"Alright, don't panic. Just another patrol route..." The mantra helped Flash Sentry calm down slightly, but not really. Ever since Discord had escaped, the Royal Guard had set a new patrol route through the gardens. Flash Sentry hated it; ever since Discord's escape, he'd never looked at the garden in the same way again. The thought that one of those statues might come to life at any moment and cause havoc when released brought fear to Flash. He shivered, and it wasn't from the cold winter. Then, he continued the patrol. Personal misgivings or not, he was still a member of the Royal Guard, and he had a duty to his country to continue the patrol.

"Alright, just pass Doctor Weird, and everything'll... be..." He halted, and stared at the podium.

Normally,this statue wasn't one that anybody was interested in. Partly because it was so weird. It was a statue of a tall, roundish, flabby creature not unlike a minotaur. Its paws were flat on the ground, with five small digits. It wore a long robe, with its nipples showing, which many to believe that it was female. Around its neck, it wore a strange necklace, with a pendant shaped like a W alongside a pendant with a unicorn's head and a pegasus' wings; an Alicorn Amulet. Curiously, it wore some sort of shoes on its forepaws, like a ponies'.Its head was a long, oblong dome, completely blank. The plaque read "DOCTOR WEIRD." Except, rather than the statue that he expected to see, it was instead replaced with chunks of rubble. He stared around.

"Gentlemen, BEHOLD!!! I have escaped... MY PRISON!!!!!!!!!" He whirled around.

The being known as Doctor Weird stood there in all of its strange glory. Now, he could see that its head was actually a clear glass dome, with a strangely flat face within. Its mane stuck up in two, white tufts, and the rest of its head was bald. It had no fur, except for the thin black hairs that dotted its legs. The Alicorn Amulet was coloured purple with a yellow gem, like his robe, while the golden W glimmered brightly in the evening light.

"Now, gentlemen, BEHOLD: CORN!" As he finally tore himself away from the sight and flew, he felt a stinging pain as a corn cob impaled his wing.More of them followed, and he was pinned to the wall in absolute agony, blood dripping from the wounds. Doctor Weird looked at him.

"I'll not scream again for you, monster." Doctor Weird didn't seem to notice as he looked around.

"Alright, now it is time... for your MEDICINE!" He pulled out a syringe from somewhere, filled it with a red liquid, and stabbed Flash Sentry with it. Flash screamed again as the liquid flowed through him.

"It'll take a while for your MEDICINE to take effect! Now, where are THEY?!" He stalked off.

Doctor Weird looked around.

"This isn't my laboratory! STEVE!" He shook a yellow gloved fist at the heavens, screaming his assistant's name. Thunder boomed around him.

Celestia was in her throne room when she heard it:

"STEVE!" This loud exclamation, in a voice that she'd not heard for two thousand years, was followed by a peal of thunder. Her eyes widened. She felt her sister teleport to her.

"Sister, we hath heard the escape of Doctor Weird." Celestia nodded frantically.

"I'll summon the Elements. You make sure that no pony was hurt by his escape."

"We understand sister." With that, she flew through the window, shattering it. Celestia would have reprimanded her, but times were urgent. She grabbed a piece of parchment with her magic, and frantically scrawled a letter down, then sent it with a flash. Then, she joined her sister in the Gardens.

I swear, Doctor Weird, your mad spree of destruction shall end here for good! She vowed to herself.

The newly coronated Princess Twilight Sparkle was relaxing with her friends when Spike came running in.

"Twilight! Celestia sent you a letter." Twilight nodded.

"Thank you, Spike. Now, let's see..." She opened it. Scrawled in there, entirely unlike Celestia's normal, elegant writing, were the words:

Twilight rolled it up.

"Right, girls, looks like we need to go to Canterlot pronto."

"Aw, shucks, Twi! We were just there fer yer coronation!" Twilight smiled.

"I know, Applejack, but this has to be urgent, otherwise the Princess wouldn't have sent for us." Applejack rolled her eyes.

"Well, alright. So, we takin' a train or..." Twilight's horn lit up, and with a white flash, they were gone.

They reappeared in the throne room. Twilight looked around.

"Where are the Princesses?" For answer, the wall exploded and Celestia came crashing through.

"Gentlemen... BEHOLD! I am beating up a god... WITH TACOS!!" Giant half circles that bore a strange, greasy smell flew through and hit Celestia, exploding violently. Twilight gasped at this. A strange bipedal figure walked in.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Fluttershy gasped at this.

"Y-you monster!" She directed the Stare onto him, but he stared back.

"Gentlemen, BEHOLD! CORN ASSAULT! They are convicted, but WHO CARES?!" They backed away as corn appeared on a plate. A couple of ears got upright and started giggling before violently lauching out, nearly hitting their wings. Fortunately, Rainbow Dash managed to get Fluttershy out of the way. They gasped as the corn tore through the opposite wall, leaving holes in solid marble.

"You DODGED?! Most impressive! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Twilight stared at this creature in shock, then noticed the Alicorn Amulet around its neck and immediately prepared for defence.

"Girls, be careful! Who knows how powerful this thing is!" It turned its oddly pink eyes to her.

"Who are you?! Are you... STEVE?!" He shook his fist at the heavens, and thunder crackled around him as he laughed again. Twilight knew that this being had fully given in to his insanity. Still, she had to try to reason with him.

"Um, who are you?" In response, he laughed.

"I am DOCTOR WEIRD! Inventor, genius, and TOTALLY BATSHIT!" Twilight didn't know how to respond to that.

"Um... okay!" She smiled awkwardly. "Say, would you mind taking off that necklace?"

"It's no use talking to him, Twilight." Luna limped in, wings broken and horn cracked.

"Princess Luna!"

"He's too insane to negotiate with. His mind was corrupted by the Amulet long ago." Doctor Weird looked at the Elements.

"THESE fools are going to stop me? Gentlemen, your standards are SLIPPING! Look at the PURPLE ONE!" He pointed a finger at her.

"SHE has the right hoof of a CHRONIC MASTURBATOR, the faint lipstick and make-up of somebody with a crush on their teacher, AND, the breathing pattern of an untreated HEART CONDITION!" Twilight looked at him in shock.

"I...what...how...wait, untreated heart condition?" He ignored her.

"The BLUE ONE takes steroids, the YELLOW one has a watersports fetish, the WHITE one has a daughter, the ORANGE one dyes her hair, and the PINK one has type 2 diabetes!" As one mare, the Elements gawked at him, and he smirked.

"NOW, I must take... MY LEAVE!" With that, a giant stallion, easily the size of a dragon crashed through the other wall, covered in orange fur, blue eyes blazing beneath a shaggy mane.

"F-Flash Sentry?" In response, he roared, and tried to squish Doctor Weird, who laughed before his hand suddenly went to his rectum.

"Gentlemen, BEHOLD! My ass... has finally decided to eat my hand!" His whole body bent back as every pony watched with a mixture of shock, disgust and horror. "It hungers... FOR MORE!" With that, he disappeared into his own butt, which promptly teleported. Next Chapter: Gentlemen, BEHOLD! I have found... MY LABORATORY!!!!! Estimated time remaining: 8 Minutes