Spike looked around as Ponyville looked crazy and goofy.

"Okay, so Discord is going crazy again, I wonder who's making him jealous this time."

He walked around to see how much the town changed this time. "The Lone Lampman, normal! Red eyed tree frog giving Big Macintosh in a monkey costume a shower, not normal."

"Hey Spike, wanna join in? The water pressure's grrrrrrrrrrrrreat!"

"No thanks Big Mac, maybe later."

"Okay, we're still on for the game later right?"

"Heck yeah!"

"Alright, see yah later."

Spike walked further & further into the distorted Ponyville. That's when he heard the cracking sound of a baseball bat!

"Huh?"

*Konk!*

Spike was knocked out cold by a baseball.

"Ow! Who did that?" groaned Spike rubbing his head.

"Oh my goodness, I'm so so sor..." Then mare then stopped "Oh-no, I hit my betrothed!"

"What?" Spike said all confused.

"Ho ho ho, great job my girl, you really nailed your future husband!" Discord spoke.

"Future husband?!"

"That's right! Twilight agreed to give your claw in marriage to my daughter here!"

"DAUGHTER?!"

"Yes, this is Screwball, I adopted her when she was deemed too insane to live in an orphanage! Those jerk doctors, saying she's mentally unstable instead of looking at her talent! *huff!* But it was those horrible brats in the orphanage's fault!"
"Yeah, their constant teasing of my eyes was so mean that I snapped and became crazy!" She said as she did the finger lip thing, I don't know what it's called.

Spike felt a little creeped out, especially hearing he was suppose to marry this mare.

"Oh, but don't worry Spike, underneath that crazy face, is a nice soul!"

'The crazy of Pinkie and the eyes of Derpy, maybe I should re...'

"Also, you cannot reject this marriage!" Discord interrupted.

"Yeah, betrothal is a forced marriage. I'm so happy, because Twilight told me all about you & I mean all of it, she's even writing an unabridged & abridged version of your biography."

"Biography? What great things have I done? Except, save the Crystal Empire twice, narrate for the origin of Equestria, and help defend Ponyville in the dream world, and lived as Humdrum, helped Twilight in that other world twice...okay, I guess a Biography about me is a decent idea."

"Yeah, I'll read it to our kids when it's bed time."

"Whoa! You're thinking too fast!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I scare you with the kid thing?" Then Screwball gave him a concerned look on her face.

"If this is gonna be taken serious, let's start to get know each other."

"Okay! I'll start! my favorite sport is baseball, I think Discord is best pony, and I'm always looking forward to tomorrow so I can hear my bat hit a ball all across the town!"

'Well, that solves the mystery of ball lake.'

"Your turn!"

"Oh, my favorite sport is Hoofball, my favorite food are Sapphires, and since dirt & other unsavory things are always getting in between my scales, I always make sure to take a bubble bath for 7 hours."

"7 hours?!"

"Yeah."

'Well, guess that solves the mystery of who keeps on using Ponyville's supply of hot water.'

"Ooh goody, you 2 make such a wonderful couple, I'll be going now!"

"Wait! Can you shut all of this off 1st?"

"What? No! Your wedding is in 2 weeks, this is celebration!"

"2 weeks?!"

"Yep!"

Then all 3 began doing ring around the rosey!

'This is going to suck!' Spike thought as Screwball lovingly hugged him.

"Well, I best be off, I need to talk Shmooze out of committing suicide!"

"Dark." both replied.

"Yeah, but that's Trahzo's part of the story." Discord vanished while Spike endured Screwball hugging him.

"Isn't this great? After we get married, you'll be a prince since I'm the princess of chaos, then we can play each other's sports, and then at night, we can play 'wrestling'."

"Umm...are you really okay with getting married to a guy you barely know?"

"As long as he's a sweetheart, just like what Twilight told me about you. So I know you'll be sweet to me & not do anything mean!"

'Well she's got me there.' he thought as Screwball started to drag him over to a cotton candy cloud.

"Hey, where are you taking me?"

"Duh, to Cotton Candy Cloud 9 to make babies!"

*Piano slamming!*

Spike then tried digging his claws in the dirt!

"Don't worry, it's my 1st time as well, so promise you'll be gentle, okay?"

"When I said we should get to know each other, I didn't mean like this!"

"But this is the fastest way! Besides we're gonna be doing this a lot anyways after we get married!" She said as she sat on top of Spike as the cloud rose up! "Now pucker up." Screwball said as she closed her eyes and puckered her lips.

'Guess I shouldn't fight back now, she's the destiny that has been chosen for me.' Spike puckered his lips and then they shared a passionate kiss before doing the do.

Next Chapter: spike and gilda Estimated time remaining: 5 Hours, 55 Minutes