With a strange sound, a white ball appeared, with a tuft of purple fabric sticking out. Then, with a squelching sound, Doctor Weird reappeared out of his own rectum.

"Gentlemen, BEHOLD! I have teleported... THROUGH MY BUTT!" He looked around; it seemed as if he were home. The Belle Island Asylum. He laughed maniacally.

"As you can see, this asylum was built over two thousand years ago, but is surprisingly modern. What is interesting about this building is this door here. Nopony yet has ever managed to open it, because there seems to be a vocal component to opening its secrets." The tour guide droned, leading his tour group through the building. Every colt and filly there was bored out of their little skulls. Then:

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Everypony jumped as a peal of maniacal laughter sounded through the thick stone walls. The tour guide looked around.

"Attention, mares and stallions, but it would appear as if this is no longer part of the tou-" He didn't finish his sentence, as a bipedal figure crashed through a window and jumped on him. Then, he pointed at the group, and his necklace glowed.

"WHAT are you people doing in my LABORATORY?!" He pointed at them while the tour guide tried to get out from underneath him.

"Gentlemen, BEHOLD!" He waved his hand, and a door opened with a beeping sound. Within, a giant, vaguely lapine robot appeared.

"THE RABBOT!" It jumped out, and every pony ran in fear as he laughed. Then, the tour guide spoke.

"What are you?"

"I AM DOCTOR WEIRD, AND THIS...IS MY LABORATORY! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" He grinned.

"NOW, it is time... FOR SCIENCE!!" He gripped the pony and injected him with green fluid. As he watched the pony screaming in agony, he watched and simply stated:

"IT BEGINS!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Celestia looked up from her bed blearily. Every bone in her body felt as if it had been broken, and honestly, it might well have.

"Princess, are you alright?" She nodded.

"Yes. Doctor Weird didn't want to kill me; that would make too much sense." Twilight's worry and confusion was evident.

"Too... mundane?" Celestia nodded.

"He taught Discord a lot about chaos." Applejack snorted.

"Whoa there, hang on. You're telling' us that Discord was taught by this guy?" Luna nodded in the opposite bed. She'd fared better, but the doctors had still advised her to get into bed. Twilight had been taught the spells to move the sun and moon, just in case.

"Doctor Weird arrived two thousand years ago, and promptly met us. He was still mad, but he was controllable. Or so we thought." Celestia nodded.

"Like with Discord, we thought that we could contain him and his genius. And he is a genius." Rainbow Dash scoffed.

"That goofball's a genius? I'll believe that when I see it."

"Flash Sentry turning into a giant?" Rainbow Dash raised a hoof, thought, then lowered it.

"Doctor Weird also invented the Rainbow machine that is still used in Cloudsdale."

"That guy invented rainbow technology?!" Rainbow Dash was shocked by that.

"Yes. He just called it "THIS THING!" We didn't know about its exact workings, but we saw the potential of it in weather technology." Celestia interjected.

"Doctor Weird's genius isn't just in one field; not only in genetics, but also in robotics, chemistry, and deception. He is certainly not to be underestimated." Luna nodded.

"And neither is his draconic assistant, Steve."

Doctor Weird examined the pod, and poked it open. A yellow dragon with long, orange ridges popped out. Interestingly, he wore a lab coat and held a test tube in his hand.

"STEVE!" The dragon awoke and looked at his boss.

"Oh, hey Doctor Weird. You're free now?"

"YES! Now, Steve, BEHOLD: I have spliced the double helix of a deer, WITH A TOUR GUIDE! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Steve watched as the tour guide came out. Instead of just one unicorn horn, he'd grown two, and seemed to have developed udders.

"NOW, DEER UNICORN, SPREAD HAVO- WAIT!" The pony was running from him, heading for the door.

"The deer unicorn has escaped!" Doctor Weird shook a fist in the sky. "YES! WHAT HAS SCIENCE DONE?!" Thunder boomed around them.

Shining Armour looked at Flash Sentry.

"So, you want some medical leave?" Flash Sentry nodded.

"Yes. After he impaled me with corn, I've felt a bit out of sorts. I think that I need to- urk!" He fell down and started convulsing. Shining Armour looked out.

"NURSE! GET A NURSE IN HERE!" Flash Sentry's eyes rolled back, and his stomach burst open, revealing...

An ear of corn. Shining Armour looked confused, before it giggled and tried to attack him. He gripped it in his telekinesis.

"Oh no you don't." The corn giggled before exploding. The nurse got in and gaped at the blood coming off Flash Sentry.

"Quick, get him immediate treatment." She hastily complied, stabilising the bleeding and levitating some bandages to quickly bind him up.

Once he was safe, Shining Armour looked at him.

"Medical Leave, eh? You need it." With that, he left for the Princess. The Guard needed to know how dangerous this guy was, in case

"Princess Celestia, I need to know; how dangerous is this Doctor Weird?" Celestia nodded tiredly.

"He's a genius, both magically and intellectually. His physical skills aren't very good, but he makes up for it in dangerous magic granted to him by the Weird Amulet."

"Weird Amulet?" She nodded.

"It seems to be a magical artefact that he made himself. It seems to grant him his bizarre powers. He shoots tacos out of his mouth, and can summon corn that reproduces violently within the victim."

"I know that much; Flash Sentry's on life support right now." Celestia looked shocked.

"Good thing he was here; had he been outside the infirmary, he might have died." Shining Armour nodded.

"So the Discord Protocol then?"

"Yes, the Discord Protocol." Shining Armour nodded; expect anything from Doctor Weird.

"STEVE! Pick up that stick, and AGITATE THE HELL OUTTA THESE SCORPIONS!" Steve looked at Doctor Weird, his helmet filled with scorpions.

"Aw, hell no." Next Chapter: Genelemen, BEHOLD! I have told my BACKSTORY!!!!!!!!! Estimated time remaining: 3 Minutes