Uhh... wait? What was next? Oh, yeah... I drank my ass off.

Uh, yeah, I think that's it, I just drank my ass off.

And then you found me, drunk and you got me here.

Yeah, that's just it. I should break free right now, but I'll give you a little head start, and let you try to summon me mates, ye have like what, three hours? Yeah, six hours should be sufficent.

What are you waiting for? The clock is ticking!

Well, that was easy to get rid of them, now to work out these chains... I seriously got that one accidentally.

Three hours later,

POV change, third person

"I AM FREE!" Demopan bellowed, free.

Guards ran in to his cell and surrounded him.

"When the Devil is too busy..." he started singing, as he teleported in his pan, the guards suddenly gained a look of fear.

"...And Death's a bit too much..." he continued, walking closer to a random guard.

"They call on me by name you see," he sang as he placed a foot on the guard's shoulders.

"...For my special touch." he went on as he propelled himself, pushing away from the guard, flying through the cell to the doors, he closed them, and enchanted them so the guards wouldn't get out.

"To the Gentlemen I'm Miss Fortune

To the Ladies I'm Sir Prize

But call me by any name

Any way it's all the same"

"I'm the fly in your soup," he sang as he hit a guard across the pace with his pan, turning to the next bunch of guards running towards him.

"I'm the pebble in your shoe" as he placed a sticky under his feet.

"I'm the demon in your bed" as he was flying through the air.

"I'm a bump on every head" as he charged through the ponies, knocking every single one like a bowling ball.

"I'm the peel on which you slip" as he kicked over a pony that tried to stand up.

"I'm a pin in every hip" as he walked away from them.

"I'm the thorn in your side" as he called upon the magic of his pan, as a lot of great thorn rose out from the floor, surrounding the guards.

"Makes you wriggle and writhe!"

"And it's so easy when you're evil" he sang as he danced through the hallways of the castle.

"This is the life, you see," as he pushed down a vase,

"The Devil tips his hat to me!" as he blown up a wall. An imaginary devil sitting on his shoulder.

"I do it all because I'm evil" as he smashed his pan upon a stray guard's face.

"And I do it all for free!"

"Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need!" As ponies were crying in the hallways.

"While there's children to make sad" as I burst through a big, golden door with a sun at the center, but not before I smashed a bunch of guard guarding it.

"While there's candy to be had." I looked around the room, noticing the magical presence of the Sparkle and Celestia, two missing, probably a trap

"While there's pockets left to pick" The room was shaped...

"While there's grannies left to trip down the stairs" ... weirdly

"I'll be there, I'll be waiting 'round the corner" going around a corner in the room, and finding them!

I grabbed my Loose Cannon,

"It's a game. I'm glad I'm in it"

"Stop right there, you will not win!"

"'Cause there's one born every minute" as I do a one eighty and shoot the cannon straight in Luna's face, but not setting it of, it was a random crit, she'd be giblets by now.

"I'm not planning to..."

"Why are you doing it?! When did we wrong you?

"And it's so easy when you're evil" as I throw my pan on the ground, causing the floor to crack, throwing up lots of dust in the room, which I shaped into a bunch of small whirlwinds, sweeping up all furniture, making the Princess of Love visible.

"This is the life, you see" as I throw an Ullapool Caber at her, it explodes and knocks her out.

"The Devil tips his hat to me" as I start slowly walking to the other two, Celestia standing before Twilight in a protective manner.

"I do it all because I'm evil" Loose Cannon comes up...

"And I do it all for free" ...dramatical pause as I keep singing...

"Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need" ... let's keep that pause, I ignite the dramatical fuse in the Loose Cannon and keep singing.

"I pledge my allegiance, to all things dark

And I promise on my damned soul

To do as I am told, Lord Beelzebub

Has never seen a soldier quite like me

Not only does his job, but does it happily."

And then I blow it out. I still keep singing.

"I'm the fear that keeps you awake

I'm the shadows on the wall

I'm the monsters they become

I'm the nightmare in your skull

I'm a dagger in your back

An extra turn upon the rack

I'm the quivering of your heart

A stabbing pain, a sudden start."

I teleport in the middle of them, grab them both...

...and hug them?

"Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need

And I do it all for free

Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need

And I do it all for free

Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need!"

"You already cried, didn't you?

I just learned I can go back to my homeworld with those new cool powers!

I just wanted to see the great and smug princessess cry,

I feel like a jerk now, bye!" As I teleported out of there.

There being this world. I left the rest of the song to hang in the air.

"It gets so lonely being evil

What I'd do to see a smile

Even for a little while

And no one loves you when you're evil..."

"P-princess... is it over?" Twilight asked her mentor as she stood up.

Celestia smiled and said:

"I think so, maybe he wasn't as evil, just chaotic?"

"I'm lying through my teeth!

Your tears are all the company I need!"

The song ended as an cannonball from the Loose Cannon I launched at Luna a while ago exploded near, scaring them both, and causing the other two to wake up...

... as Discord walked in.

"What happened here?" he asked, confused.

AN/2

I'm really sorry, but I can't get up to writing this anymore, follow me if you want to know when I publish my other take on the LoHAV, this time as a Dark Souls character.

And not a cosplay!