Applejack was Apple Fritter's favorite cousin, and the energetic young mare thought about her often. But oddly enough, she didn't have to just think about her anymore. Due to unwavering persistence, Apple Fritter landed herself in a secret intimate relationship with AJ (filled with smooching, hay rolling, and everything!) Though her lust-filled dreams had come true, Fritter would occasionally find herself still fantasizing about her loveable farm pony cousin/fillyfriend when they weren't together. In fact, she was doing just that as she wandered through the Ponyville Pet Center Fundraiser.

"Hee, hee, hee..." Apple Fritter giggled to herself, drooling slightly. The sight of some aquatic animals at the fundraiser sparked an ocean themed fantasy about Applejack (in which they were mareitime whale hunters who found new exciting uses for the other end of the harpoon *wink.*) Fritter shook out of her delusions upon catching herself nearly tripping over a filly and her new pet turtle.

'Now, now Apple Fritter. No need tah fantasize 'bout that, none!' Fritter thought to herself with a grin. 'I already have the real Applejack in mah hooves. Hee-hee! Hmmm... Wonder if AJ would like tah try some role-play tahnight? I'll need tah buy some sailor hats... and a harpoon.' The perky yellow earth pony wiped up her drool and took another look around. Half the town was at the event, or so it seemed to her. Apple Fritter had taken an "extended vacation" from her home in Appleoosa to stay at Sweet Apple Acres for an "undefined amount of time" to "help out around the farm" among "other things" (emphasis on the "other things.") So, she had gotten to know a lot of the ponies in Ponyville now and saw many of her friends picking out new pets.

'Hmm... maybe I should get a pet too. It gets kinda lonely 'round the farm when AJ runs off with her friends.' Apple Fritter considered this as she browsed the selections. A plethora of cutesy wootsy adorable animals all peered up hopefully at her, just begging to be taken home (and, of course, to be fed and pampered for the rest of their lives without giving anything in return.) However, Fritter ignored them all as she scanned the crowd until she came across a particular furry creature with a big fat tail.

"Oh. Mah. Celestia... It's... SO DANG CUUUUUUUTE!" Apple Fritter nearly squealed in delight and jumped over the wire fence to gallop up to the peculiar brown coated rodent. She picked up the startled animal and held it airborne like a newborn child. It was just an average castor canadensis, or more commonly known as... a beaver (like the title of the story! Who'd have guessed it!?)

"Heeheeheeheeheehee!!!" Fritter started to dance around on her hind legs, spinning the beaver around much to the confusion of the other animals and onlookers. Once her little outburst was over, Apple Fritter tightly hugged the beaver and held it out to get a good look at it's face. The perky beaver seemed to like the attention and chirped out some gibberish happily. "Goodness, you are... just the cutest beaver I've ever laid eyes on! Besides, a'course, Applejack's beaver!" Apple Fritter turned to some ponies on the other side of the fence. "Hee-hee, that's a zinger! Git it? 'Cause of her vagina!?"

A horrified mother covered her little colt's ears in shock and hurried him away, but Apple Fritter didn't notice. She was now busy rubbing noses with the beaver and making baby noises at it.

"You wanna come home with me, sweetheart?" Apple Fritter asked the rodent as she finally set it down. It hopped up and down cheerfully, it's tiny claws reaching up asking for more. Fritter started to bounce around as well. "I'll take that as a 'yes,' hee-hee! Come on, you can ride on mah back." She kneeled down to allow the beaver to climb on top of her, which it did happily. Soon after, the yellow pony had filled out the paperwork, read a "How to Care for Your Beaver" pamphlet, and was on her way with a new friend riding along.

"Applejack is going to just love you, I just know it," Fritter said to the beaver as she trotted along, flicking her tail back and forth. The beaver mimicked her, wagging it's bulky tail in joy. "You can sleep in our bed! And- oh! Winona and Applebloom can play with you! And Granny can bake you special snacks! And Big Mac can- um... ...And Sweet Apple Acres is huge, you'll have plenty of trees to build dams with!" The pony prattled on and on, totally confident the beaver would fit into the Apple household effortlessly. The grateful beaver squeaked and hugged her mane sweetly (and tiny cartoon hearts appeared!) Fritter simply swooned at the act. "Aww~! Oh, look! There's Applejack now, come on!" Apple Fritter had caught sight of her cousin walking along. She called out to her triumphantly, "AJ, sweetheart!"

