hindsight, that was pretty dumb on my part. I wasn't likely to see her if she was invisible considering she'd be... well... invisible.

"Well," I relayed through my mind "that went better than I expected." The response I got was swift."

"Verily... Almost concerningly so, as a matter of fact." The shadows shifted below me ever so slightly, pointing off in random directions. "Though 'twould seem that we art still with company" As she implied, I could still see bits of movement on the rooftops. I frowned at this, electing to start making my way down the road in a random direction. At least until I once more heard those now all too familiar words.

"Tag out." I flinched at the thought of being bounced around in my own skull again. "Worry not. This will be the last time." My lips pursed for a moment, but I just gave a nod in agreement nonetheless.

For what would hopefully be the last time for tonight, if my absolutely throbbing head had anything to say about it, I was placed in the role of a spectator to my own body. I watched as Nightmare Moon made her way down the roads of Canterlot, undisturbed by those that followed her from the rooftops. I watched as she made her way into a small alleyway between buildings, placing us even an even darker place than the night had provided. I watched as the shadows that were hidden below my jacket all but sprang to life, surrounding and circling around me like serpents through the air. I watched as our shared sights disappeared into nothing but pitch black.

And what came next? I felt. For a millisecond, my body felt as though it didn't exist. I felt suspended in a touchless, smell-less, soundless, tasteless, sightless void. A bit of panic came over me, but just as quickly it was ushered away as this unmistakable sensation of warmth peered through. It was as if I was being held. Clutched closely to some indeterminate mass. Then, everything returned all at once. And all at once, I could see that we were standing inside of my home. Specifically, we were in one of the corners of my bedroom.

It took me a moment to reorient myself as all of the wriggling shadows around me finally ebbed and flowed away and I was once more in control. In a way, I kinda felt cold and naked without them. I had grown so used to their being there that it was as though I had just lost a bit of myself when they left. I didn't linger on that though. Instead, I occupied myself watching as those shadows took shape next to me, quickly growing larger than I stood into the familiar and reassuring form of Nightmare Moon.

Her eyes were closed in focus as the last of the shadows recalled themselves into her form, bringing life to her mane once again before she finally looked down towards me.

"Shadow Transmission. Not quite as instantaneous or efficient as simple teleportation, but far less easily traced." She smiled softly as she spoke. "Also, far more pleasant than the use of portals."

I returned the smile, subconsciously rubbing my head where I remembered hitting rock after my last run-in with portals.

"I can appreciate that," I said plainly. Nightmare Moon tittered at this, shaking her head gently before she looked at me with an approving grin.

"We must say. You handled yourself quite well in the face of royalty." She commented.

"I'm friends with a princess and a queen. I'd like to think I'm decent, at this point." I scoffed in return.

"Hm. Perhaps." Nightmare Moon glanced up to the ceiling in faux thought, the smile from before never leaving her lips. I barely saw her wing open and circle around me out of the corner of my eye. It wasn't close enough to touch me, but it practically shielded me from the rest of the world around me. It was almost like having those shadows around me all over again. 'Comforting' was the word that came to mind. "However, should we go about committing any other 'negotiations', we would be most reassured to have you by our side to serve as a..."

"Bullshit-o-meter?" I offered. The wing behind me lightly slapped the back of my head.

"We were going to say 'regent' or 'viceroy'."

"Sounds a bit too fancy for my taste."

" 'Steward' then?"

"Isn't that a bit of a downgrade from a knight?"

" 'Sir Steward Jeremy' it shall be then!"

"That's just a mouthful."

This was nice. I couldn't tell you when, but at some point, the two of us had gotten into a rhythm. I guess that all the time we spent filling in for each other with the princess had made it a bit harder for us to leave lulls in our conversations. Still, nothing lasts forever. Before I or Nightmare Moon could comment any further, the sound of footsteps echoed through the air. Shortly thereafter, the door to my bedroom was opened.

"Look, Halfy, it ain't that bad. I mean sure, you're technically an accessory to kidnapping, but I'm pretty sure there ain't a court out there that would see a cute mare like you and throw the book at you." I watched as Gilda entered the room, far too preoccupied speaking to the bandaged earth mare behind her to see either Nightmare Moon or I standing in the corner. I raised a brow as they spoke, but I didn't say anything.

Halfy, for her part, was staring wide-eyed at the floor.

"I-I just don't know what to think of all this. It's so much so suddenly." She looked up to Gilda. "Are we sure it was a good idea to leave those guards with Chrysalis?" Gilda shrugged in return.

"Meh. She seemed happy enough. Besides, I ain't exactly inclined to feel bad for them after they stalked you halfway here and jumped me two on one." She stretched one of her wings out as she spoke, garnering a very loud, very painful, yet very satisfying sounding click out of her joints in the process.

"W-what about Nightmare Moon and Jeremy, we still don't know if they're-"

"Present." I finally said, drawing the attention of the two. Well, I say 'drawing their attention', but really I mean scaring the living night out of them.

"OH MY CELESTIA!"

"BUCK ME WITH A BARREL!"

Halfy and Gilda shouted out respectively, which instantly made me regret everything as my eardrums practically screamed into my aching head. I grimaced at the noise, once more raising my hooves to my temples to temper the pain. I heard Nightmare Moon give out a faint harumph next to me.

"Aw. We wished to see how long it would have taken them to sense our presence on their own." She said, yet again taking that tone of a child that just had their toy taken away. Despite the pounding of jackhammers in my ears, I hazarded a chuckle.

"Maybe next time."

All things considered, this had been a nice dinner outing with friends.

Though I doubt that my blood pressure would agree.

And no, I'm not just referring to how bad those cheese fries were probably clogging up my arteries. Frankly, I think that's the only case in which I truly wouldn't mind.

Yeet