"Is everything ready, my disciple?" Black Jesus inquired as he walked up behind Rarity.

She turned to him and nodded. "All the damage from the earlier battle has been fixed, Bruce Campbell is ready to play hungry like the wolf on his piano, and our speakers are ready to speak to the ponies."

"This place is packed!" Pinkie called out, as she walked up to Black Jesus and Rarity, followed by a cowering Fluttershy.

"I don't like this..." Fluttershy muttered.

"Why's that, darling?" Rarity inquired.

"There's just so many ponies... it's so loud and crowded out there." Fluttershy squeaked.

Black Jesus walked up to her and gently placed his palm on top of her head. Fluttershy flinched initially, but began to calm down. "My child, if you are uncomfortable, you are welcome to wait backstage. You have already been saved. I do not wish to force you to do things you do not want to do." Black Jesus said in a soothing manner that could easily rival Celestia's tone.

"That would be nice." Fluttershy said with a timid smile. Black Jesus smiled upon her calmly, patting her head, and pointed her in the direction of the backstage entrance.

"Poor darling. It must be so hard for her to be here." Rarity said as she watched Fluttershy walk away.

"Worry not, my disciple, for the power of Old Spice will help her escape her shell. There is a reason behind her shyness and the fact she is afraid of her own shadow. I will help her through it so she can help spread the word of Old Spice." Black Jesus promised.

"The show starts in five minutes, Jesus. You may want to get ready." Bruce Campbell suggested as he passed by, dragging his piano behind him.

"A good idea, my brother. I shall join you. My children, you may want to follow our lead." Black Jesus suggested. Pinkie and Rarity nodded and followed Black Jesus and Bruce Campbell eagerly.

"Greetings, everypony!" Rarity called out as she walked out on stage. She was met by the thundering of hooves and ear shattering cheers, which were barely blocked out by the ear plugs she was wearing.

"My fellow ponies, I am honored to be here, as are the rest of the Elements of Harmony. We have seen the light. We have seen the truth behind the lies of Celestia, and have now come to realize that with the power of Old Spice, we will be able to stop her reign of terror." Rarity shouted out. The cheering stopped as the ponies that filled the amphitheater realized what Rarity just said.

"Now, what I just said may seem blasphemous to some of you. It seemed that way to me as well, up until I saw Celestia for what she really is." Rarity stated, pressing a switch on the floor, which turned on a movie screen behind her. "Please, watch this video. This is security footage from six hours ago. What you will witness will shock you."

The screen lit up, as it displayed the interior of the amphitheater. Seconds later, a large explosion caused the entrance to crumble into a huge hole. As the smoke cleared, ponies armed to the teeth with rifles and outfitted with black uniforms and body armor charged inside, followed by an all too familiar alicorn, Princess Celestia herself. They watched as she glared at Black Jesus, asking him why he was doing what was doing, and watched as Black Jesus calmly spat her words back into her face. They watched as Princess Luna appeared behind Black Jesus and challenged her sister, pulling out an assault rifle and standing beside Black Jesus. And they were shocked to hear Celestia say she wouldn't hesitate to kill her, to kill her own sister. And were even more shocked to see a large, black, hairless ape crash through the ceiling and tackle the Princess, and then crush the magnum she was armed with into a tiny ball. The soldiers surrounding them opened fire on the black ape, but the bullets merely bounced off of him. The ape grabbed the nearest soldier and ripped him in half with his bare hands, as another ape charged up behind him, swing his chainsaw arm wildly at the soldiers. Luna charged in behind him, firing her assault rifle with expert precision. The video then paused, and Rarity turned back to the ponies, who were staring at the screen, slack jawed.

"Just because Black Jesus was trying to spread his beliefs, she tried to kill him. She tried to kill me, my friends, and her own sister. And she failed. Now ask yourself... if she was a fair ruler, would she have tried to kill us?" Rarity asked the crowd. "If she was truly a goddess, why didn't she just destroy us without a seconds thought? My fellow ponies, we will show you the light as I have seen it. Now, please bow your heads, as we lead the show in prayer."

As Rarity finished her sentence, a black ape walked out on stage. He was wearing a purple tuxedo, and was wearing dark glasses.

