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Headless, not Heartless

by Thadius0

Chapter 4: Chapter 4 - Head of security

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Bright Lance, the batpony night-guard on duty in the archives of Canterlot Castle, was bored.

Every night, the same drill. Walk past one hundred and fifty bookcases. Pause for ten seconds. Right turn, walk past the twenty bookcases. Pause for ten seconds. Right turn.

Repeat ad naseum.

So it was a slight surprise when he was informed the Princesses were in the Restricted Section of the Archives for the foreseeable future, and all visitors there were to be detained.

That made for some change in his routine, but not much.

They weren't in his patrol route of the Archives, so it didn't matter much to him.

Had he thought about why they felt they needed to be here, he might not have been surprised halfway into his shift.

Howdy, a voice said.

Bright merely nodded and continued on his route before his brain registered what had just happened.

Someone had spoken to him.

He paused for a second, then backpedaled and looked to his right.

There was a suit of armor that looked like it was made for a minotaur. An extremely beefy minotaur that also wore boots.

Dark blue and embossed with gold in some places, it was wearing a slightly tattered red cape that nearly reached the floor. Hanging off the side was a scabbard that held a sword that seemed to be a few feet long.

The neck, however, was missing a helmet. And it was this that drew his attention.

Because the armor was also missing someone to wear it.

Instead, blue fire danced in the place of where a helmet, or even a head, would normally be.

Say, I don't suppose you know where my shield is, do you? 'bout half as big as me, made of a similar metal, looks like a roaring manticore?

Wordlessly, Bright Lance pointed towards the Restricted Section of the Archives, where the Princesses, and all the other artifacts, were.

Ah, thank you very much. Take care.

And with the sound of a thousand pounds of shifting metal, the suit of armor clomped off.

-----

What a helpful guard.

The glow provided by my presence inside my armor helped illuminate the archives, making sure I wouldn't run into any bookcases by accident.

Seriously helpful. If I remember what he looks like, I'll give him something. Not like all those other guys who tried to get me to halt. Had to put half the castle to sleep.

Up ahead, there was a massive set of wooden doors with the words 'Abandon all hope, ye who enter here uninvited' written on them. I merely snorted at the warning and pushed them open easily.

Let's see here. Journal of Starswirl, pfft. Bastard had the audacity to tell me what I was doing was no real magic and I should learn from him. Sword of the Elements, also known as MINE, thank you Discord for taking it. Artifacts of Unification, not interested. Aha!

Placed on a stand was my shield. I could feel the thrum of power from it.

What? No, the shield itself had no special properties. It was what I had hidden in the shield that I wanted.

...Well, and it was rightfully mine anyways. Ponies couldn't use the darn thing without some massive strength training.

"Hello again, Dullahan."

I groaned at the sound of a familiar voice and the sensation of a set of familiar auras coming into range. Clearly, the aura my shield was emitting had blinded me. That, or my own idiocy. I hadn't thought to check for other auras, and to think they'd let me walk in and pick it up! Celly Celly Celly. We should really stop meeting like this.

I turned to see Celestia and Luna appear out of the shadows near the entrance to the archives, blocking me off from escaping. That made me feel a little better, they hadn't been lying in wait, they'd just teleported in when they saw I was nearing the prize.

"How didst thou find thine shield so quickly? We made sure a perfect replica was on display at the museum!"

I merely snorted at them. Puh-lease. Replica or not, you never managed to open MY shield up to find what I hid within it. If you had, you wouldn't have bothered with the replica!

"Explain," the solar diarch commanded.

Not a subject of yours, I don't have to! So let me guess the ploy here. You sent the Elements to the replica in an effort to finally trap and exorcise me. Meanwhile, in case I got free, you stood guard here over the real one, because you wanted to make sure I couldn't get my mitts on it.

"I am obligated to tell you nothing, Dullahan."