At the sound of her initials, the unsuspecting Applejack turned and (in slow mo) her lips collided with Apple Fritter's as the yellow pony gave her a quick kiss ~. Applejack recoiled and looked around frantically to see if anypony had seen them. Luckily, it appeared they were in the clear.

"Consarn it, Apple Fritter!" AJ whispered loudly while keeping her head close to the dirt. "I done told yah a hundred times, don't be doin' that in public! I don't want nopony to find out!"

"And I told you a hundred times, yer just saying that 'cause yer just a teeny bit embarrassed to be my little hayseed!" Apple Fritter retorted sweetly, rubbing Applejack's cheeks playfully and going in for another kiss. Unamused and irritated, AJ slapped her cousin's hooves away, and stuck her own hoof into the oncoming lips.

"No! That ain't it, and you know it!" the frustrated orange pony exclaimed loudly. After a paranoid glance around, she returned to a barely audible whisper. "We're both mares! AND kinfolk! Ponies ain't gonna respond tah our relationship too kindly. Behsides, whut we do in the bedroom is our own business, there ain't no need to flaunt it all about like-" Applejack cut her lecture short, partially because Fritter was too busy staring into her eyes lustfully instead of listening, but mostly because Applejack noticed the beaver watching them from her cousin's back. With a short chuckle, she pointed it out. "It uh, looks like yah picked up an unwanted passenger there, cuz."

"Unwanted? No, sweetheart, this is my new pet. I just adopted it!" Apple Fritter replied confidently, and turned to her side so AJ could see the beaver better. The creature jumped up and down squeaking out its approval while the pony beneath it exclaimed, "Ta-da! It's a beaver!" Applejack just stared for a moment, eyes darting between her cousin and the rodent. She finally started to laugh.

"Heh heh. That's a pretty good one, Fritter. But yah better git that thing off yer back before it gives you rabies or sumthin'."

"Huh? I... I'm serious, Applejack," Apple Fritter replied, a little confused. The two simply looked at each other for an awkward moment before Applejack spoke up.

"W-whut?"

"I'm serious. This is mah pet beaver. She's comin' home with us," Apple Fritter explained (finally revealing the animal's gender to the reader.) Applejack darted her eyes between the two of them again.

"No... it ain't..." she responded slowly, beginning to realize this wasn't a joke. Both the jaws of Apple Fritter and her beaver dropped to the dirt.

"Whut? Why not?" Fritter cried defensibly, failing to hide her shock.

"'Cause beavers ain't pets, sugarcube! They- they ain't like dogs or cats! They're rodents, they're pests, they're a menace! They don't belong on the farm!"

"*GASP!* How can you say such things?" Apple Fritter turned to lightly grab the beaver's back fur with her teeth. Holding it out, she presented it to Applejack like a cat. "Look how cute she is! See how cute she is?" she mumbled through her closed teeth. The beaver held out her widdle hands in a hugging gesture and her eyes sparkled with the innocence of a newborn filly as Apple Fritter brought her closer to her cousin.

"Soak my spades in oil! That's disgustin'!" Applejack cringed, sticking her tongue out in distaste and backing up to get away from the approaching rodent. "Keep that thing away, and for the love of Celestia brush yer teeth before you kiss me again!" Gasping, Apple Fritter released the beaver and it fell face first into the dirt with an amusing *PLOP*!

"AJ! I'm surprised atchyou! She ain't disgustin'!" Fritter picked up the beaver, who was dizzy from the fall, and shook it at Applejack like a ragdoll. "Gnawty Bits is the most adorable beaver in all of Equestria!"

"Right... 'Adorable,' mah flank. Wait... Naughty whut now!?"

"Gnaw-ty Bits! That's her name. 'Cause she's a beaver with a 'beaver,' you know... down there," Apple Fritter explained while pointing to demonstrate the location on the animal. (How clever!)

"Oh for the love of-" Applejack said with a facehoof. "I don't care what it's called, it ain't staying at the farm!"

"I just don't understand why yer protestin' so!" Apple Fritter said, holding Gnawty Bits defensibly. "What have you against beavers!"