"Thank you for coming, Jesse." Rarity said.

"It's an honor to be here, Rarity. Let us pray!" Jesse Jackson called out, before bowing his head. "Oh lawd Black Jesus, thank you gifting us with the power of Old Spice! Please help us show these colorful little ponies the error of their ways, and the truth! Oh lawd! I can feel the power of Old Spice coursing through my veins! Amen!"

Jesse rose his head and walked off stage, praising Black Jesus to no one in particular. "A round of applause for Jesse Jackson!" Rarity called out to the crowd. The ground started to shake as the sound of hooves thundering filled the room. Rarity waited patiently for the crowd to calm down before beginning to speak. "Now, it is my honor to present you the son of the one true god. My friend, my teacher, my savior, Black Jesus!"

The thundering of hooves returned as a black ape wearing a tight white robe walked on stage, waving at the crowd.

"Greetings, my children." Black Jesus greeted, as he stood beside Rarity. "My name is Black Jesus, the son of Chuck Norris and Betty White." (Two white people = Black child... DA FUQ?)

"My father is the one who created everything that is and has been, who is responsible for making of this world, your race, and the rotation of the sun and the moon. Something that your ruler, Celestia, has taken credit for. She continues to lie and rule you with an iron hoof. She claims that Apple Spice body wash is the chosen body wash, that is holy and sacred."

"The true God, Chuck Norris, sent me here with a mission. To show you the truth. To spread the word of Gods chosen body wash, which is what gave God the power to create everything that exists. To save you ponies from eternal damnation, and stop the false goddess Celestia. Even the Elements of Harmony, and her own sister, Princess Luna, have came to see Celestia as what she truly is. A corrupt, lying, dictator, who hides behind a curtain of kindness and caring. But you have seen what she truly is. If she was kind and caring, she would have came here and tried to talk to me, not use her secret police and try to kill me."

The crowd remained silent as Black Jesus continued to preach. "Need more proof? Think back to when Nightmare Moon returned. Where was she? Surely, if she was the goddess she claimed to be, she could have stopped Nightmare Moon, and wouldn't have sent in six ponies, including her protege, into a dangerous situation where they could have possibly gotten killed. Think back to when Discord was released from his stone imprisonment, and turned Equestria completely upside down. Why didn't she simply stop him? Discord may have been crazy and magic, but he wasn't an all powerful being. A true goddess could have easily put him down. And finally, think back to when Queen Chrysalis tried to take over. If she was a goddess, she could have easily seen through her ruse. And when she took on Queen Chrysalis, how did she lose? How could there be a being more powerful than the goddess who is responsible for the creation of your world and species?"

"I must not be the only one seeing this for what it is. But you all stink of the scent of her followers. I am sure there may some of you who wish to remain loyal to Celestia, and I will respect. You are entitled to your own beliefs, and I won't try to kill you for them like Celestia will. Those of you who wish to stay loyal to Celestia, you may leave." Black Jesus stated. He looked over the crowd as not a single pony turned to leave.

"Nopony?" Black Jesus asked the crowd with a kind smile. "A wise decision. Now, I will show you the light, my children." As he said this, Black Jesus used his black magic to summon two plastic bottles, one labelled Old Spice Colts Scented Body Wash, and the other labelled Old Spice Mares Scented Body Wash.

"This, my children, is Old Spice. Mares, are you tired of your colts smelling like a mare and not a true colt?" Black Jesus inquired.

"Yes!" The mares in the room responded.

"And colts, are you tired of pretending your mares expensive perfumes smell good?" Black Jesus asked.

"YES!" The colts responded.

"Well then, if you accept the power of the Spice, not only will you be saved, you would smell of it." Black Jesus said, as he raised his hands into the air, his hands glowing a dark aura as he used his black magic to summon thousands of bottles of Old Spice Body Wash, placing a bottle of Old Spice Colts Scented Body Wash by each colt and a bottle of Old Spice Mares Scented Body Wash by each mare. Black Jesus took a deep breath and looked over the crowd with a satisfied smile. On this day, he saved rougly 20,000 ponies, and more would likely follow. Just another day in the life of Black Jesus of Harlem.