I merely continued on with my rambling. But the thing is, I knew where my shield was the moment I entered Canterlot. So your museum ploy has failed, and now it's just you two against me. Granted, you're blocking my way out. And I am not yet whole. So this might actually present an issue to me.

Celestia's horn flared once, and she smiled at me. "And I have just sent a message to my student about where you are, so the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony will soon come here to exorcise you, once and for all."

I merely growled at her. You...you have the gall...

They that would block the return of the shadow should face the wrath of the darkness!

I drew my sword and pointed it at the both of them. They merely lowered their horns and scraped the ground with a hoof.

Y'know, there's a song I once listened to. I don't recall all of it, but there's a line that'll apply here soon enough. Element swap, Mars! Inferno!

My sword flashed red, and a ridiculous amount of fireballs sprang from it, arced towards the sisters...

...And sailed past them, into the Archives, setting alight all the accumulated knowledge there.

The sisters stared at the destruction I had caused while I grabbed my shield. The sudden rush of being nearly whole was nigh intoxicating.

Since every piece of my armor was like a part of me, getting any of it back was a big deal. It was like someone who had a need for a prosthetic hand suddenly getting a much better one. I turned to the sisters and chuckled.

What was that line again? Oh yeah! Burn, baby, burn!

Luna and Celestia whipped their heads around to see that I had reclaimed my shield and actually snarled at me. "Thou wilst pay for thine crimes, Dullahan!"

Yeah, I think not. Either because this'll work, or it won't, and I'll come up with something. Element swap, Venus!

The sword glowed brown, and if I had a face, I would have grinned at the sheer cheek I was about to show the sisters. Retreat!

And instantly, I was gone.

-----

I reappeared on the outskirts of Canterlot, dizzy and slightly worse for wear, but overall fine. Glad I don't have a stomach anymore. Might've thrown up my lunch.

I looked down at my shield and would have smiled. Right, I've got you now. Time to find a glade in the Everfree I can use to make a zen garden so's I can call them back to me. But first, I need to see if all your charges are intact. What was the password? The Golden Sun shines but once?

There was a cracking noise from the front of the shield, and I turned it around and opened the mouth. Four shining spheres, one brown, one red, one blue, and one purple, greeted me.

Nice to see the stars are still intact after all this time...

-----
(3rd POV - Celestia)

"My student, I regret to inform you that our plan failed."

Twilight groaned and hung her head. "Princess Celestia, I did everything I could and exactly according to your specifications. We hid ourselves near the display, and we even managed to arrange a gap in the patrol routes this creature could take advantage of. We even had a 'now we have you' speech planned!"

Pinkie nodded a few times. "I was even gonna throw a 'we caught the evil armor, hooray' party! How'd he get away?"

Celestia sighed. "I forgot that one of Dullahan's abilities is to sense strong magical auras. And apparently, one emanates from his shield. He never went to the museum, because he knew where his shield was all along."

Twilight cocked her head to the side. "So the one in the museum was a fake? So where was his shield then?"

"In the Archives, in the Restricted Section, where we store all the old artifacts. Luna and I were there waiting for him, hoping that we could contain him, but he managed to distract us, seize his shield, and escape."

"How'd he distract ya, yer highness?"

Celestia turned to Applejack and said "He used a small fire spell-"

"INSIDE THE ARCHIVES?!"

All eyes were on Twilight as she started hyperventilating at the thought of lost knowledge.

"Oh...dear..."

-----
(Dullahan POV)

I'd only really begun my trek down the mountain when I heard what sounded like an explosion of sound, with some very faint words mixed in.

"Dullahan you animated pile of junk! When I find you I'm going to take you apart piece by piece with a rusty pair of pliers! And then-"

I merely shrugged. Celestia really needs to calm down. It was only a medium-sized fire.

Author's Notes:

Fav count is 394 and rising.
To all of you, thank you.

Next Chapter: Chapter 5 - Keep a level head Estimated time remaining: 3 Hours, 37 Minutes
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