"Seriously!? Darlin', I've had to deal with beavers building dams outta mah apple trees and flooding parts of the farm. There ain't no reasoning with 'em, they're gross, they're stupid lookin', and worst of all, they're varmints!"

Apple Fritter gasped in horror and covered Gnawty Bit's ears. "Applejack! Watch yer language!"

"MY language!? Yer the one namin' the thing after its poontang!" Applejack shouted, her temper finally getting the best of her. Unfortunately, most everypony around them heard, including a certain horrified mother and her colt. Beat red after noticing what she did, Applejack lowered her hat to cover her face. Apple Fritter and Gnawty Bits both started to giggle at Applejack's embarrassment. Plainly irritated, AJ mumbled with gritted teeth, "Come on, let's go someplace else." She shuffled her cousin (who now broke into full on laughter) away from the judgmental crowd who began to murmur amongst themselves. Once they had found a private place behind a food stand and Apple Fritter stopped laughing, an aggravated Applejack continued the conversation. "Look sweetheart, this ain't happenin'. I forbid it. Go return that thing, right now." AJ pointed aggressively back to the pens to demonstrate that this beaver was not going to stay.

"But- but-"

"No buts. If you try to bring that thing back home, I'll have to take it out in a field somewhere and- and put it down," Applejack said menacingly, a definite promise of southern violence reflecting in her eyes. (Holy shit, AJ!)

"NO! You wouldn't do that!" Apple Fritter collapsed to the ground and wrapped her terrified beaver in her arms.

"Believe me sugar, I can and I will."

Heartbroken, Apple Fritter whimpered and squeezed Gnawty Bits tightly. After a few moments of contemplation, she realized she couldn't win this argument. "...Okay... I'll return her..." Fritter murmured, tears filling her eyes. Applejack heaved a heavy sigh, relieved her cousin didn't call her bluff.

"Look, Apple Fritter, sugarcube... I'm sorry I had to be so harsh about this, but I'll make it up to you. Next time we go out, I promise I'll buy you whutever yah want. We'll get sumthin' real nice and pretty, okay?"

"Okay..."

"Good. Now, the Pony Tones are about to start, and I need to go support Big Mac and my friends. So why don't you return that-um... animal... and come watch the show?"

"... ...No, I think I'm just gonna head on home... after I take Gnawty Bits back..." Apple Fritter looked sorrowfully into Gnawty Bits' tiny eyes. Applejack reached out with one hoof in an attempt to comfort her fillyfriend, but retracted it before making contact.

"Alright then. I'll leave you to it," Applejack said softly as she walked off. As she glanced back at her lover who started to rock back and forth on the ground tightly hugging the beaver. The orange farm pony took her hat and covered her face to block the sad sight out. "Dag nabbit, Applejack," she murmured to herself. "You coulda handled that better..."

After Applejack had wandered off into the evening, Apple Fritter finally released Gnawty Bits from her embrace. Though the young mare had tears streaming down her face, the beaver was much more calm.

"Well, you heard her. *sniff* You have tah go back now," Apple Fritter whimpered to her beaver companion. Gnawty Bits squeaked something and reached up to wipe away a tear. Fritter smile slightly and giggled a little. "Awww~" She hugged the beaver one last time. While she did, the gears in Apple Fritter's head started to turn.

'Gnawty Bits is adorable and sweet and has the best name in Equestria and I really want tah keep her. Applejack's bein' so darn stubborn about this! ...Gnawty Bits has to stay! She just has to...'

Apple Fritter jumped up, with Gnawty Bits in her hooves, and exclaimed, "You know whut!? Applejack is wrong! I don't care whut she says, yer comin' home with me!" She triumphantly tossed the startled beaver onto her back. "I fought against her stubbornness before and I can do it again!" She turned to Gnawty Bits, who hadn't recovered from the flinging, and declared, "And don't worry, I won't let her lay a hoof on yah, because this time, I won't give up!"

Apple Fritter rose up on her hind legs and kicked her front hooves in the air. "As Celestia as my witness, I'll never be beaverless again!"

Author's Notes:

Yeah, so 2 seconds of screen time for Apple Fritter with a Beaver in Filli Vanilli inspired this story sequel.

New chapter of Ponyville Duet is coming soon, probably before the 2nd part of this.